Thanks for watching! Do you relate to any of these reasons, or do you have a completely different take? Let’s talk about it in the comments-I’d love to hear your thoughts. And don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe if this video resonated with you!
This is a controversial topic as most people think making friends is a good thing at all. I like to hear your perspective and I agree that one who has some good friends does not need more. All good things have their right quantity. Too much will spoil them. Having a glass of whine with dinner is nice, but drinking two bottles is problematic. Having too much friends means having less time for each of them. People are not collectabels. Someone else might need them as a friend more than you.
Hi @hermes667, That’s such an interesting perspective-I’ve wondered about that too! Having a collection of good people, even if it’s 90% great and 10% just okay, could definitely add richness to life. And maybe it’s not as black and white as I thought. I’ve had experiences where someone who didn’t leave the best first impression ended up becoming a really good friend. On the flip side, I’ve also learned a lot from meeting the wrong people. Like, I’d never know who not to hang out with if I hadn’t met a few toxic folks along the way. It’s all part of figuring out who really fits in your life. Thanks for sharing-it’s got me reflecting!
I relate -partly. I wouldn´t say I am afraid of letting new people in my life, but in recent times I get more careful with it. We played as group D&D and a friend (call him A) of my husband was inveted. I used to know him a bit before, because he played in a different group with me some years ago, but we lost contact. It was all fine with him in the group. We played some months, when I asked if he could bring along another friend (lets call hi B) to join the group. I agreed and B played with us for some weeks, but slowly all changed. As B got more confident with the group, a bunch of calm and nice people, he started to cut off others, he started arguing with A other plitical things to a point where they are yelling at each other. First I thought this was accidentially happening, but later he started joking about doing it on purpose and he did it again and again but just wenting into the topics they most disagree. He was distracting so much from the game that often little to no time was left. Startig new topics in his discussion even after the start of the game, or looking at his smartphone having to show uns videos which have nothing to do with the game. And A and B started also to boast with their possessions. Mostly about who has the biggest TV or newest smartphone. When A was around, B as well changed to the worse. I said it many times that I don´t like this behaiviour, especially the yelling and cut off. But I said it in a calm voice. Which showed to be not the right way to talk to such people. A and B where also inveted to the 30th birthday of a long term friend of mine. A really nice guy who struggled a bit with making friends at all. The party was on a rented boat with 40 guests and a band. Most invited people have been family or members of his political party. Really expensive. A and B had nothing else to do as to show that they don´t like the party. They did not like the food, the music, the other guests, which they don´t know at all because the refuse to mix under and talk to them. This left a little dent in my friendship with that long term friend, as I was the one who brought them with me. Later A and I disagreed with me confronting him before the group and putting him in his place. He got angry and left the group. B said nothing but did also not answer on whatsapp if we wants to stay in the group. He keept ghosting me. I responded with kicking him out of the group. We found two new players, calm and nice but I will not move on fast to make them friends. I would not say, do not make new friends. But take your time. And even more important: Don´t hesitate to remove one as soon as you notice him not fitting in your kind of friends. Don´t accept excuses and let them go on and on. If someone doesn´t understand a nice and calm reminder, do not shy away from confronting them even if you think it is rude. Some people will complain about but do not understand other words. A rotten apple needs to removed or it will spoil others.
Hi @hermes667, Thanks for sharing your story-it’s such a great reminder of how important it is to set boundaries and protect group dynamics. Relatably, this kind of thing happens at work too. Back in my old job, when interviewing someone to join the team, I had to make sure they were a good team fit. A personality like ‘B’ can really disrupt the flow-domineering behavior makes others hesitant to speak up during meetings, and that hurts everyone. I love your takeaway: ‘A rotten apple needs to be removed.’ Tough but so necessary. Thanks again for watching and sharing your experience! My big apologies for not replying sooner. We got hit with a bomb cyclone (a crazy windstorm) that knocked power out for a few days.
I'm still new but that's the second time I've seen that comment from my videos. Sometimes I wonder about the algorithm, but I totally like it when it goes in my favor 🤣. Thanks for watching!
Thanks for watching! Do you relate to any of these reasons, or do you have a completely different take? Let’s talk about it in the comments-I’d love to hear your thoughts. And don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe if this video resonated with you!
This is a controversial topic as most people think making friends is a good thing at all. I like to hear your perspective and I agree that one who has some good friends does not need more.
All good things have their right quantity. Too much will spoil them. Having a glass of whine with dinner is nice, but drinking two bottles is problematic. Having too much friends means having less time for each of them.
People are not collectabels. Someone else might need them as a friend more than you.
Hi @hermes667,
That’s such an interesting perspective-I’ve wondered about that too! Having a collection of good people, even if it’s 90% great and 10% just okay, could definitely add richness to life. And maybe it’s not as black and white as I thought. I’ve had experiences where someone who didn’t leave the best first impression ended up becoming a really good friend.
On the flip side, I’ve also learned a lot from meeting the wrong people. Like, I’d never know who not to hang out with if I hadn’t met a few toxic folks along the way. It’s all part of figuring out who really fits in your life. Thanks for sharing-it’s got me reflecting!
I relate -partly. I wouldn´t say I am afraid of letting new people in my life, but in recent times I get more careful with it. We played as group D&D and a friend (call him A) of my husband was inveted. I used to know him a bit before, because he played in a different group with me some years ago, but we lost contact.
It was all fine with him in the group. We played some months, when I asked if he could bring along another friend (lets call hi B) to join the group. I agreed and B played with us for some weeks, but slowly all changed. As B got more confident with the group, a bunch of calm and nice people, he started to cut off others, he started arguing with A other plitical things to a point where they are yelling at each other.
First I thought this was accidentially happening, but later he started joking about doing it on purpose and he did it again and again but just wenting into the topics they most disagree. He was distracting so much from the game that often little to no time was left. Startig new topics in his discussion even after the start of the game, or looking at his smartphone having to show uns videos which have nothing to do with the game.
And A and B started also to boast with their possessions. Mostly about who has the biggest TV or newest smartphone. When A was around, B as well changed to the worse. I said it many times that I don´t like this behaiviour, especially the yelling and cut off. But I said it in a calm voice. Which showed to be not the right way to talk to such people.
A and B where also inveted to the 30th birthday of a long term friend of mine. A really nice guy who struggled a bit with making friends at all. The party was on a rented boat with 40 guests and a band. Most invited people have been family or members of his political party. Really expensive. A and B had nothing else to do as to show that they don´t like the party. They did not like the food, the music, the other guests, which they don´t know at all because the refuse to mix under and talk to them.
This left a little dent in my friendship with that long term friend, as I was the one who brought them with me.
Later A and I disagreed with me confronting him before the group and putting him in his place. He got angry and left the group. B said nothing but did also not answer on whatsapp if we wants to stay in the group. He keept ghosting me. I responded with kicking him out of the group. We found two new players, calm and nice but I will not move on fast to make them friends.
I would not say, do not make new friends. But take your time. And even more important: Don´t hesitate to remove one as soon as you notice him not fitting in your kind of friends. Don´t accept excuses and let them go on and on. If someone doesn´t understand a nice and calm reminder, do not shy away from confronting them even if you think it is rude. Some people will complain about but do not understand other words.
A rotten apple needs to removed or it will spoil others.
Hi @hermes667,
Thanks for sharing your story-it’s such a great reminder of how important it is to set boundaries and protect group dynamics. Relatably, this kind of thing happens at work too. Back in my old job, when interviewing someone to join the team, I had to make sure they were a good team fit. A personality like ‘B’ can really disrupt the flow-domineering behavior makes others hesitant to speak up during meetings, and that hurts everyone. I love your takeaway: ‘A rotten apple needs to be removed.’ Tough but so necessary. Thanks again for watching and sharing your experience! My big apologies for not replying sooner. We got hit with a bomb cyclone (a crazy windstorm) that knocked power out for a few days.
UA-cam's algo is all powerful. All hail UA-cam.
I'm still new but that's the second time I've seen that comment from my videos. Sometimes I wonder about the algorithm, but I totally like it when it goes in my favor 🤣. Thanks for watching!