As an ex-Mormon who left over 10 years ago, it's totally okay to dress more modestly if that's what you're comfortable with. But the point is that now, you get to do it for you because that's what you like or are comfortable with, not because it's being dictated to you to do so.
This atheist does not like the “ dressing modestly “ expression . I have never hidden my shoulders , hair , knees , while never dressing immodesty . No religion I know of can afford to be so self righteous as to define “ modesty “given what is known about these type of organisations.
@moniquedelaney7958 True! Maybe a better way to describe it would be "more coverage. " I'm not religious at all, but I prefer more coverage for comfort. I don't care at all about the "righteousness" of it either.
@rememberpratik727 "evil men" usually do not pick their victims based on what they're wearing. they usually pick their victims by how vulnerable they hey are, or if they know them personally and want to do something evil. every day countless women dressing "modestly" are victims of s3xual crimes. so to be honest you should dress how you want but carry mace
In my opinion, this is one of the best interviews you’ve done, John. Alyssa put into words all kinds of thoughts and feelings I’ve been sorting through throughout my faith crisis/leaving the Mormon church. Thank you!!
I left in 1989. I cried when I burned my garments. My biggest surprise was the loss of friends I had since 1974 when I joined. I soon realized they weren't truly my friends. I love the idea of enlightenment.I feel good about myself now. It took a long time.
You also have consider how much they have been influenced (brainwashed?) to believe that you are dangerous as an ex Mormon, so it is not only about the quality of friendship but the competing influence of the church to keep these people away from you. 🙁
@rememberpratik727problem is that is a lie. It's okay if that is the kind of god you want believe in, but that is not what the real creator of the universe intended for you. You are God and God is you.... And God is nothing but love.
I was shocked at how quickly my Mormon friends ditched me when I left the church. They were my besties for 11 years and I was always a super good friend. I didn’t even say much to my friends about the church. I just told my friends that I’m leaving because of how the church handled my child abuse. My friends immediately stopped inviting me to all kid play dates, workouts, friend hangouts, parties, etc. It hurts, but I now know they weren’t my real friends.
@rememberpratik727 the only one who you give an account of your life is to yourself. Because it is the thoughts, the feelings and the things that only you know about that make your life heavenly or hellish since the moment you wake up until you go to sleep (that is if you can even sleep) the big lie is that you are going to be accountable after you are dead, but that is not how it is right here, right now. Heaven and hell are in your own mind. You only need to be saved from yourself and only you can be your own savior.
Ex-mormon teen convert here! I am in Oregon where Psilocybin therapy was just legalized, (with a licensed facilitator) and I have an appointment for April 13th. As someone with CPTSD, I've been so moved and impressed by all the research and testimonies of people like me who have had their life turned around. My brain was wired in trauma and Mormonism; I'm ready for some re-wiring!
I’m a Never Mormon and an Ex-Catholic but remain a devout Christian without a religion messing with my beliefs! Love Mormon Stories! God bless you John and Margee and Alyssa! ♥️
Apparently you weren't a very good Catholic either because if you truly understood the Catholic Church, you would have never left. Just out of curiosity, what type of church do you attend now?
About to watch this while drinking coffee with my breakfast three years after losing my faith. ❤so much love to everyone I'm so happy to enjoy the simple things in life and finding meaningfulness in my own life without guilt. ❤
Alyssa is such an amazing person. I follow her on TikTok, and as a Never Mormon I easily connect with her deconstruction of her faith. I grew up in a very conservative evangelical church. I’ve spent 25 years deconstructing, but it was during a time when there wasn’t much in the way of guidance and support. Watching Alyssa thrive and use her voice so openly gives me hope for deconstructing women from every Christian tradition.
I am a never mormon, but I struggle immensely with extreme anxiety and perfectionism. I have been watching every single episode, live stream, and short from this channel for the past couple of months. I am stunned to see how my issues coming out of anxious survival mode are sort of mirrored with the struggles that ex-mormons discuss. Love this channel and am so happy to see Alyssa in an episode. I definitely plan to buy this book.
I have done so much work over the past 20 years I am happy to announce that I no longer have "church" dreams. Yay! Looking forward to receiving your book, Alyssa. Thank you for sharing you experiences and talent.
Absolutely loved this podcast. I have been a member for 5 yrs. converting from a life long devout Roman Catholic who was having a huge faith crisis following the announcement of the sexual abuse within the Catholic Church among its priests only to discover that the Catholic religion wasn’t the only religion that had been covering up these horrific crimes for years. I am now going through another faith crisis within the Mormon church. My calling as a Primary teacher is a wonderful calling. I love to be around children and intertwine with them. However, I have never had any education in the teaching aspect of this religion and am winging it with 9 year olds who know much more than me in this subject. I have done an enormous amount of research into the life of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon and no longer believe the Joseph Smith was a prophet and translated the Book of Mormon into English. I have compared it to the Bible and saw how easy it would be to change names and regions yet keep the initial Word of the Holy Bible so not to confuse people with a totally different story. Joseph Smith was a brilliant opportunist, who at the right time in history, was able to convince people of his visions and revelations at an opportune time where many were searching themselves for answers. Every time he found an opportunity to explain the whys, such as his polygamy, he would come up with a different vision he had , which would explain why he had 30+ wives to include underage young women. How do I teach a young group of children a subject that I no longer believe in? It is hypocritical and a lie on my part for which I am struggling with. My problem is that I absolutely love my Ward and the people in it. It has given me a social outlet which I desperately needed at the time of my conversion. I can no longer wear the beautiful cross my mother left me and asked that I never take off, which was told to me that I could wear it as long as I covered it up. Not acceptable! Just an FYI, I converted at age 68 and am now a very young 72. Alyssa’s book sounds fascinating but so much of it doesn’t pertain to someone who had been very devout for 68 years in one religion and converted to another one. I didn’t grow up with the fears and strict rules that the Mormon religion pounds into young people from the age of understanding. Yes, we were taught that sex outside of marriage is a sin but not deadly. The Words of Wisdom had me asking questions as soon as I read them. It says no hot drinks which ended up being coffee and tea but you could drink hot chocolate, cider and other hot drinks. What about ice coffee and tea? Nobody could ever answer that question. Even Elder Gong couldn’t answer it. We met him shortly after our conversion when he came to Knoxville, TN and we were invited as new members to go to a conference he was giving. He was amazing and truly reverent. I am of Italian descent and grew up drinking coffee and wine with my dinner, a very hard life long tradition to give up but I did for quite a while. I adore and love my church family which I know now, that is what is keeping me in the church but as far as my early testimonies, they have left me entirely and totally exhausted. When asked by people what religion I am I automatically say Catholic which surprises me every time. I certainly was not told the whole truth throughout my lessons and entered the church under many falsehoods. I am not blaming my sweet missionary sisters whom I’m still in contact with. They were doing what they believed in and I enjoyed every minute I spent with them. Everything happened so quickly that my head was spinning! My first temple visit was a week after baptism which consisted of baptism of the dead. Following this, I wondered how my mother and other family members who had passed would be feeling about being baptized into another religion, which would horrify them. I didn’t have a good feeling at that time. My second temple visit was one year following baptism. My Ward members and Bishop were constantly encouraging my husband and I to get endowed and sealed as soon as possible. I didn’t fully understand what the endowment was and why I would have to be sealed to my husband since I felt this was an unspoken part of my marriage vowels initially. My husband and I have been married for 52 years at the time of this writing. I was absolutely freaked out and was horrified by this whole experience and wanted to get up and run out of the temple halfway through the endowment. Twenty-five members of our ward attended making the 4&1/2 hour trip to the temple which, out of respect, stopped me. The only thing I had purchased for these events was a temple dress and shoes. The sisters had to take me and my husband to the shop to purchase additional items to complete what was needed for the endowment, including the undergarments which I have despised ever since, not knowing these were required to be worn always. I did wear them for a short time but had to change 3/4 of my wardrobe. No more sundresses, shorts, tank tops, etc. which were conservative in nature. These garments were very uncomfortable and hot since we now live in Tennessee. I just couldn’t do it. I do wear them to church though. I guess you could label me as a “bad Mormon “. Last summer I stopped going to church after I was released as the Primary Secretary (just an FYI, my first calling came two weeks following my baptism which was the Relief Society Secretary. I had no idea what the Relief Society was!”) because of my research and also reading and carefully studying the CES letter which many of my close friends from the ward never heard of and those that did just continued to claim it was false and written by those who had a vendetta against the church. My husband and I were constantly receiving phone calls and texts from members inquiring as to what was happening and if they could be of any help to us. I was becoming very anxious on top of the anxiety and depression I already suffer from and wanted to be left alone to work out my issues, which I politely and respectfully hinted. I know this is long and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Long story short, I am back at church, but under false pretenses. I just don’t know where to go and how to leave respectfully and without hurting those I love so dearly in our ward who have shown us nothing but love and acceptance. It is tearing me apart. Just know that my faith and love for Heavenly Father, Our Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost will never waver. I will always believe and defend. John, I love your podcasts and try not to miss any. Most of them I see in replay, like this one. I started watching it live but finished today. I have so much respect for you and your associates who join you frequently. Thank you for what you do and bring to your followers. Again congratulations to Alyssa and I’m sure her book will be very successful. Much love ❤️❤️
I’ve been honest but was asked to come back because so many have doubts at times . I have talked with those who are close and they think it will resolve. They don’t understand because they did not spend 68 years in a religion that they never thought to convert to another religion only to find that it wasn’t what you thought. Mormonism is their life! Hats off to the woman who tossed her shrugs!
Thank you for your detailed descriptions. The most important suggestion is to do whatever is best for you. This is why John neither condones one-sided messages that everyone should leave or everyone should stay. Since you seem to have serious concerns about the whole narrative of Joseph Smith and Mormonism and are still looking for a community, maybe some other Christian community might be the best choice. Try church hopping or researching the different denominations in your area. In the US, there is usually plenty of choices. Or become a nuanced Catholic who opposes the misdeeds but still cherishes the tradition and culture. America is the land of infinite choices. Now it's upon you to make your own choice instead of relying on Russell Nelson or Pope Francis or anyone else really. 💪
However, I don't think anyone gets to choose what they believe. You can start to question what you believe and your beliefs can change but you can't chose to change your belief.
Alyssa’s point about Oaks’ good, better, best talk is spot on. It doesn’t matter how well you’re doing in Mormonism, there’s ALWAYS more you could be doing. I went through a time when my mantra was, “If I can, I should. If I should, I must!” While never being diagnosed, I would now call that scrupulosity.
It's so funny to me when a Mormon condemns someone else for drinking a simple cup of coffee, then turns around to gulp down energy drinks and caffeinated sodas that are much worse for your health with much larger amounts of caffeine. Such blatant hypocrisy all around.
This is my intuition as a never Mormon: while abstaining from drugs, tobacco, alcohol make quite sense,nthe value of banning coffee and tea is precisely that it is an arbitrary rule without any rationale. Thus, a Mormon can prove their commitment by following this perfectly random rule, proving obedience to God and the church. Similarly, the rule to abandon the word Mormon is a random, arbitrary rule, but this time it tests obedience to current prophet Nelson against previous prophets, especially Monson. By using the awkwardly long full name of the church, you prove that you blindly follow Nelson over Monson who ran the "I am a Mormon" campaign.
Exactly! I got the nerve to finally try coffee after running into my bishops wife at the grocery store with her cart full of energy drinks. It really made me stop and wonder “why is that ok and coffee isn’t?”.
Education is key. Keeping people and children ignorant, whether it’s about sexual health, consent, or basic facts about alcohol/drugs, can put people in very harmful/vulnerable and dangerous situations. Religions like this are creating the perfect victims for abuse through shame and ignorance. It’s unfortunate that adults now have to seek out all this basic information about the world at age 20, 30, 40, 50+ because of the poor education they received as a child and young adult.
Lol. I'm loving the whole tank top reveal. Only because I just threw every shrug I own in a donation bag just today. And as I did I said, "fu@& the shrug". Over the years I had bought one in almost every color to cover my seductive shoulders. It was so liberating to commit to never wearing one again. Growing up in the church, I have never got what is so awful with wearing sleeveless clothing.
I have donated to Mormon Stories in the past. I have been watching various episodes a day for over a year. You are very informative, professional and caring. I have never been a Mormon. One thing that I keep shaking my head at is that high demand religions push fellowship more so, so as to keep their members. I can go from one Christian church to another and find myself at home. I look for Christ in those communities and that is my foundation. God bless you all.
@@DeJaVuCahe also cautions people into believing them because you could be manipulated or abused. Look at the 49min mark. It's just someone feeding you bullshit at the end of the day.
The beginning of the end for me was 16 plus years ago when my non LDS therapist asked me, “Do you think that your religion has had an undue influence on your life?” It was my entire life and blew apart spectacularly during a divorce.
Thanks John for adding your disclaimer. You are consistent in ensuring you are never suggesting people should leave the church. Your show is about information, and helps us deprograming mormons how to go on, how to make sense of the insanity that was Mormonism in our lives.
I can listen to you all talk for HOURS!!!! Normally it eoukd feel crazy to click on something longer than the longest Hollywood movies, but with you all i knew it would be interesting to listen while working on house projects!
I am glued to this story. As a 70+ woman I can relate so much. Raised in a mixed faith family, mom JW and dad a Scandinavian immigrant who did not like JW. So, a lot of discord there, then I married too young, violent angry man. But MAN is head of household. Years and years and bearing responsibilities for everything needed to raise children and deal with the man before I realized enough self respect and clarity to detach from this person…. If we had internet and ppl like Mormon podcast 50 years ago, oh the places I could have gone!!!
Alyssa, you are a deep thinker like me. “If the church isn’t true, WHEN would you want to know?” I wish I had learned this as young as possible….at least by my teens, and no later! Too many choices in life were based on the beliefs of this religion. And, the way they ‘program’ us into thinking neurotically, that we are never enough. There are members that claim that they don’t do that…..um, THEY DO! That’s why Utah has the most teens and women on antidepressants! We never feel that we are good enough. Always striving for perfection.
Alyssa, John and Margie's comments were heartfelt, open and very honest.!! I agree, we are all totally responsible for our own SOUL'S EVOLUTION. It has absolutely nothing to do with how many members attend church, pay tithing, are endowed, and also definitely not about, how many ornate temples or shopping malls the church owns either. !!!
@trevanon7450 Shopping malls are like being at Disney World. The mentality there is to make the outward self look beautiful, successful, etc. Whereas, Buddhist teachings are about meditating and making peace with your inner self. IOW You are the boss of yourself without anyone else knowing what you are really up to.!! LOL..
@@lisabrinkerhoff4706 That's amazing!! I'm sure you feel a lot better because of it! By the way, are you related to siblings Josh, and Heather Brinkerhoff?
I’m ex trad/conservative Catholic. I was in Opus Dei which is kind of similar to Mormonism. As a ‘celibate’ member I think it’s akin to being on mission for a lifetime. I was also in a trad religious order that was culty, akin in my mind to FLDS. Parts of Alyssa’s story resonated a lot. When I left this I had nobody who understood and was cut off. It was the loneliest, hardest part of my life. My deconstruction curve lasted 10 years. I wish I had that book at the time! In the last years of my deconstruction when I actually decided I was no longer Catholic I discovered ex Mormon internet. Just wanted to let you know that a tiny population of ex Opus Dei will find experiences in mainstream Mormonism very familiar. And ex trad Catholics will understand flds/preppers, in my opinion, and find your channel really helpful. Nobody in English is talking about ex opus or ex nuns because our numbers are so small and there is so much stigma so I wanted to thank you sooo much for helping me find myself post high demand religion
Thank you John for re-emphasizing that people don't *need* to do certain things after leaving the church. Sometimes I feel like there is a small pressure or expectation that an exmormon should start experimenting and doing new things the church didn't allow before. Things like alcohol, gambling, new sexual experiences, etc. However these can still have dangers and real consequences, even if their dangers were overblown by the church. Addictions, accidents, poor decisions, negative psychological impacts, hurt relationships, etc. People who have never been in religions at all still have their lives harmed by those things. Personally, along with education and being informed, I think it's important to focus on healing and learning to connect with and know yourself well before making decisions to try new things. And we need to respect people's boundaries whichever way they personally decide choose. You can truly live a healthy and meaningful life both with, or without, many of those experiences.
Alyssa is truly brilliant! Part one broke my heart because I could feel how deeply she struggled and I found it amazing that she was able to identify things that were wrong at such a young age and despite not having anybody to model different ways too. This second part about her book is everything I imagined she was capable of contributing to the world and makes me so happy to see how she was able to produce such an informative and valuable book - I'm sure this is just the beginning too. Impossible to overstatehow remarkable these interviews are and I'm very thankful for having heard them.
Thank you. Very helpful. I’m trying to find a new community, it is difficult. Your conversations are encouraging me to accomplish this one last step of leaving the Mormon church many years ago. Recently retiring has made it obvious that my job was my community. Time to find a new one - community, not another job.
So grateful for Mormon Stories- as a nevermo raised in Idaho, the perspective these stories raise of purity culture torture, made my growing up make sense. Invaluable. I could never thank the Exmormon community enough.
Had to stop this at 21:01 to say that it amazes me that those still in mormonism have so little faith in their own commitment to the church that an outsider could/would be "poison" and threaten that faith just by being. Mind blowing. Just an fyi, I'm the great, great, great granddaughter of JDT McAllister and his Lenzi wife and a never-mo (on my maternal side-oldest daughter of the oldest daughter down the line).
This is so bizarre, i graduated from lds 15 years ago and knew there would eventually be a massive surge of people leaving but hearing Alyssa talk about her experience just shows so clearly that even very orthodox lds are now ditching the fallacy of lds dogma
Her book is genius, and so necessary for people looking to transition out of the church. I wish I could’ve had this to give my family as they were leaving. ❤️
This is one of my favorite episodes in a LONNNNNG time. My husband and I watched the Truman show for the first time and were blown away. Totally a faith crisis movie/ ❤
I think you are a reminder of how brave the human being can be, despite deep conditioning as a child. You have proven that we have the power to make our own choices outside of very deep conditioning. Keep up your great work. It’s needed.
Well this is the third time I am listening to this is super. It is Super ! am 80yrs old not knowing v much re:M, For the longest time I assumed that it is a church and has lovely music. English is my 3dd language, my parents survived a concentration camp I was conceived in a camp in Teheran and was born in India, then to Tanganyjka at the foot of Mt Kilimajaro, then a camp in England then here. My parents cried and wanted to return for many reasons.Therefore, ethnic/religeous did not compute. Thr church RCatholic did nothing, we were alone. Evetually we visite the temple in its opening in slc, we stayed w/a family in Cedar City they stayed w/us. Your materal is great. My big shocking surprise was when you said that is was Communism by way of the law of concentration; the last missionary visited us was the last!! On course we were totaly hated Stalin etal and have a graduate degrees in Poly Sci and history ( Soviet type governments) etc, etc. This presentation I am vieuing for the third time You are graet in your presentations n
As a never Mormon, but raised baptist… going against “the church” is so relatable. I’m currently binging any and all Alyssa grenfeld content I can get my hands on since I finished all her current videos on her channel.
It was so interesting to hear all of these points laid out and to really reach a new level of empathy for people going through this transition. I’ve seen many talk about the transition, but I found it so compelling and eye opening to realize that for many that are Mormon or in other high demand religions that they are having to navigate much later in life in this transition what I remember navigating as a young person and teen that led me to be and choose the person I grew into. Having choice and agency growing up and why it is so important is so drastically made clear within this video. Amazing interview!
And the Truth will set us Free! & the importance of Unconditional Love & Forgiveness. Great show everyone! Lots of Truth here...versus the Leadership of the Corporation. 2024....the Year of the Open Door, where many things will be exposed!
I feel like I could have used this handbook myself when I left Christianity as a young bisexual person hurt by the narratives my religious community had been pushing on me. While much of the book focuses on the Mormon and ex-Mormon experience, a lot of the advice it gives is just good life advice for someone learning how to find who they are or who they want to be regardless of a religious context or not. As an aside, I am a Unitarian Universalist now. I find it heartening when anyone finds community with us, but especially those who have been hurt by religion in the past. I appreciate your reccomendation for people to check us out. Visitors are always welcome and I love when new voices and new ideas join us in our search for truth and meaning.
I loved these two episodes, I couldn't tell how long these were because it was over too soon. I'm a lazy reader but I will be waiting for the audible version of this book.
I found you're show recently and love it I love the information and fact that you just want to help people not berate people for believing or not. I was always a Christian I was baptized in a non denomination church when I was 23 I'm in my 40s now. I came across a pair of missionaries when I was living in New York like 10 years ago the area I lived in had a set a Elders and a set of sisters so me and my girlfriend at the time had the opportunity to meet with them for a few years so yes I've been through many sets and I still have long lasting friendships with them. I moved back home about 8 years ago and somehow the Elders in the area found me so I met with them for another 5 years in a matter of a year I lost both my parents 💔 I missed the way I felt all them years ago when I was baptized at my old church. So I took the plunge and decided to get baptized in hope to find it again even though I knew so many of the teachings we're untrue and my head was telling me not to I did it anyway. In 3 years I've been to church maybe a dozen times and a few holiday parties and picnics I just didn't regain that feeling. I still remain friends with many of the Elders and a few of the sisters that I've had the pleasure of coming to know. I know just share a personal relationship with Jesus no church affiliation no religion boundaries just doing my best to have a relationship with my savior. Thanks for this podcast I'll definitely continue to listen and as soon as I get more stable in my finances I'll definitely be supporting just make sure you don't buy coffee with it because as you know that's God's main concern is you don't drink something warm on a cold cold morning 😊
I hope I can communicate some constructive criticism in the kindest way. It’s honestly how it is meant. John, I understand your desire to appeal to as large of audience as possible in hopes to help the most people. You’re killing it at that. I truly believe because you’ve been so thoughtful, messages have reached those it likely wouldn’t have. I’m thankful for that and all your work and dedication to this subject. Truly inspiring. Having said that, I think a disclaimer at the beginning and end of the show stating something like, “these are in depth conversations covering topics x,y, & z. Please be open to different view points, opinions, stories, etc. our aim is to inform and discuss, and never to step on toes or offend.” But can we please leave it there? The 12+ disclaimers per show get cumbersome and very distracting in my opinion. Sometimes it feels like the guest is pouring their heart out, only to be interrupted with a disclaimer “hopefully that didn’t offend anyone.” It just feels like really bad timing to me, and kinda inconsiderate to your guests who are being so vulnerable. I know that’s not John’s intent, and that he’s trying to be thoughtful for those with sensitive ears. Just my perspective. Thank you everyone at Mormon Stories for all you do. This show has helped me immensely. I sincerely love and appreciate you guys. ❤
One example is when the subject of mediums was brought up John immediately gave a disclaimer about not disrespecting a medium. These are interviews where opinions are shared and if gets tiresome to listen to someone always saying basically “it’s just my opinion.” We know it is. No one require that you tippy toe around their beliefs.
As a teenager I thought my masterbation was a compulsion and I was so ashamed but the minute I understood that it was normal I no longer felt the compulsion! I wish I’d been told so much earlier so that I wouldn’t have gone through so much shame!
I appreciate this a lot. I was never a Mormon but I have a family member who joined because she had a crush on a celebrity who is a Mormon. I started to watch to learn and you have helped with that! Thank you.
My only issue with this podcast is that it’s simply not long enough! This was such a great listen and I could have listened to each topic twice as long! I really hope to see Alyssa back again on this podcast some day! I’ll take a two hour per tip episode series please 😂 with even more commentary from both you and Margie, because your insights are great and the discussion was so insightful!
What Alyssa talks about around 40 minutes is so important and impactful. Reminds me of a woman in our local community who has started a “self leadership course” and she is ex jahovas whiteness. I’m so thankful for people like you and her putting resources like this out into the world.
This episode resonated so strongly with me. Both of you guys hit so many points that were exactly what I experienced. Keep up this work. Incredibly important!
I left the church 30+ years ago and a few years after that I was in Vegas for a convention. My TBM sister lived there with her LDS family and I went over to visit for dinner. Upon hearing that I was staying at a hotel on the Strip my 12 or 13 year old nephew asked his mom: "Why would Uncle Jon go to the Strip when only Evil people go there?" Awkward. Simple example of how kids are indoctrinated. Her answer, after a bit of silence, was that there are evil things at the Strip but not all the people there are evil.
What a beautifully wise young lady you are. I so enjoyed listening to your story and the words of encouragement you shared. I am not in need of this book but if I ever encounter anyone that is I will tell them about it…. Thank you for writing it, I’m sure it will help so so many people ❤
Point 5 discussion is such a good example of when there is no education about things: alcohol, coffee, sex, etc that people can quickly make dangerous choices because they don’t know how to make safe choices for themselves. Growing up in a secular school with a diverse group of religions, education for these topics was emphasized. You could opt out but the education was available.
1:38:43 this is exactly what happened to me, the moment I told my mom I wanted to try coffee she automatically jumped to drugs alcohol and becoming abusive.
I didn't know what Corn was until the church told me about it, but what better a control system to create a problem and then say that they're the only one who can fix it. Once you see the control system that the church is, you can't unseen it. I'm surprised that intelligent friends I have are still in it.
A never-Mormon living in UT, in a family full of long time Mormons. This explains so much! Why the just smell of coffee makes some family members nauseous. Why some female family members just won’t make a decision on their own but rather wait to be told what their decision is. The shock on people’s faces when I tell them I was a high ranking female military officer in charge of making decisions for men.
It's hard for me as a never mo to imagine being trapped in the religion for so many years after losing faith in it. It breaks my heart to hear. I hope you two (John and Margi) are doing okay now that you're out
40:37 That is very brave and very wise. Martial arts are very much like religion. Each style is a sect, is a church, that claims to know it all. Bruce Lee re-said from Krishnamurti that the individual is more important than the styles, the school, the ryu 流, the the churches, the denominations. Look up on UA-cam a video titled. Bruce Lee and Krishnamurti I'll quote him. "You have to be a light to yourself. Not the light of a professor or analyst or a psychologist or or the light of Jesus or the light of the Buddha. You have to be the light to yourself." - Krishnamurti It's the theme of the movie Circle of Iron. Its original title is The Silent Flute. I'm very impressed that she discovered that on her own.
Alyssa:At 1:27:13 ts- There should be a grant for people who need that kind of therapist! In a place like Utah I found its tough to find non mormon therapists! And if it's requested we are viewed as prejudice
Such an interesting guest. I just ordered the book from Amazon...I am so thankful for my Protestant faith and am happy in my religion. It's so shocking to me when people express how their religions are about guilt, shame, and following rules. This is so NOT my experience, and I feel bad others don't experience the happiness and joy that I have found.
25:38 It’s so crazy how similar these high demand religions think. If you look at the Muslim community and religion, they also do the same with ex Muslims, like they did with Alyssa, they say “oh you aren’t a Muslim because you just wanted to drink alcohol” it’s so ridiculous. It’s like they can’t comprehend people actually read up and lost their faith.
The book was showing #1 in the Church list... but this morning amazon moved it to the atheist books group. I'm guessing the lds books group folks were ticked that Alyssa's book was number 1!
(Practical tip) As a person with pale skin (who got sunburns when I was younger), I'm like, "If you wear a tank top on a sunny day, make sure you wear sunscreen on your shoulders!!" 😊
I'm an ex-Catholic and a never-mo, but my brother was Mormon for several years. His Mormon then wife tried really hard to convert me & may have succeeded had I not been underage. My Catholic parents weren't having it. As someone who sat through "Saturday's Child" & went to Young Women's camp once, I'm grateful our parents put their foot down by not allowing me to convert until I came of age. I love my ex-Mo brother & support all ya ex-Mos out there!
Allysa, this is the third time I am watching this. I knew v little re:LSD identifying w/many outlooks, I just turned 80 and was a devout R Catholic up to my jr yr of hs. The Brother gave us a book on Auswitz (Oswiecim) OMG I never knew, I said where was God, they were law abiding people...that was when I became an athiest sic they would never talk about the camp, their loss of their son to starvation, being tossed into a m grave/my mother was looking and on and on. So I am an athiest (pardon my spelling E is my Third language at 80 it happens. Your presentations are clear, flowing, and v pleasent
As an ex-Mormon who left over 10 years ago, it's totally okay to dress more modestly if that's what you're comfortable with. But the point is that now, you get to do it for you because that's what you like or are comfortable with, not because it's being dictated to you to do so.
This atheist does not like the “ dressing modestly “ expression . I have never hidden my shoulders , hair , knees , while never dressing immodesty . No religion I know of can afford to be so self righteous as to define “ modesty “given what is known about these type of organisations.
@moniquedelaney7958 True! Maybe a better way to describe it would be "more coverage. " I'm not religious at all, but I prefer more coverage for comfort. I don't care at all about the "righteousness" of it either.
See how some women report how some men treat them , fully hidden or not
@rememberpratik727
"evil men" usually do not pick their victims based on what they're wearing. they usually pick their victims by how vulnerable they hey are, or if they know them personally and want to do something evil. every day countless women dressing "modestly" are victims of s3xual crimes. so to be honest you should dress how you want but carry mace
I quit the Mormon church yesterday, 02/03/2024, and very pleased with my decision. This woman's story is heart wrenching. Just purchased her book.
Soooo proud of you
Never Mormon here. Relatively regular listener. I really enjoyed this one. Thank you.
In my opinion, this is one of the best interviews you’ve done, John. Alyssa put into words all kinds of thoughts and feelings I’ve been sorting through throughout my faith crisis/leaving the Mormon church. Thank you!!
I left in 1989. I cried when I burned my garments. My biggest surprise was the loss of friends I had since 1974 when I joined. I soon realized they weren't truly my friends. I love the idea of enlightenment.I feel good about myself now. It took a long time.
You also have consider how much they have been influenced (brainwashed?) to believe that you are dangerous as an ex Mormon, so it is not only about the quality of friendship but the competing influence of the church to keep these people away from you. 🙁
@rememberpratik727problem is that is a lie. It's okay if that is the kind of god you want believe in, but that is not what the real creator of the universe intended for you. You are God and God is you.... And God is nothing but love.
I was shocked at how quickly my Mormon friends ditched me when I left the church. They were my besties for 11 years and I was always a super good friend. I didn’t even say much to my friends about the church. I just told my friends that I’m leaving because of how the church handled my child abuse. My friends immediately stopped inviting me to all kid play dates, workouts, friend hangouts, parties, etc. It hurts, but I now know they weren’t my real friends.
@rememberpratik727 the only one who you give an account of your life is to yourself. Because it is the thoughts, the feelings and the things that only you know about that make your life heavenly or hellish since the moment you wake up until you go to sleep (that is if you can even sleep) the big lie is that you are going to be accountable after you are dead, but that is not how it is right here, right now. Heaven and hell are in your own mind. You only need to be saved from yourself and only you can be your own savior.
What would I do without Mormon Stories and John and Margi and Alyssa? Sharing this way is such an act of love! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Ex-mormon teen convert here! I am in Oregon where Psilocybin therapy was just legalized, (with a licensed facilitator) and I have an appointment for April 13th. As someone with CPTSD, I've been so moved and impressed by all the research and testimonies of people like me who have had their life turned around. My brain was wired in trauma and Mormonism; I'm ready for some re-wiring!
I’m a Never Mormon and an Ex-Catholic but remain a devout Christian without a religion messing with my beliefs! Love Mormon Stories! God bless you John and Margee and Alyssa! ♥️
Me too!!!
Hq
Apparently you weren't a very good Catholic either because if you truly understood the Catholic Church, you would have never left. Just out of curiosity, what type of church do you attend now?
@@johns1834I’m going to assume that’s tongue in cheek? Haha
@@Mon-Alisa Never assume, it only makes a 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'.
About to watch this while drinking coffee with my breakfast three years after losing my faith. ❤so much love to everyone I'm so happy to enjoy the simple things in life and finding meaningfulness in my own life without guilt. ❤
Drinking a matching. Cheers🍵☕️
Alyssa is such an amazing person. I follow her on TikTok, and as a Never Mormon I easily connect with her deconstruction of her faith. I grew up in a very conservative evangelical church. I’ve spent 25 years deconstructing, but it was during a time when there wasn’t much in the way of guidance and support. Watching Alyssa thrive and use her voice so openly gives me hope for deconstructing women from every Christian tradition.
I am a never mormon, but I struggle immensely with extreme anxiety and perfectionism. I have been watching every single episode, live stream, and short from this channel for the past couple of months. I am stunned to see how my issues coming out of anxious survival mode are sort of mirrored with the struggles that ex-mormons discuss. Love this channel and am so happy to see Alyssa in an episode. I definitely plan to buy this book.
I have done so much work over the past 20 years I am happy to announce that I no longer have "church" dreams. Yay! Looking forward to receiving your book, Alyssa. Thank you for sharing you experiences and talent.
Absolutely loved this podcast. I have been a member for 5 yrs. converting from a life long devout Roman Catholic who was having a huge faith crisis following the announcement of the sexual abuse within the Catholic Church among its priests only to discover that the Catholic religion wasn’t the only religion that had been covering up these horrific crimes for years. I am now going through another faith crisis within the Mormon church. My calling as a Primary teacher is a wonderful calling. I love to be around children and intertwine with them. However, I have never had any education in the teaching aspect of this religion and am winging it with 9 year olds who know much more than me in this subject. I have done an enormous amount of research into the life of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon and no longer believe the Joseph Smith was a prophet and translated the Book of Mormon into English. I have compared it to the Bible and saw how easy it would be to change names and regions yet keep the initial Word of the Holy Bible so not to confuse people with a totally different story. Joseph Smith was a brilliant opportunist, who at the right time in history, was able to convince people of his visions and revelations at an opportune time where many were searching themselves for answers. Every time he found an opportunity to explain the whys, such as his polygamy, he would come up with a different vision he had , which would explain why he had 30+ wives to include underage young women. How do I teach a young group of children a subject that I no longer believe in? It is hypocritical and a lie on my part for which I am struggling with. My problem is that I absolutely love my Ward and the people in it. It has given me a social outlet which I desperately needed at the time of my conversion. I can no longer wear the beautiful cross my mother left me and asked that I never take off, which was told to me that I could wear it as long as I covered it up. Not acceptable! Just an FYI, I converted at age 68 and am now a very young 72. Alyssa’s book sounds fascinating but so much of it doesn’t pertain to someone who had been very devout for 68 years in one religion and converted to another one. I didn’t grow up with the fears and strict rules that the Mormon religion pounds into young people from the age of understanding. Yes, we were taught that sex outside of marriage is a sin but not deadly. The Words of Wisdom had me asking questions as soon as I read them. It says no hot drinks which ended up being coffee and tea but you could drink hot chocolate, cider and other hot drinks. What about ice coffee and tea? Nobody could ever answer that question. Even Elder Gong couldn’t answer it. We met him shortly after our conversion when he came to Knoxville, TN and we were invited as new members to go to a conference he was giving. He was amazing and truly reverent. I am of Italian descent and grew up drinking coffee and wine with my dinner, a very hard life long tradition to give up but I did for quite a while. I adore and love my church family which I know now, that is what is keeping me in the church but as far as my early testimonies, they have left me entirely and totally exhausted. When asked by people what religion I am I automatically say Catholic which surprises me every time. I certainly was not told the whole truth throughout my lessons and entered the church under many falsehoods. I am not blaming my sweet missionary sisters whom I’m still in contact with. They were doing what they believed in and I enjoyed every minute I spent with them. Everything happened so quickly that my head was spinning! My first temple visit was a week after baptism which consisted of baptism of the dead. Following this, I wondered how my mother and other family members who had passed would be feeling about being baptized into another religion, which would horrify them. I didn’t have a good feeling at that time. My second temple visit was one year following baptism. My Ward members and Bishop were constantly encouraging my husband and I to get endowed and sealed as soon as possible. I didn’t fully understand what the endowment was and why I would have to be sealed to my husband since I felt this was an unspoken part of my marriage vowels initially. My husband and I have been married for 52 years at the time of this writing. I was absolutely freaked out and was horrified by this whole experience and wanted to get up and run out of the temple halfway through the endowment. Twenty-five members of our ward attended making the 4&1/2 hour trip to the temple which, out of respect, stopped me. The only thing I had purchased for these events was a temple dress and shoes. The sisters had to take me and my husband to the shop to purchase additional items to complete what was needed for the endowment, including the undergarments which I have despised ever since, not knowing these were required to be worn always. I did wear them for a short time but had to change 3/4 of my wardrobe. No more sundresses, shorts, tank tops, etc. which were conservative in nature. These garments were very uncomfortable and hot since we now live in Tennessee. I just couldn’t do it. I do wear them to church though. I guess you could label me as a “bad Mormon “. Last summer I stopped going to church after I was released as the Primary Secretary (just an FYI, my first calling came two weeks following my baptism which was the Relief Society Secretary. I had no idea what the Relief Society was!”) because of my research and also reading and carefully studying the CES letter which many of my close friends from the ward never heard of and those that did just continued to claim it was false and written by those who had a vendetta against the church. My husband and I were constantly receiving phone calls and texts from members inquiring as to what was happening and if they could be of any help to us. I was becoming very anxious on top of the anxiety and depression I already suffer from and wanted to be left alone to work out my issues, which I politely and respectfully hinted. I know this is long and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Long story short, I am back at church, but under false pretenses. I just don’t know where to go and how to leave respectfully and without hurting those I love so dearly in our ward who have shown us nothing but love and acceptance. It is tearing me apart. Just know that my faith and love for Heavenly Father, Our Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost will never waver. I will always believe and defend. John, I love your podcasts and try not to miss any. Most of them I see in replay, like this one. I started watching it live but finished today. I have so much respect for you and your associates who join you frequently. Thank you for what you do and bring to your followers. Again congratulations to Alyssa and I’m sure her book will be very successful. Much love ❤️❤️
It's too bad you can't be honest with those you love.
I’ve been honest but was asked to come back because so many have doubts at times . I have talked with those who are close and they think it will resolve. They don’t understand because they did not spend 68 years in a religion that they never thought to convert to another religion only to find that it wasn’t what you thought. Mormonism is their life! Hats off to the woman who tossed her shrugs!
Thank you for your detailed descriptions. The most important suggestion is to do whatever is best for you. This is why John neither condones one-sided messages that everyone should leave or everyone should stay. Since you seem to have serious concerns about the whole narrative of Joseph Smith and Mormonism and are still looking for a community, maybe some other Christian community might be the best choice. Try church hopping or researching the different denominations in your area. In the US, there is usually plenty of choices. Or become a nuanced Catholic who opposes the misdeeds but still cherishes the tradition and culture. America is the land of infinite choices. Now it's upon you to make your own choice instead of relying on Russell Nelson or Pope Francis or anyone else really. 💪
boring
I hope you figure this out❤. Rooting for you.
Just love yourself enough to say "I won't be blackmailed or scared into believing in anything. I'll believe it when I choose it and love it."
However, I don't think anyone gets to choose what they believe. You can start to question what you believe and your beliefs can change but you can't chose to change your belief.
Alyssa’s point about Oaks’ good, better, best talk is spot on. It doesn’t matter how well you’re doing in Mormonism, there’s ALWAYS more you could be doing. I went through a time when my mantra was, “If I can, I should. If I should, I must!” While never being diagnosed, I would now call that scrupulosity.
It's so funny to me when a Mormon condemns someone else for drinking a simple cup of coffee, then turns around to gulp down energy drinks and caffeinated sodas that are much worse for your health with much larger amounts of caffeine. Such blatant hypocrisy all around.
This is my intuition as a never Mormon: while abstaining from drugs, tobacco, alcohol make quite sense,nthe value of banning coffee and tea is precisely that it is an arbitrary rule without any rationale. Thus, a Mormon can prove their commitment by following this perfectly random rule, proving obedience to God and the church. Similarly, the rule to abandon the word Mormon is a random, arbitrary rule, but this time it tests obedience to current prophet Nelson against previous prophets, especially Monson. By using the awkwardly long full name of the church, you prove that you blindly follow Nelson over Monson who ran the "I am a Mormon" campaign.
Exactly! I got the nerve to finally try coffee after running into my bishops wife at the grocery store with her cart full of energy drinks. It really made me stop and wonder “why is that ok and coffee isn’t?”.
Education is key. Keeping people and children ignorant, whether it’s about sexual health, consent, or basic facts about alcohol/drugs, can put people in very harmful/vulnerable and dangerous situations. Religions like this are creating the perfect victims for abuse through shame and ignorance. It’s unfortunate that adults now have to seek out all this basic information about the world at age 20, 30, 40, 50+ because of the poor education they received as a child and young adult.
Lol. I'm loving the whole tank top reveal. Only because I just threw every shrug I own in a donation bag just today. And as I did I said, "fu@& the shrug".
Over the years I had bought one in almost every color to cover my seductive shoulders. It was so liberating to commit to never wearing one again. Growing up in the church, I have never got what is so awful with wearing sleeveless clothing.
I was admiring her top, then read your comment! Yes! I like how you think.. I bet you have some super cute tops, wear them with style!! 😊
Such an intelligent and articulate woman. You really should invite her on again.
My morman mom always said to me: Your such a perfectionist in all you do. This puts a constant strain on the child.
I have donated to Mormon Stories in the past. I have been watching various episodes a day for over a year. You are very informative, professional and caring. I have never been a Mormon. One thing that I keep shaking my head at is that high demand religions push fellowship more so, so as to keep their members. I can go from one Christian church to another and find myself at home. I look for Christ in those communities and that is my foundation. God bless you all.
As a pagan I 100% support John's stance on mediums as giving up the power we have clawed back from the church.
Everyone can call themselves pagan and Everyone can claim to be some kind of medium and scam people it's all the same scam in the end
What is the time stamp on that ?
@@DeJaVuCa about 38 mins in. Go back a few mins for the point he's responding to.
Sure, we can all make up our own bullshit if we want to @@marylamphere2112
@@DeJaVuCahe also cautions people into believing them because you could be manipulated or abused. Look at the 49min mark.
It's just someone feeding you bullshit at the end of the day.
The beginning of the end for me was 16 plus years ago when my non LDS therapist asked me, “Do you think that your religion has had an undue influence on your life?” It was my entire life and blew apart spectacularly during a divorce.
Thanks John for adding your disclaimer. You are consistent in ensuring you are never suggesting people should leave the church. Your show is about information, and helps us deprograming mormons how to go on, how to make sense of the insanity that was Mormonism in our lives.
I can listen to you all talk for HOURS!!!! Normally it eoukd feel crazy to click on something longer than the longest Hollywood movies, but with you all i knew it would be interesting to listen while working on house projects!
I am glued to this story. As a 70+ woman I can relate so much. Raised in a mixed faith family, mom JW and dad a Scandinavian immigrant who did not like JW. So, a lot of discord there, then I married too young, violent angry man.
But MAN is head of household. Years and years and bearing responsibilities for everything needed to raise children and deal with the man before I realized enough self respect and clarity to detach from this person…. If we had internet and ppl like Mormon podcast 50 years ago, oh the places I could have gone!!!
Alyssa, you are a deep thinker like me. “If the church isn’t true, WHEN would you want to know?”
I wish I had learned this as young as possible….at least by my teens, and no later! Too many choices in life were based on the beliefs of this religion. And, the way they ‘program’ us into thinking neurotically, that we are never enough. There are members that claim that they don’t do that…..um, THEY DO! That’s why Utah has the most teens and women on antidepressants! We never feel that we are good enough. Always striving for perfection.
Brava! Personally love the long episodes, and the coverage of Alyssa’s book definitely required the time and depth you gave it. Much appreciated!
The research, wisdom and knowledge Alysa brings to every one of here episodes goes way above and beyond priceless.
Alyssa, John and Margie's comments were heartfelt, open and very honest.!! I agree, we are all totally responsible for our own SOUL'S EVOLUTION. It has absolutely nothing to do with how many members attend church, pay tithing, are endowed, and also definitely not about, how many ornate temples or shopping malls the church owns either. !!!
Wait. Shopping malls aren't important? 🤣
@trevanon7450 Shopping malls are like being at Disney World. The mentality there is to make the outward self look beautiful, successful, etc. Whereas, Buddhist teachings are about meditating and making peace with your inner self. IOW You are the boss of yourself without anyone else knowing what you are really up to.!! LOL..
I hope Alyssa decides to interview people who left the church. I'd love to tell her my story!!!
I hope your interview can happen 😊 the more information, the better!
Good for you! And me too. I left that cult!
@@lisabrinkerhoff4706 That's amazing!! I'm sure you feel a lot better because of it! By the way, are you related to siblings Josh, and Heather Brinkerhoff?
Alyssa has nailed it! I am a non practicing Catholic & it is almost the same!
I love The Truman Show & Pleasantville!
I’m ex trad/conservative Catholic. I was in Opus Dei which is kind of similar to Mormonism. As a ‘celibate’ member I think it’s akin to being on mission for a lifetime. I was also in a trad religious order that was culty, akin in my mind to FLDS. Parts of Alyssa’s story resonated a lot. When I left this I had nobody who understood and was cut off. It was the loneliest, hardest part of my life. My deconstruction curve lasted 10 years. I wish I had that book at the time! In the last years of my deconstruction when I actually decided I was no longer Catholic I discovered ex Mormon internet. Just wanted to let you know that a tiny population of ex Opus Dei will find experiences in mainstream Mormonism very familiar. And ex trad Catholics will understand flds/preppers, in my opinion, and find your channel really helpful. Nobody in English is talking about ex opus or ex nuns because our numbers are so small and there is so much stigma so I wanted to thank you sooo much for helping me find myself post high demand religion
Thank you John for re-emphasizing that people don't *need* to do certain things after leaving the church. Sometimes I feel like there is a small pressure or expectation that an exmormon should start experimenting and doing new things the church didn't allow before. Things like alcohol, gambling, new sexual experiences, etc. However these can still have dangers and real consequences, even if their dangers were overblown by the church. Addictions, accidents, poor decisions, negative psychological impacts, hurt relationships, etc. People who have never been in religions at all still have their lives harmed by those things.
Personally, along with education and being informed, I think it's important to focus on healing and learning to connect with and know yourself well before making decisions to try new things. And we need to respect people's boundaries whichever way they personally decide choose. You can truly live a healthy and meaningful life both with, or without, many of those experiences.
Alyssa is truly brilliant! Part one broke my heart because I could feel how deeply she struggled and I found it amazing that she was able to identify things that were wrong at such a young age and despite not having anybody to model different ways too. This second part about her book is everything I imagined she was capable of contributing to the world and makes me so happy to see how she was able to produce such an informative and valuable book - I'm sure this is just the beginning too. Impossible to overstatehow remarkable these interviews are and I'm very thankful for having heard them.
Thank you. Very helpful. I’m trying to find a new community, it is difficult. Your conversations are encouraging me to accomplish this one last step of leaving the Mormon church many years ago. Recently retiring has made it obvious that my job was my community. Time to find a new one - community, not another job.
Thanks for saying that loneliness is deadly. Some people don't understand that I'm just getting to learn that as a newly divorced woman
Hang in there @christinahayes7205!!!
I remember you from the mission. You were impressive back then, and I admire your courage to leave and speak out about it!!
So grateful for Mormon Stories- as a nevermo raised in Idaho, the perspective these stories raise of purity culture torture, made my growing up make sense.
Invaluable. I could never thank the Exmormon community enough.
Had to stop this at 21:01 to say that it amazes me that those still in mormonism have so little faith in their own commitment to the church that an outsider could/would be "poison" and threaten that faith just by being. Mind blowing. Just an fyi, I'm the great, great, great granddaughter of JDT McAllister and his Lenzi wife and a never-mo (on my maternal side-oldest daughter of the oldest daughter down the line).
May Alyssa's book, help many people wake up to raality and make a choice of their own. All success to her for her efforts to point the way.
This is so bizarre, i graduated from lds 15 years ago and knew there would eventually be a massive surge of people leaving but hearing Alyssa talk about her experience just shows so clearly that even very orthodox lds are now ditching the fallacy of lds dogma
Graduated. That’s so useful
Alyssa is amazing, love this woman!
Her book is genius, and so necessary for people looking to transition out of the church. I wish I could’ve had this to give my family as they were leaving. ❤️
This is one of my favorite episodes in a LONNNNNG time. My husband and I watched the Truman show for the first time and were blown away. Totally a faith crisis movie/ ❤
Years ago, I used to watch Tori Magoo on UA-cam. She was an ex Scientologist who left when it was harder to leave. She described it as the Truman Show
I think you are a reminder of how brave the human being can be, despite deep conditioning as a child. You have proven that we have the power to make our own choices outside of very deep conditioning. Keep up your great work. It’s needed.
Excellent program. Very wise guest. Spoken from an x-mormon male perception. Thank you everyone.
Wow, I sure could have used this book the last 3 years or so. Thank you for doing this! 🎉🎉🎉
Well this is the third time I am listening to this is super. It is Super ! am 80yrs old not knowing v much re:M, For the longest time I assumed that it is a church and has lovely music. English is my 3dd language, my parents survived a concentration camp I was conceived in a camp in Teheran and was born in India, then to Tanganyjka at the foot of Mt Kilimajaro, then a camp in England then here. My parents cried and wanted to return for many reasons.Therefore, ethnic/religeous did not compute. Thr church RCatholic did nothing, we were alone. Evetually we visite the temple in its opening in slc, we stayed w/a family in Cedar City they stayed w/us. Your materal is great. My big shocking surprise was when you said that is was Communism by way of the law of concentration; the last missionary visited us was the last!! On course we were totaly hated Stalin etal and have a graduate degrees in Poly Sci and history ( Soviet type governments) etc, etc. This presentation I am vieuing for the third time You are graet in your presentations
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As a never Mormon, but raised baptist… going against “the church” is so relatable. I’m currently binging any and all Alyssa grenfeld content I can get my hands on since I finished all her current videos on her channel.
Never been a Mormon yet have been in a strict religion , thank you 😊
It was so interesting to hear all of these points laid out and to really reach a new level of empathy for people going through this transition. I’ve seen many talk about the transition, but I found it so compelling and eye opening to realize that for many that are Mormon or in other high demand religions that they are having to navigate much later in life in this transition what I remember navigating as a young person and teen that led me to be and choose the person I grew into. Having choice and agency growing up and why it is so important is so drastically made clear within this video. Amazing interview!
As a 41yo ex-mo I’ve never felt more supported.
Your reveal reminds me of sitting out in a grocery store parking lot on a Sunday for an hour getting the courage to go inside to shop.
And the Truth will set us Free! & the importance of Unconditional Love & Forgiveness. Great show everyone! Lots of Truth here...versus the Leadership of the Corporation. 2024....the Year of the Open Door, where many things will be exposed!
I DEFINITELY appreciate the long format... thank you!
Maven - So sorry to hear about your SIL. Best wishes and greatest sympathies for you and your family.
I feel like I could have used this handbook myself when I left Christianity as a young bisexual person hurt by the narratives my religious community had been pushing on me. While much of the book focuses on the Mormon and ex-Mormon experience, a lot of the advice it gives is just good life advice for someone learning how to find who they are or who they want to be regardless of a religious context or not.
As an aside, I am a Unitarian Universalist now. I find it heartening when anyone finds community with us, but especially those who have been hurt by religion in the past. I appreciate your reccomendation for people to check us out. Visitors are always welcome and I love when new voices and new ideas join us in our search for truth and meaning.
I loved these two episodes, I couldn't tell how long these were because it was over too soon. I'm a lazy reader but I will be waiting for the audible version of this book.
Thanks!
I found you're show recently and love it I love the information and fact that you just want to help people not berate people for believing or not. I was always a Christian I was baptized in a non denomination church when I was 23 I'm in my 40s now. I came across a pair of missionaries when I was living in New York like 10 years ago the area I lived in had a set a Elders and a set of sisters so me and my girlfriend at the time had the opportunity to meet with them for a few years so yes I've been through many sets and I still have long lasting friendships with them. I moved back home about 8 years ago and somehow the Elders in the area found me so I met with them for another 5 years in a matter of a year I lost both my parents 💔 I missed the way I felt all them years ago when I was baptized at my old church. So I took the plunge and decided to get baptized in hope to find it again even though I knew so many of the teachings we're untrue and my head was telling me not to I did it anyway. In 3 years I've been to church maybe a dozen times and a few holiday parties and picnics I just didn't regain that feeling. I still remain friends with many of the Elders and a few of the sisters that I've had the pleasure of coming to know. I know just share a personal relationship with Jesus no church affiliation no religion boundaries just doing my best to have a relationship with my savior. Thanks for this podcast I'll definitely continue to listen and as soon as I get more stable in my finances I'll definitely be supporting just make sure you don't buy coffee with it because as you know that's God's main concern is you don't drink something warm on a cold cold morning 😊
I cannot wait to have this wonderful book in my hands. ❤
I so value your long episodes keep up the great work!
I hope I can communicate some constructive criticism in the kindest way. It’s honestly how it is meant. John, I understand your desire to appeal to as large of audience as possible in hopes to help the most people. You’re killing it at that. I truly believe because you’ve been so thoughtful, messages have reached those it likely wouldn’t have. I’m thankful for that and all your work and dedication to this subject. Truly inspiring.
Having said that, I think a disclaimer at the beginning and end of the show stating something like, “these are in depth conversations covering topics x,y, & z. Please be open to different view points, opinions, stories, etc. our aim is to inform and discuss, and never to step on toes or offend.” But can we please leave it there? The 12+ disclaimers per show get cumbersome and very distracting in my opinion. Sometimes it feels like the guest is pouring their heart out, only to be interrupted with a disclaimer “hopefully that didn’t offend anyone.” It just feels like really bad timing to me, and kinda inconsiderate to your guests who are being so vulnerable. I know that’s not John’s intent, and that he’s trying to be thoughtful for those with sensitive ears. Just my perspective.
Thank you everyone at Mormon Stories for all you do. This show has helped me immensely. I sincerely love and appreciate you guys. ❤
Can you give examples?
John, this viewer is too picky and is just looking for attention from you.
@@rosiesebastian5207I agree
One example is when the subject of mediums was brought up John immediately gave a disclaimer about not disrespecting a medium. These are interviews where opinions are shared and if gets tiresome to listen to someone always saying basically “it’s just my opinion.” We know it is. No one require that you tippy toe around their beliefs.
@@rosiesebastian5207jeez just say you disagree...
Great conversation! I love the Dr Seuss analogy!!! I received my copy of the book today. Love from Australia.
What a fantastic episode! So many powerful insights. I went and bought the book, and I can't wait for the day I get to pass it on to someone else.
As a teenager I thought my masterbation was a compulsion and I was so ashamed but the minute I understood that it was normal I no longer felt the compulsion! I wish I’d been told so much earlier so that I wouldn’t have gone through so much shame!
I appreciate this a lot. I was never a Mormon but I have a family member who joined because she had a crush on a celebrity who is a Mormon. I started to watch to learn and you have helped with that! Thank you.
Rather than be shortsighted,, definintely glad I stayed around for an extended listen.
My only issue with this podcast is that it’s simply not long enough! This was such a great listen and I could have listened to each topic twice as long! I really hope to see Alyssa back again on this podcast some day! I’ll take a two hour per tip episode series please 😂 with even more commentary from both you and Margie, because your insights are great and the discussion was so insightful!
What Alyssa talks about around 40 minutes is so important and impactful. Reminds me of a woman in our local community who has started a “self leadership course” and she is ex jahovas whiteness. I’m so thankful for people like you and her putting resources like this out into the world.
This episode resonated so strongly with me. Both of you guys hit so many points that were exactly what I experienced. Keep up this work. Incredibly important!
I left the church 30+ years ago and a few years after that I was in Vegas for a convention. My TBM sister lived there with her LDS family and I went over to visit for dinner. Upon hearing that I was staying at a hotel on the Strip my 12 or 13 year old nephew asked his mom: "Why would Uncle Jon go to the Strip when only Evil people go there?" Awkward. Simple example of how kids are indoctrinated. Her answer, after a bit of silence, was that there are evil things at the Strip but not all the people there are evil.
What a beautifully wise young lady you are. I so enjoyed listening to your story and the words of encouragement you shared. I am not in need of this book but if I ever encounter anyone that is I will tell them about it…. Thank you for writing it, I’m sure it will help so so many people ❤
Really really great episode!!! So many good insights!
I probably need to listen to it again.
Point 5 discussion is such a good example of when there is no education about things: alcohol, coffee, sex, etc that people can quickly make dangerous choices because they don’t know how to make safe choices for themselves. Growing up in a secular school with a diverse group of religions, education for these topics was emphasized. You could opt out but the education was available.
1:38:43 this is exactly what happened to me, the moment I told my mom I wanted to try coffee she automatically jumped to drugs alcohol and becoming abusive.
I didn't know what Corn was until the church told me about it, but what better a control system to create a problem and then say that they're the only one who can fix it. Once you see the control system that the church is, you can't unseen it. I'm surprised that intelligent friends I have are still in it.
A never-Mormon living in UT, in a family full of long time Mormons. This explains so much! Why the just smell of coffee makes some family members nauseous. Why some female family members just won’t make a decision on their own but rather wait to be told what their decision is. The shock on people’s faces when I tell them I was a high ranking female military officer in charge of making decisions for men.
Alyssa, love listening to your experience and perspective, it is so validating for me. Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve ordered your book ❤
It's hard for me as a never mo to imagine being trapped in the religion for so many years after losing faith in it. It breaks my heart to hear. I hope you two (John and Margi) are doing okay now that you're out
40:37 That is very brave and very wise.
Martial arts are very much like religion. Each style is a sect, is a church, that claims to know it all.
Bruce Lee re-said from Krishnamurti that the individual is more important than the styles, the school, the ryu 流, the the churches, the denominations.
Look up on UA-cam a video titled.
Bruce Lee and Krishnamurti
I'll quote him.
"You have to be a light to yourself. Not the light of a professor or analyst or a psychologist or or the light of Jesus or the light of the Buddha. You have to be the light to yourself." - Krishnamurti
It's the theme of the movie Circle of Iron. Its original title is The Silent Flute.
I'm very impressed that she discovered that on her own.
Took a break from LDS Discussion to hear some more emotional stories and I love this episode.
Alyssa:At 1:27:13 ts- There should be a grant for people who need that kind of therapist! In a place like Utah I found its tough to find non mormon therapists! And if it's requested we are viewed as prejudice
I found one at United Way. She was objective so not sure if she,was LDS. Also they offered a sliding scale for payment.
I just spent my entire day watching these two videos 🫣
She made a great point (one of many) that we look to organizations to give us legitimacy
Such an interesting guest. I just ordered the book from Amazon...I am so thankful for my Protestant faith and am happy in my religion. It's so shocking to me when people express how their religions are about guilt, shame, and following rules. This is so NOT my experience, and I feel bad others don't experience the happiness and joy that I have found.
Thanks!
Alyssa’s book sounds informative for anyone!
Thx Morman Stories, we enjoy the programs.
This book is so needed!
25:38 It’s so crazy how similar these high demand religions think. If you look at the Muslim community and religion, they also do the same with ex Muslims, like they did with Alyssa, they say “oh you aren’t a Muslim because you just wanted to drink alcohol” it’s so ridiculous. It’s like they can’t comprehend people actually read up and lost their faith.
Thanks!!! John D! I love your insight and comments!!! 👍🏽
The book was showing #1 in the Church list... but this morning amazon moved it to the atheist books group. I'm guessing the lds books group folks were ticked that Alyssa's book was number 1!
(Practical tip) As a person with pale skin (who got sunburns when I was younger), I'm like, "If you wear a tank top on a sunny day, make sure you wear sunscreen on your shoulders!!" 😊
Enjoyed this so much thankyou! Will definitely get this book ❤
I love these long episodes! I listen/watch while I'm at work and it helps make my work day go by quickly. 😁🙌🏽
Someone in chat who will remain nameless was sure rocking the "men know everything about everything" vibe I hear is so popular in Mormonism...
I'm an ex-Catholic and a never-mo, but my brother was Mormon for several years. His Mormon then wife tried really hard to convert me & may have succeeded had I not been underage. My Catholic parents weren't having it. As someone who sat through "Saturday's Child" & went to Young Women's camp once, I'm grateful our parents put their foot down by not allowing me to convert until I came of age. I love my ex-Mo brother & support all ya ex-Mos out there!
Allysa, this is the third time I am watching this. I knew v little re:LSD identifying w/many outlooks, I just turned 80 and was a devout R Catholic up to my jr yr of hs. The Brother gave us a book on Auswitz (Oswiecim) OMG I never knew, I said where was God, they were law abiding people...that was when I became an athiest sic they would never talk about the camp, their loss of their son to starvation, being tossed into a m grave/my mother was looking and on and on. So I am an athiest (pardon my spelling E is my Third language at 80 it happens. Your presentations are clear, flowing, and v pleasent