Turra Coo and Four-Legged Juggling: Citation Needed 7x03
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- Matt Parker joins the team this week, in which there's talk of the great cream seams and a surprisingly in-depth discussion of how quadrupeds might juggle.
BONUS MATERIAL: • Monkey Shipwrecks and ...
FULL PLAYLIST: • Citation Needed, from ...
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Featuring:
Matt Parker: / standupmaths - @standupmaths
Gary Brannan: @garybrannan
and Chris Joel, who doesn't do this social media nonsense
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(you can find contact details and social links there too)
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👥 THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: / techdif
At one point in this week's show, we are literally talking bu-- actually, never mind, I'll let you find that out.
Hi tom
you just lost the game!
idea for next round of citation needed episodes, Misery Biscuits for particularly depressing or dystopian answers.
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
I think I know which part you're talking about.
I love how at one point, Gary almost got Tom to passionately argue that being a cow and being a judge aren't mutually exclusive.
This is the best joke of the entire episode
@@yuvalne Series, I'd argue.
Well they arent
@@ghyuty17 by definition, they are.
".. For God's-!"
"list of 10 different permutations" "diversified skillset" "like, a non-zero amount of things" spoken like a true mathematician Matt
Matthematican
@@oz_jones YES!!!
'Pleasure to be your replacemat'. This is why Mr Parker is amazing
+
Its 'Pleasure to be your replace-Matt' but I'll give you an A for Trying and an A for Effort! Good job!
@@lightninglily644 A Parker Square of a quote, if you will
@@Roadsguy a Parker Quote, mayhaps?
@@lightninglily644 *replacemath
"Did it become a cow again?" is one of the funniest questions I've ever heard!
@@robertcrawshaw9978 it was a judge for a bit
Chris is losing it *so hard*
@@NoNameAtAll2 Implying judges are a separate species
@@Soken50 they are, just like lawyers
@@beek.4860 Nah judges are humans, lawyers are not even a species, they spontaneously appear from hell with a devils contract at 1000$/min whenever you need them
I love the part where Tom just starts going along with it and then catches himself, "just because it's a judge doesn't mean it stops being a cow..."
blogg227 And then he catches himself halfway through the sentence, it was hilarious XD
I don't get it
Yeah, I missed this one, too. Dunno if it's a regional thing or I'm just thick today.
m4dn3zz it's just funny that tom scott started playing along with gary's fiction about the cow by complete accident
Jop pe: Thanks. I guess I expected Tom to realize it was a terrible pun or something, based on the scope of his reaction.
Only a mathematician would unironically slip "a non-zero amount" in to a sentence with out even thinking about it.
Andrew Halverson But it’s such a useful phrase!
as a non-mathematician, I use that phrase all the time
Physicist here; you're wrong. We do it too!
@@Wyldina Physicists are just applied mathematicians, so not sure how much this proves OP wrong :P
@@error.418 Lies and slander!
I need to build a time machine so I can be in the studio audience to raise my hand when Tom asks if anyone's painted a cow before. Yes, you can, yes, it washes off, no, it doesn't hurt the cow. Credentials: was in 4-H as a kid, bovine costume contests were a thing at the annual fair, saw a Jersey masquerading as a Holstein one year.
I expect it's important to use the right type of paint
@@AgentTasmania It is!
@@AgentTasmania Bessy will forever be pink because SOMEONE forgot to read the phrase "for industrial applications only"
@@ladylilithparker I imagine the cow-painting is done immediately before the fair, but then again is there added time to dry? Never painted a cow, but I remember trying to keep glitter-hooves tip top!
@@Rishnai The costume contest is generally the last class of the fair to be judged, after the entrants have done their "official" competitions. I've seen participants spend anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours painting their animals (including 5-10 minutes of drying time), depending on how extensive and elaborate a paint job they were doing, and they almost always headed straight for the hoses after the judging was over to wash it all off.
Regarding "Not Proven", it used to be in Scots law that the two verdicts were "Proven" and "Not Proven", until a lawyer managed to convince a jury to return a verdict of "Not Guilty" on a case where the jury didn't want to punish a person for a charge that the prosecution had definitely proven. For a long time thereafter "Not Guilty" was just the way Scots juries practiced jury nullification, until it became the norm and Not Proven then changed to being "we know you did it but can't prove it".
I expect this difference comes into play in regards to double jeopardy? So you can't be put on trial again if you've been acquitted with a verdict of "not guilty", but if there is new evidence after a "not proven" verdict you can be?
@@entropyzero5588 we don't have double jeopardy laws
@@brodieclamp5090 That's not true, see Double Jeopardy (Scotland) Act 2011. The suggestion of @Entropy Zero is also incorrect - not guilty and not proven have the same legal effect and double jeopardy laws apply similarly to both verdicts.
@@kieranr7382 It makes sense really, even if you have a "Not Guilty" verdict there's certainly times when new evidence can turn the whole case on its head.
I know the ending cow judge moment is the highlight, but the mystery biscuits earlier is what got me the most.
"I believe there's technically a term for that."
"Yes, it's cow."
Tom Scott's facial expressions for the next ten seconds going "Son of a gun...."
I didn't get that joke
@@zperk13 "Cow" is actually the term for a female cattle. A male one is called a "bull".
@@aloysiuskurnia7643 aahhh ok! Thanks
Parker Square shirt guy in the front row is my personal hero
And the guy behind him with the "ñ" shirt. Obscure reference.
I’ve got mixed feelings.
I wonder if they knew Matt would be subbing in for Matt.
catfish552 Is ñ for NativLang?
Correcting myself. Of course ñ is for Tom Scott, as it's the old name of his UA-cam channel.
This and Juan Pujol Garcia are two episodes I can listen to over and over and never get tired of.
Charles Blondin, Victor Lustig, and Hail Cannon are certainly up there too
@@pprudencio1966 Jack Churchill still takes the cake for me.
@@MarcelVos Heeee! Fancy seeing you here! I'm a recent fan of yours, now even more because of your good taste in other content.
My favorite part is when Tom realizes they've driven him to argue a judge can still be a cow.
2016 - Tom mistakes his glass for his buzzer
2017 - Tom hits his elbow on the chair while trying to hit the buzzer
What will Tom do next year? Place your bets!
Adrian Pietkiewicz 2018 - Tom hits his elbow on his buzzer whilst trying to hit his chair
elbow up his own ass
press end series instead of buzzer
@@onionbot2 that’s just horribly true
@@libsifywriter2471 until it's amazingly false since about 2 weeks ago
Can we have a “Parker Bench” episode?
YESSS
8 Bit Metal Covers either on a bench away from any park (like somewhere inside) or in a park with no benches are options as well. Something which is almost a park bench, but not quite enough.
Is that the name for a bench that doesn't work properly?
Park Bench Needed or Citation Bench?
And it's just a very post-modernist interpretation of a bench, following on from the 'Parker square' and 'Parker circle'.
Gotta love the Parker Square T-shirt in the front row!
7:50 for anyone who is looking for it
Matt replacing Matt - I've waited for this for so long
Nothing against Matt, but I love Matt
he was replaced by a parker matt.
Wow it's Matt Parker, this is great! I didn't expect this!
My dreams come true!
I'm guessing Matt calculated the odd of one of the panellists being unavailable at some point during the run. Also the probability that a educational UA-camr would be available at the UA-cam space on the day of filming.
That could make a good episode for Matt on his channel.
I’m was as surprised as you are.
His pic in the thumbnail gave it away for me
standupmaths dude, you're the greatest! the 20 minute videos feel like they pass in 2 and the extra footage is also a must watch :)
I love when Gary starts talking really fast in the back of his throat. Y'know, where his accent lives
In Swedish, "tom" means "empty" and "skott" means "shot". So in Sweden, Tom would basically be a loose cannon.
I'm sorry, Bro
Pixel Guy Is is pronounced the same way? Does the grammar work out to form a real phrase? Because I love the idea of Tom Scott, secret loose cannon.
I also don't know Swedish.
Tom is not pronounced the same
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for all that don't know, they visited a town named bro in Sweden and on matt and toms channel they made a video titled "I'm sorry bro" and this is a joke based off that
as a swede(the vegetable) i concur
2:05 - 3:05 Perfectly describes why I love everything that the Technical Difficulties do. The phrase "The cow became famous." In less then a minute turned into a discussion about a cow sitting in an office chair, and then the mathematics of juggling.
When I saw the thumbnail I was like “That’s Matt Parker” this is a dream come true.
I glanced over the thumbnail and was like, "huh, Matt's got a new video up? I'll watch it later if I feel like it" and then I took a closer look and saw that it was actually Citation Needed feat. Matt Parker. :x
the real matt couldn't make it so they brought in a parker matt.
It was a very exciting cross over indeed!!
@@windhelmguard5295 meta. I like it.
I really want a clip of Matt just saying, "Immortal Dairy Workers."
Three cow monte with the cows all on office chairs... (this is seriously the best thing on YT)
“I know a nonzero amount of things about a lot of things…” is a phrase I use frequently because of this show.
Same.
I really want to see a five person Citation Needed now, with the normal four and Matt Parker added on. That would be comedy gold.
"did it become a cow again?" "it was never *not* a cow!" lmao
I like that some guy in the audience is wearing a Parker Square t-shirt.
You should totally go to the roadside monument in Lendrum and cover this story in a 'Things you might not know' video.
Or take some folding chairs and do a Park Bench episode.
+1 for this. Please try to do a show on the Turra Coo!
Let’s see... the usual four of you, Will, Jay and Math Matt. If you can get Jay to bring Geoff Marshal you’d only need three more people and you can go play Sark.
Math Matt... I wonder what his tics are, and how befuddled the Sark football team will be.
There's Bambi On Ice Tim as well...
Hannah Witton, Dr. Mike Pound from Computerphile, and Paul. I WIN.
You could also have a team edition of CN with Chris, Gary and Matt vs Will, Jay and Matt... it'd be like Mock the Week but slightly less depressing.
I know it’s never going to happen but I’d watch the HELL out of that.
Being from Aberdeenshire myself, I find this incredibly entertaining, however Turriff isn't exactly the most renowned Doric speaking area - there are other areas which have a much more country-oriented way of life (and dialogue). Great video though! Sad to see Doric becoming less and less popular over the years, it's a very interesting element of North-East culture. We need a revival!
EDIT: 'coo' isnt necessarily a Highland Cow, just a cow in general. ;)
To be fair, this was in the 1910s. Do you know what the language situation was then?
"The sheriff seized the cow"
...carpe mooem?
Cowpe diem
Carpe bovum would be my guess
AWESOME! only found Citation Needed a week ago. smashed them all in a matter of days.
and MOAR!
great game, great dudes, lots of fun
OH GOD , all of Matt's answers are going to kinda right in but not really aren't they ?
too few likes, perhaps people didn't get the joke :(
but anyway, in this show, he'd still get the points for trying and/or almost right answers
All Parker Answers, yeah...
I still feel so nostalgic for this show
"Pleasure to be your replace-Matt."
Welp, he fit right in from the start
At 7:49 there is someone in the front row wearing a Parker Square shirt. Nice.
This show needs to be a proper show.
Or I could just re watch the old ones to satisfy my cravings (seriously tho, 40 min episodes would be great, or just an uncut version)
That moment when Tom realizes he's about to admit that the judge can be a cow has me weeping from laughing.
Can you explain why that’s funny? Is it an English thing?
Matthew Doel mostly is just a goddamit I cannot believe I’m actually about to argue this.
YASS standupmaths + techdif collab!!
As a current Houston, Texas resident who had lived in Aberdeen Scotland for several years, this was a joy to watch! Had never heard this story, love it!
"How do you know you've not seen the ghost of a cow" tom's reaction to that was the funniest thing ive seen today oh god im dying.
James Veitch would be a great guest!
Yesssss
😬😬
this could be a YT red series.
luckily it isn't.
I almost called you names. I'm sorry for that.
it's already red - it has red t-shirt guy in it
You reminded me UA-cam Red exists
Existed
Gary asking “how would you know you haven’t heard the ghost of a cow” gave me quite the image in my mind: I’m walking through my village at night and I just hear a mooing behind me and it’s some kind of cow demon
he is a sit-down mathematician....
Sorry dad joke
Have you seen the Wikipedia article for Guy Standing?
It has (update: had) a picture of Guy Standing sitting.
Bo Burnham sing in one of hi songs (Ironic): "I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch"
@@rarebeeph1783 God, the talk page for those ones are brilliantly anal.
These videos have made me laugh more today than this entire month. Quality stuff
Actually, you know it's the ghost of the Turra Coo, as opposed to a normal cow, because you can hear it hitting the gavel when you're driving by.
And the rattling of its office chair wheels
That little head-tilt/wink that Mat did when the audience applauded his intro - XD
"I know somewhere between, like, a non-zero amount of things about a lot of things" - Matt Parker 2017
This episode got me in laugh tears ! Thank you for what I discover by the end of 2020 making a research about Matt Parker collaborations with you. Now I have a full series of episodes to watch !
Matt is replacing Matt. Wow
Mattception or Matt²
One of the funniest episodes. I was in tears. And that was a brae coo
"Pleasure to be your replaceMATT"
Im sold. Can Matt Parker become a regular?
Fun fact at 16:40 replacematt references tresspassing "a light tresspassing later" there is no such thing under scots law, unless it's school, prison or military ground (and maybe the Queen's residence)
cant believe New Matt used the word "permutations" in reference to a cow
Per-moo-tations?
@@twojuiceman wahey
Amazon Protest will mesh beautifully with Gary's "postal bees" gag.
Edit: oh my gosh, just after I commented that he mentioned the bees :)
I don't know about Royal Mail, but the USPS will also ship scorpions.
9:50
Along with bees, chickens, mice and other animals.
in the same box together
But you'll have to put the box labelled "live scorpions" into another box, labelled "[a box containing]* live scorpions"!
*optional
OMG when Tom tried to explain that a cow can be a judge... I'm crying...
Matt Parker for the win!!!!
Also everyone this is brilliant and I just found the series last week
Fell asleep during the Ruth Bellville episode and ended up here. Just doing my part to keep your views up!
I've never felt the need to see a cow juggle before, but I guess there always comes a time for it.
I saw Matt in the thumbnail and clicked to see what this was. No clue what just happened, but it was very enjoyable :D
"This story comes full circle"
The cow became a sheriff?
16:57 Tom Scott’s stunned silence is hilarious
Thanks for the spittake - PIGEONS in caps in the captions got me.
At 8:31 I'm REALLY dissapointed no-one said "You can't have your cow and eat it."
Starts video - Sees Matt - LIKE - continues watching the video
Same
yep, that's basically how it went
Yup
It took me 5 years to find out Gary was paying homage to The Blackadder's Lord Flashheart. It hit me like a ton of bricks after watching that clip from The Blackadder XD.
So I looked up the article and they skipped the best part. In 2010 (seven years before this video, so it still coupld have been in the article) they added a statue of the Turra Coo in Turriff. Also, in 2014, Turriff United F.C. adopted a mascot of a cow, possibly based on the Turra Coo, but this time male (so Turra bull I guess)
TIP: Re-watch this episode, just focusing on Matt's face the entire time. His reactions are awesome!
hats off to the cheeky sod wearing a parker square in the front row
Apparently it was pure kismet
A cream mine is a legit plot to one of the best episodes of The Goodies back in the... 70's? Great show.
1:29 i had started the video and then left and then came back to it and it's just gary yelling pidgeons
Being from Aberdeenshire - how have I not found this earlier
For those who want to know: £15 in 1911 is over £1200 in 2021!
Because I happen to know that kine = cows because cu = cow circa Chaucer, as soon as they said it was Scotts I thought, "it's not about a bloody cow ain't it? No, they wouldn't..." 'Twas about a bloody cow.
A juggling cow who is also a judge!
Such a beautiful story of civilians rebelling something really trivial, with something laughable, how mooving.
This is one of the best yet! I love Matt Parker too
Seeing this pop up in the notifications was genuinely the high point of my week.
My favourite show with my favourite mathematician.
1:08 Matt seems so surprised Gary knew about Doric
Tom should be in youtube rewind
No he shouldn't. He has great shows and rewind sucked (once again)
Don't mention UA-cam rewind or you'll get dabbed on because you're a hater.
endme
@ddGrandahl: Don't get me wrong, UA-cam Rewind is a great idea but the realization (IMHO) since 2015 is really bad. A shitty generic song, a lot of vlog youtubers (I guess .. don't know most of them). There was a single good scene (the train with the fidget) and that's pretty sad for a 6 minute video.
science Reminds me of Bomfunk MC Freestyler
David Triannas not really
shoutout to the guy with the parker square t-shirt in the audience
I could listen to them talk all day about the stuff they know. It amazes me! And then they started talking about siteswaps, didn't think more than 10 people even know what those were!
5:15 This gives much more meaning to the quote : "I drink your milkshake !"
Being from Turriff this whole episode is really surreal! There is actually a Cow statue right in the Centre of the town, was only recently put there in the last few years as a kinda 100 years on homage to the story. Would make an interesting episode of Things you might not know.
Tom's exasperated look at 14:15 is the best 😂
this episode is the parker square of the best Citation Needed Episode
I just love that you've involved Matt Parker in this. He did quite well, actually!
😂 that dood in the audience with a parker square shirt! A true madlad
That was unexpectedly awesome... thank you...
I thought it would be about jury nullification, but the “we know you’ve done it but good job” verdict is even better
What do you think jury nullification is?
@@wbfaulk nullification is still a not guilty verdict, it doesn’t go on the official record like a “not proven” would.
@@stoutyyyy "Not proven" doesn't mean that the jury approves of the thing the accused was being tried for. It just means that they don't think the prosecution proved their case. Judges also use it in summary judgements, and they're unlikely to mean "I approve of this person's crime".
I heard this story many a years ago and was yelling like an idiot watching this, most fun Ive had on youtube.
I'm in stitches! 😂
Matt looks like, "WTF have I got myself into?" 😂😂
The cow is under the cup that is .... MOooooooving.
I love how you can use the beginning ‘sound to determine how loud the rest of the episode
i was waiting for this and all i got was a parker episode. could not be happier :D
I think this was both the most and the hardest I've ever laughed during Citation Needed!! :D
Gary rocked this episode.
As an American 9:24 is when i had to turn on the captions, i had no idea what he said to an extent hahah
Matt Parker. Woop