I love this guy. He is so right about the AA experience. I attended meeetings for three years. I became very confused, depressed and isolated. Kevin has the right approach. What you think, so you become.
@@johnkenny694 that’s a little harsh John! I’ve gone 10 years without touching a drop now and I’m completely at ease with it. I had made several attempts to stop before this though.
Ive just started watching your videos Kevin. Im now 52 and need to stop drinking. Completely. Forever. Moderation does not and has not worked. Love your stuff. I always get a great message. Thank you mate 👍Charles.
Can relate brother... I am 50 & have drank almost everyday for the last year...... separated from wife twice in the last 18 months..... quit last Dec for 3 days with zero side effects- now sadly I get the shakes- high anxiety 5-7 hours after not drinking.... scary how this poison influences you... wish the best to all struggling....
@@Mghol1968 Look into a low dose of the magic mushrooms (around a gram) every other day for the first few days. U may need to up it slightly on the second and third time, but don't exceed 2.5. This helps with those first terrible days. Good luck.
I am with you! Now that I am that age as well, I plan to put it down too. I did it with cigarettes twenty years ago, I can do it with this too. I do not consider my self an alcoholic but I do consider myself a problem drinker. If I have it , I will drink it.....if I don't have it I don't . I am the same with anything easy to eat or pop. I tend to over indulge. So I don't keep temptations around.
Another great video. I am a drinker and need to quit. I have tried AA and I could not wrap my mind around the 12 step program developed over 100 years a go. Your video series, which I have just discovered on UA-cam, has given me a more modern answer to the solution. The thing about AA that bothered me was they teach that you are "powerless" over alcohol... that was some thing I just could not believe. You are teaching me how it is the choices you make, the dreams you have, your family and much, much more that should give me the power to overcome and win this war. I have been doing so much better after subscribing to your channel. You have real answers, real solutions and real experience. AA drives it into your head that there is something wrong with you... you drive home the fact that the mind is the answer. Thank you so much for chronicling your journey through your sobriety. Really good teaching. Please keep the videos coming sir.
I think it's important to keep in mind the context of that 'powerless over alcohol' reference.... Also, if you were not powerless over alcohol, you wouldn't have had a problem with it. Whether you end up in a place where you feel that you do have power over it, good for you, however that does not change the fact that at some point in time, you were powerless over it, & that your life had become unmanageable as a result.... Anyway, best of luck with finding some sobriety in your life. It gets better =)
Thank you for the opinions! I was in AA several times but it didn’t convince me. I never had three years ever in the last 50 years. These videos are now working to change my mindset, I’ve know for years that drinking wasn’t healthy and robbed me of my creativity. I’m on the way because I’m on my own, I’m going to do this! 👍🙏
Thank you for the work you do! I have been alcohol free for almost two years and my life has completely changed for the better. I never liked using labels to define my relationship with alcohol, and I agree that mind influencing matter is the only way someone can release alcohol from their life. I still get cravings from time time; when I'm traveling, during the holidays, social events, etc. But I deal with each craving in the moment and choose my wellbeing over a beverage. Again, thank you for being here.
I really liked what you said about thinking yourself sober. I know I drink too much and I agree that my view on my favourite pastime has changed. it used to be fun but now it's rather depressing how much I drink. I quit smoking a year ago, cold turkey. For me all the quit smoking tricks and medication never worked. I would start smoking again within a few weeks or even days. the only thing that has worked was knowing I can't ever have a smoke again, ever!!! the change came once I saw cigarettes in a new light........pointless!! Now, in the last few months I have started seeing alcohol differently as well. I haven't changed my view purposely. it's just been happening on its on accord. I guess it's true what they say " everything has its season" thank you very much for your videos
After going to AA last night and reading part of their book I have come to the conclusion that I am not a real alcoholic. However, I have also come to the conclusion alcohol is not good for my health (caused me heart palpitations) so I stopped drinking 6 days ago and feel really great. I love your videos and like your approach! Thank you.
Exactly. I was most grateful for AA and that community but I am no longer cultish with it. Thanks as always Kevin. My mind indeed keeps me sober every single, solitary day.
This is an amazing wake up call. Thank you my brother. I’ve been playing the victim card for years. Thought first. Every thing else follows. I need to take responsibility for my life. I’m 38 years old and I put a bottle in my mouth like a toddler every day. Cross your fingers for me my friend.
I have tried AA twice now and felt so out of place and awkward... I stumbled across yr page whilst searching another authors prospective...very gr8ful to hs ve found you 😊
I've been sober for a year after being taken to hospital with hallucinations so scary I will not go back there..I'm now in control and enjoy each day ..didn't do aa as I did not want to...they dont have meetings now anyway due to coronavirus...so a year without any urge to drink at all ..no craving ..no pills apart from a multivitamin each day ...I'm happy and glad I experienced the horror as it s ared me from drinking
Just done a heavy weekend of drinking for St. Patrick’s and Im done. Last year I did a full year without a single drink. Life was fantastic, blew my sales targets out of the water at work. Was a better husband and father. Then I finally gave in to the pressure and had a drink at a bbq and I seem to have been going from one bad hangover to the next. People might not realize this I know you will Kevin, but Ireland is an incredibly difficult place to stay off drink. Irish people don’t want you in their company if you are not drinking. One guy at my work persecuted me constantly calling me names like ‘dry shite’ for the year I didn’t. I nearly punched his lights out one day. But now I don’t give a shit what anybody says. I’m done. For me for my health for my children for my wife. I’m done. And I will soon learn who my real friends are.
Thank you so much. We just poured a bottle of rum down the drain. Before I found this. I'm glad to hear somebody speak of dealing with it under their own power. It gives me a little hope. Thank yo u so much!
I attended AA a few times. found it so cliquey. I met some nice people but soon as I said I wasnt gonna do the 12 steps (it's just not for me) I was given cold shoulder and even told I'd fail , the woman who had "shared" even called across the room :" here Mary we have another one of them". which kinda hurt as I was very vulnerable that day and had dragged myself along. I can see where some come from, they feel AA have saved their lives and swear by it . I am of the opinion find what works for you. nice video.
AA states that you are powerless over alcohol if when you drink it and can't stop. You are also powerless deal your drinking with the same mind you had when you were drinking. I was skeptic and am also not religious but have completed step 2. The fundamental goal of AA is to diminish the ego and self centred thoughts and realise that happiness and contentment in life comes from within and through a more spiritual outlook on life, not materialistic things or shifting our consciousness with a drug. People get caught up with archaic language of AA but when you dig deeper it is actually about self empowerment. Having watched numerous of Kevin's videos I find they are informative and positively addictive to motivate my recovery as is attending AA meetings where I can connect with people dealing with the same problems. All I advise is consider AA with an open mind and only judge after you have attended and fully considered what it is really about.
"Being powerless over alcohol" is a figment of speech - the 12-step program does not claim to have all the answers - far from it "at every meeting day state we realize we know only a little." Remember, AA-12 step is not meant to be a substitution for addiction treatment program - AA-12 step is a support group only. Their program is suggested only - not rigorously demanded.
Key Point agreed, AA had given me some tools to combat my thought process, although AA is not my identity nor do I speak the code. Its another form of influence to healthy living. Get into new hobbies, loose weight, clean up the diet, do volunteer work, work out, nature... and an occasional AA meeting weekly is a good mix for me! Like Kevin said my life is 100 % better!
@@SuV33358 I had 14 years of sobriety, then drank for 2 years, I was swept from the grave... now 73 days sober. Your not really living when your drunk, the sober days... that's living. Read the Bible, get help from God, it's free... Do whatever it takes, but don't drink your life away.
I went to AA for a couple of years and never felt comfortable with it. The people were nice and sincere and the personal support was good but it never felt right to me, admitting that I was a helpless alcoholic and had no control over my drinking. That I had to hand it over to a higher power. I left and eventually started drinking again. I've now been sober for 45 days and know that it's mind over matter joining the Alcohol Experiment and reading a couple of well written books on addiction. I have also discovered this channel and your videos make sense to me, thank you!
Yet again Kevin another cracking video. I remember reading a book called 'Rational Recovery', and I was absolutely blown away by how the author discussed the "alcoholic", where the term came from, what it means and why it is steeped in error. By the time I had finished reading the book I was utterly convinced that the term "alcoholic" is not only a term coined by Alcoholics Anonymous, but that it has single handedly offered an often terminal excuse for drinkers to keep up their behavior, using the leverage of "disease" as a means to excuse. i.e You should be supported never to drink again, but you will slip up again because you have a disease - which is total and utter nonsense. What you spoke about in this video echoes my very thoughts on the matter, and it is so important that you are making a video on this topic. It must be discussed, as difficult as it might be for some to view. It's unpopular because it pulls the rug of illusion beneath certain people's feet. Alcohol abuse is all about illusion to begin with, which is why it is so ironic that the drinker moves from one illusion to another, jumping from the frying pan into the the fire. The sooner the alcohol abuser realizes that there is nothing in science to support a "disease" and that there is no such thing as a "real" alcoholic verses a problem drinker, the sooner one can face the real issues and embrace freedom from booze.
I read the book Rational Recovery and it really helped me too. I stayed sober for 4 years without going to one AA meeting even though I had gone in the past. AA always told me that I wasn't doing it right even though it was working. We are all different. What helps me may not help you.
I thought of your videos today when making a choice between my favorite beer and taking a walk in the cold weather, which was well near minus 10 c. After thinking before acting, I was able to find greater peace along a long trail through the wood. Thanks for saying again and again that mind over matter is a solution that works.
I've heard you say that we are all different. So true. I drank for 35 yrs and abused other drugs, because I did get progressively sicker. I knew what I was doing to myself. I got sober by going to treatment, the time away from friends and family and the lifestyle I was leading. I ended up in an AA meeting. I met a lot of good people there, it helped me get started on my sober journey , I don't currently attend meetings and I'm still alcohol free. I agree alcohol is not a disease. However I know through my own experience there was. Reason why I medicated myself my entire adult life til reached 48. I've Bremen clean for a year. And yes I feel the benefits., and yes it's all in the mind. However it's a little more than just not putting it in your mouth. And you get better. Which on the surface sounds great, but for most serious problem drinkers it's learned behavior for coping with life. You were able to stop putting it in your mouth. You got better. That's awsome. The meetings and fellowship especially at first can be very effective in helping someone adjust to living sober. In other words you are correct and so is AA and your both incorrect. Live the video. You do inspire people I think that's awsome! You inspire me. Please take this with an open mind. Peace and good luck to all.
AA did nothing for me but made me want a glass of wine when I left. It didn't seem healthy that I would have to sit there and confess i was a alcoholic because I believe that life and death is in the power of the tongue. You do have a community that supports you but I have a introvert personality so I wasn't very sociable anyways. Telling myself mentally every day that I hate alcohol made me start believing I really hate it. And it had more of a effect than AA did for me. I didn't drink everyday but I would drink a whole bottle to myself and finish other people drinks that was left around and cured my hangovers by drinking again in the morning so Idk if I was a problematic drinker or alcoholic. But your videos helps me a lot and you are a breathe of fresh air because you say the things that I need to hear.
LOL ! Call it what you want. But AA so far hasn't landed me in the pen, hospital, nut house and nearly dead like Alcohol. If you're not an alcoholic you wouldn't understand.
Thanks, Michael! I’m watching your videos every day now, and it’s been three days sober for me! Mind over matter! My record so far is three weeks sober, which I managed to do this past January. So I appreciate your teachings, and please keep them coming!
I am a problem drinker. I started drinking when my brother left home when I was 18. I used to listen to music and drink (on my own) and the habit has stuck right up to now. I need to stop . I drink mainly beer but will drink lots in one go.
Thanks for your video it is a breath of fresh air.. I spent 20 years in and out of AA trying to get sober I was ridiculed for not being honest or not wanting to be-leave in the AA program simply because in my heart I knew I needed empowerment and choice..
Naltrexone works really well to prevent drinking in the Sinclair method. 70% effective. Really addressed the psychological addition for me, no philosophy or religion just straight to the part of my brain that alcohol affects that makes me crave more once I start.
I agree with you about AA. I feel like it helps to confess your problem to others when you first quit, but after a while it becomes repetitive. There is a guy who goes to multiple meetings everyday in my city and he says the same shit everytime. He is against anything that doesn't stick to the steps and also criticizes those who don't attend regulary. I'm starting to believe he is using AA as a way to feel important and to have a social life when in reality he is being very negative and uses fear mongering.
Best thing that helps me since I got sober after that 1st 18-24hrs...Every time the thought of drinking creeps into my mind I immediately once I recognize I'm thinking of drinking I just tell myself: "No thanks, I don't drink." I repeat this until I loose the thought. I say it in my mind and out loud. As if I'm talking to someone else not TO myself. As if someone else offered the idea of drinking TO ME. Then I can reply as the person I WANT TO BE which is a sober NON drinker. I hope this helps someone as it helps me.... Good luck!
Kevin, I agree with what you say in this video, 100 percent!! Also, I've not had a drink in nearly one year (june) and I quit using the same mind over matter method that you did. And, this is despite the fact that I've dealt with enormous peer pressure, anxiety, and sleeplessness. But in the end, it was up to me to decide that I'd had enough, and I'm very glad to have found your channel on UA-cam, so please keep up the good work because it is inspiring. I will add that I was never able to drink on a daily basis and so I never did, instead, I was a weekend binge beer drinker who drank because of social anxiety, and other lame excuses.
Thank you for this.....I have always questioned What use AA was to people who have intense social anxiety.......talking in front of strangers makes me want to drink. I have been looking for something like this for years.....again my thanks.
Abigail Hornibrook. i never knew why everytime i left aa all i wanted to do was drink....i even relapsed after one meeting so i stopped going...your soo right
I think it's great to hear people's experiences but I think you have to be aware that it's also making you feel like you are a victim which you can easily play into
Great vid, Kevin. I tried AA/12 step program/rehabs! They did not work, because I kept waiting for that"Higher Power" to take away that craving. then 35 days ago I said enough. I have not had a drink since and every day I keep getting stronger!
+Randall Johnson I worked the steps until I got fed up with it. The problem with AA is treats alcoloholism as a moral weakness that your higher power will deliver you from drinking!
@@johnkoster8537 Same for me..I realised over many years in and out of AA it had to be an internal decision without dependence on anything except my own decision..if I'm bored I will sometimes go to AA or going through a difficult time for some extra support but I don't buy into the higher power and powerless stuff and having to open all your past life up to a sponsor who is not qualified and where there is no safeguarding in place..so yes find your own way with a mix and match or whatever works for you..and let others be free to make the same choices 😊
Another great video man, I always find they help me out quite a bit. I'm sober now for over five months, if anyone asks me now. Why did you quit drinking, I tell them straight out I'm an alcoholic. I know that I am after my last couple of relapses, cause back months ago. Even up to last three years, that's when my drinking, got out of control and. I denied the fact that, I was getting dependent on alcohol. I'd say to myself, naw I'm not one of them. I can stop anytime. Which in the past, I'd go by two three days. Without drinking and them. Days, me doing that it was a fecking nightmare. The withdrawals made me irritable, angry Id crack up over nothing. When I told my Doctor this. She said not only is that dangerous, you stopping all of a sudden. Then drinking again, you could have fitted, or even died over it. That's when I knew, I had a problem and it started to get into a vicious circle. If I carried on the way I did, I may not be here now. Cause that's how much damage this shit. Was doing to me, family and friends were saying. We're very worried about you, we're afraid you. Could be fond dead in you're flat, I went into severe d tees last time I got off this poison. What keeps me off it are few things, first admitting to yourself. You're an alcoholic, is the first step to recovery, second thing. Starting to get your life and health back again. Being more independent, looking to fill you're life out. I'm. Now working in a course it's like a workshop, which is run by The Mental Health team, getting people like myself back into society. Interacting with work and people again, it's scary at first. Doing it but it's well worth doing, and I am benefiting from it and. The people in it are, all on the same boat. Where no one will pass any judgement on you, I love how my life is slowly starting to feel good again and. Not wasting it sitting in my place with the curtains closed, fuck that I don't want to be. Going back to that horrible lonely dark path and way of living, just existing. Like that ever again. That's my main reason keeping off this piss sorry went off track for a minute lol, when you know youre an alcoholic. Knowing what to expect, by relapsing is a good reminder to keep you off it and looking at any old photos. Seeing how cruel you looked when on it, is a big eye opener. There is no magic cure guys, all we can do is our best and. No one can't fault us for doing that, God bless, this is a disease and. Its one that we can beat, long as we have faith in ourselves, willpower or medication to help I'm doing both. Whatever helps me, nit complaining about it, we can do this and. Live a good decent life without. This toxic slush.
I have to admit that I'm now in some trouble with booze. My short story... Grew up in eastern Canada drinking at 15. By 17 able to drink a lot. Managed to live an amazing life, always able to not get problematic with it. Never drank more than a couple times a week, almost never two days or nights in a row. Here's my problem. I've got the drink all mixed up with playing music. I'm truly one of those musicians who totally connects with his muse when drinking, and I play really well. But after 30 years of this I suffer hard hangovers and depression. I've become extremely antisocial. I can't stand to play or hear music or see people unless I'm drinking. As a matter of fact I find almost no joy in life. And I'm very aware of how great my life is, I'm very grateful about it. I just feel that without the drinks I'm not in the game at all, no real interest in anything. I'm also a very nice drinker. I get funny, talkative, playful, almost never angry or depressed, very creative. I've quit a few times in the last couple years but I always go back because I don't want to do anything without it. No magic in anything. It's a big part of the thing that makes me awesome. Now I'm fucked! I might have to just become a hermit in order to quit. Thx for the vids. Thx for listening.
I agree with you....and I never really thought about it but the addiction to the 'lifestyle' is harder to break than the physical addiction to alcohol. One of my favorite sayings is ' no progress without change' thanks for the videos they're very helpful.
one of the things i picked up from AA guys was that you don't have to listen to everything, just listen to what makes sense to you and chuck the rest so there is no reason why one couldn't collect as much useful advice from any or all approaches like AA, SMART or Kevin's and then come up with the system that works for them. that said i still haven't found a system that works for me but i'm working on it ;-) thanks Kevin, very useful advice!
great video, i watched your first few and they were uninspiring. this one is all inspiring! what a great thing it is to share your own wisdom. a big thank you for you. well done. 👍
there nothing wrong with AA it's a tool to use when your first getting sober . I found the horror stories a strong reminder of what could happen if you don't watch yourself .. I have been in AA many times I've r the past 6 years but now haven't been in 4 months still sober . I read the AA big book I've read it 5 times 600 pages it really helps me and it feel like the book is my story ... I've relapsed after 1 year sober 3 times then 1.5 years now I'm 6 months ... every time I drink I do horrible things DUI break things start fights with people .. everytime I relapse I wake up in the jail or siko ward no joke ... I love ur videos .. AA is not for everyone but it has helped me also I have things on my wall in my room I read everyday why I stay sober ?? cause I have no life or future drunk ... I've teed and tryed a 100 times to control my drinking .. it's over so get used to it a sober life is hard at times but I love waking up in my bed and not in jail or a field with no shirt no keys and broke spending all my rent money ..
Thanks bro it was not easy but now I rarly think of booze I know what will happen and I'll never be able to control it ever so I let it go . I was tired of waking up in jail and losing my licance for 10 years yes 10 years from 4 drunk driving charges . Now I can drive and not worry abut getting In trouble it's a real treat .
The bad thing is I'm always worryed I'm going to relapse even though I never think of drinking or that I can control it now that I got some time . It haunts me because when I did relapse it's was SO terrible I have ptsd from it . Drunk driving breaking things make a ass of my self in my complex . Have you had this problem ? Any advice wukd be great or any good books about alchilocizm
Calvin canada thank you for that. I could not " think myself sober" I needed people who were sober and happy to help me. In AA I learned how to live on life's terms and clean up the mess I had made of my life!
Great response to the email, I think the way you are dealing with removing Alcohol from your life is fantastic example that works. Thanks for all your video's they really make a difference!
Great Video as they all are.. I tried AA and it is the WORST thing I ever tried to quit!! I have been watching your videos for the last 8 months since I finally quit.. and mind over matter is the way!! Great advice Kevin!!
After many years around 12 step programmes/Buddhist meditation, couple of rehabs thrown in, 7 years of sobriety and other periods of time, I've found what works for me..I can take points from these videos which are very helpful, a strong internal decision, looking to the future etc, AA if I want a bit of company if feeling isolated (I live alone and work alone as an artist), a daily mindfulness meditation practice based on some Buddhist principles, some discipline around work, getting extra help around difficult circumstances with regards to my private life etc etc..and allowing others the same freedom whether they be AA, Buddhist, Christian, atheists or whatever..when in an AA meeting I don't have to agree with much of what people share or the way the programme is run, but I can sit and use it as an ideal opportunity to watch the movement of my mind (meditation practice) judging and forming opinions which it does anyway in regards to other matters in life..I can keep my own counsel and develop the attitude of kindness, friendliness and acceptance to everyone I can who are present there..not necessarily agreeing internally but that's a matter for me not them..if I do share I don't need to ramble or cause controversy I can use a couple of sentences as to what I found helpful and where I can identify to offer encouragement and gratitude to the person.. and I need to keep in mind an attitude of gratitude for the meeting and persons being there and making the effort to provide a place of refuge whether it be Kevin and these videos, AA, Buddhist meditation groups regardless of tradition and the monasteries where I have had the opportunity to practice and been offered teachings on 10 day residential retreats or whatever..live and let live, treat others as you'd like to be treated, find what works for you and allow others the same freedom to explore and be on their own path, and maintain a degree of humility..all leading to a much more peaceful existence and life path..IMHO of course 😊
Everyone needs a label. It’s human nature. The way it was explained to me by my quit drinking guru is that Alcoholics are physically addicted to alcohol. They cannot stop drinking without medical assistance. To do so is risking their life. If they stop, they are liable to have seizures, DT’s, heart attacks - you name it. The rest of us are really problem drinkers to a greater or lesser extent. We are not physically addicted, we are psychologically addicted. There is a huge difference. We can quit any time we like, most of us just don’t want to quit enough.
I went thru a bad time in my life, cancer, radiation and chemo. I lived on Vodka, the 1.75 Liter bottles, went thru one very two days.Bad very bad, shakes, had to drink my coffee thru a straw as I could not hold the cup steady, after coffee I had to have my morning fix, Vodka and ginger ale at 8am. So I quit. It took me a few days to keep food down, crazy dreams and I heard voices at night that were right outside my door. That was the other side of life and I'm never going back there. Now my grandfather was an alcoholic as well as my dad so is this hereditary?
Great discussion. Our minds create our reality so indeed the mind is the most powerful factor in quitting any bad habit. I completely agree that we have to change our thinking in order to successfully quit drinking for the rest of our lives. Trying to change our behavior or modifying the habit itself is simply not enough as such approaches rely on willpower which eventually fades.
You're somewhat right. What you forget is that most people (myself included) if they want to kick this kind of a problem need a community to help hold them accountable. Wether that is AA or something else, is really up to the individual. There is something to be said about mind over matter. It definitely works, but different people with different situations, are not always able to take that step. Try as they can, you don't know the other people that are around that person to influence them.
I don't think I'm alcoholic but I am thinking of quiting drinking so I've been watching these videos. There's something about this guy, he's awesome, he seems so wise, I like watching him, makes me feel comforted.
Great lecture, I have been in rehab twice 1 x 12 weeks and 1 x 4 weeks most recently last Sept 2016. Both had the 12 steps and meetings in the structure. I was sober for nearly 4 months and then relapsed because I was (and may be still am, not convinced I am an alcoholic!!) today is my second day sober. I am writing a plan and totally agree with the mind over matter approach. I just have to be more pragmatic and consistent which is my failing. I agree with the theory of surrounding yourself with negative sometimes euphoric stories about the past and drinking. There are some points/parts of AA, which I also agree with and see how they can work but it is not a 100% guarantee. I will keep watching and enjoy your approach. Thanks it will help.
A big thank you to you Kevin, I think you are right and it is a case of mind over matter for most of us “problem drinkers”. Some of us like and need a bit of scaffolding, which I’m led to believe AA provides: I personally hate the thought of of being the helpless victim of a disease over which I have limited control, but I understand how others may be comforted by this idea. It’s paths up the mountain. The end result is the same for both classes of drinker; to find yourself at the top of the mountain having achieved the goal of abandoning drink completely. Best of luck to everyone on a path, which ever one you’ve chosen, up the mountain.
I agree with you and thank you for emphasizing the power of the mind vs. being helpless. Your books and videos help so much. I just clicked with you from the beginning. Thank you Kevin!
You spoke about it in another video but my problem for 15 years is I'd convince myself I could drink in moderation. I was fighting a losing battle meaning I was a nightly drinker...back to just weekends...back to every other day...once per week, then nightly again, etc. Well thanks to your videos no alcohol in a week. No alcohol for life!
I think your right about everything you just said me and my son have been going to AA meeting for the last few months I'm going to cut it down to once a week and find some self improvement classes better and wean off of AA meetings it kinda makes me feel depressed to hear everyone's sad story's over and over again I want me and my son to move on and be strong and motivated for our new life not stuck in the alcohol past.
IV tried AA a few times it's not for me I'm no Bill Wilson It wore me down listening all doom and gloom same stories every meeting I have even been to meetings after being sober 9wk 3 days omg I went buy 4 cans on way home so now I keep away I don't want my alcoholism turn into revoverism it does help some so don't let me put anyone off for trying I started drinking in my early 40s couldn't tell you how it got to every night it was fun at first this was 10yr ago after 4 yrs of drinking every night I got clean but I was just coming in to my 15 month dry then those 5 dreaded words one drink won't hurt me by God it did I been struggling since but I chose mind over matter IV been sober since 3rd of January 2019 and I feel well so well good luck to anyone who is struggling you can do it xxx
I can't stop. I'm on this daily beer function it feels just about automatic. It's 2AM and I'm still drinking beer. Work tomorrow and booze at lunch. Same shit different day.
My mental health is so bad now . Also with thinking and self help . But it honestly has never been able to stop me drinking ... what ever works for you xx
Hmm this video (among others) actually helped me realize that I'm not an alcoholic, just an addict in general. I just can't stand being sober, and alcohol is the easiest thing to get (thanks western society.)
I was thinking of using marijuana to help me ease off, I've tried many times to quit including AA. I think you are 100% on target here, it's only me controlling my mind and my actions. Thanks for this video and the others, I feel they are helping me.
I inhabited the "halls" for a few years. I saw what you describe so well. AA's failure rate after 5 yrs. is about 92%--their number. I heard that from "recovering alcoholics". 90% failure rate is common for Minnesota Method which is what they employ. Bonus, the majority of those who do quit bail out of the halls so it is very hard to get a sponsor.
Great video. I stopped drinking for years now and get asked at AA meetings by mostly newcomers, "How'ed you quit?", as if I had the answer. My answer is, "Just like you." Then that starts a conversation on what I call, "Between the ears" and go on to explain what worked for me (same as you described). AA, NA and the rest are support while you are "re-thinking". I'm 70 years old and know a thing or two more about my way of thinking. First, i want to mention that the classification "alcoholic" is an old label that carries a lot of negative views. We are ADDICT'S !! WE ARE THE CURE!! Get out the same way you got addicted. The desire comes from the brain. The decision comes from the brain. Going to the store to buy what you are addicted to comes from the brain. Now the question for folks that that have accepted responsibility for our addiction, what can can I do to help others understand this solution? "I still get me ankles wet when I walk on water" Chuck Greenwell
Just stumbled across this video and found it very interesting. I must have needed to hear what you have said Kevin otherwise why did I search for something AA related. I have been sober for nearly 27 months and initially attended AA meetings. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days. But I have never accepted the programme for various reasons. I totally agree with mind over matter and your comments about replacing one addiction with another (going to endless meetings etc). There are aspects of AA that I like, but feel uncomfortable in meetings because people know I only go from time to time. I don't approve of sponsorship because of the bullying and control aspect - I could go on and on with this....
i wish there was a program just for guys like you and this chap. Free Group therapy for just problem drinkers. I heard there are meetings for agnostics called like "beyond belief" they aren't fans of the steps and most of the people I hear aren't into the spiritual side of the program, maybe try one of those?
As a young man that is a problem drinker i really do want to cut down and/or stop drinking. I drink because i get depressed a lot and i have noticed that drinking makes me more depressed.
That's exactly what I think. I'm only one week in but I just don't want it any more and have zero desire for putting this unhealthy liver destroying, family destroying liquid in my body.
I agree 100% on mind over matter wether it's a mental or phsical addiction someone deals with. It's always been a mental addiction for me, not a physical one, yet it's a scratch i still need to itch on a regular basis because i don't see anything to replace it with out there? Going cycling, to the cinema etc is fine, but just becomes tedious after a while. I will still be stuck in dead end jobs until the day i retire, without or without alcohol. My behaviour can be foolish when i'm drunk, and that along with the cost is what bothers me. But at 45, it feels like the horse has already bolted for me.
Try as I might I could not completely control my thoughts, there was a percentage of them that were stronger than my intentions BUT I can control my actions and as I fed positive actions into my subconscience it started to emit positive thinking. Move a muscle, change a thought.
A lot of alcoholism has to do with spiritual warfare.. if you have acquired any enemies in your life, they will start screaming and scheming whenever you try to actually start living. They make me feel like it's hopeless for me to try and that I could never defeat them (whatever that would mean), but two things are certain: I don't stand a chance if don't quit alcohol (I'll also never know where I stand), and also there's nobody who can force me to take a drink of alcohol- not even my worst enemy. So I guess you can say I "GAVE UP" due to severe mistakes and overwhelming state of hopelessness- this is why I believe most people start drinking in an 'alcoholic' (lost hope) manner. But now I'm back to take another shot.. that's all I can do. I'm not even sure if what I will see and find will be good news and I may need to retract back into alcohol and cigarettes (instead of suicide) if my soul is still enslaved. But I'm going to give it an honest try.
Are you a real alcohol i.e. are you a member of AA? According to NA I am not a real addict. Several doctors would disagree completely. Who the hell wants to be a real alcoholic or addict and uses the term like a badge of honour? Smh... Crossfit beats sitting in meetings drinking rancid coffee any day lol
It only took two weeks for the staff at the tavern me and my friends frequent to automatically bring me a non alcoholic beverage of soda water snd lime. My friends have become accustomed to my new found behaviour. Peer pressure has died awsy and I'm hoping they will follow my example. Find your own fortitude and quit . Period
I see your point man. The real problem its the lifestyle that people get into, and I can tell from my experience that I really can't imagine waking every day and just simply don'd drink. I'm not an alcoholic since I don't get any physical shit when I dont' drink, and I even think that you need almost to try it in order to become a real alcoholic. But still, I know I have a problem with alcohol because I really don't want to live whithout it.
My ex is sober nearly 2 years and we remained friends when he returned to Ireland from Australia for treatment. However, our friendship as dwindled as I see him as a completely different person and before seeing this video I said to him that he seems to have replaced one addiction with another. He is at AA meetings at least 5 times a week, he is at after care meetings once a week, he now works at the treatment centre he went to which is a catholic one and he was not religious. He is no longer close to his family and does not socialise with anyone outside of AA. his whole life has become almost an obsession over this ‘new’ life. I find it very very sad.
I think there's more to it then just stopping drinking..Esp if you have a troubled past , takes years of therapy and CBT etc.Stopping drinking is the easy part..Working on yourself and your behaviour is another thing otherwise you end up a dry drunk.. Working the steps etc is working on yourself..
I find all your videos very helpful. This one in particular really has pushed me more in the right direction to a clearer mindset and better discipline. Thank you.
AA is a parasitic group. People go to hear someone else's story, in the hopes that they can feel, "Wow! At least I'm not as fucked up as that person."...Look, I don't know why people count their days of sobriety. I really don't get it. The best way is to quit and move on. Yeah, easy to say, I know, but alcohol is a relationship to something you love. Now, substitute alcohol into the role of the member of an abusive relationship. Do you count the days you've been broken up with your ex? Do you go to meetings to talk about how long you've been without your ex? Of course not. Counting the days means that you have not let go. Think about it. Let gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I don't know why I expected for this to feel like a united front in my own personal struggle. Clearly, UA-cam, the internet and all of it's users are as tangled up in their own lives as I must be. I posted a lengthy comment about this video asking multiple questions and didn't get a single response, on multiple videos. Clearly I am looking in the wrong place for answers. The inevitable truth is not a single person out there knows my individual struggle, just as no one else fully understands yours. Meetings may work for the sense of solidarity but ultimately it is an individual struggle. I had hoped for more from these motivational talks but it is evident that these videos are Kevin's way of dealing with his own affliction. I commend him and anyone on their ongoing efforts to conquer their vices but would urge you to consider the merit and evidence of a UA-cam video before relying on it's advice. I am quite disappointed in all honesty. Obviously I was hoping for something that I just didn't get. If you need to talk about your vices then UA-cam is not the outlet or forum for you, as I have discovered.
Makes me realize I've depended on alcohol to deal with stress in the past. I by no means am an alcoholic...but I definitely could be a problem drinker. If I'm going to a night event that might be be nerve wracking or even if I want to hangout with friends, I'll have a drink. I've also hidden my drinking from my loved ones. Sure, I can go a few weeks without it, but I should really cut liquor out of my life because I never have the same impulses and issues drinking wine. My mums brother is an alcoholic and I need to stop using it have fun on Fridays. I have so many passions and interests, I should be able to limit my consumption to a few glasses once a month until it becomes a big part of my life.
No such thing as an alcoholic. Drinking is either causing u problems in your life..Or not..Regardless of how many days and how many drinks you drink..Its taken me 25 years too realise this myself..As I binge drink regularly..
Ima sucker for the dry ale. But i got sick again today and i dont feel good at all. As i shouldnt. I wanted to say these videos really help. Even though im still struggling with letting it go. You are a really cool dude. Kevin Ohara.
I certainly appreciate the knowledge, the unfortunate way you learned, but I am dealing with it and I can’t actually picture myself using the “mind over matter” principle because I simply can’t imagine life without it at this point. I appreciate any guidance or counsel.
Join Kevin as he walks you through his process of stopping the flow of alcohol and unplugging from the habit: www.habitsv2.com
I love this guy. He is so right about the AA experience. I attended meeetings for three years. I became very confused, depressed and isolated. Kevin has the right approach. What you think, so you become.
35 days sober now after 30 years of excess, largely down to the articulated common sense approach of this man.
Hows sobriety going?
There is a huge difference between being "dry" and not drinking and being "sober".
@@TheHeartMystic111 Dry is not Sober!! Dry drunks are full of shit!! and mentally boring.
@@TheHeartMystic111 hello Sherri, what do you mean, dont understand the dry drunk and sober?
@@johnkenny694 that’s a little harsh John! I’ve gone 10 years without touching a drop now and I’m completely at ease with it. I had made several attempts to stop before this though.
30 days sober... you're videos are educational and inspiring. Thanks
Perfectly said from begging to end. You are a God sent
Ive just started watching your videos Kevin. Im now 52 and need to stop drinking. Completely. Forever. Moderation does not and has not worked. Love your stuff. I always get a great message. Thank you mate 👍Charles.
How's that going?
Try NALTREXONE it works!! I started taking it 60 days ago and have not had a drink since, and i was drinking hard every night
Can relate brother... I am 50 & have drank almost everyday for the last year...... separated from wife twice in the last 18 months..... quit last Dec for 3 days with zero side effects- now sadly I get the shakes- high anxiety 5-7 hours after not drinking.... scary how this poison influences you... wish the best to all struggling....
@@Mghol1968 Look into a low dose of the magic mushrooms (around a gram) every other day for the first few days. U may need to up it slightly on the second and third time, but don't exceed 2.5. This helps with those first terrible days. Good luck.
I am with you! Now that I am that age as well, I plan to put it down too. I did it with cigarettes twenty years ago, I can do it with this too. I do not consider my self an alcoholic but I do consider myself a problem drinker. If I have it , I will drink it.....if I don't have it I don't . I am the same with anything easy to eat or pop. I tend to over indulge. So I don't keep temptations around.
Another great video. I am a drinker and need to quit. I have tried AA and I could not wrap my mind around the 12 step program developed over 100 years a go. Your video series, which I have just discovered on UA-cam, has given me a more modern answer to the solution. The thing about AA that bothered me was they teach that you are "powerless" over alcohol... that was some thing I just could not believe. You are teaching me how it is the choices you make, the dreams you have, your family and much, much more that should give me the power to overcome and win this war. I have been doing so much better after subscribing to your channel. You have real answers, real solutions and real experience. AA drives it into your head that there is something wrong with you... you drive home the fact that the mind is the answer. Thank you so much for chronicling your journey through your sobriety. Really good teaching. Please keep the videos coming sir.
Glad you're finding help, Jonny
I think it's important to keep in mind the context of that 'powerless over alcohol' reference....
Also, if you were not powerless over alcohol, you wouldn't have had a problem with it. Whether you end up in a place where you feel that you do have power over it, good for you, however that does not change the fact that at some point in time, you were powerless over it, & that your life had become unmanageable as a result....
Anyway, best of luck with finding some sobriety in your life. It gets better =)
Jonny Cat
Dangerous Dingo then ic u were powerless how the fuck you quit lol!!°¿¿¿
Jonny Cat did you quit?
Thank you for the opinions! I was in AA several times but it didn’t convince me. I never had three years ever in the last 50 years. These videos are now working to change my mindset, I’ve know for years that drinking wasn’t healthy and robbed me of my creativity. I’m on the way because I’m on my own, I’m going to do this! 👍🙏
Thank you for the work you do! I have been alcohol free for almost two years and my life has completely changed for the better. I never liked using labels to define my relationship with alcohol, and I agree that mind influencing matter is the only way someone can release alcohol from their life. I still get cravings from time time; when I'm traveling, during the holidays, social events, etc. But I deal with each craving in the moment and choose my wellbeing over a beverage. Again, thank you for being here.
Mona M How did u get out? Free?
This is so true. I've been AF (Alcohol Free) for almost 3 years. Mind over matter was the way for me as well. Keep up the great work.
I really liked what you said about thinking yourself sober. I know I drink too much and I agree that my view on my favourite pastime has changed. it used to be fun but now it's rather depressing how much I drink. I quit smoking a year ago, cold turkey. For me all the quit smoking tricks and medication never worked. I would start smoking again within a few weeks or even days. the only thing that has worked was knowing I can't ever have a smoke again, ever!!! the change came once I saw cigarettes in a new light........pointless!! Now, in the last few months I have started seeing alcohol differently as well. I haven't changed my view purposely. it's just been happening on its on accord. I guess it's true what they say " everything has its season" thank you very much for your videos
After going to AA last night and reading part of their book I have come to the conclusion that I am not a real alcoholic. However, I have also come to the conclusion alcohol is not good for my health (caused me heart palpitations) so I stopped drinking 6 days ago and feel really great. I love your videos and like your approach! Thank you.
Well the real question to if you have AUD is did alcohol create issues or physiological issues like obsessions
Exactly. I was most grateful for AA and that community but I am no longer cultish with it. Thanks as always Kevin. My mind indeed keeps me sober every single, solitary day.
Interesting, but I prefer to stay in the fellowship of AA.
This is an amazing wake up call. Thank you my brother. I’ve been playing the victim card for years. Thought first. Every thing else follows. I need to take responsibility for my life. I’m 38 years old and I put a bottle in my mouth like a toddler every day. Cross your fingers for me my friend.
I have tried AA twice now and felt so out of place and awkward... I stumbled across yr page whilst searching another authors prospective...very gr8ful to hs ve found you 😊
I've been sober for a year after being taken to hospital with hallucinations so scary I will not go back there..I'm now in control and enjoy each day ..didn't do aa as I did not want to...they dont have meetings now anyway due to coronavirus...so a year without any urge to drink at all ..no craving ..no pills apart from a multivitamin each day ...I'm happy and glad I experienced the horror as it s ared me from drinking
Just done a heavy weekend of drinking for St. Patrick’s and Im done. Last year I did a full year without a single drink. Life was fantastic, blew my sales targets out of the water at work. Was a better husband and father. Then I finally gave in to the pressure and had a drink at a bbq and I seem to have been going from one bad hangover to the next. People might not realize this I know you will Kevin, but Ireland is an incredibly difficult place to stay off drink. Irish people don’t want you in their company if you are not drinking. One guy at my work persecuted me constantly calling me names like ‘dry shite’ for the year I didn’t. I nearly punched his lights out one day. But now I don’t give a shit what anybody says. I’m done. For me for my health for my children for my wife. I’m done. And I will soon learn who my real friends are.
Thank you so much. We just poured a bottle of rum down the drain. Before I found this. I'm glad to hear somebody speak of dealing with it under their own power. It gives me a little hope. Thank yo u so much!
I attended AA a few times. found it so cliquey. I met some nice people but soon as I said I wasnt gonna do the 12 steps (it's just not for me) I was given cold shoulder and even told I'd fail , the woman who had "shared" even called across the room :" here Mary we have another one of them". which kinda hurt as I was very vulnerable that day and had dragged myself along. I can see where some come from, they feel AA have saved their lives and swear by it . I am of the opinion find what works for you. nice video.
Gut health, nutrition and exercise and meditation. STRATEGY
AA states that you are powerless over alcohol if when you drink it and can't stop. You are also powerless deal your drinking with the same mind you had when you were drinking. I was skeptic and am also not religious but have completed step 2. The fundamental goal of AA is to diminish the ego and self centred thoughts and realise that happiness and contentment in life comes from within and through a more spiritual outlook on life, not materialistic things or shifting our consciousness with a drug. People get caught up with archaic language of AA but when you dig deeper it is actually about self empowerment. Having watched numerous of Kevin's videos I find they are informative and positively addictive to motivate my recovery as is attending AA meetings where I can connect with people dealing with the same problems. All I advise is consider AA with an open mind and only judge after you have attended and fully considered what it is really about.
"Being powerless over alcohol" is a figment of speech - the 12-step program does not claim to have all the answers - far from it "at every meeting day state we realize we know only a little."
Remember, AA-12 step is not meant to be a substitution for addiction treatment program - AA-12 step is a support group only.
Their program is suggested only - not rigorously demanded.
Key Point agreed, AA had given me some tools to combat my thought process, although AA is not my identity nor do I speak the code. Its another form of influence to healthy living. Get into new hobbies, loose weight, clean up the diet, do volunteer work, work out, nature... and an occasional AA meeting weekly is a good mix for me! Like Kevin said my life is 100 % better!
A person who drinks alcohol every day every week is Running away from the hurt it life .
I'm doing it.
Me too.....after 15 months sober😖
@@SuV33358 I had 14 years of sobriety, then drank for 2 years, I was swept from the grave... now 73 days sober. Your not really living when your drunk, the sober days... that's living. Read the Bible, get help from God, it's free... Do whatever it takes, but don't drink your life away.
17 years sober. Everyday is one day at a time. I relied on AA for 6 months, the support was great. After 6 months I turned to my connection to God.
I went to AA for a couple of years and never felt comfortable with it. The people were nice and sincere and the personal support was good but it never felt right to me, admitting that I was a helpless alcoholic and had no control over my drinking. That I had to hand it over to a higher power. I left and eventually started drinking again. I've now been sober for 45 days and know that it's mind over matter joining the Alcohol Experiment and reading a couple of well written books on addiction. I have also discovered this channel and your videos make sense to me, thank you!
Yet again Kevin another cracking video. I remember reading a book called 'Rational Recovery', and I was absolutely blown away by how the author discussed the "alcoholic", where the term came from, what it means and why it is steeped in error.
By the time I had finished reading the book I was utterly convinced that the term "alcoholic" is not only a term coined by Alcoholics Anonymous, but that it has single handedly offered an often terminal excuse for drinkers to keep up their behavior, using the leverage of "disease" as a means to excuse. i.e You should be supported never to drink again, but you will slip up again because you have a disease - which is total and utter nonsense.
What you spoke about in this video echoes my very thoughts on the matter, and it is so important that you are making a video on this topic. It must be discussed, as difficult as it might be for some to view. It's unpopular because it pulls the rug of illusion beneath certain people's feet. Alcohol abuse is all about illusion to begin with, which is why it is so ironic that the drinker moves from one illusion to another, jumping from the frying pan into the the fire.
The sooner the alcohol abuser realizes that there is nothing in science to support a "disease" and that there is no such thing as a "real" alcoholic verses a problem drinker, the sooner one can face the real issues and embrace freedom from booze.
I read the book Rational Recovery and it really helped me too. I stayed sober for 4 years without going to one AA meeting even though I had gone in the past. AA always told me that I wasn't doing it right even though it was working. We are all different. What helps me may not help you.
I thought of your videos today when making a choice between my favorite beer and taking a walk in the cold weather, which was well near minus 10 c. After thinking before acting, I was able to find greater peace along a long trail through the wood. Thanks for saying again and again that mind over matter is a solution that works.
I've heard you say that we are all different. So true. I drank for 35 yrs and abused other drugs, because I did get progressively sicker. I knew what I was doing to myself. I got sober by going to treatment, the time away from friends and family and the lifestyle I was leading. I ended up in an AA meeting. I met a lot of good people there, it helped me get started on my sober journey , I don't currently attend meetings and I'm still alcohol free. I agree alcohol is not a disease. However I know through my own experience there was. Reason why I medicated myself my entire adult life til reached 48. I've Bremen clean for a year. And yes I feel the benefits., and yes it's all in the mind. However it's a little more than just not putting it in your mouth. And you get better. Which on the surface sounds great, but for most serious problem drinkers it's learned behavior for coping with life. You were able to stop putting it in your mouth. You got better. That's awsome. The meetings and fellowship especially at first can be very effective in helping someone adjust to living sober. In other words you are correct and so is AA and your both incorrect. Live the video. You do inspire people I think that's awsome! You inspire me. Please take this with an open mind. Peace and good luck to all.
AA did nothing for me but made me want a glass of wine when I left. It didn't seem healthy that I would have to sit there and confess i was a alcoholic because I believe that life and death is in the power of the tongue. You do have a community that supports you but I have a introvert personality so I wasn't very sociable anyways. Telling myself mentally every day that I hate alcohol made me start believing I really hate it. And it had more of a effect than AA did for me. I didn't drink everyday but I would drink a whole bottle to myself and finish other people drinks that was left around and cured my hangovers by drinking again in the morning so Idk if I was a problematic drinker or alcoholic. But your videos helps me a lot and you are a breathe of fresh air because you say the things that I need to hear.
Brianna R. Did you work the steps? If no, you haven’t tried AA.
@@hognip You do all the steps you end up back at step 1! keep a open mind. AA is a Nut house,
Too right mate! I’ve always said AA is just another addition.
LOL ! Call it what you want. But AA so far hasn't landed me in the pen, hospital, nut house and nearly dead like Alcohol. If you're not an alcoholic you wouldn't understand.
Thanks, Michael! I’m watching your videos every day now, and it’s been three days sober for me! Mind over matter! My record so far is three weeks sober, which I managed to do this past January. So I appreciate your teachings, and please keep them coming!
I am a problem drinker. I started drinking when my brother left home when I was 18. I used to listen to music and drink (on my own) and the habit has stuck right up to now. I need to stop . I drink mainly beer but will drink lots in one go.
You don't drink the juice you won't get drunk, whats the problem?
@@johnkenny694 Stupid comment.
Thanks for your video it is a breath of fresh air.. I spent 20 years in and out of AA trying to get sober I was ridiculed for not being honest or not wanting to be-leave in the AA program simply because in my heart I knew I needed empowerment and choice..
Naltrexone works really well to prevent drinking in the Sinclair method. 70% effective. Really addressed the psychological addition for me, no philosophy or religion just straight to the part of my brain that alcohol affects that makes me crave more once I start.
I agree with you about AA. I feel like it helps to confess your problem to others when you first quit, but after a while it becomes repetitive. There is a guy who goes to multiple meetings everyday in my city and he says the same shit everytime. He is against anything that doesn't stick to the steps and also criticizes those who don't attend regulary. I'm starting to believe he is using AA as a way to feel important and to have a social life when in reality he is being very negative and uses fear mongering.
Well done!!! Thats a good observation, how true.
My point exactly in the comment i made before reading yours ;-)
True
Fucking true statement holy shit.
Does it matter if he is happy and stopped drinking
Best thing that helps me since I got sober after that 1st 18-24hrs...Every time the thought of drinking creeps into my mind I immediately once I recognize I'm thinking of drinking I just tell myself: "No thanks, I don't drink." I repeat this until I loose the thought. I say it in my mind and out loud. As if I'm talking to someone else not TO myself. As if someone else offered the idea of drinking TO ME. Then I can reply as the person I WANT TO BE which is a sober NON drinker. I hope this helps someone as it helps me.... Good luck!
Kevin, I agree with what you say in this video, 100 percent!! Also, I've not had a drink in nearly one year (june) and I quit using the same mind over matter method that you did.
And, this is despite the fact that I've dealt with enormous peer pressure, anxiety, and sleeplessness.
But in the end, it was up to me to decide that I'd had enough, and I'm very glad to have found your channel on UA-cam, so please keep up the good work because it is inspiring.
I will add that I was never able to drink on a daily basis and so I never did, instead, I was a weekend binge beer drinker who drank because of social anxiety, and other lame excuses.
Big congrats on the first year Steven
Thanks for making this video. Being tired of a behavior isn't enough. Thinking my way out is the way. excellent.
Thank you for this.....I have always questioned What use AA was to people who have intense social anxiety.......talking in front of strangers makes me want to drink. I have been looking for something like this for years.....again my thanks.
Abigail Hornibrook. i never knew why everytime i left aa all i wanted to do was drink....i even relapsed after one meeting so i stopped going...your soo right
Exactly
I think it's great to hear people's experiences but I think you have to be aware that it's also making you feel like you are a victim which you can easily play into
Great vid, Kevin. I tried AA/12 step program/rehabs! They did not work, because I kept waiting for that"Higher Power" to take away that craving. then 35 days ago I said enough. I have not had a drink since and every day I keep getting stronger!
35 days and counting… You will be at your one year mark before you know it, it's only onwards and upwards
Did you actually work the steps?
+Randall Johnson I worked the steps until I got fed up with it. The problem with AA is treats alcoloholism as a moral weakness that your higher power will deliver you from drinking!
@@johnkoster8537 Same for me..I realised over many years in and out of AA it had to be an internal decision without dependence on anything except my own decision..if I'm bored I will sometimes go to AA or going through a difficult time for some extra support but I don't buy into the higher power and powerless stuff and having to open all your past life up to a sponsor who is not qualified and where there is no safeguarding in place..so yes find your own way with a mix and match or whatever works for you..and let others be free to make the same choices 😊
Another great video man, I always find they help me out quite a bit. I'm sober now for over five months, if anyone asks me now. Why did you quit drinking, I tell them straight out I'm an alcoholic. I know that I am after my last couple of relapses, cause back months ago. Even up to last three years, that's when my drinking, got out of control and. I denied the fact that, I was getting dependent on alcohol. I'd say to myself, naw I'm not one of them. I can stop anytime. Which in the past, I'd go by two three days. Without drinking and them. Days, me doing that it was a fecking nightmare. The withdrawals made me irritable, angry Id crack up over nothing. When I told my Doctor this. She said not only is that dangerous, you stopping all of a sudden. Then drinking again, you could have fitted, or even died over it. That's when I knew, I had a problem and it started to get into a vicious circle. If I carried on the way I did, I may not be here now. Cause that's how much damage this shit. Was doing to me, family and friends were saying. We're very worried about you, we're afraid you. Could be fond dead in you're flat, I went into severe d tees last time I got off this poison. What keeps me off it are few things, first admitting to yourself. You're an alcoholic, is the first step to recovery, second thing. Starting to get your life and health back again. Being more independent, looking to fill you're life out. I'm. Now working in a course it's like a workshop, which is run by The Mental Health team, getting people like myself back into society. Interacting with work and people again, it's scary at first. Doing it but it's well worth doing, and I am benefiting from it and. The people in it are, all on the same boat. Where no one will pass any judgement on you, I love how my life is slowly starting to feel good again and. Not wasting it sitting in my place with the curtains closed, fuck that I don't want to be. Going back to that horrible lonely dark path and way of living, just existing. Like that ever again. That's my main reason keeping off this piss sorry went off track for a minute lol, when you know youre an alcoholic. Knowing what to expect, by relapsing is a good reminder to keep you off it and looking at any old photos. Seeing how cruel you looked when on it, is a big eye opener. There is no magic cure guys, all we can do is our best and. No one can't fault us for doing that, God bless, this is a disease and. Its one that we can beat, long as we have faith in ourselves, willpower or medication to help I'm doing both. Whatever helps me, nit complaining about it, we can do this and. Live a good decent life without. This toxic slush.
I have to admit that I'm now in some trouble with booze. My short story... Grew up in eastern Canada drinking at 15. By 17 able to drink a lot. Managed to live an amazing life, always able to not get problematic with it. Never drank more than a couple times a week, almost never two days or nights in a row. Here's my problem. I've got the drink all mixed up with playing music. I'm truly one of those musicians who totally connects with his muse when drinking, and I play really well. But after 30 years of this I suffer hard hangovers and depression. I've become extremely antisocial. I can't stand to play or hear music or see people unless I'm drinking. As a matter of fact I find almost no joy in life. And I'm very aware of how great my life is, I'm very grateful about it. I just feel that without the drinks I'm not in the game at all, no real interest in anything. I'm also a very nice drinker. I get funny, talkative, playful, almost never angry or depressed, very creative. I've quit a few times in the last couple years but I always go back because I don't want to do anything without it. No magic in anything. It's a big part of the thing that makes me awesome. Now I'm fucked! I might have to just become a hermit in order to quit. Thx for the vids. Thx for listening.
How are you now sven
Feel exactly the same
I agree with you....and I never really thought about it but the addiction to the 'lifestyle' is harder to break than the physical addiction to alcohol. One of my favorite sayings is ' no progress without change' thanks for the videos they're very helpful.
more power to u man,I quit drinking out of share power to better myself,it was a killer but after a decade of drinking
There is a huge difference between being "dry" and not drinking and being "sober".
one of the things i picked up from AA guys was that you don't have to listen to everything, just listen to what makes sense to you and chuck the rest so there is no reason why one couldn't collect as much useful advice from any or all approaches like AA, SMART or Kevin's and then come up with the system that works for them. that said i still haven't found a system that works for me but i'm working on it ;-) thanks Kevin, very useful advice!
Thank you for the help I'm now alcohol free and ready to help others along the way
great video, i watched your first few and they were uninspiring.
this one is all inspiring! what a great thing it is to share your own wisdom.
a big thank you for you. well done. 👍
there nothing wrong with AA it's a tool to use when your first getting sober . I found the horror stories a strong reminder of what could happen if you don't watch yourself .. I have been in AA many times I've r the past 6 years but now haven't been in 4 months still sober . I read the AA big book I've read it 5 times 600 pages it really helps me and it feel like the book is my story ... I've relapsed after 1 year sober 3 times then 1.5 years now I'm 6 months ... every time I drink I do horrible things DUI break things start fights with people .. everytime I relapse I wake up in the jail or siko ward no joke ... I love ur videos .. AA is not for everyone but it has helped me also I have things on my wall in my room I read everyday why I stay sober ?? cause I have no life or future drunk ... I've teed and tryed a 100 times to control my drinking .. it's over so get used to it a sober life is hard at times but I love waking up in my bed and not in jail or a field with no shirt no keys and broke spending all my rent money ..
Thank you . Just hit 500 days sober
Thanks bro it was not easy but now I rarly think of booze I know what will happen and I'll never be able to control it ever so I let it go . I was tired of waking up in jail and losing my licance for 10 years yes 10 years from 4 drunk driving charges . Now I can drive and not worry abut getting In trouble it's a real treat .
The bad thing is I'm always worryed I'm going to relapse even though I never think of drinking or that I can control it now that I got some time . It haunts me because when I did relapse it's was SO terrible I have ptsd from it . Drunk driving breaking things make a ass of my self in my complex . Have you had this problem ? Any advice wukd be great or any good books about alchilocizm
Calvin canada thank you for that. I could not " think myself sober" I needed people who were sober and happy to help me. In AA I learned how to live on life's terms and clean up the mess I had made of my life!
Colin Crestejo
Great response to the email, I think the way you are dealing with removing Alcohol from your life is fantastic example that works. Thanks for all your video's they really make a difference!
Great Video as they all are.. I tried AA and it is the WORST thing I ever tried to quit!! I have been watching your videos for the last 8 months since I finally quit.. and mind over matter is the way!! Great advice Kevin!!
We’re not there to confess our problems. Were there to help others.
replacing one thing with another that is what I have been doing for years
Me too...its ALWAYS SUMTHING WITH ME....
We share our hopes strength and experiences with each other. AA teaches us how to live without alcohol.
You meed help.
After many years around 12 step programmes/Buddhist meditation, couple of rehabs thrown in, 7 years of sobriety and other periods of time, I've found what works for me..I can take points from these videos which are very helpful, a strong internal decision, looking to the future etc, AA if I want a bit of company if feeling isolated (I live alone and work alone as an artist), a daily mindfulness meditation practice based on some Buddhist principles, some discipline around work, getting extra help around difficult circumstances with regards to my private life etc etc..and allowing others the same freedom whether they be AA, Buddhist, Christian, atheists or whatever..when in an AA meeting I don't have to agree with much of what people share or the way the programme is run, but I can sit and use it as an ideal opportunity to watch the movement of my mind (meditation practice) judging and forming opinions which it does anyway in regards to other matters in life..I can keep my own counsel and develop the attitude of kindness, friendliness and acceptance to everyone I can who are present there..not necessarily agreeing internally but that's a matter for me not them..if I do share I don't need to ramble or cause controversy I can use a couple of sentences as to what I found helpful and where I can identify to offer encouragement and gratitude to the person.. and I need to keep in mind an attitude of gratitude for the meeting and persons being there and making the effort to provide a place of refuge whether it be Kevin and these videos, AA, Buddhist meditation groups regardless of tradition and the monasteries where I have had the opportunity to practice and been offered teachings on 10 day residential retreats or whatever..live and let live, treat others as you'd like to be treated, find what works for you and allow others the same freedom to explore and be on their own path, and maintain a degree of humility..all leading to a much more peaceful existence and life path..IMHO of course 😊
Everyone needs a label. It’s human nature. The way it was explained to me by my quit drinking guru is that Alcoholics are physically addicted to alcohol. They cannot stop drinking without medical assistance. To do so is risking their life. If they stop, they are liable to have seizures, DT’s, heart attacks - you name it. The rest of us are really problem drinkers to a greater or lesser extent. We are not physically addicted, we are psychologically addicted. There is a huge difference. We can quit any time we like, most of us just don’t want to quit enough.
I went thru a bad time in my life, cancer, radiation and chemo. I lived on Vodka, the 1.75 Liter bottles, went thru one very two days.Bad very bad, shakes, had to drink my coffee thru a straw as I could not hold the cup steady, after coffee I had to have my morning fix, Vodka and ginger ale at 8am. So I quit. It took me a few days to keep food down, crazy dreams and I heard voices at night that were right outside my door. That was the other side of life and I'm never going back there. Now my grandfather was an alcoholic as well as my dad so is this hereditary?
I have never felt comfortable in AA. It depresses me and causes stress w/ demands to speak to a sponsor daily and write a lot about past mistakes.
A true alcoholic can't control the amount they drink once they start.
Great discussion. Our minds create our reality so indeed the mind is the most powerful factor in quitting any bad habit. I completely agree that we have to change our thinking in order to successfully quit drinking for the rest of our lives. Trying to change our behavior or modifying the habit itself is simply not enough as such approaches rely on willpower which eventually fades.
Being an alcoholic isn’t victim at all. It’s the about solution n getting out of yourself.
You're somewhat right. What you forget is that most people (myself included) if they want to kick this kind of a problem need a community to help hold them accountable. Wether that is AA or something else, is really up to the individual. There is something to be said about mind over matter. It definitely works, but different people with different situations, are not always able to take that step. Try as they can, you don't know the other people that are around that person to influence them.
Spot on
I don't think I'm alcoholic but I am thinking of quiting drinking so I've been watching these videos. There's something about this guy, he's awesome, he seems so wise, I like watching him, makes me feel comforted.
Great lecture, I have been in rehab twice 1 x 12 weeks and 1 x 4 weeks most recently last Sept 2016. Both had the 12 steps and meetings in the structure. I was sober for nearly 4 months and then relapsed because I was (and may be still am, not convinced I am an alcoholic!!) today is my second day sober. I am writing a plan and totally agree with the mind over matter approach. I just have to be more pragmatic and consistent which is my failing. I agree with the theory of surrounding yourself with negative sometimes euphoric stories about the past and drinking. There are some points/parts of AA, which I also agree with and see how they can work but it is not a 100% guarantee. I will keep watching and enjoy your approach. Thanks it will help.
A big thank you to you Kevin, I think you are right and it is a case of mind over matter for most of us “problem drinkers”. Some of us like and need a bit of scaffolding, which I’m led to believe AA provides: I personally hate the thought of of being the helpless victim of a disease over which I have limited control, but I understand how others may be comforted by this idea. It’s paths up the mountain. The end result is the same for both classes of drinker; to find yourself at the top of the mountain having achieved the goal of abandoning drink completely. Best of luck to everyone on a path, which ever one you’ve chosen, up the mountain.
Yes, some people like a diagnosis - which has it's own set of problems, unfortunately.
I agree with you and thank you for emphasizing the power of the mind vs. being helpless. Your books and videos help so much. I just clicked with you from the beginning. Thank you Kevin!
You spoke about it in another video but my problem for 15 years is I'd convince myself I could drink in moderation. I was fighting a losing battle meaning I was a nightly drinker...back to just weekends...back to every other day...once per week, then nightly again, etc. Well thanks to your videos no alcohol in a week. No alcohol for life!
I think your right about everything you just said me and my son have been going to AA meeting for the last few months I'm going to cut it down to once a week and find some self improvement classes better and wean off of AA meetings it kinda makes me feel depressed to hear everyone's sad story's over and over again I want me and my son to move on and be strong and motivated for our new life not stuck in the alcohol past.
your a hero, think you even if no one but me said anything. i love man, and you're helping me more than you know.
IV tried AA a few times it's not for me I'm no Bill Wilson It wore me down listening all doom and gloom same stories every meeting I have even been to meetings after being sober 9wk 3 days omg I went buy 4 cans on way home so now I keep away I don't want my alcoholism turn into revoverism it does help some so don't let me put anyone off for trying I started drinking in my early 40s couldn't tell you how it got to every night it was fun at first this was 10yr ago after 4 yrs of drinking every night I got clean but I was just coming in to my 15 month dry then those 5 dreaded words one drink won't hurt me by God it did I been struggling since but I chose mind over matter IV been sober since 3rd of January 2019 and I feel well so well good luck to anyone who is struggling you can do it xxx
So inspired,a new day starts tomorrow,for me.thank you for the great videos.well done on your personal quest in life.keep up the good work,thanks.
Thank you for making these videos. You make a great deal of logical sense. Maybe one day, I'll join you in alcohol abstinence.
Thank you. It might fall on deaf ears. Its hard man. I appreciate it, and you. So it's good to hear a sponsor when you need it the most.
I can't stop. I'm on this daily beer function it feels just about automatic. It's 2AM and I'm still drinking beer. Work tomorrow and booze at lunch. Same shit different day.
you dont get drunk off beers, its just habit. try replacing with non-alcholic beer. I've replaced my urge with root beer haha
@@ys177 they have NA brew that’s actually great and topo Chico
My mental health is so bad now . Also with thinking and self help . But it honestly has never been able to stop me drinking ... what ever works for you xx
Hmm this video (among others) actually helped me realize that I'm not an alcoholic, just an addict in general. I just can't stand being sober, and alcohol is the easiest thing to get (thanks western society.)
I was thinking of using marijuana to help me ease off, I've tried many times to quit including AA. I think you are 100% on target here, it's only me controlling my mind and my actions. Thanks for this video and the others, I feel they are helping me.
I inhabited the "halls" for a few years. I saw what you describe so well. AA's failure rate after 5 yrs. is about 92%--their number. I heard that from "recovering alcoholics". 90% failure rate is common for Minnesota Method which is what they employ. Bonus, the majority of those who do quit bail out of the halls so it is very hard to get a sponsor.
Great video. I stopped drinking for years now and get asked at AA meetings by mostly newcomers, "How'ed you quit?", as if I had the answer. My answer is, "Just like you." Then that starts a conversation on what I call, "Between the ears" and go on to explain what worked for me (same as you described). AA, NA and the rest are support while you are "re-thinking".
I'm 70 years old and know a thing or two more about my way of thinking. First, i want to mention that the classification "alcoholic" is an old label that carries a lot of negative views. We are ADDICT'S !!
WE ARE THE CURE!! Get out the same way you got addicted. The desire comes from the brain. The decision comes from the brain. Going to the store to buy what you are addicted to comes from the brain.
Now the question for folks that that have accepted responsibility for our addiction, what can can I do to help others understand this solution?
"I still get me ankles wet when I walk on water" Chuck Greenwell
Just stumbled across this video and found it very interesting. I must have needed to hear what you have said Kevin otherwise why did I search for something AA related. I have been sober for nearly 27 months and initially attended AA meetings. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days. But I have never accepted the programme for various reasons. I totally agree with mind over matter and your comments about replacing one addiction with another (going to endless meetings etc). There are aspects of AA that I like, but feel uncomfortable in meetings because people know I only go from time to time. I don't approve of sponsorship because of the bullying and control aspect - I could go on and on with this....
i wish there was a program just for guys like you and this chap. Free Group therapy for just problem drinkers. I heard there are meetings for agnostics called like "beyond belief" they aren't fans of the steps and most of the people I hear aren't into the spiritual side of the program, maybe try one of those?
Patrick P thanks for the feedback Patrick
As a young man that is a problem drinker i really do want to cut down and/or stop drinking. I drink because i get depressed a lot and i have noticed that drinking makes me more depressed.
Great video man. Excellent.
Glad you liked it Dirk
That's exactly what I think. I'm only one week in but I just don't want it any more and have zero desire for putting this unhealthy liver destroying, family destroying liquid in my body.
I agree 100% on mind over matter wether it's a mental or phsical addiction someone deals with. It's always been a mental addiction for me, not a physical one, yet it's a scratch i still need to itch on a regular basis because i don't see anything to replace it with out there? Going cycling, to the cinema etc is fine, but just becomes tedious after a while. I will still be stuck in dead end jobs until the day i retire, without or without alcohol. My behaviour can be foolish when i'm drunk, and that along with the cost is what bothers me. But at 45, it feels like the horse has already bolted for me.
Try as I might I could not completely control my thoughts, there was a percentage of them that were stronger than my intentions BUT I can control my actions and as I fed positive actions into my subconscience it started to emit positive thinking. Move a muscle, change a thought.
A lot of alcoholism has to do with spiritual warfare.. if you have acquired any enemies in your life, they will start screaming and scheming whenever you try to actually start living. They make me feel like it's hopeless for me to try and that I could never defeat them (whatever that would mean), but two things are certain: I don't stand a chance if don't quit alcohol (I'll also never know where I stand), and also there's nobody who can force me to take a drink of alcohol- not even my worst enemy. So I guess you can say I "GAVE UP" due to severe mistakes and overwhelming state of hopelessness- this is why I believe most people start drinking in an 'alcoholic' (lost hope) manner. But now I'm back to take another shot.. that's all I can do. I'm not even sure if what I will see and find will be good news and I may need to retract back into alcohol and cigarettes (instead of suicide) if my soul is still enslaved. But I'm going to give it an honest try.
Are you a real alcohol i.e. are you a member of AA? According to NA I am not a real addict. Several doctors would disagree completely. Who the hell wants to be a real alcoholic or addict and uses the term like a badge of honour? Smh... Crossfit beats sitting in meetings drinking rancid coffee any day lol
Keep Coming Back. You have a lot to learn 😁
It only took two weeks for the staff at the tavern me and my friends frequent to automatically bring me a non alcoholic beverage of soda water snd lime.
My friends have become accustomed to my new found behaviour. Peer pressure has died awsy and I'm hoping they will follow my example.
Find your own fortitude and quit . Period
I see your point man. The real problem its the lifestyle that people get into, and I can tell from my experience that I really can't imagine waking every day and just simply don'd drink. I'm not an alcoholic since I don't get any physical shit when I dont' drink, and I even think that you need almost to try it in order to become a real alcoholic. But still, I know I have a problem with alcohol because I really don't want to live whithout it.
Then you're an alcoholic. Just stop.
My ex is sober nearly 2 years and we remained friends when he returned to Ireland from Australia for treatment. However, our friendship as dwindled as I see him as a completely different person and before seeing this video I said to him that he seems to have replaced one addiction with another. He is at AA meetings at least 5 times a week, he is at after care meetings once a week, he now works at the treatment centre he went to which is a catholic one and he was not religious. He is no longer close to his family and does not socialise with anyone outside of AA. his whole life has become almost an obsession over this ‘new’ life. I find it very very sad.
You're a very decent man Kevin. Thank you
+Andy James thank you Andy
I think there's more to it then just stopping drinking..Esp if you have a troubled past , takes years of therapy and CBT etc.Stopping drinking is the easy part..Working on yourself and your behaviour is another thing otherwise you end up a dry drunk.. Working the steps etc is working on yourself..
I've watched all your videos Kevin, and for me this one is the most cogent as it makes you think, really think about what you are doing.
I find all your videos very helpful. This one in particular really has pushed me more in the right direction to a clearer mindset and better discipline. Thank you.
+joanne notaro Glad to help Joanne
Good work. Certainly makes me believe that mind over matter will work. I am going to give it a shot . Thanks for the encouraging words
AA is a parasitic group. People go to hear someone else's story, in the hopes that they can feel, "Wow! At least I'm not as fucked up as that person."...Look, I don't know why people count their days of sobriety. I really don't get it. The best way is to quit and move on. Yeah, easy to say, I know, but alcohol is a relationship to something you love. Now, substitute alcohol into the role of the member of an abusive relationship. Do you count the days you've been broken up with your ex? Do you go to meetings to talk about how long you've been without your ex? Of course not. Counting the days means that you have not let go. Think about it. Let gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I don't know why I expected for this to feel like a united front in my own personal struggle. Clearly, UA-cam, the internet and all of it's users are as tangled up in their own lives as I must be. I posted a lengthy comment about this video asking multiple questions and didn't get a single response, on multiple videos. Clearly I am looking in the wrong place for answers. The inevitable truth is not a single person out there knows my individual struggle, just as no one else fully understands yours. Meetings may work for the sense of solidarity but ultimately it is an individual struggle. I had hoped for more from these motivational talks but it is evident that these videos are Kevin's way of dealing with his own affliction. I commend him and anyone on their ongoing efforts to conquer their vices but would urge you to consider the merit and evidence of a UA-cam video before relying on it's advice. I am quite disappointed in all honesty. Obviously I was hoping for something that I just didn't get. If you need to talk about your vices then UA-cam is not the outlet or forum for you, as I have discovered.
I’ll never drink alcohol again. Worse 3 years of my life. Quitting was so hard and I only did it with the help of God!
This is the video I needed to watch today. Thank you
Makes me realize I've depended on alcohol to deal with stress in the past. I by no means am an alcoholic...but I definitely could be a problem drinker. If I'm going to a night event that might be be nerve wracking or even if I want to hangout with friends, I'll have a drink. I've also hidden my drinking from my loved ones. Sure, I can go a few weeks without it, but I should really cut liquor out of my life because I never have the same impulses and issues drinking wine. My mums brother is an alcoholic and I need to stop using it have fun on Fridays. I have so many passions and interests, I should be able to limit my consumption to a few glasses once a month until it becomes a big part of my life.
problem drinker and alcoholic are the same thing...or at least the problem drinker is on the way....
No such thing as an alcoholic. Drinking is either causing u problems in your life..Or not..Regardless of how many days and how many drinks you drink..Its taken me 25 years too realise this myself..As I binge drink regularly..
Maddy Harvey I think I'm having an issue w alcohol cuz I'm drinking frequently :(
Sho Kosugi wow... profound thinking. True!
Ima sucker for the dry ale. But i got sick again today and i dont feel good at all. As i shouldnt. I wanted to say these videos really help. Even though im still struggling with letting it go. You are a really cool dude. Kevin Ohara.
I certainly appreciate the knowledge, the unfortunate way you learned, but I am dealing with it and I can’t actually picture myself using the “mind over matter” principle because I simply can’t imagine life without it at this point. I appreciate any guidance or counsel.