My Current Hallucinations (Schizophrenia)
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
- "There's A Radio Inside My Brain " Video:
• There's A Radio Inside...
My Patreon:
patreon.com/imani_amani
This is just an update on my hallucinations. Sorry it's been a while, but the college semester is almost over. So, fingers crossed, I'll be able to upload more frequently. Enjoy!
![Paranoia [schizophrenia]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qq7bvAAdnr8/mqdefault.jpg)
Considering your own circumstances, what you’ve achieved is definitely admirable. Good luck on your studies.
congratulations on Straight A's and you look fabulous good to see you
Your eyes is making me dizzy lol. How more beautiful can someone be? Sooo beautiful!
your willingness to level up despite your circumstances, is very impressive. Idk if its the take out food, but you look more vibrant and beautiful. Your worth is not determined by your efforts, but this makes me happy because you are working to get better and getting better is always the goal. You might not feel it now but i'm convinced its gonna show in the future. There is light at the end of the tunnel! lets gooo queen
U are fucking smart, like REALLY fucking smart. Its just that you also have rough obstacles to overcome that "normal" people dont have to. And yeah some things while studing are hard depending of the topic. Proud to see you still fighting on
from what i learn "normal peaople" DO deal with it, like i have autism but been friends with some scitzofranic peaople and it seems the "voices" "in the head" are whats called for normal peaople "intrusive thughts" just they HEAR them as VOICES while normal peaople it appears as a thought. and apprently NEITHER of those are from WITHIN and are OUTSIDE thuoghts for normal and voices for scitzofranic, "they" (the system) dont want you to realize that thugh.
You look healthy and beautiful! would love a video on the differences/similarities of schizophrenia and psychedelics. When you're busy with life demands in a positive way, it's hard to be completely distracted with the inner workings of your brain. They say, "Idle hands is the devils playground," metaphorically speaking, of course. I personally think that you also have psychic traits that run congruent with your schizophrenia. I think you are spiritually gifted, and the more you learn about it and how to accept and control, it will be a better flow for you. Remember where your "attention goes energy flows" Glad you are back on UA-cam even for an interim.
from what i understand DPH will make a person schitzo for a day.
😱 OH MY GOD!!! 😱 I was thinking about you and searched your channel and watched one of your videos _JUST YESTERDAY!_ I saw it's been over a year since you've uploaded! *OMG, the timing!!!*
Same!
I literally was about to comment the same thing but just saw this so thought id add here. yeah I literally thought about Imani the other day..like I swear the the past week..we got something going on here with the timing! ahah
Amazing to see you upload, I can tell college is having a positive effect on you. I know you still have to manage your mental health problems but the fact you can rationalise them and not let them hold you back is a testament to your character. Perhaps because of the trials you have faced you have a high emotional intelligence, that makes you the smartest in my book.
Agreed.
my advice is to take at least one class for the summer time to keep your mind active and don't mess up your momentum
Idk because it’s been so stressful and I feel like I need a break
@@MayaImaniAmani I understand totally Amani . When I was in night school and had a full time job, I took breaks between semesters because it was a lot to do and stressful. I never finished because I kept taking breaks, now looking back I realize if I would have just taken one easy class between semesters where I did 3-4 classes, it would have kept me focused and on track. Besides that idle time gives the devil room to play with your mind. As you continue in school, you will get stronger, also exercising is a big plus for overall endurance in every area of your life. If you can join as gym and do some strength training, it will help tremendously with not only you mental health but it will give you more discipline, endurance and greater self esteem. God bless you. Keep going and don't give up on yourself. You are blessing to all of us. Jesus love you and so do I. ❤🙏🏼❤
also that thing you said about depression knocking out your passion, i experienced this for years, but i'm trying like you to throw myself into things... the self awareness to admit it, means you recognise the problem at least for what it is... like i get bursts of happiness and bursts of short-lived passion pursuits that die out then come back, i think that's sort of normal, you'll never always be motivated, it just boils down to discipline, gyms really helped me significantly in many ways too
I'm so proud of you. I've been waiting for an update and this is a very good update. Keep going! We all knew you were super intelligent.
Congratulations on your As, I think your a smart, beautiful, emotionally intelligent human being
I've been diagnosed with "schizophrenic tendencies" alongside rapid-cycling bipolar and I've had two really REALLY bad episodes in my life. In my own way, I get it. You are absolutely amazing for the person you are and for all you've been through. Love you girl. ❤
glad your back!.....your so graceful with it
This is so amazing. So glad you're in school and pulling through. How are you studying despite your mental illness? What are you majoring in? What's you're end goal
I get a lot of help from my brother; he tutors me. I’m majoring in psychology and the end goal is to become a psychotherapist
@MayaImaniAmani is he in school too? Also what o you do when you need to get work done and study but are having a mental episode? I ask bc my mental health is bad but I have an entrance exam to study for.
@@sixteen.candles.4644 he’s not currently in school. When my mental health is bad, I try to take a lot of breaks from studying and just do things little by little. Luckily, my mental health isn’t too bad these days. I actually attempted to start school earlier last year, but my depression got so bad that I had to drop my classes and start over the following semester. Good luck on your entrance exam!
@@MayaImaniAmani I'm glad your mental health is better. Maybe I should do that too. Little by little. Thank you for the advice.
You’re not stupid!!! College is all about learning, you can’t go in it knowing everything. I know you don’t know me but hearing what you’ve been through, you’ve come an extremely long way and I’m so proud of you. Going to college is a huge accomplishment and it’s going to take time to get used to it! You will get through it I believe in you, if you ever need advice just shoot me a message via this thread. I got my masters and it took a lot of trial and error as someone with anxiety, severe adhd, and substance abuse problems. You have lots of strengths and resilience and I cannot wait to see where your story goes
Wowwwww it’s really good to see you , am glad you’re thriving . I’ve wondered if you were alright , since you haven’t made any new videos. It’s good to see your gorgeous face dear. Don’t ever forget how inspiring you are 🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰
YOU ARE SMART!!! I know how it feels to doubt yourself, so I get it. ANDDDD YOU ARE SMART! Just let it sink in for a while. You might start feeling proud of yourself, and it's an odd feeling frfr. You are self-aware enough to catch when you are telling yourself negative things- when it happens, tell yourself or your voice, "We're not going there right now!" and move on to the next thought. This is a technique I have used for emotion regulation and staying grounded. I wish you well. I hope your spirit is lifted soon. You have a lot of people who care about your wellbeing and you could try to use that as a starting point for the motivation to keep pushing. Things will get better. "This too, shall pass." Much love- Allicia
PS, You look gorgeous, as always!
Positive energy brings positivity, so never put yourself down.❤❤❤
you really helped add to my perspective on my mum's condition 5 years ago, she's lovely and doesn't tick any of the harsh stereotype boxes and you came up again today :) you're cool
I'm really glad to see that you've made a new video. Also I love your Bowie poster.
Love on ya. 🙂
Thank you for making this. You're genuinely amazing. Keep on going, you got this. You're truly inspiring
Im so happy to hear from you again. And good that you prioritizing. i would think its hard to fit it all in even if you werent depressed. And smart that you are! That was my thought the first time i saw your video. im not surprised to hear you get good grades😁But just dont oush yourself too hard. love hearing from you, and take care
So fkn gorgeous. Always have been through out the years I have watched you, but you have extra glow on you! W
What a good professor! Also don’t be sorry about not posting. You don’t owe us anything nor we do to you. That is awesome that you got straight As
Welcome back!!!
Missed you soooo much... happy you're doing well in school.. keep it up....we love you❤❤❤
You look amazing! Happy to see you checking in with us!🤗
You’re definitely very smart! I love your calming voice and ability to articulate your thoughts so thoroughly, I found your channel yrs ago and I would listen to you talk for hours while I fell asleep and come back every night to listen to what you had to say. ❤ you’re doing great. You have a very unique outlook on life with a rare experience. I hope all is well and everything gets better soon
Always good to see you Maya!
You’ve always been so beautiful and intelligent, you’ve never been stupid. I’m so happy you’re pursuing college, that’s always been on my bucket list.
Yay! Your back! So happy for you! You seem to be in better spirits too. A video on the early signs of schizophrenia would be interesting,or going more in depth about the voices.
You're looking Fabulous, and you worked hard to get straight As. Congratulations, that's a very impressive result.
Feel proud at your achievements. You have nothing to worry about, and you don't have to compare to anyone else's measurement.
I used, talk and discus things with myself, in my mind. It just helped work things out, like two minds working on a problem.
I had a name for this entity, "ALPHA" I'd imagine an overlay, or holographic over what I'm seeing, like angles, measurements and information.
This helped me solve countless problems fixing things, even in IT issues at my Job.
I had no fear that it was wrong, people couldn't see it.
If you are sensitive, and effected by things, it shows you're more alive than most. Celebrate that difference.
A lot of people in this World seem shockingly numb to what is happening in this Life.
It's almost like they have no Soul. How else, could they pretend, to be ignorant, at the pain they cause or see.
You have Nothing to worry about, at all.
Be the Best You. You deserve it.
I had a similar experience and wrote a whole book during an episode (its unfinished about 8 chapters in) and it talks a lot about "The Plan"
@@paisenbaandoThat’s so cool, you’ll have to show me it when it’s finished.
I'm glad your back. You are very brave and help us to not be alone. Thank you
I'm happy to hear you're doing well. Keep working on yourself, studying, and one day you'll be realising your dream of making that documentary, the trip across the USA you mentioned a long time ago, have a family, and a baby. Haha. Take care. xoxo.
Coming back from 7years ago .😮 THE ✨GLOW UP✨ so pretty 🩵🩵
Last time I saw her was about three years ago...good to hear you are doing well in college and still very pretty!!! 😉👍
Hi Imani! I've followed you for so many years and it's always good to see you! I'd love to have you on my podcast one day to talk about your mental health journey as someone who also struggles and who has had hallucinations in the past
Congrats on your progression with your academics! ❤ You have a great professor if she's telling you to not speak negativity and not speak negative affirmations about yourself. You look amazing and hope you are doing well 🩷
You look amazing!! I’m really proud that you’re getting straight A’s, that shit is hard to do. I somewhat relate to some of this. I’m depressive Schizoaffective, and my brain gets very loud sometimes. It’s like my thoughts, but they’re LOUD, and the entities that follow me put other thoughts in my head that aren’t mine. My brain gets all disorganized and I get overwhelmed
Congratulations. That’s something to be proud of!! You look great. Good luck to you!
I hope you're doing well. Much love to ya!! 🙏🏿
I was just thinking about you! Happy to see a new post
Maya! Proud of you! Keep up the good work at college ✨️
Thank you for posting. I enjoyed listening to you. Have a great day. 👏🏾👏🏾
You are looking good! Congrats on school - I hope to get back to that soon!
Glad to hear from you. Straight A's is pretty impressive to me. I used to have hallucinations about music too. Except mine was about music by me (even though I never actually made those songs) I knew the words to the songs and I had features with famous rappers and I had even diss songs to rappers and and they diss songs on me. I was shooting videos to the songs and I even used to think about my life in detail and how I would be living when I decide to take a break from rap and live life away from the famous life. But this was a different version of me that wasn't dealing with mental illness and was able to function socially with no problem. I also used to think about a TV show I was gonna make with a girl I met online and some of my actual friends knew in real life that I don't hang with due to me being pretty antisocial and I had detailed episodes of that show too and seasons of it. These hallucinations actually used to be a coping mechanism that helped get through depression. I also used to repeatedly watch this documentary about Hunter S Thompson called "Buy the ticket and enjoy the ride" and another one about Ralph Steadman, Hunter S Thompson and Johnny Depp called "For no good reason" and an anime called "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" something about the title of that anime caught my attention (specifically the word Melancholy) and it ended up being exactly what I was hoping it was and between those two documentaries and that anime I was able to convince myself I had hope to become the version of me I was day dreaming about constantly and I think I also got some self awareness from them as well.
I heard voices and did what ever they told me to do and lost plenty of close family I'm glad I have a better handle on it now good to see you doing well I was worried you might have disappeared 🙏🏿
I've had that echo thing with music and people's voices since childhood. It's pretty interesting
you look FANTASTIC!! I have been following you from your first video and I am soooo proud of you!!! Look at you, you are thriving!!!❤
So beautiful and smart, I love listening to you, thanks for sharing your journey of life
I miss you, you feel like that one friend I could absolute relate to and talk to all day. Please do more content
ahh yes an insta click, thank you for the insights and awareness you created imani, were here for you
Just glad to hear from you
❤❤ glad to see you!
Best update ever 👏🏼👏🏼!
You look amazing!
You’re a beautiful warrior. Me myself I’m so tired of my mental illness, I’m even thinking about euthanasia .. experiencing psychosis is a nightmare. I wish just become healthy again. My illness started in 2016;(
don't worry, you're doing great
Don't do it. We all only have 1 life to live. Do your best. It's not easy but it's worth it.
My voices are just as yours but i hear celebrities and its so difficult to not believe they are not really talking to me. Because i did i reading with a psychic and they said i would meet this celebrity that i hear so the confusion is really real
Always happy to see you on my feed ☺️
I'm also schizophrenic and I hear the situation and conversation of this job I worked at 7 years ago it's crazy you have the same thing but not really lol
Please please make a video about psychedelics, and weed. I love watching your videos ❤❤❤
@chantellehampton I can't believe you asked her to make a video about those two things. Are you serious? Or are you THAT selfish? No one who is concerned about her wants to see her talk about that crap. Ughhh. disgusting. If you are really concerned about her well being, you would not make a request like that. She needs to focus on things that are good for her body, her health, and her spirit. I am a black woman, such as yourself, and you should KNOW better. Ughhh. Some selfish people in the world. How about making your OWN video yourself about those two things. YOU, yes YOU do that YOURSELF. You are disgusting for even asking that of her. Go find some decency about yourself and stop trying to "prey" on people. She is not stupid enough to put "junk" videos out, just to please people like YOU. Ughhh.
glad to see ya hope ya do post more i think ill join your patreon when i ca n:)
Very interesting - good luck!
I was thinking about you last week! Hope you're doing well and congratulations on your grades!
I hear and see a black goat. His voice sounds like Tom Waits. Sometimes he is a man. He’s been with me from the beginning. His name is Jack. I too hear music and children laughing. Crazy!! Much love to you!!
I'm so happy to see you :)
Congratulations on eveything...what a recovery ❤
I’m still working on it ❤️
@@MayaImaniAmani off course you are..that's the beauty of youth
You look healthy you’re speaking so clearly now
Thats sooooo coool ! The musick part! Lovit! Ur so awesome omg hahaha i love it and you
You are extremely intelligent, always told you ❤️🥰❤️
i think hallucinations come from your subconscious mind, which is why you can recognize they are coming from you but aren’t necessarily thoughts you are consciously having.
oh hey you:re back, im glad youre doing good, cheers
Can u plz tell us about the alien stories. They sound interesting
Okay
okay its been 2 months we need another update from everyones favorite internet bae
Hey been following you for a while ❤
Thank you ❤️
You smart
Thanks
Lastly, if you ever want to talk to someone, I can give you contact info. Nothing weird, just wanna be someone you can talk to about anything. I’m a therapist but I am not trying to be one for you, just wanna be someone who can help you through your journey by mitigating your loneliness. I think you are such a great person and it pains me to hear you are depressed but it’s so awesome to see you succeed even through that
hii omg i missed your videos
Where you at Maya? Long time no vid. I hope you’re well.
i have closed and open eyes images or video in mind eyes. you are right, its like a broken tv. what meds are you on? did it help to reduce the mental images? i think those music are termed as earworms
Right now I’m taking a lot of meds, but for the hallucinations I’m taking a lot of risperdal and perphenazine. It helps a bit. Earworms are just having a song stuck in your head. What I was referring to was auditory hallucinations
@@MayaImaniAmani do u have bad migraine and insomnia? Sorry to ask are you taking anything for sleep?
🎉❤😊😮every good video. It's good to see your face
do you have problems with weightgain because of your medication? I take Risperdion and i gainend a shitton of weight..
I take that too. It may be a factor in my weight gain, but I think most of it is just lack of willpower on my part
@@MayaImaniAmani i used to take olanzapin and that medication was even worse...
YES. RADIO IN MY BRAIN.
keep up the good work shawty
My voices are like Black Jacques Shellacque French Canadian Hard heads( Northern Ontario variety). For the young folks that name is a character from Bugs Bunny show. I am so glad that you have found positivity. If it turns into Conspiracy theory starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts , I'm all ears and shall rescue you.
You are smart! Good Luck to you.
wow, looking amazing!!!!
Do you sometimes feel like you have an unhealthy relationship with your internal dialogue?
Yeah
@@MayaImaniAmani hmm. I'm schizophrenic too. I was diagnosed 16 years ago though.
#SimpGang we in here ❤
❤️
I was just thinking of you
Also, I know you are a freshman so you are probably in gen ed classes. But I think social work or anything that has to do with mental health is would be such a good career for you because you can relate to those you would help and you could have a unique lense on a lot of that content and also learn more about yourself. That’s just a suggestion though I’m sure you’ll be good at whatever you do, that’s just what I do so I know you’d be an asset. But also do not call yourself crazy! You are someone who has been through so much and your brain is just wired to deal with stressors in a certain way, it isn’t about your intelligence or mental state, you are a smart and good person!
Wow you’re back 🫨
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
how do you handle it? I can't just keep suffering for the sake of suffering anymore. I am tired, do i have to keep fighting all the time?
Are you on any medication and/or therapy?
@@MayaImaniAmani yeah i am on medication and i do therapy but i am just tired of it...
@@Pleiodes I get it. But unfortunately, that’s the way things go sometimes. You should tell your psychiatrist and therapist how you’re feeling. They can help you.
@@MayaImaniAmani i guess you are right. Its just so fucking exausting, because you always have to be on guard over you own thoughts. Really sucks that i can not trust my own mind...
Do you take any meds at the moment? This question is connected with your present "mental condition"
Yes, I take quite a few different medications
you look well
can you close your eyes and make up your own shows that dont exist or its just existing shows?
@@NightmareRex6 I can do both
Amen you are beautiful!! Keep going God created you in his image🙏🏾 There’s power in the Tongue you can do all things through Christ. Keep going