Y’know, I’ve never really gotten the obsession some internet folk have with Neil Breen’s movies, but if their viewing experience was anything like the one I had watching this stream, I completely understand.
I'm just now catching up on Watch+Play and I did not know that the makers of Zoo Race made another game. The stream has just started for me and I am... so giddy. You don't even know. xD
That tiger is straight up a classic WoW rip. You wouldn't believe from the animations it's been given, but it matches a Stranglethorn Tiger down to the stripe pattern.
I love the epic battle between good and evil over whether the lights will go out at a birthday party or a person looks both ways before crossing the street 😅
This really feels like an all-timer. The WTF-ness is off the charts! Edit: 44:15 I......I.....haven't been as speechless at something in a LONG time......
For those that wish to cross-reference bible verses, at 4:20 the two references to "the book of John" are actually referring to two different books of the bible. The first (marked as John 5:19) is actually a verse from the first LETTER of Saint John, not the gospel of John, and should have been marked as "1 John 5:19". The second is correctly marked, and is from the gospel of John.
I watched this and the Prayer Warriors video and suddenly my UA-cam recommendations rocketed back to the Watch+Plays from 8 years ago. There was some truly awful shit played back then. Anyone remember The Quivering?
I love how this game is trying to teach you all this lessons about morality, but the only lesson truly learned is that you can solve all your problems with punching
I played this game the day it came out, as a huge Zoo Race fan! I was one of the people who emailled them about it. I would have never found the zoo race without watch+play, and now I'm the most knowledgeable person about it in the world. It's the type of game that feels like it would be from the old days of watch+play. It's a lifechanging experience. Edit: it's probably just my 100+ hours in zoo race but at this point I genuinely enjoy the shitty ass music in these games. There's so much mediocre music out there that it's doing something different and hence it's good.
Alex's reaction as he realizes what Graham's leading up to is brilliant. Not that I can blame him, my reaction was similar as I realized what sort of pedigree we were about to get today.
Never mixed fireworks and dynamite, but one year when I was little my grandpa let me help set up (he set off) about 15 feet of det cord for the 4th of July. That was fun!
The thing that baffles me is that I don't see how this would appeal to Christians either. Like, if I were a devout Christian I would be highly offended at this depiction of Jesus.
How did y'all make it through the second wall of text about god and whatnot and not even balk at the ... creature doing the Chicken Dance over there above Alex?!
cool so what I'm learning is that the dude who made this game can't tell the difference between thoughts and supernatural intervention. like I also think "don't go in there something dangerous will happen" when entering parties but that's not an angel of the lord. it's anxiety.
I have so many questions but the whiplash I just got from the game wrenching me from "averts natual disaster" to "Sesame Street traffic safety" is making it very hard
Welp, I'm going to either have no reaction or a whole thread of reactions to this, so I'll just self-reply with timestamps if something sticks out. It's just as likely that I'll refrain from commenting further to avoid making a reaction transcript for the whole video.
35:07 Well. That was a lot. We can all agree, however, that Sticky Keys is a tool of The Devil. Flee to Linux on the desktop, the Promised Land! Also, unrelated thing I must ALWAYS REITERATE: Chrome borders on malware and nobody should use it.
41:23 - 41:51 No, there is no middle ground, you must either forgive or *become a SINNER.* If you simply hold men accountable for their actions, those aforementioned American Evangelicals would have a lot of problems! "Everyone gets a mulligan," right?
59:22 IS THAT A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER?! And then they proceed to take "Texas Red" a bit too literally. "The Sheriff" ain't exactly an Arizona Ranger, though.
1:12:36 No dude, you're not supposed to stop the Crucifixion, I'm pretty sure Jesus literally called one of his followers Satan for suggesting that. It's also kind of the point of Christianity. Okay, the dopey rhyming narrator *does* explain this. So I guess it's just a really fucked up dream. Which apparently means God Loves You? ...accidentally throwing deadly projectiles toward Roman soldiers and civilians, then you see Jesus dying on the cross, so you start a fistfight with a Roman soldier and get beaten up, then turn to prayer while Jesus is just sorta there dying in agony. This dream means "God loves you." I think this game might be a message from God. A message that Christianity was a very silly and kinda-fucked-up mistake with twisted morals and jarring nationalistic elements thrown in.
Okay I'm gonna make some notes here. Just to try and make sense of this thing. To quote Batman: "Such a thing! Such an octopus of a thing!" 1. The multitudes of language options are clearly machine generated. They couldn't bother to correctly translate the phrase "[X] language" to the various languages it's written in so I have some doubts about the quality of the translations. 2. The pages of lore and instructions legitimately look like they were written by the Timecube guy. That's not just me seeing things, right? This is the language of clinical paranoia. Combined with the author claiming to see and talk to "spirits" I think it's time to seek a diagnosis. (Important to note, nobody's making fun of this person here. Just his game.) 3. There's so much going on with these words I almost missed the animation of the angel dancing with a spear. It's not what I'd do with a huge stabby spear, but it's totally a legible spear dance. 4. The Bible does NOT say "the whole world is under control of the evil one". John 5:19 has a line from Jesus talking about the son doing as he sees the father do. If one believes such things, drastically confusing a quote like that would seem like a weird mistake. (Revision: Turns out it's an accurate quote from the book of the Other John, just wrongly attributed. Thanks to the other commenter who explained this.) 5. The sins advertised on the main mission select screen (?) include: "Fentanyl Now", "Opioids on sale!" "Girls ♥girls♥girls", "Prostitutes Now" "Live show", Bar, Bar and a third Bar, "Fantasy", a spa (Really?), a "Mafia bosses" banner with I think a picture of Humphrey Bogart, two hotels, one bank (errr), another bar, a casino, "Cocaine now!", "Candy shop" (is it a covert drug store or is candy immoral? Who can tell?), "Smile laugh talk drink shout eat kiss", paint on the street, and what appears to be the same graffiti tag repeated seven times with different colors.
6. Let's make a tally of the let's call them moral dilemmas posed by the game and their good resolutions (where available): * A creeper is looking to "assault" a woman. The angel wants to give the woman divine protection, the demon wants her to just be assaulted. The woman somehow feels empowered by having the man freak out and run away. And with the posters everywhere he'll surely be caught soon I GUESS. * A woman was robbed by two men. The angel wants to mind control the robbers to confuse them, the demon wants them to get away. The woman gets the goods back. The thieves probably won't change their wicked ways or anything but they sure are confused. * A marriage proceeds. The angel approves, the demon wants to wreck their shit with ravens. Nothing happens and they lived happily ever after, probably. * A fistfight escalates to one guy pulling a gun. The angel wants to "inspire a police car" to come and break them up, the demon wants them to fight to the death. Police arrives and faced with a common enemy the combatants run away together. (Maaybe that's how we're supposed to read it?) * Meanwhile back at Storm Fuels gas station (?) a man smokes, which is a catastrophically bad idea really. The angel wants him not to put the cigarette out but throw it away, the demon wants him to keep puffing. The demon wins this once and the man is "injured", or blown into the sky by exploding radioactive waste. * At the statue of liberty (does that torch actually burn/sparkle? I could look it up but I'm gonna assume no) a man sets of some fireworks and blows himself up with eight sticks of dynamite, approximately in that order. The angel wants him to lay off the dynamite, the demon says dynamite is good for you. I don't know why Proverbs is such a funny Bible book to make up stuff about, but good job Fawlsthedrake (Spelling?) Anyhow "an accident free event occurs" as the man rides merrily around on a large scale model sailboat. Graham dies. * A birthday party occurs with fridge magnet writing on the cake. The angel wants some more of that, the demon wants to cozify the party by tripping the power. Okay, maybe it would be equal parts cozy and annoying. The party proceeds in the most uneventful way imaginable. * The Devil bullies a man to try and jump from the shortest skyscraper in New York City. The angel wants to send an angel to give him encouragement (so many questions), the demon wants to let him jump. I think I saw this dilemma in "Yes, Your Grace". The angel's angel, disguised as a human - a very light skinned blonde Black woman for some reason - does a suicide prevention in the most stilted, generic, poorly acted after school special way anyone could dream of. * A masked robber doing a Batman voice holds a rich man at gunpoint in his office. In a wildly unexpected turn, the angel wants to burn it all down with holy fire, the demon wants the angel to keep the fire in his pants. The radio reports a fire in the building, then the fire alarm bell on the wall rings, then a cop runs through the fire and breaks down the door and puts the robber in cuffs. All of that happened. * At Guiseppi's restaurant, who I hope got their money back from the sign maker, there appears to be a gathering of Yakuza sitting around a big empty table talking about crimes, when an innocent man is about to walk in. The angel tells him it'll go badly if he goes in there, the demon tells him it's a fun party, cause apparently they now are angels on his shoulders. The gunfight proceeds with one less casualty. * Agent Starling-Scully here means to shoot 150 year old Edward Norton in his cell, maybe. The angel wants her to be kind and merciful, the demon wants her to act on her bloodthirsty impulse. She forgives her brother's killer, which I'm sure is the best thing for her, and pivots and walks away in a split second as soon as she says the words. * I've watched this scene three times and I "think" it's taking place on an outdoors movie set dressed for a western, surrounded by castle walls made of steel lego. Some farting gangsters are gonna get money from someone and kill them. The angel wants to disrupt their proceedings by summoning an angel (that's a once per day ability, if I remember D&D Devas correctly) to cause some weather disaster, the demon wants to let them go on cause it'll be cool to watch. The angel's angel (still weird) makes the weather so chaotic Obama shows up to campaign for presidency. I'm with the mob boss, rain is nice and makes cigarettes smell better. * Deep in the dark mountainous desert wilderness outside New York City, a guy runs around so scared he starts Blair Witching without even holding a camera. The angel "wants a special person to come minister" to him, which, I have so many questions (Can the angel just conjure people to be there for people? Can I have a person?) while the demon thinks he should die because he's doing drugs, which you'd think the demon would approve of. Former president George HB Bush comes back from the dead (unless he was still alive when this was written? Call me Heisenberg because I'm uncertain) to talk the man down by reading from the Picture Bible. * An eclectic mix of malefactors are up in an office doing ne'erdowell things. (I can only catch about one word in five of the awfully conveyed dialogue in this game but it sounds like they're up to very vague bad stuff.) The angel wants to throw off their plans with an earthquake, the demon wants to see if they're going to shoot each other. Hand it to the angel, he always has some creative ideas, the demon's basically just going "let the bad things happen it's gonna be cool" most of the time. So the city might be laid to ruins, but the gangsters got really scared. We'll call that a win. * A car is about to hit a dog! And the person trying to protect the dog too, probably. The angel decides the car tires will miss the dog, the demon proclaims the dog will be crushed into the pavement. This is what TVTropes calls a "kick the dog" moment. The dog passes smoothly under the car and then the woman runs up to it again and everyone's happy, except causality. * Some bad dudes want to shoot a woman for unclear revenge-like reasons. The angel wants her to be saved by tigers, sorry, Tigers, the demon wants to watch her get shot in the head. I'm starting to get a weird vibe from this dude. Cartoon tigers from the zoo arrives, confusing the heck out of everybody until they attack and chase off the men. * A woman accidentally explodes a huge Buddha statue by stabbing it with a light saber. I'm with Graham, this game is transcendental, the world before this episode of W+P is not the same as the world after. So the angel wants her to be a responsible member of society and pay for it, the demon wants her to be a dick and run away, Kind of refreshing at this point to see something solved without natural disasters. And there are handshakes and good cheer as the people resolve the lightsaber Buddha incident like mature adults. * The game dev himself, judging by the posters of screenshots of the game all over the walls, sits down and has a dream about dueling the Devil with pistols in the old west. The Angel wants to summon Jesus, who I assume will actually spiritually manifest to fight the Devil inside the man's dream, unless it's just a dream; the demon wants the Devil to kill him. The most American Messiah shoots the bad guy and winks at the camera. I think the game is getting predictable. * A priest is close to drowning when a flash flood hits a scaled down Zoo Race level, despite him getting a phone alert from the angel. The angel wants the LORD to show up and save him, the demon seems to think nothing can save him. The storm fortunately ends, so I guess we didn't need this to happen, but still Jesus comes strolling on the river and waves his hands and the priest is back on land. * A woman in an expensive suit is about to walk into traffic. The angel wants her to look before crossing the street, the demon thinks she should just die. Alex wants them to just stop it. Woman walks across street without incident. Though she looks like she's lifting an invisible skirt trail? * Want to drive drunk? Don't do it! This scene has all the setup of poster warning against drunk driving. The angel wants the drunk woman to not drive, reasonably, and the demon wants her to, shockingly. The drunk woman gets arrested by, get this, a LADY cop. If you cut out the angel-demon fight, I've laid farts that lasted longer than this scene and had more content. * Sleeping on a backless couch, a man dreams of doing parkour, watching Jesus on the cross with his crown of desaturated tinsel, and throwing pikes at a dart board with his friends on the streets of Jerusalem. The angel thinks the dream should mean God loves him and guess who thinks the opposite. The man wakes up and goes to church. Maybe we infer he's converted? * An ATM machine [sic] malfunctions and a woman gets no money out of it. The angel wants her to bother the bank manager, the demon wants her to give the machine a thwack, and I'm not sure there are any good guys in this scenario. But the woman becomes friends with the banker, so somehow everyone wins. * EITHER the Devil and his consort decide that they are space aliens and appear as such to a UFO enthusiast to confuse him, OR they turn into a tiny flying saucer and then an actual space alien appears and asks for directions to the bathroom. It should be easier to follow the action here but no. The angel wants the LORD to talk to the man, because why not, and the demon wants the space alien to abduct him, which is why we can't assume it's the Devil in disguise. Jesus appears, frightening both the alien and the earthling away. YOU WIN! No, really. There's 24 of these scenes and I have the feeling while they're randomized, the first and last one are fixed so you always get this as a final boss battle.
7. I choose to take the progress of the fighting game where it gets easier the more you win as an allegory for the cultural dominance of Christendom. 8. The way the angel pops in in every scene and gets his wings in the way so we can't see anything else gets me every time. There may be another allegory here about divine forces interrupting secular life. 9. Windows tip: You can permanently disable the popup to activate sticky keys, if you read the message before clicking "no". 10. The way the angels throw themselves at completely arbitrary situations with even more arbitrary solutions reminds me of a story I wrote, exploring what it would be like to be an angel. Lacking free will, I argue, they're "forced" to act against injustice wherever they see it. But somehow I don't think that's a line of thought this writer was interested in, or even taking any care to objectively think through his ethical dilemmas to try and present an absolute sense of justice beyond human judgment, rather than just deciding his sense of morality is correct and universal. In conclusion, I'm glad I spent six hours writing this.
I think the poster is actually of Edward G. Robinson, who was known for playing a lot of "tough gangster"-type roles, so presumably he represented the mafia.
"I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message" certainly wasn't on my Bingo card, and I can guarantee you that he most certainly does not approve of any message this nonsense is trying to convey lol
The trifecta of political reference jokes in this game makes me seriously think it was actually made circa 2010, not released at the time for whatever reason, and then in 2020 the dev was like, "Heck with it, world's on lockdown, might as well put this out there!"
I'm only 30 minutes into this episode and I have a hypothesis: the creators wanted to have a dark and gritty exploration of sin, so they put s*xu*l assault as the first thing. Then some more reasonable person told them "what? No, you can't put SA in a game we're selling to teach kids about Jesus. What is wrong with you? Make it about, like, PG and G-rated bad stuff happening." They didn't remove the first segment cuz they were lazy.
yall should play the terrible Left Behind 3 pacifist game! Its like an RTS but your trying to out-progaganda the other side to win missions. Also the military is there with tanks but are neutral and you have to turn them to your side for more points. Concept aside, its a baffling game thats half functional
If you weren't here for this, you're not ready. I was there for it, and I wasn't ready either.
I don't think anyone can be ready for this.
there isn't enough ready in the world for this
Y’know, I’ve never really gotten the obsession some internet folk have with Neil Breen’s movies, but if their viewing experience was anything like the one I had watching this stream, I completely understand.
I'm just now catching up on Watch+Play and I did not know that the makers of Zoo Race made another game. The stream has just started for me and I am... so giddy. You don't even know. xD
That tiger is straight up a classic WoW rip. You wouldn't believe from the animations it's been given, but it matches a Stranglethorn Tiger down to the stripe pattern.
Look! I DIDN'T hallucinate that stream!
See? I can prove it!
We've hit Poe's law. This game is indistinguishable from a sh*tpost.
"My precious child, when you only saw one set of bullet holes, it was then that I carried you." - Marshall Jesus
I love the epic battle between good and evil over whether the lights will go out at a birthday party or a person looks both ways before crossing the street 😅
If the lights go out, they won't be able to blow out the candle on the birthday cake!
An Accident Free Event Occurs
Watching this was such a fever dream.
Considering the mind which would create such a thing is a glimpse into the mind of madness.
"Disable this keyboard shortcut in Ease of Access keyboard settings" is a link my dudes 🤣
You know something is completely off the rails when you get an Alex WHAT from Graham.
This really feels like an all-timer. The WTF-ness is off the charts!
Edit: 44:15 I......I.....haven't been as speechless at something in a LONG time......
Obamna
For those that wish to cross-reference bible verses, at 4:20 the two references to "the book of John" are actually referring to two different books of the bible. The first (marked as John 5:19) is actually a verse from the first LETTER of Saint John, not the gospel of John, and should have been marked as "1 John 5:19". The second is correctly marked, and is from the gospel of John.
So, as usual, they didn't read that book they're always citing.
I watched this and the Prayer Warriors video and suddenly my UA-cam recommendations rocketed back to the Watch+Plays from 8 years ago. There was some truly awful shit played back then. Anyone remember The Quivering?
Remember it? That and Spud are two of my favourite W+Ps! “IT’S A LITTLE GNOME!”
Ahh time to settle into a Perfectly Normal Game Stream and-
Good LORD what is going on in there
Is the next highlight reel going to just be a replay of this entire stream because I was not prepared for any of this
How the hell are you going to turn this into an Express edit Jordynne?
I really loved the "Cleanse it with holy fire!" "What!? That's arson!" Angel/devil convo 😂
I love how this game is trying to teach you all this lessons about morality,
but the only lesson truly learned is that you can solve all your problems with punching
I caught this live and I have to say that this was some TOP TEIR trash. I couldn't stop cackling with laughter.
I love that this game was anti-drugs when someone was clearly smoking something when they made this.
To borrow a quote from Max0r:
"This game is not worth any of your money - it will never be - but... holy shit, maybe it was worth my time."
I'm currently only 26 minutes in and already this has been a goldmine for Alex Steacy reaction images.
Why were the sale signs (58:38) in Dutch?!?
I played this game the day it came out, as a huge Zoo Race fan! I was one of the people who emailled them about it. I would have never found the zoo race without watch+play, and now I'm the most knowledgeable person about it in the world.
It's the type of game that feels like it would be from the old days of watch+play. It's a lifechanging experience.
Edit: it's probably just my 100+ hours in zoo race but at this point I genuinely enjoy the shitty ass music in these games. There's so much mediocre music out there that it's doing something different and hence it's good.
I'm just sad to not see the ravens disrupting the wedding, otherwise this was a top notch stream
You could write a thesis on this game as a cross section off the american evangelical
I don't know if even Beautycopter just absolutely stunned me into confused/horrified/morbidly curious/amused silence.
This is the most I have cackled out loud in years.
A classic episode of W+P
this game should be called The Battle of Angels: A Series of Incomprehensible Events
Laughed so hard at this in the middle of the night that it set off a nerve flare, 10/10 no notes
This is the most watch and play episode of watch and play in years 😂
Alex's reaction as he realizes what Graham's leading up to is brilliant. Not that I can blame him, my reaction was similar as I realized what sort of pedigree we were about to get today.
Never mixed fireworks and dynamite, but one year when I was little my grandpa let me help set up (he set off) about 15 feet of det cord for the 4th of July. That was fun!
Watching this game feels like watching mobile ads and down the rabbit hole at the same time
The thing that baffles me is that I don't see how this would appeal to Christians either. Like, if I were a devout Christian I would be highly offended at this depiction of Jesus.
It's a game developed by and for one person
This is a game concept that actually deserves a AAA budget
Every time I thought I had this game understood, it immediately threw another curve ball at me
How did y'all make it through the second wall of text about god and whatnot and not even balk at the ... creature doing the Chicken Dance over there above Alex?!
cool so what I'm learning is that the dude who made this game can't tell the difference between thoughts and supernatural intervention.
like I also think "don't go in there something dangerous will happen" when entering parties but that's not an angel of the lord. it's anxiety.
Did some of the music give other people flashbacks to Moses dancing with animals, or was that just me?
It's the same dev as The Zoo Race, and he makes all of his music himself.
I have so many questions but the whiplash I just got from the game wrenching me from "averts natual disaster" to "Sesame Street traffic safety" is making it very hard
Considering the whole Elijah thing, the part with the tigers is *more* reasonable, if anything.
I'm pretty sure I have a brain tumor because that's the only explanation for what I'm seeing.
And still, this "story" is easier to follow than Beyond:Two Souls...
…are we dancing upon the grave or celebrating the life of Family PC Gaming?
This is the perfect game.
I don't think you're going to be able to _Express_ edit this one.
Oh god evony. That game is the first time I ever used this username.
Right? Doesn’t the winner of the fight always determine the outcome of the fight? 15:48
Anyone else getting flashbacks to Culdcept? “The true winner is determined.” Never could decide if this was trying to encourage persistence.
Could you imagine if every game W&P gets to endure is of this level of Beautycoptian madness?
Welp, I'm going to either have no reaction or a whole thread of reactions to this, so I'll just self-reply with timestamps if something sticks out. It's just as likely that I'll refrain from commenting further to avoid making a reaction transcript for the whole video.
35:07 Well. That was a lot. We can all agree, however, that Sticky Keys is a tool of The Devil. Flee to Linux on the desktop, the Promised Land!
Also, unrelated thing I must ALWAYS REITERATE: Chrome borders on malware and nobody should use it.
36:32 "So he gave me the suitcase and I still went for my gun." "You're a funny guy Joe."
Weird, they gave the cop dialogue to the wrong models.
41:23 - 41:51 No, there is no middle ground, you must either forgive or *become a SINNER.* If you simply hold men accountable for their actions, those aforementioned American Evangelicals would have a lot of problems! "Everyone gets a mulligan," right?
59:22 IS THAT A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER?!
And then they proceed to take "Texas Red" a bit too literally. "The Sheriff" ain't exactly an Arizona Ranger, though.
1:12:36 No dude, you're not supposed to stop the Crucifixion, I'm pretty sure Jesus literally called one of his followers Satan for suggesting that. It's also kind of the point of Christianity.
Okay, the dopey rhyming narrator *does* explain this. So I guess it's just a really fucked up dream. Which apparently means God Loves You?
...accidentally throwing deadly projectiles toward Roman soldiers and civilians, then you see Jesus dying on the cross, so you start a fistfight with a Roman soldier and get beaten up, then turn to prayer while Jesus is just sorta there dying in agony. This dream means "God loves you."
I think this game might be a message from God. A message that Christianity was a very silly and kinda-fucked-up mistake with twisted morals and jarring nationalistic elements thrown in.
Okay I'm gonna make some notes here. Just to try and make sense of this thing. To quote Batman: "Such a thing! Such an octopus of a thing!"
1. The multitudes of language options are clearly machine generated. They couldn't bother to correctly translate the phrase "[X] language" to the various languages it's written in so I have some doubts about the quality of the translations.
2. The pages of lore and instructions legitimately look like they were written by the Timecube guy. That's not just me seeing things, right? This is the language of clinical paranoia. Combined with the author claiming to see and talk to "spirits" I think it's time to seek a diagnosis. (Important to note, nobody's making fun of this person here. Just his game.)
3. There's so much going on with these words I almost missed the animation of the angel dancing with a spear. It's not what I'd do with a huge stabby spear, but it's totally a legible spear dance.
4. The Bible does NOT say "the whole world is under control of the evil one". John 5:19 has a line from Jesus talking about the son doing as he sees the father do. If one believes such things, drastically confusing a quote like that would seem like a weird mistake. (Revision: Turns out it's an accurate quote from the book of the Other John, just wrongly attributed. Thanks to the other commenter who explained this.)
5. The sins advertised on the main mission select screen (?) include: "Fentanyl Now", "Opioids on sale!" "Girls ♥girls♥girls", "Prostitutes Now" "Live show", Bar, Bar and a third Bar, "Fantasy", a spa (Really?), a "Mafia bosses" banner with I think a picture of Humphrey Bogart, two hotels, one bank (errr), another bar, a casino, "Cocaine now!", "Candy shop" (is it a covert drug store or is candy immoral? Who can tell?), "Smile laugh talk drink shout eat kiss", paint on the street, and what appears to be the same graffiti tag repeated seven times with different colors.
6. Let's make a tally of the let's call them moral dilemmas posed by the game and their good resolutions (where available):
* A creeper is looking to "assault" a woman. The angel wants to give the woman divine protection, the demon wants her to just be assaulted.
The woman somehow feels empowered by having the man freak out and run away. And with the posters everywhere he'll surely be caught soon I GUESS.
* A woman was robbed by two men. The angel wants to mind control the robbers to confuse them, the demon wants them to get away.
The woman gets the goods back. The thieves probably won't change their wicked ways or anything but they sure are confused.
* A marriage proceeds. The angel approves, the demon wants to wreck their shit with ravens.
Nothing happens and they lived happily ever after, probably.
* A fistfight escalates to one guy pulling a gun. The angel wants to "inspire a police car" to come and break them up, the demon wants them to fight to the death.
Police arrives and faced with a common enemy the combatants run away together. (Maaybe that's how we're supposed to read it?)
* Meanwhile back at Storm Fuels gas station (?) a man smokes, which is a catastrophically bad idea really. The angel wants him not to put the cigarette out but throw it away, the demon wants him to keep puffing.
The demon wins this once and the man is "injured", or blown into the sky by exploding radioactive waste.
* At the statue of liberty (does that torch actually burn/sparkle? I could look it up but I'm gonna assume no) a man sets of some fireworks and blows himself up with eight sticks of dynamite, approximately in that order. The angel wants him to lay off the dynamite, the demon says dynamite is good for you.
I don't know why Proverbs is such a funny Bible book to make up stuff about, but good job Fawlsthedrake (Spelling?) Anyhow "an accident free event occurs" as the man rides merrily around on a large scale model sailboat. Graham dies.
* A birthday party occurs with fridge magnet writing on the cake. The angel wants some more of that, the demon wants to cozify the party by tripping the power. Okay, maybe it would be equal parts cozy and annoying.
The party proceeds in the most uneventful way imaginable.
* The Devil bullies a man to try and jump from the shortest skyscraper in New York City. The angel wants to send an angel to give him encouragement (so many questions), the demon wants to let him jump. I think I saw this dilemma in "Yes, Your Grace".
The angel's angel, disguised as a human - a very light skinned blonde Black woman for some reason - does a suicide prevention in the most stilted, generic, poorly acted after school special way anyone could dream of.
* A masked robber doing a Batman voice holds a rich man at gunpoint in his office. In a wildly unexpected turn, the angel wants to burn it all down with holy fire, the demon wants the angel to keep the fire in his pants.
The radio reports a fire in the building, then the fire alarm bell on the wall rings, then a cop runs through the fire and breaks down the door and puts the robber in cuffs. All of that happened.
* At Guiseppi's restaurant, who I hope got their money back from the sign maker, there appears to be a gathering of Yakuza sitting around a big empty table talking about crimes, when an innocent man is about to walk in. The angel tells him it'll go badly if he goes in there, the demon tells him it's a fun party, cause apparently they now are angels on his shoulders.
The gunfight proceeds with one less casualty.
* Agent Starling-Scully here means to shoot 150 year old Edward Norton in his cell, maybe. The angel wants her to be kind and merciful, the demon wants her to act on her bloodthirsty impulse.
She forgives her brother's killer, which I'm sure is the best thing for her, and pivots and walks away in a split second as soon as she says the words.
* I've watched this scene three times and I "think" it's taking place on an outdoors movie set dressed for a western, surrounded by castle walls made of steel lego. Some farting gangsters are gonna get money from someone and kill them. The angel wants to disrupt their proceedings by summoning an angel (that's a once per day ability, if I remember D&D Devas correctly) to cause some weather disaster, the demon wants to let them go on cause it'll be cool to watch.
The angel's angel (still weird) makes the weather so chaotic Obama shows up to campaign for presidency. I'm with the mob boss, rain is nice and makes cigarettes smell better.
* Deep in the dark mountainous desert wilderness outside New York City, a guy runs around so scared he starts Blair Witching without even holding a camera. The angel "wants a special person to come minister" to him, which, I have so many questions (Can the angel just conjure people to be there for people? Can I have a person?) while the demon thinks he should die because he's doing drugs, which you'd think the demon would approve of.
Former president George HB Bush comes back from the dead (unless he was still alive when this was written? Call me Heisenberg because I'm uncertain) to talk the man down by reading from the Picture Bible.
* An eclectic mix of malefactors are up in an office doing ne'erdowell things. (I can only catch about one word in five of the awfully conveyed dialogue in this game but it sounds like they're up to very vague bad stuff.) The angel wants to throw off their plans with an earthquake, the demon wants to see if they're going to shoot each other. Hand it to the angel, he always has some creative ideas, the demon's basically just going "let the bad things happen it's gonna be cool" most of the time.
So the city might be laid to ruins, but the gangsters got really scared. We'll call that a win.
* A car is about to hit a dog! And the person trying to protect the dog too, probably. The angel decides the car tires will miss the dog, the demon proclaims the dog will be crushed into the pavement. This is what TVTropes calls a "kick the dog" moment.
The dog passes smoothly under the car and then the woman runs up to it again and everyone's happy, except causality.
* Some bad dudes want to shoot a woman for unclear revenge-like reasons. The angel wants her to be saved by tigers, sorry, Tigers, the demon wants to watch her get shot in the head. I'm starting to get a weird vibe from this dude.
Cartoon tigers from the zoo arrives, confusing the heck out of everybody until they attack and chase off the men.
* A woman accidentally explodes a huge Buddha statue by stabbing it with a light saber. I'm with Graham, this game is transcendental, the world before this episode of W+P is not the same as the world after. So the angel wants her to be a responsible member of society and pay for it, the demon wants her to be a dick and run away, Kind of refreshing at this point to see something solved without natural disasters.
And there are handshakes and good cheer as the people resolve the lightsaber Buddha incident like mature adults.
* The game dev himself, judging by the posters of screenshots of the game all over the walls, sits down and has a dream about dueling the Devil with pistols in the old west. The Angel wants to summon Jesus, who I assume will actually spiritually manifest to fight the Devil inside the man's dream, unless it's just a dream; the demon wants the Devil to kill him.
The most American Messiah shoots the bad guy and winks at the camera. I think the game is getting predictable.
* A priest is close to drowning when a flash flood hits a scaled down Zoo Race level, despite him getting a phone alert from the angel. The angel wants the LORD to show up and save him, the demon seems to think nothing can save him.
The storm fortunately ends, so I guess we didn't need this to happen, but still Jesus comes strolling on the river and waves his hands and the priest is back on land.
* A woman in an expensive suit is about to walk into traffic. The angel wants her to look before crossing the street, the demon thinks she should just die. Alex wants them to just stop it.
Woman walks across street without incident. Though she looks like she's lifting an invisible skirt trail?
* Want to drive drunk? Don't do it! This scene has all the setup of poster warning against drunk driving. The angel wants the drunk woman to not drive, reasonably, and the demon wants her to, shockingly.
The drunk woman gets arrested by, get this, a LADY cop. If you cut out the angel-demon fight, I've laid farts that lasted longer than this scene and had more content.
* Sleeping on a backless couch, a man dreams of doing parkour, watching Jesus on the cross with his crown of desaturated tinsel, and throwing pikes at a dart board with his friends on the streets of Jerusalem. The angel thinks the dream should mean God loves him and guess who thinks the opposite.
The man wakes up and goes to church. Maybe we infer he's converted?
* An ATM machine [sic] malfunctions and a woman gets no money out of it. The angel wants her to bother the bank manager, the demon wants her to give the machine a thwack, and I'm not sure there are any good guys in this scenario.
But the woman becomes friends with the banker, so somehow everyone wins.
* EITHER the Devil and his consort decide that they are space aliens and appear as such to a UFO enthusiast to confuse him, OR they turn into a tiny flying saucer and then an actual space alien appears and asks for directions to the bathroom. It should be easier to follow the action here but no. The angel wants the LORD to talk to the man, because why not, and the demon wants the space alien to abduct him, which is why we can't assume it's the Devil in disguise.
Jesus appears, frightening both the alien and the earthling away. YOU WIN!
No, really. There's 24 of these scenes and I have the feeling while they're randomized, the first and last one are fixed so you always get this as a final boss battle.
7. I choose to take the progress of the fighting game where it gets easier the more you win as an allegory for the cultural dominance of Christendom.
8. The way the angel pops in in every scene and gets his wings in the way so we can't see anything else gets me every time. There may be another allegory here about divine forces interrupting secular life.
9. Windows tip: You can permanently disable the popup to activate sticky keys, if you read the message before clicking "no".
10. The way the angels throw themselves at completely arbitrary situations with even more arbitrary solutions reminds me of a story I wrote, exploring what it would be like to be an angel. Lacking free will, I argue, they're "forced" to act against injustice wherever they see it. But somehow I don't think that's a line of thought this writer was interested in, or even taking any care to objectively think through his ethical dilemmas to try and present an absolute sense of justice beyond human judgment, rather than just deciding his sense of morality is correct and universal.
In conclusion, I'm glad I spent six hours writing this.
I think the poster is actually of Edward G. Robinson, who was known for playing a lot of "tough gangster"-type roles, so presumably he represented the mafia.
"I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message" certainly wasn't on my Bingo card, and I can guarantee you that he most certainly does not approve of any message this nonsense is trying to convey lol
The trifecta of political reference jokes in this game makes me seriously think it was actually made circa 2010, not released at the time for whatever reason, and then in 2020 the dev was like, "Heck with it, world's on lockdown, might as well put this out there!"
@PharaohBender27 I'd think this was the case if it hadn't had trailers released for a few years before it came out lmao
45:50 Hey, it's Obama-approved! WTF 😂
I'm staring at "Bethel Temple" (not Beth-el temple) with the cross in the star of David and... oh no was made by messianic "jews"?
This game almost literally killed Alex.
OBAMA???
BUSH????????
Oh, you haven't gotten to Palin yet
I was reading your comment, no joke, the moment she showed up.
I saw the "BUSH????????" reply last night and went, "Wait for it . . . wait for them to get to the third beat . . ."
I'm only 30 minutes into this episode and I have a hypothesis: the creators wanted to have a dark and gritty exploration of sin, so they put s*xu*l assault as the first thing. Then some more reasonable person told them "what? No, you can't put SA in a game we're selling to teach kids about Jesus. What is wrong with you? Make it about, like, PG and G-rated bad stuff happening." They didn't remove the first segment cuz they were lazy.
Update: Angelic arson?!? What is... I can't even.
yall should play the terrible Left Behind 3 pacifist game! Its like an RTS but your trying to out-progaganda the other side to win missions. Also the military is there with tanks but are neutral and you have to turn them to your side for more points. Concept aside, its a baffling game thats half functional