The Worst Homebrew MAGIC ITEMS on D&D Beyond

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  • Опубліковано 5 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @JDP5127
    @JDP5127 3 місяці тому +3289

    I think the best part of the Daggers of Desecration is that they instant kill whoever you hit, but then you have to fight a tarrasque. And if you want to use them to kill the tarrasque, you summon another one.
    TLDR, you can turn any enemy into a tarrasque.

    • @omegat-6007
      @omegat-6007 3 місяці тому +329

      The knife could be great if it breaks after a single use, like, yeah you could kill anything... but then you have a tarrasque in your face

    • @LunarMuphinz
      @LunarMuphinz 3 місяці тому +326

      The dagger of Desecration is the perfect tool! use it only any problem, BOOM, now you have a different problem!

    • @Veellinn
      @Veellinn 3 місяці тому +105

      Repeat until whole world is covered in dead tarrasque.

    • @pedrohenrique-et3fs
      @pedrohenrique-et3fs 3 місяці тому +55

      thats a lot of xp

    • @anastasijahabarova1533
      @anastasijahabarova1533 3 місяці тому +127

      Player: Maaan, fighting this [creature] sucks! I wish we were fighting something else instead…
      DM: Boy do I have an item for you!

  • @Drekal684
    @Drekal684 3 місяці тому +2369

    Ah, shoot, misplaced my knife... I'll just use this dagger to -
    *reduces steak to dust, and suddenly has a tarrasque sitting on the plate*

    • @maxxcreese9911
      @maxxcreese9911 3 місяці тому +63

      At least you know they really undercooked your steak!😂

    • @xCCflierx
      @xCCflierx 3 місяці тому +86

      If you successfully eat a tarrasque it will technically give you infinite calories. That's way more than just a steak. That's a profit in my book.

    • @SaneAcorn2389
      @SaneAcorn2389 3 місяці тому +10

      @@xCCflierxor it’ll kill you

    • @luciencartervo5356
      @luciencartervo5356 3 місяці тому +10

      Waow, new pet

    • @heinshaaine8153
      @heinshaaine8153 3 місяці тому

      You should just give it as a gift to some noble you want to fuck over

  • @breakfastisoverrated8351
    @breakfastisoverrated8351 3 місяці тому +4590

    Wondrous Item, Legendary
    (requires attunement)
    Ring of Fire Detection
    Range: Touch

    • @Echs_D33
      @Echs_D33 3 місяці тому +167

      Could be useful to detect a disguised giant maybe? Possibly?

    • @hshot2000
      @hshot2000 3 місяці тому +148

      I tuned my own one of these perfectly through the rigorous process of pancake making

    • @RobertNowagarski
      @RobertNowagarski 3 місяці тому +14

      I need this

    • @EhmJB
      @EhmJB 3 місяці тому +82

      I mean, it's still way better than my Ring of Non-Magical Fire Detection - it's only got a range of Self. ☹️

    • @Brass319
      @Brass319 3 місяці тому +37

      paperweight (metal)
      wonderous item, artifact
      this small metal statue depicts a knight wielding a sword and shield

  • @scrapbotcommander
    @scrapbotcommander 3 місяці тому +549

    I love to imagine a campaign with the sword of effects that runs something like One Punch Man, where the party one shots any boss they beat in initiative order.
    Then they reach the very end of the campaign, confronting Malfurious the Malevolent, the BBEG. "Surely he'll fall all the same, just like the rest of them." That's when they realized...
    Malfurious is a commoner.

    • @thisspaceforrent5737
      @thisspaceforrent5737 3 місяці тому +78

      A commoner (assassin), no less.

    • @kameron1130
      @kameron1130 3 місяці тому +60

      Commoner 1, Sorcerer 19

    • @CrazyLikeUhFox
      @CrazyLikeUhFox 3 місяці тому +19

      No greater injustice in this world than this not being top comment

    • @rg5580
      @rg5580 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@kameron1130The nefarious commoner dip:

  • @TheWoodlandFellowship
    @TheWoodlandFellowship 3 місяці тому +2106

    "Aarons triple bladed greataxe morningstar jackhammer spiky lance rapier scimitar short sword javelin hammer trident war pick sword" = man-sized Swiss Army Knife

    • @tehdarkswordsman6863
      @tehdarkswordsman6863 3 місяці тому +106

      Swiss army sword

    • @Tbm998
      @Tbm998 3 місяці тому +17

      The return of the double club!

    • @philippegauvin-vallee9371
      @philippegauvin-vallee9371 3 місяці тому +90

      I would allow a player to use this as long as they say the full name of the weapon whenever it is used or mentioned.

    • @jiminychristmas2707
      @jiminychristmas2707 3 місяці тому +26

      @@philippegauvin-vallee9371 Only if they say it by memory.

    • @bluedolphin5435
      @bluedolphin5435 3 місяці тому +7

      _“What are you talking about? It’s perfectly balanced!”_

  • @jameseiner
    @jameseiner 3 місяці тому +1188

    The _"requires attunement"_ stuff is actually beyond's fault. (edit: but still very funny)
    Back when i still made items on there, i always messed it up, because they don't tell you that the text you enter comes after a pregenerated _"requires attunement by a"_ message, so you end up with double the phrases.

    • @pal1d1nl1ght
      @pal1d1nl1ght 3 місяці тому +161

      Same as the sentence about adding your proficiency bonus to the attack roll

    • @lexistential
      @lexistential 3 місяці тому +106

      also it's *always* "a", so you have to reword your phrase so that it starts with a consonant

    • @PlayerZeroStart
      @PlayerZeroStart 3 місяці тому +8

      I mean it seemed pretty clear to me. The box just tells you to put in what class is required for attunement

    • @fishydids
      @fishydids 3 місяці тому +33

      This seems to be also what is happening with a weapon randomly mentioning proficiency at the end.

    • @sergiolastname3416
      @sergiolastname3416 3 місяці тому

      Same

  • @heyna.
    @heyna. 3 місяці тому +343

    screaming, crying, throwing up, charmed, frightened, stunned, prone, poisoned, blinded, deafened, paralyzed, petrified, fatigued !!

    • @DefinitelyNotBender
      @DefinitelyNotBender 3 місяці тому

      Sounds like side effects of a new Pfizer product.

    • @Mr.Despair.
      @Mr.Despair. 3 місяці тому +4

      Underrated comment lmfao

    • @GumshoeClassic
      @GumshoeClassic Місяць тому +4

      I wonder what this would look like. One would assume that either petrified overwrites most of these, or you turn into a (prone) statue oozing different liquids and furiously vibrating to produce screaming sounds.
      There is no in-between.

    • @jennymckenzie5304
      @jennymckenzie5304 Місяць тому +1

      I laughed so hard at this

  • @clairemoore8797
    @clairemoore8797 3 місяці тому +533

    As someone who does Amazon returns as part of my job, “Aaron’s triple bladed greataxe morningstar jackhammer spiky lance rapier scimitar short sword javelin hammer trident war pick sword“ just sounds like the listing for a cheap pocketknife that someone put on Amazon.

    • @undvined
      @undvined 3 місяці тому +12

      Honestly. People who put items on amazon for sale don't know the value of brevity.

    • @falsnamae3511
      @falsnamae3511 3 місяці тому +26

      @@undvined But they do know the value of verbosity. SEO. Now if you look up ANY of those terms, you get their worthless item advertised. And until Amazon penalizes titles in SEO based on wordcount, it is still the best option to make your product's name longer than the average light novel title.

    • @undvined
      @undvined 3 місяці тому +3

      @@falsnamae3511 That's true, I hadn't considered that.

    • @Majima_Nowhere
      @Majima_Nowhere 3 місяці тому +14

      I work in an Amazon warehouse. The worst I've seen is "CHO POWER SPORTS Adjustable Hovercart Hover Kart Hover Cart HoverKart Go Kart for Hoverboard Seat Attachment Electric Self Balancing Scooter for Kids (black)"
      I took a picture so I'd never forget it.

    • @somepretentiousguy3492
      @somepretentiousguy3492 3 місяці тому +4

      @@Majima_Nowhere This reads like an AI prompt or something, here, lemme just input every single possible spelling of the words "Hover" and "Kart" just to _really_ make sure the toaster understands that I want a goddamn "HOVER. KART."

  • @jadersonr.j4228
    @jadersonr.j4228 3 місяці тому +1396

    I think that a one shot where all the players and major npcs have only horrible homebrew equipments would be fun as hell

    • @merinofanfic4717
      @merinofanfic4717 3 місяці тому +134

      and you are also fighting homebrew monsters with homebrew spells and homebrew classes

    • @LocalPixelArtist
      @LocalPixelArtist 3 місяці тому +132

      Only if baby of darkness was in the one shot

    • @kadnhart6661
      @kadnhart6661 3 місяці тому +46

      I've always wanted to run a one-shot where the party has a barrel full of 100 random wands. No way for the party to know what wand does what until they use it!

    • @timnewton-howes5206
      @timnewton-howes5206 3 місяці тому +39

      the BBEG is Aphrodite, and they know Urararourururus Destroy Everything.

    • @kennethray8473
      @kennethray8473 3 місяці тому +8

      @@kadnhart6661Someone in my party in the last session dipped his daggers into random potions, so in order to see what would happen when he stabbed someone our DM rolled on the wild magic table.

  • @fivestringslinger
    @fivestringslinger 3 місяці тому +748

    That jackhammer thing got funnier every time Jacob read it in full. Reads like a Forgotten Realms Amazon listing.

    • @SkelexIsHere
      @SkelexIsHere 3 місяці тому +38

      big Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword Of Doom energy

    • @sylph8005
      @sylph8005 3 місяці тому +7

      @@SkelexIsHere Garfield must have all of these items

    • @lolbuster01
      @lolbuster01 Місяць тому +1

      The downsides are 1, it's heavy and 2, you must refer to it by its full name before you attack and if you fail to name it properly it misses.

  • @smilemore7431
    @smilemore7431 3 місяці тому +351

    New Magic Item Idea:
    Sword of Classism
    Gain advantage on attacking enemies but disadvantage if the enemy is a commoner or considered “poor”. The sword is sentient and hates “the unwashed masses” but refuses to hit them because “their dirty blood will stain my beautiful hilt!” The sword was previously used in duels among nobles and if it is wielded by someone it doesn’t deem is “well-bred” enough it will constantly complain about the “indignity”.

    • @Taliesin2
      @Taliesin2 3 місяці тому +21

      But shouldn't a truely classist sword also reject being used by a commoner? I mean, I dig the thought of a classist sword actually being a weapon of class war.

    • @Newguyatwork
      @Newguyatwork 3 місяці тому +18

      @@Taliesin2 I think that's what it also implies with the term "Well-bred".

    • @violet7773
      @violet7773 3 місяці тому +21

      Alternatively: Sword of the Proletariat
      Gain disadvantage when attacking any member of the working class
      Gain advantage when attacking any member of the bourgeoisie. If a bourgeois dies to this weapon by decapitation, you regain X hit points (idk how many would be balanced, maybe character level?)

    • @Dany94256
      @Dany94256 3 місяці тому +3

      Not going to lie
      I am going to spawn this blade in my next session, the day after tomorrow. If anything because in the party there's a veritable Loot Goblin, and this will be hilarious for a start

    • @Dany94256
      @Dany94256 3 місяці тому +8

      ​@@violet7773alternative name: OUR SWORD.
      It plays the Soviet Anthem (instrumental) on every successful hit

  • @IzraelGraves
    @IzraelGraves 3 місяці тому +870

    The fall damage one can be fixed by simply changing "by" to "to". Now once a week you change any long fall to the equivalent of a 5 foot drop.

    • @Shadow-hm3uq
      @Shadow-hm3uq 3 місяці тому +137

      I love that. That actually makes it cool, while not too op because niche. Good job!

    • @jiminychristmas2707
      @jiminychristmas2707 3 місяці тому +47

      Wait that’s actually good.

    • @jakebarry8456
      @jakebarry8456 3 місяці тому +39

      I could see that item being a good little folk charm kinda thing. Maybe it sits on a necklace with a few other bits and bobs that have other small magical uses (resistance to minor burns, bundle of bugbear hair for good sleep.) Maybe you can make it so that you burn these items like incense to use their effects? And it effects all who smell it

    • @IzraelGraves
      @IzraelGraves 3 місяці тому +31

      @@jakebarry8456 I question the use of a magic item that stops one fall from being deadly, if you need to stop halfway through the fall to burn it. Haha

    • @exantiuse497
      @exantiuse497 3 місяці тому +9

      Still horrendously weak. There is an item called Ring of Feather Falling which makes you immune to falling damage, period. It's a Rare item, and not considered a very good one. Dried Bird's Claw is supposed to be an *artifact* and it gives immunity to one fall per week. If it was a common item it would be too weak

  • @Cpt.Croissant
    @Cpt.Croissant 3 місяці тому +372

    15:24 "what does this even look like?" Biblically accurate greataxe

  • @EhmJB
    @EhmJB 3 місяці тому +738

    I mean, if you have an unavoidable 12ft. drop on your weekly grocery run, that ring could be invaluable! 😮

    • @hugofontes5708
      @hugofontes5708 3 місяці тому +39

      Fair, it is useful to reduce fall damage up until 5 feet above a X*10ft threshold. Not totally bad lol

    • @Spartan156
      @Spartan156 3 місяці тому +80

      This also implies there is an unavoidable 12ft climb on your weekly grocery run. I know real estate is atrocious right now, but that's ridiculous.

    • @exantiuse497
      @exantiuse497 3 місяці тому +4

      Wouldn't you want a broom of flying instead, since both are wondrous items?

    • @hugofontes5708
      @hugofontes5708 3 місяці тому +3

      @@exantiuse497 sure but you gotta ride the broom, right?

    • @violet7773
      @violet7773 3 місяці тому +2

      How u gettin home tho?

  • @matthewsanchez7953
    @matthewsanchez7953 3 місяці тому +3187

    Having an Aarakocra claw in your inventory is basically the same as carrying around a human hand lol.

    • @fractalfalco3964
      @fractalfalco3964 3 місяці тому +108

      Found Kira

    • @MrEnollx
      @MrEnollx 3 місяці тому +181

      Now all I can think of is a crazy man giving me a severed hand and saying: "here, take this human claw".

    • @anastasijahabarova1533
      @anastasijahabarova1533 3 місяці тому +98

      Nah, a claw is just a fingernail. Doesn’t even have to be whole, it could be like a loose nail clipping that fell into your PC character’s bag because your Arakocra teammate was clipping his nails next to everyone’s bags at the campfire last night.

    • @EdrickBluebeard
      @EdrickBluebeard 3 місяці тому +31

      Hand of the Mage, 900gp.

    • @coughe216
      @coughe216 3 місяці тому +27

      Oh good, one more for my offering to bhaal

  • @DarthWells
    @DarthWells 3 місяці тому +442

    More Colton co-host homebrew review, please. I love how this kinda makes up for the do not laugh challenge as you we both hardly able to speak. Highly contagious laughter.

  • @DWargs
    @DWargs 3 місяці тому +343

    As a David, I say you can have the "David can I please have it - warhammer of +100".

    • @Kantilvih
      @Kantilvih 3 місяці тому +27

      Thank you! It IS just +100.
      Also does 100d30 dmg. And 40 ac.

    • @CommunistKangaroo
      @CommunistKangaroo 3 місяці тому +8

      ​@@Kantilvih The f**k is a d30?

    • @DaveWhatsHisFace
      @DaveWhatsHisFace 3 місяці тому +3

      As another David, I think it’s an excellent idea. Really spices up the whole thing

    • @TheTyranidHiveMind
      @TheTyranidHiveMind 3 місяці тому +5

      @@CommunistKangarooa dice with 31 sides

    • @ShiningDarknes
      @ShiningDarknes 3 місяці тому +1

      @@TheTyranidHiveMind ... imma let you figure out why that is incorrect.

  • @CarwynAndrews
    @CarwynAndrews 3 місяці тому +353

    The adamantine dagger just seems like a gag item. You insta kill anything and then have to deal with a tarasque, but if you kill the tarasque with the dagger, you have another tarasque to deal with so you have to be able to break the cycle by killing the tarasque by other means

    • @khaledahmed9136
      @khaledahmed9136 3 місяці тому +62

      or, use te Tarasque as a weapon against another country. Sneak in, stab some random guard or something and boom, they have a whole Tarasque to deal with and you can nope out

    • @RinIsArty
      @RinIsArty 3 місяці тому +34

      Dagger of Infinite Tarrasques

    • @ShiningDarknes
      @ShiningDarknes 3 місяці тому +1

      There is only one tarrasque.

    • @AkrimaSablosang
      @AkrimaSablosang 3 місяці тому +14

      @@ShiningDarknes not with this dagger there is.

    • @ShiningDarknes
      @ShiningDarknes 3 місяці тому

      @@AkrimaSablosang you want to try that sentence again?

  • @clawz161
    @clawz161 3 місяці тому +145

    Aablard while brewing the potion was like...."ya know sometimes I'm gonna miss having hay fever, let me have the ability to turn off immunity"

    • @JorgeLopez-qj8pu
      @JorgeLopez-qj8pu 3 місяці тому +9

      Lotion seller, I need your strongest lotion’s, I’m going into battle 😉

  • @xanathar8659
    @xanathar8659 3 місяці тому +66

    5:25 this is actually a super easy mistake to make lol. There's a checkbox for "requires attunement" and a text box for "attunement description." I've definitely in the past wrote "Requires attunement by something rather" in the attunement description which causes it to say "requires attunement by Requires attunement by something rather"

  • @PennyTheGoblin
    @PennyTheGoblin 3 місяці тому +66

    Aaron with his triple bladed greataxe morning star jackhammer spiky lance rapier scimitar short sword javelin hammer trident war pick: god I wish I had something else to add to this
    The humble sword: 👀

  • @KiithnarasAshaa
    @KiithnarasAshaa 3 місяці тому +109

    Gonna be honest, Aaron's TBGAMSJHSLRSSSJHTWP Sword has all of the energy, but none of the style, of the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom.

    • @if7723
      @if7723 3 місяці тому +3

      Yeah, but I'm just as interested in it's fan art and how it's held.

  • @timnewton-howes5206
    @timnewton-howes5206 3 місяці тому +193

    Neckless (requires attunement)
    Your height decreases by approximately 6 inches. You have no neck.

    • @couchcommandoiv5528
      @couchcommandoiv5528 3 місяці тому

      Call it Benzino's Chainz

    • @ShiningDarknes
      @ShiningDarknes 3 місяці тому +11

      Makes you immune to being hanged tho.

    • @alonosh7184
      @alonosh7184 3 місяці тому +10

      I read this comment and received 3d6 psychic damage. (though halved, as I am an experienced DM)

    • @timnewton-howes5206
      @timnewton-howes5206 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@ShiningDarknes with the big brain

  • @bensonprice4027
    @bensonprice4027 3 місяці тому +59

    "Touch it. Touch it hard" might be my new saying that I'll just say to myself randomly.

  • @TerrasScourge
    @TerrasScourge 3 місяці тому +68

    15:42 SCP-162 “The Ball of Sharp” says it all.

  • @khaledahmed9136
    @khaledahmed9136 3 місяці тому +204

    The Tarrasque dagger is actually a weapon of mass destruction. Sneak into the enemy's castle/country, stab some random guard then run while the Tarrasque obliterates everyone

    • @muddro420
      @muddro420 3 місяці тому +32

      Oh just replace some training daggers, retreat to a safe distance and cook up some popcorn.

    • @segadoeswhatnintendont
      @segadoeswhatnintendont 3 місяці тому +22

      Including you. Most worlds don't have a consistent way of killing terrasques, so by the time someone manges to do it, youl probably also die

    • @segadoeswhatnintendont
      @segadoeswhatnintendont 3 місяці тому +5

      I guess you could throw it from a long distance next to a teleportation circle of some kind

    • @HunterTracks
      @HunterTracks 3 місяці тому +26

      ​@@segadoeswhatnintendontNot unless you stab the Tarrasque with the dagger, too. That, of course, summons a different Tarrasque, but you still get the XP, which means you can find a bunch of people to set up a Tarrasque farm with until you can kill one without using the dagger.

    • @Merilirem
      @Merilirem 3 місяці тому +14

      @@HunterTracks Indeed. Just stab Tarrasques until you reach level 20. You only need one original target. Each stab summons after all. They take Necrotic damage right?

  • @starterking
    @starterking 3 місяці тому +101

    Imagine someone making a wand of stabbing and its basically a knife that can cast spells.

    • @DefinitelyNotBender
      @DefinitelyNotBender 3 місяці тому +18

      But the only spell it casts is called "stab" and does less damage than just stabbing someone with a basic dagger.

    • @chrismanuel9768
      @chrismanuel9768 3 місяці тому +4

      I mean I never understood not being able to use functional items as spellcasting focuses. The claim is that to focus the magic the item has to be frail or is made frail so magic can flow through it? But then there's magic scrolls and magic swords and magic armor and magic guns and magic giants... and paladins can use shields as a spellcasting focus. But nobody else? Seems like an outdated concept they never got rid of. So in line with that...
      Rune Dagger. Uncommon. Arcane focus. Dagger. This is a slightly magical dagger whose hilt contains a single ornamental gemstone. Though this weapon confers no bonuses to hit, it is considered magical for purposes of overcoming nonmagical resistance. It may also be used as an arcane spellcasting focus.
      1d4 damage, light, 0.6lbs
      Cost... idfk, like 10 silver.

    • @chrismanuel9768
      @chrismanuel9768 3 місяці тому +2

      Note: Proficiency can be added to this weapon's attack roll

    • @bdp4
      @bdp4 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@chrismanuel9768 1. there's already a basic magic item you can attach to any weapon as a pommel to do that.
      2. a basic dagger is double that cost and a basic wand is 10 times that cost.
      3.you can make anything a spellcasting focus by implanting a crystal focus in it.

    • @Merilirem
      @Merilirem 3 місяці тому

      @@chrismanuel9768 Its definitely a remnant of old flavors based on stereotypes that inspired many fantasy stories and games. Like how druids still have vague notions of not wearing metal when it doesn't make sense for all druids to be against metal use. Or how necromancers are seen as frail sickly types even by wizard standards.
      Focus restrictions make sense for god followers but not for regular folk.

  • @carlwheezer623
    @carlwheezer623 3 місяці тому +129

    “He was taking the word minor out of it” 😂😂😂😂

    • @shybread315
      @shybread315 3 місяці тому +9

      The absolute (doctor) disrespect.

  • @bronsoncarder2491
    @bronsoncarder2491 3 місяці тому +68

    "I know we do this one a lot."
    Me who wants you to do this more: "I'm not sure how to respond to that." lmfao

  • @cariocaemfuria3946
    @cariocaemfuria3946 3 місяці тому +143

    Pretty sure "Dried Bird's Claw" would've probably saved the Fighter on one of my games. He fell exactly 103 ft from the parapet of a castle and took 10d6 damage. If he had fallen 98 ft instead he'd taken 9d6 and it just so happened that he ended up with exactly 0 HP...

    • @kingofrats4944
      @kingofrats4944 3 місяці тому +15

      yeah i was thinking about that, imagine a character jumping off a 10-14 foot roof, out of a tree, down a hole, whatever and taking no damage

    • @muddro420
      @muddro420 3 місяці тому +6

      @@kingofrats4944 Seems like this is an automatic -1 dice in a fall, unless we're rounding i guess. i've always just added diced after each 10 foot threshold, maybe im doing it wrong

    • @DylanBFishkeeper
      @DylanBFishkeeper 3 місяці тому +1

      Yeah, I would throw in little trinkets to my homebrew game with little effects like this. They normally seem absolutely useless or just pure flavor until the players get super crafty with them to solve a problem.
      Like the Ring of Stargazing that I made, which projected a picture of the stars above you as though you were looking at the night sky directly. Players were able to use it in an underground dungeon to orient to cardinal directions even when their compass broke.
      Or the spidergoat brooch that gave a goring charge action if you had a climb speed over 25ft, letting the barbarian knock a pesky enemy off the cave walls.

  • @vincenttavani6380
    @vincenttavani6380 3 місяці тому +130

    9:04 Anti-magic ring has a misspelling*. "If you WERE it, you can not be affected by magic." Just the ring is immune to magic, not its wearer.
    *No pun intended.

    • @Shadow-hm3uq
      @Shadow-hm3uq 3 місяці тому +14

      Thats amazing, I love how useless this makes it 😂

    • @Demon-sy1uw
      @Demon-sy1uw 3 місяці тому +16

      hear me out, put it at the end of a flintlock, use shrink magic on cannonballs and load it into the flint lock and when you shoot it, as soon as it comes out the barrel it makes a cannonball you just end up shooting siege weaponry from your flintlock LOL

    • @roygribbleston619
      @roygribbleston619 3 місяці тому +11

      It indeed has a misspelling, but what it says is "ware". So you only become immune to magic if you sell it, or at least offer it up for sale.

    • @JumpSonic
      @JumpSonic 3 місяці тому +2

      Intend your pun, coward. It was brilliant

    • @snowboundwhale6860
      @snowboundwhale6860 2 місяці тому

      @@roygribbleston619 This sounds like an actual folklore item. A coveted magical artifact that people seek out based on it's reputation of affording protection from magic, but nobody properly understands how to use, so they _think_ it's a ring that protects them from magic when worn, eventually find out it doesn't do that, and then usually throw it away thinking it's useless or a fake, so few ever realise you have to actually sell it to gain the protection from magic.

  • @DreadknightVolonis
    @DreadknightVolonis 3 місяці тому +155

    Edited to remove “minor” joke will date this, but I still laughed.

    • @baguettegott3409
      @baguettegott3409 3 місяці тому +6

      I was curious about that, what is it a reference to?

    • @DeathByMinnow
      @DeathByMinnow 3 місяці тому +69

      @@baguettegott3409 Dr. Disrespect's tweet about his inappropriate messages with a minor. He edited out the part where he admitted she was underaged - he later edited back in when people called him on it.

    • @DreadknightVolonis
      @DreadknightVolonis 3 місяці тому +36

      @@baguettegott3409 Dr. Disrespect edited out the word "minor" from a recent apology-esque tweet so that he wouldn't seem so scummy for "talking" to a minor. Wasn't expecting the reference here.

    • @VisonsofFalseTruths
      @VisonsofFalseTruths 3 місяці тому +9

      @@DeathByMinnow wow. Every time I see that dude mentioned he looks even worse. Like, EVERY time. It’s the kind of consistency most people wish their shits could have tbh

  • @HA11EYS_COM3T
    @HA11EYS_COM3T 3 місяці тому +24

    Wondrous item, Legendary
    (requires attunement)
    Bagpipes of Invisibility
    When you play the bagpipes, you, any clothes you are wearing, and any items being worn or carried become completely invisible, including the bagpipes, but are still physically present.

    • @shadowshedinja6124
      @shadowshedinja6124 2 місяці тому +1

      Blocks spells that require seeing the target at least.

  • @PhantomRoxas
    @PhantomRoxas 3 місяці тому +18

    The Sword of Effects sounded familiar, especially the specification of "commoner" as a creature type, and sure enough it's the return of Flirelord, who gave us the Horrific Infinity Slayer.

  • @lautaropieronne5122
    @lautaropieronne5122 3 місяці тому +126

    Perfect timing, I was just searching something to watch while I drink my tea

    • @manic217
      @manic217 3 місяці тому +10

      Great homebrew

    • @charlesm7215
      @charlesm7215 3 місяці тому

      just in time to spit it back out because of gigafuck jackhammer

  • @itloaf
    @itloaf 3 місяці тому +22

    "How are you charmed and frightened" my mans has never fell in love with a 12 ft orc muscle mommy

  • @mcbadrobotvoice8155
    @mcbadrobotvoice8155 3 місяці тому +95

    Gun damage
    *baffled screaming*

    • @Oglokoog
      @Oglokoog 3 місяці тому +16

      The secret element

    • @arcadeinvader8086
      @arcadeinvader8086 3 місяці тому +16

      @@Oglokoog remember in avatar when the gunbenders showed up and capped everyone

    • @OrangeyChocolate
      @OrangeyChocolate 3 місяці тому

      My mind just went to Persona 5.

  • @TreeColor
    @TreeColor 3 місяці тому +37

    The Dr. Disrespect reference had me rolling.

  • @RogueOmega
    @RogueOmega 3 місяці тому +24

    Actually, due to how 5e works when it comes to fall damage calculation, I could see that Dried Bird's Claw having a use. Since 5e only factors in height in 10 ft increments when calculating fall damage, anything that's not a full 10 ft is ignored (example: Officially, if you fall 55 ft, you only fell 50 ft in terms of damage calculation). So removing 5 ft from the damage calculation for fall damage would actually remove an entire d6 damage die from the final damage roll, which could potentially spell the difference between "you survive a fall with a sliver of health left" and "the fall kills you". Granted, this situation is so incredibly niche that honestly, once a week is overbalanced. It could probably be changed to 'once per long rest', and even that might still be overbalanced, I dunno.

    • @kingofrats4944
      @kingofrats4944 3 місяці тому +9

      i feel like it could easily just be a passive always active thing, its only 5ft

  • @Bruh-rx6dr
    @Bruh-rx6dr 3 місяці тому +77

    The dagger of desecration is kind of a problem though. Yeah you one shot the guy you’re trying to kill but the tarrasque you summon isn’t on your side, you just summon one. Then you can one shot that tarrasque to replace it with another one.
    Basically it just replaces whatever enemy you’re fighting with a tarrasque

    • @runeanonymous9760
      @runeanonymous9760 3 місяці тому +2

      not if you have means of fleeing

    • @spiderbug7615
      @spiderbug7615 3 місяці тому +23

      @@runeanonymous9760 I think if you have means of fleeing from the tarrasque, I think you would also have means of fleeing the person that you one-shotted in the first place

    • @lmt831
      @lmt831 3 місяці тому +10

      Infinite xp?

    • @kingofrats4944
      @kingofrats4944 3 місяці тому +9

      DM: alright here is your choice *hands over dagger* fight my hand-crafted lich, or a tarrasque

    • @Merilirem
      @Merilirem 3 місяці тому +2

      @@lmt831 Yep, you kill it until 20 and then leave the last one while you go level up.

  • @trublgrl
    @trublgrl 3 місяці тому +40

    Safebladder Potion: Upon drinking, the user opens a portal to a pocket dimension within their bladder. They do not have to pee for forty days. At the end of the forty days, the pocket dimension empties out and the user has to take a 30 + 3d12 minute piss or get a urinary tract infection.

    • @gemstone4264
      @gemstone4264 3 місяці тому +11

      Sounds like a potion from FATAL.

    • @culteyeoftaxfraud1143
      @culteyeoftaxfraud1143 3 місяці тому +14

      Just imagine you see battler weary stoic warrior comeback to town after a long adventure and the first thing they do is piss for 2 hours

    • @biastrafig
      @biastrafig 3 місяці тому

      ​@@culteyeoftaxfraud1143the maximum time they could piss for is just over an hour

    • @flamewing7851
      @flamewing7851 3 місяці тому

      so outside the pocket dimension, is there just a bladder sitting on the ground? and is the one inside the pocket dimension missing the bladder? imagine walking into an alley and seeing a random bladder on the ground.

    • @trublgrl
      @trublgrl 3 місяці тому

      @@flamewing7851 The pocket dimension has no time, space, or direction. It's just a portal and urine.

  • @mrsato7508
    @mrsato7508 3 місяці тому +19

    the "magic missile with a handle"
    Dagger, 1d4 force damage, always hits

    • @khaledahmed9136
      @khaledahmed9136 3 місяці тому +10

      That's not a bad item at all, Just imagine a rouge with this thing, dealing 1d4 + sneak attack damage every turn.

    • @apjapki
      @apjapki 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@khaledahmed9136Who are building all these Rogues who can't hit the target? You only have one ability for everything.

    • @MadSwedishGamer
      @MadSwedishGamer 3 місяці тому +2

      @@apjapki Some enemies have a high AC? If you're fighting someone who's wearing plate armour and using a shield, they'll have 20 AC. Even if you have, say, a 20 in DEX and a proficiency bonus of +4, that's only a 50/50 chance to hit.

    • @khaledahmed9136
      @khaledahmed9136 3 місяці тому +1

      @@apjapki My man have you ever heard of +1 full plate, a +1 shield and the shield spell? That's 27 AC.

    • @emberfist8347
      @emberfist8347 3 місяці тому

      I mean that wouldn’t be bad if it was a throwing knife.

  • @dontknoww8939
    @dontknoww8939 3 місяці тому +48

    Please never stop doing this, these videos never fail to make me laugh

  • @artloveranimation
    @artloveranimation 3 місяці тому +11

    I made a magic item I'm pretty proud of, you can find "strong man sailor spinach (canned)" it basically temporarily gives you popeye strength for weaponless hits

  • @UlrichDraken
    @UlrichDraken 3 місяці тому +8

    The dice is absolute chaos because it says a spell so it even works with cantrips, imagine casting guidance for an investigation and just blow up because you roll 2 fireballs in the wild magic table.

  • @nico8667
    @nico8667 3 місяці тому +41

    The fact that they laughed the most with the text D&DBeyond automatically puts at the end of the descriptions 😂😂😂

  • @DeadPanTV
    @DeadPanTV 3 місяці тому +7

    I misinterpreted the potion of immortality as “for one minute you cannot die of old age” and I am OBSESSED with that because that is so gd niche

  • @thod-thod
    @thod-thod 3 місяці тому +27

    The first dice are ok, they’re legendary

  • @MarkD5678
    @MarkD5678 3 місяці тому +18

    Please David you gotta let him have it, it's only +100 to attack and damage and also deals extra 100d30 and increases AC to 40

    • @MrDarthtelos
      @MrDarthtelos 3 місяці тому +4

      Come on David, be a bro.

    • @maxgrieve
      @maxgrieve 3 місяці тому +5

      Seriously tho David, it's gotta be versatile too. Man's gotta dual wield, or he might still need a shield with that 40 AC.

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 2 місяці тому +1

      Just wield your jackhammer great axe sword in your other hand, and you can one shot tarrasques all night!

  • @tabbybarrington5352
    @tabbybarrington5352 3 місяці тому +5

    The way you balance out ‘Aaron’s triple bladed greataxe morning star jackhammer spiky lance rapier scimitar short sword javelin hammer trident war pick sword’ is that every time the player wants to make an attack with it they must be able to say the entire name of the weapon in order correctly within a 6 second round, if they can attack twice in one turn they must be able to say it twice in one 6 second round, and so on

  • @calebbraun9505
    @calebbraun9505 3 місяці тому +8

    Adamantine daggers, "I deal 100 d100 necrotic damage, and summon a tarrask."
    Me "ok, but the target is immune to necrotic, so enjoy the added tarrask."

  • @ethanmoore428
    @ethanmoore428 3 місяці тому +3

    Just throwing this out there as a homebrew addict - when creating a homebrew there's a field called "attunement description" and whatever you put in there creates the attunement requirement header - except whatever you put in there is then proceeded by the default "requires attunement by a" and then concatenates your entry. So when you see a "requires attunement by a Requires Attunement by a Wizard" it's because they should have just wrote "wizard" in that field, thinking that they had to write the entire attunement description there instead. This happened to me on a couple of my first homebrews and I was confused by it until I realized you can't change the proceeding text.

  • @echoesactzero5131
    @echoesactzero5131 3 місяці тому +8

    "How can you be charmed and frightened" someone hasn't seen the way dio talk to kakyoin from in jojos part 3

  • @GrapplingHookJones
    @GrapplingHookJones 3 місяці тому +12

    You cannot remove the “Proficiency with a [weapon]…” from a homebrew magic item on D&D Beyond. It is added to every weapon upon creation

  • @linalundstrom432
    @linalundstrom432 3 місяці тому +9

    I am begging you for more of these, please never stop making them!!

  • @mrinfinity5557
    @mrinfinity5557 3 місяці тому +7

    No, see the dried birds claw is actually super op because it doesnt require attunement. And due to the name it doesnt seem like it has any special crafting requirements besides drying out a bird claw. You can just stick it in a bag
    500 birds killed later, you can now fall from 5000 feet total per week and take no fall damage

  • @mrquackadoodlemoo
    @mrquackadoodlemoo 3 місяці тому +3

    Bro, please run a game with all these items.
    Even if it's just a one-shot, seeing everyone kitted out with this stuff would be chaos.

  • @emberfist8347
    @emberfist8347 3 місяці тому +4

    Cloak of Teleportation. When activated the cloak teleports but leaves the user behind and defenseless for one round.

  • @user-v4v5c
    @user-v4v5c 3 місяці тому +7

    taking damage in increments of 10 feet is just the rate per distance. That means at a fall of 0 feet you take 0x damage, at a fall of 5 feet you take 0x damage, at a fall of 10 feet you take 1x damage, and so on. So reduce fall damage by 5 feet means that if you would fall 14 feet and take 1x damage, you instead treat it like a 9 foot fall and take 0x damage

  • @darth3911
    @darth3911 3 місяці тому +1

    Gimma MORE of this series.
    It’s literally the second best series on this channel, we love it.

  • @iampierce7474
    @iampierce7474 3 місяці тому +15

    Touch it, touch it hard

  • @annalevi4399
    @annalevi4399 3 місяці тому +3

    The dried brids claw is just the aarakocra claw after its been sitting in your inventory for a year

  • @clint4951
    @clint4951 3 місяці тому +17

    *Magic Wenis Enhancement Pills*
    Roll 1d20
    On 19-20: Wenis grows 1 inch
    On 10+: Nothing happens
    On < 10: Wenis shrinks 2 inches

    • @khaledahmed9136
      @khaledahmed9136 3 місяці тому

      what if you go belew 0? Do you get a vagina instead?

  • @TheJSJosh
    @TheJSJosh 3 місяці тому +1

    Genuinely would LOVE to see more homebrew videos with you guys! Loved the chemistry here :D

  • @envymordecai4429
    @envymordecai4429 3 місяці тому +8

    Aaron’s out here with a fucking Swiss army sword

  • @williamadams5471
    @williamadams5471 3 місяці тому +3

    I used to give my goblin NPC's fetish charms that would give something like +1 to hit once per day or +1 to Saving throws three times before losing its charge. The players started hunting goblins to collect them. Not even to use them because the effects were so minor. Just to have a collection of semi magical bone and feather fetish charms.

  • @ingiford175
    @ingiford175 3 місяці тому +8

    Wand with unknown language, first thing I would do is cast 'comprehend language'

  • @williamross6477
    @williamross6477 3 місяці тому +3

    Aarakocra Claw seems like a mundane quest item that the DM felt obligated to make and publish a full homebrew item for.
    Also “you are frightened of all of your allies” on its own is a brilliant effect

  • @kover975
    @kover975 3 місяці тому +6

    Tip for anyone interested in becoming immortal: 'not dying of old age' and 'not aging' are VERY different

  • @bradleyderemer295
    @bradleyderemer295 3 місяці тому +6

    My dm made a ring called the slugshot ring. But my fighter just calls it "the ring that makes me punch hard". It's a single use magic item that does 1d8 fire damage on top of my unarmed damage, but does 1d4 damage to myself. I love it.

  • @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks
    @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks 3 місяці тому +7

    13:36 that's Cody "The Night Angel" Walsh's Thirsting Blade Dark Excalibur Mega-Genesis

  • @davidarmstrong1617
    @davidarmstrong1617 3 місяці тому +3

    5:30 That's an auto-population response. When you fill in the attunement details, DND Beyond will automatically insert the phrase "Requires attunement by a" in front of whatever you write. So, if you write "Requires attunement by a Wizard," you will get : Requires attunement by a Requires attunement by a Wizard."
    Yet another excellent example of why you need to click on the item yourself and see how it looks to users BEFORE you ever publish anything! Also, I recommend waiting to publish until you are absolutely certain you'll never make any adjustments to it, since once you publish it, you can't edit anything.

  • @Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iw
    @Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iw 3 місяці тому +80

    Dried bird's claw is literally just elden ring longtail cat tallisman.

    • @Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iw
      @Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iw 3 місяці тому +7

      I've only seen the start of the video at this time, if they make the same joke as me then don't bug me about it.

    • @wavierdig
      @wavierdig 3 місяці тому +8

      @@Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iwand its somehow more useless

    • @bruuuuuuuuhhhh
      @bruuuuuuuuhhhh 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@wavierdigI wish it was as useful as the cat ring in older games

    • @IzraelGraves
      @IzraelGraves 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@wavierdigThey can fix it so easily. Just change "by" to "to" and now you have an artifact that once a week can reduce any long fall to the equivalent of a 5 foot drop.

    • @areoants9453
      @areoants9453 3 місяці тому +1

      ​​@@Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iwthey didn't make the joke, so I'm free to bug you about it.

  • @MagikarpBeast
    @MagikarpBeast 3 місяці тому +10

    Instantly adding touch it, touch it hard to my linkedin profile

  • @BrooklyKnight
    @BrooklyKnight 3 місяці тому +5

    I live for these vids, my mental has never been doing so hot so whenever I'm feeling especially ick I watch all of these vids - your laugh is infectious and these vids make this whole living thing feel a lil more worth it every time.

  • @ahrifangirl
    @ahrifangirl 3 місяці тому +3

    11:45 oh, this same person also created the Horrific Infinity Slayer from the last video on this subject! that's cool!

  • @VidGamer123
    @VidGamer123 3 місяці тому +6

    GIVE THEM THE +100 WARHAMMER, DAVID.
    *DO IT, DAVID.*

  • @DramakilzU
    @DramakilzU 3 місяці тому +10

    What’s better than reviewing homebrew alone in a room? Reviewing homebrew alone in a room with a friend.

    • @apjapki
      @apjapki 3 місяці тому

      Alone with a friend is a vibe

  • @kalamir93
    @kalamir93 3 місяці тому +4

    20:38 Certified Dwarven war tactic! Rock & Stone, bröthers!

  • @ildaron7457
    @ildaron7457 3 місяці тому +14

    How did Jacob not remember AK-47 from a similar video he made more than 2 years ago

  • @Skellypug748-se2my
    @Skellypug748-se2my 3 місяці тому +9

    Love seeing a new one of these it’s my personal favorite series

  • @NErDy-pr1jf
    @NErDy-pr1jf 3 місяці тому +3

    Scp-162 is a giant mass of small sharp objects like fish hooks. People feel compelled to touch it and Touching it will cause you to immediately get tangled up in it

  • @bagel_guy9495
    @bagel_guy9495 3 місяці тому +9

    We need art for Aarons triple bladed greataxe morning star jackhammer spiky lance rapier scimitar short sword javelin hammer trident war pick sword

  • @hamzamotara4304
    @hamzamotara4304 3 місяці тому +2

    As somebody making an item focused campaign, I need this.

  • @DaRealKakarroto
    @DaRealKakarroto 3 місяці тому +6

    5:55 - I need to create a wonderous item in there, describing how it looks like in detailed intricacy, but not mention what it does, and name it 'pot of greed'.

    • @avak2101
      @avak2101 3 місяці тому +1

      Pot of Greed?
      What does that do?

  • @Cr0de5_
    @Cr0de5_ 3 місяці тому +2

    The Adamantine Daggers of Desecration actually have a hidden ability to check and see if an NPC has plot armor so it's actually quite useful

  • @redtexan7053
    @redtexan7053 3 місяці тому +3

    I think there's a really great version of the sword of effects where it's like a +1 Longsword, but requires a roll on every successful hit to determine at random
    1.) What kind of damage it does.
    2.) Which of those effects it has.
    Call it the Sword of Random Nonsense.

  • @morrigankasa570
    @morrigankasa570 Місяць тому +1

    I actually like that Immortality Potion & would love to have that. Especially if you can find a way to acquire multiples of it.

  • @sunshotwithanornament2475
    @sunshotwithanornament2475 3 місяці тому +9

    Now make a 1 shot campaign where you can only use the worst rated home brew

  • @chompette_
    @chompette_ 3 місяці тому +3

    Aablard's potion of immortality just turns you into Mr Burns

  • @KAPsub2
    @KAPsub2 2 місяці тому +1

    The Sword of Effects is actually kinda fun. The wording "hasn't attacked you yet" also doesn't have a time limit on it, so if someone has ever attacked you before you can't auto-hit them. If this is the only attack the enemy has, it becomes a game of remove condition spells and avoiding the sword, which has the potential to be a really interesting fight

  • @sjhsoccer
    @sjhsoccer 3 місяці тому +10

    I am jealous of Jacob's ability to forget about bad homebrew he has already read to be surprised by it against later.

  • @HarryFernandes15
    @HarryFernandes15 3 місяці тому +2

    I never want these videos to end. Pls keep em coming

  • @tinkerermelon6599
    @tinkerermelon6599 3 місяці тому +3

    Oh, I love these!
    Proficiency with things I love allows you to add your proficiency bonus...

  • @KingKrusha
    @KingKrusha 3 місяці тому +5

    No way, I made it in the video at 4:20

  • @ElTaitronAnim
    @ElTaitronAnim 3 місяці тому +2

    Don't feel like you do these too often, they're consistently hilarious.

  • @RealSeanithan
    @RealSeanithan 3 місяці тому +5

    6:04 what more do you...wand?

  • @bobbytables4305
    @bobbytables4305 3 місяці тому +2

    The "SCP-162 on a stick" comment was fabsolutly INSPIRED

  • @BeetleSleet
    @BeetleSleet 3 місяці тому +17

    POV: dried birds claw
    A A
    A A
    A A
    A A
    A A: … Memp
    A: hey why did you fall less

  • @fuzzymcwazzy1293
    @fuzzymcwazzy1293 3 місяці тому +2

    I think that triple axe jackhammer would be super fun to include in any game as the ultimate secret weapon against the BBEG if you also took damage every time you picked it up or used it. Like roll a D100 to see if you insta killed yourself for trying to pick it up.