Jonathan Frakes Interrogates You

You're in the hot seat now!

[@SB-129]

"Is it possible that a parrot could give a young girl the will to live?"
Definitely sounds like the premise to a Pixar movie.

[@TheRealEthanavos]

Oh wait... those are just the Rio movies holy shit

[@SB-129]

@@TheRealEthanavos XD I forgot those movies existed!

[@filipedias7284]

it's been confirmed Pixar's next movie will be about industrial society and its future

[@eastmeetswestpresents6923]

Was the story that was presented in that episode told to be true or false?

[@Dani_Vintage]

This was my favorite line! 🤣😂

[@Samael66616]

“The test wont be that hard”
The test:

[@SudokuPUA]

Underrated comment 😂

[@LP-tf7cy]

Make an unsolved murder an SAT question and we'll have the killer found by September.

[@jin6000]

HAHAHAHAHhahahahgahaga, comment of the century.

[@kristjanpeil]

I like it how you ended your remark with a colon...

[@SeanBn]

When you don't know the correct evidence to present in Ace Attorney so you just keep pressing

[@Doctorrr_]

It's been two years, but may I just say, this made me laugh 😅

[@beesinpyjamas9617]

is it possible a parrot could testify in a murder trial

[@Big_Chungus935]

My man

[@NationalSportsEntertainmentNSE]

Ace attorney and Beyond Belief fan? You are a catch

[@NationalSportsEntertainmentNSE]

​@@beesinpyjamas9617it would be very Phoenix Wright to interrogate a plant.

[@imnotabeetleiswear6549]

0:23 "Was the sewing machine taken over by the spirit of Byron's grandmother?" You can see him almost laugh at how dumb that line is, I love Johnathan Frakes so much

[@jdrvargo287]

Which is saying something, since most of these lines sound like the dialog in dreams where everything makes sense, yet makes no sense.

[@codiak2680]

I can almost see Frakes mentally tell himself: "Hold strong and remember you're a professional" .

[@larkalfen9510]

i have heard bidens grandmother
idk why

[@graysonrogers-barnes6302]

You can hear it a little, too-

[@phexus82]

There's that slight Frakes glint in his eye that barely takes shape there at the end.

[@HD-xt6cq]

I'd like to imagine these are all part of one big mystery

[@CircaSriYak]

Oh my dog

[@Commander_Shepard.]

THANOS

[@Regularguy220]

Does this story seem possible?

[@personzorz]

The mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid is the key

[@Regularguy220]

@John Acosta youre right, its fiction

[@pungaking]

*What about the mysterious behaviour of the barbecue lid?*

[@plasticweapon]

my favorite.

[@juicerock960]

Dead

[@RBKluuzGH]

*Was it really the nanny?*

[@pungaking]

@@RBKluuzGH It's a total fabrication

[@davidjames579]

Go on, Riker, don't leave us hanging on that....

[@zachludolph8154]

“What about the mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid?” Gets me every time

[@arthuxxnuke97]

Straight after who the heck ate the food XD

[@vondas1480]

What about the Wookiee attack on the barbecue lid?

[@Gelatinocyte2]

"You broke my grill?"

[@CaptainJZH]

Almost sounds like he's struggling with that line too lol

[@sarahgrisetti3915]

Years ago I was really sick in the hospital and feeling down. I ended up discovering this amazing show and binge watched. The housekeeping lady kept coming to "clean" just so she could watch with me and we could discuss our theories! Thank you Jonathon Frakes and housekeeping lady for getting me through that time.

[@OperatorMax1993]

Damn that's cool!

[@OperatorMax1993]

@Apsoy Pike Beyond Belief, the show went on from 1997 to 2002

[@OperatorMax1993]

@Apsoy Pike you're welcome

[@AverageMichaelJordans]

The truth is that it was the housekeeping lady all along!!!

[@raggededge82]

how was the sex?

[@tylerjacobson8012]

It sounds like we’re discussing a really crazy case we’re trying to solve. The barbecue lid is still our prime suspect.

[@jbwarner8626]

We've got a sewing machine giving a statement in the other room right now.

[@pentelegomenon1175]

But then... how do you explain the bullet hole in the phone?

[@robertdevito5001]

@@pentelegomenon1175 the barbecue lid must’ve used a gun since the plant identified it as the murderer, the real question would be is the old woman in on it too?

[@Ralph_Sandwich]

@@robertdevito5001 but who ate Hals food then?

[@matthewwheeler469]

@@jbwarner8626 You can't trust the sewing machine. It's being controlled by the spirit of Byron's grandmother.

[@TheFantasticJoe]

Sir I don't know I'm just a McDonald's employee.

[@GabbasaurusRex]

"Now, would you like to Super Size your meal? Because I kind of need to get the line moving."

[@ranpoolz]

Oh. Is it too late to order breakfast?

[@rararasputin8608]

"I sell balloons, kid."

[@Cx10110100]

@@ranpoolz Is it 10 am?

[@theuniversedoesntcare]

Would you like that for here, or to go?

[@ColorlessMayhem]

I love how he smiles when he says the sewing machine thing like he nearly lost it

[@ded-ceoofjar-a-tea150]

*So, I may have just spent 2 hours concocting a story which lines up to his questioning.*
In short, Byron (The Cowboy) confronts Johnny and Larry, likely to rob them. He is assisted by Grandma (The Nanny, Old Woman). Whilst Hal is away, the Doctor gasses Danny by use of the milk bucket. Whilst Danny is hallucinating, Grandma eats Hal's food, which is a fertilized octopus egg with a side of Barbeque Sauce. Under the watch of a Parrot (The Plant), Grandma is killed by the Doctor and the Morgue Attendant. The Parrot reports this to Byron's Wife (Young Girl), who is overjoyed. The Doctor sends an email to Byron's Wife, discussing plans to deal with Byron. The Doctor drugs Byron, causing him to gain amnesia. Whilst on the phone, likely with the Doctor, Byron is shot by his Wife, straight through the phone. The Morgue Attendant, whilst disposing of Grandma (and Byron), discovers the ingested egg growing in her body.

[@CircaSriYak]

None of this explains how the doctor was able to send email without a computer. Nice try globalists

[@pizzaeater8905]

Perfect.

[@ataraxxx]

This guy really beliefs!

[@aleksanderdreyar9845]

when did grandmother possessed the sewing machine? btw i laughed throughout the whole theory

[@ded-ceoofjar-a-tea150]

@@aleksanderdreyar9845 I can only imagine she possessed it after her passing, possibly before the ingested egg was found.

[@wemadethatoneup...1952]

*Was the sewing machine taken over by the spirit of Byron's grandmother?*

[@jamiehail5974]

best one

[@spangeman3994]

It's fact, a similar event happened to a young man in the pacific north west about 20 years ago

[@WTFBOOMDOOM]

Was the old sewing machine in on it too?

[@xbjrrtc]

@@WTFBOOMDOOM 😂 😂 😂

[@aydubzer0]

He looks like he’s trying so hard not to laugh at how absurd that line is lol

[@StabYourBrain]

"What really happened here?"
"I don't kno-"
"WHO IS THE COWBOY WHO CONFRONTED JOHNNY AND LARRY THAT NIGHT?!"
"What Cowboy?!"
"IS THE OLD WOMAN IN ON IT TOO?!"

[@irieite9666]

You still haven't told us your explanation for the mysterious behaviour of the barbecue lid. I'm afraid you're under arrest, you have the right to remain confused.

[@scac94]

@@irieite9666 was it really the nanny?

[@ianfinrir8724]

But then how do you explain the bullet hole in his phone?

[@psychomammoth9640]

Best way to confuse someone when bursting into a room to interrogate someone.

[@beige1831]

Can a plant, really, identify a murderer?

[@John_Smith_Dumfugg]

"Sir, please just tell me your order, there's a line forming behind you."

[@halfmoon4163]

ASMR Roleplay: Commander Riker Interrogates You, the Suspicious New Ensign

[@MissMadCherry]

Good one, Mon Capitan

[@sallybradshaw4576]

Nobody expects the Jonathan Frakes inquisition

[@OGFlipperbaby]

this deserves far more upvotes.

[@AAdams456]

😂😂😂

[@NotDuncan]

His chief weapon is fear, fear and surprise!

[@ethanlivemere1162]

@@NotDuncan His two main weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency

[@ClarinoI]

@@ethanlivemere1162 His three main weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to Captain Picard.

[@StrangeQuark]

Her: " I bet he's thinking about other women"
Him: "Can a fertilized octopus egg ingested into the human system actually grow inside the body?"

[@JesusChrist-qw3zt]

First thing I think about when I wake up and last thing I think about before bed. And then every second in between.

[@Amarganeitor]

I bet Japan can answer that question...

[@hawkeye5955]

@@Amarganeitor : Are you a man of culture? 🤔

[@Thecommander248]

Oh God, I wish I could like this comment 100 times.

[@runetide]

Do you think she would be relieved at knowing his true thoughts, or would she wish he had just been thinking about other women?

[@leonc9760]

“Can a plant really identify a murderer?”
-the sunflower is a snitch!

[@Akerfeldtfan]

Putting these on 50-75% speed makes him sound drunk as hell and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[@visiblepixels4632]

Everyone should do this. You will never laugh harder.

[@Nargon46]

Underrated comment, I just tried this and it's thr best thing I've ever watched 😂

[@09razpup]

You can do this on almost any video and it will make it so much funnier

[@captainhobo1234567]

"I can explain--"
"No, you CAN'T, don't even try!"

[@CesarJoseee]

SHUT UP

[@pwnedshift1]

@@CesarJoseee i beg your pardon?

[@CyrusKazan]

@@pwnedshift1 I said shut up! As in close your mouth and stop talking!

[@mikehunt3688]

DrayvenValore Will, I sense how upset you are. You're angry, and impatient.

[@NyscanRohid]

@@mikehunt3688 Back off. Well, would anyone else like to speak up? Or shall we end this charade?

[@coachrenaldo]

“Can a plant really identify a murderer?”
*Cautiously looks at nearby plant*

[@CLxJames]

*Mark Wahlberg in The Happening intensifies*

[@NikeAureliusSnow]

Thank you I fell over reading this 🤣🤣

[@Eurekanation1]

not if they know whats good for them

[@chrisdoucet5064]

Could a human conveniently forget to water a snitch plant? Watch yourself, succulent. You depend on me.

[@peterprime2140]

@@chrisdoucet5064 I love how you chose a plant type that doesn't require much water.

[@udim7284]

He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic (hypnotic...)

[@Oddi0]

Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise

[@chrisrobson5101]

Could you imagine being interrogated and everything he’s just said is pertinent to a conspiracy you’re involved in
“Shit he’s on to me”

[@MrValeska]

*Is it possible that a parrot could give a young girl the will to live?*

[@WTFBOOMDOOM]

A parrot would cure my depression.

[@dndboy13]

almost certain that is a movie

[@Yeiyn343]

Buenos Dias! ;-)

[@CoolDima09]

I heard "parent"

[@LuminousLead]

Reminded of MGS2 now.

[@Z10ZeeTen]

“How was the doctor able to send email without a computer” really puts into perspective how long ago this show aired

[@banskulad4136]

Phone is a computer too hm

[@meavyhetalderzweitegrafvon8240]

@@banskulad4136 phones werent computers in the 90s you dumbfuck

[@EnzeruAnimeFan]

using a smartphone atm and completely forgot it capable of email til you said that (i even just used gmail)

[@banskulad4136]

@@meavyhetalderzweitegrafvon8240 shit dude u right

[@ohnoitschris]

Handheld computers, or PDAs, like the Palm Pilot were new in the 90's. Modern phones are basically just those but better, but we call them phones because that was the original hook in their marketing.

[@MtnMania]

Picard "Welcome to the Enterprise, Ensign. My first Officer, Commander Riker, has some questions for you before you can officially be enlisted..."

[@heathertreadaway6963]

These Jonathan Frakes compilations are just the greatest. Thank you!

[@jones4308]

Alright, Number One, I admit it. I was the cowboy the confronted Johnny and Larry that night. And I would have gotten away with it too if I wasn't for that meddling plant.

[@StabYourBrain]

Yeah, but was the old woman in on it too?

[@nerdiestmaximus]

@@StabYourBrain What about the mysterious behavior of the barbeque lid?

[@frikitiki5403]

Then how do you explain the bullet hole on the phone?

[@mikey7257]

Does this story seem possible?

[@Alex_K221]

Ok but how was the Doctor able to send e-mail without a computer. Was the morgue attendant in on it to?

[@kaarpiv375]

I... Look man, I don't remember much from that day...

[@kaarpiv375]

Hey, I've got no reason to lie to you! I want outta here just as much as you want me out.

[@anarchist135]

I cannot confirm or deny at this time that i saw or did not see mr sikes on the day of the incident

[@bernardenorth]

So that Commander Pike trial still going on huh

[@KZ-hu9uj]

This comment is so good

[@echoplots8058]

Then how do you explain the bullet hole in this phone?

[@HemTheGoblin]

I feel like he ends more conversations than you'd think just suddenly holding a guitar

[@richardlee3679]

I adore all these Jonathan Frakes compilation vids, but there's something about this one that absolutely sends me.
Tears of uncontrollable laughter streaming down my face.

[@GymMasterAlex]

Met Jonathan Frakes at Galaxycon two or so weeks ago. He said he enjoys the Beyond Belief memes. Keep it up.

[@harizotoh7]

Do people go up to him at Cons and just start asking these kind of nonsense questions?

[@GymMasterAlex]

harizotoh7 I mean, maybe? But I asked him about Beyond Belief, and the first thing he mentioned were the memes and how it was crazy that the show was getting popular again because of them, so someone had to have shown them to him.

[@Krystalmyth]

@@harizotoh7 Uh, yeah, kind of what being a fan is all about? It's not like people have any illusions as to suddenly becoming friends with the guy at a Con in one sitting.

[@GymMasterAlex]

Hector If you thought we made this one up, we fooled you. It's fact.

[@HurrikinProductions]

Do you believe that story?

[@Beercorn86]

Frakes: “Could Danny have been hallucinating?”
Me: “Sure, I guess so...”
Frakes: “But if Dan was hallucinating... who ate Hal’s food?”
Me: “Damn it.”

[@jbloun911]

i did

[@Bonesaw_McGraw]

Hahahahaha

[@topramen5344]

The ole bait and switch

[@kristjanpeil]

@@jbloun911 No, *I* am Spartacus!

[@BEEEELEEEE]

@@jbloun911 You liar, it was me

[@MrWhatdafuBOOM]

When the teacher says "Any questions?".

[@conundrum9244]

"Does this story seem possible?"
Commander Riker asking the hard questions.

[@AJamJammy]

It's even more amazing when you imagine that all of this is linked to one single crime.

[@michaelgreenwood3413]

Talk about your overly complicated plans.

[@VineFynn]

Thats the joke

[@irieite9666]

Butch Cassiddy confronted Johnny and Larry but he wasn't truly confronting them he was trying to help them.
An old woman was in on it too her and the cowboy were trying to warn them that their friend Danny had eaten magic mushrooms and was hallucinating.
In his delirium he ate Hals food which was a fertilised Octopus egg.
The mysterious behaviour of the barbecue lid was purely a visual hallucination of Dan's.
The Nanny was a red herring. She told Dan she would go on the mushroom spirit quest with him but she never actually ate her portion.
This story is not just possible Jonathan its true, you just have to think outside the box.
The morgue attendant was in on the deception of Dan, he warned the nanny about some bodies he attended to who had died from a mushroom trip gone wrong.
There were no gases in the milk bucket, the activity was another audio and visual hallucination of Dan's.
The doctor used his phone to send the email.
Yes.
The sewing machine had in fact been possessed by the spirit of Byrons Grandmother.
I don't care what that damn plant is telling you Jonathan it was the octopus not me.
Its very possible that a parrot could give a young girl the will to live.
The sisters husband Dan was not suffering from Amnesia, it was the magic mushrooms how many times must I tell you Jonathan?
The doctor was angry at his folly at sending such an egregious email that he opened fire on his phone.
Yes Jonathan the story is completely true.
You should ask Dan if a fertilised Octopus egg can hatch inside a human body. Oh wait you can't, he is dead from small internal wounds in his intestine.
Now that wraps everything up Jonathan so if I'm not under arrest I think I will be on my way unless you have other eyeball witness statements, an oak tree perhaps.... or maybe a Rose bush ID'd me at the location?

[@AllenGray47]

I almost want to write such a crazy tale

[@JonathanRiverafrickinnice555]

Ace attorney be like:

[@idklol4197]

0:23 he can barely contain his laughter for this one

[@cchrisYouTube]

W

[@captain_hat6247]

I would be cracking up over the “mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid”.

[@bustinarant]

​@@captain_hat6247"is this story... true?"

[@Sh1ranu1]

You’re detained by the police and your either interrogated by Fraie or forced to listen to Columbo ramble about his wife, there is no escape

[@llybophibjartskulr3799]

I have been a huge fan of beyond belief since before Frakes was the host. And this was masterfully done. It's hilarious and I love it. Thank you.

[@xxMpEGxx]

Who was the host before Frakes? I thought it started with him?

[@John231984]

@@xxMpEGxx James Brolin for the first season.

[@John231984]

ua-cam.com/video/NBhpnXrxM5s/v-deo.html&ab_channel=FilmRiseTrueCrime@@xxMpEGxx

[@NoriMori1992]

Huh, I don't think I knew there was a time that Frakes wasn't the host.

[@mcbadrobotvoice8155]

“Do you believe this story?”
I dunno the plant is an unreliable witness

[@andrewgraham6755]

It never happened

[@pentelegomenon1175]

But then how do you explain the bullet hole in this phone?

[@starset4life175]

Is this story true?

[@rockinglucario6877]

Not this time.

[@eieneidnf]

ace attorney trials be like

[@davidjames579]

"How was the doctor able to send an email without a computer?" "Let me explain, Granddad"

[@RED01SEA]

yes how he did it ?!!

[@nilefly]

smart phones are computers

[@scsi_joe]

pretty sure this show aired before smartphones

[@ironberserk2175]

@@scsi_joe exactly

[@scsi_joe]

@@nemo-x I doubt it. The doctor in that story didn't have a cellphone

[@senseweaver01]

Frakes: But if Dan was hallucinating... who ate Hal’s food?
Me: Listen Mr Frakes, are you going to buy the Ford Fiesta or not?

[@n0isyturtle]

"What about the mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid?"
It's such an intriguing line, I wanna know more.

[@McBlah1976]

"But what about the mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid?" I NEED TO HEAR THE REST OF THIS STORY RIGHT NOW

[@Sarah-ei8po]

I freaking died 😂😂😂

[@lexbluecairn6356]

Black Mirror season 6 pitches.

[@DarthDimmadome]

I never suspected myself for a second. I’m that good, and so is Jonathon in finding out the truth.

[@the.seagull.35]

Man I don't know why, but this made me laugh harder than I have in weeks.

[@BeeWaifu]

"Number One, get out of that holodeck! You've been in there for three months!"

[@chrisdoucet5064]

"Waaait, I haven't even gotten around to feeding the crew of Enterprise NX-01 yet!"

[@kristjanpeil]

@@chrisdoucet5064 It's a happy dislike :D

[@SaintDelilah]

I love imagining that this is all part of one whole conspiracy. Some cowboy, suspected to be the nanny shot a mans phone as he was calling the police after he was forcefully fed an octopus egg he thought was medicine for the hallucinations he was having when he thought the barbecue sauce lid was acting strange after inhaling fumes from a milk container. But in reality the doctor never sent out prescriptions for the meds it was the morgue attendant, his sisters husband who faked amnesia for the incident, who was in on it as well. All of this just to steal a mans lunch. And to think they could have gotten away with it had it not been for the plant police informant.

[@miep3934]

This is modern day madlibs

[@rafe7625]

Easy there, Nick. Save it for cross examination against Edgeworth

[@jessebarnes5411]

Dear God the plant all along?

[@Boss_Scaggz]

Thank God the parrot gave the doctor's sister the will to live.

[@minetruly]

That was epic.

[@khogetzu8429]

"I DON'T KNOW MAN! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! 😭"

[@personM4N]

Jonathan Frakes: better get to sleep. Long day tomorrow.
Jonathan Frakes' brain:

[@M2Mil7er]

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

[@Shaznit]

Dammit man, I just commented that and noticed you did already! Bravo!

[@quantumblauthor7300]

*have you ever gone a-wandering beneath the pale blue sky

[@mikespearwood3914]

"Do you like Huey Lewis & The News?"

[@louiscyphre9003]

Not this time.

[@sarahberkner]

"...or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins?"

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

‘The Mysterious behaviour of the barbecue lid” sounds like the title of a Goosebumps book

[@clamoringrisotto]

"Do you believe this story?"
*Plays a sick electric guitar solo*

[@gundammakerworldbreaker6133]

Shake hands with danger

[@Deadralord777]

At .5 speed he sounds like a stoner who just watched an Arthouse film and is asking his friend who isn’t high what all the symbolism and unanswered questions meant

[@natejo82]

Half speed is hilarious! Thanks.

[@bootblacking]

Every Frakes video should be watched at .5 speed

[@literaryloser4470]

@@bootblacking this is like my fourth at half speed it's a spiritual journey

[@levimcglinchey5843]

..w..who ate Hal's food?!

[@GenericInternetter]

Hahahah

[@furryrug5998]

I need a full suite of Jonathan Frakes voiced phone notifications.

[@VijoPlays]

"Is it possible that a parrot could give a young girl the will to live?"
"Hal, I miss you."

[@JimTheCurator]

Frakes: Could a plant really identify a murderer?
Plant: *points his leaf* That's him, mister officer.

[@vgman94]

Jim, the Curator Pirahna Plant’s a snitch! 😨

[@theuniversedoesntcare]

Lrl

[@bamb0ostick]

That plant will probably have to testify in court too.

[@Toxodos]

that's basically how the story actually went, and it was supposed to be a true one lol
Although they hooked it up to a lie detector. Maybe makes a bit more sense, something with pheromones maybe?

[@smithwesson1896]

That barbecue lid kinda sus

[@isaacjohnson9276]

The parrot may or may not have given the little girl the will to live, but this video sure gave me the will to live another day.

[@Igarappappa]

Aw.

[@AquaFan1998]

You cant die until you solve all the mysterys

[@ullgeologist]

These are just a fraction of the hundreds of unanswered questions that keep Jonathan Frakes up at night. Now, I guess we will be tossing and turning tonight too! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Frankabyte]

This is the being who lives inside my head and torments me at three in the morning given human form.

[@Eveablewastaken]

"Can a fertilized octopus egg ingested into the human system actually grow inside the body?"
Sir this is Wendy's

[@BROXBasher]

“Why do you have three barrels of hydrochloric acid?”

[@Chris-cm4wn]

@@BROXBasher ahhh, homework...

[@kingofthegrill]

@@BROXBasher this is hwendy's

[@LuxAeterna22878]

Man, if only working fast food was that exciting.

[@louiscyphre9003]

Do you believe this story?.

[@heyj64]

"Do you serve the Milkman?"
"What is the Milkman's location?"
"What is the mission of the Milkman?"
"What's the Milkman like? Is he nice in person?"
"Why did you punch that little girl?"

[@anarchist135]

No
He’s currently in Portland Oregon
To serve milk and service lonely housewives
Not particularly. He’s always talking about fortnite
She was crying on an airplane. I did it for the greater good

[@Spiritoftherain]

I AM THE MILK MAN. MY MILK IS DELICIOUS.

[@Allomite]

@@Spiritoftherain SPECIAL DELIVERY TODAY

[@ablex7]

@@Spiritoftherain made my day

[@Cleverconveyence]

This is a good ass reference

[@anothercub6958]

The paperwork for this case must be insane

[@marty2489]

Nothing could prepare me for "what about the mysterious behaviour of the bbq lid?"

[@uthertheking]

Was the candle taken over by the spirit of Beverly's grandmother's lover?

[@qwertyious]

Is the candle capable of mind controlling?

[@zanforian]

That episode was the weirdest shit.

[@TheGameGetterKuzuri]

That episode just kinda.......exists. lol

[@8-bitsarda747]

yes

[@StarWarsomania]

Don't laeght thae candle!

[@SagelynSeven]

My search history at 3am.

[@carlbar890]

Underrated 🤣

[@dylanrieck6671]

He'll always be number one in my book

[@pigeonegg1429]

"was the sewing machine taken over by the spirit of byrons grandmother" makes me lose my shit every time

[@andrewpestotnik5495]

"Who could explain the mysterious behavior of the barbecue lid" is pretty funny out of context

[@heliumtrophy]

I keep half expecting to hear him say "Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

[@BigDogCountry]

@@CathrineMacNiel Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

[@yesyesyesyes1600]

Roger!
Roger: Huh?

[@gpowell333]

You ever been in a Turkish prison?

[@jacobwallace4967]

You like movies about gladiators?

[@gabe_s_videos]

Ya ever hang around a gymnasium locker room?

[@justaghostinthesea]

0:37 I like to imagine that the bullethole in the phone is entirely unrelated and has just been giving Johnathon a real headache lately

[@kevburke]

When my wife wasn't paying attention to the movie and refuses to let me just rewind it...

[@Retrostar619]

"Was the sowing machine taken over by the spirit of Byron's grandmother" NGL, that one caught me offguard.

[@alwaysOPEN4business]

Even he couldn't help but smile at the sheer absurdity of that line

[@JiklopDave]

The important question is: did Dr Crusher f*ck the spirit in the haunted sewing machine?

[@haley7571]

*"Can a fertilized egg of an octopus really grow inside the human body?”*
I don’t know john... I don’t know...

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

That sounds like something from some sick hentai...that I never watch...

[@MrSaywutnow]

I recall reading a similar urban myth involving a lobster......

[@thesailormercury2]

@@ExtremeMadnessX or will you ?

[@sulphurous2656]

this is literally the plot of alien

[@POTUSJimmyCarter]

POV: you're in an interrogation room and you're starting to suspect the detective is high as fuck

[@willselley6693]

It sounds like he just watched a David Lynch film.

[@222CBK222]

0:23 He can't even keep a straight face!
Not this time.

[@PoyntFury]

*"Was the sister's husband really the victim of amnesia?"*
Someone got caught cheating.

[@plutarchvonpluto6439]

The sister's husband: Did the past really happened?

[@PsilentMusicUK]

Then how do you explain the bullet hole in his phone?

[@batman6621]

Hes clearly got AmNosia

[@StevenEveral]

This becomes way funnier if you imagine these questions are all part of a single court case.

[@optillian4182]

"Commander Riker, I swear the transporter malfunction was an accident. I had no intention of inserting a fertilized octopus egg into your stomach."

[@shiv_aka_yahia]

Powerful enough to make the innocent confess as guilty.

[@headrockbeats]

"Were there gases trapped within the milk bucket that caused the activity?"
Me: **Holding stomach** ugh, maybe.

[@dreamer2260]

Lol. You milk bucket, you.

[@ds2587]

I was not quite prepared for the last one.

[@GuyDude-hk8uy]

What about the mysterious behaviour... of the barbecue lid?!

[@DoomyMacDoomface]

Mr Frakes, if you harass my client once more with these ridiculous aligations I'll throw enough cruel and unusual treatment violations at your department that it'll make your head spin. Good day, sir.

[@Amalekites]

Allegations*

[@battenburg6089]

FELLOW MAN OF DORSET.

[@FNGLHR]

I DON'T KNOW! OKAY? I DON'T KNOW! STOP PRESSURING ME! *SOBS PROFUSELY*

[@SwordsmanMercenary]

Tell me how many lights you see then...

[@vestige1671]

*shakes you aggressively*
WHO ATE HAL’s FOOD?!

[@Hanzer-ns5bh]

@@SwordsmanMercenary *_THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!_*

[@SwordsmanMercenary]

*Clicks button* "There are five lights!"

[@Anthony-jo7up]

STOP COUNTING! STOP COUNTING!

[@hahhah42speedruns]

"Could a plant really identify a murderer?" Only if it was possessed by the spirit of a stray cat.

[@tamuren1397]

OMG I love that office set. That desk and chair are beautiful!

[@peepance1799]

Play at half speed for a drunken Riker sparking a bar conversation.

[@judyhopps9380]

octopuuuuuuuusssssssssssssss

[@pucktoad]

If Dan was hallucinating...
Who ate Hal's food?

[@lityerambidextrous3668]

God bless this comment

[@joegrimes9232]

My favorite half speed videos to listen to are jeff goldblum. His mode of speech really makes it hilarious

[@WTFBOOMDOOM]

Can a fertilized octopus egg, ingested into the human system, actually grow inside the body?

[@OurBenefactors]

I fucking hope not

[@Jungy_Mungerson]

Total Fabrication

[@TheYakkosnurse]

Nope. Stomach acid will kill it XD

[@zingtea]

A similar event took place.

[@coderefactor7294]

I actually remember that one. Spoiler alert: Fact

[@PrinceWesterburg]

I soooo hope these are all from one episode - Now THAT would be worth coming home to watch on a Friday night!!!

[@emcash7042]

“Could a plant realLy identify a murderer?” 😂😂😂

[@priqq1]

Byron's grandmother sure does have a good sense of humor in the afterlife.

[@irieite9666]

I like how Jonathan is struggling to keep a straight face while saying that one

[@Kain128]

*What about the mysterious behavior of the Barbecue lid?*

[@Azelkiel56]

Who killed Laura Palmer?

[@DrIllegalCarrot]

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case."

[@magic8girl]

‘Is it possible a parrot could give a young girl a will to live’
It’s called having a pet

[@I_Am_Killer_B]

Came into this determined to hear it as a single, continuous line of questioning toward a single event. And it was beautiful.

[@kaijujohnny]

He looks like he’s ready to bust out laughing at any moment but in his mind he is thinking “I need to keep a straight face until the check clears.” 🤣