Trust me it is good new like you said at the beginning. It like a wise person once said: When someone toxic stops talking to you it’s like the trash took itself out.” 🗑👋
I am now 6 months post my discard. One thing I noticed that brought me back to the old me, was that the discard has been a very huge attack against my soul and my ego. I have loved this person so much with what I could have squeezed out of my own heart and I put away so much of my ego to make hers happy. The discard caused my ego to go wild, causing me to cycle through constant emotions of shame, regret and wishing that I haven't started setting boundaries. Wishing to go back to where we were a fake happy family however still got to see my kids. I hope everyone that reads this comment really think about what I type below: There are two voices in your body, the voice of your head (your ego, your story) and your soul. If you sit idly for a while, you can feel that you can stop the voice in your head and now your voice comes from somewhere else, your heart. Listen to that voice and listen hard. It's the child inside you that has been neglected for ages. Keep listening to it so hard and feel the pain that your soul felt post the discard. This pain will make you stronger and realize how much you've sacrificed for this individual. This individual that understood you completely but acted completely oblivious to your pain and weaponized it.
"This pain will make you stronger and realize how much you've sacrificed for this individual. This individual that understood you completely but acted completely oblivious to your pain and weaponized it. OMG YES! 'That's it exactly.
6 mths No Contact. So peaceful. Its like u go thru Levels... I'm good now. Blocked 🚫 on everything. Changed my number n i feel so at Peace. I sleep better n eat better now. I love me. Thank u for this video.
Your quote of "build a life that is so good that you would never *dream* of going back to the narcissist" is probably the most profound piece of wisdom I've come across in a long time. Those words will become my mantra. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Christina.
10 months no contact. He has reached out four times. Each time I have been so tempted! I keep reminding myself how painful the inevitable discard is. I keep reminding myself how he goes back and forth with me as he plays games and squeezes the pain from me. It’s emotionally traumatic and I keep reminding myself there is hope for a better relationship.
Fortunately for me I kept a journal throughout my 2 year relationship with a covert narcissistic female. The abuse began to reach a level I could no longer tolerate at about the same time I was researching narcissism in relationships. Angry as hell, I told her that I knew who she really was, cursed her out and threw her out of my house. Ironically, I felt lost afterward but applied the NO CONTACT strategy. To get myself through the next year and a half I took a second job that kept me very busy, but also had me interacting with many people in a very fun environment. The extra money helped me take a vacation to Scotland, but more than anything I learned to be content with my life and realized I did not need to be "with someone" in order to be happy.
You are most likely trauma bonded. This will be harder than kicking heroin. You will never get closure or answers. Take care of yourself and start the journey. It is SO painful it can’t be put in words. Don’t take anything they say seriously, everything is a reflection on their shallow self.
That is so true what you write. With covert narcissists you can't close the book and you will never get honour answers. That is, yes, sometimes hard. People who haven't dealt with a relationship with a covert narcissist can't imagine what you have been dealing with. I finished the relationship because I was emotional almost finished and my energy was so low. And I am happy now that after a year I feel fit, happy, confident and ready for new experiences.
Fortunately my covert narcist ex partner has no mutual friends because she really has nobody except her two young kids, her brother and her parents. Even no people at our work. Her colleagues all have seen her real personality and that is not positive. Further nobody she knows outside her family, it is kind of sad that somebody is destroying her childrens' lives and also her own life. Sad she does not see that for herself.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Jon Smith That was one of the worst things about the end of my marriage, the lack of closure and answers. I was with him for almost 30 years. He changed seemingly almost overnight when he was done, just like a stranger walked into the room and said I don’t love you anymore. I didn’t realize until he was gone that I was being emotionally abused, that he was a covert narcissist. He was done for about a week, and then dragged me thru almost 2 years of hoovering & discarding before I’d finally had enough. It took me so long to figure out what happened, who he really was.
Here’s a tip that is helping me a lot. It may sound silly but... send voice messages to yourself when you’re feeling sad/crying/humiliated/angry and as time goes by, listen to yourself (I use WhatsApp) Never forget those feelings, even when the narcissist is hovering or love bombing
I used a similar idea..made a notes on phone. I made the lists on days I felt good so on days I felt rubbish I could look at them to try and keep positive 1...listing all their negatives against the positives(single figure positives)like...selfish, immature, spiteful, egotistical etc ..I got to 56 and only 4 positives 2...a note to myself like your voice mail stating things like ...however low you feel do not reach out, you will feel better, dont do anything rash, just try to get thro today, people love you.listing people who stand by you understanding your situation 3.. .a list of things that affirm you done the right thing leaving them listing situations that occurred and proof you are not a bad person...mine was things like her female work colleagues supported me and know I'm a good person and acknowledge she mistreated me...anything you can list to stop any doubt..
Andrea this is so cool....i absolutely love it....usually i just let my alter ego carry on big conversations with myself...re assurring that everythings gonna be fine.
@@ninjamom3050 hey girl just stumbled upon your comment...hope youre fine after all this time....im going tru similarities, but im overcoming THANKS too these vids....stay strong...
Hello everyone! After a year I can finally say I’m “narcissist free”. I made the final discard (he was using me to cheat on her girlfriend) by blocking him on ALL social media. I also told him off and told the girlfriend what he was doing. As incredible as it may sound, she got angry WITH ME and just days later he proposed to her (typical narcissist move) so they’re now engaged. I dodged the bullet and let me tell you, you can do it too. I’m so much happier and healthier. You are strong, don’t give up!
I lived at the gym...I had to process the rage of all of the betrayal I was clueless about...also I didn’t self sabotage with addictions...I wanted so much to eat junk food but I gave myself one day a week and that helped to stay in my power❤️
If you lived with the narcissist like I did, try resetting your atmosphere after the discard! Get rid of or replace anything in your home that reminds you of them. Take it on as a project. It’s helped me 🙂
The first thing out the door was the mattress and bedding! Going to bed that first night on a brand new mattress and sheets that I knew nobody else had touched but me was so comforting.
Amazingly, my life literally changed for the better the second my narc ex broke up with me. It was almost like a relief. That's when I knew I needed to stay as far away from him as possible.
Same here . It feels like an enlightenment and spiritual awakening .It feels so peaceful to finally let go of all those toxic energy. I am so so grateful to God .He saved me .
It's been six years and I am stronger and better for the discard. I thank the universe daily for this. I know it feels terrifying, but you can do this, I promise you.
@@Saugasbiggestsav it absolutely gets better. 2014 for me. I barely remember being married and when I do flash back on some awful memory I'm so relieved I am not living like that anymore. For example, he snored worse than any human I ever heard and refused to let me sleep anywhere else. I would use ear plugs and then he would scream at me for sleeping through my alarm and make me feel like garbage and useless. I was sleep deprived for 18 years and couldn't really think straight and I didn't realize it. I thought about how I sleep on my own terms now and I could almost start crying writing this that I didn't know that sleeping was something I deserved. And I got married at 30. SMH.
@@Van-hb4gi wow thank you for sharing ur story, I feel the exact same way but with crying. Everytime I cried he made me feel so shameful about it, calling me negative. Now I cry so freely and it feels great. Thank you for taking the time out to write to me ❤️ you seem like a beautiful soul that didn’t deserve any of that. Sweet dreams from here on out :)
I fell into depression after the 3rd, final discard. Lost almost 20 kg in 9 months. There was a moment of awakening when one day I looked in a huge mirror at my workplace and I realized what was going on: I seemed to myself like a tramp in clothes 3 sizes bigger than I actually was. It was about this time that a friend of mine introduced me EFT (tapping) that helped me a lot. My "retail therapy" turned out to be an amazing way too to reinvent myself. I started to watch youtube videos about psychology and slowly but surely discovered things about narcissistic behavior. Everything started to make sense! I didn't even knew before expressions like discard, flying monkeys, triangulation, narcissistic rage etc. Also understood my attachment style and issues coming from my childhood. I keep learning about psychology and how to gain self confidence. So for me deliberate, cognitive understandig, self care, reaching out to friends and therapy was the way. We all deserve respect and being valued!!! ❤
I left him this time because I finally accepted he is a narcissist and I was tired of how he was abusing me and treating me like crap. But everyday is a different flood of emotions.
@@samia6888 I feel sad at moments bc a song, place or picture trigged a memory or miss the idea of us and the future but I don’t miss him, the fights, how he made me out to be crazy, stupid, emotional, an angry person and like I don’t have anyone but him. Life is peaceful and calm. I do not miss the drama that was him and or how life was just so hard with him. Now I feel good. I am secure and safe. I didn’t need him to create that for me. I have met some nice guys and it gives me hope that there are good kind men out there. I feel stronger as a person and I’m looking forward to what will come. Most of my days are good but there are some days I just miss the idea of us. Starting over in general is hard, but I’m not as emotional like I was 3 months ago. Each day I forget him a bit more.
@@ushapetersen5117 I hope soon you will be completely and totally over him and realize you made the best choice to let him go. I am so glad you are doing better. It is so tough.
Yes...everyday can be a struggle and sometimes every few hours there is a different wave of emotions. Today made 1 week of no contact - I initiated it. I've never done this before but I pray for the strength to continue. I hope for healing for everyone affected by these sick people.
@@TS-xz3he me either. Never been in an abusive relationship like mine or even knew what narcissism was. But I knew I wanted out and finally wanted it enough and saw through the games to get out and stay out this time. I really worked on me. You can do it. Stay strong and when you feel bad. Let yourself feel it and process it. Only way out❤️
Wish I saw this 20+ years ago. I couldn't eat for 9 months after the discard. I felt like it was my fault, even though it was for the best. Writing and writing music helped me, and I realized I needed to start over with new friends (who weren't mutual). My husband is the opposite of the narc, and I learned about healthy relationships and boundaries. Found out my ex had a brutal divorce (married a year after we broke up). Living well is the best revenge, focus on healing yourself.
I recently discovered to my shock and horror that my current roller coaster relationship is with a cerebral narc, like dating a cold cruel rock vs a warm nurturing man. OMG! I realized I’m a CO dependant and the attraction pattern 😱 it’s quite the whammy but this revelation is a blessing cause I Finally know wtf is going on and how to break this cycle forever 😅
I’ve only been w narcs but this one destroyed me completely. He had me so afraid of losing him even tho he w only abused me most the time. The good times got fewer.. he discarded me. And I’m living w him while he goes about his life like I was just a mosquito who bit him but he’s good now. Hurts so bad
@@Jezebel066 I'm sorry, you're hurting so bad and I can relate. I'm surviving a similar situation, barely existing at times. I've found that turning to Jesus, and getting closer to my family has been the only medicine for my soul. Focusing on what you're grateful for in your current situation, and nature seems to be soothing as well. I wish you the best, and send love to you while you go through this death.... Into your rebirth. Lord grant comfort and peace to this soul, heal their heart, take control of their thoughts, emotions, physical health and pour out your love and rest upon them. In Jesus name Amen
@@P4Eight oh wow! It’s only been 3 wks!? I am sooo much better now!! Feel like.. what am I sad about? He is loosing a really awesome wife who gave him unconditional love.. kept the house spotless, clothes clean, dinner on table 365 nights a year & a full body massage & sex almost every night! What am I loosing?? A NEEDY PRINCESS who ignores me, yells at me, then blames me for it!! Heck naw. The Lord has helped me heal. I’m still living in his house. Funny he was gone & came back. Tried the “I only said mean things bc you said them first.. so I had to tell you how messed up you are!” That he always does. And I usually just am so confused. This time I told him he was lying & walked out of the room. He followed me around. Then cried about how pitiful he is. What? He was just acting arrogant minutes earlier! Then he told me he’s out of my life, just like I always wanted! He is divorcing ME!!? Like. What? I knew it was an act. I longed to hug him & make up but didn’t. He came back days later making me dinner. He pets my head while I sleep in a dif room. It’s creepy. But when I am done, I’m done. I rem writing this fee of so heartbroken. Thank you Jesus for delivering me!
I’m currently going through discarding my narcissistic husband. I’m the one who wants out of this relationship. I’ve been through the worse rollercoaster ride of my life, and I’m done with it. If it weren’t my spirituality and faith in Jesus, I could not have survived. I thank God for his grace, guidance and refuge in my time of desperate need. I’m just so relieved I’m finally moving on with my life and going to live in another state with my son. Thank goodness we have no ties. Thank you for this wonderful video. It has given me courage to do what I need to do for myself and the people I love who care about me. ♥️✝️🙏
After 14 years of manipulation and emotional abuse the realisation dawned on me of who I’d actually married. I disconnected emotionally from him and he took it to a whole new level! I made the break and refuse to look back. The thought of being alone scared the hell out of me but after just 10 days my anxiety had eased considerably. Onwards and upwards!! We are stronger than they think 💪 xx
I have learned to not care what the narcissist or his friends think, i know what happened and i will hold onto my truth. I finally made some goals and i will stick to them. To make healing about myself instead of caring to show the narc that im doing better without him. To make myself necessary dr appointments. To do my hair or paint my nails because I enjoy the way it makes me feel. To slow down in life and take things at my speed instead of others speed. To be blunt with my thoughts and if that makes others leave then that's fine cuz i stand up for me. To not care what others think about me cuz i am 100% ok with who i am and dont need people to validate me cuz i validate myself.
With a comprehensive evaluation that includes brain imaging, there is no need for guesswork. Did you know that psychiatry is the only medical field that doesn’t look at the organ it treats? This means people often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years while their symptoms worsen. Because doctors don’t look at the brain, it means they have to rely on guesswork to diagnose and treat patients with symptoms of narcissism ADD/ADHD. It doesn’t have to be this way. The SPECT brain scans measure blood flow and activity in the brain and can take the guesswork out of psychiatry.
I'm only 7 days into complete no contact. But even when I have been doing things that I enjoy, I still find myself rehashing everything. I have joined a support group and you have a decent support system outside of that. One day at a time
I find affirmations really help like: 1) Some people will only love you if you fit into their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint. 2) You be you - unapologetically. 3) Do you thing. I post these all over my office.
No contact, counselling was very important and sharing my experience with trusted family and friends who were supportive. Life gets better, but its important to understand codependency and red flags in order to move forward and learn the lesson to prevent repeating the same pattern ❤ You are going to be ok and if you can truly learn from this experience it may even become a blessing in that you will recognise how to ensure your needs are met/improve your self care capacity. Good luck xx
Meditation luvs. Whenever you feel the negative emotions, anxiety, pain, hurt, sadness, anything. Allow yourself to feel them, don’t fight it and listen to a guided meditation. You deserve to put all that love back into yourself. Namaste my loves 🙏
It’s been one year since she left me. I’ve been trying so hard to heal myself and move on with my life, but this pain is so deep and my heart is so broken. I loved her so much!! 💔
tony kambouris: do you have any hobbies or interests that could fill your time?.. sports,hiking, biking, fishing,camping, theatre, movies, swimming, writing stories, poetry slamming, karaoke singing at a local club, sculpting, cooking, environmental volunteering, painting, drawing, volunteering at an animal shelter ( so many lonely, frightened rescue animals desperate for love, affection, kindness and forever homes), join a group that share the same interests as you and focus on the activities to stop yourself from ruminating and reliving the past. It's not healthy or good for you to continue overthinking, yearning and craving someone who does not love you. You are experiencing grief... and that's normal after being discarded... it's okay to weep but at the same time,use life as diversional therapy. The despair and profound sadness will slowly dissipate and you will eventually recover. Fill your own empty cup with your own unique life and self love.👍
@@kiraalialeeonfairythegreenone I know this wasn’t for me. But this just helped me a lot as I’m going through the 1st few days of the discard thank you!
Comming to the realization that the father of my children is a narcissistic is the most eye opening and painful thing I've ever gone through. The cycle of discard and lovebombing is devastating. I honestly thought I loved him, but im starting to think I just loved that he wanted me because I already have abandonment issues from childhood. I was discarded a week ago, moved into into my kids room for the 6th time, he started the lovebombing, but I refused it so he got ugly again today. I will love myself more than I love him and stay away this time for good. He said he's happier without me anyways.
Repeat these words over and over and over: I'M FREE AND I CAN FINALLY RETURN TO MY AUTHENTIC SELF!!!!!! This is very important. It is a known fact that happiness can not exist when we lose our authenticity. Anyone who has been with a bonafide NARC understands profoundly that being authentic is simply not an option when partnered with a narcissist.
Thank you. Some men get pissed at me on these sites. I tend to say it like it is from my point of view but I not only see this happening in my relationship but so many others in passing and the things I happen to witness with men and women. Women have tremendous guts. Women are something. I told my husband a few times before during times that he was not acting as a man of the house and I have to do everything. And it would be the same crap over and over again that I, the wife have to take control and take action because little vagina man is a pansy. I mean come on. I had said to him, ya know, we have reversed rolls here. I am like the man and you are like the women. I did not say it nasty just because it was weird for this to be the truth. If I heard that comment from my wife and I was the husband ( the man supposedly) I would have straightened out. I would have grown some balls to not have a wife perceive that. But my husband is a Covert Narcissist. I am trying not to let his sh-t bother me. Because it's something that is in your face and it's disturbing. He's done the most f'up things to me. Which there is no way I'm going to look at him the same, ever ! I have to tell him like it is and not have to sugar coat it .
It's hard to see how many of us went through this... these people are evil, its demonic, there's nothing good about these horrors. I can relate with the pain of the trauma bond, the one I was with was also very abusive and unrelenting, manipulative... it's best to not open yourself up to them again, you genuinely will regret it. I went through this way too often in the relationship and even after. When you see him, you wouldn't even say. Friends and family couldnt believe all the things hes done and said to me... you feel so isolated and alone because it's hard to fathom that one person would say they love you and put you through so much. Its irreconcilable. Love yourself, do your best for yourself even when it's hard... just keep moving in the same direction... until the clouds fade and the sun shines, keep your environment toxic free as well, any toxicity will derail and frustrate you. When you identify it, kick it out... and don't look back. It's hard, its excruciating, its irreconcilable, and it has happened.... you cant change that, but you can change the future. I read this quote once from someone, "when you are discouraged that trauma changes your brain, remember that healing changes your brain too". It felt like water to thirsty ground... Let's keep hoping together and moving forward. We are not victims, we are survivors, and we can thrive.
First step leave..second step ,where do I go and how do I pay for it? P.s. they leave you broke! Then the work you have to do ,the deals you have to make for a safe place (SUCKS)..your family and friends won't help because you left 4 times before! Your limit of help is low! Then you deal with the rumors he stats that ain't true! Then you realize your being spied on..family and friends tell him stuff that isn't even true..your alone...your tired...your scared he will find you and kill you...God has a plan ! Just keep going! Don't go back!
Thanks for sharing! The type and level of disorder makes a big difference in what will or will not happen after you leave... but fear is a very common (and very understandable) response in the early stages. I'm a huge proponent of focusing on yourself at this time, but it can also help to understand the disorder. Most garden-variety narcissists are too self-absorbed and focused on new supply to put much focus on revenge beyond a smear campaign. And the smear campaign is almost always more about protecting their own image. They can't have people believing your story because then everyone would know who/what they are. But if there's a history of violence, or you suspect you're dealing with an especially malicious/malignant person, do whatever you can to keep yourself safe. I'm glad to know you're out and working towards a better life. It gets so, so much better!
Thank God my mom is been there for me because I tried so many time to leave and this was a the last one... He you can hear him bad mouth me and it hurt me but im done
Hi, thanks for sharing. I can relate to the "where do I go with no money?" full time mom w/kids w/special needs, house in his name/was in his family......very few resources available...it's a huge challenge. I'm very grateful for the Common Ego though; wow now I know I'm not crazy.
Isolation from abusers works best. Doing something creative, again takes you away from the experience, moving through the experience, setting boundries works. Doing things for you and talking to people who truly care about you, again. Thank you for posting your insight, very useful for a lot of people.
After I just got discarded and was away for a while I started realizing how the narcissist affected me emotionally mentally and my ptsd ! I finally got a place of my own, I started doing my crafts again I was struggling at first but through the grace of God it’s gotten better! I have a friend that puts them on Display and her store I didn’t ever think that would happen again ! I go for long walks in nature and I exercise now ! And I’m learning to cook again! Thanks so much for your videos and help here God bless you always
I SOO...NEEDED THIS🙏🏻THANK YOU...IT WAS MY FIRST RE LATIONSHIP OF MY LIFE...7yrs...cheated on...manipulated...discarded..this yr!! IN MY TWENTIES.,.I NEED TO REBUILD MY LIFE
@@Ari-pb4uo I watched this video wen I had a complete mental, physical n financial breakdown! I took tym... I din rush... Now m in much better place... M much more healthier, m much more tenacious, resilient n 10tyms stronger... Preparing for further studies! Stay close to ur family n exclusive frens! TRUST ME...D UNIVERSE HS MUCH MORE TO OFFER! U DESERVE MORE... IT MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE NOW... BUT.. NEVER GIVE UP! IT Doesn't MATTER HW U FALL, ALL IT MATTERS IS... HW U BOUNCE BACK!
@@premabatin1001 I’m so happy for you !! I can’t wait until I am at that same space of being healed . Mines discarded me multiple times and I kept giving the benefit of the doubt that things would be better . I just feel bad for staying so long. I feel like I wasted my best years.. but I am done for good now. I love the feeling of knowing that others are healed. Soo happy for you ! I will take everything you said on this journey of healing. Thank you for your kind words & blessings to you !
@@Ari-pb4uo I can literally feel u... Coz he too discarded me multiple tyms... Cheated on me wit 3 gals... Flirted online! I was in a relationship from 19yrs of age... Till 26yrs of age! U hv a choice in life... Take ur time... Cry buckets.. Sleep... Eat... Face ur emotions... But take each day...
Thank you! I was shaking for days after being so coldly dumped and devalued. I run, listen to your videos, arts and try to laugh with friends. I am thinking of going to therapy.
Sculpting on air clay and meditation in front of the beach Healthy diet and books Some sport and shower daily Being thankful and praying a lot That what helps me the most ..
Thank you so much for these videos. I am coming out of 6-year relationship where I thought I was losing my mind. Luckily, I eventually saw the light and ended things but... 6 years. I am just recently discovering these tactics used against me and the associated terminology. You have been a big help in my recovery already. I actually have been taking most of these steps before watching this video (I am so proud of me!!) And continue to do so the best I can (even though there are bad days). But on good days, I feel like I am thriving and returning to my true self! It is really comforting and validating that I am able to see reality for what it is. For so long, I was told I was not emotionally developed but after watching this, I feel like I have already come so far. Thank you so much!!
I had to discard from my ex in a hurry. I really had to start my life all over. I have just cut off from him altogether he made me reach that point of no return, I have been listening to you on your site to help me not feel guilty and to try to find something that I like because it's been so long I don;.t know what makes me happy or what I like or want to do. I am blessed to have a strong family support system .
It helps to have interests, self projects such as learning guitar, DIY projects, hiking... so when and if you run into a narc -- (they will try to sabotage your interests, - own your work but you stay focussed on you. This helps to expose their manipulation, true intention of that person.) However, your already on track, healthy with a strong foundation. You know what they are all about before even getting involved with a friendship. Move on, no contact
it helped me when I admitted to myself that I allowed it. So I had reasons to allow it which were more important to me than escape and that the power has always been and always will be in my hands.
I made a mistake when I talked to my narc ex parents, sister and friends about how she treated me during our “relationship”. Didn’t know what flying monkeys meant at that time. Now they believe her and I am labeled the strange guy with issues. Best to grey rock since we have son together, don’t wish her bad karma since this is bad energy and just move on with my life...
i was aware that a smearing campaign had been going for a long time so i never approached my in laws. We have 2 kids together and he is using them as blackmail
i made the same mistake. i trusted my ex’s brother but i guess his brother is as evil as he is. he pretended that he agrees with me. it’s okay because they will reap what they sow.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Everything you've said is spot on. I wish I had known all this before, because I made the mistake of talking to mutual friends and now they aren't my friends anymore. I guess in a way though, through this process, you also get that opportunity to find out who really supports you and is there for you when times are tough. Those bonds you can carry through the rest of your life. The most amazing thing to witness was the narcissist's reaction when I set the boundaries, she was incredulous, despite being a liar and a cheater, she instantly transformed herself into the victim, and she was so good at it that I actually felt bad. I felt sorry for the person who betrayed me, lied to me, and manipulated me. I know better now. Pray you never have to interact with a narcissist in your life.
It’s insane that I’m going through this and reading that everyone else has been through the same like how . It’s so weird to me. How was he able to lie every single day and the whole time I was being manipulated and I had no clue. And he was my best friend. How did he just not care how does he not even care that in hurting so hard right now
one thing that helped me recover after finally cutting off contact with my father was putting the effort and energy i normally put into dealing with my father into my healthier relationships with people who give in return what i give them. it no longer felt like i had to sacrifice parts of myself to have love. even if you dont know anyone you can do that with now i PROMISE you there is someone out there who you can. it doesnt have to be romantic or sexual it can just be a friend. the best thing is experiencing true, unconditional love after having to survive with a narcissist for the majority of your life. most of what kept me complacent with my treatment was not knowing that it could be different in the first place. narcissists will convince you that they are the only ones that can love you because you are unworthy of love otherwise but that cannot be more untrue. I need you to hear this. your narcissist does not love you. they love that you love them.
I’ve used Grey rock and NC with success, it depends on the situation. This cerebral narc is new to me and I’m trying to figure out the best way to exit on the down low to keep his EGO intact in our tiny community. NPDs are only happy when we’re not which is good to know. My health is in crisis so perhaps this is finally my time to disconnect and truly heal ❤️ Making myself a priority is so foreign to me, it’s daily work in progress 😓😅 On another note, It makes sense to me now I’ve been conditioned to downplay around my mother without realizing why 🤔 it’s so twisted I wonder if I can ever feel truly emotionally and mentally stable after a lifetime of abuse? Can I break free from a lifetime of narc abuse....hope so! 🙏❤️🤞🍀
This is one of the best vids I have watched on narcs! You get into the solution which is so important. One of the things I've done since going NC is immersed myself in the zumba and salsa community. I am a professional dancer turned lawyer so I went back to my roots. It has helped me more than I even know how to express. :-) I hope this helps someone else.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
@@Deserthawk9487 For Zumba, I go to my gym (LA Fitness) for Salsa, you will have to find a studio. There are many here in LA but I have also found that the social salsa clubs will many times give a lesson in advance of dancing socially i.e. Class at 9 p.m. social dancing at 10 p.m. with either a live band or DJ. Give it a go! Try google first or Yelp. You will love it and get endorphins from it!
I’m sorry we’ve all had to live through this emotional abuse. Just know that their behavior has nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with their disorder. What happens is they only have the ability to see in black-and-white. The love bombing is because they idolized you. The discard is because they see you as something to destroy. They cannot see people in their fullness as human with flaws and with value. They are so filled with shame that we may never even know what we did to trigger the narcissistic injury but once activated they have a hard time remedying. You expose their humanness to them meaning that they are flawed which is OK we all are no one is perfect. But for them this triggers the core wounds. So much shame. They are not well and it has nothing to do with you. I really think that NPD should be renamed. Call it what it is reality distortion disorder. They cannot see themselves or others as they truly are.
Yes. You pretty mush covering all this well. The NO CONTACT is the key really, but it is not as easy reached on the beginning, at least for me it wasn't. Everything about this narcissism, has the origin in our own family dynamics. Soon, my attention was moved to that, I started to put all the peaces of this puzzle together and recover faster. It took me about 4 years, so this process was quite a long therm progress. But, on my way, I have met lots of so called "teachers", which helped me with my discoveries profoundly. Some of them were also Narcissists as wel (that was a bit weird), some of them were like me co-dependent or highly sensitive people ( Empaths), lots of them were spiritual (careful with those pretenders), but it all makes sense after all... The point is, to move on, overcome the fears of the unknown new territories... and enjoy the ride...;) With love, Igor (form the Netherlands)
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Blessed Mother, I pray for everyone watching this video that they are consoled by your gentle, loving spiritual embrace. Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
I have met several covert narcissists over the years. recently I met someone who thought I was going to be his next victim. I was getting over a relationship and the last thing I wanted was another relationship. I kept telling him *we are acquaintances not friends* even thought he would ask me often. The more I got I got to know him the more I disliked him. He lied for anything and everything. Unfortunately for him I stopped laughing at his jokes. I did not care what he thought of me. I knew he hated the fact I was strong independent woman. He discarded me I was super happy; however, we frequent the same places and staff have changed their tune. They no longer speak or acknowledge me. I hope I don't run into him but if I do, I just smile and keep walking
I was diagnosed with complex PTSD as a result of my narcissistic ex. We were together on and off for 7 years. It has been three months no contact. I’m ready to be completely done. 💖
It’s been months since we finally ended things but the most brutal way possible, after the most damage possible, I’ve been avoiding the thoughts and blocking it out but I finally admit today I’m still suffering inside
Not easy to talk with someone about this, I can't even make sense of all the nonsense that I lived through. This is like a drug addiction how can you explain the strong pull to be with a person that you know is bad for you? Huge pieces of my brain just got blank I keep watching this videos so I can bring to memory how it was to be on there. I'm missing the narcissist like hell, trying to get rid of it, and still looking for the path to find that guy on me that was confident, happy and smiling much of the time. Wishing so much for my mental freedom... Narcissism should be declared a worldwide pandemic and treated as a serious mental illness!
A mim tem me ajudao muito ver o outro lado da moeda tambem.A minha codependencia e razoes, traumas etc para a carencia que faz com queiras ficar com alguem que sabes q é falso,Forca ai nao estas sozinho.Abraço!
My ex clearly hurt me but she won’t say sorry because saying sorry would mean having to open up to feelings of shame and shame fucking sucks. So she disowns it. It’s easier to sweep those feelings under the rug and feel self righteous indignation and outrage at this other person because it blunts you away from the fact that you lost someone both good and bad. I think No Contact is a double edged sword. It gives the discarded people a chance to genuinely heal but it also gives narcs a reason to never have to open up to their emotions and take responsibility for their actions. And sometimes (like me) you might not realise they were a narcissistic until you’ve already been emotionally abused and discarded and gone through the pain of being no contacted on while you’re confused about exactly what you’ve done to deserve it.
Thank you, this really helped. I recently ended my 3ish year relationship with a narcissist…Im currently pregnant with our second child but I haven’t heard a thing from him. I know I ended it but I didn’t think anyone could act so coldly toward the mother of their children. I’m still learning
Hey Carly, just wondered how the rest of your pregnancy went (well I hope!) I am currently in exactly the same situation. 4 years into a relationship with a narcissist but only just coming to terms with what he is, while 6 months pregnant with our second child. He has had nothing to do with mine or the baby's wellbeing since I told him I couldn't live with him and the emotional abuse anymore. He still wants regular contact with our first child, but all on his terms. I am using a third party to make contact arrangements for that child, as I don't want any direct contact with him (it hurts too much). Does it get any easier?! I'm really struggling with the "grieving" process at the moment (although I do absolutely know that it's the right decision for me and our children)
Thanks for your tips! Definitely need information like this. Especially having kids with someone who’s a narcissist. I always mess up when she asks about my personal life or things like that…..then it usually backfires because she uses things I’ve said against me when I wasn’t thinking she would ever do that. Even after breaking up she was still finding a way to get to me that way. Definitely going to do the gray rock thing. No more talking to her about anything other than business as you put it.
I love your facial expressions. "and there's a lot of negativity." yes. yes...indeed. Thank you for this. You reminded me of how fun i am, without living on eggshells.
Mine left, moved to another state, to marry some other dude, which regardless of proof, denied lol. Obviously we'll never speak again in my lifetime but i am struggling with the death of the illusion. It's only been 24hrs of being out of my life, after a 10 month breakup cohabitation.. The ability to lie better, than I tell the truth, is crazy
So many things... I started my channel hoping to find solutions for a life, marriage, and income which were all failing. These things are all gone now, literally. I believed until today that my regret, depression and constant heartbreak were my own failure. I have much healing to do and now I see, because of your channel, that there is hope. And maybe perhaps I am not as broken as I thought I was. Thank you so much.
I've just spent a few hours watching your videos because I'm beginning to think my best friend for the last 3-4 years is a covert narcissist. I've learned so much about myself through this friendship, and my journey with this person has brought me to a place where I have self-love and self-worth. The influence of this friend of mine helped me to get sober and my gratitude for that will never go away. I think it's funny and I'm super grateful that figuring out my values and living up to them is what led to being discarded. It resonated with me very strongly (ie. i teared up 😅) when you said you believe strongly these moment are here to teach us. Thank you 🙏 Personally, I'm going to put some thought towards how I may have been neglecting to be more empathetic in my life because of the influence of this person.
Thank you so much! Actually received an email with the final (hopefully) discard while I was watching this. I was more than ready to let it go. Thankfully, it was only for less than a year, and I didn't live with or marry him. But that 10 months was a helluva roller coaster! We broke up at least 1/2 dozen or more times, and he blamed me always for everything, even though in the "hoovering" phase he'd apologize and seemingly acknowledge his part. Constant criticism, devaluing, his moodiness, etc. OMG!! It was exhausting!! Thankful it's over ... 👍 I've been in SLAA since a few months before we got together, and all that I've learned about love addiction since working the program, and the support from my wonderful group have been a lifeline. Soooo grateful!!
I'm trying to heal but my mental health has been exacerbated and I'm dealing with fear and paranoia due to thoughts of slander and smear campaigns. I'm trying to show them I'm strong, they mean nothing, but it's hard. Especially obeying your boundaries. Good thing is the complete cut off has been done!
He just discarded me. Jokes on him. I Wanted this to happen. Now I can work on myself without constantly being provoked and subtle emotional abuse. If he thinks that I'm weak,he's in a for a big surprise. I'm indifferent to the discard. I've waited so long for this. He's really playing himself.
This series on narcissists has been super helpful for me. Recently just realized my hovering ex is one. I needed to hear these things. Thanks for making the vid
Packed with much needed advice! Thank you, thank you, thank you. One of my biggest struggles is how to handle his friend group - we spent a lot of time together. I have been tempted to let on to his unhealthy behavior to some of them, given that we did not let on to our issues beforehand. Retail therapy is a real temptation. So reassuring and validating to hear that it is not important to be good at delving into a creative form of expression. As an artist I let go of so much of who I was and needed to hear that.
In recovery, surround yourself with people who genuinely care and get a hobby!! I rediscovered model airplanes and binge watching- like Christina’s videos while I do detail work on my toys:-)
Things that I found most helpful were music (although I stopped playing -for about seven years -I could still listen to music...) Art -specifically photography and most important was *writing* -I recommend The Artists Way Julia Cameron. I found that the best was to get over being discarded -was to "discard" or unload my life's story. It doesn't actually matter if no-one ever reads it -the point is that it was "therapy" for *me* If you're getting over such a relationship -and there are children involved you have my deepest empathy *get all the help that you can*
I have found a lot of 'self-help' psychology clips on UA-cam and don't find they have anything that helpful. I accidentally found you and I have actually subscribed because you are so sensible and explain things in such a humanistic way - and to be honest, are mpre applicable to my life than I realised. I thought my ex was mostly of a Borderline spectrum person - I see now he was actually more in the narcisstic realm and knowing I have a friend and a boss who fit into this - I see it all really clearly - and its hard to purge them all from your life if you work with a 'friend'' who I realise now but probably knew at some level for some time - was only a 'friend' because I am faIrly good at my job and he needs that to make himself look better - it has nothing to do with caring about me - As for my last relationship - WOW - I really got shafted on so many levels and have found it so hard to find 'closure' - realised I needed that from him - and now I know I really need it from myself. Thank you -
I guess we did a “ mutual discard” over a year ago. I stopped taking Valium to sleep after 20 years, both were like quitting a heroin habit... it took a year to feel normal again. But it is finally over, I always got bad results from family !! Nothing ever changed, so it was time to go ! Not open to physical violence , I drew the line when she threatened me with physical violence...
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Thank you so much, I have just had the final disguard, because of your videos I was ready and waiting for it. and there is was. Goodbye to 4 years with a Covert Narcissist and 32 years of serial relationships with Narchissists, Grandiose and Covert to discover I am repeating the pattern of the relationship with my Covert Narcissistic Mother. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, finally awake.
wake-up moment, about 8 years ago while driving one afternoon, I was running through my head several comparisons my x-narc had in common with another person I once knew. this other person had been clinically diagnosed by a psychiatrist as being a Narc. Because of the previous person, I had been educated and thought I knew enough to keep Narcs out of my life. Well, a few years later I was proven to be wrong. I got involved with a person I thought was free of the toxic character (behaviors) of a Narc. this is a long story short version! I had been blindly dumped by my x-Narc and like everyone else who's been a victim of a Narc I was trying to makes sense of her weird actions. So I started to go through several episodes of things that the two of us had experienced together. And for some reason I started to compare her with that previous Narc that was professionally identified as a Narc. And wah-lah the biggest Chill went up and down my spine, I could feel my hair raise and tingle! It was a shocking moment to realize how similar the two were!! I'll never forget that moment and place where I was driving! here is one common (comparison) fact that was near the same tactic or behavior the two had. both made up the most ridiculous reasons for having to go to the emergency room and both had to go several times during my relationship with them. Both were lying about the cause of ER trips. they didn't want friends and family to know the real truth as to why they're going. excuses varied for both but are in fact similar, the previous friend claimed to be experiencing seizures while my X-narc used different reasons for her visits like there had to be fluorides in the wine in her salad dressing that she consumed at a friends house, another ER visit was because of the fumes emanating from the plaster she had put up on the walls of her home and there was a third time I can't remember what she said. yeah, they're doing drugs and overdoing them. I never witnessed any drugs, because I wasn't supposed to know they're doing them. but since all this has passed, I think I got right! I no longer question what I believe are the real reasons. there's more comparisons, but I don't want this to be too long. you will never hear them tell you the truth of who they are and why they do what they do! It's up to you to do the work and realize what's really the truth vs what they display and want you to think and know of them !!!!!
My boyfriend discarded me again for the 4th time. 3 previous times, when it happened, every time I was going back to real myself, being calm, content enjoying life with my children and friends, he was back with love bombing , a day before the lockdown after 3 months since he discarded me, saying he knew what he wanted and it was me. And a week ago when I texted him to find out how he was feeling after "being sick", he replied me with such a rude message finishing it "actually I had enough now", I agreed and asked him to collect his things from my house. After he collected his staff he phoned and said it was me who broke up with him and it would take him a while to get over me. Two days later I saw him a new woman walking holding hands and him being so affectionate to her. I had a suspicious he was juggling two relationship again. I am struggling emotionally, the worse I ever have been.
I completely blocked him in all ways. We had nothing binding us together. We broke up in the first 10 month I went back after 6 weeks. We got back together and engaged for an additional year. I have never even driven by his house or looked at any social media in 7 months. He started drama by contacting my Mom daughter and grandkids (so rude). And wrote me a letter I never read. Occasionally he sends me a piece of mail that went to his house (that I already new about duh). I’ve never gone through a break up like this! I knew I had to get out and didn’t want to be with him anymore.. but the damage was done! I can see and feel the changes in my soul. I’m feeling better all the time. I had a wonderful therapist that specializes in abusive relationships. I’m still having trouble so now I will be starting EMDR for the trauma. This guy was 61 yrs old... he was a master .. I’m free but have flashbacks. I still keep learning.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
I’m out. I knew he was a narcissist for almost 2 years. I was trying so so so hard to change him. It’s been 3 weeks since we seen each other and He knew I was getting over him and he logged into my Facebook account. It’s hard because we have a kid together but he’s so narcissistic that he is going to lose his rights to our kid. All he wants to know is about our child when he doesn’t get to see our son. I denied him that info so he discarded me. 3 weeks later I just saw him again and flipped him off. I’ve completely blocked him and I’m done. He’s done with me. I’ve done so much for him and he just completely shits on me. I’m glad that I won’t be having to deal with him anymore. I’m still trauma bonded because I have an idea in my mind that i miss his body and kissing him and I miss when he says he loves me. But all of that was to gain things. Now he has everything. He no longer needs me besides to know about our son. I’m done. Very very done.
I stumbled upon this series of videos a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea about covert narcissist. The personality of the CN fits a person in my life to a T. It’s almost like a checklist. We are in our 70’s. I knew things were not going well for me almost 40 years ago but I never connected the dots until about 10 years ago. I’ve put physical, mental and emotional distance between us slowly and in phases. Now, we share a house and income together since both are retired. We share nothing else such as lunches, trips, church, friends or the like now. It’s not an optimum way of life but it’s better FOR ME than it was. Who knows what the next step will be.
I’m speechless!! 😶 I’ve never seen videos like any of yours come up in my feed before and today it recommended the gaslighting one. Well, now I’m on this one and subscribed and I just can’t begin to tell you how ironic it is that this came up today!! Ironic isn’t the way word!! And I had to stop this video and comment this bc the things you’re saying are just.. I honestly don’t have the words. After nearly 15 years, i had planned to end things today. On and off of course. I just can’t tell you how thankful I am for landing on your channel bc I’m telling you, I’ve been so scared of the where to go from here feeling. I’m going to check out the other videos. I just had to leave a comment bc I couldn’t believe how insanely ironic this was. I know it’s something more ❤️
I just started studying narcissism after releasing a female 10 years ago. I do not know if she was narcissistic, but am finding your comments insightful.
Christina, thank you so much for this. I am 9 months since the discard. I have finally set some strong communication boundaries (we have children together). I have also talked with some close friends and family, plus I have a great counsellor. I am stuck on the 'self-love' part although I am trying. Hopefully, I will make some progress soon....
I just started on betterhelp recently and I am sooooo sooooo happy that I found this video and this channel. I may have to loop this video as I just got my first discard from a narcissist about a month and a half ago. I need to make it the final discard for my own health (and yes, I am watching that video next about how to know it's the final discard). I want her back so bad. I'm hoping that this can be part of my armor in being strong enough never to let her come back if she decides she wants to
You asked for things I DID after the final discard that my help others. First I was the one that ended it sending the text clarifying that "this is NOT a relationship I want to be in" (his behavior got progressively worse since the moment he started his "dream job", his new lover, new source of validation and supply. A point here is I always had a strong core, ego and sense of self. We did not live together but 3 blocks from each other. I realized he hadn't changed, he was always like this but just did a better job of faking a relationship. And therefore this was NEVER going to be a man that could be in a healthy, relationship with a "secure attachment" style. It was always going to be walking on eggshells and wondering who would show up next. I accepted the pain I was about to go thru ending it. Awful pain, but the inspiration is knowing how I will feel about myself a year from now, knowing I would not allow this man I loved to emotionally abuse me. What I did to get thru it: 1- speak with my friends who knew everything and reach out and express how difficult this end was but that this was THE END. Not faking being happy. Embracing the grief. 2. Lots of swimming to relieve stress, interact with my swimming buddies, but unfortunately would see him in the pool as we are both swimmers. 3. I immersed myself in nature regularly even though I live in Manhattan; Central Park, Wave Hill, Long Beach a beach community jumping the waves for an hr, 4. Doing minor but essential upgrades to my home. Created better chi (good energy) in the home. Also painting a room gives a great feeling of renewal and refresh. 4. Letting myself cry, and cry again as needed. Not pushing down the sadness and the grief. Allowing it to come up... and out. 4. Going to movies at my special movie house in Manhattan, New Plaza Cinema with really deep, special movies and talk with the people after about the movie. 5. Made time to just be alone, feel the feelings that were there. 6. I noted I did not regret him being in my life. I was truly happy, but left when he his periods of toxic behavior and emotional abuse became more and more frequent. I stayed while it was good for me and left when is wasn't because he no longer could be bothered putting in the effort. His new "dream job" was his ego fix. I was less important. 7. I never ever took his behavior personally, asking "what did I do wrong" not ever! I only viewed it as, "what a disappointment that THIS IS WHO THIS PERSON REALLY IS''. This behavior was about who HE IS and I was so disappointed and grieved deeply the loss of how he was. But he never was that either. It was all a mask, to get supply from me and to feed his damaged self esteem.
Honestly I beat myself up as a good person, I was pushed to the brink and called them on their nonsense and it gave them all the ammo, and plausible story to end things and discard and blame shift me, and I’m none of the names they called me..they dish it all the way out, but they can’t take it..I still want revenge on them for trying to ruin me..
@Common Ego This was me - I made that fatal mistake - after moving out and leaving her, we got back in contact after a while and missing her (trauma bonds) so it was like we were in a relationship again. And guess what? I was then discarded, I assume when the new supply was found. And it hurt like hell and still does..
Thank you so much for making this videos. One day I will also feel well that he ghosted me. I had a lot of respect for military officer this one changed me mind about that forever. Thank you.
It is hurting like hell, i cant believe i allowed this happen to me, so much suffering and humiliation, thank you for sharing
I'm going through it to Bro we gotta stay no contact
Hugs it will get better. It's just hard to know they were just using you.
im struggling with this now too and i dont know how to cope
You got this
@@jjo5249 Keep getting educated and get support for yourself ... CoDA or SLAA ...
Trust me it is good new like you said at the beginning. It like a wise person once said: When someone toxic stops talking to you it’s like the trash took itself out.” 🗑👋
Wow! I have never thought in this way
Brilliant!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And once you take out the trash don’t bring it bake into the house!
That's a great way to put it I think I feel much better now. The trash is someone else's problem to deal with now.
I am now 6 months post my discard. One thing I noticed that brought me back to the old me, was that the discard has been a very huge attack against my soul and my ego. I have loved this person so much with what I could have squeezed out of my own heart and I put away so much of my ego to make hers happy. The discard caused my ego to go wild, causing me to cycle through constant emotions of shame, regret and wishing that I haven't started setting boundaries. Wishing to go back to where we were a fake happy family however still got to see my kids.
I hope everyone that reads this comment really think about what I type below:
There are two voices in your body, the voice of your head (your ego, your story) and your soul. If you sit idly for a while, you can feel that you can stop the voice in your head and now your voice comes from somewhere else, your heart.
Listen to that voice and listen hard. It's the child inside you that has been neglected for ages. Keep listening to it so hard and feel the pain that your soul felt post the discard.
This pain will make you stronger and realize how much you've sacrificed for this individual. This individual that understood you completely but acted completely oblivious to your pain and weaponized it.
Thank you, this helped.
This is Gold 🥇
So powerful! Thank you!
"This pain will make you stronger and realize how much you've sacrificed for this individual. This individual that understood you completely but acted completely oblivious to your pain and weaponized it. OMG YES! 'That's it exactly.
Thank you
6 mths No Contact. So peaceful. Its like u go thru Levels... I'm good now. Blocked 🚫 on everything. Changed my number n i feel so at Peace. I sleep better n eat better now. I love me. Thank u for this video.
Definite levels, and I'm so glad to hear you're in a good place now! 🙏❤
I'm happy for u...so much love and luck to u xxxxx
♥️
Me too it’s like a transformation ❤️
Your quote of "build a life that is so good that you would never *dream* of going back to the narcissist" is probably the most profound piece of wisdom I've come across in a long time. Those words will become my mantra. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Christina.
10 months no contact. He has reached out four times. Each time I have been so tempted!
I keep reminding myself how painful the inevitable discard is. I keep reminding myself how he goes back and forth with me as he plays games and squeezes the pain from me.
It’s emotionally traumatic and I keep reminding myself there is hope for a better relationship.
How are you doing now? ❤
Fortunately for me I kept a journal throughout my 2 year relationship with a covert narcissistic female. The abuse began to reach a level I could no longer tolerate at about the same time I was researching narcissism in relationships. Angry as hell, I told her that I knew who she really was, cursed her out and threw her out of my house. Ironically, I felt lost afterward but applied the NO CONTACT strategy. To get myself through the next year and a half I took a second job that kept me very busy, but also had me interacting with many people in a very fun environment. The extra money helped me take a vacation to Scotland, but more than anything I learned to be content with my life and realized I did not need to be "with someone" in order to be happy.
Beautiful, Congratulations 👍
@@lauren4434 Thank you!
So happy for you!
I did to but they got stolen
As MEN tho it is good to have a honest loving loyal beautiful woman. I just anit gonna be out here simpin anymore. That's all.
Go running every time you feel anxiety. You will be REALLY fit.
Lol honestly love this
@@krissiskloset1177 I did it. I did a whole lot of other things too. 😁
You are most likely trauma bonded. This will be harder than kicking heroin. You will never get closure or answers. Take care of yourself and start the journey. It is SO painful it can’t be put in words. Don’t take anything they say seriously, everything is a reflection on their shallow self.
That is so true what you write. With covert narcissists you can't close the book and you will never get honour answers. That is, yes, sometimes hard. People who haven't dealt with a relationship with a covert narcissist can't imagine what you have been dealing with. I finished the relationship because I was emotional almost finished and my energy was so low. And I am happy now that after a year I feel fit, happy, confident and ready for new experiences.
Fortunately my covert narcist ex partner has no mutual friends because she really has nobody except her two young kids, her brother and her parents. Even no people at our work. Her colleagues all have seen her real personality and that is not positive. Further nobody she knows outside her family, it is kind of sad that somebody is destroying her childrens' lives and also her own life. Sad she does not see that for herself.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Its definitely harder alright, dope doesn't at least doesn't gaslight you.
Jon Smith That was one of the worst things about the end of my marriage, the lack of closure and answers. I was with him for almost 30 years. He changed seemingly almost overnight when he was done, just like a stranger walked into the room and said I don’t love you anymore. I didn’t realize until he was gone that I was being emotionally abused, that he was a covert narcissist. He was done for about a week, and then dragged me thru almost 2 years of hoovering & discarding before I’d finally had enough. It took me so long to figure out what happened, who he really was.
Here’s a tip that is helping me a lot. It may sound silly but... send voice messages to yourself when you’re feeling sad/crying/humiliated/angry and as time goes by, listen to yourself (I use WhatsApp) Never forget those feelings, even when the narcissist is hovering or love bombing
Thank you for the tip. I’ll try it. I fee like I’m dying
I used a similar idea..made a notes on phone. I made the lists on days I felt good so on days I felt rubbish I could look at them to try and keep positive
1...listing all their negatives against the positives(single figure positives)like...selfish, immature, spiteful, egotistical etc ..I got to 56 and only 4 positives
2...a note to myself like your voice mail stating things like ...however low you feel do not reach out, you will feel better, dont do anything rash, just try to get thro today, people love you.listing people who stand by you understanding your situation
3.. .a list of things that affirm you done the right thing leaving them listing situations that occurred and proof you are not a bad person...mine was things like her female work colleagues supported me and know I'm a good person and acknowledge she mistreated me...anything you can list to stop any doubt..
Andrea this is so cool....i absolutely love it....usually i just let my alter ego carry on big conversations with myself...re assurring that everythings gonna be fine.
@@ninjamom3050 hey girl just stumbled upon your comment...hope youre fine after all this time....im going tru similarities, but im overcoming THANKS too these vids....stay strong...
Hello everyone! After a year I can finally say I’m “narcissist free”. I made the final discard (he was using me to cheat on her girlfriend) by blocking him on ALL social media. I also told him off and told the girlfriend what he was doing. As incredible as it may sound, she got angry WITH ME and just days later he proposed to her (typical narcissist move) so they’re now engaged.
I dodged the bullet and let me tell you, you can do it too. I’m so much happier and healthier. You are strong, don’t give up!
I lived at the gym...I had to process the rage of all of the betrayal I was clueless about...also I didn’t self sabotage with addictions...I wanted so much to eat junk food but I gave myself one day a week and that helped to stay in my power❤️
Good point
Proud of you. I'm 1 month out since the discard and I'm finally feeling ready to hit the gym. Love on myself.
Amazing! What an inspiration! Thank you.
Happy to hear this..those who think you are beneath them cannot win under any circumstances! Destroyers be driven away!!
I feel that when a narcissist discards you, their kinda doing you a favor.
Facts. I got money in my poccets now
If you lived with the narcissist like I did, try resetting your atmosphere after the discard! Get rid of or replace anything in your home that reminds you of them. Take it on as a project. It’s helped me 🙂
The first thing out the door was the mattress and bedding! Going to bed that first night on a brand new mattress and sheets that I knew nobody else had touched but me was so comforting.
@@liannehalleran129 that's damn good advice didn't think of it 👍
Amazingly, my life literally changed for the better the second my narc ex broke up with me. It was almost like a relief. That's when I knew I needed to stay as far away from him as possible.
Same here . It feels like an enlightenment and spiritual awakening .It feels so peaceful to finally let go of all those toxic energy. I am so so grateful to God .He saved me .
I'm experiencing the same thing.
Mine too
I was devastated at first but then a few days later I felt such a relief and this new found energy thank god
It's been six years and I am stronger and better for the discard. I thank the universe daily for this. I know it feels terrifying, but you can do this, I promise you.
Do u genuinely feel like you’ve healed? at this moment it’s been 6 months and I still feel as broken as day 1
@@Saugasbiggestsav it absolutely gets better. 2014 for me. I barely remember being married and when I do flash back on some awful memory I'm so relieved I am not living like that anymore. For example, he snored worse than any human I ever heard and refused to let me sleep anywhere else. I would use ear plugs and then he would scream at me for sleeping through my alarm and make me feel like garbage and useless. I was sleep deprived for 18 years and couldn't really think straight and I didn't realize it. I thought about how I sleep on my own terms now and I could almost start crying writing this that I didn't know that sleeping was something I deserved. And I got married at 30. SMH.
@@Van-hb4gi wow thank you for sharing ur story, I feel the exact same way but with crying. Everytime I cried he made me feel so shameful about it, calling me negative. Now I cry so freely and it feels great. Thank you for taking the time out to write to me ❤️ you seem like a beautiful soul that didn’t deserve any of that. Sweet dreams from here on out :)
I fell into depression after the 3rd, final discard. Lost almost 20 kg in 9 months. There was a moment of awakening when one day I looked in a huge mirror at my workplace and I realized what was going on: I seemed to myself like a tramp in clothes 3 sizes bigger than I actually was.
It was about this time that a friend of mine introduced me EFT (tapping) that helped me a lot. My "retail therapy" turned out to be an amazing way too to reinvent myself. I started to watch youtube videos about psychology and slowly but surely discovered things about narcissistic behavior. Everything started to make sense! I didn't even knew before expressions like discard, flying monkeys, triangulation, narcissistic rage etc. Also understood my attachment style and issues coming from my childhood. I keep learning about psychology and how to gain self confidence. So for me deliberate, cognitive understandig, self care, reaching out to friends and therapy was the way.
We all deserve respect and being valued!!! ❤
I lost weight to! What a nightmare!
I left him this time because I finally accepted he is a narcissist and I was tired of how he was abusing me and treating me like crap. But everyday is a different flood of emotions.
How are you feeling now?
@@samia6888 I feel sad at moments bc a song, place or picture trigged a memory or miss the idea of us and the future but I don’t miss him, the fights, how he made me out to be crazy, stupid, emotional, an angry person and like I don’t have anyone but him. Life is peaceful and calm. I do not miss the drama that was him and or how life was just so hard with him. Now I feel good. I am secure and safe. I didn’t need him to create that for me. I have met some nice guys and it gives me hope that there are good kind men out there. I feel stronger as a person and I’m looking forward to what will come. Most of my days are good but there are some days I just miss the idea of us. Starting over in general is hard, but I’m not as emotional like I was 3 months ago. Each day I forget him a bit more.
@@ushapetersen5117 I hope soon you will be completely and totally over him and realize you made the best choice to let him go. I am so glad you are doing better. It is so tough.
Yes...everyday can be a struggle and sometimes every few hours there is a different wave of emotions. Today made 1 week of no contact - I initiated it. I've never done this before but I pray for the strength to continue. I hope for healing for everyone affected by these sick people.
@@TS-xz3he me either. Never been in an abusive relationship like mine or even knew what narcissism was. But I knew I wanted out and finally wanted it enough and saw through the games to get out and stay out this time. I really worked on me. You can do it. Stay strong and when you feel bad. Let yourself feel it and process it. Only way out❤️
Wish I saw this 20+ years ago. I couldn't eat for 9 months after the discard. I felt like it was my fault, even though it was for the best. Writing and writing music helped me, and I realized I needed to start over with new friends (who weren't mutual). My husband is the opposite of the narc, and I learned about healthy relationships and boundaries. Found out my ex had a brutal divorce (married a year after we broke up). Living well is the best revenge, focus on healing yourself.
I recently discovered to my shock and horror that my current roller coaster relationship is with a cerebral narc, like dating a cold cruel rock vs a warm nurturing man. OMG! I realized I’m a CO dependant and the attraction pattern 😱 it’s quite the whammy but this revelation is a blessing cause I Finally know wtf is going on and how to break this cycle forever 😅
I’ve only been w narcs but this one destroyed me completely. He had me so afraid of losing him even tho he w only abused me most the time. The good times got fewer.. he discarded me. And I’m living w him while he goes about his life like I was just a mosquito who bit him but he’s good now. Hurts so bad
@@Jezebel066 I'm sorry, you're hurting so bad and I can relate. I'm surviving a similar situation, barely existing at times. I've found that turning to Jesus, and getting closer to my family has been the only medicine for my soul. Focusing on what you're grateful for in your current situation, and nature seems to be soothing as well. I wish you the best, and send love to you while you go through this death.... Into your rebirth. Lord grant comfort and peace to this soul, heal their heart, take control of their thoughts, emotions, physical health and pour out your love and rest upon them. In Jesus name Amen
@@P4Eight oh wow! It’s only been 3 wks!? I am sooo much better now!! Feel like.. what am I sad about? He is loosing a really awesome wife who gave him unconditional love.. kept the house spotless, clothes clean, dinner on table 365 nights a year & a full body massage & sex almost every night! What am I loosing?? A NEEDY PRINCESS who ignores me, yells at me, then blames me for it!! Heck naw. The Lord has helped me heal. I’m still living in his house. Funny he was gone & came back. Tried the “I only said mean things bc you said them first.. so I had to tell you how messed up you are!” That he always does. And I usually just am so confused. This time I told him he was lying & walked out of the room. He followed me around. Then cried about how pitiful he is. What? He was just acting arrogant minutes earlier! Then he told me he’s out of my life, just like I always wanted! He is divorcing ME!!? Like. What? I knew it was an act. I longed to hug him & make up but didn’t. He came back days later making me dinner. He pets my head while I sleep in a dif room. It’s creepy. But when I am done, I’m done. I rem writing this fee of so heartbroken. Thank you Jesus for delivering me!
I’m currently going through discarding my narcissistic husband. I’m the one who wants out of this relationship. I’ve been through the worse rollercoaster ride of my life, and I’m done with it. If it weren’t my spirituality and faith in Jesus, I could not have survived. I thank God for his grace, guidance and refuge in my time of desperate need. I’m just so relieved I’m finally moving on with my life and going to live in another state with my son. Thank goodness we have no ties. Thank you for this wonderful video. It has given me courage to do what I need to do for myself and the people I love who care about me. ♥️✝️🙏
After 14 years of manipulation and emotional abuse the realisation dawned on me of who I’d actually married. I disconnected emotionally from him and he took it to a whole new level! I made the break and refuse to look back. The thought of being alone scared the hell out of me but after just 10 days my anxiety had eased considerably. Onwards and upwards!! We are stronger than they think 💪 xx
I went back after initiating no contact and was in another abusive cycle for 8 months- i finally learned about the truama bond.
I have learned to not care what the narcissist or his friends think, i know what happened and i will hold onto my truth. I finally made some goals and i will stick to them. To make healing about myself instead of caring to show the narc that im doing better without him. To make myself necessary dr appointments. To do my hair or paint my nails because I enjoy the way it makes me feel. To slow down in life and take things at my speed instead of others speed. To be blunt with my thoughts and if that makes others leave then that's fine cuz i stand up for me. To not care what others think about me cuz i am 100% ok with who i am and dont need people to validate me cuz i validate myself.
With a comprehensive evaluation that includes brain imaging, there is no need for guesswork. Did you know that psychiatry is the only medical field that doesn’t look at the organ it treats? This means people often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years while their symptoms worsen. Because doctors don’t look at the brain, it means they have to rely on guesswork to diagnose and treat patients with symptoms of narcissism ADD/ADHD. It doesn’t have to be this way. The SPECT brain scans measure blood flow and activity in the brain and can take the guesswork out of psychiatry.
I'm only 7 days into complete no contact. But even when I have been doing things that I enjoy, I still find myself rehashing everything. I have joined a support group and you have a decent support system outside of that. One day at a time
2.5 years later and I'm still barely willing to live. I can't believe my person did this to me.
I understand the pain, but at some point you have to realize that anyone who does that to you is not worth losing the will to live.
I find affirmations really help like: 1) Some people will only love you if you fit into their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint. 2) You be you - unapologetically. 3) Do you thing. I post these all over my office.
Burn every bridge possible!!! And run.
No contact, counselling was very important and sharing my experience with trusted family and friends who were supportive. Life gets better, but its important to understand codependency and red flags in order to move forward and learn the lesson to prevent repeating the same pattern ❤ You are going to be ok and if you can truly learn from this experience it may even become a blessing in that you will recognise how to ensure your needs are met/improve your self care capacity. Good luck xx
Meditation luvs. Whenever you feel the negative emotions, anxiety, pain, hurt, sadness, anything. Allow yourself to feel them, don’t fight it and listen to a guided meditation. You deserve to put all that love back into yourself. Namaste my loves 🙏
It’s been one year since she left me. I’ve been trying so hard to heal myself and move on with my life, but this pain is so deep and my heart is so broken. I loved her so much!! 💔
tony kambouris: do you have any hobbies or interests that could fill your time?.. sports,hiking, biking, fishing,camping, theatre, movies, swimming, writing stories, poetry slamming, karaoke singing at a local club, sculpting, cooking, environmental volunteering, painting, drawing, volunteering at an animal shelter ( so many lonely, frightened rescue animals desperate for love, affection, kindness and forever homes), join a group that share the same interests as you and focus on the activities to stop yourself from ruminating and reliving the past. It's not healthy or good for you to continue overthinking, yearning and craving someone who does not love you. You are experiencing grief... and that's normal after being discarded... it's okay to weep but at the same time,use life as diversional therapy. The despair and profound sadness will slowly dissipate and you will eventually recover. Fill your own empty cup with your own unique life and self love.👍
@@kiraalialeeonfairythegreenone I know this wasn’t for me. But this just helped me a lot as I’m going through the 1st few days of the discard thank you!
You didn't talk about the body cravings. I miss his touch, and nobody else compares. That addiction is real.
Comming to the realization that the father of my children is a narcissistic is the most eye opening and painful thing I've ever gone through. The cycle of discard and lovebombing is devastating. I honestly thought I loved him, but im starting to think I just loved that he wanted me because I already have abandonment issues from childhood. I was discarded a week ago, moved into into my kids room for the 6th time, he started the lovebombing, but I refused it so he got ugly again today. I will love myself more than I love him and stay away this time for good. He said he's happier without me anyways.
Repeat these words over and over and over: I'M FREE AND I CAN FINALLY RETURN TO MY AUTHENTIC SELF!!!!!! This is very important. It is a known fact that happiness can not exist when we lose our authenticity. Anyone who has been with a bonafide NARC understands profoundly that being authentic is simply not an option when partnered with a narcissist.
💯
I've had to detach myself emotionally from TWO narcs in my life and it's def a work in progress!
They have GIGANTIC EGOS to cover all of that insecurity...
True!
Victoria
No balls. They are the women in the relationship
Thank you. Some men get pissed at me on these sites. I tend to say it like it is from my point of view but I not only see this happening in my relationship but so many others in passing and the things I happen to witness with men and women. Women have tremendous guts. Women are something. I told my husband a few times before during times that he was not acting as a man of the house and I have to do everything. And it would be the same crap over and over again that I, the wife have to take control and take action because little vagina man is a pansy. I mean come on.
I had said to him, ya know, we have reversed rolls here. I am like the man and you are like the women. I did not say it nasty just because it was weird for this to be the truth. If I heard that comment from my wife and I was the husband ( the man supposedly)
I would have straightened out. I would have grown some balls to not have a wife perceive that. But my husband is a Covert Narcissist. I am trying not to let his sh-t bother me. Because it's something that is in your face and it's disturbing. He's done the most f'up things to me. Which there is no way I'm going to look at him the same, ever ! I have to tell him like it is and not have to sugar coat it .
@@nd612 You're saying women have guts etc yet use female analogy to insult the male and make him feel weak. What does that say about your viewpoint?
@@psycherevivedby
No
It's hard to see how many of us went through this... these people are evil, its demonic, there's nothing good about these horrors.
I can relate with the pain of the trauma bond, the one I was with was also very abusive and unrelenting, manipulative... it's best to not open yourself up to them again, you genuinely will regret it. I went through this way too often in the relationship and even after.
When you see him, you wouldn't even say. Friends and family couldnt believe all the things hes done and said to me... you feel so isolated and alone because it's hard to fathom that one person would say they love you and put you through so much. Its irreconcilable.
Love yourself, do your best for yourself even when it's hard... just keep moving in the same direction... until the clouds fade and the sun shines, keep your environment toxic free as well, any toxicity will derail and frustrate you. When you identify it, kick it out... and don't look back.
It's hard, its excruciating, its irreconcilable, and it has happened.... you cant change that, but you can change the future.
I read this quote once from someone, "when you are discouraged that trauma changes your brain, remember that healing changes your brain too". It felt like water to thirsty ground...
Let's keep hoping together and moving forward. We are not victims, we are survivors, and we can thrive.
First step leave..second step ,where do I go and how do I pay for it? P.s. they leave you broke! Then the work you have to do ,the deals you have to make for a safe place (SUCKS)..your family and friends won't help because you left 4 times before! Your limit of help is low! Then you deal with the rumors he stats that ain't true! Then you realize your being spied on..family and friends tell him stuff that isn't even true..your alone...your tired...your scared he will find you and kill you...God has a plan ! Just keep going! Don't go back!
Thanks for sharing! The type and level of disorder makes a big difference in what will or will not happen after you leave... but fear is a very common (and very understandable) response in the early stages.
I'm a huge proponent of focusing on yourself at this time, but it can also help to understand the disorder. Most garden-variety narcissists are too self-absorbed and focused on new supply to put much focus on revenge beyond a smear campaign. And the smear campaign is almost always more about protecting their own image. They can't have people believing your story because then everyone would know who/what they are.
But if there's a history of violence, or you suspect you're dealing with an especially malicious/malignant person, do whatever you can to keep yourself safe.
I'm glad to know you're out and working towards a better life. It gets so, so much better!
I agree with everything you said! I went through it exactly like that!
God bless you!❤️
Thank God my mom is been there for me because I tried so many time to leave and this was a the last one... He you can hear him bad mouth me and it hurt me but im done
Hi, thanks for sharing. I can relate to the "where do I go with no money?" full time mom w/kids w/special needs, house in his name/was in his family......very few resources available...it's a huge challenge. I'm very grateful for the Common Ego though; wow now I know I'm not crazy.
Thanks for sharing your experience because it has helped me to know you came through what I am experiencing.
Isolation from abusers works best. Doing something creative, again takes you away from the experience, moving through the experience, setting boundries works. Doing things for you and talking to people who truly care about you, again. Thank you for posting your insight, very useful for a lot of people.
After I just got discarded and was away for a while I started realizing how the narcissist affected me emotionally mentally and my ptsd ! I finally got a place of my own, I started doing my crafts again I was struggling at first but through the grace of God it’s gotten better! I have a friend that puts them on Display and her store I didn’t ever think that would happen again ! I go for long walks in nature and I exercise now ! And I’m learning to cook again! Thanks so much for your videos and help here God bless you always
I SOO...NEEDED THIS🙏🏻THANK YOU...IT WAS MY FIRST RE
LATIONSHIP OF MY LIFE...7yrs...cheated on...manipulated...discarded..this yr!! IN MY TWENTIES.,.I NEED TO REBUILD MY LIFE
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Same 😩 from age 22-26
@@Ari-pb4uo I watched this video wen I had a complete mental, physical n financial breakdown! I took tym... I din rush... Now m in much better place... M much more healthier, m much more tenacious, resilient n 10tyms stronger... Preparing for further studies! Stay close to ur family n exclusive frens! TRUST ME...D UNIVERSE HS MUCH MORE TO OFFER! U DESERVE MORE... IT MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE NOW... BUT.. NEVER GIVE UP! IT Doesn't MATTER HW U FALL, ALL IT MATTERS IS... HW U BOUNCE BACK!
@@premabatin1001 I’m so happy for you !! I can’t wait until I am at that same space of being healed . Mines discarded me multiple times and I kept giving the benefit of the doubt that things would be better . I just feel bad for staying so long. I feel like I wasted my best years.. but I am done for good now. I love the feeling of knowing that others are healed. Soo happy for you ! I will take everything you said on this journey of healing. Thank you for your kind words & blessings to you !
@@Ari-pb4uo I can literally feel u... Coz he too discarded me multiple tyms... Cheated on me wit 3 gals... Flirted online! I was in a relationship from 19yrs of age... Till 26yrs of age! U hv a choice in life... Take ur time... Cry buckets.. Sleep... Eat... Face ur emotions... But take each day...
Thank you! I was shaking for days after being so coldly dumped and devalued. I run, listen to your videos, arts and try to laugh with friends. I am thinking of going to therapy.
Sculpting on air clay and meditation in front of the beach
Healthy diet and books
Some sport and shower daily
Being thankful and praying a lot
That what helps me the most ..
Thank you so much for these videos. I am coming out of 6-year relationship where I thought I was losing my mind. Luckily, I eventually saw the light and ended things but... 6 years. I am just recently discovering these tactics used against me and the associated terminology. You have been a big help in my recovery already. I actually have been taking most of these steps before watching this video (I am so proud of me!!) And continue to do so the best I can (even though there are bad days). But on good days, I feel like I am thriving and returning to my true self! It is really comforting and validating that I am able to see reality for what it is. For so long, I was told I was not emotionally developed but after watching this, I feel like I have already come so far. Thank you so much!!
I had to discard from my ex in a hurry. I really had to start my life all over. I have just cut off from him altogether he made me reach that point of no return, I have been listening to you on your site to help me not feel guilty and to try to find something that I like because it's been so long I don;.t know what makes me happy or what I like or want to do. I am blessed to have a strong family support system .
Patricia, this sounds like me …. I realized with sudden clarity there was NO HOPE LEFT.
It helps to have interests, self projects such as learning guitar, DIY projects, hiking... so when and if you run into a narc -- (they will try to sabotage your interests, - own your work but you stay focussed on you. This helps to expose their manipulation, true intention of that person.) However, your already on track, healthy with a strong foundation. You know what they are all about before even getting involved with a friendship. Move on, no contact
Common ego. You know what you're talking about. Thank you.
it helped me when I admitted to myself that I allowed it. So I had reasons to allow it which were more important to me than escape and that the power has always been and always will be in my hands.
I made a mistake when I talked to my narc ex parents, sister and friends about how she treated me during our “relationship”. Didn’t know what flying monkeys meant at that time. Now they believe her and I am labeled the strange guy with issues. Best to grey rock since we have son together, don’t wish her bad karma since this is bad energy and just move on with my life...
It's so tempting, isn't it? Glad to hear you're on the right path 🙏❤
i was aware that a smearing campaign had been going for a long time so i never approached my in laws. We have 2 kids together and he is using them as blackmail
Yes, that is the "smear campaign" they will use any little personal thing & exploit it!
i made the same mistake. i trusted my ex’s brother but i guess his brother is as evil as he is. he pretended that he agrees with me. it’s okay because they will reap what they sow.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Everything you've said is spot on. I wish I had known all this before, because I made the mistake of talking to mutual friends and now they aren't my friends anymore. I guess in a way though, through this process, you also get that opportunity to find out who really supports you and is there for you when times are tough. Those bonds you can carry through the rest of your life.
The most amazing thing to witness was the narcissist's reaction when I set the boundaries, she was incredulous, despite being a liar and a cheater, she instantly transformed herself into the victim, and she was so good at it that I actually felt bad. I felt sorry for the person who betrayed me, lied to me, and manipulated me. I know better now. Pray you never have to interact with a narcissist in your life.
It’s insane that I’m going through this and reading that everyone else has been through the same like how . It’s so weird to me. How was he able to lie every single day and the whole time I was being manipulated and I had no clue. And he was my best friend. How did he just not care how does he not even care that in hurting so hard right now
Been a week now for me and I know exactly what you feel rn. 7 years living with me and my kids and boom like it was never nothing to her
one thing that helped me recover after finally cutting off contact with my father was putting the effort and energy i normally put into dealing with my father into my healthier relationships with people who give in return what i give them. it no longer felt like i had to sacrifice parts of myself to have love. even if you dont know anyone you can do that with now i PROMISE you there is someone out there who you can. it doesnt have to be romantic or sexual it can just be a friend. the best thing is experiencing true, unconditional love after having to survive with a narcissist for the majority of your life. most of what kept me complacent with my treatment was not knowing that it could be different in the first place. narcissists will convince you that they are the only ones that can love you because you are unworthy of love otherwise but that cannot be more untrue. I need you to hear this. your narcissist does not love you. they love that you love them.
I’ve used Grey rock and NC with success, it depends on the situation. This cerebral narc is new to me and I’m trying to figure out the best way to exit on the down low to keep his EGO intact in our tiny community.
NPDs are only happy when we’re not which is good to know. My health is in crisis so perhaps this is finally my time to disconnect and truly heal ❤️ Making myself a priority is so foreign to me, it’s daily work in progress 😓😅
On another note, It makes sense to me now I’ve been conditioned to downplay around my mother without realizing why 🤔 it’s so twisted I wonder if I can ever feel truly emotionally and mentally stable after a lifetime of abuse? Can I break free from a lifetime of narc abuse....hope so! 🙏❤️🤞🍀
This is one of the best vids I have watched on narcs! You get into the solution which is so important. One of the things I've done since going NC is immersed myself in the zumba and salsa community. I am a professional dancer turned lawyer so I went back to my roots. It has helped me more than I even know how to express. :-) I hope this helps someone else.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Illegallyblondelawyer I want to dance either Zumba or Salsa how can I find it or start it up? I live in a small town with many gyms
@@Deserthawk9487 For Zumba, I go to my gym (LA Fitness) for Salsa, you will have to find a studio. There are many here in LA but I have also found that the social salsa clubs will many times give a lesson in advance of dancing socially i.e. Class at 9 p.m. social dancing at 10 p.m. with either a live band or DJ. Give it a go! Try google first or Yelp. You will love it and get endorphins from it!
Fully recovered? lol. Feels like it’s going to be years.
Maybe for a lifetime in some way, but anything worth it is tough. 🙏
I hear this!
3 years and still suffering. Only God knows when this will end.
How are you now? Wondering if I will ever be ok
I’m sorry we’ve all had to live through this emotional abuse. Just know that their behavior has nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with their disorder. What happens is they only have the ability to see in black-and-white. The love bombing is because they idolized you. The discard is because they see you as something to destroy. They cannot see people in their fullness as human with flaws and with value. They are so filled with shame that we may never even know what we did to trigger the narcissistic injury but once activated they have a hard time remedying. You expose their humanness to them meaning that they are flawed which is OK we all are no one is perfect. But for them this triggers the core wounds. So much shame. They are not well and it has nothing to do with you. I really think that NPD should be renamed. Call it what it is reality distortion disorder. They cannot see themselves or others as they truly are.
Went thru it please take the time to heal but block them permanently you need to heal you will get stronger trust me
Thank you for the TRUTH. No healing can begin without it.
Yes. You pretty mush covering all this well. The NO CONTACT is the key really, but it is not as easy reached on the beginning, at least for me it wasn't.
Everything about this narcissism, has the origin in our own family dynamics. Soon, my attention was moved to that, I started to put all the peaces of this puzzle together and recover faster. It took me about 4 years, so this process was quite a long therm progress. But, on my way, I have met lots of so called "teachers", which helped me with my discoveries profoundly. Some of them were also Narcissists as wel (that was a bit weird), some of them were like me co-dependent or highly sensitive people ( Empaths), lots of them were spiritual (careful with those pretenders), but it all makes sense after all...
The point is, to move on, overcome the fears of the unknown new territories... and enjoy the ride...;)
With love, Igor (form the Netherlands)
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Blessed Mother, I pray for everyone watching this video that they are consoled by your gentle, loving spiritual embrace.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.
I have met several covert narcissists over the years. recently I met someone who thought I was going to be his next victim. I was getting over a relationship and the last thing I wanted was another relationship. I kept telling him *we are acquaintances not friends* even thought he would ask me often. The more I got I got to know him the more I disliked him. He lied for anything and everything. Unfortunately for him I stopped laughing at his jokes. I did not care what he thought of me. I knew he hated the fact I was strong independent woman. He discarded me I was super happy; however, we frequent the same places and staff have changed their tune. They no longer speak or acknowledge me. I hope I don't run into him but if I do, I just smile and keep walking
I was diagnosed with complex PTSD as a result of my narcissistic ex. We were together on and off for 7 years. It has been three months no contact. I’m ready to be completely done. 💖
It’s been months since we finally ended things but the most brutal way possible, after the most damage possible, I’ve been avoiding the thoughts and blocking it out but I finally admit today I’m still suffering inside
Not easy to talk with someone about this, I can't even make sense of all the nonsense that I lived through. This is like a drug addiction how can you explain the strong pull to be with a person that you know is bad for you? Huge pieces of my brain just got blank I keep watching this videos so I can bring to memory how it was to be on there. I'm missing the narcissist like hell, trying to get rid of it, and still looking for the path to find that guy on me that was confident, happy and smiling much of the time. Wishing so much for my mental freedom...
Narcissism should be declared a worldwide pandemic and treated as a serious mental illness!
A mim tem me ajudao muito ver o outro lado da moeda tambem.A minha codependencia e razoes, traumas etc para a carencia que faz com queiras ficar com alguem que sabes q é falso,Forca ai nao estas sozinho.Abraço!
Thank you. 3 months and plugging through all the advice. It’s hard but time will heal please God. 😊🙏
My ex clearly hurt me but she won’t say sorry because saying sorry would mean having to open up to feelings of shame and shame fucking sucks. So she disowns it. It’s easier to sweep those feelings under the rug and feel self righteous indignation and outrage at this other person because it blunts you away from the fact that you lost someone both good and bad.
I think No Contact is a double edged sword. It gives the discarded people a chance to genuinely heal but it also gives narcs a reason to never have to open up to their emotions and take responsibility for their actions. And sometimes (like me) you might not realise they were a narcissistic until you’ve already been emotionally abused and discarded and gone through the pain of being no contacted on while you’re confused about exactly what you’ve done to deserve it.
Thank you, this really helped.
I recently ended my 3ish year relationship with a narcissist…Im currently pregnant with our second child but I haven’t heard a thing from him. I know I ended it but I didn’t think anyone could act so coldly toward the mother of their children. I’m still learning
Hey Carly, just wondered how the rest of your pregnancy went (well I hope!) I am currently in exactly the same situation. 4 years into a relationship with a narcissist but only just coming to terms with what he is, while 6 months pregnant with our second child. He has had nothing to do with mine or the baby's wellbeing since I told him I couldn't live with him and the emotional abuse anymore. He still wants regular contact with our first child, but all on his terms. I am using a third party to make contact arrangements for that child, as I don't want any direct contact with him (it hurts too much). Does it get any easier?! I'm really struggling with the "grieving" process at the moment (although I do absolutely know that it's the right decision for me and our children)
I took your advice and went no contact.thank you for being a beautiful lady and helping everyone who has dealt with a narrasite
Thanks for your tips! Definitely need information like this. Especially having kids with someone who’s a narcissist. I always mess up when she asks about my personal life or things like that…..then it usually backfires because she uses things I’ve said against me when I wasn’t thinking she would ever do that. Even after breaking up she was still finding a way to get to me that way. Definitely going to do the gray rock thing. No more talking to her about anything other than business as you put it.
I love your facial expressions. "and there's a lot of negativity." yes. yes...indeed. Thank you for this. You reminded me of how fun i am, without living on eggshells.
Mine left, moved to another state, to marry some other dude, which regardless of proof, denied lol.
Obviously we'll never speak again in my lifetime but i am struggling with the death of the illusion. It's only been 24hrs of being out of my life, after a 10 month breakup cohabitation..
The ability to lie better, than I tell the truth, is crazy
So many things...
I started my channel hoping to find solutions for a life, marriage, and income which were all failing. These things are all gone now, literally. I believed until today that my regret, depression and constant heartbreak were my own failure. I have much healing to do and now I see, because of your channel, that there is hope. And maybe perhaps I am not as broken as I thought I was. Thank you so much.
I've just spent a few hours watching your videos because I'm beginning to think my best friend for the last 3-4 years is a covert narcissist. I've learned so much about myself through this friendship, and my journey with this person has brought me to a place where I have self-love and self-worth. The influence of this friend of mine helped me to get sober and my gratitude for that will never go away.
I think it's funny and I'm super grateful that figuring out my values and living up to them is what led to being discarded. It resonated with me very strongly (ie. i teared up 😅) when you said you believe strongly these moment are here to teach us. Thank you 🙏 Personally, I'm going to put some thought towards how I may have been neglecting to be more empathetic in my life because of the influence of this person.
Thank you so much! Actually received an email with the final (hopefully) discard while I was watching this. I was more than ready to let it go. Thankfully, it was only for less than a year, and I didn't live with or marry him. But that 10 months was a helluva roller coaster! We broke up at least 1/2 dozen or more times, and he blamed me always for everything, even though in the "hoovering" phase he'd apologize and seemingly acknowledge his part. Constant criticism, devaluing, his moodiness, etc. OMG!! It was exhausting!! Thankful it's over ... 👍 I've been in SLAA since a few months before we got together, and all that I've learned about love addiction since working the program, and the support from my wonderful group have been a lifeline. Soooo grateful!!
I'm trying to heal but my mental health has been exacerbated and I'm dealing with fear and paranoia due to thoughts of slander and smear campaigns. I'm trying to show them I'm strong, they mean nothing, but it's hard. Especially obeying your boundaries. Good thing is the complete cut off has been done!
Thank you for great advice. These things really work. Self-care, self-love and patience towards the self work really well.
He just discarded me. Jokes on him. I Wanted this to happen. Now I can work on myself without constantly being provoked and subtle emotional abuse. If he thinks that I'm weak,he's in a for a big surprise. I'm indifferent to the discard. I've waited so long for this. He's really playing himself.
Same here. I'm schizoid, which helps :-)
The advice about mutual friends is really important. Thank you!
The way I'm healing as I became an advocate for narcissistic abuse
This series on narcissists has been super helpful for me. Recently just realized my hovering ex is one. I needed to hear these things. Thanks for making the vid
Packed with much needed advice! Thank you, thank you, thank you. One of my biggest struggles is how to handle his friend group - we spent a lot of time together. I have been tempted to let on to his unhealthy behavior to some of them, given that we did not let on to our issues beforehand. Retail therapy is a real temptation. So reassuring and validating to hear that it is not important to be good at delving into a creative form of expression. As an artist I let go of so much of who I was and needed to hear that.
In recovery, surround yourself with people who genuinely care and get a hobby!! I rediscovered model airplanes and binge watching- like Christina’s videos while I do detail work on my toys:-)
Thanks a lot. I can not believe this has happened to me. Someone took me and others into a make believe world. It is so painful and hard.
Things that I found most helpful were music (although I stopped playing -for about seven years -I could still listen to music...) Art -specifically photography and most important was *writing* -I recommend The Artists Way Julia Cameron. I found that the best was to get over being discarded -was to "discard" or unload my life's story. It doesn't actually matter if no-one ever reads it -the point is that it was "therapy" for *me* If you're getting over such a relationship -and there are children involved you have my deepest empathy *get all the help that you can*
I have found a lot of 'self-help' psychology clips on UA-cam and don't find they have anything that helpful. I accidentally found you and I have actually subscribed because you are so sensible and explain things in such a humanistic way - and to be honest, are mpre applicable to my life than I realised. I thought my ex was mostly of a Borderline spectrum person - I see now he was actually more in the narcisstic realm and knowing I have a friend and a boss who fit into this - I see it all really clearly - and its hard to purge them all from your life if you work with a 'friend'' who I realise now but probably knew at some level for some time - was only a 'friend' because I am faIrly good at my job and he needs that to make himself look better - it has nothing to do with caring about me - As for my last relationship - WOW - I really got shafted on so many levels and have found it so hard to find 'closure' - realised I needed that from him - and now I know I really need it from myself. Thank you -
I guess we did a “ mutual discard” over a year ago. I stopped taking Valium to sleep after 20 years, both were like quitting a heroin habit... it took a year to feel normal again. But it is finally over, I always got bad results from family !! Nothing ever changed, so it was time to go ! Not open to physical violence , I drew the line when she threatened me with physical violence...
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
Thank you so much, I have just had the final disguard, because of your videos I was ready and waiting for it. and there is was. Goodbye to 4 years with a Covert Narcissist and 32 years of serial relationships with Narchissists, Grandiose and Covert to discover I am repeating the pattern of the relationship with my Covert Narcissistic Mother. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, finally awake.
wake-up moment,
about 8 years ago while driving one afternoon,
I was running through my head several comparisons my x-narc had in common with another person I once knew.
this other person had been clinically diagnosed by a psychiatrist as being a Narc.
Because of the previous person, I had been educated and thought I knew enough to keep Narcs out of my life.
Well, a few years later I was proven to be wrong.
I got involved with a person I thought was free of the toxic character (behaviors) of a Narc.
this is a long story short version!
I had been blindly dumped by my x-Narc and like everyone else who's been a victim of a Narc I was trying to makes sense of her weird actions.
So I started to go through several episodes of things that the two of us had experienced together.
And for some reason I started to compare her with that previous Narc that was professionally identified as a Narc.
And wah-lah the biggest Chill went up and down my spine, I could feel my hair raise and tingle! It was a shocking moment to realize how similar the two were!!
I'll never forget that moment and place where I was driving!
here is one common (comparison) fact that was near the same tactic or behavior the two had.
both made up the most ridiculous reasons for having to go to the emergency room and both had to go several times during my relationship with them.
Both were lying about the cause of ER trips.
they didn't want friends and family to know the real truth as to why they're going.
excuses varied for both but are in fact similar,
the previous friend claimed to be experiencing seizures while my X-narc used different reasons for her visits
like there had to be fluorides in the wine in her salad dressing that she consumed at a friends house,
another ER visit was because of the fumes emanating from the plaster she had put up on the walls of her home
and there was a third time I can't remember what she said.
yeah, they're doing drugs and overdoing them.
I never witnessed any drugs, because I wasn't supposed to know they're doing them.
but since all this has passed, I think I got right!
I no longer question what I believe are the real reasons.
there's more comparisons, but I don't want this to be too long.
you will never hear them tell you the truth of who they are and why they do what they do!
It's up to you to do the work and realize what's really the truth vs what they display and want you to think and know of them !!!!!
My boyfriend discarded me again for the 4th time. 3 previous times, when it happened, every time I was going back to real myself, being calm, content enjoying life with my children and friends, he was back with love bombing , a day before the lockdown after 3 months since he discarded me, saying he knew what he wanted and it was me. And a week ago when I texted him to find out how he was feeling after "being sick", he replied me with such a rude message finishing it "actually I had enough now", I agreed and asked him to collect his things from my house. After he collected his staff he phoned and said it was me who broke up with him and it would take him a while to get over me. Two days later I saw him a new woman walking holding hands and him being so affectionate to her. I had a suspicious he was juggling two relationship again. I am struggling emotionally, the worse I ever have been.
I completely blocked him in all ways. We had nothing binding us together. We broke up in the first 10 month I went back after 6 weeks. We got back together and engaged for an additional year.
I have never even driven by his house or looked at any social media in 7 months.
He started drama by contacting my Mom daughter and grandkids (so rude).
And wrote me a letter I never read. Occasionally he sends me a piece of mail that went to his house (that I already new about duh).
I’ve never gone through a break up like this! I knew I had to get out and didn’t want to be with him anymore.. but the damage was done! I can see and feel the changes in my soul. I’m feeling better all the time. I had a wonderful therapist that specializes in abusive relationships. I’m still having trouble so now I will be starting EMDR for the trauma. This guy was 61 yrs old... he was a master .. I’m free but have flashbacks. I still keep learning.
Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years wife cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned her cell and i got access to all her text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via WhatsApp him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later...
I’m out. I knew he was a narcissist for almost 2 years. I was trying so so so hard to change him. It’s been 3 weeks since we seen each other and He knew I was getting over him and he logged into my Facebook account. It’s hard because we have a kid together but he’s so narcissistic that he is going to lose his rights to our kid. All he wants to know is about our child when he doesn’t get to see our son. I denied him that info so he discarded me. 3 weeks later I just saw him again and flipped him off. I’ve completely blocked him and I’m done. He’s done with me. I’ve done so much for him and he just completely shits on me. I’m glad that I won’t be having to deal with him anymore. I’m still trauma bonded because I have an idea in my mind that i miss his body and kissing him and I miss when he says he loves me. But all of that was to gain things. Now he has everything. He no longer needs me besides to know about our son. I’m done. Very very done.
He turned his whole family against me.
I stumbled upon this series of videos a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea about covert narcissist. The personality of the CN fits a person in my life to a T. It’s almost like a checklist.
We are in our 70’s. I knew things were not going well for me almost 40 years ago but I never connected the dots until about 10 years ago.
I’ve put physical, mental and emotional distance between us slowly and in phases. Now, we share a house and income together since both are retired. We share nothing else such as lunches, trips, church, friends or the like now. It’s not an optimum way of life but it’s better FOR ME than it was.
Who knows what the next step will be.
I needed to hear ALL of this. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with the world!
I’m speechless!! 😶 I’ve never seen videos like any of yours come up in my feed before and today it recommended the gaslighting one. Well, now I’m on this one and subscribed and I just can’t begin to tell you how ironic it is that this came up today!! Ironic isn’t the way word!! And I had to stop this video and comment this bc the things you’re saying are just.. I honestly don’t have the words.
After nearly 15 years, i had planned to end things today. On and off of course.
I just can’t tell you how thankful I am for landing on your channel bc I’m telling you, I’ve been so scared of the where to go from here feeling. I’m going to check out the other videos. I just had to leave a comment bc I couldn’t believe how insanely ironic this was. I know it’s something more ❤️
This video makes me feel so much better. Thanks for making me smile. 🥰
I just started studying narcissism after releasing a female 10 years ago. I do not know if she was narcissistic, but am finding your comments insightful.
Christina, thank you so much for this. I am 9 months since the discard. I have finally set some strong communication boundaries (we have children together). I have also talked with some close friends and family, plus I have a great counsellor. I am stuck on the 'self-love' part although I am trying. Hopefully, I will make some progress soon....
I just started on betterhelp recently and I am sooooo sooooo happy that I found this video and this channel. I may have to loop this video as I just got my first discard from a narcissist about a month and a half ago. I need to make it the final discard for my own health (and yes, I am watching that video next about how to know it's the final discard). I want her back so bad. I'm hoping that this can be part of my armor in being strong enough never to let her come back if she decides she wants to
You asked for things I DID after the final discard that my help others.
First I was the one that ended it sending the text clarifying that "this is NOT a relationship I want to be in" (his behavior got progressively worse since the moment he started his "dream job", his new lover, new source of validation and supply. A point here is I always had a strong core, ego and sense of self. We did not live together but 3 blocks from each other. I realized he hadn't changed, he was always like this but just did a better job of faking a relationship. And therefore this was NEVER going to be a man that could be in a healthy, relationship with a "secure attachment" style. It was always going to be walking on eggshells and wondering who would show up next.
I accepted the pain I was about to go thru ending it. Awful pain, but the inspiration is knowing how I will feel about myself a year from now, knowing I would not allow this man I loved to emotionally abuse me.
What I did to get thru it:
1- speak with my friends who knew everything and reach out and express how difficult this end was but that this was THE END. Not faking being happy. Embracing the grief.
2. Lots of swimming to relieve stress, interact with my swimming buddies, but unfortunately would see him in the pool as we are both swimmers.
3. I immersed myself in nature regularly even though I live in Manhattan; Central Park, Wave Hill, Long Beach a beach community jumping the waves for an hr,
4. Doing minor but essential upgrades to my home. Created better chi (good energy) in the home. Also painting a room gives a great feeling of renewal and refresh.
4. Letting myself cry, and cry again as needed. Not pushing down the sadness and the grief. Allowing it to come up... and out.
4. Going to movies at my special movie house in Manhattan, New Plaza Cinema with really deep, special movies and talk with the people after about the movie.
5. Made time to just be alone, feel the feelings that were there.
6. I noted I did not regret him being in my life. I was truly happy, but left when he his periods of toxic behavior and emotional abuse became more and more frequent. I stayed while it was good for me and left when is wasn't because he no longer could be bothered putting in the effort. His new "dream job" was his ego fix. I was less important.
7. I never ever took his behavior personally, asking "what did I do wrong" not ever! I only viewed it as, "what a disappointment that THIS IS WHO THIS PERSON REALLY IS''. This behavior was about who HE IS and I was so disappointed and grieved deeply the loss of how he was. But he never was that either. It was all a mask, to get supply from me and to feed his damaged self esteem.
Honestly I beat myself up as a good person, I was pushed to the brink and called them on their nonsense and it gave them all the ammo, and plausible story to end things and discard and blame shift me, and I’m none of the names they called me..they dish it all the way out, but they can’t take it..I still want revenge on them for trying to ruin me..
@Common Ego This was me - I made that fatal mistake - after moving out and leaving her, we got back in contact after a while and missing her (trauma bonds) so it was like we were in a relationship again. And guess what? I was then discarded, I assume when the new supply was found. And it hurt like hell and still does..
Thank you so much for making this videos. One day I will also feel well that he ghosted me. I had a lot of respect for military officer this one changed me mind about that forever. Thank you.