I must say that I really love how you respect Rupert's sense of privacy, and blur his face when it's on camera, etc. It's so refreshing to see a baby that is so loved and respected that you don't exploit him for money or internet attention. How wonderful!
I love to see this also, I am mindful to try to always respect my daughter's privacy on my instagram as it is public. I don't always completely hide her face (there are very few pictures where her face is visible or partly visible) now she is older and I can ask her how she feels about it, but being 7 I am mindful to guide her and decide what is ok I would never post a picture of her if she said no though.
I personally decided to only watch people that treat their kids this way. Where the adults are the main characters and it's about *their* life, that just happens to include kids. And whenever the children are in the view, their privacy is kept as much as possible. So thank you Jessica for treating your son this way!!
@@klaraklabel8846 Contrast that to a show in Korea where they legit pro-vlog a family (mostly the dad and his two toddlers) ala The Truman Show, down to the camera placements, which had me raising my eyebrows while my dad watch a video.
Jessica, the most important aspect you did not even mention - the fact that you THOUGHT about being a parent. Most people never even think about it and assume that they would be 'good' parents, without ever thinking about what parenthood entails. I think the biggest gift we could give our children is to be mindful parents who actually consciously think about the actions and thought processes involved in parenthood. In my experience, it does NOT come naturally, it takes conscious effort. I think you and Claudia are wonderful parents.
Exactly this. 99% of why people are bad parents, is that they don’t think through the responsibilities of being parents and plan for it. And have empathy for it. And understand their abilities. And these women do. So, that makes them good parents.
such a good point! i am also really glad sometimes that i'm gonna be a well-thought through parent because me & my coparent are talking through a lot of things before we even get started. and since we're not cis hetero, there is no chance of *oops* babies ^^
If anyone is worried about dropping babies - my able-bodied dad FELL DOWN THE STAIRS while holding baby me and we were both just fine - evidently I really enjoyed sliding down on his stomach!
This is such a painful topic for me. Parenting with disability. My children are grown now (20 and almost 18), but when they were younger, when I first became disabled, people tried to take my children away from me. There was an (erroneous) assumption that me being disabled meant I was automatically a bad mom. So people tried to take my kids... multiple times, multiple different people. I have a non disabled husband who was helping but no one ever asked if my husband was helping with the kids. Or if I was actually able to care for them. There's a lot of biases especially against disabled women in my experience. I hope it is getting better with time. I'm doing my best to advocate against ableism. I know you can be a great mom even with disability. ❤
Sarah Forbes, I am so sorry you had to experience this. People can be so full of assumptions and think they know best instead of first asking questions and really listening and open their minds to a broader view in what is possible for a human being with disabilities who is also a parent.
Both my brother and my Dad have ReSound hearing aids and they have been life-changing for them! It's so nice that they can stream content through their hearing aids from the TV or other devices as it means that the rest of the (non-HOH) family doesn't have to have the TV on so loud! I also have EDS so it is really nice to hear about the ways in which it can be incorporated into parenting and that it can even make you a better parent. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive view of this!
My dad has hearing aids but he still puts the tv and music on way too loud. I also probably need hearing aids and play stuff a bit loud but he plays everything so loud.
as a disabled person who plans on having kids your videos help a lot with showing that although we may not be able to do some things, we also bring other strengths and points of view to raising a kid. love you both and thank you
Omg the worried you would drop him thing I can relate to so much! Right before my best friend had her first baby, my godson, I started dropping things all the time and my shoulders got significantly worse with flares, pain, and weakness. I was so scared I was going to drop him to the point where for like the first couple of months I would only hold him sitting down. And I did need a lot of help then as far as propping and stuff because babies are heavier than you'd think especially when all they're doing is sleeping lol. But by month 4 I was walking holding him with one arm and carrying his bottle or my coke in the other hand. It really surprised me how gradually and how much strength I built up with him. I still could never carry him in his car seat and now that he's 4 I have to sit to hold him and for hugs and stuff but I was capable of more than I thought. She's having baby number 2 in May and I feel a lot less anxiety this time around.
I was VERY worried about dropping my daughter as a baby, but tbh the only time I kind of did, I was sitting down and could immediately feel i was struggling to hold her so let her gently slide down into her pram. She thought it was hilarious 😆 whilst I was hugely relieved that instincts kicked in ok!
Lol. My little cousin wrote “broccoli” as his favorite food on a school assignment when he was 5. And he truly MEANT IT. That’s how you know there’s good parenting and good cooking in the house. Broccoli can be delicious, when made correctly! And also when kids aren’t nonstop fed processed food, natural foods tend to taste naturally yummier. I say this as someone who was raised on cheap fast food and Kraft mac and cheese and gushers candy. And…. In my teens and 20’s I re-trained myself. Detoxed out junk food. Only ate healthy food. And now healthy food tastes DELICIOUS to me. Your palate trains itself to like it’s environment. So yes, they clearly have a healthy environment for him nutritionally. Also-have you ever made oven roasted broccoli coated in oil and a bit of cheese??? Yummmmmm. Tasty even for the veggie-haters.
Hahaha I thought my son was the only one!!!! He's 7 now but even as a toddler he would LOVE broccoli 🥦, a particularly funny moment was during Christmas 🎄 dinner, when me and my son (I was a single parent in poverty at the time due to fleeing domestic abuse), travelled 6 hours via public transport down south to London to stay at my mum's for Christmas week. As well as me, my then 3 year old son and my mum, my stepdad, nan and teenage brother and sister were also round the table having Christmas dinner. My stepdad is an amazing cook and my family always goes BIG when it comes to all things Christmas. Anyway Christmas dinner was served buffet style so we could all dish up our own portions so my son after of getting fed up of me topping up his broccoli with more modest and child friendly portions, he decided to literally pick up the large brown of broccoli put it on his lap and literally eat half the bowl with a fork. He used to have delays in his speech and has a few different learning disabilities (though no intellectual disabilities, IQ is actually above average, though not genius levels) up until the age of 5 he would pronounce broccoli "bock-lee", it was so cute 😁. He also loved and still loves Brussel sprouts, just like his mummy!😁😁
Well... This brought me to tears. I am currently disabled because of my trauma related disorders and ADHD. I am in therapy and on medications and am working hard towards my goal, which is rejoining the workforce in a way that is both rewarding and sustainable. Ideally I would have full financial independence, but we'll have to see. I just feel so helpless all the time. And although the state grants me a (barely) living wage, I hate being dependant. Your video is giving the space to be mild towards myself. I do not have to be "normal" to be a contributing member is society. Even now, people have told me my mere presence brings them joy. I'm childlike in my joy of the world, and I'm generally a happy and bubbly person. So, I feel I do help others, even if I am a burden to society. I really do look up to you. So, thank you for being a beacon light.
That doesn’t make you a burden, we all need help sometimes that’s what the system is there for. We shouldn’t be judged as ppl by our economic activity.
My mom was not that patient to the point my grandma would take me after kindergarten to read at the library because my mom was not interested. So it really does take a village because you never knew what is going to make you lose that patients. I know I say this often in my comments but you both are really a lovely family. And its really nice to see that its possible to be that genuine about it.
Yes, we missed our gorgeous Claudia! I’m so glad y’all are getting away to somewhere warm and sunny. Jessica, I know it’s scary. I have a bit of agoraphobia (had a LOT of it at one point) and always struggle when I have to go somewhere. But I’m nearly always glad I did. I’m rooting for you.
Firstly, it is always like a ray of sunshine to get a notification of a new video of yours! Secondly, I am so glad that you made this video! I know you were dealing with some insecurities around this topic, so it is great to share your positive thoughts on it with others and definitely for you to have them. Also: Yay, Claudia!
Rupert is so lucky to have two mothers that are loving and willing to consider his perspective for where he is at right now in his development. Especially blessed to have parents that not only love him, but can also model a healthy love.
This filled me with hope and joy, i have depression and i think this way of looking at disability will help me when i become a mum one day, thank you xx
Came to this channel years ago because of a video on deafness, stayed because the content is amazing, and today I laughed when I saw that this video’s sponsor is GN ReSound! I’m currently a second year AuD (doctor of audiology) student in America and I work with ReSound hearing aids all the time. Glad to see you’re loving them and getting good benefit from them, Jessica! (The rechargeable case is one of my favorite features, too!)
It’s amazing to see the positive you’ve found with raising Rupert We had a little giggle at the gymnastics suggestion 😅 And it was nice to see Walter. And we missed seeing Claudia
I'm an autistic mum. My 8mo daughter also has sensory issues and I can recognize when and why something is bothering her. I can also communicate well without words.
Hi! I am A blind early childhood educator in Los Angeles. My specialty is an infant and toddlers, and I’ve been doing this for about six years. If any of your people have any questions feel free to ask!
Do toddlers take advantage of your disability? I’ve had adults take advantage of my disabilities when it’s convenient for them , so I’m worried about that.
@@Angi3_6 it is true that children tend to model after there parents. But from what I’ve experienced I haven’t had issues with children taking advantage of my disability. Actually, they think really helpful! For example picking up things for me and stuff. But if I did feel like I was being taken advantage of, I gently, but firmly tell them why that’s not OK. And usually, I have my kids from age zero. so they are conditioned differently from other children. Thank you for your question!
@@seekingabsolution1907 overall child care. From 0 to 1 years old, I am responsible for feeding, changing diapers, nap times, and reading books. (I memorize the picture books for the children) from 1- 3 years old, I am responsible for potty training, teaching the alphabet both in Korean, and English. I teach shapes through wooden blocks, also the alphabet in the same manner. Colors are a little difficult… But I usually delegate that to children’s shows. They tend to shout out the colors when they appear on the screen, so I don’t have to do them myself!And if the parents have any developmental questions, I answer them. I think the biggest question the parents asked me is when they’re about two years old. What to do about constipation. Because, for some odd reason children tend to have serious constipation around this age. KIWIS! Kiwis are always in the house because of this reason. Lol!
Claudia’s hair looks amazing! You guys are amazing parents. I find it really helpful to see another disabled person as a parent, because I really want a family but don’t know how best to adapt things for my disability
Absolutely gather as much info as you can, I'm sure you will. I naively thought that I would be able to get help with community support and aids as a disabled parent but was brushed off by social services ("we cannot fund your need to parent your daughter" was their response!) and they said because there were no safeguarding issues they wouldn't offer any help with parenting support at all. The community OTs really wanted to help but said they had no access to any products at all for helping disabled parents (I struggled with baby baths as a big one), we custom made our own changing table to best suit me changing her whilst in my chair (although I often just changed her on the sofa) we adapted a seatbelt for her to sit safely on my lap on my powerchair for trips out as a toddler and older. There is more available now, even just 7 years on and disabled parenting groups on facebook too.
First of all, you two are ADORABLE! I also found that sign language was extremely helpful with small children. I stumbled upon it by accident, looking for kids' shows and found a show called Signing Time, which was made by a mom whose child was born deaf and they all learned sign language to communicate. However, since I barely knew any sign language (well ASL in my case... BSL? is slightly different? I know milk is the same now, haha), we mostly only used words... milk, all done (for eating)... a few others. We still use a few signs and I love it that as long as I can get their eye contact, I can talk to them instead of attempting to yell when they're far away. It also helps during meltdowns when my kids can't seem to be able to form words and especially my youngest will sign, usually just no when I ask if they want a hug or something.
After a round of Covid last year, I now have a new perspective on life. I was very ill for a couple of weeks, on a ventilator for 7 days, and when I came to my senses again, I couldn't walk on my own. With much help from physical therapy I was able to walk again after a few days, and miraculously back to work 2 weeks after that. It's not a disability per se, but it made me realize how others with physical disabilities might have it on a daily basis.
Different disabilities but I can relate so much to my years as a parent and grandad. Patience with children is definitely one of my strengths and somehow getting to their level. P. S. Always good to see my favourite UA-cam parents.
This was such a video of good cheer for me today. My daughter is 7 now and I have been disabled for over 20 years. I expect I had much the same fears as Jessica, but I have also found my disability to be a huge plus in terms of applying my personal experience to my parenting. I know my partner was quite anxious about my physical parenting abilities when we were expecting her, probably more so than me and I know others were as well. But I am certainly the more patient parent lol She is now being assessed for Autism spectrum and here again my experience of my own neurology is helping a great deal in terms of sharing with her my experiences and things that have helped me (although I am not autistic myself I have a neurological disability and have features similar to her). One lovely thing too is as a wheelchair user we have had years of joyful trips out with her on my lap - it's been one of her favourite things to do ever and we're all a bit sad now that she's too big to sit on my lap in my chair anymore! But LOTS of wonderful memories and since we were able to until she was 6 I'm hopeful it will stay with her as a lovely memory. We have had some really difficult times especially when she was a newborn, my body had not yet learnt or had built the muscle strength needed. When I get on the floor I have to crawl and pull myself up on furniture to get up again, I'm pretty slow, but I believe it has also taught her patience as well (some of the time lol!) I was always absolutely determined that she should never be a carer for me (I am in NO way criticising families with young carers) it just didn't feel right for us, but with that, she regularly offers to help me with things and I'll accept if I think it will bring her joy to help out (she offers to help her dad too). We've very much co-parented since she was born and as Jessica and Claudia said with their parenting, we divide up the parenting 'jobs'/roles according to who is best able to do them and that very much works both ways! I will take any opportunity to do art and crafting with her, also baking and making costumes. Her dad will be the one to take her to the park (sometimes we all go), or on hill walks, hikes etc, we all play games together, take it in turns to do the school run (unless I'm too ill that day), read with her, have imagination play with her etc. She loves it all. We love it all. We are struggling with a lot in our lives, my health, our housing, my mobility equipment, my ability to do my self employed design work, my regular hospital treatment, money etc. It's overwhelming at times and also easy to personally feel we are failing, especially as we are only just learning about ASD and trying to access services and finding that a huge struggle in itself. Again my own experiences of struggling to access the support I needed for myself over a long period of time have taught me (unfortunately) the resilience and tenacity required when trying to access support. We are so blessed despite the struggles we have and being parents is profoundly wonderful. I second that being disabled brings many benefits to parenting. Thank you Jessica and Claudia and everyone here sharing x
You are a good Mom. Your daughter will have good memories of her childhood. She will remember being with you, feeling cared for and having fun with you. The fact that she offers to help, shows that you are raising a beautiful, thoughtful child. Sending you positive energy!
"Being messy is not a disability." LOL, something my family could definitely use against me (I'm simultaneously the only physically disabled and most disorganized person in my family, and I don't even have Jessica's memory issues as an excuse).
Claudia you were missed. You and Jessica are the bright spots in our lives. Jessica you are a wonderful disabled Mom. My mother was disabled by polio and she fought all her life to overcome. Thank you for continuing the progress!❤️🤶🏻
I think you’re both great mums and you make a great family, and love seeing Claudia in this video. I do love how respect Rupert’s privacy and let him choose when he can if he wants to also. I did enjoy this video a lot and love the three of you so much and love watching your videos. Thank you so much for doing this video and bringing to our attention that motherhood is not scary but you have to learn how to look after a child.
Such a wonderful video. I am also disabled with an autoimmune disease I have Systemic Lupus, Demyelization of the nerves, a blood clotting disorder, and I broke my back falling while sleepwalking due to weakened bones from a bone infection.5 years ago. I now have rods from S1 to T 12 that's a lot of metal. I now use a wheelchair, but can walk with a walker or cane but only for short distances in my home. It's nice to see disabilities being spoken about in a honest up front way but also with grace and being able to see the positives while dealing with a negative situation. Thank you for sharing. Take care ladies and hug that little lad for me he is adorable. I have 2 children who are young adults now, ugh I feel old. 🙂 Take care everyone, and thank you for posting such a honest positive video.
I have the same fears being a disabled person wanting kids when I was younger I wondered if I could even have kids then I wondered if I would find a could find love and how it would go with me raising a baby. Now I don't have as much worry about it anymore you guys give me hope
my friends and i just watched this together and noticed a good point in your favour too. Being a disabled parent means you are going to be ON IT if Rupert needs additional care in his life, and you'll be understanding of how important it is to push and inquire into EHCP's at school and quality of care, etc.
Also I don't know how it works in the UK, but if their child needs particular care at school and the person is absent, Jessica would have the flexibility to keep their child home for the day if needed. Instead of feeling pressure to send them anyway because their child has no where else to go. Making sure your child has the resources they are entitled to is important. And, if the school sees that you're willing to waive your right to them temporarily if someone is briefly unavailable, well then they might be unavailable a lot more often. as the school starts considering them fit to sub for others who call in. Sure the IEP says your child needs care, but so does the other child. And your child survived last time without it so... Of course America is the country where giving your child fever reducers so you can successfully send them to school while sick is common enough that it's practically a meme. The country and state that is so excited to have me apply for a substitute teaching license having completed more than the minimum 2 years of college. Apparently they're always hiring in my area, and waived the requirements down to high school diploma for the rest of this school year. America is not okay, and I hope the UK government post-Brexit doesn't manage to follow in our footsteps too closely. I know I'm rambling, I just don't want anyone else to have to live like this. Maybe if people like me keep warning others, they'll pay more attention to politics. They'll manage to keep their healthcare from being sold out to our corporations. Manage to keep further deregulation at bay. Here's the title of the NPR article that made me want to cry today "Lawmakers are rewriting rules as schools grapple with teacher shortages". As much as I want to help people, and develop skills that are also relevant to my field of study, I'm terrified of being expected to be my students everything. What happens if I get a month assignment to a class that doesn't have a regular teacher, because so many who left the field never returned? How do you administer insulin to a student properly? Sure the nurse is supposed to train the unlicensed personnel before delegating tasks, but what happens if the shortage gets worse? Do I ask an older student? Call an ambulance? Pray that insulin pumps are popular enough that I never run into this situation? All these worries about something I only plan on doing for a year. Don't let where you live become like Kansas. The business friendly environment they promise isn't worth the pain.
Claudia is always lovely and it is fun to see Jessica and her talk about amusing stories. Jessica you have so much to give Rupert he has two wonderful Mothers.
As a disabled person-I love this video. Not loving that you’re disabled, but you share such good positive education about disabilities and living differently abled. Thanks for sharing.
Sometimes I forget she's deaf and think Jessica's blind?? Her speaking is so well attended to that she can speak without hearing it and that's just mind boggling to me. Like, it's very very difficult to maintain, but she does it so well.
I really love the emphasis on empathy, cause even when people talk about being patient with children it sounds like being patient _at_ a child rather than empathizing _with_ the child I think this is also the right path that leads to things like being able to apologize to your child and being respectful towards them, which are both so so important
Thanks for making this video, it's great to be reminded of how your disability/chronic illness experience can make you better as a parent! It warmed my heart! Sometimes I forget it and only see the negatives, or the assumptions of others in particular. I have complex ptsd and very limited energy. I have a 12 yo and a 15 yo, who of course have other needs than a baby or toddler, but I still think my illness helps me help my kids in many ways, especially in handling emotions and teen/tween drama and difficulties. But when I read/hear about certain things, like an article I read recently about a person growing up with neglect and abuse, and the article ended saying so and so many children grow up with mentally ill parents, without any further comment or explanation, that's tough. That stigma is real. Yes, mental illness can make you a bad parent, but so can a lot of other things, and it can just as well make you better.
My dad had undiagnosed ADHD (so was never treated) and this made him turbulent and irresponsible with a quick temper and a tendency to get frustrated very quickly. I have autism and I inherited a couple of things, but treatment and management, have made it so much harder for me to get frustrated. I designed my life around my needs and he ignored his own. Basically, treatment was so stigmatized that it created a problem of neglect, neglecting his own issues and ignoring mine, trying to teach me to neglect myself and my needs. He thinks I have it easy, but he doesn't understand the hoops I go through to make it easy. He works harder and I have to work smarter. But even though he did his best, I am going to use him as a lesson in how to not be a father. Unfortunate as it is, there's a lot of factors at play in those situations and to blame it on an illness is far too convenient
@@ahhh4117 how have you decided that his ADHD *made him* irresponsible? neurotypicals can be irresponsible & quick-tempered, and not everybody with ADHD is, so how do you determine that his ADHD “made him” that way?
@@lithiumkid I have 6 siblings, only my little brother (who does have ADHD) and I struggle with keeping commitments and remembering important things. The quick temper comes from being under/over stimulated. We learned to maneuver ourselves knowing our limits. My dad never did, but like I said there is a lot of factors at play and it's more than just ADHD. Like I said it would be convenient to blame my father's problems on the ADHD, but its not reality
@@lithiumkid yeah he was shítty for other reasons I'm not going specify because I'm not comfortable talking about it with strangers. It's also not relevant to the point of discussion which is disability and parenthood
Hey. Never doubt what you do doesn't matter. You two, talking about for family, your love and understanding. It helped me. It helps me to understand what it is to be loved, it helps me to understand what it is to be a partner, it help ls me to what to what a parent is. If you see this message on a lonely day I hope you do. This video helped me. I hope this message helps you too.
Not sure if anyone has put out a different perspective but I am not disabled however my mum is with MS and I can whole heartedly say that her being in a wheelchair didn't stop her and still doesn't from her being an amazing mother. Yes she might have difficulties here and there but we make adjustments. One of my favourite memories is when she brought one of those buggy boards(essentially a skateboard) that's meant to go on the back of buggies but she put it on the back of her wheelchair so I would stand on the back of that so she knew that I was always with her when we went to the park and it was super fun. I grew up as normal by going to the park with my mum. She was always a normal mum but she had a wheelchair. That was literally the only difference, I can see how a disability can come with some challenges as a parent however as the kid raised by a disabled parent I promise you we are willing to help you adapt and just find you awesome anyway
Another benefit to rechargeable hearing aids is the absence of button batteries - which can be lethal within hours if swallowed (usually by babies or toddlers). Just found your channel, thanks for sharing your journey as parents Jessica and Claudia ❤️. You have a complementary & btful energy together
Yay Hi Claudia :) I love my resound hearing aid too, it is such a life saver. (And my hearing friends are very jealous of the noise canceling option in noisy cafes LOL) Thank you for another brilliant video and your lovely family of 5
Yup, everything in this video is why it's so much easier, and so fascinating and *fun*, to parent while disabled with young kids. Unfortunately once they get more independent ~7yo it starts getting worse in many ways. Toddlers love helping, teens hold grudges & if you think it's hard explaining to friends why you can't do what you did yesterday try it with an angry 12yo!
@@lithiumkid you'd think so 😆 chronic health problems tend to fluctuate and get worse with time. When my eldest was born I could still work full time for up to 9mo at a time and my down periods were just a month or so. 17yrs later my normal looks like my down periods and the bad spots can last over a year. We're still trying to find a way to get me stable enough we can start to adapt from a severe downturn over a year ago that hasn't ended but it's clear my new normal is much lower in spoons. Right now I'm getting 3 a day and that's not enough to care for myself but there's not suddenly a 3rd adult who can step in and help.
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 i know they fluctuate and worsen, i’ve had several for a decade. i just feel like i can’t imagine that being the case for the vast majority of kids. it wasn’t for me, my four siblings, or my two cousins. if things change do you not update them as they need to know? could you not simply explain to them that it may get worse? obvi it may still upset them but i can’t imagine kids deliberately being difficult about it and straight up refusing to help their own ill parent when needed unless the relationship is terrible or the kid is indiscriminately kind of callous and unsympathetic. edit to add: also, even though chronic health problems tend to get worse and/or fluctuate, that doesn’t at all mean that those ages you listed are going to go the way you’ve described for her or the people in the comments.
Hooray, Claudia! I think a lot of people have fears about parenthood, and that these fears latch on to any excuse (I'm too young/old, disabilities, work or relationship issues, money, etc). Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and helping people to realize that they can pursue parenthood, even if they do have to approach it in a unique way.
Empathy isn't just the ability to emotionally engage it means being able to find the best ways to teach and communicate. Sort of expanding on the learning of limitations, I imagine another benefit is you have learnt to ask for help.
Your uses of signing, and comprehension of communication limitations reminds me of my experiences with (what used to be diagonstically called) Asperger's. It makes me super-conscious of the transitory phase between having a thought, and finding a means to communicate that thought. It was a big motivator for me to major in illustration, but it wasn't until I was 33 that I realized that for communication to "work", accurately expressing your thoughts is half the battle, and you have to articulate (or draw, or any other former of expression) in a way that the recipient of the message can understand. That taught me about everyday communication, what makes a "strong illustration" "strong", and also it showed me that if I felt such powerful gender dysphoria, most people would recognize me as a cis man unless I could somehow communicate (visually) my nor being cis. That whole thing about the transitory phase between thought and effective communication also makes me particularly empathic to those faced with communication barriers. Be they animals, children, adults, with speech impediments, language barriers, etc.. I have a friend with extreme anxiety issues, a thick accent, and English is his second language. When he gets frenetic, nobody can understand saying else, so I gradually help him slow down. And breathe. And breathe again. Letting him calmly string together in English what he's trying to say.
Though you already have a great way of handling Rupert learning all the things for the first time, if you haven’t read it before, I think you might like the Fable about How Elephants got their Trunks. It’s an interesting enough story for kids but I think it also has a good lesson for adults on learning to be patient with children before getting annoyed when they ask questions so they feel comfortable asking adults they can trust.
The thing you guys mentioned about signing is also common in babies from multiracial couples who speak different languages! I have a relative (black) who married a Japanese woman, and when he speaks to their son in Japanese the son would always respond in English, but when his wife speaks to him in English, the son would always respond in Japanese. They do eventually grow out of this stage, but its interesting to see how even babies can pick up on the difference between life long skills and learned skills in their parents!
Totally late to commenting, but thank you so much for making this video. I'm not physically disabled, but mental illness has made life for me very challenging. And as I get older and becoming a parent seems like a more possible thing, I've found myself terrified of falling short as a mother. Hearing you talk about your disabilities as an asset to parenting is so reassuring.
I have some eaaarly memories as a baby & I was not patient. I often felt trapped and that I should be able to explore the world without limits *in reference to Claudia saying babies are patient 😆 Though Rupert may be!! :)
I just discovered your channel. I absolutely love your style and the educational videos you share. You and your wife are so cute together! And some of your disabilities are similar to mine. Definitely subbing to you! You two keep doing you and congratulations on your little guy!
I'm disabled and am desperate to one day have kids. I'm definitely fostering and/or adopting rather than having my own and my way of prepping is that my current job is providing consistent nurturing care to foster kids in their school. My next step would maybe to become a residential foster carer in a home so i can have that experience of csring round the clock while still getting the breaks I need, and also kids in those settings tend to be higher needs so if I can deal with them I can deal with anything is my theory. Fingers crossed that one day i have a partner and stable enough health and home to bring a kiddo or 2 in!
I must say that I really love how you respect Rupert's sense of privacy, and blur his face when it's on camera, etc. It's so refreshing to see a baby that is so loved and respected that you don't exploit him for money or internet attention. How wonderful!
I love to see this also, I am mindful to try to always respect my daughter's privacy on my instagram as it is public. I don't always completely hide her face (there are very few pictures where her face is visible or partly visible) now she is older and I can ask her how she feels about it, but being 7 I am mindful to guide her and decide what is ok I would never post a picture of her if she said no though.
I was just about to comment the same!
I personally decided to only watch people that treat their kids this way. Where the adults are the main characters and it's about *their* life, that just happens to include kids. And whenever the children are in the view, their privacy is kept as much as possible.
So thank you Jessica for treating your son this way!!
Agreed. As much as I’d love to see him (we all know he’s adorable), he can’t consent to that yet, and he deserves that respect!
@@klaraklabel8846 Contrast that to a show in Korea where they legit pro-vlog a family (mostly the dad and his two toddlers) ala The Truman Show, down to the camera placements, which had me raising my eyebrows while my dad watch a video.
Jessica, the most important aspect you did not even mention - the fact that you THOUGHT about being a parent. Most people never even think about it and assume that they would be 'good' parents, without ever thinking about what parenthood entails. I think the biggest gift we could give our children is to be mindful parents who actually consciously think about the actions and thought processes involved in parenthood. In my experience, it does NOT come naturally, it takes conscious effort. I think you and Claudia are wonderful parents.
Absolutely this. They chose to be parents, thought about it, and did it when they were ready.
Exactly this. 99% of why people are bad parents, is that they don’t think through the responsibilities of being parents and plan for it. And have empathy for it. And understand their abilities. And these women do. So, that makes them good parents.
So true! Wish I had this type of full love- instead of having a child just because youre expected to.
such a good point! i am also really glad sometimes that i'm gonna be a well-thought through parent because me & my coparent are talking through a lot of things before we even get started. and since we're not cis hetero, there is no chance of *oops* babies ^^
If anyone is worried about dropping babies - my able-bodied dad FELL DOWN THE STAIRS while holding baby me and we were both just fine - evidently I really enjoyed sliding down on his stomach!
I fell down stairs at 1 years old or so, I was fine as far as we know
This exact thing happened to me too. my dad fell down the stairs with me as a baby. He was bruised badly, but otherwise ok, and I was totally fine.
Same!! I'm a little weird, but otherwise completely fine!
The ability to CATCH a baby is what really counts
My dad tripped UP the stairs holding my sister! He sprained his ankle. She thought it was hilarious. I think she was about 8 months old.
Captions are ready! Thank you for your patience
For those waiting, the auto captions are working really well on this one for me so far 🤣
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 I agree!
Where did you get the pop socket on your phone
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 same!
Thank you for always taking the time to make descriptive captions, Jessica!
This is such a painful topic for me. Parenting with disability. My children are grown now (20 and almost 18), but when they were younger, when I first became disabled, people tried to take my children away from me. There was an (erroneous) assumption that me being disabled meant I was automatically a bad mom. So people tried to take my kids... multiple times, multiple different people. I have a non disabled husband who was helping but no one ever asked if my husband was helping with the kids. Or if I was actually able to care for them. There's a lot of biases especially against disabled women in my experience. I hope it is getting better with time. I'm doing my best to advocate against ableism. I know you can be a great mom even with disability. ❤
Sarah Forbes, I am so sorry you had to experience this. People can be so full of assumptions and think they know best instead of first asking questions and really listening and open their minds to a broader view in what is possible for a human being with disabilities who is also a parent.
We always miss Claudia! Her dry, British humor is fabulous.
I'm also disabled and have been working really hard to try to get to a point where I can have kids. Videos like this mean the world to me.
Me too 🥺 I hope you get that. We can do this 💛
Same. I’ve know I wanted to be a mum longer than I know that I was disabled.
Absolutely same!!!
Same here. I still get scared though because my most prominent symptom is chronic vertigo so.......😳
Same same same!! Disabled mom representation for the win! 💞
Both my brother and my Dad have ReSound hearing aids and they have been life-changing for them! It's so nice that they can stream content through their hearing aids from the TV or other devices as it means that the rest of the (non-HOH) family doesn't have to have the TV on so loud!
I also have EDS so it is really nice to hear about the ways in which it can be incorporated into parenting and that it can even make you a better parent. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive view of this!
My dad has hearing aids but he still puts the tv and music on way too loud. I also probably need hearing aids and play stuff a bit loud but he plays everything so loud.
as a disabled person who plans on having kids your videos help a lot with showing that although we may not be able to do some things, we also bring other strengths and points of view to raising a kid. love you both and thank you
Omg the worried you would drop him thing I can relate to so much! Right before my best friend had her first baby, my godson, I started dropping things all the time and my shoulders got significantly worse with flares, pain, and weakness. I was so scared I was going to drop him to the point where for like the first couple of months I would only hold him sitting down. And I did need a lot of help then as far as propping and stuff because babies are heavier than you'd think especially when all they're doing is sleeping lol. But by month 4 I was walking holding him with one arm and carrying his bottle or my coke in the other hand. It really surprised me how gradually and how much strength I built up with him. I still could never carry him in his car seat and now that he's 4 I have to sit to hold him and for hugs and stuff but I was capable of more than I thought. She's having baby number 2 in May and I feel a lot less anxiety this time around.
I was VERY worried about dropping my daughter as a baby, but tbh the only time I kind of did, I was sitting down and could immediately feel i was struggling to hold her so let her gently slide down into her pram. She thought it was hilarious 😆 whilst I was hugely relieved that instincts kicked in ok!
The arrow pointing at you saying "clumsy adult" lol. Love your sense of humour. That boy is very lucky to have such funny parents.
This might be the first time that a parent has said that their baby wants too much broccoli
It's Jessica and Claudia's baby! Of course he loves broccoli ☺️
mine use to adore cucumber and then when she turned 2 wouldn't touch it ever again 😆
@@Non_auro_sed_ferro_recuperanda Are you lost?
Lol. My little cousin wrote “broccoli” as his favorite food on a school assignment when he was 5. And he truly MEANT IT. That’s how you know there’s good parenting and good cooking in the house.
Broccoli can be delicious, when made correctly! And also when kids aren’t nonstop fed processed food, natural foods tend to taste naturally yummier. I say this as someone who was raised on cheap fast food and Kraft mac and cheese and gushers candy. And…. In my teens and 20’s I re-trained myself. Detoxed out junk food. Only ate healthy food. And now healthy food tastes DELICIOUS to me. Your palate trains itself to like it’s environment. So yes, they clearly have a healthy environment for him nutritionally.
Also-have you ever made oven roasted broccoli coated in oil and a bit of cheese??? Yummmmmm. Tasty even for the veggie-haters.
Hahaha I thought my son was the only one!!!! He's 7 now but even as a toddler he would LOVE broccoli 🥦, a particularly funny moment was during Christmas 🎄 dinner, when me and my son (I was a single parent in poverty at the time due to fleeing domestic abuse), travelled 6 hours via public transport down south to London to stay at my mum's for Christmas week. As well as me, my then 3 year old son and my mum, my stepdad, nan and teenage brother and sister were also round the table having Christmas dinner. My stepdad is an amazing cook and my family always goes BIG when it comes to all things Christmas. Anyway Christmas dinner was served buffet style so we could all dish up our own portions so my son after of getting fed up of me topping up his broccoli with more modest and child friendly portions, he decided to literally pick up the large brown of broccoli put it on his lap and literally eat half the bowl with a fork.
He used to have delays in his speech and has a few different learning disabilities (though no intellectual disabilities, IQ is actually above average, though not genius levels) up until the age of 5 he would pronounce broccoli "bock-lee", it was so cute 😁.
He also loved and still loves Brussel sprouts, just like his mummy!😁😁
”No mother, use your voice”
Hahaha I missed Claudia’s humor so much 😂🥰
I am disabled and am due to have my planned c section tomorrow. I have to say that I'm quite nervous, but so excited about meeting our baby boy 💜 xx
Congratulations xxx
@@bethm9384 thankyou very much!!
Yay, Claudia! I missed you terribly! I hope you'll both have an amazing holiday ❤
Her hair looks great doesn't it? 💖
Well... This brought me to tears. I am currently disabled because of my trauma related disorders and ADHD. I am in therapy and on medications and am working hard towards my goal, which is rejoining the workforce in a way that is both rewarding and sustainable. Ideally I would have full financial independence, but we'll have to see. I just feel so helpless all the time. And although the state grants me a (barely) living wage, I hate being dependant. Your video is giving the space to be mild towards myself. I do not have to be "normal" to be a contributing member is society. Even now, people have told me my mere presence brings them joy. I'm childlike in my joy of the world, and I'm generally a happy and bubbly person. So, I feel I do help others, even if I am a burden to society. I really do look up to you. So, thank you for being a beacon light.
*sending hugs*. You sound like a wonderful person. I truly hope you reach your goals of healing. You deserve to.
That doesn’t make you a burden, we all need help sometimes that’s what the system is there for.
We shouldn’t be judged as ppl by our economic activity.
Being disabled has given me a lot resilience. When you are put in a world that doesn't work for you, you become much more adaptable.
My mom was not that patient to the point my grandma would take me after kindergarten to read at the library because my mom was not interested. So it really does take a village because you never knew what is going to make you lose that patients. I know I say this often in my comments but you both are really a lovely family. And its really nice to see that its possible to be that genuine about it.
Rupert has the funniest, coolest, most loving mums. Lucky kid.
Yes, we missed our gorgeous Claudia! I’m so glad y’all are getting away to somewhere warm and sunny. Jessica, I know it’s scary. I have a bit of agoraphobia (had a LOT of it at one point) and always struggle when I have to go somewhere. But I’m nearly always glad I did. I’m rooting for you.
Firstly, it is always like a ray of sunshine to get a notification of a new video of yours! Secondly, I am so glad that you made this video! I know you were dealing with some insecurities around this topic, so it is great to share your positive thoughts on it with others and definitely for you to have them. Also: Yay, Claudia!
Rupert is so lucky to have two mothers that are loving and willing to consider his perspective for where he is at right now in his development. Especially blessed to have parents that not only love him, but can also model a healthy love.
This filled me with hope and joy, i have depression and i think this way of looking at disability will help me when i become a mum one day, thank you xx
I think so many elderly would need those hearing aids! I feel like most often the ordinary hearing aids don’t even work.
Came to this channel years ago because of a video on deafness, stayed because the content is amazing, and today I laughed when I saw that this video’s sponsor is GN ReSound! I’m currently a second year AuD (doctor of audiology) student in America and I work with ReSound hearing aids all the time. Glad to see you’re loving them and getting good benefit from them, Jessica! (The rechargeable case is one of my favorite features, too!)
I'm a deaf parent, with twins born a month after Rupert! I've loved following you guys :)
of course we missed you claudia 🙏 the two of you have such a wonderful dynamic to watch and it's always great to see you together
It’s amazing to see the positive you’ve found with raising Rupert
We had a little giggle at the gymnastics suggestion 😅
And it was nice to see Walter.
And we missed seeing Claudia
He’s so big! The three of you are adorable and I’m glad to see you guys. Stay safe and happy!
I was expecting you to say that between more patience and deafness, you were the expert at dealing with him when he's cranky and crying!
I'm an autistic mum. My 8mo daughter also has sensory issues and I can recognize when and why something is bothering her. I can also communicate well without words.
Hi! I am A blind early childhood educator in Los Angeles. My specialty is an infant and toddlers, and I’ve been doing this for about six years. If any of your people have any questions feel free to ask!
Do toddlers take advantage of your disability? I’ve had adults take advantage of my disabilities when it’s convenient for them , so I’m worried about that.
@@Angi3_6 it is true that children tend to model after there parents. But from what I’ve experienced I haven’t had issues with children taking advantage of my disability. Actually, they think really helpful! For example picking up things for me and stuff. But if I did feel like I was being taken advantage of, I gently, but firmly tell them why that’s not OK. And usually, I have my kids from age zero. so they are conditioned differently from other children. Thank you for your question!
What duties do parents usually hire you for?
@@seekingabsolution1907 overall child care. From 0 to 1 years old, I am responsible for feeding, changing diapers, nap times, and reading books. (I memorize the picture books for the children) from 1- 3 years old, I am responsible for potty training, teaching the alphabet both in Korean, and English. I teach shapes through wooden blocks, also the alphabet in the same manner. Colors are a little difficult… But I usually delegate that to children’s shows. They tend to shout out the colors when they appear on the screen, so I don’t have to do them myself!And if the parents have any developmental questions, I answer them.
I think the biggest question the parents asked me is when they’re about two years old. What to do about constipation. Because, for some odd reason children tend to have serious constipation around this age. KIWIS! Kiwis are always in the house because of this reason. Lol!
¿Do they try to describe things to you after being told you're blind?
¿And how do you tell them?
Claudia’s hair looks amazing! You guys are amazing parents. I find it really helpful to see another disabled person as a parent, because I really want a family but don’t know how best to adapt things for my disability
Absolutely gather as much info as you can, I'm sure you will. I naively thought that I would be able to get help with community support and aids as a disabled parent but was brushed off by social services ("we cannot fund your need to parent your daughter" was their response!) and they said because there were no safeguarding issues they wouldn't offer any help with parenting support at all. The community OTs really wanted to help but said they had no access to any products at all for helping disabled parents (I struggled with baby baths as a big one), we custom made our own changing table to best suit me changing her whilst in my chair (although I often just changed her on the sofa) we adapted a seatbelt for her to sit safely on my lap on my powerchair for trips out as a toddler and older. There is more available now, even just 7 years on and disabled parenting groups on facebook too.
First of all, you two are ADORABLE!
I also found that sign language was extremely helpful with small children. I stumbled upon it by accident, looking for kids' shows and found a show called Signing Time, which was made by a mom whose child was born deaf and they all learned sign language to communicate. However, since I barely knew any sign language (well ASL in my case... BSL? is slightly different? I know milk is the same now, haha), we mostly only used words... milk, all done (for eating)... a few others. We still use a few signs and I love it that as long as I can get their eye contact, I can talk to them instead of attempting to yell when they're far away. It also helps during meltdowns when my kids can't seem to be able to form words and especially my youngest will sign, usually just no when I ask if they want a hug or something.
Claudia could definitely manage a wall stand
After a round of Covid last year, I now have a new perspective on life. I was very ill for a couple of weeks, on a ventilator for 7 days, and when I came to my senses again, I couldn't walk on my own. With much help from physical therapy I was able to walk again after a few days, and miraculously back to work 2 weeks after that. It's not a disability per se, but it made me realize how others with physical disabilities might have it on a daily basis.
Different disabilities but I can relate so much to my years as a parent and grandad. Patience with children is definitely one of my strengths and somehow getting to their level.
P. S. Always good to see my favourite UA-cam parents.
This was such a video of good cheer for me today. My daughter is 7 now and I have been disabled for over 20 years. I expect I had much the same fears as Jessica, but I have also found my disability to be a huge plus in terms of applying my personal experience to my parenting. I know my partner was quite anxious about my physical parenting abilities when we were expecting her, probably more so than me and I know others were as well. But I am certainly the more patient parent lol She is now being assessed for Autism spectrum and here again my experience of my own neurology is helping a great deal in terms of sharing with her my experiences and things that have helped me (although I am not autistic myself I have a neurological disability and have features similar to her). One lovely thing too is as a wheelchair user we have had years of joyful trips out with her on my lap - it's been one of her favourite things to do ever and we're all a bit sad now that she's too big to sit on my lap in my chair anymore! But LOTS of wonderful memories and since we were able to until she was 6 I'm hopeful it will stay with her as a lovely memory. We have had some really difficult times especially when she was a newborn, my body had not yet learnt or had built the muscle strength needed. When I get on the floor I have to crawl and pull myself up on furniture to get up again, I'm pretty slow, but I believe it has also taught her patience as well (some of the time lol!) I was always absolutely determined that she should never be a carer for me (I am in NO way criticising families with young carers) it just didn't feel right for us, but with that, she regularly offers to help me with things and I'll accept if I think it will bring her joy to help out (she offers to help her dad too). We've very much co-parented since she was born and as Jessica and Claudia said with their parenting, we divide up the parenting 'jobs'/roles according to who is best able to do them and that very much works both ways! I will take any opportunity to do art and crafting with her, also baking and making costumes. Her dad will be the one to take her to the park (sometimes we all go), or on hill walks, hikes etc, we all play games together, take it in turns to do the school run (unless I'm too ill that day), read with her, have imagination play with her etc. She loves it all. We love it all. We are struggling with a lot in our lives, my health, our housing, my mobility equipment, my ability to do my self employed design work, my regular hospital treatment, money etc. It's overwhelming at times and also easy to personally feel we are failing, especially as we are only just learning about ASD and trying to access services and finding that a huge struggle in itself. Again my own experiences of struggling to access the support I needed for myself over a long period of time have taught me (unfortunately) the resilience and tenacity required when trying to access support. We are so blessed despite the struggles we have and being parents is profoundly wonderful. I second that being disabled brings many benefits to parenting. Thank you Jessica and Claudia and everyone here sharing x
You are a good Mom. Your daughter will have good memories of her childhood. She will remember being with you, feeling cared for and having fun with you. The fact that she offers to help, shows that you are raising a beautiful, thoughtful child. Sending you positive energy!
"Being messy is not a disability." LOL, something my family could definitely use against me (I'm simultaneously the only physically disabled and most disorganized person in my family, and I don't even have Jessica's memory issues as an excuse).
I too am a handicapable parent. About time people realized all things, all people can sometimes see the positives first.
Jessica isn’t “handicapable”, she literally made an entire video on why she self identifies as disabled
You two are the best mommies! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
They're so cute. I love how calm they are
Claudia you were missed. You and Jessica are the bright spots in our lives. Jessica you are a wonderful disabled Mom. My mother was disabled by polio and she fought all her life to overcome. Thank you for continuing the progress!❤️🤶🏻
I think you’re both great mums and you make a great family, and love seeing Claudia in this video. I do love how respect Rupert’s privacy and let him choose when he can if he wants to also. I did enjoy this video a lot and love the three of you so much and love watching your videos. Thank you so much for doing this video and bringing to our attention that motherhood is not scary but you have to learn how to look after a child.
Yay, Claudia is back!
And you two are so lovely together how you play to each other's strengths.
Such a wonderful video. I am also disabled with an autoimmune disease I have Systemic Lupus, Demyelization of the nerves, a blood clotting disorder, and I broke my back falling while sleepwalking due to weakened bones from a bone infection.5 years ago. I now have rods from S1 to T 12 that's a lot of metal. I now use a wheelchair, but can walk with a walker or cane but only for short distances in my home. It's nice to see disabilities being spoken about in a honest up front way but also with grace and being able to see the positives while dealing with a negative situation. Thank you for sharing. Take care ladies and hug that little lad for me he is adorable. I have 2 children who are young adults now, ugh I feel old. 🙂 Take care everyone, and thank you for posting such a honest positive video.
I love seeing you two together, you’re such interesting contrasts to each other which creates a great chemistry 😀
I genuinely missed awesome wife/mom/person named Claudia. She is fun and totally relatable. Plus both lesbian moms is always better than one!
I have the same fears being a disabled person wanting kids when I was younger I wondered if I could even have kids then I wondered if I would find a could find love and how it would go with me raising a baby. Now I don't have as much worry about it anymore you guys give me hope
Hi Jessica, would you be interesting in making a video about FOMO and disability? I would really be interested in hearing your perspective on this!
my friends and i just watched this together and noticed a good point in your favour too. Being a disabled parent means you are going to be ON IT if Rupert needs additional care in his life, and you'll be understanding of how important it is to push and inquire into EHCP's at school and quality of care, etc.
Also I don't know how it works in the UK, but if their child needs particular care at school and the person is absent, Jessica would have the flexibility to keep their child home for the day if needed. Instead of feeling pressure to send them anyway because their child has no where else to go. Making sure your child has the resources they are entitled to is important. And, if the school sees that you're willing to waive your right to them temporarily if someone is briefly unavailable, well then they might be unavailable a lot more often. as the school starts considering them fit to sub for others who call in. Sure the IEP says your child needs care, but so does the other child. And your child survived last time without it so... Of course America is the country where giving your child fever reducers so you can successfully send them to school while sick is common enough that it's practically a meme. The country and state that is so excited to have me apply for a substitute teaching license having completed more than the minimum 2 years of college. Apparently they're always hiring in my area, and waived the requirements down to high school diploma for the rest of this school year.
America is not okay, and I hope the UK government post-Brexit doesn't manage to follow in our footsteps too closely. I know I'm rambling, I just don't want anyone else to have to live like this. Maybe if people like me keep warning others, they'll pay more attention to politics. They'll manage to keep their healthcare from being sold out to our corporations. Manage to keep further deregulation at bay.
Here's the title of the NPR article that made me want to cry today "Lawmakers are rewriting rules as schools grapple with teacher shortages". As much as I want to help people, and develop skills that are also relevant to my field of study, I'm terrified of being expected to be my students everything. What happens if I get a month assignment to a class that doesn't have a regular teacher, because so many who left the field never returned? How do you administer insulin to a student properly? Sure the nurse is supposed to train the unlicensed personnel before delegating tasks, but what happens if the shortage gets worse? Do I ask an older student? Call an ambulance? Pray that insulin pumps are popular enough that I never run into this situation? All these worries about something I only plan on doing for a year.
Don't let where you live become like Kansas. The business friendly environment they promise isn't worth the pain.
Claudia is always lovely and it is fun to see Jessica and her talk about amusing stories. Jessica you have so much to give Rupert he has two wonderful Mothers.
I adore the way Jessica's mood gradually brightens up as the video continues on 😄
Yay! Claudia’s back!
As a disabled person-I love this video. Not loving that you’re disabled, but you share such good positive education about disabilities and living differently abled.
Thanks for sharing.
This is so encouraging to hear as a fellow migraine and chronic pain warrior. Thank you for sharing!! Have fun on vacation!
You both are glowing!! Glad you're so happy❤
As an Audiologist I can also say they're fab too 😀
Sometimes I forget she's deaf and think Jessica's blind?? Her speaking is so well attended to that she can speak without hearing it and that's just mind boggling to me. Like, it's very very difficult to maintain, but she does it so well.
The way you fall looks like one of the dancing tube men at car dealerships
I really love the emphasis on empathy, cause even when people talk about being patient with children it sounds like being patient _at_ a child rather than empathizing _with_ the child
I think this is also the right path that leads to things like being able to apologize to your child and being respectful towards them, which are both so so important
Thanks for making this video, it's great to be reminded of how your disability/chronic illness experience can make you better as a parent! It warmed my heart! Sometimes I forget it and only see the negatives, or the assumptions of others in particular. I have complex ptsd and very limited energy. I have a 12 yo and a 15 yo, who of course have other needs than a baby or toddler, but I still think my illness helps me help my kids in many ways, especially in handling emotions and teen/tween drama and difficulties. But when I read/hear about certain things, like an article I read recently about a person growing up with neglect and abuse, and the article ended saying so and so many children grow up with mentally ill parents, without any further comment or explanation, that's tough. That stigma is real. Yes, mental illness can make you a bad parent, but so can a lot of other things, and it can just as well make you better.
My dad had undiagnosed ADHD (so was never treated) and this made him turbulent and irresponsible with a quick temper and a tendency to get frustrated very quickly.
I have autism and I inherited a couple of things, but treatment and management, have made it so much harder for me to get frustrated. I designed my life around my needs and he ignored his own.
Basically, treatment was so stigmatized that it created a problem of neglect, neglecting his own issues and ignoring mine, trying to teach me to neglect myself and my needs. He thinks I have it easy, but he doesn't understand the hoops I go through to make it easy. He works harder and I have to work smarter. But even though he did his best, I am going to use him as a lesson in how to not be a father.
Unfortunate as it is, there's a lot of factors at play in those situations and to blame it on an illness is far too convenient
@@ahhh4117 how have you decided that his ADHD *made him* irresponsible? neurotypicals can be irresponsible & quick-tempered, and not everybody with ADHD is, so how do you determine that his ADHD “made him” that way?
@@lithiumkid I have 6 siblings, only my little brother (who does have ADHD) and I struggle with keeping commitments and remembering important things. The quick temper comes from being under/over stimulated.
We learned to maneuver ourselves knowing our limits. My dad never did, but like I said there is a lot of factors at play and it's more than just ADHD. Like I said it would be convenient to blame my father's problems on the ADHD, but its not reality
@@ahhh4117 seemed like you were indeed saying the ADHD was to blame at certain points
@@lithiumkid yeah he was shítty for other reasons I'm not going specify because I'm not comfortable talking about it with strangers.
It's also not relevant to the point of discussion which is disability and parenthood
Seriously turn on notifications for this channel! It stopped showing up for me until I turned on notifications
The fact that baby boy is asking for more brocoli..Go Rupert!
I just found you and I am so happy. You had me at vintage…💖💖
Hey. Never doubt what you do doesn't matter. You two, talking about for family, your love and understanding. It helped me. It helps me to understand what it is to be loved, it helps me to understand what it is to be a partner, it help ls me to what to what a parent is. If you see this message on a lonely day I hope you do. This video helped me. I hope this message helps you too.
Not sure if anyone has put out a different perspective but I am not disabled however my mum is with MS and I can whole heartedly say that her being in a wheelchair didn't stop her and still doesn't from her being an amazing mother. Yes she might have difficulties here and there but we make adjustments. One of my favourite memories is when she brought one of those buggy boards(essentially a skateboard) that's meant to go on the back of buggies but she put it on the back of her wheelchair so I would stand on the back of that so she knew that I was always with her when we went to the park and it was super fun. I grew up as normal by going to the park with my mum. She was always a normal mum but she had a wheelchair. That was literally the only difference, I can see how a disability can come with some challenges as a parent however as the kid raised by a disabled parent I promise you we are willing to help you adapt and just find you awesome anyway
Both my parents had cerebral palsy and were great parents! Such a lovely video 💖
My cat also loves when I lie down on the floor next to her
I always miss you Claudia! You ladies are a great team!
You two are so beautiful together ❤️ you make me smile! Both amazing mothers xx 😘
I can't stress enough how lovely these video updates are for me as a woman with Ehlers-Danlos who is terrified of the idea of having kids.
So good to hear that being disabled helps to understand your child better. This gives hope that I will be a mother one day, too.
Another benefit to rechargeable hearing aids is the absence of button batteries - which can be lethal within hours if swallowed (usually by babies or toddlers).
Just found your channel, thanks for sharing your journey as parents Jessica and Claudia ❤️. You have a complementary & btful energy together
Yay Hi Claudia :)
I love my resound hearing aid too, it is such a life saver. (And my hearing friends are very jealous of the noise canceling option in noisy cafes LOL)
Thank you for another brilliant video and your lovely family of 5
We do love Claudia joining ❤️
Oh, I love this video so much! It's so nice to acknowledge the pros of being a disabled parent!
Yup, everything in this video is why it's so much easier, and so fascinating and *fun*, to parent while disabled with young kids. Unfortunately once they get more independent ~7yo it starts getting worse in many ways. Toddlers love helping, teens hold grudges & if you think it's hard explaining to friends why you can't do what you did yesterday try it with an angry 12yo!
i don’t understand, wouldn’t the kid already know why because you’ve been open and explained it to them their entire life?
@@lithiumkid you'd think so 😆 chronic health problems tend to fluctuate and get worse with time. When my eldest was born I could still work full time for up to 9mo at a time and my down periods were just a month or so. 17yrs later my normal looks like my down periods and the bad spots can last over a year. We're still trying to find a way to get me stable enough we can start to adapt from a severe downturn over a year ago that hasn't ended but it's clear my new normal is much lower in spoons. Right now I'm getting 3 a day and that's not enough to care for myself but there's not suddenly a 3rd adult who can step in and help.
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 i know they fluctuate and worsen, i’ve had several for a decade. i just feel like i can’t imagine that being the case for the vast majority of kids. it wasn’t for me, my four siblings, or my two cousins. if things change do you not update them as they need to know? could you not simply explain to them that it may get worse? obvi it may still upset them but i can’t imagine kids deliberately being difficult about it and straight up refusing to help their own ill parent when needed unless the relationship is terrible or the kid is indiscriminately kind of callous and unsympathetic.
edit to add: also, even though chronic health problems tend to get worse and/or fluctuate, that doesn’t at all mean that those ages you listed are going to go the way you’ve described for her or the people in the comments.
Hooray, Claudia!
I think a lot of people have fears about parenthood, and that these fears latch on to any excuse (I'm too young/old, disabilities, work or relationship issues, money, etc). Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and helping people to realize that they can pursue parenthood, even if they do have to approach it in a unique way.
Jessica and claudia are so adorable
this was such a lovely video and it definitely gave off that ‘boost’! it made me so happy!! 😊
Empathy isn't just the ability to emotionally engage it means being able to find the best ways to teach and communicate. Sort of expanding on the learning of limitations, I imagine another benefit is you have learnt to ask for help.
Your uses of signing, and comprehension of communication limitations reminds me of my experiences with (what used to be diagonstically called) Asperger's. It makes me super-conscious of the transitory phase between having a thought, and finding a means to communicate that thought. It was a big motivator for me to major in illustration, but it wasn't until I was 33 that I realized that for communication to "work", accurately expressing your thoughts is half the battle, and you have to articulate (or draw, or any other former of expression) in a way that the recipient of the message can understand. That taught me about everyday communication, what makes a "strong illustration" "strong", and also it showed me that if I felt such powerful gender dysphoria, most people would recognize me as a cis man unless I could somehow communicate (visually) my nor being cis.
That whole thing about the transitory phase between thought and effective communication also makes me particularly empathic to those faced with communication barriers. Be they animals, children, adults, with speech impediments, language barriers, etc.. I have a friend with extreme anxiety issues, a thick accent, and English is his second language. When he gets frenetic, nobody can understand saying else, so I gradually help him slow down. And breathe. And breathe again. Letting him calmly string together in English what he's trying to say.
Its incredibly addicting and relaxing to watch. I discovered this channel today and I already watched 50% of the vids
Really appreciate this. I'm trying to conceive right now and have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia so I've been a bit worried about how I'll cope.
Rupert trying to sign for milk made me giggle.
Though you already have a great way of handling Rupert learning all the things for the first time, if you haven’t read it before, I think you might like the Fable about How Elephants got their Trunks. It’s an interesting enough story for kids but I think it also has a good lesson for adults on learning to be patient with children before getting annoyed when they ask questions so they feel comfortable asking adults they can trust.
The thing you guys mentioned about signing is also common in babies from multiracial couples who speak different languages! I have a relative (black) who married a Japanese woman, and when he speaks to their son in Japanese the son would always respond in English, but when his wife speaks to him in English, the son would always respond in Japanese. They do eventually grow out of this stage, but its interesting to see how even babies can pick up on the difference between life long skills and learned skills in their parents!
thats so incredible ive never understood exaclty how hearing aids worked and seeing all these cool wee additions is so facinating
Totally late to commenting, but thank you so much for making this video. I'm not physically disabled, but mental illness has made life for me very challenging. And as I get older and becoming a parent seems like a more possible thing, I've found myself terrified of falling short as a mother. Hearing you talk about your disabilities as an asset to parenting is so reassuring.
Claudia I indeed missed you a lot! When the two of you are in a video together the atmosphere is so lovely!
My favorite family!! Love you guys so much!!
Can't have missed Claudia because I was rewatching a LOT of old videos with both of you in them... :D
You all work with each other so well.
Thank you for sharing your family life with us.
It's so much fun Watchung you grow and change.
It’s so adorable watching you three all interact as a family ❤️
I have some eaaarly memories as a baby
& I was not patient. I often felt trapped and that I should be able to explore the world without limits
*in reference to Claudia saying babies are patient 😆
Though Rupert may be!! :)
I just discovered your channel. I absolutely love your style and the educational videos you share. You and your wife are so cute together! And some of your disabilities are similar to mine. Definitely subbing to you! You two keep doing you and congratulations on your little guy!
of course we missed claudia!! you two give me so much hope for a happy queer and disabled future for myself
I love your energy together
I'm disabled and am desperate to one day have kids. I'm definitely fostering and/or adopting rather than having my own and my way of prepping is that my current job is providing consistent nurturing care to foster kids in their school. My next step would maybe to become a residential foster carer in a home so i can have that experience of csring round the clock while still getting the breaks I need, and also kids in those settings tend to be higher needs so if I can deal with them I can deal with anything is my theory. Fingers crossed that one day i have a partner and stable enough health and home to bring a kiddo or 2 in!