It really makes you feel like you don’t even have control over who you are. As soon as I open the door I become not myself. When I’m alone I don’t care, I’m hyper and happy I can dance and sing and it feels so natural. When I’m out I’m not natural I feel like I’m playing the part of a basic human. My brain is trying to “survive” but I’m just trynna go get a coffee and socialize. Everyone’s watching me, everyone’s judging me, everyone hates me. My brain can’t even comprehend fully what I’m doing cuz all these feelings are putting my body into fight or flight mode but I can’t express it cuz everything’s “fine” around me. It makes me feel crazy and weird. Like an alien trying to convince myself and everyone else that I’m human. Love the video and you’re not alone in this 👍💖
literally that. at home, I'm not monitoring myself, I act whatever I want and I don't think about any of the actions I do. When I'm out there, it's like someone is watching me above my head, watching every thing I do. At home, I sing, I don't think about how to speak to other members, it just flows. out there a completely different story. everything is like calculated
I only just found the video but I relate to it so much. It's such a weird paradox because I feel crap all the time about anxiety and lack of a social life but when I a out with people I like and even have things in common with I usually just can't wait for it to be over. That's how much social anxiety can mess you up!
Hey, I want you to know you are not alone in your struggle I also have s.a. but don't consider myself an "introvert " it's so frustrating. I also don't do social media anymore , but things will get better . I'm praying for you .I'm glad I found this channel , things will get better i promise. You have such a awesome personality and it's cool your open. Even tho its threw your UA-cam channel it takes alot of courage to put your feelings out there like that . Remember threw every dark night there is a brighter day . I'm looking forward to watching your CONTENT and watching your grow and conquer this . And if it helps I can be your friend 🙂 . Keep your head up ! And let your hair down you have very beautiful hair . ✌
I have got ready to go out, just food shopping and I've had the doubt and just didn't go. Sometimes I can't face people. I was very shy as a child. I am not so bad now, but I still dislike social situations. Even now I will check there is no one outside my home before I go out, even just to put rubbish out. If I HAVE to go out for an appointment I can do it if there is someone outside, but I hate doing it. You are not alone. Although looking at society as it is, does anyone really want to be part of it? People you don't like, people you have nothing in common with? Society sucks!!!
I can completely relate. I comfort myself, tell myself affirmations, etc but once I’m actually out there all of that is forgotten and my brain just starts freaking out and overthinking every little word and facial expression. For me, exposure therapy has been the most helpful. When I force myself to be in anxiety inducing situations and comfort myself afterwards instead of just comforting myself without having done anything, I’ve started to learn that it’s not such a big deal as I once thought. Of course it’s still very difficult but I have been seeing some improvement.
I have social anxiety too. One of the components of it is obviously over thinking. Also what happens is we tend to think so much about how we're feeling . If you change your focus to taking and listening to the other person then you're not thinking enteraly and it blocks out the anxiety caused by focusing too much on your self critical thinking. Social anxiety comes from low self esteem. That's why you're being so hard on yourself and you think that everyone is judging you.
You not the only one who feel like this... it's sad to livw this this...only God can help us....im from South Africa by the way...i trust that God will help me overcome this fear
I totally relate to your struggle. I've suffered from social anxiety for as long as I can remember and even though time goes by, it never seems to get easier. It took me until my junior year of high school to really make any friends and I lost them all after graduation. Now I'm in college and I'm back to being a loner. Everything you mentioned, like the inability to make eye contact, is spot on for me and I feel so defeated. The worst part is, I don't know how I'm going to be successful in the workforce (specifically healthcare bc that's what I'm studying) if I can't even form a conversation with my classmates. Anyway, I appreciate your honesty; I know we can both overcome this even if it seems impossible right now!
It’s a year since you posted this video. You explained your situation perfectly and you are not alone. I hope things have moved to a better place for you.
this was extremely relatable thank u sm for posting, it made me feel very seen that there’s somebody out there who knows exactly how i feel and i just wanted to say that i’m proud of u for trying ur best everyday and that things will get better❤️❤️we’ll get through this
I completely get you I lost loads of friendships over my social anxiety the minute I combated my addiction to alcoholism I realised I had social anxiety the alcoholism masked it now 6 years clean and sober , I’m very much alone and those who came into my life still forget it’s something I suffer with everyday , I completely understand how you feel , it’s hard to even trust , I get sweaty in crowds and I almost feel like I’m being tied up in a knot I find it hard this is something some people do not understand it affects our life’s daily
I both commend and thank you for sharing your experiences with social anxiety. Most of what you said resonated with me, and it allowed me to reflect on my anxiety from a different perspective. One thing that really stuck out to me was your attempts to retrain your beliefs via affirmations and subliminal messaging because wow is it really difficult! Everyone I’ve opened up to about my negative self-image told me to practice positive self-talk by writing as many affirmations to myself as possible. I can tell myself 1000 times that I'm worth something or that people genuinely value me, but it never seems to work. I believe the disconnect between my affirmations, or what I’m trying to believe, and people’s perception and behavior towards me makes it so incredibly hard - but I don’t know at this point; it could only be a guess. And to mention the constant overthinking and undoing my negative core beliefs feels like I’m working 2x, 3x, or even 4x as hard as everyone else that just does it naturally with no effort. It really sucks having this condition and not knowing where it originated from. In the same way as you, I'm not sure if I will ever get to a place where my social anxiety becomes irrelevant and I can start to focus and live my life to the fullest - but just remember (and hopefully don't overthink this too lol) that you're not soft, unlovable, or alone. Someday I hope you’ll feel great about yourself! God bless.
Same here don't worry you not alone sis. What you described is what I'm currently experiencing and as a guy it's worse in the society we live in today but I'm teaching myself exposure to what I fear and it definitely helps. I hope you're feeling better sis, May god bless you ❤
Thank you for this lovely video. You make us feel like we aren't alone. Please keep posting. I would love to watch more of your videos. Sending you a big hug.💕
This is too relatable it's even worse when you know yourself that people just don't care about you or even look at you that much yet the fear and thought is still there who knows how to cure this lol, hope is all well best of luck to you
I can understand your experiences , I feel the same most of the time. For me what i have been doing in my life to combat all this problems is to relate with something that has a scope beyond my self . I read literature and saw movies , not to enjoy them but to be in communion with them. I give you my wish , to become free from all those thoughts that cause you suffering.
only halfway through but this is super relatable like you took the thoughts out my head 😭 i have it too and go to therapy and do affirmations but it’s so difficult to get over it :( sending healing ur way!
and it can take time too finding a good therapist.. gahhhhh im drowning.. anyway anyway I should shush .. sending healing your way too x and thank you for your comment x
Hi, I don't know if I have social anxiety but I find myself understanding a lot of what you are describing and finding it in my own life. I do have a couple of friends but I can tell you that it does not help me that much in making new friendships or acting natural on my own. I am used to being with them and feeling their protection so when I am alone again I feel like a child anyway. I used to feel uncomfortable walking around all the time, a year ago I started going for small walks while in quarantine, first avoiding places I knew people would go to and getting used to it very slowly. It took me at least 4 months going on walks one day or the other but now I don't feel that self-conscious anymore. I guess exposure is the only way to get used to it. I am trying to push myself to go out more in other situations and it still feels very uncomfortable, I guess it takes a lot of time. Thank you for sharing your experience, it was really comforting to hear someone talking about feelings I feel too often. Feeling that vulnerable and incompetent is awful but I guess the first step is to recognise that it is not you, it's just the anxiety, and it's like an illness you are fighting against. You are not supposed to be anyway specific, and I think that accepting that you will feel that way and act that way and accepting it may actually be useful. As for your question when will I ever feel comfortable enough to have my hair out, I asked myself the same, when will have the confidence to try a new haircut and get over the fear of being noticed in ANY way, positive or negative. Well, I cut my hair today aaand I don't really like it that much... BUT! doing it is going to force me to be that person who would do that. I find it so weird that to be the kind of person to do that thing all it takes is just to do the thing. And it is super easy and super hard at the same time. Don't know if that can be useful in any way but I found it interesting. I hope we both will get better, I am taking therapy and it is slowly helping, can't wait to get to the point where being unapologetically ourselves is natural. I wish you the best! Listening to HealthyGamer helped me a lot, he is a psychiatrist that interviewed a lot of people and talked to them, now he does not do interviews much anymore but still posts useful content in my opinion. Here was an interview on social anxiety from a while ago ua-cam.com/video/5n6lDNacfk0/v-deo.html
Thank you for your comment, appreciate your honesty. I'm trying not to label it as an illness, but rather as just the effects or how my brain has been programmed to function for survival due to stressors .. idk thanks for the link!
I'm so glad I found your video! Everything you said describes what I'm going through. When I was in elementary school I was friends with everyone and didn't have a care in the world what anyone thought of me! Then came middle school and I didn't have any classes with my friends so I had to make new but I'm guessing no one wanted to be friends with me. I had lost touch with old friends and they made new one. I didn't grow up with nice clothes nor dress nicely. So I began to think I was weird and no one liked me. I ended up finishing high school 1/2 a semester early because I wanted to avoid them. I also avoided presentations because it made me have panic attacks. I really liked doing hair and went into cosmetology school for 2 years and it was a fail because I also didn't fit the standards that they had at the school of being and out going person. Currently I'm 22 not doing much and I would like to get my degree and pursue into web development. With my S.a its kept me from attending college. I plan to get my degree online but have no money to pay cause its too expensive! My parents had a part of giving me social anxiety. They never let me go out with friends and pressured me to be perfect. So I hate receiving rejection. Iv'e also been over weight my entire life. I feel like if I was at a healthy weight I would be less anxious and more confident. I've struggled to lose weight and I've been thinking of getting surgery to get help to lose weight. If you ever need to talk I have social media but I'm not active on it. :(
My parents controlling af, i feel like i missed my entire teenage experience. I have body image issues too. When i go out i often feel like a vulnerable child. And if there are other girls dressed well and I'm not i automatically feel low self worth. Often i feel like i cant do anything and that makes me psycho.Thank you for your comment.
I literally felt like listening to myself... And part of me felt relieved to know that it's not just me if I may say..i mean I'm 18 and I didn't had any idea about what Im going through and it's recently I found out that it's anxiety... But I don't have anyone to talk to or anything and no ones gonna understand me
I used to be that way now that I'm older I regret not doing certain things, and enjoying certain things....Take it little by little - baby steps go out and enjoy life, get a boyfriend and enjoy the sex, and love, and outdoors, socializing. Trust me if you don't you will wish you did....Do it one day at a time until you are a little comfortable.
Its tough but the best thing is to gain self confidence, go to the gym and the biggest thing is stop comparing yourself to anyone , be happy with who you are.
Yeah bro you are not alone, eye contact is the weirdest thing and it something you just gotta practice…. Take your time, ask questions and keep living and thriving ……
I can totally relate, sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting my life, Like I'm afraid of people. Just recently I turned 21 and I remember that morning I woke up took me a while to get ready then when I finally tried to call one of the guys I like to consider as a friend but clearly not, he couldn't even answer his phone and I just remember laying on my bad just with that fear and also angry at how lonely I was, imagine just thinking of having one friend to call on your 21st birthday. Man walking outside it's like a toucher always thinking if what people are thinking, just think about it for a second why would anyone in their house or car just sit or drive around looking at someone walking, but as much as I like to believe that people are not thinking about me, trust me man it just happens, Like man I'm 21 and I can relate 100% to everything you just said. As I was watching this video I laughed and cried at the same time to just hear how much I relate. I'm always thinking about how i look and how people are seeing me It's like I already have this picture of how I look to someone. It HURTS on God
@@ballgown4life Thanks!, I'm actually starting to notice that I haven't been treating myself kind for quite sometime to the point where I'm I actually forgot how it feels to be happy.
I struggled a lot with intrusive thoughts which contributed to my anxiety. I had a repeated word in my head that added to the stress. When I was able to let go of the word, it got better for me. I felt like there was no more shame because I previously had let the word (a curse word) get to me and cause me shame. Now there’s no more shame and I am feeling more free to get out and about and socialize. I also see that my faith played a significant part in my life ❤ I see and know your pain and feel free to talk or message whenever you need someone to talk to
Check to see if you are a empath because I too suffer from Social anxiety. I am a gifted Medium and I can feel other people's energy and I can see and hear there thoughts really creepy but such a blessing and beautiful Gift.
I have struggled with PTSD,social anxiety, and childhood deprivation the list goes on. The battle of the mind is a war. In that war we need tools an arsenal. These are just what helped me in this long Journey to healing. Trauma is not healed in a single night it is a process. Hope this helps you and someone else today. Stay in the fight don’t give up. These are some books that have helped me through. Some tools. The Body keeps the score the Author Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., Getting past your past Francine Shapiro TPM processing prayer ministers.
I really relate to what you're saying and I feel like i'm struggling with a lot of the same feelings and thoughts that you struggle with. You are not alone with these struggles. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over the fact that you are not yet where you want to be. Life's a journey. A continuous work in progress. Let others be others and you be you. Find out what you really want. You don't have to be anything. You don't have to be good at everything. Work with what you got. You are very well spoken, honest and I think you'll be a great friend, once you are comfortable with a person. You are fine. You are not lesser of a person than anyone else on this world and I hope you know that. I'm curious how you're doing now a year later, would love an update. Hope you're well and wish you all the best.
Still the same, got a job recently and have been able to go outside a few times so I guess that's some improvement but still lots of anxiety and even bathroom issues .. lol.. thank you for your comment
@@ballgown4life Getting a job is a big step, that's great. What type of job? And what type of bathroom issues, like you can't do your thing with others in the bathroom? Cause I'm a shy bathroomgoer myself.. lol
@@ballgown4life may I ask how the interview was for the retail job? thats something im super anxious about, the interview process of getting a job, cause i got no idea waht to say. what kinds of questions did they ask you? how did you respond? how long was the interview? 💕💕
@@juniperslowed it was good. I just pretended honestly. Pretended to act like the perfect version of myself. Interviews are usually like bot questions. They ask you the same questions like, " can you tell me about yourself" etc Somehow in interviews I do a 180 .. I guess it's because I know I'm applying for a job and my goal is to compete anyway.. Fake it! 💕 and dress super nice, it convinces the interviewer to pick you, and you also feel better about yourself.. well hopefully
Extrovert means you gain social energy from social interaction and introvert is when you gain social energy by spending time alone… it’s called recharging your social battery…… I have a bunch of “friends” I consider myself an introvert ……. I experience everything you are experiencing…….. being an introvert doesn’t mean you are socially awkward…. Everyone is socially awkward…… hey! You seem like a pretty cool person!
@@ballgown4life is aigth homie You got this !!!! If you ever feel down reach out . Here to support and encourage the miga . Keep it pushing , your doing amazing .
I kid you not that happened nearly one time when I was out. the migraine was so strong and I couldn't look anywhere I wanted to. I was hiding in my hoodie, and closing my eyes to calm down.
@@ballgown4life god doesn’t hate lol, god loves, so ig god is still watching over your shoulder, making sure nothing happens to you. It takes guts to do some things true. But it doesn’t take guts to call to god whenever you feel, however you feel. Just a small prayer every now and then whenever you feel like it.
Thank you for sharing your experience, beautiful 💕. I relate to so much of what you feel with the struggling to make eye contact and judging myself. One thing someone told me recently is to have grace for myself and I think that's major. People with social anxiety can really beat ourselves when we have awkward interactions. You are a enough and you are changing. Growth isn't linear! Keep talking to God. Eckhart Tolle videos have been helping me a lot. As well as practicing mindfulness. You are not your thoughts. Kudos to you for posting this and being vulnerable. I hope you're doing well!
lmao u bringing up ice poseidon took me back for a second, would never expect u to be a fan just from first appearances. i dont think hes as confident as you think he is though
Hi there, hope you are doing well. I know it can be quite depressing sometimes, especially this time of year. At those times I tend to feel alone more than usual. So I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I hope you find something to cheer you up. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
Mean girls movie...Lindsey Lohan saw all the people in school as animals from the jungle, they would picture it back and forth in the movie. Your probably painting it differently than it sounds.
But what if people who know you see this video?? Are you not afraid or anxious about what they will think? BTW, where are you from? And why didn't you post any video after this?
May God bless you and give strength, peace of mind, and patience to face any situation in life. God is knocking on the door of you heart and wants you to open it for him to take away all you struggle. Ask God to forgive you of your sins, acknowledge that cannot do it a by yourself, and ask that he takes over. Start reading the Bible on a daily basis and pray about everything. Much love and God bless you again❤🙏
Hey there! There is not a single point you discussed here that i can't relate to... From the observation that having friends and living an interesting or even just a normal life gives you confidence in some weird way, to the feeling of anger, disappointment and honestly just utter disbelief towards yourself for still struggling with the same issues you did as a teen. And underneath everything there's the often quiet but always existing feeling that you know you should be enjoying life because you actually love and enjoy many different things, activities and people and you can't understand how that irrational part of you actually holds you back that much from doing the things that matter. I'm writing all this having literally no other clean clothes to wear because for the past 4 days i haven't been able to muster the courage to take my 2 bags downstairs to the washer because i fear i might bump into someone.
I hope you went down stairs. let it be a challenge for you! a mini one. im sure you won't bump into some body and if you do, its okay! if youre having a hard time living by yourself, if possible id suggest moving back into your parents/or closest persons..
But like, the world IS a scary place. Like, I know I'm over exagerating when I am too focused on how are people looking at me, but have you seen their faces? THEY ARE LITTERALY LIKE I: l and it feels like they are judging you. You can add that to the fact that rejection feels so painful and that the brain thinks very differently than the user. Or maybe its just me idk.
I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes. I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨
I too had somewhat serious social anxiety before but then I collected courage to stay in private hostel to work through it far from my home.the brothers in my hostel were quite friendly so socialized with them that made me a little for social person.yeah so you just have to put yourself in situation and journaling the thoughts that I found helpful made me overcome.until then I was just decaying inside my home 🏡🥲🥲
It really makes you feel like you don’t even have control over who you are. As soon as I open the door I become not myself. When I’m alone I don’t care, I’m hyper and happy I can dance and sing and it feels so natural. When I’m out I’m not natural I feel like I’m playing the part of a basic human. My brain is trying to “survive” but I’m just trynna go get a coffee and socialize. Everyone’s watching me, everyone’s judging me, everyone hates me. My brain can’t even comprehend fully what I’m doing cuz all these feelings are putting my body into fight or flight mode but I can’t express it cuz everything’s “fine” around me. It makes me feel crazy and weird. Like an alien trying to convince myself and everyone else that I’m human. Love the video and you’re not alone in this 👍💖
literally that. at home, I'm not monitoring myself, I act whatever I want and I don't think about any of the actions I do. When I'm out there, it's like someone is watching me above my head, watching every thing I do. At home, I sing, I don't think about how to speak to other members, it just flows. out there a completely different story. everything is like calculated
I can definitely relate to this!! I feel like what’s wrong with me sometimes!! My brain is over analyzing 24/7 and it’s so overwhelming .
how could this problem be fixed
Yeah I feel so vulnerable
@@ballgown4life hi where are you from?
Omg it just takes sm courage to even admit u have social anxiety...proud of ya
I only just found the video but I relate to it so much. It's such a weird paradox because I feel crap all the time about anxiety and lack of a social life but when I a out with people I like and even have things in common with I usually just can't wait for it to be over. That's how much social anxiety can mess you up!
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you’re in a better place now! I will pray for you
Hey, I want you to know you are not alone in your struggle I also have s.a. but don't consider myself an "introvert " it's so frustrating. I also don't do social media anymore , but things will get better . I'm praying for you .I'm glad I found this channel , things will get better i promise. You have such a awesome personality and it's cool your open. Even tho its threw your UA-cam channel it takes alot of courage to put your feelings out there like that . Remember threw every dark night there is a brighter day . I'm looking forward to watching your CONTENT and watching your grow and conquer this . And if it helps I can be your friend 🙂 . Keep your head up ! And let your hair down you have very beautiful hair . ✌
I have got ready to go out, just food shopping and I've had the doubt and just didn't go. Sometimes I can't face people. I was very shy as a child. I am not so bad now, but I still dislike social situations. Even now I will check there is no one outside my home before I go out, even just to put rubbish out. If I HAVE to go out for an appointment I can do it if there is someone outside, but I hate doing it. You are not alone. Although looking at society as it is, does anyone really want to be part of it? People you don't like, people you have nothing in common with? Society sucks!!!
I can completely relate. I comfort myself, tell myself affirmations, etc but once I’m actually out there all of that is forgotten and my brain just starts freaking out and overthinking every little word and facial expression. For me, exposure therapy has been the most helpful. When I force myself to be in anxiety inducing situations and comfort myself afterwards instead of just comforting myself without having done anything, I’ve started to learn that it’s not such a big deal as I once thought. Of course it’s still very difficult but I have been seeing some improvement.
I have social anxiety too. One of the components of it is obviously over thinking. Also what happens is we tend to think so much about how we're feeling . If you change your focus to taking and listening to the other person then you're not thinking enteraly and it blocks out the anxiety caused by focusing too much on your self critical thinking. Social anxiety comes from low self esteem. That's why you're being so hard on yourself and you think that everyone is judging you.
You not the only one who feel like this... it's sad to livw this this...only God can help us....im from South Africa by the way...i trust that God will help me overcome this fear
I totally relate to your struggle. I've suffered from social anxiety for as long as I can remember and even though time goes by, it never seems to get easier. It took me until my junior year of high school to really make any friends and I lost them all after graduation. Now I'm in college and I'm back to being a loner. Everything you mentioned, like the inability to make eye contact, is spot on for me and I feel so defeated. The worst part is, I don't know how I'm going to be successful in the workforce (specifically healthcare bc that's what I'm studying) if I can't even form a conversation with my classmates. Anyway, I appreciate your honesty; I know we can both overcome this even if it seems impossible right now!
Small steps of exposure might help n therapy
Each and every day is really a struggle for me. Going out, purchasing something is a really big challenge
I fuckin hate social anxiety
i can relate to this so much. i just hope youre being good to yourselves, that really matters!
It’s a year since you posted this video. You explained your situation perfectly and you are not alone. I hope things have moved to a better place for you.
Still things are the same, thank you for your comment
this was extremely relatable thank u sm for posting, it made me feel very seen that there’s somebody out there who knows exactly how i feel and i just wanted to say that i’m proud of u for trying ur best everyday and that things will get better❤️❤️we’ll get through this
I'm glad you feel heard, thanks and I pray things get better for you x
I completely get you I lost loads of friendships over my social anxiety the minute I combated my addiction to alcoholism I realised I had social anxiety the alcoholism masked it now 6 years clean and sober , I’m very much alone and those who came into my life still forget it’s something I suffer with everyday , I completely understand how you feel , it’s hard to even trust , I get sweaty in crowds and I almost feel like I’m being tied up in a knot I find it hard this is something some people do not understand it affects our life’s daily
I totally relate to you. I constantly overthink everything and I wish I didn't care so much :(
I both commend and thank you for sharing your experiences with social anxiety. Most of what you said resonated with me, and it allowed me to reflect on my anxiety from a different perspective.
One thing that really stuck out to me was your attempts to retrain your beliefs via affirmations and subliminal messaging because wow is it really difficult! Everyone I’ve opened up to about my negative self-image told me to practice positive self-talk by writing as many affirmations to myself as possible. I can tell myself 1000 times that I'm worth something or that people genuinely value me, but it never seems to work. I believe the disconnect between my affirmations, or what I’m trying to believe, and people’s perception and behavior towards me makes it so incredibly hard - but I don’t know at this point; it could only be a guess. And to mention the constant overthinking and undoing my negative core beliefs feels like I’m working 2x, 3x, or even 4x as hard as everyone else that just does it naturally with no effort.
It really sucks having this condition and not knowing where it originated from. In the same way as you, I'm not sure if I will ever get to a place where my social anxiety becomes irrelevant and I can start to focus and live my life to the fullest - but just remember (and hopefully don't overthink this too lol) that you're not soft, unlovable, or alone. Someday I hope you’ll feel great about yourself! God bless.
So relatable!
Same here don't worry you not alone sis. What you described is what I'm currently experiencing and as a guy it's worse in the society we live in today but I'm teaching myself exposure to what I fear and it definitely helps. I hope you're feeling better sis, May god bless you ❤
Thank you for this lovely video. You make us feel like we aren't alone. Please keep posting. I would love to watch more of your videos. Sending you a big hug.💕
I can relate to all of this. I know exactly what you are feeling.
This is too relatable it's even worse when you know yourself that people just don't care about you or even look at you that much yet the fear and thought is still there who knows how to cure this lol, hope is all well best of luck to you
I can understand your experiences , I feel the same most of the time. For me what i have been doing in my life to combat all this problems is to relate with something that has a scope beyond my self . I read literature and saw movies , not to enjoy them but to be in communion with them. I give you my wish , to become free from all those thoughts that cause you suffering.
only halfway through but this is super relatable like you took the thoughts out my head 😭 i have it too and go to therapy and do affirmations but it’s so difficult to get over it :( sending healing ur way!
and it can take time too finding a good therapist.. gahhhhh im drowning.. anyway anyway I should shush .. sending healing your way too x and thank you for your comment x
Hi, I don't know if I have social anxiety but I find myself understanding a lot of what you are describing and finding it in my own life.
I do have a couple of friends but I can tell you that it does not help me that much in making new friendships or acting natural on my own.
I am used to being with them and feeling their protection so when I am alone again I feel like a child anyway.
I used to feel uncomfortable walking around all the time, a year ago I started going for small walks while in quarantine, first avoiding places I knew people would go to and getting used to it very slowly.
It took me at least 4 months going on walks one day or the other but now I don't feel that self-conscious anymore.
I guess exposure is the only way to get used to it.
I am trying to push myself to go out more in other situations and it still feels very uncomfortable, I guess it takes a lot of time.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it was really comforting to hear someone talking about feelings I feel too often.
Feeling that vulnerable and incompetent is awful but I guess the first step is to recognise that it is not you, it's just the anxiety, and it's like an illness you are fighting against.
You are not supposed to be anyway specific, and I think that accepting that you will feel that way and act that way and accepting it may actually be useful.
As for your question when will I ever feel comfortable enough to have my hair out,
I asked myself the same, when will have the confidence to try a new haircut and get over the fear of being noticed in ANY way, positive or negative.
Well, I cut my hair today aaand I don't really like it that much... BUT! doing it is going to force me to be that person who would do that.
I find it so weird that to be the kind of person to do that thing all it takes is just to do the thing.
And it is super easy and super hard at the same time.
Don't know if that can be useful in any way but I found it interesting.
I hope we both will get better, I am taking therapy and it is slowly helping, can't wait to get to the point where being unapologetically ourselves is natural.
I wish you the best!
Listening to HealthyGamer helped me a lot, he is a psychiatrist that interviewed a lot of people and talked to them, now he does not do interviews much anymore but still posts useful content in my opinion. Here was an interview on social anxiety from a while ago
ua-cam.com/video/5n6lDNacfk0/v-deo.html
Thank you for your comment, appreciate your honesty. I'm trying not to label it as an illness, but rather as just the effects or how my brain has been programmed to function for survival due to stressors .. idk
thanks for the link!
I can relate so much - thought I was the only one but you describe exactly everything I experience.
I'm so glad I found your video! Everything you said describes what I'm going through. When I was in elementary school I was friends with everyone and didn't have a care in the world what anyone thought of me! Then came middle school and I didn't have any classes with my friends so I had to make new but I'm guessing no one wanted to be friends with me. I had lost touch with old friends and they made new one. I didn't grow up with nice clothes nor dress nicely. So I began to think I was weird and no one liked me. I ended up finishing high school 1/2 a semester early because I wanted to avoid them. I also avoided presentations because it made me have panic attacks.
I really liked doing hair and went into cosmetology school for 2 years and it was a fail because I also didn't fit the standards that they had at the school of being and out going person. Currently I'm 22 not doing much and I would like to get my degree and pursue into web development. With my S.a its kept me from attending college. I plan to get my degree online but have no money to pay cause its too expensive!
My parents had a part of giving me social anxiety. They never let me go out with friends and pressured me to be perfect. So I hate receiving rejection.
Iv'e also been over weight my entire life. I feel like if I was at a healthy weight I would be less anxious and more confident. I've struggled to lose weight and I've been thinking of getting surgery to get help to lose weight.
If you ever need to talk I have social media but I'm not active on it. :(
My parents controlling af, i feel like i missed my entire teenage experience. I have body image issues too. When i go out i often feel like a vulnerable child. And if there are other girls dressed well and I'm not i automatically feel low self worth. Often i feel like i cant do anything and that makes me psycho.Thank you for your comment.
I think it's the opposite :
you don't have friends because you have social anxiety
i really want to make a friend like me I've never met anyone have social anxiety:(
any way u described the feeling exactly💔 hope u are fine always ♡
I literally felt like listening to myself... And part of me felt relieved to know that it's not just me if I may say..i mean I'm 18 and I didn't had any idea about what Im going through and it's recently I found out that it's anxiety... But I don't have anyone to talk to or anything and no ones gonna understand me
here for you, hope you get the help you need, surround yourself with people
@@ballgown4life thank you so much
I used to be that way now that I'm older I regret not doing certain things, and enjoying certain things....Take it little by little - baby steps go out and enjoy life, get a boyfriend and enjoy the sex, and love, and outdoors, socializing. Trust me if you don't you will wish you did....Do it one day at a time until you are a little comfortable.
Its tough but the best thing is to gain self confidence, go to the gym and the biggest thing is stop comparing yourself to anyone , be happy with who you are.
Nah the best thing is sex
For you to create a video and post it on social media is very good. I can’t even record myself talking in front of a camera 😂.
Yeah bro you are not alone, eye contact is the weirdest thing and it something you just gotta practice…. Take your time, ask questions and keep living and thriving ……
I can totally relate, sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting my life, Like I'm afraid of people. Just recently I turned 21 and I remember that morning I woke up took me a while to get ready then when I finally tried to call one of the guys I like to consider as a friend but clearly not, he couldn't even answer his phone and I just remember laying on my bad just with that fear and also angry at how lonely I was, imagine just thinking of having one friend to call on your 21st birthday. Man walking outside it's like a toucher always thinking if what people are thinking, just think about it for a second why would anyone in their house or car just sit or drive around looking at someone walking, but as much as I like to believe that people are not thinking about me, trust me man it just happens, Like man I'm 21 and I can relate 100% to everything you just said. As I was watching this video I laughed and cried at the same time to just hear how much I relate. I'm always thinking about how i look and how people are seeing me It's like I already have this picture of how I look to someone. It HURTS on God
sending all my love to you
@@ballgown4life Thanks!, I'm actually starting to notice that I haven't been treating myself kind for quite sometime to the point where I'm I actually forgot how it feels to be happy.
@@BoldResilient i forgot how it feels to be happy too
@@ballgown4life It's tough though but Hey! Fuck it, we are all alone in this together even though it's hard to believe
Honestly at least you made it to the post office. I'm freaking out inside.
I relate. I used to have debilitating social anxiety. I hope you are doing better
Thank you. How did you heal?
I struggled a lot with intrusive thoughts which contributed to my anxiety. I had a repeated word in my head that added to the stress. When I was able to let go of the word, it got better for me. I felt like there was no more shame because I previously had let the word (a curse word) get to me and cause me shame. Now there’s no more shame and I am feeling more free to get out and about and socialize. I also see that my faith played a significant part in my life ❤ I see and know your pain and feel free to talk or message whenever you need someone to talk to
Check to see if you are a empath because I too suffer from Social anxiety. I am a gifted Medium and I can feel other people's energy and I can see and hear there thoughts really creepy but such a blessing and beautiful Gift.
I have struggled with PTSD,social anxiety, and childhood deprivation the list goes on. The battle of the mind is a war. In that war we need tools an arsenal.
These are just what helped me in this long Journey to healing. Trauma is not healed in a single night it is a process. Hope this helps you and someone else today. Stay in the fight don’t give up.
These are some books that have helped me through. Some tools.
The Body keeps the score
the Author
Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.,
Getting past your past
Francine Shapiro
TPM processing prayer ministers.
thank you for that. I fall asleep reading to books, but if I can make the time I might watch lol or find an audios
You have such a lovely smile.
I avoid school because I’m so scared of people talking to me or me talking to them
I really relate to what you're saying and I feel like i'm struggling with a lot of the same feelings and thoughts that you struggle with. You are not alone with these struggles. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over the fact that you are not yet where you want to be. Life's a journey. A continuous work in progress. Let others be others and you be you. Find out what you really want. You don't have to be anything. You don't have to be good at everything. Work with what you got. You are very well spoken, honest and I think you'll be a great friend, once you are comfortable with a person. You are fine. You are not lesser of a person than anyone else on this world and I hope you know that. I'm curious how you're doing now a year later, would love an update. Hope you're well and wish you all the best.
Still the same, got a job recently and have been able to go outside a few times so I guess that's some improvement but still lots of anxiety and even bathroom issues .. lol.. thank you for your comment
@@ballgown4life Getting a job is a big step, that's great. What type of job? And what type of bathroom issues, like you can't do your thing with others in the bathroom? Cause I'm a shy bathroomgoer myself.. lol
@@Dyononon literally can't take a dump LOL. Yeah anx is that bad. Its just retail job
@@ballgown4life may I ask how the interview was for the retail job? thats something im super anxious about, the interview process of getting a job, cause i got no idea waht to say. what kinds of questions did they ask you? how did you respond? how long was the interview? 💕💕
@@juniperslowed it was good. I just pretended honestly. Pretended to act like the perfect version of myself. Interviews are usually like bot questions. They ask you the same questions like, " can you tell me about yourself" etc
Somehow in interviews I do a 180 .. I guess it's because I know I'm applying for a job and my goal is to compete anyway..
Fake it! 💕 and dress super nice, it convinces the interviewer to pick you, and you also feel better about yourself.. well hopefully
Extrovert means you gain social energy from social interaction and introvert is when you gain social energy by spending time alone… it’s called recharging your social battery…… I have a bunch of “friends” I consider myself an introvert ……. I experience everything you are experiencing…….. being an introvert doesn’t mean you are socially awkward…. Everyone is socially awkward…… hey! You seem like a pretty cool person!
I think you are too free to think about yourself just do what you love to do
Or do what needs to be done,no shortcuts ez.
I'm getting Solomon the Surmounter vibes watching you.
I also feel like ppl look at me and judge me and I calculate what to do or say
thank you for sharing
Happy new years homie . Another year , another chance.
Happy new year!
@@ballgown4life how was your day homie? You feeling better?
@@bklynoctorious498 yeah kind of
@@ballgown4life is aigth homie You got this !!!! If you ever feel down reach out . Here to support and encourage the miga . Keep it pushing , your doing amazing .
Thanks
Has anyone ever felt like they were gonna pass out or have passed out from that anxiety??
I kid you not that happened nearly one time when I was out. the migraine was so strong and I couldn't look anywhere I wanted to. I was hiding in my hoodie, and closing my eyes to calm down.
Your not alone, god is with you
feels like god hates my guts honestly 🌚
@@ballgown4life god doesn’t hate lol, god loves, so ig god is still watching over your shoulder, making sure nothing happens to you. It takes guts to do some things true. But it doesn’t take guts to call to god whenever you feel, however you feel. Just a small prayer every now and then whenever you feel like it.
I live in a tiny box and I swear all the neighbors are listening to me.
Hey y u deleted all of ur videos😔😔😔
Please upload them back
You’re So beautiful. You should be yourself.
Thank you for sharing your experience, beautiful 💕. I relate to so much of what you feel with the struggling to make eye contact and judging myself. One thing someone told me recently is to have grace for myself and I think that's major. People with social anxiety can really beat ourselves when we have awkward interactions. You are a enough and you are changing. Growth isn't linear! Keep talking to God. Eckhart Tolle videos have been helping me a lot. As well as practicing mindfulness. You are not your thoughts. Kudos to you for posting this and being vulnerable. I hope you're doing well!
lmao u bringing up ice poseidon took me back for a second, would never expect u to be a fan just from first appearances. i dont think hes as confident as you think he is though
not a huge fan lol just a video I saw maybe once..
Informant.
Hi there, hope you are doing well. I know it can be quite depressing sometimes, especially this time of year. At those times I tend to feel alone more than usual. So I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I hope you find something to cheer you up. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
I love you, go out and face your fears. Slay dragons, whats worst could happen, you gonna make it through.
I tried it numerous with that mindset, and it always ended with me wanting to kms lol
Dont strain your body. Use your time on learning apps, psychology, it, math, law etc.
any updates?
We Will get threw this 🙂
Mean girls movie...Lindsey Lohan saw all the people in school as animals from the jungle, they would picture it back and forth in the movie. Your probably painting it differently than it sounds.
same
I wish i could meet uuu
But what if people who know you see this video?? Are you not afraid or anxious about what they will think? BTW, where are you from? And why didn't you post any video after this?
Paint it a different picture in your mind. You see it as a threat. Picture it how you want to in your own mind, it's your control.
May God bless you and give strength, peace of mind, and patience to face any situation in life. God is knocking on the door of you heart and wants you to open it for him to take away all you struggle. Ask God to forgive you of your sins, acknowledge that cannot do it a by yourself, and ask that he takes over. Start reading the Bible on a daily basis and pray about everything. Much love and God bless you again❤🙏
Hey there! There is not a single point you discussed here that i can't relate to... From the observation that having friends and living an interesting or even just a normal life gives you confidence in some weird way, to the feeling of anger, disappointment and honestly just utter disbelief towards yourself for still struggling with the same issues you did as a teen. And underneath everything there's the often quiet but always existing feeling that you know you should be enjoying life because you actually love and enjoy many different things, activities and people and you can't understand how that irrational part of you actually holds you back that much from doing the things that matter. I'm writing all this having literally no other clean clothes to wear because for the past 4 days i haven't been able to muster the courage to take my 2 bags downstairs to the washer because i fear i might bump into someone.
I hope you went down stairs. let it be a challenge for you! a mini one. im sure you won't bump into some body and if you do, its okay!
if youre having a hard time living by yourself, if possible id suggest moving back into your parents/or closest persons..
But like, the world IS a scary place. Like, I know I'm over exagerating when I am too focused on how are people looking at me, but have you seen their faces? THEY ARE LITTERALY LIKE I: l and it feels like they are judging you. You can add that to the fact that rejection feels so painful and that the brain thinks very differently than the user.
Or maybe its just me idk.
you have a hyperactive amygdala from inflammation maybe. might be diet related, i know going on healtheir diets makes me a lot less anxious
Tbh i wish i could meet you and we could help eachoter
Would you ever do a livestream?
for?
@@ballgown4lifeto interact with your subs , maybe it can help whenever you feeling down .
@@squad3059 maybe!
@@ballgown4life yea, that would be nice .
take medication am taking too...
Feel like my Clown is speaking.
You might be interested in #Innerengineering
Love from Hungary ♡
Philosophia
I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes.
I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨
That really was beautiful
we all wish hahahahahahah
Treat life like a game. Is anything really real anyway?
wish it was eassyyyyyyyyyy
Hey homie just checking up on you, is everything okay?
She deleted all her videos...
@@kayla.latrice cos I'm on 4 chan :,)
Hi. Thank you for checking up. I feel pretty shit
@@ballgown4life same here brody, i hate this feeling. Its like bench hurting. Fook that i want positive thougths
Find a routine for going outside.
You feeling better? !
Little bittt
@@ballgown4life im glad you feelin a bit better . What you been up to homie?
@@bklynoctorious498 not much, just chilling, been hard today w toxic fam so i went out to walk, you?
@@ballgown4life i been chilling too. Stay up miga , its good to step out sometimes. Your doing great , keep it up !
Hey homie how you been
Feeling horrible
@@ballgown4life what happened miga ?
@@bklynoctorious498 just feeling horrible about thr past, my failures what I can't do etc
@@ballgown4life ua-cam.com/users/shortsjSkxfT2qzSY?feature=share
Walk outside every now and then.
Try reading about "female autism".
I too had somewhat serious social anxiety before but then I collected courage to stay in private hostel to work through it far from my home.the brothers in my hostel were quite friendly so socialized with them that made me a little for social person.yeah so you just have to put yourself in situation and journaling the thoughts that I found helpful made me overcome.until then I was just decaying inside my home 🏡🥲🥲