This video further proved to me that I am at heart a 4 LMAO. For a few months, I typed as 9w1, but through breaking some unhealthy relations, I learned that I highly resonate with all of the 4 motivations and behaviours, but I just avoided conflict as a result of my upbringing and as a coping strategy, not to preserve inner peace. I was a people-pleaser and I thought that was because I was a 9, but really it was from me hiding my true self away (I'm a self-pres 4, so I'm countertype) and disintegrating into type 2. Great video!
Elizabeth your comment helped me so much! I also thought 9w1, but a lot of my nine friends are like no you aren't. Then they all said I was a two, but I could see, but only some of the core points matched me. My two friends were like we think you are a 4 heavy wing 5. I was like but I just want to avoid conflict. What you wrote about your upbringing resonated with me and mine. So thank you so much. Hillary this video helped me realize I am a 4 and your Sunny Four video helped me realize that is my subtype so thanks.
I got typed as a 4 about 2ish years ago. I connected with it right away but was actually sad because I thought 4s were the worst. I actually cried because I saw all the negative sides of being a 4 and I knew it was true. Later I thought I could be a 7, mostly because I love to have fun and be super silly. I love adventure and I'm very extroverted. Awhile back I learned about mbti and I'm an ENFP, which are kind of known for being encouraging and fun. I also saw myself as the extroverted one because I had a group of friends who are very introverted, so naturally I was the extrovert and they saw me that way. After really looking at all the types I realized I'm not a 7. I'm still fun. I'm still silly. I still love adventure. But I'm also deep. I HATE small talk, always have. I'm very present in my feelings and I take the time to figure them out. When I'm sad, I let myself be sad. When I'm happy, I let myself be happy. And I want to be unique and authentic. I totally have seen myself lean towards a 1 when I'm healthy. Thanks for this video. I love all the content and I don't mind that they're long.
Andrea, I loved reading about your journey 💛 Thank you for sharing! Fours are amazing human beings. I’m sure so many can relate to your process. And thank you for letting me know my videos aren’t too long 🤣 I appreciate this!
Sp/So 4w5 here. I remember when I was first getting into Enneagram, a lot of people said I was definitely a 9w1 based on my questionnaire responses, and I could kind of see it based on how I act. I don't really fit a lot of the stereotypes typically associated with Type 4, like being an emo kid and/or drama queen. I generally try to project a calmer disposition than I really feel, and I want to be seen as a nice person. But the reality is, I've gotten slapped in the face with my emotions many times in my life. Looking at my core motivations & reflecting on how I've responded to major events in my life, I am simply not someone who unconsciously falls asleep to my emotions or merges with others or any of that stuff. That underlying feeling of being somehow "different" from everyone else & feeling frequently misunderstood is something I've struggled with as far back as elementary school; my 9ish behavior is simply a response to that underlying feeling (i.e avoiding conflict not because I want to maintain harmony, but because I want to keep my personal ideals safe from criticism).
This is helpful Joseph. I am pretty sure I am 4w5 but have 9w1 tendencies. I can't ignore my feelings/emotions and have to process through them before knowing what to do and choose that over harmony, though can be guarded and private about the process (so outwardly looks like I am privileging harmony). Thank you again for articulating this!
I think one thing that is super tricky about typing a 4 happens when one is a self preservation 4 which is the counter type. So all the descriptions of standing out and wanting to feel special don't always align. Also the conflict is not typically something a self preservation 4 wants but will engage if core self is questioned by another. So it took me a long time to settle on self preservation 4 as my type. Then I realized I secretly wanted to be special but not have anyone notice I am special 😂.
Ever since I first learned of the enneagram, I thought I was a 9 because so much of it resonates with me. But when I started therapy, my counselor (who is well versed in the enneagram) and I have discussed the possibility of me being a Self-preservation 4. So much about self-preservation 4 resonates with me, but there are still things about 9 that I identify with. Mostly, my tendency to avoid conflict, my need for peace at almost all costs, and my ability to check out of my own feelings when I don't want to deal with them.
I hear what toy are saying about your friend who does the brows and her motivation first is for people to feel beautiful and to be creative, and the plan and goal to get there was not a main motivation. With a 4w3, which I believe i am, the goals and plan and success part being a motivator feels like it is almost equal to wanting to create and bring beauty to the world. The 4w3 feels like the two core motivations are almost at odds with each other because the motivations are polar opposites.
I appreciate this so much! I was seriously doubting if I was a 4 because I am not great at music or art. I do love styling my home and writing poetry though. I am a hard four. Thank you for this!
i have been doing research to figure out my type and this finally made me come to a conclusion regarding it. i've taken many enneagram quizzes in the past and i've always gotten different types. the most recent one i got 5w4 and i started to do some research and i got confused whether or not i was a type 5w4 or a 4w5 (at first i needed to eliminate the other types i've gotten in the past, ultimately i came to this conclusion). after watching this video i realized i'm definitely a 5w4 because i trust my thoughts way over my emotions. like you mentioned, i detach myself from my emotions in the moment and its almost like i won't let myself feel them, but ill start to think about them. i was confusing myself a lot with type 4 because i've always felt different and that i couldn't relate to others- very individualistic. i also felt like i resonated with the arrows in type 4 than in type 5, but i understand the core desires and fears are more important than the arrows.
Thanks for mentioning the Ian Cron book and his own confusion with 7 and 4. I've settled into my Type 4 but I used to act like a 7 in the past as I always felt the need to liven up social situations to escape the dreary, shallow, one way focused mediocrity of most interactions. I got into this role where if I wasn't brimming with sass and joy at every "hello", my friends would perceive it as me being in a bad mood. Going to school for a science degree and being surrounded by way too many overly studious and competitive pre-med students, I also developed more of a fun social mask to contrast the social sterility. This quarantine has really allowed me to grow more authentically in isolation (I live with my wonderfully attuned boyfriend, enough socializing for me ha). I found a way to use my sensitivity and drive towards refinement of energy and expression in a way that helps others, so this requires the Type 1 Discipline and Actioning to keep me from the 4 Self Absorption haha. I just found your channel and I am so glad. Thank you for your attentive and thoughtful delivery 💕
Thanks for sharing about your journey :) Love reading about who you are and how you have taken something that could be negative and learn and grow from it. Way to go. Thank you for your sweet words! I'm glad you found my channel too!
4 and 9 is what i’m struggling with now. Headed over to see the other video. I am still seeing myself in both. I act a lot like a 4 and 9 but i definitely care more about peace than I do about standing out.
Love your videos! I thought I was a 7 for a while, but I felt like it didn't fit me. It wasn't until I watched your interview with the "sunny four" and I read a bit more that I realized I'm actually a self-preservation 4w3. Thanks for making such helpful videos!
Thanks for this! I have yet to figure out if I am 4w5 or 5w4. This was helpful, but I think it will be a while before I can figure it out. My hunch is 4w5 but I feel *and* think A LOT!
Thank you for this video! I am an ENFP (the campaigner) on the MTBI, but have been struggling figuring out if I am a 4 or 7 on the Enneagram. I relate strongly with both, but have had trouble finding information about why I would feel connected to both, especially as an ENFP. I seem to to fluctuate between seemingly extreme feelings and reactions to situations (extroverted/introverted, passionate/detached, etc). I can have extremely intense emotions, am creative, sensitive, and crave authenticity. But, I also need lots of fun, freedom and exploration. After watching many videos on this channel, including this one, I think there is a strong possibility that I am a self pres 4. Thank you for covering this topic and also mentioning, in many videos, how the Holy Spirit uses and helps all personality types in the body of Christ.
Wow! Love all the work you’ve done. Figuring out your dominant type takes work, patience and self awareness and your doing that. It’s all part of the journey. Thank you for letting me into your journey! ❤️
AHHH I’m an enfp type 4 too !! It’s SO tiring being both an enfp and a type 4 cause we’re cheery but melancholy at the same time ??? Like I’m creative & sensitive & I like to be alone but I also like being around people & being alone at the same time ? 😂
I'm a 4 who mistyped as a 5 for a while. What really cleared it up for me was meeting a 5, and realizing how visibly different we are. The main difference I saw was body language: 5s are more visibly uncomfortable. As an introverted 4, generally I have closed and defensive body language, but 5s take it to a whole other level. They do shielding and are stiff, and just look uncomfortable. 4s will look closed off and introverted, but not stiff
This is very similar to what happened to me, but from the opposite (I'm a 5). Getting to know and talk to a close friend of mine who is a 4 and watching how he and I differ (he tends to ask "how do you feel about (situation)?", while I tend to want to know what people are thinking about the same situation) has really helped nail down the differences. It also doesn't help that I am NOT a SP-variant, so my behaviors and tendencies seem almost more like a 4, an 8 or even a 7 at times!
Thank you so much for sharing the book by Ian Morgan Cron! I will definitely be checking it out and reading about his experience! I am a dominant type 4 but have always felt like I resonated with the spontaneity and energy of a type 7. I thought that it was a bit odd to see myself in two (seemingly) distinct types so it's great to see that others have experienced something similar!
Thank you for this video. It helped me reinforce that I'm a four. I have the things you mentioned in common with all of them. I look to ideals of a perfect world, I'm sensitive to others' feelings but my own first. I have some of the drive of the three, but am motivated by a vision more than a desire to appeared traditionally successful. My partner is a five and we really feel like a couple of outsiders. I'm more obviously weird and eccentric though. I want to find what I stand for and my tribe, the way a six does, but am definitely more free spirited. I crave fun like the seven does, but this fun often involves engaging with my dark side. I prefer dark comedy as a genre, whereas a seven would probably prefer mainstream comedy, which I tend to find a bit too silly. I have strong opinions and can be pretty intense in my arguments. I love a good debate, but have an instinct to opt out if things get ugly, whereas the 8 would probably enjoy getting even more riled up by it. I have to deal with conflict, unlike a nine. It eats at me if I don't. It can be hard for me though, as I'm a gentle person for whom confrontation doesn't come easy. Also absent minded as hell. I have super wacky daydreams though.
I’m so happy I found this video! I watched your type 5 mistypes first and then came to this one so I could see 4vs5 here as well. I’m definitely a type 5! Thank you so much!
Hillary, thank you. Just discovered your channel. I've been a fan of the enneagram for a couple years. I find your videos both fun and quite comprehensive.
I'm a 4w5 btw. Often finding myself envious of 3s, yet also noticing 9s integrating to be like very self aware 3s. Watching 9s go to their 3 kind of arrows me up to my integration 1 as a matter of pure inspiration. It tells me to teach and let others do the achieving. 🙏✨🤗
Great video, I’m glad I discovered your channel. I have questions about type 7 and 4. I really relate with the problems 7 have by getting themselves busy with fun stuff and new things to run from negative feelings which is something 4 don’t seem to do, but then when I look into the childhood wounds of the types i think relate way more with 4, I’m 16 now and now I’m very outgoing and very positive thinking and very 7 like, but when I was a child I remember being lonely in the sense that I had no one my age to interact with me and I was very anxious around people my age so I would never ever start a conversation with them and so I used my imagination to be happy and try to distract myself. Then the type have this thing around it that doesn’t like to be alone and actually gains energy by being with others, which I don’t relate that much I don’t mind being alone at all I actually need a lot of it, some people say in even quite self centered, which could be the result of a 7 being healthy and gaining good traits of 5s but am I not to young to that evolution already? Then I really don’t relate to the melancholia of 4s and again I am very afraid of facing my feelings especially negative ones such as sadness and anger, I always try to convince myself that everything is alright. And I both relate to the desire of 4s of wanting to be known and understood as individual, in almost every interaction I have I focus on making the person see every side of my personality but i really really relate to the main atributes from 7s especially since like 6 years from now. My behavior really changes on the environment I’m in too, if I’m in school or something I think I can be a very hyped person, always being almost like a center of attention, in other places though I barely speak and some of the people I am with in those places would say in the most introverted person they have seen, that’s why so many people have completely different opinions and views on my personality and some individuals even have contradictions options too about me. I’m so sorry for this super long text and sorry if my English is not the best since it’s not my first language 😅
Welcome! Your English was amazing! Loved the super long comment. Here’s my thoughts...you sound like a sunny 4. I have a video on this - here’s the link- ua-cam.com/video/ku52M5Qu7YE/v-deo.html - also today a “Are You A Type 7” UA-cam Video went live - here’s that link - ua-cam.com/video/9ZIaizbVNGQ/v-deo.html - I’d love you to watch those and then let me know what you think. Bottom line is you sound very self aware which is awesome when trying to figure out your type. Thank you for sharing your journey. I look forward to hearing what you come up with. 💕
Hillary McCaskey thank you so much for thanking your time to answer me :) I don’t have time to watch it all now, but I’ll watch it in the end of the day and put my thoughts in the comments, once more thank you!
I was struggling between 4 and 5 for a time and then 4 and 9 and this cleared things up, as i am definitely all about MY feelings. Very positive that im a 4, mistyped as 5 and 9 at times
I took the E-gram test on a whim and scored 4. I read the 1st 2 sentences of the description and read, 'They feel their differences are both a blessing and a curse,' and I knew instantly that I hit something. While I relate to 3 and to 5, I do so relatively to the 4 motivations. And the integration to 1 and disintegration to 2 was so spot on. I am fortunate in that I landed my type instantly.
It's funny because I actually thought I was 7 for a long time, because that was always my top result on any test I took, with a 5 being a close second. Now, I think I'm a type 4. 7s and 4s are supposed to be very different too.
This video is Fantastic and so Useful-thank you so much! Not too long at all. This is exactly the type of thing I’m trying to feel into in order to sort out my type. 🌹🙏🏼💜🙏🏼🌹
Hmm, I'm a little confused now. My motivations are spot on with 4, but so much of what you said about 9 is also true of me. I don't like confrontation. I do like to stand out. I resonate with 4 most and 9 second. hmm.
Thanks a lot. I'm just starting to look into this and while I'm not confused about my type, this was very helpful in learning about the connections between them. Such as where we're headed in stress situations. What I've read about the 2 screams at me "That's mom". And when you said they move forward, we move back then I know that dynamic and actually in it's negative 😅 Like: me withdrawing as she tends to apply help that's unasked for and clearly has a price tag on (which I suppose she often doesn't notice. And I have a lot of understanding for that). And it's indeed going better as she's more and more incorporating my words of caution of "Is this really necessary?", "How about not going if you do not feel like it?", "Did you ask yourself how you ferl about this?". I find it easier to help her with chores or to talk now that the feeling of "offer the tip of a finger, get your whole self dragged in for the whole day" has decreased a bit. It's a process. We're trying! There's progress and it takes time. 😊
I've been interested in figuring out my type recently; I was typed by someone years ago as a 1, but that never resonated with me. Then, when I was stressed recently, I took a test and got a 2, and I liked that option because in my mind, if I just did things more for other people I'd be accepted. (And then recently I saw that 4s move towards 2 when they're stressed...) That same person came back to me after seeing a video testimonial I gave for a mental health service and was like "you know, I think I mistyped you. I think you might be a 4." I hadn't even looked at that, but I think I'd kind of rolled my eyes at the type in the past. But it makes sense, and what I think gets me the most is that when I look at the way I process this discovery process of my type, I see myself processing it as a 4. 😂 I spend time with my emotions, processing, and am like "I just don't have that one piece, if I figured out this part of me I'd make perfect sense." I've wanted coaching and help to find this mysterious missing piece. And a lot of my self-development has been me looking for my "one piece" and then in my mind EVERYTHING about me will suddenly make perfect sense and I'll just succeed in everything I do. I realized the biggest lie keeping me from understanding myself is the belief that I don't feel that much. I've had this assumption for years that other people feel more strongly than me, I just express my feelings more than others do. And I'll think I'm not being very expressive and I continually get comments about how expressive I am, and I was the kid in theater who was told to tone it down while everyone else had to bring more energy. But I'm just assuming I know how strongly other people feel, when I actually can't guaranteed know the strengths that they feel of their own emotions. So yeah... I'm interested to keep processing this. Thanks for the videos, and a video on mistyping is extremely helpful for me! :D Have a great day!
One way I think 4s can mistype themselves as 6s is when they're SP dominate or have high anxiety and see their "worrying about things" as if it were 6-ish behavior. I'm a 4w5 and for a while I kept going back and forth on this because I can get seriously anxious when I feel like my SP needs are about to be ripped away. My 5 wing kicks in to save the day and plan my way out of being deprived of my SP, making me think I was acting like a 6.
I really need to look into this again because I might not be a 4 even though I usually type as one and have seen myself in some of the descriptions. I will get back to watching this video later.
Ironic, the 2 types (6&9) you said are rarely mistypes for the 4; are the two I test at on most tests, though I know I’m a 4. They are always my top 3. One test I had equal percentages 6&9, higher than my 4 percentage. I think 6 is where I go when I’m super anxious for sustained period of time (started after having my son 14 years ago), and 9 is my deepest depression tendencies after I have worked tremendously to try and numb the emotions and slow the incessant thoughts. My work (herbalist) on the surface would be a 2, but underneath def a 4; I just want everyone to learn of the most beneficial plants to be their authentic essential vital selves so they can live their purpose in this lifetime....essentially healing the spirit with plants. Numerous other artistic outlets (bfa ceramics/sculpture, dance, eat colors with my eyes and can taste them, etc. 😂) I also use medical astrology in my work and have always been interested in the lining up of Meyers Briggs types and Birth Chart placements. Now I’m super interested in comparing with Enneagram as it seems much more nuanced and structured even like a birth chart in the way the wings and lines interact and the mistyping at different points is indicative of planet transits to a birth chart will highlight/strengthen/weaken that area or tendencies in life. Anyhoo, really enjoying your videos, and the more I learn about 4, the less crazy I “feel”😉
Same. I feel emotionally authentic, vivid, expressive, and I can be self-absorbed. Yet I really do like information for the sake of information. My reactions are a type of data. Sometimes the Type 4 seems to just be wallowing? And I don't want to do that, it makes me restless and annoyed, impinges on my sense of competence. It honestly scares me, to tell a story about myself with no higher purpose or relevance or usefulness to anyone. I dread wasting people's time. I keep my art to myself, mostly, too. There's a time to pull back and just hit the books again. So I feel maybe, more like 5w4. Afterthought: seems like what 4 and 5 have in common is, the desire to just know and speak the truth.
I can't figure out if I am a type 2 or a type 4. I literally feel like one of them one week and then the other the next. Challenging. I feel like I am so in tuned to other's feelings and my own honestly. Some days I withdraw and some days I am a social butterfly taking care of everyone around me. Like I am almost an introverted extrovert.
This makes sense. The 2 goes towards the healthy side of the 4 in health and 4 goes towards the average to unhealthy side of the 2 in stress. So you can use the healthy and average to unhealthy parts of those two. I have videos on the stress arrows and the health arrows that might help. Hope this helps!
I relate to the Empaths the most, 2. But I tested a 4 Individualist. I think I can def bounce back and forth. Deeper meaning and absorbing and feeling others energies. Lol. I am an empath with most people, and individualist in my home.
I’ve been questioning if i’m a 3w4 or 4w3 for more than 3 weeks now (after being mistyped as a type 1w2); and though I still haven’t found the answer your videos are extremely helpful and I’ve gotten a better understanding of myself thanks to them - so thank you, and keep going!!❤️ (also if anyone has any advice to help me it would be very welcome x) )
So you said that a persons type never changes, so I came to see if I'm a 4 or a 7. You said that 4s deal with their emotions while 7s brush them off, and also you said that 4s dwell on their past while 7s are constantly in the future. So the thing is, I'm not afraid to deal with my emotions (I do that alot) but I also live in the future (I'm so excited about future possibilities). I'm not an envious person at all (I might like stuff that other people have but I don't envy them). I have this desire to explore and discover, but I also don't mind staying alone by myself. The reason why I don don't know if I'm a 7 or a 4 is: -I relate to both -I feel like I was a 4 when I was young -I relate to the 4's fear way more then the 7 -I'm gluttonous but not envious and never jealous -I'm an ambivert that leans to the extrovert side -my trifix: 748 (7w8) -I scored equally on the 3 and 5 -their are things I don't find with the 7 that I find in the 4 and vice versa -Also when you said that "4 vs 7" is a unique case, I felt glad Sorry for making this long but if you can please help me out because I don't think that this is something I can figure out alone Thank you for your cooperation ❤️❤️❤️
Hello, I just saw your post. Hillary has a video about a countertype 4, which can present much more like a 7 - it’s a more in depth explanation of the “sunny 4” that she mentioned here. I found it helpful myself. I don’t remember the title but I think if you search Enneagram Type 4 Countertype or just look for her type 4 playlist you can find it. I hope it’s beneficial!
Reading the comments and realizing 4s could be mistyped as 9s... I was typed as 9w8 and although I identified with the description, it didn’t resonate with me. I am kinda lazy and I like peace, but I’m confronting when the situation needs. When I read 4, everything clicked. The only thing that is greater than my laziness is my envy. Two characteristics that I’m not too proud about, but well... it’s who I am. The only thing that I’m still confused about are the wings and so/sx/sp. But definitely I am a 4!
I do see some similarities between 4s and 7s. My brother, who is a 7, said that they are both “against the status quo”. Which means they are not really concerned with what is the norm, they just do whatever they want and don’t care about being different. I’m a sp 4 and I find myself constantly looking for fun and things that do please me. Luckily I have a lot of 7s in my life. But, in the end, we both search for pleasure for different reasons. I look for bringing meaning for my life, the 7s I live with they wanna have and move against pain. Anyway, I love the 7 type. If I was not a 4, I’d be happy to be a 7.o
00:26 🌱 Type 4s grow towards the healthy side of Type 1 when they make good decisions, become organized, and balance their emotions. 02:15 💭 To grow, Type 4s should appreciate the present moment, finding beauty in today rather than constantly longing for something else. 03:35 🤝 Using their experiences to help others can help Type 4s find purpose and significance. 05:54 😔 Type 4s should recognize and combat the tendency to compare themselves to others, as it can steal their joy and lead to envy. Embrace your uniqueness and stop comparing.
This is definitely me using generalization and perhaps exaggeration, but I feel as though the difference between a nine wondering if they're a four and a four wondering if they're a four can be portrayed in this way: The four is likely agonizing over whether they're really, truly, authentically a four, whether they feel deep enough, ARE enough, understand enough, are WORTHY enough to BE a four, or whether they're just making it up and painting a picture of themself that is more cool and beautiful and unique than they really possibly could be(cause let's face it, while we're prone to low self esteem and can have problems, as the rest, we're pretty darn cool, at the heart of the matter). The nine, on the other hand, who thinks they may be a four probably goes, "Oh, I'm a four! That's awesome! I love to draw! :)" That is lovely, *GENUINELY*, but more simplistic and nice, and not a four train(wreck) of thought . . . and, let's be real, I envy the nine in this way. How cool it would be if things just seemed "neat". Obviously people with a nine best fit type also have capacity to feel deeply, contemplate and wonder, but very likely not in the same heavy and long-lasting, constant ways of four types. Things sure are beautiful, though. :)
00:00 📢 Enneagram Type 4s are unique, intense, and introspective individuals who desire to be special and different from others. 02:48 🌟 Enneagram Type 4s in their highest state are creative, emotionally attuned, and genuinely self-aware. They seek meaning in life and help others with their emotional intelligence. 05:51 💭 At the average level, Type 4s tend to withdraw into their own imagination, become more self-critical, and may worry about being unappreciated or missing out on life. 09:36 😔 In their lowest state, Type 4s may become overwhelmed with shame, detach from others, sabotage themselves, and struggle with feelings of not being enough or envy.
Thank you for the video. Would like to be both the rescuer and the one being rescued. Yes, a difficult one for me; 4w5 5w4. Can identify the most with #4 but still have some doubts; other ones possible for me are: #5, #6, #9 and #1 ... but since of the withdrawn type there is only #4, #5 and #9 left.
This is my 1 coming out....on your title page, it is versus not verses ( Type 4 versus Types 1, 2,3,5,6,7,8, and 9). Just wanted to let you know....common mistake. ❤️😂
Okay. Every time I reassure myself that I am a 4 and I feel like I’m vibing with that type there’s always something that throws me off and makes me question every aspect of myself. Am I really a 4? I don’t like overthink this and every else says don’t be defined by your type. But I want to know and I want to understand myself. Each time I take the enneagram test I get 4w5. So that must be me right? I can feel deep levels of melancholy and have this thing about despair. When I was younger I took pride in being different from everyone but really I just wanted to be accepted and loved. But why do I find myself identifying with 6s paranoia and anxiety? That’s nothing any of the other connections with a 4 would do. And why am I drawn to this spiritual peace like a 9? But I also avoid conflict with other people because I’m afraid they’ll pin it on me? I’m so confused!!!!
I get you. I also had the same problem, a few hours ago when I started researching enneagram, XD. But a lot of these aspects that she states are behavioral, and what should really determine your enneagram type is your core 'values', what moves you in life, why do you do what you do. We can all act like different types, because we humans are quite complex and don't have to limit ourselves to a number or some letters. But at the same time, this helps us understand ourselves better. I'll link you to a page where they explain type 4 quite right, and they add different levels of healthiness. I think it might help you. And if you're not sure, you should keep researching about other types too. Maybe you'll find something that you can relate to even better www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4
@@theycallmeribbon2540 Yes, such a great site! I refer to that site a lot and several others lol. I actually had a typing session with Hillary in January and she was very helpful and sweet. I’m a 4w5. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
@@AliciaMelina Yes, a lot of my issues do stem from unresolved childhood and adolescent traumas. As I’ve reflected on these issues and how I felt during those times, a reoccurring theme was that people were not validating my feelings and experiences, and no one wanted to deal with me when I got “emotional”, needy, clingy, or obsessive. They would always tell me to let it go, not to worry about it, or that it’s not important. Or that if I don’t want drama, don’t make drama. So I learned to make myself small and silent so I wouldn’t be a burden or blamed for my feelings and needs. This is probably why I’m afraid of conflict and why I get paranoid. I used to feel things freely and share my feelings and thoughts openly, but then I was shamed for having them. So I learned to silence and question them when they happen. Thank you for your thoughtful reply!
my fav is green tea frappuccino with coconut milk AND white chocolate P.S. i've so far only seen this flavor in Japan i've recently are forgetting why i like the things i like... i've lost motivation on them :(
I'm getting so frustrated cause someone keeps saying I mistyped as a 4 when I am actually 9. The only thing I could relate to 9s is that I avoid conflicts due to past trauma. I've always been envious of those who seem to live happily as if they're complete. I feel like a lonely island, always felt isolated and I just wanna feel some sort of warmth. I have a worsening social anxiety and failure and rejection terrifies me to the core. I feel like I'm here for a reason, for a bigger purpose but I just couldn't figure out what it is that I'm truly looking for. I wish you could help me get to the core of my type.
is it possible to be equally 4 and 5? HAHA when I did the test I got 5 wing 4 but my friend thinks I am 4 wing 5. After watching this explanation I feel like I am equally both.🤣
By the way, that's nonsense that the 4 goes towards the 1 in health and towards the 2 in stress. That's been debunked. Katherine Fauvre explains that we go in either direction.
4 and 9 is what i’m struggling with now. Headed over to see the other video. I am still seeing myself in both. I act a lot like a 4 and 9 but i definitely care more about peace than I do about standing out.
This video further proved to me that I am at heart a 4 LMAO. For a few months, I typed as 9w1, but through breaking some unhealthy relations, I learned that I highly resonate with all of the 4 motivations and behaviours, but I just avoided conflict as a result of my upbringing and as a coping strategy, not to preserve inner peace. I was a people-pleaser and I thought that was because I was a 9, but really it was from me hiding my true self away (I'm a self-pres 4, so I'm countertype) and disintegrating into type 2. Great video!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Yes! Love that you found your true type!
I resonate with this exact sentiment!!! Just discovered that I'm a SP 4 and not a 9 or a 1, which I thought I was. So glad I'm not alone.
Also a SP 4 here. I’m glad someone else resonates with this feeling. It can be very confusing.
Elizabeth your comment helped me so much! I also thought 9w1, but a lot of my nine friends are like no you aren't. Then they all said I was a two, but I could see, but only some of the core points matched me. My two friends were like we think you are a 4 heavy wing 5. I was like but I just want to avoid conflict. What you wrote about your upbringing resonated with me and mine. So thank you so much.
Hillary this video helped me realize I am a 4 and your Sunny Four video helped me realize that is my subtype so thanks.
Same
I got typed as a 4 about 2ish years ago. I connected with it right away but was actually sad because I thought 4s were the worst. I actually cried because I saw all the negative sides of being a 4 and I knew it was true. Later I thought I could be a 7, mostly because I love to have fun and be super silly. I love adventure and I'm very extroverted. Awhile back I learned about mbti and I'm an ENFP, which are kind of known for being encouraging and fun. I also saw myself as the extroverted one because I had a group of friends who are very introverted, so naturally I was the extrovert and they saw me that way.
After really looking at all the types I realized I'm not a 7. I'm still fun. I'm still silly. I still love adventure. But I'm also deep. I HATE small talk, always have. I'm very present in my feelings and I take the time to figure them out. When I'm sad, I let myself be sad. When I'm happy, I let myself be happy. And I want to be unique and authentic. I totally have seen myself lean towards a 1 when I'm healthy. Thanks for this video. I love all the content and I don't mind that they're long.
Andrea, I loved reading about your journey 💛 Thank you for sharing! Fours are amazing human beings. I’m sure so many can relate to your process. And thank you for letting me know my videos aren’t too long 🤣 I appreciate this!
Sp/So 4w5 here. I remember when I was first getting into Enneagram, a lot of people said I was definitely a 9w1 based on my questionnaire responses, and I could kind of see it based on how I act. I don't really fit a lot of the stereotypes typically associated with Type 4, like being an emo kid and/or drama queen. I generally try to project a calmer disposition than I really feel, and I want to be seen as a nice person.
But the reality is, I've gotten slapped in the face with my emotions many times in my life. Looking at my core motivations & reflecting on how I've responded to major events in my life, I am simply not someone who unconsciously falls asleep to my emotions or merges with others or any of that stuff. That underlying feeling of being somehow "different" from everyone else & feeling frequently misunderstood is something I've struggled with as far back as elementary school; my 9ish behavior is simply a response to that underlying feeling (i.e avoiding conflict not because I want to maintain harmony, but because I want to keep my personal ideals safe from criticism).
This is helpful Joseph. I am pretty sure I am 4w5 but have 9w1 tendencies. I can't ignore my feelings/emotions and have to process through them before knowing what to do and choose that over harmony, though can be guarded and private about the process (so outwardly looks like I am privileging harmony). Thank you again for articulating this!
Joseph this helped me so much. I have the same subtypes as well (just figured that out.) Thanks.
I think one thing that is super tricky about typing a 4 happens when one is a self preservation 4 which is the counter type. So all the descriptions of standing out and wanting to feel special don't always align. Also the conflict is not typically something a self preservation 4 wants but will engage if core self is questioned by another. So it took me a long time to settle on self preservation 4 as my type. Then I realized I secretly wanted to be special but not have anyone notice I am special 😂.
So true!!!
You seem like such a nice person :)
Yay! Thank you for bringing me clarity! Yes I identify as a 4w5.
Yay!!! You’re so welcome! ❤️
Ever since I first learned of the enneagram, I thought I was a 9 because so much of it resonates with me. But when I started therapy, my counselor (who is well versed in the enneagram) and I have discussed the possibility of me being a Self-preservation 4. So much about self-preservation 4 resonates with me, but there are still things about 9 that I identify with. Mostly, my tendency to avoid conflict, my need for peace at almost all costs, and my ability to check out of my own feelings when I don't want to deal with them.
I hear what toy are saying about your friend who does the brows and her motivation first is for people to feel beautiful and to be creative, and the plan and goal to get there was not a main motivation. With a 4w3, which I believe i am, the goals and plan and success part being a motivator feels like it is almost equal to wanting to create and bring beauty to the world. The 4w3 feels like the two core motivations are almost at odds with each other because the motivations are polar opposites.
I appreciate this so much! I was seriously doubting if I was a 4 because I am not great at music or art. I do love styling my home and writing poetry though. I am a hard four. Thank you for this!
Sweet! You’re so welcome!!!!!
i have been doing research to figure out my type and this finally made me come to a conclusion regarding it. i've taken many enneagram quizzes in the past and i've always gotten different types. the most recent one i got 5w4 and i started to do some research and i got confused whether or not i was a type 5w4 or a 4w5 (at first i needed to eliminate the other types i've gotten in the past, ultimately i came to this conclusion). after watching this video i realized i'm definitely a 5w4 because i trust my thoughts way over my emotions. like you mentioned, i detach myself from my emotions in the moment and its almost like i won't let myself feel them, but ill start to think about them. i was confusing myself a lot with type 4 because i've always felt different and that i couldn't relate to others- very individualistic. i also felt like i resonated with the arrows in type 4 than in type 5, but i understand the core desires and fears are more important than the arrows.
Thanks for mentioning the Ian Cron book and his own confusion with 7 and 4. I've settled into my Type 4 but I used to act like a 7 in the past as I always felt the need to liven up social situations to escape the dreary, shallow, one way focused mediocrity of most interactions. I got into this role where if I wasn't brimming with sass and joy at every "hello", my friends would perceive it as me being in a bad mood. Going to school for a science degree and being surrounded by way too many overly studious and competitive pre-med students, I also developed more of a fun social mask to contrast the social sterility.
This quarantine has really allowed me to grow more authentically in isolation (I live with my wonderfully attuned boyfriend, enough socializing for me ha). I found a way to use my sensitivity and drive towards refinement of energy and expression in a way that helps others, so this requires the Type 1 Discipline and Actioning to keep me from the 4 Self Absorption haha.
I just found your channel and I am so glad. Thank you for your attentive and thoughtful delivery 💕
Thanks for sharing about your journey :) Love reading about who you are and how you have taken something that could be negative and learn and grow from it. Way to go. Thank you for your sweet words! I'm glad you found my channel too!
4 and 9 is what i’m struggling with now. Headed over to see the other video. I am still seeing myself in both. I act a lot like a 4 and 9 but i definitely care more about peace than I do about standing out.
I’m a 4 but INTJ and have concluded I’m a 5 wing. Took me a while to figure out the wing. Strong emotions/strong thought evaluation.
Love your videos! I thought I was a 7 for a while, but I felt like it didn't fit me. It wasn't until I watched your interview with the "sunny four" and I read a bit more that I realized I'm actually a self-preservation 4w3. Thanks for making such helpful videos!
Yay! Love this 👏🏼 Love that it helped you land on your type.
No video without a coffee💁🏻♀️😊
Thanks for this! I have yet to figure out if I am 4w5 or 5w4. This was helpful, but I think it will be a while before I can figure it out. My hunch is 4w5 but I feel *and* think A LOT!
I’m glad this was helpful. Love that you don’t feel pressured to have to figure it out. ❤️
Same situation with me! I can say that I could be either for sure! I definitely over feel and over think, all at the same time 😅
Great information! Very interesting. I never think your videos are too long. Always very informative.
Thank you so much! This made my day!
Thank you for this video! I am an ENFP (the campaigner) on the MTBI, but have been struggling figuring out if I am a 4 or 7 on the Enneagram. I relate strongly with both, but have had trouble finding information about why I would feel connected to both, especially as an ENFP. I seem to to fluctuate between seemingly extreme feelings and reactions to situations (extroverted/introverted, passionate/detached, etc). I can have extremely intense emotions, am creative, sensitive, and crave authenticity. But, I also need lots of fun, freedom and exploration. After watching many videos on this channel, including this one, I think there is a strong possibility that I am a self pres 4. Thank you for covering this topic and also mentioning, in many videos, how the Holy Spirit uses and helps all personality types in the body of Christ.
Wow! Love all the work you’ve done. Figuring out your dominant type takes work, patience and self awareness and your doing that. It’s all part of the journey. Thank you for letting me into your journey! ❤️
AHHH I’m an enfp type 4 too !! It’s SO tiring being both an enfp and a type 4 cause we’re cheery but melancholy at the same time ??? Like I’m creative & sensitive & I like to be alone but I also like being around people & being alone at the same time ? 😂
@@naniisims exactly! Soo many paradoxes and not enough time!
I'm a 4 who mistyped as a 5 for a while. What really cleared it up for me was meeting a 5, and realizing how visibly different we are. The main difference I saw was body language: 5s are more visibly uncomfortable. As an introverted 4, generally I have closed and defensive body language, but 5s take it to a whole other level. They do shielding and are stiff, and just look uncomfortable. 4s will look closed off and introverted, but not stiff
I would agree. Glad you figured your type out!
This is very similar to what happened to me, but from the opposite (I'm a 5). Getting to know and talk to a close friend of mine who is a 4 and watching how he and I differ (he tends to ask "how do you feel about (situation)?", while I tend to want to know what people are thinking about the same situation) has really helped nail down the differences. It also doesn't help that I am NOT a SP-variant, so my behaviors and tendencies seem almost more like a 4, an 8 or even a 7 at times!
Thank you so much for sharing the book by Ian Morgan Cron! I will definitely be checking it out and reading about his experience! I am a dominant type 4 but have always felt like I resonated with the spontaneity and energy of a type 7. I thought that it was a bit odd to see myself in two (seemingly) distinct types so it's great to see that others have experienced something similar!
Awesome! You're so welcome! You'll have to let me know what you think!
Thank you for this video. It helped me reinforce that I'm a four. I have the things you mentioned in common with all of them. I look to ideals of a perfect world, I'm sensitive to others' feelings but my own first. I have some of the drive of the three, but am motivated by a vision more than a desire to appeared traditionally successful. My partner is a five and we really feel like a couple of outsiders. I'm more obviously weird and eccentric though. I want to find what I stand for and my tribe, the way a six does, but am definitely more free spirited. I crave fun like the seven does, but this fun often involves engaging with my dark side. I prefer dark comedy as a genre, whereas a seven would probably prefer mainstream comedy, which I tend to find a bit too silly. I have strong opinions and can be pretty intense in my arguments. I love a good debate, but have an instinct to opt out if things get ugly, whereas the 8 would probably enjoy getting even more riled up by it. I have to deal with conflict, unlike a nine. It eats at me if I don't. It can be hard for me though, as I'm a gentle person for whom confrontation doesn't come easy. Also absent minded as hell. I have super wacky daydreams though.
I’m so happy I found this video! I watched your type 5 mistypes first and then came to this one so I could see 4vs5 here as well. I’m definitely a type 5! Thank you so much!
Glad you enjoyed! Thank you for sharing! 👏
Hillary, thank you. Just discovered your channel. I've been a fan of the enneagram for a couple years. I find your videos both fun and quite comprehensive.
I'm a 4w5 btw. Often finding myself envious of 3s, yet also noticing 9s integrating to be like very self aware 3s. Watching 9s go to their 3 kind of arrows me up to my integration 1 as a matter of pure inspiration. It tells me to teach and let others do the achieving. 🙏✨🤗
Great video, I’m glad I discovered your channel. I have questions about type 7 and 4. I really relate with the problems 7 have by getting themselves busy with fun stuff and new things to run from negative feelings which is something 4 don’t seem to do, but then when I look into the childhood wounds of the types i think relate way more with 4, I’m 16 now and now I’m very outgoing and very positive thinking and very 7 like, but when I was a child I remember being lonely in the sense that I had no one my age to interact with me and I was very anxious around people my age so I would never ever start a conversation with them and so I used my imagination to be happy and try to distract myself. Then the type have this thing around it that doesn’t like to be alone and actually gains energy by being with others, which I don’t relate that much I don’t mind being alone at all I actually need a lot of it, some people say in even quite self centered, which could be the result of a 7 being healthy and gaining good traits of 5s but am I not to young to that evolution already? Then I really don’t relate to the melancholia of 4s and again I am very afraid of facing my feelings especially negative ones such as sadness and anger, I always try to convince myself that everything is alright. And I both relate to the desire of 4s of wanting to be known and understood as individual, in almost every interaction I have I focus on making the person see every side of my personality but i really really relate to the main atributes from 7s especially since like 6 years from now. My behavior really changes on the environment I’m in too, if I’m in school or something I think I can be a very hyped person, always being almost like a center of attention, in other places though I barely speak and some of the people I am with in those places would say in the most introverted person they have seen, that’s why so many people have completely different opinions and views on my personality and some individuals even have contradictions options too about me. I’m so sorry for this super long text and sorry if my English is not the best since it’s not my first language 😅
Welcome! Your English was amazing! Loved the super long comment. Here’s my thoughts...you sound like a sunny 4. I have a video on this - here’s the link- ua-cam.com/video/ku52M5Qu7YE/v-deo.html - also today a “Are You A Type 7” UA-cam Video went live - here’s that link - ua-cam.com/video/9ZIaizbVNGQ/v-deo.html - I’d love you to watch those and then let me know what you think. Bottom line is you sound very self aware which is awesome when trying to figure out your type. Thank you for sharing your journey. I look forward to hearing what you come up with. 💕
Hillary McCaskey thank you so much for thanking your time to answer me :) I don’t have time to watch it all now, but I’ll watch it in the end of the day and put my thoughts in the comments, once more thank you!
I was struggling between 4 and 5 for a time and then 4 and 9 and this cleared things up, as i am definitely all about MY feelings. Very positive that im a 4, mistyped as 5 and 9 at times
I took the E-gram test on a whim and scored 4. I read the 1st 2 sentences of the description and read, 'They feel their differences are both a blessing and a curse,' and I knew instantly that I hit something. While I relate to 3 and to 5, I do so relatively to the 4 motivations. And the integration to 1 and disintegration to 2 was so spot on. I am fortunate in that I landed my type instantly.
My 9 mom tells me, 'You see the world in shit colored glasses.'
Awesome! You have great self awareness.
It's funny because I actually thought I was 7 for a long time, because that was always my top result on any test I took, with a 5 being a close second. Now, I think I'm a type 4. 7s and 4s are supposed to be very different too.
This video is Fantastic and so Useful-thank you so much! Not too long at all. This is exactly the type of thing I’m trying to feel into in order to sort out my type. 🌹🙏🏼💜🙏🏼🌹
Thank you! I’m so glad it was useful!
Hmm, I'm a little confused now. My motivations are spot on with 4, but so much of what you said about 9 is also true of me. I don't like confrontation. I do like to stand out. I resonate with 4 most and 9 second. hmm.
I am a 4 but totally hate conflict and confrontation. I run at the though of it.
😂 Me too! Sometimes this can depend on the subtype.
Me too! Pretty high on 9, but I’m a definite 4!
Thanks a lot. I'm just starting to look into this and while I'm not confused about my type, this was very helpful in learning about the connections between them. Such as where we're headed in stress situations. What I've read about the 2 screams at me "That's mom". And when you said they move forward, we move back then I know that dynamic and actually in it's negative 😅 Like: me withdrawing as she tends to apply help that's unasked for and clearly has a price tag on (which I suppose she often doesn't notice. And I have a lot of understanding for that). And it's indeed going better as she's more and more incorporating my words of caution of "Is this really necessary?", "How about not going if you do not feel like it?", "Did you ask yourself how you ferl about this?". I find it easier to help her with chores or to talk now that the feeling of "offer the tip of a finger, get your whole self dragged in for the whole day" has decreased a bit. It's a process. We're trying! There's progress and it takes time. 😊
Really helpful! Thank you. Now I 'my sure I am type 4 😊.
❤️❤️❤️
I've been interested in figuring out my type recently; I was typed by someone years ago as a 1, but that never resonated with me. Then, when I was stressed recently, I took a test and got a 2, and I liked that option because in my mind, if I just did things more for other people I'd be accepted. (And then recently I saw that 4s move towards 2 when they're stressed...)
That same person came back to me after seeing a video testimonial I gave for a mental health service and was like "you know, I think I mistyped you. I think you might be a 4." I hadn't even looked at that, but I think I'd kind of rolled my eyes at the type in the past.
But it makes sense, and what I think gets me the most is that when I look at the way I process this discovery process of my type, I see myself processing it as a 4. 😂 I spend time with my emotions, processing, and am like "I just don't have that one piece, if I figured out this part of me I'd make perfect sense." I've wanted coaching and help to find this mysterious missing piece. And a lot of my self-development has been me looking for my "one piece" and then in my mind EVERYTHING about me will suddenly make perfect sense and I'll just succeed in everything I do.
I realized the biggest lie keeping me from understanding myself is the belief that I don't feel that much. I've had this assumption for years that other people feel more strongly than me, I just express my feelings more than others do. And I'll think I'm not being very expressive and I continually get comments about how expressive I am, and I was the kid in theater who was told to tone it down while everyone else had to bring more energy. But I'm just assuming I know how strongly other people feel, when I actually can't guaranteed know the strengths that they feel of their own emotions.
So yeah... I'm interested to keep processing this. Thanks for the videos, and a video on mistyping is extremely helpful for me! :D Have a great day!
One way I think 4s can mistype themselves as 6s is when they're SP dominate or have high anxiety and see their "worrying about things" as if it were 6-ish behavior. I'm a 4w5 and for a while I kept going back and forth on this because I can get seriously anxious when I feel like my SP needs are about to be ripped away. My 5 wing kicks in to save the day and plan my way out of being deprived of my SP, making me think I was acting like a 6.
I really need to look into this again because I might not be a 4 even though I usually type as one and have seen myself in some of the descriptions. I will get back to watching this video later.
Ironic, the 2 types (6&9) you said are rarely mistypes for the 4; are the two I test at on most tests, though I know I’m a 4. They are always my top 3. One test I had equal percentages 6&9, higher than my 4 percentage. I think 6 is where I go when I’m super anxious for sustained period of time (started after having my son 14 years ago), and 9 is my deepest depression tendencies after I have worked tremendously to try and numb the emotions and slow the incessant thoughts. My work (herbalist) on the surface would be a 2, but underneath def a 4; I just want everyone to learn of the most beneficial plants to be their authentic essential vital selves so they can live their purpose in this lifetime....essentially healing the spirit with plants. Numerous other artistic outlets (bfa ceramics/sculpture, dance, eat colors with my eyes and can taste them, etc. 😂) I also use medical astrology in my work and have always been interested in the lining up of Meyers Briggs types and Birth Chart placements. Now I’m super interested in comparing with Enneagram as it seems much more nuanced and structured even like a birth chart in the way the wings and lines interact and the mistyping at different points is indicative of planet transits to a birth chart will highlight/strengthen/weaken that area or tendencies in life. Anyhoo, really enjoying your videos, and the more I learn about 4, the less crazy I “feel”😉
Still confused if I’m 4w5 or 5w4.
This one is a hard one. I have a 5s Mistype video too that might help.
Same. I feel emotionally authentic, vivid, expressive, and I can be self-absorbed. Yet I really do like information for the sake of information. My reactions are a type of data. Sometimes the Type 4 seems to just be wallowing? And I don't want to do that, it makes me restless and annoyed, impinges on my sense of competence. It honestly scares me, to tell a story about myself with no higher purpose or relevance or usefulness to anyone. I dread wasting people's time. I keep my art to myself, mostly, too.
There's a time to pull back and just hit the books again. So I feel maybe, more like 5w4.
Afterthought: seems like what 4 and 5 have in common is, the desire to just know and speak the truth.
I can't figure out if I am a type 2 or a type 4. I literally feel like one of them one week and then the other the next. Challenging. I feel like I am so in tuned to other's feelings and my own honestly. Some days I withdraw and some days I am a social butterfly taking care of everyone around me. Like I am almost an introverted extrovert.
This makes sense. The 2 goes towards the healthy side of the 4 in health and 4 goes towards the average to unhealthy side of the 2 in stress. So you can use the healthy and average to unhealthy parts of those two. I have videos on the stress arrows and the health arrows that might help. Hope this helps!
@@enneagramandcoaching Thanks! I really am enjoying your videos!! Do you have an instagram?
Audrey K thank you so much! Yes! I have two 😳 one is my person account @Hillary_mccaskey_coaching and the other is @Enneagramandcoaching 💛
@@enneagramandcoaching Thanks!! Followed both :) And subscribed.
Audrey K awesome!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I relate to the Empaths the most, 2. But I tested a 4 Individualist. I think I can def bounce back and forth. Deeper meaning and absorbing and feeling others energies. Lol. I am an empath with most people, and individualist in my home.
I’ve been questioning if i’m a 3w4 or 4w3 for more than 3 weeks now (after being mistyped as a type 1w2); and though I still haven’t found the answer your videos are extremely helpful and I’ve gotten a better understanding of myself thanks to them - so thank you, and keep going!!❤️ (also if anyone has any advice to help me it would be very welcome x) )
So you said that a persons type never changes, so I came to see if I'm a 4 or a 7. You said that 4s deal with their emotions while 7s brush them off, and also you said that 4s dwell on their past while 7s are constantly in the future. So the thing is, I'm not afraid to deal with my emotions (I do that alot) but I also live in the future (I'm so excited about future possibilities). I'm not an envious person at all (I might like stuff that other people have but I don't envy them). I have this desire to explore and discover, but I also don't mind staying alone by myself. The reason why I don
don't know if I'm a 7 or a 4 is:
-I relate to both
-I feel like I was a 4 when I was young
-I relate to the 4's fear way more then the 7
-I'm gluttonous but not envious and never jealous
-I'm an ambivert that leans to the extrovert side
-my trifix: 748 (7w8)
-I scored equally on the 3 and 5
-their are things I don't find with the 7 that I find in the 4 and vice versa
-Also when you said that "4 vs 7" is a unique case, I felt glad
Sorry for making this long but if you can please help me out because I don't think that this is something I can figure out alone
Thank you for your cooperation
❤️❤️❤️
Hello, I just saw your post.
Hillary has a video about a countertype 4, which can present much more like a 7 - it’s a more in depth explanation of the “sunny 4” that she mentioned here. I found it helpful myself. I don’t remember the title but I think if you search Enneagram Type 4 Countertype or just look for her type 4 playlist you can find it. I hope it’s beneficial!
You finally got to have your Starbucks coffee!! 😀 ☕️
Right?!?! LOL 😂🙌🏼
Reading the comments and realizing 4s could be mistyped as 9s... I was typed as 9w8 and although I identified with the description, it didn’t resonate with me. I am kinda lazy and I like peace, but I’m confronting when the situation needs. When I read 4, everything clicked. The only thing that is greater than my laziness is my envy. Two characteristics that I’m not too proud about, but well... it’s who I am. The only thing that I’m still confused about are the wings and so/sx/sp. But definitely I am a 4!
I do see some similarities between 4s and 7s. My brother, who is a 7, said that they are both “against the status quo”. Which means they are not really concerned with what is the norm, they just do whatever they want and don’t care about being different. I’m a sp 4 and I find myself constantly looking for fun and things that do please me. Luckily I have a lot of 7s in my life. But, in the end, we both search for pleasure for different reasons. I look for bringing meaning for my life, the 7s I live with they wanna have and move against pain.
Anyway, I love the 7 type. If I was not a 4, I’d be happy to be a 7.o
Thank you so much. Very hellpful.
You’re so welcome!
00:26 🌱 Type 4s grow towards the healthy side of Type 1 when they make good decisions, become organized, and balance their emotions.
02:15 💭 To grow, Type 4s should appreciate the present moment, finding beauty in today rather than constantly longing for something else.
03:35 🤝 Using their experiences to help others can help Type 4s find purpose and significance.
05:54 😔 Type 4s should recognize and combat the tendency to compare themselves to others, as it can steal their joy and lead to envy. Embrace your uniqueness and stop comparing.
This is definitely me using generalization and perhaps exaggeration, but I feel as though the difference between a nine wondering if they're a four and a four wondering if they're a four can be portrayed in this way:
The four is likely agonizing over whether they're really, truly, authentically a four, whether they feel deep enough, ARE enough, understand enough, are WORTHY enough to BE a four, or whether they're just making it up and painting a picture of themself that is more cool and beautiful and unique than they really possibly could be(cause let's face it, while we're prone to low self esteem and can have problems, as the rest, we're pretty darn cool, at the heart of the matter).
The nine, on the other hand, who thinks they may be a four probably goes, "Oh, I'm a four! That's awesome! I love to draw! :)" That is lovely, *GENUINELY*, but more simplistic and nice, and not a four train(wreck) of thought . . . and, let's be real, I envy the nine in this way. How cool it would be if things just seemed "neat". Obviously people with a nine best fit type also have capacity to feel deeply, contemplate and wonder, but very likely not in the same heavy and long-lasting, constant ways of four types.
Things sure are beautiful, though. :)
00:00 📢 Enneagram Type 4s are unique, intense, and introspective individuals who desire to be special and different from others.
02:48 🌟 Enneagram Type 4s in their highest state are creative, emotionally attuned, and genuinely self-aware. They seek meaning in life and help others with their emotional intelligence.
05:51 💭 At the average level, Type 4s tend to withdraw into their own imagination, become more self-critical, and may worry about being unappreciated or missing out on life.
09:36 😔 In their lowest state, Type 4s may become overwhelmed with shame, detach from others, sabotage themselves, and struggle with feelings of not being enough or envy.
I thought I was a 7w8 but I'm actually a 4w3, thanks
Thank you for the video.
Would like to be both the rescuer and the one being rescued. Yes, a difficult one for me; 4w5 5w4. Can identify the most with #4 but still have some doubts; other ones possible for me are: #5, #6, #9 and #1 ... but since of the withdrawn type there is only #4, #5 and #9 left.
Taking a little poll… As an Enneagram 4, What is your Moon sign in astrology?? Feel free to add your wing and subtype also! :) Thank you 🙏🏽
This is my 1 coming out....on your title page, it is versus not verses ( Type 4 versus Types 1, 2,3,5,6,7,8, and 9). Just wanted to let you know....common mistake. ❤️😂
Ugh! I know 🤣🤣🤣 I need to fix all 9! Thank you!
Okay. Every time I reassure myself that I am a 4 and I feel like I’m vibing with that type there’s always something that throws me off and makes me question every aspect of myself. Am I really a 4? I don’t like overthink this and every else says don’t be defined by your type. But I want to know and I want to understand myself.
Each time I take the enneagram test I get 4w5. So that must be me right? I can feel deep levels of melancholy and have this thing about despair. When I was younger I took pride in being different from everyone but really I just wanted to be accepted and loved.
But why do I find myself identifying with 6s paranoia and anxiety? That’s nothing any of the other connections with a 4 would do. And why am I drawn to this spiritual peace like a 9? But I also avoid conflict with other people because I’m afraid they’ll pin it on me? I’m so confused!!!!
I get you. I also had the same problem, a few hours ago when I started researching enneagram, XD. But a lot of these aspects that she states are behavioral, and what should really determine your enneagram type is your core 'values', what moves you in life, why do you do what you do. We can all act like different types, because we humans are quite complex and don't have to limit ourselves to a number or some letters. But at the same time, this helps us understand ourselves better. I'll link you to a page where they explain type 4 quite right, and they add different levels of healthiness. I think it might help you. And if you're not sure, you should keep researching about other types too. Maybe you'll find something that you can relate to even better
www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4
Also - your questions are really good. As for the anxiety - have you thought about it stemming from some childhood trauma or other experiences maybe?
@@theycallmeribbon2540 Yes, such a great site! I refer to that site a lot and several others lol. I actually had a typing session with Hillary in January and she was very helpful and sweet. I’m a 4w5. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
@@AliciaMelina Yes, a lot of my issues do stem from unresolved childhood and adolescent traumas.
As I’ve reflected on these issues and how I felt during those times, a reoccurring theme was that people were not validating my feelings and experiences, and no one wanted to deal with me when I got “emotional”, needy, clingy, or obsessive. They would always tell me to let it go, not to worry about it, or that it’s not important. Or that if I don’t want drama, don’t make drama.
So I learned to make myself small and silent so I wouldn’t be a burden or blamed for my feelings and needs. This is probably why I’m afraid of conflict and why I get paranoid. I used to feel things freely and share my feelings and thoughts openly, but then I was shamed for having them. So I learned to silence and question them when they happen.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply!
ENFP, 4w3
I think 9 teach us the 4 in the insecurity side
my fav is green tea frappuccino with coconut milk AND white chocolate
P.S. i've so far only seen this flavor in Japan
i've recently are forgetting why i like the things i like... i've lost motivation on them :(
I'm getting so frustrated cause someone keeps saying I mistyped as a 4 when I am actually 9. The only thing I could relate to 9s is that I avoid conflicts due to past trauma. I've always been envious of those who seem to live happily as if they're complete. I feel like a lonely island, always felt isolated and I just wanna feel some sort of warmth. I have a worsening social anxiety and failure and rejection terrifies me to the core. I feel like I'm here for a reason, for a bigger purpose but I just couldn't figure out what it is that I'm truly looking for.
I wish you could help me get to the core of my type.
I got "diagnosed" with a type 4 just now, but I'm also classified as INTJ, and it's like -- did I hit the opposite of a psychological jackpot? 😬
Omg, INTJ Ennea 4. Perfect!!
Same. Feels like a bit of a curse
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson Perfect for what? Lol
Thank you!! ^_^
You’re so welcome 💛
4w5 here!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
How to become a Enneagram coach
So, I am a 4, but am unsure of my dominant wing. However, if I am a healthy 4 and gravitate to a 1, should I study more on the 1 as well?
I have not quite made to a healthy 4 as of yet, but I am working it.
But i like long videos👍🏻😁
Im still confused about type 4 and type 5 :( I did a test and scored 98% on both 4 and 5 so I really don't know what that means
You might want to try Katherine Fauvre's tritype test
is it possible to be equally 4 and 5? HAHA when I did the test I got 5 wing 4 but my friend thinks I am 4 wing 5. After watching this explanation I feel like I am equally both.🤣
now I also feel I could be a 9 as well 🤣
By the way, that's nonsense that the 4 goes towards the 1 in health and towards the 2 in stress. That's been debunked. Katherine Fauvre explains that we go in either direction.
You’re an ExFJ in MBTI, aren’t you ?
ESFJ or ENFJ?
I'M A TYPE 4 AND A PAINTER, HA
👏🏼👏🏼🤣
Not a fan of much caffeine? Is that a nine thing? 😉 Kidding.
😅
Getting Starbucks-- why? Wasting time...
4 and 9 is what i’m struggling with now. Headed over to see the other video. I am still seeing myself in both. I act a lot like a 4 and 9 but i definitely care more about peace than I do about standing out.
hey, do you experience more shame or anger in your stressed state? this is the core indicator of a 4 vs 9, 4 is shame , 9 is inner anger.
@@MalcolmChui Thanks! actually i feel them both and waffle between them…. Thanks!