Watch This Before Dating Older Men feat
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- Опубліковано 9 лис 2023
- Are you young and attracted to mature men? Many younger women are dating older men, but is it really worth it? Anna Akana was in her twenties when she had a public relationship with Ray William Johnson, and she's here to tell us why it was a huge mistake. Hear her story plus the joys of dating older men today. Learn why Anna thinks women younger than 25 should be warned about the possible repercussions before taking the plunge. Dive into this episode now if you're interested in learning more about what it's like to date an older partner.
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Oh. My. God. Stop the world. Greatest crossover of all time!!!
i have imagined this for years this is monumental!
@@pherranine eeeeek
They’ve always been friends I knew it was gonna happen! Lol
right!!!
YES I LOVE THEM BOTH
Omg she nailed it with the thing with kids. When people ask me if I want kids I always think 'Am I with someone reliable? Otherwise nope'
I agree. What they seem to miss in this discussion: You can decide to only date people who are reliable like that and fit your criteria for a husband and father. You have total control over if you are with a person like that or not.
Also my second criteria was: Do I live in an environment where it makes it easier to raise kids? For me that meant living in a small town or in the countryside and having a good social network geographically close.
Well blk women don't think that way sleep with a small amount of degenerates they age have kids and blame all blk men for being dead beats. Meanwhile the truth is 54% of blk men don't even have kids. 30% are married so where are all the dead beats coming from? They decision making in men. Thank you for proving our point that women can consciously pick men on logic and emotions. So if yall can be so damn loud about picking older men why you not loud about picking bad boys or toxic dudes or sex over character intelligence over looks. No? Why? Oh ok 👍
"'Am I with someone reliable? Otherwise nope'"
Males grow into the father role like females grow into a mother role. Modern females are birthing inadequately and seem capable of little more than feeding a poodle or chihuaha
@@anthill1510 You do, but people switch up and men often START being violent when a woman is pregnant. Did you know that the highest rate of death for pregnant women is from murder?
Yeah if an women delays having an guys kids it pretty much means what they think of the dude
The main thing with large age gaps of 15years + is that at some point in the younger spouses life the marriage transitions to the caregiver role and that is when the fallout begins. The young spouse still has "energy and life" while the older is in the "twilight, lights off" stage and that can go on for years. Not an easy thing.
Yes and since men tend to neglect their health more than women and women are natural caregivers....the women will be turned into a caregiving nurse while she is still vital and fit. There are men out there who seek out very caregiving nurturing women to drain them for everything they have to give. So watch out with some older men out there
Older men will suck the life out of you. He doesn't want you for your kindness and amazing personality. He literally craves your youth and vibrancy. He craves the energy and ego boost. He already took it from women his age and now that he is older and realizing his mortality he wants a second wind.
@@joanofarcxxiLol so why do women choose those men over men their own age?
@@thrilla72a lot of times it's because men there own age want you to be younger than them too. It's not that women don't pick men there own age I've seen all kinds of weird couples out there but women don't exactly pick men they pick us there the ones that do the chasing so we don't pick them we just get dragged into it. The only ones that chase men are prostitutes but some women don't think about these things when there young because nobody taught them that they have a choice here they make her feel obligated to be with them it's mostly blackmail and manipulation..
@@unicorn73212 Listen, please don't play that card. Women definitely chase men, they just don't make it overt, hence social media, dressing up, make up, night clubs. A 20 year old man is not looking at a 19 or 20 year old woman and turning her down for much younger women unless he's a freak.
Got to be blunt but a 40 year old man wanting a younger woman makes biological sense, we are programmed to procreate, doing that with a similarly aged woman is a miracle. Seeing as woman love a man with resources him being old isn't such a problem as his virility won't have dropped as much.
As a healthcare worker, I would strongly dislike the burden of caring for a much older partner. I would not romanticize it like AA here
Thank you, some things were said too lightly
You are an unfeminine woman, you will not make a good wife with an uncaring attitude.
Happiness is temporary whether you go young or old. Nothing wrong finding him a nursing home once the usefulness is gone and you still have his money.
youre a healthcare worker... you guys have trouble to romanticize ANYTHING
lol dont take it personal
That's why she's dating two ppl 😂😂😂
I clocked Shan redirecting Anna’s questions back early on and just wanted to applaud her for being a great interviewer. 🎉🎉 We see you!
It's so interesting to me that Anna Akana normalized her parents age gap.
My mom is 58 and my dad is about to turn 80 years old, and since I was very young I made the decision that I cannot replicate that in my own life. At least what I've seen, is that it is terrible
Hi, just curious, how so? What was terrible
smart!
Your parent's have a much larger age gap than Anna's parents.
@@britneyt9253I’m in the same situation and what I can say is the morals are not in alignment. They had attraction but as time went on they have different things they couldn’t agree on which overall was the reason of their split.
@@kimberlina.54The morals were not in alignment what does that even mean? And what does that have to do with age?
Y'all are equally yoked and it comes across so well and quite loudly. I'd assume your convos could go on for hours and render soooo many aha moments. How refreshing.
such a huge compliment thank you
28:24 tbh I'm dating a 23-yo man as a 28-yo and he's the exact same. He's straightforward, no games or hot&cold/push&pull, he just likes me and wants to be with me and shows me that daily. 🤷🏽♀️ So I don't think it's _older_ you have to date to find that, it seems it's just _more well-adjusted_
Yeah, when she said older men are a certain way I had to laugh. I know so many dysfunctional older men lol I guess she's probably around a different pool of older men who probably have more stable lives
@@D.T_ sure but Anna is 34 and she's saying you need to date in the 50-60's to reliably find stable personalities. That's just incorrect.
Yess, I am 29, my boyfriend is 28 and he is so open, loving and a great communicator. It's about the individual, not the age.
Dating with intentions which is key 98% of women don't they go with the flow
Love your outfit Shan! A Hoodie with nylons *takes notes* super cute. Also this episode was so right. Anna was def the right person to include in the discussion because she really owns her experience. Both of your openness and vulnerability is so beneficial to the world. Thanks for being willing to open your hearts and your minds up for the benefit of others.
I would love to hear the other side! Older woman with a younger man as it was my most recent experience and would like to hear your perspective! Great podcast as always ❤
Honestly didn't know what to expect with this conversation but I came out of it really enlightened and with a perspective I hadn't considered before.. perhaps the most intellectual exchange i've ever heard on this topic. Really appreciated how self-aware and well-read Anna is and of course Shan as always asking really though-provoking questions and tying each episode into the ad breaks and sponsorships somehow lol.. wow! Might be my favorite episode so far (and I have watched and listened to practically every episode..)!
Ana Akana: Men shouldn't date younger women.
Also Ana Akana: I'm dating 2 men, one 51, one 60.
😂😂😂 I had to press backwards to listen to her say that again. Anna just scared the crap out of me! Why? Just why?
@@Owl8511 she just terrified all of us.
hypocrites giving advice to hypocrites
not listening obviously. she basically said avoid a big agegap til you're at least late twenties yourself
@@zacharyb2723 what's so special about your late 20s, why not mid 20s?
That's an arbitrary benchmark.
Also, there are plenty of women that attack men for age gaps regardless of how old the woman is.
So glad this video was made and especially with the two of you! I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship in my early 20’s and sought out anyone outside of it that made me feel anything good - as my ex threatened to unalive himself after he cheated on me (and tried to in front of me). The man I started seeing was 29, I had just turned 20 and it has taken years of therapy/self-reflection to fix myself from that relationship; even moreso than my first ex. The power dynamic is real in that situation and can do damage in the moment, and for years to come unfortunately.
While you were actively working through the pain & trauma did you date during that time or stayed single ?
9 year difference is nothing.
@@DX-d it’s a big difference when she was a baby he was 9yrs old….
@@DX-d it is a lot when the younger one is in their early 20s or younger. Not an adult yet brain wise (though it is legal)
omg shans summary of games was so insightful!
OMGGGGG THISSSSSS!!!!!!!! So engaging also!
I’m 27 and happily married to my husband who is 40. He’s just as energetic and playful at heart as I am. I’ve felt nothing but loved in a massive way, respected, heard, seen. No other man has been as selfless as him.
There are so many good men in their mid 30’s and early 40’s that have just not found their one. A cousin of mine is happily married to a man who has a 20 year age gap from her.
I started dating my husband (then boyfriend) at 24. We had several years of knowing each other in passing and several common friends. So of course, as a lady, I felt safe and wasn’t just dating some random older man.
Age actually doesn’t matter. The discernment of the ladies choosing does. Ladies, be wise and take care of yourself. We can’t always control what happens to us in life.. but as much as possible make it so you’re not easy to manipulate.
Choose well and be strong.
Yeah. I think this video is less about whether we should date older, or not, but more about whether the subject of the interview feels like it’s OK for her to want what she actually wants. Sounds like you and your friends knew what you wanted, but I don’t think that the subject of this interview does.
Shan's legs!😁 Episode was both aesthetically pleasing and thought-provoking 😍😄 Thank you
Ive always dated older (10 - 20 years), unfortunately at 53 its getting weird and older men are not my preference. Good convo!
As someone who is married to a man 16 years older, it never would have worked if we hadn’t met at the right time in each other’s lives. I had already had a 5 year marriage, 2 kids and a divorce. I never fit with my peers. He had spent all his time focused on career and only recently decided he wanted a family. Was still a huge learning curve for us both. But I don’t really notice the age gap at all unless it comes to health. Over all, our very different life experiences balance the playing field out.
All that said, I wouldn’t recommend the average 20 something year old date someone that much older.
Health is to do with how one takes care of themselves or just unfortunate inherited traits but you will know about those early on
@@thrilla72 problem is you have no idea when health is going to hit you, I've been around a lot of old people in my life, and I mean old old, as a teen. I had seen it all from a healthy looking 46 year old needing to take 1 hour just to get around the yard. To a spry 78 year old chain-smoker with a bit of a beer gut who could still play and keep up with us teens playing tennis for 40 minutes before needing a break. He never let us win, I was the first one to do it and I didn't beat him until he was 82 and I was 13.
I really lucked out, my body told me to go F myself just out of the blue in my mid 20s, one minute everything is fine while I'm at work, the next I'm in the hospital life forever changed. And then a few more years passes by and I get told I'm on the clock.
This is where the exception is. You had lived a life, matured. These men mostly go over naive, with no life experience, so they can control
Great video topic! At 21 and 25 ive dated 3 men who were 5-8 yrs older. Based on those experiences this is what I’ve learned to be cautious of when dealing with older men:
1.If they think they’re experts because of their age/ experience, there’s often a lack of curiosity about MY desires, thoughts, or need for adventure.
2. Often stuck in their way and want someone who is younger to work through THEIR rigidity yet are hesitant to compromise with my requests that require a mindset shift.
3. Passive aggressive attempts to mold me/ my personality into their ideal partner instead of accepting me as I am.
At this point in my life dating older is unimportant to me. I’ve grown to the point where I’m open to dating someone my age and I’ve almost developed a preference for no more than a 4 year age gap.
I’ve learned that age does not equate to emotional maturity and wisdom. It’s someone’s character, values, emotional intelligence and open mindedness that I now consider to be the biggest signs of maturity. I also want a partner who I can experience things with for the first time and we can learn from them together which might be more likely with someone closer to my age.
This is so spot on thank you for sharing ❤
How is a 5-8 year difference is a mentionable gap?!
You are a used girl, not virgin. Who cares?
At this point in your life no man wants you that is why you are alone.
@@DX-dright. thats not age gap relationships. i think people think if youre not with someone who is 1-2 years within your age, its an age gap relationship. lol
I love this, I have followed you both for a long time and this is amazing!!
Thank you for listen to our request.
I do agree 100% with the dad. "If you accept money from him, he will not respect you." But the age is not the issue here. When money becomes "shared" the other needs to provide something of equal value. If one provides cash, the other should provide clean house/food/something the other can't provide themselves.
Any man that offers money to a woman they are dating without asking for anything in return, then he is expecting something you may not be willing to give. RUN!
In any healthy relationship you need to bring something to the table before you accept anything from someone. This could be physical, mental, sexual, or financial. We get into a relationship for two reasons.
One is the happiness of having someone who cares for you.
Two is they provide something that you cannot provide yourself.
Back when she was in her 20s she was okay with it. Now that she is in 30s its not okay. Shaming dudes, well stablished guys stop dating young women, go for women in their 30s or older. When she gets to 40 dont be surprised that she would shame for dating women in their 30s.
They want to change biology, but they wasting their time, because right now 90% of women on dating apps want the top 10% of men and most are in their 30s and older.
If you’re a woman that want to marry in your 10s and have have kids, then getting a man who older and financially ready for a family is the best option.
There’s nothing empowering about childless older women🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Personally speaking, I was always attracted to older men because they had their finances in order. However none of those relationships worked out due to us having many differences & these older men had too much baggage! They also loved to play a fatherly/ mentor role & tell me what to do. (Control) SMH. My best relationship had no age gap. We’re the same age & we been married for over 16 years now 🥰 I love how we’re always on the same page. We have the same views on how to raise our kids & what we want for our future. We have alot in common & we experienced a lot of firsts together. Plus he had no baggage! Age gap relationships can work for some people, but I wouldn’t recommend it lol
Glad you admitted that it was the finances that made you go over there. A lot of great men get overlooked by women their age for men who have more finances. Got to take accountability
@@thrilla72 why else would a younger women seek a man past his prime? Lol He has to counter balance the fact that he’s old by having his money & fitness together 😂 The power dynamic between an older man and younger woman will always come into play..
@@prettyllady Power balance?
@@prettyllady you're using a lot of arguments men use on women, it seems like you're projecting a little. Also, are you guys splitting household and financial duties in your current relationship?
@@thrilla72For what? Why shouldn't a woman want a man who is financially stable? Guys extract so much from women in every way possible, no wonder married women get more auto immune diseases and die younger than single women; y'all energy vampires.
What's interesting is, that Anna doesn't seem to realize that she is being used by her partners even more than in her relationship with Ray William Johnson.
Yes, she might be a little bit more mature, than when she dated RWJ. But once she's in her 50's and 60's herself, as the guys she dates are, she will realize how much she seems like a child now to her partners. A lot more than in her previous age gap. They are literally old enough to be her fathers. She probably doesn't realize that those men are dating her, only because she's a young attractive woman, who looks like she's in her early 20s/late teens. Yet she finds it weird that a man in his 30s found her attractive when she was almost 20. It doesn't make sense, considering that she dated a 21 year old at 32.
There's a bigger maturity gap despite her "baked prefrontal cortex" than in her relationship with RWJ. Her financial and career success doesn't make up for her lack of character growth and intelligence, judging by some of her statements. If she's just into old men, that's fine of course. But I think she's aware that it's almost only about her body. She has an unhealthy view on relationships.
It's just probably going to be a rude awakening in her 50's and 60's.
This is really predictable, women hate that men can date younger, whereas with women dating younger doesn’t really work the same. This really highlights the difference between men and women and shuts down the silly idea that women can do everything a man can do.
@@graykennedycapital789 it's not even about that, while there is truth to it simply due to the differences in what men and women generally find attractive about each other.
i was pointing out her lack of intelligence, trauma and pseudo-deep rambling. she can't seriously demonize a man for dating a younger woman, but do the same thing as him and on top of that go on to date somebody twice her age now.
I hope no young girl sees this and thinks that she is a role model or someone who actually knows something, just because she has a few thirsty teenage boy followers.
@@denislaviliev4770 if women knew what’s best for them, they’d all date older men. Younger ones will use and abuse them while giving nothing in return. At least with an older man a lot will be given in return.
i don't think so to be honest. with a bigger age gap, you don't really have much that connects you. i'm 30...sure 19 year old girls are pretty, but it's rare that i would find it easy to relate to a 19 year old mentally. just as a 45 year old cant really relate to a 27 year old.
maybe as a sugar daddy, purely transactional. but i dont think that should be the goal. the only winner in this scenario is the older man.
@@denislaviliev4770 I hear your opinion, but disagree. Firstly all relationships are transactional. Secondly, connections are physical as well as emotional. It is actually biologically natural for older men to be attracted to younger women.
Regretting Motherhood is a really good book.
the crossover i didn't know i needed! very informative. can we get an analysis of older woman x younger man relationships?
Being a caregiver is a lot of hard work.
Brilliant topic to catch up about
I love Anna and I loved this!
wow wow wow! what a gem of an episode that flew by in 5 mins! The outro song came on and I didn't even know that it was a full-length track because I hardly ever make it this far. The flow, the transparency, the seamless back & forth between Shan and Anna - I thoroughly enjoyed this episode! So thankful for Anna's raw and shameless commentary on taboo themes. This is the womanhood that I love to see. I, too, am defining what success and contentment would look like in my life and I so needed this reassurance that marriage and children don't have to be the end all be all.
My 2 fav UA-camrs coming together OMG YES ❤
I really enjoy this content. I’m in my late twenties, but always seems to be attracted to older men. I have dated men around my age, and it’s just doesn’t go anywhere. But I know that dating older men, there are some cons with it. I love the talking points and the advices .
Men mature mentally later... Change where you hangout to see if you find better prospects.
You really need to look at the men you date being morally ok dating someone much younger. They are not people you want to be with. A man with morals would never.
"i love the talking points and advice"
thats what you should love from a father moreso. thats shouldnt be the first thing you say when describing someone youre dating. as if hes your therapist/father
Holy shit only 5 mins in and Anna is so forthcoming. Respect. Chuckled at the communitychannel throwback
Agreed she is divine
I looove looove loooove this crossover! You two are such honest, creative and admirable Woman ❤ love the both of you
It's crazy because most relationships in their 20s don't go anywhere and end up in divorce and cheating because they're, 'not mature enough yet.' Seems no matter what there are different sets of issues to deal with. You just get to pick your problems pretty much.
I respect you a lot Shan, because you come across mature. And you own up to your ways to deal with topics that are important to all of us! It just gives me great perspective and makes me think: What's my stance on this?
Loved this vid so muchhhhh, so helpful and interesting! Appreciate you so much 🙌
I've been looking for a female dating coach for men that would come recommended by women. I like Anna's views, so will now be checking out this channel! Really enjoyed Matthew Hussey, but he's advice to women focussed.
This just makes me appreciate my older guy even more. He’s 13 years older but I’m 30. He’s vibrant and very considerate and hasn’t really come across as controlling. Nothing he does reminds me of our age gap. We are also different race and religion which keeps us both learning. When we first started dating I’d ask him to let me pay and never expected him to pay but he was always generous without any physical pressure and always encouraging me in my career and holding me accountable to my goals and shearing his goals. It feels very leveled.
Nothing wrong with this. I’m with a younger woman right now and we live together. I’m 45 and she’s 44. I let her know how young and beautiful she is every day.
Such a great episode!! I normally date older man so I can Relate. Also the new intro and outro are Niceeeeee 🎉❤
My father is older than my mother only by 3 years, so that was my example as well. For me in my 20's I dated older but I didn't go older than 10 years. Oh wait! I dated someone 25 years older once. Now that I'm over 40 I date 10 older and 10 younger. In my 20's I made sure to stay very aware with who he was and why he liked me just because there are those older men that want younger women to manipulate and control them, or just to be that overly sexualized eye candy for him and his friends. I was aware of their money and if they led with it because they use it to control, so if they wanted me to do the stay at home gf, I said no thank you. I didn't want to put my self in a position of where I felt trapped or desperate. Also I realized that if I was having fun with my friends or if I'm just going through my young adult and 20's life issues. I would get comments like, "GROW UP, or ACT YOUR AGE, or even YOUR SUCH DRAMA QUEEN HERE COMES THE WATER WORKS"! I realized that I was grown, I was acting my age, and my feelings were valid and he was not a person that I needed to be with. Agreed if you are in your 20's don't date older than 10 years and if they say you're so mature for your age or if they say you're better than women that are older than you, WALK AWAY! Run if you have to. The manipulation has started.
Right now I'm dating someone 10 years younger and in the bedroom I let him lead, but during the day to day it can flip flop. I'm open to older men, but the older men who seem to have it together well enough want the barely legal s or the 20's. So if someone older than me wants to date it's the ones who are struggling in life and they see me as someone to help pay their bills. Because I'm plus size and over 40 they think that I should be grateful for the attention. It's crazy. I still want kids but a lot of men don't want kids or anymore kids. That's on either side. Which I'm like well why did you match me? Dang dude you wasted our precious time!
This is the best crossover ever ❤
Shan’s silence at 18:01 is everything.
As someone who’s always dated older men and women, I feel like I can learn something from them. That I can bring into a new relationship. It’s interesting when you bring them home because you really see the age difference between myself and my significant other.
I’m not here to criticize you but if you just wanted to learn from someone why not have them be your mentor rather than your life partner?
@@michaelajames99 I've always been around older men and women due to living in the countryside with my parents and grandparents. The youngest person in my family would be around 30 just to give perspective. I'm more comfortable around older people compared to someone who is younger. For context I'm 25, so my dating range is between 25-32. I tend to have a deeper connection with people in their early 30's compared to someone around my age. Hope this helps.
I loved the advice and I am also loving Shan's fit. ❤️
I appreciate your podcasts. You have very interesting conversations
Thanks for listening
Thank you for this conversation. I'm 28 and I'm currently seeing a 35yr old man. That's the biggest age gap I've ever had in my dating life.
That’s a normal gap I’d say. Especially if he’s well established in a career
Would love the flipped conversation on this... older woman, younger man age gap. ✌🏽
If we’re talking about sponsorships, I’m wondering if you’re aware of Hello Fresh’s labor rights violations like wage theft and dangerous workplace conditions. Fab Socialism has a documentary on her channel about it.
When i entered into a relationship with an older man i knew that i wa independent and could leave at any moment. Every moment I'm here, its because i want to be
Oooooh, I gotta listen to this one... I'm in an age gap relationship myself. Biggest gap I've ever had before this one is about 3 years. Same for my parents.
“Oh no he needs viagra”. Yes. At that age they do. They take it. They’re not telling you Anna.
So?
I dont shame taking it though. Ive dated a guy 3 years older who couldnt get it up. Almost married a guy 11yrs older who never had an issue 😂
Love it
Thanks :) I’ve just changed my dating profile to ‘30’ being a dealbreaker!
Well, I dated two older men just because I was lonely. I dated them only until I found someone else my age. One, I was in my early 20's and he was in his mid 50's. The other I was in my mid 20's and he was in his early 40's. I was not emotionally stable in my life. I've been hurt over and over again by different men. So I dated the older men because I needed someone to love me. One of the older guys (50 something years old) I dated lived across the street from me, which was convenient and I had a full boyfriend that was my age, but my boyfriend at time would treat me like crap (beat me with belts, call me out of my name, and also take my money. And I mean all my money.) So, I used to go to the older guys house that I was dating to get attention and infection. I didn't want to feel the pain. It was like putting on a Band-Aid for the moment. I don't regret dating older men. It did teach me about what I want to in life. Now, I'm married, 40 years old, and have three amazing children by my husband, which is 36. Been married for 12 years now. My husband is 4 years younger than me, which I never imagined ever dating someone younger than me, but hey we love each other. I like that my husband not are not far apart in age because we can relate to each other. Dating older men made me feel like they were my father instead of a partner. Think God I never had sex with any of the older men. Like the lady said in the video she said something about Viagra. I totally thought about that. I thought that they would have old gray balls. That's probably why I didn't have intercourse with them. I just found older men gross perverted to marry. That's in my opinion.
I believe I got to a point in my life where I had to work on myself. When I got about 26 27 I had started going to church. That's when I want to be married wanted to have children and won't leave better for me. It was like my biological clock was ticking and everybody around me on Facebook with having babies and getting married and I said what about me. I'm glad that certain things happen in my life because I wouldn't be where I am today without those experiences. I do believe that people should date in there age group no more than 5 years younger or five years older that's if you want your children to have the other parent in the future because if that person was to die your child is still in high school you know I don't think that would be a good thing. Yes people can die from cancer or hit by a car or something serious like that but you do want to be with somebody who's going to be around for a long run because if you are in the '30s the man is almost in his 60s 70s how is that a long-term friend. He or she would die before you even get to that stage in your life. Unless you don't mind remarrying again. Other person
I'm so so sorry you went through all of this. Thanks for sharing, I hope it helps someone avoid the pain you were put through
Dating a younger man is way worse, absolutely way worse. It’s a man’s nature, he’ll compare you to younger women etc.,,
Whoa. I hope you got help for this.
Glad to hear it turned out well for you.
Idk, worrying about being married & having kids at 26-27 vs worrying about self-love& growth 😕.
@@D.T_ and getting your education up so that you get your money up.
Well my husband is a month older than me…which makes our sun signs incompatible but it’s been going now for almost 12 years. I like being able to say “omg remember jello pudding pops?” And he knows exactly what I’m talking about. I find it weird to date someone that you didn’t grow up at all with the same things.
Omg I love Anna! Been consistently watching her videos for almost 10 years now. She’s always been an open book, but I’m still learning a lot about her in this podcast. Very engaging and interesting conversation!
TEXTS. ARE. EMAILS. YES ANNA!!!
Awee shan said VENEZUELA 🥺❤️
Wild take - so age gap differences are not so about the age but more explicitly to do with the power balance/dynamic that are probable to come with such relationships.
There are 23 year olds with the money experience and forethought of someone who is '40' and vice versa.
Power dynamics also exist beween near age relationships, rich and poor and so on. Thats why its the person themseves and their actions which matter, no matter the age
Thank you for saying this. The issue is far more sophisticated than how most are presenting it.
That 23 with “money and exp” is so tucking rare and you know that. That’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Vast majority of ppl in their 20s don’t know what they’re doing , full stop.
That sounds like a fundamentally unhealthy relationship. Competition? Yeah no that's unhealthy.
I'm surprised there aren't more comments here about the concept of never reaching out first.
Doing that will filter out a lot of self-respecting, reasonable men, who value their time/energy & want a more concrete indication (after the first few dates) of mutual interest than just getting positive responses to the man's initiatives.
Especially now that men are generally being told to read the "signs" more - isn't always needing to reach out a clear one?
The problem is that fairly successful older men (age 40-60) aren’t looking for younger women who are age 30-45 unless they are childless AND exceptional looking.
Let’s be honest, most men start to want kids later & women who are on the verge of mono-pause aren’t that appealing from a life point of view
Did she say that she’s seeing two men (50 & 60) at the same time? Lmao 🤣 y’all wilding out!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And a woman.
Trust, and one of the guys came through an affair. We’re just gonna move like she ain’t messy 😂
Age gap isn't the issue. Maturity is. The only reason culture ties disgust to this topic is because of moral projection. Will age gaps always be ideal because of maturity differences? No. But sometimes it's great, even large gaps.
everything she said about Ray being abusive and trying to manage all her actions happened to me with a man who was 1 year older than me so sometimes it's not the age gap.
Yea, happened to me with a guy 3 years older.
I think there is something to the idea that some of the women who are really successful in dating and worthy of emulating were able to find a suitable spouse relatively early in life, maybe their 20's, who are good wives... as opposed to women who dated huge number of men up into their 30's, 40's, etc.
But it can difficult for a decent potential spouse to find someone else who would be suitable.
I don't think it is immoral for 20-year-old to date older man. If he has good intentions, they aren't being sexually immoral, the dating is marriage-oriented, her father is on-board, parents and family agree to the marriage, neither are attached to someone else, are decent people, there aren't any other issues not named in my list that would prevent it, it can work out okay. I just don't know why a young person would want to be with someone who too old. But a 20-year-old-woman with a 30 or 35 year old man? I don't see it as a problem. The other way, it might work but would be more difficult. Men stay fertile longer and so it makes sense that an older single man who hadn't married yet and wants children would want a younger woman.
Lady on the left needs to learn to put on a skirt, pants, or something before filming a video.
Greetings from Germany 👋 I like and follow Anna since years. She is almost perfect. I'll be 60 next year.
In my "learning phase" my GFs were often quite older than me. Up to 20 years. Now I'm "giving back" 😊
Best wishes 😁
I’m really enjoying this. I have been there… dated a 36 year old when I was 25 and I was breadcrumbed in the end. Left him within 3 months. Could see him feeling emasculated in my presence having a better job. I felt like they were a sex addict as well. I later moved on to someone who wasn’t a fit for me either who was 32 and even more emotionally unstable and immature. Had a child with that one. I love my daughter, I just don’t love being involved with this person due to potential safety concerns.
My one question is why more people don’t become aware and actually work to heal themselves to become the best version of themselves and truly aligned with what they desire? I’m working towards it and I really want to do this for my daughter.
Emasculation has to do with his own perception of himself, nothing to do with you.
it works for some people, for me personally it sounds aweful
Shout out to everyone that used to watch communitychannel!!! ❤
I'm confused 🤔. She said don't date older men and she is currently dating older men? Maybe I heard it wrong 😕
Her point is that when you’re a young adult, say 20, you shouldn’t date someone way older and wealthier than you because the dynamic will probably not be great. But when everybody is 30s and up, the gap doesn’t really matter.
Yep, I also think it's still gross, I mean, Asian women look younger and that's the case with Anna, for those guys she looks like a 20 y/o and I don't know how she doesn't think something is off with that
Im waiting for the shorts to reshare on ig lmao
Everything she said applies to.10% of older men. Majority are not what she described lmao.
They always use straw man arguments to make their point.
They also use personal experience make their argument for the majority.
This idea that women will be better off with men at their level is not practical, because women want a provider and protector.
Men are not looking for their equal, because men can never see a woman as equal, because a man want to be in the position to provide and protect his woman.
What’s funny is that women like this say they want men that are their “equal”, but they will problem going 50/50 while in a relationship or be the primary bread winner.
It’s all about power for this modern western chick.
Why would they want to equal to their man when they expect him to pay most of the bills and protect them🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
100% agree with Anna. Giant age gaps when you’re younger. It turns into this kind of parental controlling feeling. I’ve said this same thing to people.
Shan I just LOVE your hair color🧡
My husband is 14 years older. IT just worked out that way. I'm 32 he's 46. Doesn't act, look or seem 46 tho. Age is just a number and it definitely just depends on the person not necessarily the age unless its a crazy age gap. I wasn't looking for that and neither was he. We lived in the same apartment building at the time and it was meant to be. Now we have a 2 year old son and a beautiful home ❤
14 isn’t a big deal at all.
That shade of purple on the tank top in the intro- super flattering color on you ❤️ suits your reddish and golden undertones in your hair
The world isn't one size fits all, and one or two experiences with a certain type of person doesn't make a person an expert on the entirety of the people of that demographic. Some individuals are relatively good and others bad. Not that age, race, etc. is the determining factor in the totality of that person's character.
That said, as a man, I find older women more attractive than younger, and the older I get, the more it grows that way. I'm not one to say never, so I don't have specific cut offs, as I never know who I may come across and we could fall in love, but in a perfect world she would be my age exactly or no more than 2 years apart either younger or older. I don't want a child, nor a teetie as a partner, so our lifestyles and outlooks have to mesh well. I want to have a few kids and grow old together. Age gaps make that harder, if not impossible.
Everyone has different life goals, though.
Interesting convo. Dating older man as a young woman can be satisfying. Dating men in my own age group - boring. They may not put in the energy and they want younger women who CAN take care of them when they get old. I always want to know who will take care of you when you get old, esp if men still want women younger than you will be. Tho Im not dating at this time, Im happier as an observer
Yeah but your still going to have to take care of an older man as he ages though! Lol 😆 You will take on the caregiver role and that sucks
@@prettylladythe younger one will suck the life out of you, without compensation…
I mean your kids should take care of you when you get older. My wife is 8yrs younger than me and I had him move in with us, he watches our kids at times so we can work or go on dates and he gets free housing, can be around his grandkids and almost always has someone around to help him if he needs it. I'm raising my son kids to value the family too, even if like all of us, we don't get along all the time, a little long-suffering can give huge benifits for everyone involved.
OMGGGGG! I never thought I’d see this happen!
I loved this podcast... but I have a friend who is 40, and her husband is 60, and they are in a really healthy relationship. I, on the contrary, have been in a power/ dynamic relationship. I was 32, and my partner was 36.. I think it came from his position at work and his upbringing..
Girl that’s anxious attachment still!
I always date older people. Both men and women and it's very significantly different in a good way. There's real benefits other than financial. The love is more sincere and it's given easily. You can actually talk and see eye to eye. They are more on point with what they want. They give you what they want to be given without hesitation. Some of them don't play about the person they're dating. They love to invest in you.
How toxic is it to never call or text first???
And when they disengage because they think you're not interested? What then?
Walk. If they like you it will make them want to talk to you and it will be natural. If it's forced, it's crap.
Women's empowerment isn't just a movement; it's a way of life. 💃💪 #EmpowermentJourney
Still need a man wilking to die for it. Yall wanna empower yourselves over the very men you want to be powerful based off attraction themselves. These days all yall do is bite the hand that feed you. Better hope men keep wanting to put up with it. Good luck 20 years from now. I see hand maids tale coming in 2050 if men keep being demonized strategically in society 🤔
I would love to know some of the books she has read that falls in anti motherhood because it is important as women to be aware of these experiences. How can we cope with being a mother, if I have no clue what to expect or look for or even how to correct myself…
What do yall think about a 27 yr age gap? Im 30, he’s 57. We’ve been together for a year now….
Just got out of abusive horrific situation with dude 15 years older than me. Never again
@6:50. No she got it wrong. You can be dominant in your work and be submissive with your man and still hold power. Submissive is choosing to let someone else lead you because you trust them to. you are not changing who you are or suppressing yourself, you are just living in what makes you feel most alive and comfortable. i dont think the lady understood Ana. I agree with Ana. I want to dominate my career not my home.
This. The other lady assumes the version of ourselves we wear in our career is our whole self, but there are many sides of a women. And many of those sides I wouldn’t want to share with the whole world, especially in a professional setting. If anything, I think it’s the opposite. I get to be my true vulnerable self with my husband. He gets to see all sides of me, the strength and softness.
Can you? Or has society brainwashed you into thinking that your job as a woman is to be submissive, so you don't feel comfortable expressing your full self with your partner? Let's also keep in mind that the most stereotypically "submissive" group of women, is also the one experiencing the highest rates of domestic violence and intimate partner homicide, so we need to be questioning why certain men are always demanding female submission.
"i want to dominate my career not my home" made me chuckle for a good 5 mins. The fact that I had to read those words strung together is insane lmaoo
That’s how it’s in Nigeria, not the rest of the world. Women are respectable and partners men.
A lot of women don't want to believe that especially with men, as the saying goes "you'll attract more bees with honey" because it makes them feel vulnerable, but I just don't understand why they would be in a relationship with someone they don't trust.
I really want the mug Anna's holding.
Cray-cray!!!!
1) Women and men think differently and are attracted to different things.
2) Dating older is OK, just don't let them pay for everything.
I LOVE intelligent, well-spoken women. Y'all are such role models for me and I loved your takes on this episode, so much food for thought.
As a man, listening to that was one of the most emotionally perplexing things ever.
Ive just come to the realization that many young women just dont care. There are many examples of age gap relationships going wrong and how negative they can be. Older women even tell them not to do it yet they still do. Its just something they want to do. The funny part is even some of those older women warning them have taken part in it themselves. So they didnt listen when they were younger but expect younger women to lol
If my girl forgets her skincare products, tough luck. I don’t share toiletries except toothpaste.
That only makes her want them more.
Can you tell me you grew up without a father without telling me you grew up without a father.