I Lost My Husband to Cancer. This Is the Best Marriage Advice I Have to Give. (w/ Kendra Tierney)
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- Опубліковано 2 тра 2024
- After more than 20 years of marriage, Kendra Tierney lost her husband to cancer. Over those two decades of married life, Kendra said that two things never changed...
Kendra's Marriage Advice:
Keep these two things at the forefront of your marriage to guarantee a successful and fruitful married life.
1. Compatibility
2. Commitment
Kendra is a "mother of many" living just outside of Los Angeles, CA. She started Catholic All Year as a way to share the practice of celebrating the liturgical year in the home and getting to know the saints and seasons of the Church calendar through food, prayer, and conversation.
If you’d like her guide to liturgical living, it’s available in book form in The Catholic All Year Compendium: Liturgical Living for Real Life and The Catholic All Year Prayer Companion: The Liturgical Year in Practice, both of which you can find at www.CatholicAllYear.com
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I recently lost my wife to cancer as well. We were married at 21, and shared 45 wonderful years until she went home to the Lord. You are SPOT ON for your advice. I hold on to my memories of our strong love, bond, and friendship. I now look at our children and grandchildren and see her and her influence everywhere. Thank you for this video, I hope it helps others.
I am so sorry to read of your wife’s passing. God bless you.
I also lost my wife to cancer in 2010 and I've been by myself ever since. I'm thankful for the limited time we had but I celebrate knowing she is with the Lord. Every day is a gift and I try to make the most of it.
God bless I am so sorry for your loss.
The notion of a perfect marriage or relationship is a fallacy; every relationship is unique. What works for Adam may not necessarily work for Peter. Nevertheless, I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were on the verge of divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we were able to mend our relationship. It was a tough time, but we survived
The depth of your words strikes a chord with me, and I genuinely hope my feelings mirror yours. Despite our current physical distance, I cannot envision my life without her; my love for her runs deep. I yearn for her return, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it a reality. We've explored different avenues, including therapy, in our quest for reconciliation.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her
You definitely should
I'm 65, never married, and no kids. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and it took me too many years to overcome the deficits, but I did the best I could. I can't go back and undo what went wrong, so I just try to make the best of my circumstances and take one day at a time.
Kendra - I too a a retired Marine Corps Officer. I met my wife prior to the Marine Corps and she was my soul mate for over 40 years. She left me 5 years ago due to breast cancer. Your advice is wonderful. Marriage as a Sacrament is a genuine description. Thank you. You are a Blessing.
Super inspiring. As a priest, we need witnesses to marriage like this so much in the world right now!
Anti-Semitic bill. I would ask whether it is illegal for Catholics to preach allusions to who betrayed Jesus and who was responsible for his death, and whether it is permissible for the Pope to preach publicly about events that occurred prior to Good Friday. If it is preached is the Pope breaking anti-semitic laws according to anti-semitic laws
We need priests who are consistently faithful to their vows, too.
Was "antisemitic Bill" a participant in this thread? He has departed the conversation.
@@JP2GiannaT@JP2GiannaT 99% of priests are consistently faithful to their vows.
very rare in West, you will find plenty in south India and parts of the world where people are struggling, comforts in life lead people away from fear of God
I was in remission, I’ve recently been informed that not only has my cancer recurred, but it’s spread. I’m also in the Marine Corps. I have surgery Wednesday, May 8th. I’m not really scared for my own life. The past few months before recurrence, I found my way back to Jesus and the Catholic Church. I’m worried for my wife, kids and aging parents. You don’t know me but please pray for my family.
Christ be with you.
Praying for you ❤
Praying 🙏🏻
I just saw this in the very early morning of May 8th and am praying for you and your family.
May God and our lady be with you
I'm 46. Never been married. No kids. I saw one of your videos for the first time yesterday. I thought to my self, wow, so many kids! Blessed in ways that I wasn't! Beautiful woman. Beautiful family. There was a part of me that felt envy. Today I see this video where you share that you're actually now a widow. And of course, I felt shame for feeling envy. For assuming what your life is like.
Good self reflection dude!
@@myfakinusername Definitely the holy spirit manipulating the algorithm to get me to think. 😅
I am 41 and have also never been married and have no children. I think it’s okay to grieve for the life we could’ve lived but didn’t
@@RavennaRamos I'm older than both of you and in the same boat. We are human after all and btw, while it might be late to have children you still can meet your partner, it's not unheard of. Wishing you many blessings. ❤
I'm with you, man. Also never married etc. Thank you for your honest post.
The deck was stacked against my husband and I before we married. We both had terrible examples in our family tree of what marriage looked like. We married at 19 and 22 and have been married 25 years so far. Praise God for the graces in the vocation of marriage because if I hadn't been raised (at least lukewarm so had access to the sacraments) Catholic and wed in a Catholic Mass, I'm sure we would have been divorced a few years in. Our first decade or so was rough! Couples divorce for less than what we did to each other. I love my husband so much. He is my best friend. I cannot imagine life without him or without our 5 beautiful children. God is so good.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I've been struggling with my husband for years. We're still trying to work on our marriage but it's so dysfunctional because of our arguing & horrible things we've done to each other. I agree that many people divorce for less😓 I pray & hope for healing for your marriage & mine & anyone struggling ✝️💗🙏 God Bless you and your family 👼
@@cjm537 Have you read anything by Dr Greg Popcak? He's Catholic, on EWTN radio (maybe TV too), and has written books that have helped save my marriage and definitely changed me to be a better person.
My husband was seriously abused as a child and I did not fully grasp what childhood trauma was until we went thru training to be licensed as foster parents. Do either of you have a history of trauma? I may have another (secular) book recommendation or two.
this is really helpful for me - thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Kendra for sharing your story. I got married at age 49 and both my parents were deceased at the time. Me and my wife dedicated our wedding 💍 to my parents. Been married over 15 years. 💕💕💕
I had stage 4 breast cancer diagnosed on our 13th anniversary. Our girls were 11 and 9. It was the result of the radiologist missing it. When I told my husband I had cancer, he corrected me with”We have cancer.” My family and close friends prayed for me. My concern was leaving my young daughters and my husband who had lost his father, sister, and one brother by age 12. I had two surgeries, 8 chemotherapy treatments over 4 months, and 35 radiation treatments. I had my chemotherapy on “short” days set up by the district on Wednesdays. My radiation was at about 6 am 5 days a week. I was an inner city school teacher in Utah and could have retired, but did not want my students to have subs the rest of the year. Only my principal knew. My students knew I was sick, but that I was not contagious. I fought from September until the end of the school year. The district chose to close our school at the end of that year and the kids went to 3 other schools. God gave me a prayerful husband, family, and friends to get me through. And teaching at a tough school kept my mind off myself. I was inspired by your story. God helps us when we pray.
I was married young (26) my wife (25) and I had a wonderful marriage for 7 years. I lost her to melanoma also, she died only 14 months after diagnosis. We had 2 kids under 5 when she died. I’m now a widower of 11 years, I can’t find anyone that inspires me the way that she did.
❤
I’ve only been married 8 years, but I definitely understand your point about being unable to know the person perfectly. I married my husband after only 10 months of knowing each other and I regret nothing. We married when I was 24 and he was 26 and I feel like we are growing up together. I always tell my husband that I am the wife of his youth! 😂. One of the greatest blessings of being a Catholic? You are there to pray for your husband’s soul after he has passed away. Thank you for this and God bless you!
My wife and I are both 32 and I am dying of cancer. I'll share this video with her for sure.
Please know of our prayers for you
Praying for you 🙏
🙏🙏🙏
@@AscensionPresents Thank you. God bless 🙏🏻
Very sorry to hear that. God is the author of life; let's keep praying..may the Divine Physician heal you completely..
commitment to the institution of marriage will overcome anything
I too lost my wife Leonilda last August. We were married for 47 years and 25 days. Your video is inspiring. I meet my wife while i was in the USAF and assigned to the Azores. Before I left to go over to the Azores, I had a dream that I would have a wife and son when I returned. I did. God gave me that dream and I know my wife and son ARE a gift from God.
John
So terribly sorry to read of your wife’s passing. May God bless you!
Great advice, thanks! We married in our early forties 27 years ago. I felt I could be myself with the woman I married and that hasn't changed. Sure we have our differences but we pray together, go to mass and receive the sacraments together and I cannot imagine what life would be like without that. After the agony of infertility after 7 years we were able to adopt three children and are truly blessed.
Great advice. I've been married to the same man for 56 years...we were barely 18 when we got married. It's been like a roller-coaster at times...we were not only committed to each other, we were committed to the marriage...when things got rough the commitment to the vows we made for life, before God, kept us from throwing in the towel. Both of us came from broken homes and I for one didn't want my children to have to experience the heartbreak of divorce. I'm glad I didn't follow the cultural advice of the day. Looking back it's been an awesome ride..God has done great things, things I could have never imagined.
Marriage as a sacrament. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up. Find a way to make it work. Wife is gone now after 50 years together. Cancer took her. Have always felt I was lucky in love. She felt the same way. We made marriage work together.
May God bless you as you continue on! This is exactly how marriage should be: never give up!
Very good advice so sorry for your loss🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️
Beautifully said. Especially liked the marry the one "whose quirks you can live with". True! Hubby of nearly 35 years will be retiring soon -- so the greatest test to this is coming soon! 😊😊❤❤🙏🙏 Bless you, Kendra. You've often been in my prayers these past years.
Sorry about your husband. God bless you and your family✝
Lady,thanks, I VE been married for 38 yrs to a great match, lost to cancer at 70. What we had I,m fore 3ver grateful for. Ain,t nothing like true love. You are helping other people , bless you, my wife was like you.
I believe that your ministry is a calling from God. What a great idea for a ministry. I'm impressed by your perseverance and determination to give to others to help them in life's journey. Thanks for that. I, too lost my husband to cancer and it's been a bumpy ride. I think the American culture embraced idealism too much in the past few decades. Also, we've tried too hard to force life to be fun and pleasant while it may be difficult and challenging. It may be from God's hand and therefore it's a good thing for everyone.
Your ministry is a good idea and there's a need for your kind of wisdom and sharing. Thank you.
Sacrament rather than contract is key! And committed to commitment (rather than how you feel on any given day) is also important!
As a widower myself I couldn't have put it better myself. Thank you.
It’s important to remember that marriage is NOT an institution to the Church; it’s a Sacrament. That means both that it’s indissoluble, and that it can seem to be contracted, to the world, when it can’t be, before God. You have no idea how blessed you, and all those who feel free to comment in their joy, were to have married a good man who you knew so little about. I thank God for that grace. There are so many who conceal, intentionally or simply through ignorance, major impediments in their heart or mind to truly live the gift of marriage. The world is so much more fallen than many cradle Catholics have experienced. I pray in thanksgiving for all those who have not had to experience the suffering of an a null “marriage,” who have had the grace to avoid the pitfalls of this world, and I pray protection over everyone discerning marriage and watching this.
Excellent advice. I wish every couple, especially young couples, would hear this. Too many end marriages because not enough effort is made, and then live to regret it.
Lovely content. As someone who also recently lost their wife to cancer, much of this rings true, especially commitment (and understanding) the Sacrament of marriage, growing in faith together (and taking the job of getting each other and children into heaven), that 'spark', and giving of yourself to the other. The Sacrament of marriage is beautiful and what God intented for man and woman together.
I relate to Rick W below I lost my wife of 45 years on December 13,2023. We were also a military family. I know I loved her to the last day of her life. I miss her. This advice is on point.
As Catholics - ALWAYS recognize that we are united and bonded to our spouses in Sacramental Marriages…. Especially in todays cultural attacks on marriage and the family!!
Good advice. I recently lost my husband of 41 years, everything you said is true.
❤
Hi Kendra...... Thanks for producing this very practical video..... I've been widowed for nine years after being married for 30 years and then losing my precious "Rose of Sharon" to Stage 4 Brain Cancer......:(. Yuck!! So sorry about your loss as well as mine.....:). Bless you as you keep carrying on with Jesus...... I pray that He brings you into another very blessed Marriage...... Ted Schempp, Nashville (72)..... Psalm 91 & 121...... I'm only sorry that you're wrapped up in "The Unholy Roman Counterfeit Church.... That's right.... you read these words correctly.... The R. C. Church still needs drastic
"Reforming" as Martin so eloquently pointed out over 500 years ago.... but stubbornly it'll never change and we'll all just have to wait and see what Jesus says about even "The Protestant Junk, of which there's also quite a bit...... when He returns..... I'm just a simply "Friend (John 10:27-28) and Follower (15:15) of Jesus....... I have really no use for any "Denominations or "Isms..." 'cause Jesus didn't live and die to establish any either.... Cheers.... and reading C. S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" might enlighten you a bit. This current Pope (and I surely don't dig any Pope) is clearly off the rails...!!! Yuck and double Yuck!!!
There’s a lot of wisdom in your words, Kendra. My husband and I have been married for 12 years so far, based on your advice, I think we’re on the right path. Very encouraging! Thank you!❤
Beautiful, Kendra! Such wonderful real life advice 🎉🎉🎉I bet your saintly husband is so proud of you! Thank you!! 🙏🏻
Married Oct 2001 and still going strong. We both came from broken, dysfunctional homes (we are Xennials) and determined in or hearts that we would do better for ourselves and our children. Praise God for all the avenues of education and self improvement available today. With Jesus in the family, happy, happy home.
Thank you kendra for sharing your story. It was so inspiring to me that i watched it a second time with my husband of 55 years. We agreed some of the things you said made us think about making a few adjustments here ourselves. Thank you so much for your wonderful advice. ♥️
I'm sorry for your loss.
So very helpful. We are approaching 20 years of marriage, and so much has changed. Like you, we are committed to marriage, but that concept was stretched and tested almost to a breaking point. Thank you for your testimony.
Our 50th anniversary is a few days away. Thank you for this beautiful testimony.
I lost my first wife to kidney and heart disease in 2015 after 20 years of marriage. I met another fine lady and married her in 2021. I hope the best for everyone.
You're a beautiful, smart woman, and mom 💖 God loves you.
Your advice is precious for todays world. Sorry for your loss he will be in my prayers as well I will pray for you and your family. You have incredible strength that is guided by our true Catholic faith. Blessings to you
What a lovely and kind presentation. Thank you 🌹
God Bless you for your compassion.
I am grateful for your words.
May God continue to bless you. This is a brave video to post. Well done.
Thanks for this wisdom. Commitment to marriage as indisoluble is a something we didnt share with my wife at the begining but now she now absolutely believes in it.
This is the truth, the person you married has to have the same compatibility as you and also with the commitment to marriage. Great advice! Thanks !
Wisdom given for free... Thankyou . Hopefully a lot of the younger generation take notes
I’m so sorry for your loss 😇your husband is an angel 🤍🤍😇 thanks for sharing
Beautiful message. Thanks for sharing.
I love you my beautiful Sister in Christ. Your journey, even though a difficult one (that I've been following for years), it's been absolutely beautiful. Blessings to you and your family ❤🙏
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how devastating that would have been for you.
I love your commitment to your marriage and the lessons that you learned. That’s beautiful.
Wow! What a wealth of information in a short amount of time. And - of course - I want to know more! Thank you for sharing. May God bless you. ❤
May God continue to bless you
Oh wow . Beautiful. I’m a recent widow and 42 years with my husband was such a blessing. I meet him in the Eucharistic. Thank you for sharing your experience 🙏🥰.
So much wisdom in this message. Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Yes on Compatability! Super important. And Yes their Good Points Far Outweigh everything else. Yes. The Spark. And Yes Committment to marriage.
I wasn't able to watch the video but I read the caption, may God bless you!
What a wonderful tribute to your marriage.
Marriage as a sacrament facilitates the grace to live it - wise words - key take away. Thanks for sharing.
Raw and real. Thank you.
I sense your husband was at peace in the end wishing for you to not be sad and be even closer to God for comfort just as Jesus grieved for Lazarus and gave comfort and life back to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.
God bless you. I live in a loving committed marriage, and cannot imagine your struggles. I was an also a flight instructor! Thank you for speaking on this.
Wonderful advice Kendra! All true!
I've been a silent fan for the longest time, Kendra. And mourned with you and prayed for you when your hubby passed away. I love everything you say here and completely agree with you. We married young too, I was 21, married 34 years so far. It has been a beautiful journey and I pray that many many young people see your video and stop being afraid of the uncertainties of marriage. To them I would say, Pray, jump in with both feet, and grow with each other and with the Holy Family as your guide. God bless you and your family always, Kendra!!
God Bless you 🙏 I'm very sorry for your loss 🕊
Thank you. I enjoyed listening to your words of advice. God bless.
Thank you, Kendra. I agree with you on all points after over 40 years of marriage.
Very nice! Good advice. I would’ve added make God The center of your lives. We change, He does not.
Only through God did we stay married 40+ years, with 10 kids (most adopted, some foster) and I survived 8 brain surgeries.
May God Bless your apostolate.
Nicely said. Thank you.
Many thanks to you Kendra for sound, true advice in respect of this problem that many people have to face at some stage of their life. Being already a Committed Christian, it does make problems easier and through applying the proper thoughts on life/death is quite a bit easier to understand that there is a time for each of us to depart this world.
As a single person, this gives me hope. Thanks.
Peace and consolation, thank you!
❤ thanks for sharing Kendra!
Good advice and it should inspire others
This was really helpful advice for me. Thank you for sharing
Great advice!
This was great. Thank you. God bless you.
This is sad but beautiful. Thank you
This is good advice. Thank you.
My wife, Penny and I worked together as EMT/Paramedic partners on the ambulance for many years. We were a great team on and off duty. Building a successful life together.
Unfortunately, after 43 years together, she passed away suddenly in 2020.
I have since learned to live in this world without her. However, we are together in spirit until I meet her in heaven. I love and miss you, my wonderful wife.
But life goes on.
I lost my husband almost two years ago to cancer. We met April 5 and got married July 5th. We almost celebrated our 32 wedding anniversary. He died I’m May our anniversary was in July. I miss him so very much.
Thank you for your gift.
Excellent ....... Well Done ❤❤
Thank you for sharing.
Kendra....inspiring. Thank you
Thank you so much for the advice. God bless you
Thanks for sharing ❤️🙏🏻
Thank u for sharing ur advice 🙂
When I first stumbled across your blog I think you ‘only’ had 7 or 8 kids. I was immediately impressed and remain so. Your interview with Lila Rose not long after your dear husband passed was heart wrenching. God bless you and all your family 🙏
I know it’s not the point but nice pilot shoutout. Thanks for the video.
My advice still being in my 30’s but in love with my spouse for 20 years: please be careful with any opinions and influences secular friends and family may have about your husband/ marriage. It’s easy to care what they have to say I suppose if it’s a non practicing mom or sister, but ultimately always remember- if they’re committing multiple venial and mortal sins without confession , how wise and good is their advice when they’re not in tune with the sacrament of reconciliation? And if they aren’t in tune with this, are they in tune with the sacrament of marriage? For example, if you struggle with patience with your spouse , don’t surround yourself with people who give you excuses to remain impatient . We can love and pray for our non faithful friends and family, but you also need safeguard your marriage , filtering out all secular “me” advice and discerning what is best for a holy marriage. Holy in conjunction with your spouse.
You have hit the nail on the head. Mariage is not 50-50 proposition. It is a complete commitment to marriage, and a complete commitment to each other. I lost my Sharon (wife of 52 years) 6 years ago. A spark of her life remains within my heart and soul. After Sharon's passing, I thought I would remain single (alone) for the rest of my life.
Then I met Linda (who had been married to Lott for 44 years until his passing.) Linda and I married 4 years ago and I am completely commited to her. I do not own Linds. She is not my possession. All I possess o Linda is a spark of her love within my heat..
I am a Hindu and have had an " arranged " marriage. Then she was 20 and I 24. She came into my life like a queen and left like an angel. She had cancer which was discovered at level 3 +++. The treatment lasted 6 weeks, never a word of complaint. Our physical partnership lasted nearly 33 years minus 7 weeks. I still pray to Bhagwan Krishna to offer her a much better package that what I could ever imagine and to give her shelter in " Vaikunth " the abode of Angels. If I don't pray 7 times a week, at least 5 times. It's 16 years 1 month and 30 days since her departure. Though I am like a one-winged bird, I still thrive for my family the way she would have.....I don't hear her voice yet I feel her silent whispers..... I still walk our path alone but never lonely, I don't hear her voice but certainly feel her soundless whispers.When we were togerther, I felt like a fish and she was my ocean.....with her by my side, the world meant nothing to me......She still is my most cherished treasure of life...... I am so grateful to my parents,my Guru & Bhagwan Krishna to have connected her on my path for nearly 33 years....❤
This is great.
God bless you and your family 🙏🏻 May your husband rest in God's peace
I stand in accord with compatibility and commitment. 43+ years later, 3 kids, and 5 grandkids… I say a spiritual compatibility is key. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you. God bless you.
I lost my fiancee 27 years ago. Raised our daughter before looking for someone.
Dating now is like another reality.