Address This Mess: ‘My Best Friend Always Wants My Man’
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- Опубліковано 23 лют 2022
- We’re always in the business of helping our Real fam clean up their messes, and this one definitely needs to be addressed. We share advice for a friend who needs to establish boundaries in her friendship.
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#addressthismess #friendshipadvice #boundaries - Розваги
I’m howling at “Paul, Mitchell, Michael, Doug, and Felix.”
I laughed out loud hahaha
Not felix 😔
Adrienne was just tryna make a point! That's all!
@@juliajohnson1557 yeah but she did it in a funny way which made it better!:)
@@thethrowawaythatstayed7055 Thank you! That is what I was saying.
it's the "LOOK BITCH..." for me. lmao
Adrienne stole the words out of my head. That girl is mean to her friend and feels like a saviour. We know her type that like to keep you low and they want to be the center of attention.
Adrienne is SPOT ON. I’ve been there. I had a friend like that in college. Lord knows, I thought this friend had more than me in every area, but it still wasn’t enough. I came from a poor family. I received financial aid and it still wasn’t enough so I slept wherever I could but mostly at her place that her parents paid for and wrote annual tuition checks in full. Like Adrienne said, I felt indebted in many ways. Every guy I liked my friend would flirt with. It hurt so badly. I NEVER competed with her, not that I couldn’t but I didn’t want to. I always believed God made all of us special in our own ways and what’s meant for you is for YOU. Anyways, fast forward it’s been two decades. I left that friend years ago. People rarely change. And somethings you shouldn’t have to tell or teach a grown adult! Besides, “friends” like that are manipulative enough to make it seem like you’re insecure and seeing things that’s not there or they’ll say they’ll do better which means they’ll only get better doing it behind your back. Run! Will I always be grateful for that friend’s help? Yes! But, like Adrienne points out: some people helping you isn’t really for you or about you; it’s for themselves. It makes them feel needed, better, and valued. Every time I was doing well and soaring, my friend called and came around less or not at all. That “friendship” was a blessing because I now know what a friendship is NOT suppose to feel like. Knowing and feeling are two different things. I had to experience both.
WELL SAID. Some "friends" will make it seem like your holding a grudge when your creating boundaries and don't tolerate when they cross over them after you've articulated what's okay and what isn't.
Lol you older and single right lol
I relate
I agree with Adrienne. Please don't get in the habit of collecting red flags with people that you know. This lady wrote in because in the past her intuition was giving her all kinds of signals that something isn't right with this friend and now she's trying everything in her power to find a reason dismiss what her gut is telling her. Hopefully, she takes the fact that she even had to write this letter as confirmation that she needs to end this "friendship".
I agree with Adrienne! However, also take it as a sign that those weren’t the right men for you because they should be checking the friend too!
Exactly!
But since it’s a new thing maybe the guys don’t know
@@sunnym2458 yes or could completely misunderstand y'all friendship, could think this is what you guys do.
true, but your friend should be more loyal to you because you've known each other longer
hello 👋🏾
Adrienne was right but tbh if I had a friend like this I wouldn't be scared to have a talk. We either gonna talk like adults and you stop or we can end our friendship.
That ain't your friend. Just weirdo energy, kick that shady heffa out of your life.
😂😂😂😂😂this made me fall out lol
The sitting on the lap was the straw that broke the camels back. I would NEVER. Obviously this friend has issues and is inappropriate
She was never your friend because she intentionally do it to hurt you. Cut her off. My ex best friend did the exact same thing to me and had the audacity to try to make me look like the bad guy . Cut her off because she is showing you over and over that she does not value your friendship.
Exactly, that is not a friend
I relate
Adrienne is 100% right!
Loni had me cracking up😂😂😂
Adrienne is right but I would come like Loni
Adrienne hit the nail on the head. Frenemy indeed.
But then people want to debate why some friends shouldn't be allowed to stay overnight.
That person is not a friend. As adults it's our duty to discern what a hood or bad friend is. My friends know they can't do this and we all stay over each other's place! Know who you call friends. Just like how men show us red flags, so do friends and family
When Loni said "Look bitch" it took me out! Detroit Debbie came out (the day ones know)!!!Good thing nobody wants James but her.
@@bsbgirl85 did you like your own comment? Lmfao
Lonnie and Adrian's analysis could be the reason why these things are happening. But I believe also that her friend might think she is better than her. In other words she's saying that if this guy likes my friend who I know is not better looking than me then he's going to definitely fall in love with me. She's using the friend as bait to get guys
True
spot on
True or just jealous her friend is just jealous of her and secretly competing with her or trying too...
Friends are always. . competitive
I understand this 1000%! You feel indebted when a close friend has helped you out. Although you repay them, you still feel like it's never enough. So you look the other way if they say or do something sly. The friend knows what they are doing and it's a form of manipulation. This loop will never end until you wake up and realize you don't owe them anything.
In family relationships you can have a similar part of feeling indebted to helping out when the relationship is clearly "unequally yoked". Sometimes you have to see it for yourself in order to walk away.
@@shawnpreston1639 No, I'm from Chicago. We still use southern lingo that our grandparents retained. Most of our families can be traced directly to the south.
I had this problem. When the next guy came I never told her but now we ain’t even friends oh well
Congratulations 👏🏽!!
It seems like the friend gets off on "taking" men from her and it's a game for her. She is the type the is only interested in men that someone else is interested in.
This is kind of how I felt too. Also, I wondered if the friend is single and feels like if she can't have a man then nobody can. I think this is a bit of misery loves company.
There’s those to
These are what they call friends in need and never in success. Some friends think they are better and so they are there when things are bad but cant stand when things go well for you. Coming when things are bad gives them a chance to feel better.
Loni and Adrienne had good points with this
Helping someone out doesn't give you the right to be an @$$hole to them later. If someone is always pursuing your (potential) "significant others", that someone needs to become an insignificant part of your life
so true
People just love to deal with the BS. Y’all don’t need to have these types of friendship. No need
Thank you! You hold onto this person and then say that's why you can't have Fri. No, let the frenemies go
I screamnt when Loni said the friend is in love with her 😭
It be like that!!!
i didnt scream i said yep that right!
These days I wouldn't be surprised
Shhhh like that happens
Me too! That would be a plot twist huh lol 😂! But overall all the writer really needs to have the conversation with her "friend". And if that doesn't go well...
Then it's time to cut her ass off 😡!
Throw that backstabbing friend in the 🗑️
I had a friend like this & didn't realize it until our friendship finally ended. Chicks like this in the video just simply love attention all on them. They are deeply insecure & feel incredibly low when attention isn't on them so they'll do anything to get it. Even if that means them being deceitful & pure selfish. You can't keep people like that in your life. Cut em off
Well said girl facts ✨👌🏾
I'm loving Lonnie's stylist this season.
I agree with Loni “she in love with her “
That is a HATER. You best friend should want wants best for you instead of looking at you with jealous and envious eyes. Dump her!
I had the same problem, my husband (boyfriend) at that time told me she kissed him while he was playing the piano. I immediately cut that friendship off and informed her I noticed she did it with every man that came around but, for her to do it to my boyfriend was time to cut off our friendship and return my handbags she borrowed. Why is it some women assume every man likes them for some reason. Had we remained friends I would never be able to trust her around him. I never interacted with her again plus she always liked to borrow my things.
After she kissed your husband did he turn her down?
I feel like that "friend" has a superiority complex over her friend. She helps out because she wants you in that spot beneath her. So when you have a boyfriend she needs that attention from him to prove to herself she's better than you. Dump that "friend" she never really liked you. She just wants you around to make herself feel better.
indebted or not...a true friendship will have the courage and respect to say exactly what Loni said....
the friend's reaction is what will determine whether you stay or not.
Reaction? Why?
@ceteris paribus maybe the reaction we're hoping for is the "friend" is genuinely remorseful and doesn't want to lose the writer's friendship 🤷? But odds are I'm not sure that's gonna happen, and the writer will just have to cut the "friend" off after all.
This is not your friend! Friends don't do that! There is a line that friends don't cross! Indebted my foot! I don't know what kinds of people these people are dealing with!
Exactly, not a friend must less best friends.
Never ever go after a person that your bestie/sister/brother likes. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t make you look good, it makes you look desperate.
I agree with loni and Adrienne. Frenemies mix the good with the bad to confuse you and keep you stuck in the friendship
Her friend is disrespectful period
I agree
Garcelle is always ready with her "its a doozy" hahaha i love it
It's Adrienne saying "Lord" in the background for me.
Exactly why you don't bring everyone around your man that goes for friends and family 💯
And then when you say this people swear you insecure!!! Like it’s not even that
@@bigbree2461 Some people can't handle the truth
Well said Adrienne!!!
Loni that’s definitely a plot twist 😂😂😂
This girl done named a whole track list of dudes… red flag ! You need to cut that friend off… cuz why does she always seem to be interested in the guys u date?! Seems suspiciousss!!! Jealous maybe ? Maybe even ruins ur moments on purpose to keep u to herself If Ykw I mean ! I just I can’t take people that do stuff like that ! Be happy for me instead of trying to infiltrate on my happiness
Maybe she likes her.
When I first started watching, to me it sounded like a power abuse. The friend feels like she can do whatever she wants because she was there for her in her lowest moments. But that is manipulative and you cannot use your good deeds towards a person to excuse bad/inappropriate behavior. When she has this conversation, I hope she doesn’t allow her friend to use those things against her. Like say hey I know you have done some amazing things for me and I am so grateful, but this here is unacceptable and cannot happen anymore. It’s called boundaries, and if her friend can’t respect them then that’s a sign the relationship has come to an end.
I Agree with Adrienne and I don't think her "friend doesn't like seeing her happy and thriving".
Adrienne ran this yasss 👌🏾👌🏾👍🏽
Lonnie you might be right. She want her friend to herself
I 100 percent agree with Adrienne! I don’t care what rock bottom she helped with. She’s giving you several red flags let her go!
I am sorry but any woman who goes after your man is NOT your friend! We have to stop making up words like ‘frienemy’ to excuse disrespectful and unacceptable behavior. She is either a friend or an enemy. You can’t be both. When someone is always making you fail or feel bad about yourself then flips the switch is abusive. Plain and simple.
It’s that simple!
She is not her friend. She gave her a place to live because she enjoyed feeling like her friend was needy and in pain. She is listening to her because she is enjoying her misery.
I’m loving Garcelle’s makeup, hair, nails, and outfit ‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥
These were not the right guys for her, as they probably would have messed with her SO CALLED FRIEND!
Cut off. I used to ignore so many red flags because I had the mentality "I don't see her doing that". You can never trust people and it's always best to keep them at arms length.
Boundaries for everyone! I agree
Adrienne is right. I think this is the typical situation of where people are uncomfortable with putting boundaries in place with friends / family because of the good they've done for them. Just because someone does good for you doesn't mean you are at their mercy of disrespect. She should have the conversation first, before cutting her friend off because clearly she's never raised that this was an issue.
Preach Adrienne! She’s a frienemy!
Loni hit the nail on the head!!!!!
This girl just needs to end this "friendship" with her. Loni had a good point. Ade had a good point too. I agree with ade 100% friendship over
Yep Loni, BOOM!! That right there
Loni is glowing and ain’t neva lied
I think Loni is right.
Yep Loni your right gotta address it that way!!😂😂
Leave the friend.
Adrienne hit the nail on the head on this one!
Lol - I love Loni! She keeps it all the way real. 😂❤️
Loni is incredible. I’m so serious, what a thoughtful person
I had a friend like this and I just told her plainly (after years) how I felt. She continued and I let her know I would not be inviting her again and why. She eventually stopped and started doing it to another friend 🤷🏾♀️
I have had a Loni situation, when the person is obsessed..... I would slowly remove myself if not Fast!!!
Adrienne nailed it !
She has to let that relationship go. That’s the type of “friend” that will try to sleep with ur man/husband. She’s not to be trusted.
The Real should make a segment where they discuss what happened to these people that send the letters
Loni looks good. I would Never see it her way though. WOW! Adrienne is Right- I would get rid of that frenemy ASAP!
Loni you are so right! That's exactly what I thought... she's blocking the men because she does not want her friend to have anyone else but her.... she's obsessed with her friend so she's pretending to be all over the guys she meet.
I would end the "friendship"....PERIOD
Boy oh Boy I thought and then Lonnie said it lol.
Can we get a compilation of how wise A has become throughout the years? Gosh!
Best friend is not a title for that person. As adults we need to learn the true meaning of these roles. We should be able to discern what a good friend is. Let that person go
This has happened to me and worse. Don’t make mistakes I made. Cut her loose!!
I'm with Adrienne
2:31 DING DING DING!
I love Adrienne‘s outfit 👌🇨🇦
A real friend doesn't randomly treat you well and then proceeds to mess into your love life and make moves on the guys you like. I had a 'friend' like that when I was a teen. She made it look like she cheered for me on everything, even with the boy I was in love back then. I didn't tell her I like him, she knew because he was really flirty with me and she noticed my reactions. She said she was going to help me, but instead, when we were in group at the pool she would climb on his back and caress his hair and I was soooo annoyed. He didn't date her, he didn't date me either, but she also stole my best friend by inviting her places and always leaving me behind and she did the same with the whole group of friends. And I was almost left alone because of her, so be careful with this type of people. If they are suuuper nice to you but at the same time they hurt you, that ain't a friendship...
Sadly even Jesus had a judas and he stayed with him for three years and Still betrayed him...
sounds like pure jealousy to me. There's that type that outwardly would hype you up but inside they're filled with resentment towards you. They try to block or get everything you have. Its unfortunate.
@@cheriedeparis5000 exactly
@@cheriedeparis5000 it really is... and it's so sad because if each person would work on themselves instead of setting traps for others this would be such a good world...
I am with Loni on her friend being in love with her
I’m loving Fancy’s outfit today!
Fancy😜
I’m here with Lonnie! Don’t touch my man!!
I smell major narcissism I’m surprised they didn’t catch on to that. My former friend is a narcissist and did all these things .
Not everyone thinks the same way, and all of them had great points Adrienne and Loni point sounds spot on like the friend can be so obsessed loves her, not in love in my opinion, doesn't want to see her move on likes her company, and wants to keep her around, I wouldnt end the friendship but I would have the talk and distance myself just to keep boundaries we have these type of things happen at work and maybe family I have friends where I didn't know their family members can be negative nancies.
The moment I see a friend of mine going after my man you not a frenemy you a opp
I have a cousin that did some foul stuff like that. She lost her virginity to my boyfriend at the time after we broke up( I lost my virginity to him too). Then she tried to get with my first love years after me and him broke up he told me because we're still friends. Then she was messing around with this dude I was messing with. Then the bish turned around and had a baby with her lil sisters ex boyfriend. Smh🤦🏾♀️ I can't.
Hello arizona Tucson !!! Is here near my phoenix area coty 2 hours away I’m from phoenix cactuses 🌵
Adrienne spoke facts.
You say, "Look b*$#h..." LMAO
Damn Loni called it 😂
Talk to Mrs Sheard. Lol.
And y’all had so much to say about Kierra sheard-Kelly when she made that comment. THIS IS WHYYYYY!!!!
Adrienne was spot on. Period.
I would be honest with her, listen to her response, and give her another chance. If she does not get it together, I would be on my way.
She also needs to stop introducing this 'friend' to her potential partners so soon!
Yesss I been threw this ex friends low key 💜 heart loving with your man but she needs to know they are going to gaslight you and play stupid like you are over reacting she is not your friend she is jealous of you
The girl is doing this because she knows you won’t address this issues because she was there for you when no one was there. That’s doesn’t make her entitled to be in you relationships or potential ones. Leave her ass and say thank you
100% agree with Adrienne but I think she should just slowly withdraw from her and not confront her if she doesn't feel like she can confront her.
I’d love to hear back from these people after the ladies give advice. Like did they follow it, what happened.. lol. You put it out there, I wanna know what happened!