My favorite Steven Wright joke is, "I got a post card from a friend. It was a satellite picture of the earth. On the back it read, wish you were here."
I tried to make instant coffee in a microwave....I almost went back in time. ______________ Update: Heh heh....I just saw just now that someone else had already posted that joke a couple comments below.
mediocrity It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it! The guy has so many good ones.. I think my apartment was burglarized, but they replaced everything with exact replicates..
***** Really!? That is pretty cool. I have always loved his delivery as well as his material. I can still remember the first time that I saw him on TV some 30 years ago. Laughed so hard my eyes watered and my sides hurt, could not understand how some people did not appreciate him. It has been a long time since I saw him, then came you tube. Anyway, hence my remembering the gist of his jokes but forgetting the subtleties.
True dat. Intellect, and ability to see humor and appreciate it are both seen. People who can't read comic strips, or who actually mock people that do, are trouble. Steer clear.
I always liked... "I like to fill up the bathtub, turn on the shower, and pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit.... And, I have a circular driveway. I can't get out." LOL
Thanks for posting that. I'm a huge Steven Wright fan (he's one of my influences) and I've never seen that one before (at least I don't remember seeing it 20 years ago).
With each generation getting increasingly more stupid, I doubt Steven Wright's humor will last much longer so for those of you old enough to appreciate his genius, enjoy it while you can.
I went to a hamburger joint that said it was open 24 hours. I kept knocking on the door. The guy inside wouldn't let me in. I said to him the sign reads open 24 hours. He said, " not in a row".
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody's making a penny. I stayed up one night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
i do like the quick humor like this, cos you never get bored and the next feed line turns up and bang! punchline, and again and again. i like the hearse one at the start. i do like the messing with words jokes, its more funny when you make the joke yourself instead of being spoon fed it... top stuff
Stephen proves to comics like eddie murphy and jim carrey that you don't need to be over the top and borderline obnoxious to be funny, you just need to have smart jokes with a bit of creativity in the delivery.
Every day when I come home I try to move the carpet through telekenesis. I've been doing that for a year the carpet hasn't moved an inch... the rest of the house is gone.
When Stephen Wright did his first stand-up gig, he was planning to be jovial and outgoing, but he was so nervous that everything came out flat and monotoned. The rest is history. True story.
Every time Steven Wright walks on stage after Dave Lettermen introduces him, the band plays *"Reelin in the Years* " I know he didnt write the song. Its _Steely Dan_ ... Just wondering... 🎸
He often covers his solar plexus which rather gives the lie to his relaxed delivery, nevertheless he is #1 in my book - sometimes equalled but never surpassed.
@@CocoOPNY Also, Letterman said: "One of the most unique...". No one can be "one of" the most unique because unique comes from "uni" meaning one. Unique is a much abused word here in the UK also.
Steven Wright sure was bald-headed at this juncture. There was a time he had all of his hair. Unbelievable that he is bald....kind of like Howie Mandel (the dude who does deal or no deal---the germ-a-phobee)
Steven Wright is so laid-back I bet he falls asleep in the middle of insomnia.
Always loved this guy! "I went to a general store. They wouldn't sell me anything specific"
It's so amazing how someone can make a whole act out of great one-liners... Love him so much!
My favorite Steven Wright joke is, "I got a post card from a friend. It was a satellite picture of the earth. On the back it read, wish you were here."
My favorite of his, "I bought a pack of powdered water but I don't know what to add."
I tried to make instant coffee in a microwave....I almost went back in time.
______________
Update: Heh heh....I just saw just now that someone else had already posted that joke a couple comments below.
Steven Wright - the "Gary Larson" of standup.
I’ve always said that Steven Wright and Gary Larsen have never been seen in the same room at the same time
My Steven Wright quote is "You can't have everything. ........ Where would you put it?"
I LOVE STEVEN WRIGHT -
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!!!!!
This man has a unique and brilliant delivery. A comic genius.
"I once received a humidifier and a de-humidifier as gifts, so I just put them in the same room and let them fight it out."
"Then I filled my humidifier with wax now my rooms very shiny".
Steven Wright is absolutely hysterical!
My fave Steve one liner "I put instant coffee in the microwave, I went back in time"
***** How about "bought a camouflage shirt, put it in my closet, now I can't find it"
mike mostad Ooh, what about that other instant coffee one: "I make instant coffee so I can have enough energy to make regular coffee."
mediocrity It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it! The guy has so many good ones.. I think my apartment was burglarized, but they replaced everything with exact replicates..
rcacad I concede to your incredible recall!
***** Really!? That is pretty cool. I have always loved his delivery as well as his material. I can still remember the first time that I saw him on TV some 30 years ago. Laughed so hard my eyes watered and my sides hurt, could not understand how some people did not appreciate him. It has been a long time since I saw him, then came you tube. Anyway, hence my remembering the gist of his jokes but forgetting the subtleties.
One time I poured spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
DisappearingBoy hahaha ha ha
I have an East German Sheppard.
(Very, very disciplined)
this dude broke ground on what people were thinking yet now saying in the era, thank you for that
Perfect first date test. Go to a Steven Wright show and check his (or her) face after each joke. Then you'll know whether to proceed.
Ahh .. that's why I hate my husband!
True dat. Intellect, and ability to see humor and appreciate it are both seen. People who can't read comic strips, or who actually mock people that do, are trouble. Steer clear.
Holy crap. This Letterman show happened 31 years and 5 days ago. WHERE THE F**K DOES THE TIME GO?!?
Crashburn 32 , time hammers us all equally brother.
It always scares me when people say they don't get his jokes.
THAT scares the hell out of me too
Those who don't get them are suspect of being anti intellectual. Lot of his jokes take a few seconds. He knows this.
His "jokes" aren't funny.
Lords of Media They're hysterical!
KEVIN PIASTRA: COMEDIAN , no sense of humor !
In Europe, do they call Miles Davis "Kilometer" Davis?
"I can levitate birds but no one cares", Genius
I’m staying in a pool. I’m staying in a- nahh forget it.
Dude could even get a laugh out of a botched up set up.
awesome post!!!!!!! please share more original steven wright spots... i guess he disappeared for a long time, but he is one of the best comics around
If Steven Wright posted this video it would be the 88th of January year 8.
he is awesome - loved his stuff for years!!!!
I always liked... "I like to fill up the bathtub, turn on the shower, and pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit.... And, I have a circular driveway. I can't get out." LOL
If it weren't for my mother and father, I wouldn't be alive to tell you this.
the man makes you think rather than just listen.
That's his genius.
David Harrison shut the fuck up lol it’s not hate complicated
Thanks for posting that. I'm a huge Steven Wright fan (he's one of my influences) and I've never seen that one before (at least I don't remember seeing it 20 years ago).
I put a new motor in my car... forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles an hour... I put spot remover on my dog... now he's gone
With each generation getting increasingly more stupid, I doubt Steven Wright's humor will last much longer so for those of you old enough to appreciate his genius, enjoy it while you can.
I'm painfully shy... but only when I'm alone.
I can levitate birds but nobody cares
I went to a hamburger joint that said it was open 24 hours. I kept knocking on the door. The guy inside wouldn't let me in. I said to him the sign reads open 24 hours. He said, " not in a row".
Here's my fav of his , Way do we park on a driveway & drive on a parkway ?
That joke goes w-a-y back to early George Carlin, long before Steven Wright.
"I just thru reading the dictionary...turns out the zebra did it..."
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody's making a penny.
I stayed up one night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Wow! There are some Steven Wright jokes I had never heard before in this routine!
"What is an occasional table the rest of the time?"...
There was a sale on shoes. 50% off. I bought two pair and got them for free.
i love this guy
miss those days
Very underrated
i do like the quick humor like this, cos you never get bored and the next feed line turns up and bang! punchline, and again and again. i like the hearse one at the start. i do like the messing with words jokes, its more funny when you make the joke yourself instead of being spoon fed it... top stuff
Is anyone else curious about how to get the 1 Month Free Cooler Rental? 6:14
Steve is with a doubt the funniest comedien of all time
Fuckin hilarious when he messes up with the pool joke. God that's funny. He's great.
Stephen proves to comics like eddie murphy and jim carrey that you don't need to be over the top and borderline obnoxious to be funny, you just need to have smart jokes with a bit of creativity in the delivery.
how on earth does he think of this stuff,theres no one like him at all.............
My favourite Steven jokes are 15 and 8.
I have a very large sea shell collection, you probably have seen some of them. I keep them scattered on beaches throughout the world.
Every day when I come home I try to move the carpet through telekenesis.
I've been doing that for a year the carpet hasn't moved an inch... the rest of the house is gone.
this is rad
2:30 Wright is the only one who could choke like that and it not matter, probably because thats just about the only time he has ever choked...
Accidentally used my cars keys on my front door.
Me throughout this entire video:" I see what he did there".
When Stephen Wright did his first stand-up gig, he was planning to be jovial and outgoing, but he was so nervous that everything came out flat and monotoned. The rest is history. True story.
I'm so glad he persevered.
I always lose it at 4:47-4:55. "My God, we're surrounded!"
XD
The best.
@ArosIrwin No, you are actually watching one eighth of a part of an 88 part video
What a nice night for an evening, huh? 😂
this guy gets chuckles out of me, but i never actually lol
"Had an uncle who was a clown, when he died all his friends came to the funeral in one car."
Every time Steven Wright walks on stage after Dave Lettermen introduces him, the band plays *"Reelin in the Years* "
I know he didnt write the song. Its _Steely Dan_ ... Just wondering... 🎸
Fucking genius.
@TheSLICKRICK1954 i saw thisd dude live
hes so funny!@
2:13 Thank you
the thing at the end of the title is a date isn't it...
I thought it meant part 1 out of 8 out of 88.
That would have taken awhile to watch...
Last joke was the best...
The pool joke was pretty funny.
Tell me about some people who were here last year.
I take exception to your upload comment "80s comedian Steven Wright." He's still a comedian.
And you’re not...
@@kevinmiddleton8721 But I'll bet you've been a dickhead for years.
After watching alot of Wright's stuff I can see why he was such a big influence on Mitch Hedberg
Yes Faizan, similar mindset. Mitch comes a close second for me - Like a shooting star he burned brightly & then he was gone.
Part 1 out of 8 out of 88 8-part parts!
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
His muttering may have cured my ADD
hermits have no peer pressure, lol
Haha, I got this from the game grumps
Wonder what Dave felt like having a much better comedian on the show as a guest.
He looks a lot like Heath Ledger - his voice, the way he speaks...
Sort of ...like a hybrid of him and pauly Shore on valium
Funniest comic out there
"80's comedian"?
this guy reminds me of buffalo bill from silence of the lambs
Did anyone buy anything today? lol.
He often covers his solar plexus which rather gives the lie to his relaxed delivery, nevertheless he is #1 in my book - sometimes equalled but never surpassed.
Is that physical therapist speak? Or actor speak? ??
@@CocoOPNY Just observant speak. We give so much away without realising.
@@gavinwilshaw2312 He got it by me! Lol ... interesting observations, tho!
@@CocoOPNY Also, Letterman said: "One of the most unique...". No one can be "one of" the most unique because unique comes from "uni" meaning one. Unique is a much abused word here in the UK also.
@@gavinwilshaw2312 At least if you're "the most unique", you don't have to worry about becoming any more uniquer!
@7eventeenSkullz hahahaaaa! You know when you've left a good comment when over a year later people are still making jokes about it :-D
Rare hiccup at 2:31 lol.
@ArosIrwin Indeed, indeed
Steely Dan - Reelin In The Years!
Paul and his band sure played a lotta good shit! :D Still does!
im living on a one way dead end street. i don't even know how i got there.
I thought he was one of those world-famous Swedish comedians.
One of my favorite comics ever!! Brilliant!
1 month free cooler rental!!!
@ArosIrwin love him -thought the same thing
Steven Wright sure was bald-headed at this juncture. There was a time he had all of his hair. Unbelievable that he is bald....kind of like Howie Mandel (the dude who does deal or no deal---the germ-a-phobee)
@Darkez982 Cheers mate haha
i think you mean 'ambivalent' :)
you know he really might be the best...
Letterman doesn't deserve to be in his presence. (Just my opinion)
@pele6922 profanity or polotics
A few great ones toward the end there (I loved the voodoo acupuncturist), but by Wright's standards I thought that was a pretty poor set.
Steve is so inconsistent; he's the only comedian who can deliver a truly brilliant line and follow it up with a real duffer.
@ArosIrwin Put instant coffee in a microwave oven, that should give you the time and energy to watch all of the parts.
he's not totally sure here cus when he is it just f lows