@ I’ve cut off all contact. My husband tried talking to his parents about it, first his step mom tried to lie and then she went ballistic and started screaming. I refuse to deal with her or my FiL anymore. This is the first year I’m not going there for Christmas.
A little off topic but I'm seeking some Godly advice and guidance when it comes to walking away from toxic parents. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. I am 55 years old. My sister is 2 years younger, and we both come from the same mom. She left us with our dad when I was 4 for her own personal reasons. From that forward to now he has done nothing but make it known his hatred for her. He remarried someone very shortly after she left, I think for revenge and we were no longer aloud to call my mom, mom. We had to call her by her first name and my step mom was "mom" and this was after just 3 months of them dating. Anyway, my sister and I have paid a severe price because of who our mom was. When my dad got his son in his 2nd marriage the favortism has been a constant obvious slap in the face. We have been disowned as adults when they learned that I had my mom babysit for me while my husband and i went to a leadership conference through our church. They went at least 3 years not speaking to my sister or I or any of their grandkids. Then some time had passed but eventually they disowned us again because we had something to do with our mom again. Long story short is they cop such an attitude anytime they learn either one of has anything to do with our mom. We have tried to talk with them about this but they want nothing of it. Now the relationship is very superficial and distant but my dad DEMANDS that we "honor" them as the Bible says to. I am getting a clear vision of just how cursed his family is because of his bitterness and resentment that i want no part of it. I want out from under this curse once and for all but don't know what that all entails nor do I know if its Biblical. I don't want to break the commandment of hinoring your mother and father but I also don't want to expose myself or my family to this curse anymore. They both are Christians and still don't see the error of their ways. Any advice on this would be welcome please!
When we are young, we never truly see our parents; as we age, we can agree and disagree based on our understanding of the world. I look at everyone and see what Jesus said to love their neighbor as themselves self, even if they are different than me. Minister to your parents, and show them in the scripture. If you're walking in Jesus, you are in good council, so your parents overruling your authority isn't needed. But then I see this with people coming into a country based on Christian Values, too; the US was founded on freedoms based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. So those who are coming into the US illegally are looking to minister to Know Jesus because the prosperity of the country is based on the values Jesus promotes. The same holds true for Canada; why else would people seek to come to a country unless they need Jesus?
But it's also true that if the grandchild is under the grandparents' roof, then they are under their rules. The parents don't get to control everything the child does while they are under the grandparents' supervision. The same goes for teachers, pastors, coaches, etc. Parents shouldn't undermine the authority of other figures in their children's lives.
I wish I could have shown this to my in-laws 18 years ago
It’s even worse when they do it behind your back by saying inappropriate things to your kids to fracture the parent child relationship.
Those are grounds for walking away. Trust me you want to build a new healthy offshoot. I’m 7 years in
@ I’ve cut off all contact. My husband tried talking to his parents about it, first his step mom tried to lie and then she went ballistic and started screaming. I refuse to deal with her or my FiL anymore. This is the first year I’m not going there for Christmas.
A little off topic but I'm seeking some Godly advice and guidance when it comes to walking away from toxic parents. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. I am 55 years old. My sister is 2 years younger, and we both come from the same mom. She left us with our dad when I was 4 for her own personal reasons. From that forward to now he has done nothing but make it known his hatred for her. He remarried someone very shortly after she left, I think for revenge and we were no longer aloud to call my mom, mom. We had to call her by her first name and my step mom was "mom" and this was after just 3 months of them dating. Anyway, my sister and I have paid a severe price because of who our mom was. When my dad got his son in his 2nd marriage the favortism has been a constant obvious slap in the face. We have been disowned as adults when they learned that I had my mom babysit for me while my husband and i went to a leadership conference through our church. They went at least 3 years not speaking to my sister or I or any of their grandkids. Then some time had passed but eventually they disowned us again because we had something to do with our mom again. Long story short is they cop such an attitude anytime they learn either one of has anything to do with our mom. We have tried to talk with them about this but they want nothing of it. Now the relationship is very superficial and distant but my dad DEMANDS that we "honor" them as the Bible says to. I am getting a clear vision of just how cursed his family is because of his bitterness and resentment that i want no part of it. I want out from under this curse once and for all but don't know what that all entails nor do I know if its Biblical. I don't want to break the commandment of hinoring your mother and father but I also don't want to expose myself or my family to this curse anymore. They both are Christians and still don't see the error of their ways. Any advice on this would be welcome please!
3:13 , that's when grandparents don't get to see the kids anymore
When we are young, we never truly see our parents; as we age, we can agree and disagree based on our understanding of the world. I look at everyone and see what Jesus said to love their neighbor as themselves self, even if they are different than me. Minister to your parents, and show them in the scripture. If you're walking in Jesus, you are in good council, so your parents overruling your authority isn't needed.
But then I see this with people coming into a country based on Christian Values, too; the US was founded on freedoms based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. So those who are coming into the US illegally are looking to minister to Know Jesus because the prosperity of the country is based on the values Jesus promotes. The same holds true for Canada; why else would people seek to come to a country unless they need Jesus?
But it's also true that if the grandchild is under the grandparents' roof, then they are under their rules. The parents don't get to control everything the child does while they are under the grandparents' supervision. The same goes for teachers, pastors, coaches, etc. Parents shouldn't undermine the authority of other figures in their children's lives.