When Vader falls over, the suit automatically sends a message to Palpatine, so he can rush over to Vader as he's lying on the ground, and laugh at him.
I love the stupidity of Darth Vader's suit having a serial number. This implies that the galaxy is filled with other darth vader suits which are just. . . worn by random people. Visit a space retirement home, and it's just a bunch of darth vaders playing shuffleboard
Exactly! Like having a serial number implies that it's part of a series lol so that means there's more Vader suits out there? What? maybe they just use Vader suits across the galaxy to treat people with severe burns/injuries as like a rehabilitative exoskeleton lol
I thought the emperor designed his suit to be the ultimate armour. Turns out he just threw him in a commercial life support suit he bought from space Walmart
@@hungarianbeast Wasn't EU. This was all based on non-supplemental material published by Scholastic, not Bantam or Del Rey. If it was considered C-Canon, it had to be published or produced by specific companies (e.g. LucasArts for canon games). EmPal SuRecon, however, WAS EU. It was "ChanPal SuRecon" until the Empire replaced the Republic.
All of this lore is basically just different variants of “Vader is a crippled old man and his suit is a wheelchair that feeds him applesauce through a straw” and “Vader’s suit is so badass it makes everyone really scared”
He and Obi Wan were aging faster than those shitty Jango Fett clones, with Vader I can get why he was barely human anymore but as shitty as Tatooine is I think its less than ideal living conditions are not enough to explain why Kenobi aged like 40 years in just 2 decades.
@@aristedes9449 except it's less like a wheelchair and more like those iron lungs they used to put polio patients in after their lungs just completely stopped functioning at all. But it also has a tiny little PPK On it so it's not completely worthless in combat
@@aburrito4973 thats actually very funny but makes sense. This is actually a common political trick used between leaders and upper echelon military officers if they're particularly worried about a coup. Arab countries like Saudi Arabia are pretty excessive with this, they keep their military personnel out of the intelligence loop intentionally so the leader has artificial importance which military must rely on and compete for to get political advantages.
5min after blowing up the second DEATHSTAR, IMPERIAL REMNANTS remained it to Emperor Sheev Palpatine Memorial Reconstructive Surgery Centre (notice the re instead er to denote Core Planet Basic which totally a thing and not an excuse for American and British actors)
The 'boots that fit' thing kills me because he has ARTIFICIAL FEET. THEREFORE, SOME ASSHOLE WENT "YEAH, WE NEED TO MAKE BOTH FEET AND BOOTS FOR VADER, LETS MAKE HIS FEET FUCKING BIGGER THAN THE BOOTS AND GIVE HIM FEELING OF THE FEET SO HE CAN *KNOW* HIS SHOES ARE TWO SIZES SMALLER"
@@benjaminborkowski12 Maybe it wasnt that they actually made the feet and boots, but just found them on sale somewhere and couldnt find matching sets at a reasonable price.
This might be my favorite Red Letter Media video. They so perfectly illustrate how militant fans can drain a movie of its power and mystery and wonder by drowning it in meaningless detail and literalism.
The other thing the same kind of "fans" doing is to try to make everything connected. Because in few cases it worked (Alien vs. Predator) they try to do it every time putting every character in one universe. Oh that monster have big claws, this monster have big claws too, "In my head cannon these are the same species." (Aliens and the Mist monster for example.) The only thing they can achieve with this is making the universa smaller and dumber. The same thing happening when someone who only care about the money take over a franchise so we gonna have a new character who is the relative of the old character or a student or something else. And we end up with a franchise what can't grow and slowly start dying meanwhile there will be more movie coming from a dead franchise when it came from the alive one. Not every Terminator movie has to be about time travel, not every Alien movie need to have a character named Ripley.
@@lordvoldemort1561 Do you think anyone would have wrote about Vader waxing his helmet with wudu hide if there weren't legions of fans willing to open their wallets for any tidbits of information about Vader's suit?
"I want a ten mile long spaceship to fly around in!" "Yes, Lord Vader!" "Also, I want boots that fit!" "Sorry my Lord, we don't have the budget for that."
I wonder if this all came from one tongue-in-cheek sequence in one book somewhere, where the author was just poking fun at the fact that the 'real' suit is just a cheap costume, but this wiki editor took the whole thing completely seriously and transcribed it all for future generations.
It's wild how the expanded material has this bizarre obsession with Vader being in constant agony 24/7. "He has needles jammed into his skull and down his spine to read his brain waves. His suit itches and iritates his seared flesh. His breathing feels like constant suffocation. The pain from his robot limbs makes it impossible to get any decent sleep. His helmet is extremely heavy. His shoes are too small. He has a twelve inch catheter for some reason. The emperor's guards beat him up once a week...etc etc etc."
Due to budgetary constraints, he is fed solely on a gruel made from silica gel packets and space beans, which he is allergic to. This gruel is piped directly into his helmet through a hatch on top at a minimum temperature of 62.35 degrees celsius, and fills the interior. Vader must eat all the gruel before he suffers severe burns or drowns. RepMed Vitapaste is a commonly available and cheap nutritionally complete food, and is in fact a part of regular field rations for Imperial troops, but Palpatine vetoed Vader's access to this product, stating it would be "funnier this way".
what an incredible decision to take the series' most badass-looking character and say "actually his suit is a huge piece of shit that beeps constantly for no real reason and he can barely take two steps without falling over"
I love how Emperor Palpatine renamed the surgery center to Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center within like 3 hours of overthrowing the Jedi.
according to the crazy people who understand this stuff the hospital was apparently called "The Chancellor Palpatine surgical Reconstruction Center" so when he took over then only had to change one word.
Darth Vader: "I can't take living with this constant pain anymore, I'm just gonna end it" *opens nightstand dresser, revealing a blaster. He turns the blaster over in his 'gauntlets', feeling both the literal weight of the gun and the figurative weight of his decision. He holds the blaster up to his own temple* Darth Vader: "I'll be with you soon Padme, my love" *he pulls the trigger, and the energy blast immediately deflects off the 'jagged edges' of his helmet landing harmlessly on his 'thick shoulder armor'* Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Just imagine Luke clinging on to the pole whilst getting the “I’m your father speech” only for vader to fucking fall down like a bookshelf and ragdoll down cloud citys tubes
The 952 downvotes make me so happy to think that nearly a thousand people in the last 3 years honestly clicked this to learn something and were angry that it wasted their time.
@@Gustavozxd13 People want it to be canon but still don't consider that Palpatine was cloned during the duration of that universe. The Old Republic is the only good thing to come from EU in my opinion
Luke: “I’ll never join you!” Vader: “If you only knew the power of The Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” Luke: “He told me enough! He told me you can’t even get shoes that fit”
The next Star Wars spinoff movie better be about a stressed out medical droid just trying to run the 'Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction center' under budget, getting deeper into shady practices to cut costs, developing alchoholism to cope, having affairs with colleagues, ignoring his droid children
Not a joke, palpatine likely did it purposefully because he was aware of the rule of two and how things always turn out for the sith. He didnt want his subordinate to kill him and take over as sith lord! ...or they just made Vader because it looked like a cool design and the details came later hahhaha
@@Xvladin ah yes, because george lucas planned out the rule of two and taking over as a sith lord, this is just the creation of book writers who wanted to make vader edgy and tortured but came across incredibly funny
This is Darth Vader. We purposefully built him wrong, as a joke. My face to your lightning style! How do you like it? Please, stop. Vader sucks as a sith lord, his own child could beat him! Well I’m gonna count to three, and if I hear one more friggin’ ‘Nooooo!,’ I’m gonna take his VitaPaste and shove it up his...
They polished Darth Vader's helmet with a special material because they thought if he had a shiny head it would *distract* the supreme emperor of all evil from the various *short-cuts* they took during Vader's *life-saving surgery.*
Some friends recently talked about how Vader is still one of the "most iconic, intimidating villains they've ever seen in movies" and I just remembered this video and had to keep myself from laughing my ass off
Fun Guy I'm sure it fuels the suit's power cells or something disgusting like that. The suit recycles his waste and feeds him back the reclaimed vitamins, by Palpatine's design of course.
Pooping for Vader is pretty simple. A rectal cathodrone model E5-UX1 was surgically implanted by Ubrikkian prototype DD-13 and once inserted, held in place by servo-activated elasto-meric alloy spikes. Elasto-meric alloys are guaranteed corrosion-free for two hundred years, but due to budgetary restrictions the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center had to make the rest of the cathodrone out of Duranium steel which isn't normally used in such devices. As a result, a new one had to be painfully replaced and re-spiked into locked position every 6 months. Once seated at his chamber, the male end of the cathodrone would interface with the female connector on the bottom of his seat, and a 180 degree turn of the seat would lock both connectors and open the suction valve, evacuating the waste into the vacuum of space. This process can be seen in the meditation chamber scene of Empire Strikes Back. It is a testament to Vader's superb ability at multitasking. He dropped a deuce and received a status update from one of his admirals without so much as batting an artificial eye.
The meditation chamber was also equipped with a Xexor-Hikan fecal analysis subsystem which would automatically seal the upper and lower halves of the chamber to contain any explosions caused by dangerous methane build-ups. We are indeed fortunate that the system worked as designed.
I love the “Mike reads a thing to Rich” episodes. RLM could be so much more lazy with content and it’d still be great, makes me appreciate their high effort content even more.
I really really want a day in the life of Vader. Show his morning physical therapy sessions, breakfast of Vita Paste (TM), the Emperor getting bored and deciding to switch off his breathing assistance for 7-8 seconds just for the heck of it, him tripping over one of those little mouse droid things and falling over and having his life alert go off while his chest plate periodically beeped, finally him trying to sleep. It's a better version of Robot Chicken. I'd almost ponder getting Disney + if we got this. Not saying I'd get it, I'd just think about it and then stop thinking about it.
Don't forget the monthly budget meeting with the emperor and senior executive accountants where Vader is denied repairs to the suit due to budget restrictions
Oh Jesus it got even better with this recent Bad Batch when Palpatine was like "you have all the resources you require for Project Necromancer." But there are budget restraints? I just pictured Palpatine tossing a $5 bill at Dr. Hemlock.
Whoever writes this expanded universe shit should consider becoming comedians. Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center" is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time.
Nicolas Charron - Legend of Remnant lmao it’s awful. It’s just a bunch of nerds making up explanations for why Star Wars stuff looked cool back in 1977.
I’m so glad they gave us all this information, where would we be without it… I love how “budgetary restraints” hindered the second-highest ranking member of the GALACTIC EMPIRE that built TWO Death Stars and ran the whole galaxy. But hey, at least they had _woodoo hide_ for his helmet shine!
I’d like to see an entire movie dedicated to the ragtag group of individuals that went on a quest to strike down the woodoo monsters, take their hides, & take said woodoo hides to EmPalSuRecon for Vader’s helmet shine. I think that would be a powerful and fulfilling piece of film!
Interest rates on government debt were MENTAL at the end of the Republic. It was Vader's suit or cutbacks on the social security system, and Palpatine knew that he needed good opinion polls ahead of a senatorial by-election.
yes finally @fuggoogle2554 To be fair they were clones and most of them were size 9. Noone knew James Earl Jones + muscle man in person actor were going to show up.
A lot of it is trying to give explanations for the limitations of the films. Like Vader can't raise his arms high and he walks clumsily because the suit is big and cumbersome for the already tall actor in the film.
@@thebignacho yeh thats not true. If you're wearing shoes that don't fit, you're not suddenly more intimidating because ur feet hurt. You just look like an idiot for not wearing shoes that fit.
@@TetsuDeinonychus I love the expanded universe to the death, and I take this information far more seriously than these two, but hey this video was lots of fun to laugh with. And that's what's important at the end of the day.
Tetsu Deinonychus it’s funny considering how stupid Lucas was. And how much credit Lawrence kasdan deserves for directing empire strikes back. Lucas made Howard the duck
@@lukasp5892 Yeah, I can understand that. But I still find some enjoyment out of it. Besides, this video is full of laughs. How can I not laugh with them? Lol
@@lukasp5892 Thanks dude! And I can agree. And either way, it's always good to laugh at this sort of thing. If anything, if they knew anything about the more interesting stuff the EU had to offer, they would wish they were adapted into film.
Quote from Wookiepedia: Woodoo hide was a material that 2-1B instructed DD-13 medical assistant droid to polish Darth Vader's helmet with, in order to make it shine. This was done to distract Darth Sidious from the various shortcuts that had to be taken when operating on Vader. So they basically tried the old car key jingle trick with Palpatine
I think the golden part there is: we read that woodoo hide was used to polish Darth Vader’s helmet. What’s woodoo hide, though? Let’s look it up. Oh… “woodoo hide is a substance defined by its having-been-used-to-polish-Darth-Vader’s-helmet-type quality.”
There's at least one person out there who not only knows all of this information, but believes George Lucas thought of all of it as he was writing Star Wars.
One person? You just described every entertainment reporter for every major news outlet, and millions of man-child Star Wars fanatics. At least the believing part.
Did you enjoy the EU media any less at the time once Disney decided "it didn't matter" anymore? Canon is an arbitrary distinction that is insidiously intertwined with quasi-perpetual copyright and intellectual property laws. It exists only in your mind You wouldn't have read, watched or played any of the Star Wars EU stuff if you didn't enjoy it at the time, right? It's not as if there were some Star Wars test you were studying for, and now that the EU isn't "canon", you've wasted your time learning meaningless information. Hell, what does canon mean when we can get 3 different "official canon" spider-man movie series in half the time Star Wars has existed?
"Please for the love of God, my Surgical Reconstruction Center is already in several trillion credits in debt due to keeping your stupid dad alive. Please join me."
Can we please get a wacky hospital soap about the underbudgeted Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center and how the droids there have to constantly cheat and find ways to save people with limited funds while distracting Emperor Palpatine from all the shortcuts?
I can imagine an episode recap :- Last time on EmPaul SuRecon: Betty left Carl for Joe, what will Joe do to recover her affections: Dialogue: "I don't love you anymore Carl" Tabitha just came out in front of her parents Dialogue: "I am who I am mom" And, James told Gideon that he was going to propose to Marjorie Dialogue "Marge, will you marry me?" Continuting, ...
@@chiefsosa3348 It's the opposite. Conspiracies, mysteries, puzzles, clues, enigmas, phenomenon etc. are always interesting bc it's the unknown and ppl will always ponder and obsess over those things bc they remain unsolved or unknown. Once a story is told, the mystery is no more and that is boring. Just my opinion.
To this day, I still consider this to be the best RLM video, mostly because Mike laughs like 8 times in it. It's nice to see him drop the deadpan "you laugh at my jokes but I don't laugh at yours" act for once and just be as generous a laugher as Jay and Rich are with him.
This insanity makes it seem like the Emperor didn't even need Vader, or Luke for that matter, and his whole empire was brought down because of his side hobby of enslaving and tormenting fallen Jedi just for his own amusement.
@@Night5225 And gets beat by a desert scavenger who picked up a lightsaber for the first time. Even though hes had years of training from Luke Skywalker and Snoke. Also weares a helmet he doesnt need with a knockoff Vader complex. So its pretty even in the ridiculous department.
No one is talking about how he has a helmet that takes near misses, turns them into hits, and then redirects them into his torso. Like, it was *DESIGNED* to do this.
I just think it's fascinating that they spent so much time, money, and care to make Vader look cool and intimidating in the original trilogy, and then decades later some expanded universe writer spent so much time and care to make Vader seem so miserable and sad lmao
Ahh yes, a confused cripple with anger issues supported by a cheap suit that's constantly itchy, causes slight deafness and is completely dependent on a power button in the middle of the torso. A true dark lord of the Sith.
nma52b I’d now like a cape made of a material known as “SUPER-Asbestos-XX789” written into canon, the backstory being that: a) It was cheap b) Palpatine got off on watching Vader striding around wheezing everywhere
+Helis You would be in pain too, if you knew the truth: God is dead and life is an endless repeating perpetual Hell inhabited by inane, banal retards. Have a nice day.
The best thing I've taken from this video, all these years later, is that Darth Vader was the product of pork-barrel spending, budget cuts, and a megalomaniacal sithlord whose first action upon receiving absolute galactic power is to rename a fucking hospital. I fucking love Star Wars
I love the little annoyances with Vaders suit like the beeping control panel. I wouldn’t be surprised if Palpatine said: “I want there also to be sawdust in his eye that he can never get out.”
That article is a gold mine. Look what I found: "The lightning that lashed Anakin was of a lethal intensity: the energies that Palpatine had previously used to strike Luke were less powerful, intended merely to cause agony and torment. When Anakin seized him, Palpatine intensified his output, with the intention of finishing Luke. These discharges were absorbed by Anakin rather than his son. The remarkable intensity of these final energetic bursts-exceeding the shocks that had tormented Luke-was evident in the way they heated Anakin's bones enough for them to glow visibly through his flesh and clothing."
If his bones became glow sticks, then how the hell did he have the little chit chat with his son after killing Palps?! Your bones being so hot that they glow through your flesh and suit sounds very devastating and painful...
I thought that Jay had typed all the facts up for Mike and Rich and did not show them what he typed when I got to the "Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center", but then I googled it. It's a real thing in the SW universe and no one is willing to wonder why a Sith lord cared that much about a plastic surgery building.
The constant budgetary constraints and lines like "The monitoring panel beeped frequently and _for no reason_ " just make this insanely comedic. The writer must have been super dense if they didn't realize how this sounded.
It's what happens when you have many people writing on a single timeline. You get people who love some characters and hate others. Then the next set of books, "Those characters suck. Build up these characters." Repeat until every being in the galaxy sucks or has shitty equipment half the time, and then is amazing and has the best stuff the other half.
Yup. And then nerdrotic does a super serious video mentioning 10 of the things and it's click bait. I love that this laughs at the nerdrotic video and the lazy EU fanfiction.
@@gebs123 You literally just described the Legacy of the Force books. One star wars book series with three writers, each with their pet characters who shat on the other writer's pet characters.
For me is the fact that every element of the suit only partially works what kills me. His helmet helps him picking sound but works like crap so it also torture him with too many ambient sounds. He could just have a serviceable pair of boots, but no, they are the wrong size! The suit is so horrible, that he would probably be better in that hoverchair. But then again, maybe the hoverchair has random electric spikes that burn his already burned skin and he is constantly nauseated by the wobbly movement. He could have a better hoverchair, but... budget.
This just makes the prequels even more of a joke, it all led up to Anakin being dumped into this piece of shit suit and RepMed Vitapaste. This is what the prequels led up to, their finale. RepMed Vitapaste and the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center.
Palpatine made the mistake of hiring Gleck Goonoo to maintain his budget and the Empire's secretary of finance. using the ancient Sith Macro Economic theory, The Empire managed to loophole tax budgets to fund the Death Star and the Emperor Palpaltine Surgical Reconstruction Center.
In hindsight, that imperial officer who was mocking him in a new hope comes off as a lot more plausible. It's like, you have this clunky, old, creepy dude lumbering around in a suit that is probably siphoning off money to maintain it; funds that could otherwise go toward shit your organization needs. So you start to resent him and every so often call him out on it, but forget to realize that, "oh yeah, underneath all that bullshit is actually a pissed off asshole with psychic powers that can choke me from across the room."
This reminds me of the behind the scene where a production designer asked George Lucas the colour of Yoda's blood. Lucas clearly didn't have the answer and made up the detail on the spot. A lot of questions fans have about the Star War world don't have an answer because the answer literally doesn't exist. Vader's suit is just a cool looking suit
I would spend the necessary 10 years in med school, 4 years in business school, and 20 years in the field just to one day open an Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center, student loans be damned.
Doesn't a serial number imply that there are more suits like this? I want to see a commercial for Darth Vader suits in the next Star Wars with old people and crippled kids in it that all sound like James Earl Jones through their life support mask.
There were indeed more suits like it out there. In fact this model if I'm not mistaken wasn't even uncommon based on legends material and certainly wasn't a high end suit of this type.
@@phillystevesteak6982 If you prefer canon over legends then you have mental issues. Not to mention all Disney has done since getting their hands on things is declare a bunch of stuff no longer canon then pull shit from "legends" as they see fit. In other words, no imagination whatsoever.
I'm mental? It's ridiculous to think there's a bunch of dudes walking around who look just like Vader. "Holy shit run, it's Darth Vader!!" "No, no. You got the wrong guy, I'm Bob Donglesworth. Btw, do you have change for a dollar?"
@@phillystevesteak6982 I'd suggest you take all that up with ole George then. Also you're sitting here acting like you aren't a fuckin mental case as you argue until you're red in the face about whether or not a fictional characters fictional life support suit was a one off or not...
Cant believe Jay was able to just stand still like that in the Vader costume that whole time.
Can't*
@@Michael-Douglas your cool
@@sdawddwtrtr2305 Thanks, I know I am.
@MJ R grate help
@@Michael-Douglas no
"due to budgetary restraints" THEY BUILT TWO DEATH STARS
That's why! LOL
But they couldn't make them resistant to small fighters due to the same bean counters overseeing everything.
they wanted to build 5
IKR? When you're the Emperor, you don't have "budgetary restraints." People either build things for you or they DIE.
Imagine Bill Gates having budget restraints. Now imagine someone a billion times richer having budget restraints.
When Vader falls over, the suit automatically sends a message to Palpatine, so he can rush over to Vader as he's lying on the ground, and laugh at him.
LIFE ALERT
@@a22024 Laugh alert.
And shoot lightning at him, sometimes.
It goes to the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center and they send a space ambulance for him.
And it has poor gas mileage. So it takes longer than it should get to him
I love the stupidity of Darth Vader's suit having a serial number.
This implies that the galaxy is filled with other darth vader suits which are just. . . worn by random people. Visit a space retirement home, and it's just a bunch of darth vaders playing shuffleboard
They all sound exactly like him too
Exactly! Like having a serial number implies that it's part of a series lol so that means there's more Vader suits out there? What? maybe they just use Vader suits across the galaxy to treat people with severe burns/injuries as like a rehabilitative exoskeleton lol
I'm gonna get *E-3778Q-1* tattooed on my ass
I thought the emperor designed his suit to be the ultimate armour. Turns out he just threw him in a commercial life support suit he bought from space Walmart
@@kingsleycy3450 That makes Palpatine seem so comically dickish that I can't help but love him
Vader, " Please Emperor, I am in constant agony due to the shitty design of this suit."
Sheev, "It's stylistically designed to be that way."
+Matthew Dolan Vader: "I think you went too far in a few places."
+archfiendbaramos Sheev:"Well then I have a pair of pantaloons for you...they're stylish."
+Matthew Dolan STAHP ASKING ME WHO I AAAAM!!!!!!!
You cant change that, but we can deminish the effects of it
+Matthew Dolan "Your screams of pain are like poetry. They rhyme with my cackles of laughter. Welcome to the dark side..."
"No... I am your father." *A shocked Luke screams in disbelief, while Vader sucks on his Vitapaste tube*
Kristjan Kangro
*"no I am your father"
Kristjan Kangro *"No... I am your father."
Kristjan Kangro *"No... I am your father."
Kristjan Kangro **"No...I am your father"**
Oof
Order66: Identify all Jedi as traitors
Order67: Rename a hospital after self
66=ff
Friendly fire
Order68: Profit
order 69: fuck somebody so then he gets Rey as his grandchild
I fucking lost it at that part lmao
@@Easterlingofrhun order 70: Put the location of your secret planet on a dagger and give it to some dude or whatever the fuck
This is what happens when 500 books are written about the same small group of people
Exactly! The SW eo is an abomination!
I was going to upvote it but its at 911 so... naw.
It’s so dense
hungarianbeast Finally, someone with a brain 🤝
@@hungarianbeast Wasn't EU. This was all based on non-supplemental material published by Scholastic, not Bantam or Del Rey. If it was considered C-Canon, it had to be published or produced by specific companies (e.g. LucasArts for canon games).
EmPal SuRecon, however, WAS EU. It was "ChanPal SuRecon" until the Empire replaced the Republic.
I hope the year Anakin was burned in lava is known as year 1 BBQ
and the inferior alloy used for his legs was Fragi-Steel
😂🤣😂
They couldn't even afford to use real Woodoo Hide Wax on subsequent maintenance visits, so they switched to the synthetic version: UwU Oil.
Quality joke
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
All of this lore is basically just different variants of “Vader is a crippled old man and his suit is a wheelchair that feeds him applesauce through a straw” and “Vader’s suit is so badass it makes everyone really scared”
It's not mutually exclusive. The suit is literally just a different version of the hover-wheelchair w/ rocket launcher
He wasnt even old, that’s how fucking crippled he was
In episode 4 the dude was just 42 lol
He and Obi Wan were aging faster than those shitty Jango Fett clones, with Vader I can get why he was barely human anymore but as shitty as Tatooine is I think its less than ideal living conditions are not enough to explain why Kenobi aged like 40 years in just 2 decades.
@@aristedes9449 except it's less like a wheelchair and more like those iron lungs they used to put polio patients in after their lungs just completely stopped functioning at all. But it also has a tiny little PPK On it so it's not completely worthless in combat
Gnaeus Sergius Fidenas because there was no actual plan for any of that
I absolutely adore the idea that Palpatine would be distracted by a shiny object.
Palpatine confirmed to be a magpie.
RLM's mythological "shiny object dangled in front of a cat".
@@JeanMarceaux lol
The best part is they were trying to distract Palpatine from the deficiencies emposed by Palpatine 🤣🤣🤣
@@Simp_Zone deficiencies emposed by Palpatine because the Galactic Empire couldn't afford good shoes
Empire:
> *owns 3/4 of the galaxy*
> *budgetary limitations for suit*
Just don't buy him a castle, or buy him a smaller one not next to lava.
UnlimitedEdge pretty sure the limitations are intentional. It’s so he can’t overthrow Palpatine
@@aburrito4973 thats actually very funny but makes sense. This is actually a common political trick used between leaders and upper echelon military officers if they're particularly worried about a coup. Arab countries like Saudi Arabia are pretty excessive with this, they keep their military personnel out of the intelligence loop intentionally so the leader has artificial importance which military must rely on and compete for to get political advantages.
@@TheGoodChap It would if it was that Palpatine wanted to weaken Vader, but the reason stated here is budgetary.
@@masaheimoi Palpatine gave it a small budget, so vader wouldn't get the best suit
Emperor's to-do list, priority items:
1.) Kill all the Jedis
2.) Name plastic surgery hospital after self
3.) ???
4.) Profit!
The Sheev School of Fully Armed and Operational Medical Procedures
5min after blowing up the second DEATHSTAR, IMPERIAL REMNANTS remained it to Emperor Sheev Palpatine Memorial Reconstructive Surgery Centre (notice the re instead er to denote Core Planet Basic which totally a thing and not an excuse for American and British actors)
"Execute order 66 and hospital-naming protocol 3b."
3. Make Rey
The 'boots that fit' thing kills me because he has ARTIFICIAL FEET. THEREFORE, SOME ASSHOLE WENT "YEAH, WE NEED TO MAKE BOTH FEET AND BOOTS FOR VADER, LETS MAKE HIS FEET FUCKING BIGGER THAN THE BOOTS AND GIVE HIM FEELING OF THE FEET SO HE CAN *KNOW* HIS SHOES ARE TWO SIZES SMALLER"
Palpy was feeling very petty that day
It was because of budgetary restraints
@@bray7934 Bigger Boots = more material = more expensive. It simply wasn't in the Budget, the random beeping buttons already are expensive
@@benjaminborkowski12
Maybe it wasnt that they actually made the feet and boots, but just found them on sale somewhere and couldnt find matching sets at a reasonable price.
THE CRUELTY KNOWS NO END
This might be my favorite Red Letter Media video. They so perfectly illustrate how militant fans can drain a movie of its power and mystery and wonder by drowning it in meaningless detail and literalism.
They made the point Rian Johnson tried to make about Fandom- except these guys made it much more tactfully. And their jokes landed.
this is a great starting point for new viewers.
The other thing the same kind of "fans" doing is to try to make everything connected. Because in few cases it worked (Alien vs. Predator) they try to do it every time putting every character in one universe. Oh that monster have big claws, this monster have big claws too, "In my head cannon these are the same species." (Aliens and the Mist monster for example.)
The only thing they can achieve with this is making the universa smaller and dumber. The same thing happening when someone who only care about the money take over a franchise so we gonna have a new character who is the relative of the old character or a student or something else. And we end up with a franchise what can't grow and slowly start dying meanwhile there will be more movie coming from a dead franchise when it came from the alive one.
Not every Terminator movie has to be about time travel, not every Alien movie need to have a character named Ripley.
You are aware that all those details read out in the video are not made up by fans, right...?
@@lordvoldemort1561 Do you think anyone would have wrote about Vader waxing his helmet with wudu hide if there weren't legions of fans willing to open their wallets for any tidbits of information about Vader's suit?
We can afford a death star but not boots that fit
budget cuts
.
hey, boots arent cheap
it's the ultimate sacrifice for the empire!
Lmao budget cuts are something that should never come up in Star Wars
"I want a ten mile long spaceship to fly around in!"
"Yes, Lord Vader!"
"Also, I want boots that fit!"
"Sorry my Lord, we don't have the budget for that."
"Execute upvote 666"
Vader - "Nnnnnnoooooooooooo!"
No wonder he stayed on the dark side: "Do not underestimate the pain in my legs".
Maybe that's why the have no railings on their catwalks
I wonder if this all came from one tongue-in-cheek sequence in one book somewhere, where the author was just poking fun at the fact that the 'real' suit is just a cheap costume, but this wiki editor took the whole thing completely seriously and transcribed it all for future generations.
And that's why LOTR is the better film trilogy. Because Morgoth never imposed budgetary limitations on Sauron's armor.
This is like watching SpongeBob as a kid and then learning the names and histories of the manufacturers behind Squidward’s tiki head house
It's wild how the expanded material has this bizarre obsession with Vader being in constant agony 24/7.
"He has needles jammed into his skull and down his spine to read his brain waves. His suit itches and iritates his seared flesh. His breathing feels like constant suffocation. The pain from his robot limbs makes it impossible to get any decent sleep. His helmet is extremely heavy. His shoes are too small. He has a twelve inch catheter for some reason. The emperor's guards beat him up once a week...etc etc etc."
It helps with the shallow Jesus parallels.
Due to budgetary constraints, he is fed solely on a gruel made from silica gel packets and space beans, which he is allergic to. This gruel is piped directly into his helmet through a hatch on top at a minimum temperature of 62.35 degrees celsius, and fills the interior. Vader must eat all the gruel before he suffers severe burns or drowns. RepMed Vitapaste is a commonly available and cheap nutritionally complete food, and is in fact a part of regular field rations for Imperial troops, but Palpatine vetoed Vader's access to this product, stating it would be "funnier this way".
@@bluegum6438 This comment made me laugh so much i fell out of my chair.
@@bluegum6438 LMFAOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOO ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
@@mr.washingtonsbuddy.8454 What did bluegum say? I'm not seeing his comment for some odd reason.
what an incredible decision to take the series' most badass-looking character and say "actually his suit is a huge piece of shit that beeps constantly for no real reason and he can barely take two steps without falling over"
It could also just be the cumulative effect of a bunch of different Extended Universe writers trying to come up with their own little quirks.
This but unironically
And wasn't even custom built apparently because of cost issues? FUCKING WHAT!?
Geeeee8 they built the Death Star lol
No wonder they have money issues
Shit like this is why Star Wars Legends sucked so much ass.
I love how Emperor Palpatine renamed the surgery center to Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center within like 3 hours of overthrowing the Jedi.
He must have had a field day the first week of ruling the galaxy naming as much shit as he could after himself
No, it wasn't an existing center renamed, he force-willed it into existence almost immediately after being named Emperor.
Isn;t he badly disfigured himself?
according to the crazy people who understand this stuff the hospital was apparently called "The Chancellor Palpatine surgical Reconstruction Center" so when he took over then only had to change one word.
@@tachikoma805 now canon by proxy
Darth Vader: "I can't take living with this constant pain anymore, I'm just gonna end it"
*opens nightstand dresser, revealing a blaster. He turns the blaster over in his 'gauntlets', feeling both the literal weight of the gun and the figurative weight of his decision. He holds the blaster up to his own temple*
Darth Vader: "I'll be with you soon Padme, my love"
*he pulls the trigger, and the energy blast immediately deflects off the 'jagged edges' of his helmet landing harmlessly on his 'thick shoulder armor'*
Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
“Pe-chieeeeew!”
* quiet sobbing *
Do it!!
Then it bounces all over the walls and kills a random officer.
Then he shuffles across the floor to grab his lightsaber and the static shock shorts out his life support, killing him.
@@Double-R-Nothing that random officer gets to meet with padme and live with her forever and anakin gets cucked spiritually
My favorite quote: " it means something to someone"
Santiago Munez The motto in the writers room that created the EU.
>builds 2 small moons of metal material
>cant afford man sized suit
Kyle P. That's where the budget went!
Not. Even. Shoes.
That's no moon... That's a battle station.
This. When you're the Emperor, you don't have "budgetary restraints." People either build things for you or they DIE.
It’s a great advantage. He’s always pissed so he’s always at peak power.
At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
+pulser0 Does Vader pay his medical bills by selling chocolate bars?
+Holly Is Weak Wood Chocolate? Did you say..._chocolate?_
***** You've been turned by the dark side. Come back to milk chocolate!
+pulser0 How could they laugh, when I was feeling such pain?
+pulser0 Still seems like heaven compared to wearing Darth Vader's suit.
Just imagine Luke clinging on to the pole whilst getting the “I’m your father speech” only for vader to fucking fall down like a bookshelf and ragdoll down cloud citys tubes
Whilst GMOD collision sounds play
Reminds me of how Vader's duel in Splinter of the Mind's Eye ended.
"usu kai ken" in Japanese would be 薄貝剣, translates as "thin shellfish sword".
Rich Evans, a man of many, many talents.
You've gotta be kidding me
Imagine the Cloud City lunch he had with Han Solo, sitting silently, the occasional slurping noise as he has his RepMed Vitapaste
Kieran Meechan that sounds like it would be some sort of robot chicken sketch lol
Don't forget the beeping.
I am disappointed I thought he would be having the Penne Alla'Arrabiatta
Manic doesn’t Vader actually try to use a straw through his helmet in their sketch?
@@MrTonyBarzini yeah because even robot chicken knew that was too stupid of an explanation.
The 952 downvotes make me so happy to think that nearly a thousand people in the last 3 years honestly clicked this to learn something and were angry that it wasted their time.
That, or EU Soyboys that love the EU and got offended by this
Why would they be mad, they read the information.
It's pretty unfortunate that there's some real good stuff in the EU that is just endlessly showered with crap
Rudy Bernardino how come I read “European Union Soyboys”
@@Gustavozxd13 People want it to be canon but still don't consider that Palpatine was cloned during the duration of that universe. The Old Republic is the only good thing to come from EU in my opinion
I appreciate the subtle foreshadowing of the “EmPal SuRecon,” all leading up to one of the best things I’ve ever heard.
Luke: “I’ll never join you!”
Vader: “If you only knew the power of The Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”
Luke: “He told me enough! He told me you can’t even get shoes that fit”
Vader: Ok listen here you little shit
🤣🤣🤣
"That's why yo shoes raggedy, that's why yo mama dead"
The next Star Wars spinoff movie better be about a stressed out medical droid just trying to run the 'Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction center' under budget, getting deeper into shady practices to cut costs, developing alchoholism to cope, having affairs with colleagues, ignoring his droid children
Scrubs, season 10...right there.
It should be about Oomlah Gumah Gagh
Directed by Adam Sandler
"Reconstruction" a film by Lars van Trier
This is a great concept and already more thought out than ‘The Last Jedi’ was.
They forgot to mention that Palpatine filled his boots with sand
I believe that
It's course and rough and gets everywhere
Vader hates sand and lost to luke who is from tattoine a sand planet
And also scorpions. Just to be sure.
I'm sure he had small pipes streaming sand into his underwear constantly.
I'm dead. They built Vader wrong as a joke.
Not a joke, palpatine likely did it purposefully because he was aware of the rule of two and how things always turn out for the sith. He didnt want his subordinate to kill him and take over as sith lord!
...or they just made Vader because it looked like a cool design and the details came later hahhaha
@@Xvladin ah yes, because george lucas planned out the rule of two and taking over as a sith lord, this is just the creation of book writers who wanted to make vader edgy and tortured but came across incredibly funny
This is Darth Vader. We purposefully built him wrong, as a joke.
My face to your lightning style! How do you like it?
Please, stop. Vader sucks as a sith lord, his own child could beat him!
Well I’m gonna count to three, and if I hear one more friggin’ ‘Nooooo!,’ I’m gonna take his VitaPaste and shove it up his...
@@piercecampbell-casey5718 I'm burning, making me the victor.
They polished Darth Vader's helmet with a special material because they thought if he had a shiny head it would *distract* the supreme emperor of all evil from the various *short-cuts* they took during Vader's *life-saving surgery.*
Some friends recently talked about how Vader is still one of the "most iconic, intimidating villains they've ever seen in movies" and I just remembered this video and had to keep myself from laughing my ass off
yeah because your friend was talking about “in movies” while you somehow managed to take the stuff in this video seriously
@@Dorian-_-Gray it's because the video was funny stupid
@@Dorian-_-Gray it just goes to show how easily stuff like this absolutely can ruin good characters
He was until the Prequels and now he's just a bitch in a suit lol
@@RM22201When it's out of context like this, yeah. But in the context of the novels where its exploring his pain and misery its more impactful.
What I really took away from this was that during any given scene, Darth Vader could be slurping down some baby food. Just suckin' on that tube.
Protein! I need protein!
...to regrow my rotting skin
that explains alot actually, what we thought was the sound of him breathing, was actually the noise he made when sucking the straw in his mask...
Damn sith health care doughnut hole. You'd think Darth Vader dark lord of the sith would have full coverage.
Lucas could release another "special edition" where they dub in some soda straw slurp sounds for Vader during especially serious moments.
Fun Guy I'm sure it fuels the suit's power cells or something disgusting like that. The suit recycles his waste and feeds him back the reclaimed vitamins, by Palpatine's design of course.
Now we know why he just choked everybody that complained to him about their working conditions.
This. This comment right here.
Don't bring your HR complaints to the Lord of the Sith.
Listen punk you’re not the one stuck in a giant coffin forced to eat rep med vitapaste for the rest of your life
Darth "union buster" Vader
@@sasaki999pro ahaaaaaa the crazy vader fangirl nurse
I'm sure someone out there is mad that Mike and Rich aren't taking all this vital information seriously.
Some of them are in the comments.
They lost me at Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction
"I guess BBY is a year?"
Yeah, it stands for "Before Baby Yoda"
I was born with glass bonesa and paper skin. Every night I lay awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep... And then the beeping starts.
+Shanack LOL
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Is that from Spongebob?
Shanack you should visit emperor palpatine's reconstructive surgery center
+Shanack
But luckily I'm able to keep myself alive by selling... RepMedVitaPaste
Pooping for Vader is pretty simple. A rectal cathodrone model E5-UX1 was surgically implanted by Ubrikkian prototype DD-13 and once inserted, held in place by servo-activated elasto-meric alloy spikes. Elasto-meric alloys are guaranteed corrosion-free for two hundred years, but due to budgetary restrictions the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center had to make the rest of the cathodrone out of Duranium steel which isn't normally used in such devices. As a result, a new one had to be painfully replaced and re-spiked into locked position every 6 months.
Once seated at his chamber, the male end of the cathodrone would interface with the female connector on the bottom of his seat, and a 180 degree turn of the seat would lock both connectors and open the suction valve, evacuating the waste into the vacuum of space. This process can be seen in the meditation chamber scene of Empire Strikes Back. It is a testament to Vader's superb ability at multitasking. He dropped a deuce and received a status update from one of his admirals without so much as batting an artificial eye.
This is genius
MetalSlugzMaster was it installed in 19xxb?
This comment made my day
System509 I've never so much as glimpsed at it. This episode alone is all the inspiration needed.
The meditation chamber was also equipped with a Xexor-Hikan fecal analysis subsystem which would automatically seal the upper and lower halves of the chamber to contain any explosions caused by dangerous methane build-ups. We are indeed fortunate that the system worked as designed.
I love the “Mike reads a thing to Rich” episodes. RLM could be so much more lazy with content and it’d still be great, makes me appreciate their high effort content even more.
I really really want a day in the life of Vader. Show his morning physical therapy sessions, breakfast of Vita Paste (TM), the Emperor getting bored and deciding to switch off his breathing assistance for 7-8 seconds just for the heck of it, him tripping over one of those little mouse droid things and falling over and having his life alert go off while his chest plate periodically beeped, finally him trying to sleep.
It's a better version of Robot Chicken. I'd almost ponder getting Disney + if we got this. Not saying I'd get it, I'd just think about it and then stop thinking about it.
Don't forget the monthly budget meeting with the emperor and senior executive accountants where Vader is denied repairs to the suit due to budget restrictions
@@Bradenhandley that is when Vader's search history starts including "proxy" and "VPN".
Oh Jesus it got even better with this recent Bad Batch when Palpatine was like "you have all the resources you require for Project Necromancer."
But there are budget restraints? I just pictured Palpatine tossing a $5 bill at Dr. Hemlock.
Palpatine distracted by Vader's shiny helmet.
+midnightmosesuk Apparently the droid's plan worked fucking flawlessly.
+Charles R
Until Vader crushed everything in the room.
The plan to trick Palpatine still worked. Vader just kinda broke everything because that's just what he does.
+Charles R
Yes. It worked, but the droid still lost it's "life".
TheCockeyez Hey, it happens. Just ask every Imperial admiral.
Whoever writes this expanded universe shit should consider becoming comedians. Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center" is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time.
Admittedly, that IS funny.
But in my opinion,
The Expanded Universe is AWESOME.
Certainly better than the new films.
Nicolas Charron - Legend of Remnant nigga he commented this 2 years ago why are you replying now?
You know that whoever wrote that was 100% serious
Nicolas Charron - Legend of Remnant lmao it’s awful. It’s just a bunch of nerds making up explanations for why Star Wars stuff looked cool back in 1977.
@@brunocaboclo7973 because thesd EU soyboys do anything to defend the shit that is EU, still, funk disney Star wars
I’m so glad they gave us all this information, where would we be without it… I love how “budgetary restraints” hindered the second-highest ranking member of the GALACTIC EMPIRE that built TWO Death Stars and ran the whole galaxy. But hey, at least they had _woodoo hide_ for his helmet shine!
I’d like to see an entire movie dedicated to the ragtag group of individuals that went on a quest to strike down the woodoo monsters, take their hides, & take said woodoo hides to EmPalSuRecon for Vader’s helmet shine. I think that would be a powerful and fulfilling piece of film!
We’ve manufactured 70 trillion boots this year. But not even one pair can fit Lord Vader’s feet. Oh well.
Death Stars are expensive
Interest rates on government debt were MENTAL at the end of the Republic. It was Vader's suit or cutbacks on the social security system, and Palpatine knew that he needed good opinion polls ahead of a senatorial by-election.
yes finally
@fuggoogle2554 To be fair they were clones and most of them were size 9. Noone knew James Earl Jones + muscle man in person actor were going to show up.
I’m sorry but the fact that they described the hospital where he stayed and the exact machines used on him is endlessly funny
My life is complete knowing Vader stayed at the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center.
Darth Vader's suit... it's a torture device FOR THE MODERN AGE...
Neal X Underrated comment.
Han Solo how are you here? You're dead
Best of the worst reference...clever girl.
+Han Solo
Tell that to Kanjiklub!
Neal X
Read this and DIED! OMFG, DEAD! I bet that's a helluva way to live.
Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center
***** well... i'm not sure what you're talking about... i'm old.
***** That's a fact!
O hey Palpie, what's up?
blueshit199 Hey JC, just listening to some Tay Sway.
+Palpy most underrated comment
This is what happens when the details are more important than the character.
this makes vader literally the least menacing villain i’ve seen
That's modern villains for you
A lot of it is trying to give explanations for the limitations of the films. Like Vader can't raise his arms high and he walks clumsily because the suit is big and cumbersome for the already tall actor in the film.
Glass
It makes him scarier imo in the context of the films. Someone in constant pain is more volatile and dangerous
@@thebignacho yeh thats not true. If you're wearing shoes that don't fit, you're not suddenly more intimidating because ur feet hurt. You just look like an idiot for not wearing shoes that fit.
This video is literally just Mike reading Wookiepedia entries while Rich Evans laughs. That's it. And it's brilliant
I wish they'd do more.
@@TetsuDeinonychus I love the expanded universe to the death, and I take this information far more seriously than these two, but hey this video was lots of fun to laugh with. And that's what's important at the end of the day.
Tetsu Deinonychus it’s funny considering how stupid Lucas was. And how much credit Lawrence kasdan deserves for directing empire strikes back. Lucas made Howard the duck
@@lukasp5892 Yeah, I can understand that. But I still find some enjoyment out of it. Besides, this video is full of laughs. How can I not laugh with them? Lol
@@lukasp5892 Thanks dude! And I can agree. And either way, it's always good to laugh at this sort of thing. If anything, if they knew anything about the more interesting stuff the EU had to offer, they would wish they were adapted into film.
Vader just standing there while they roast him for 25 minutes
That’s nothing new for him
After having Mustafar roast him, not much bothers him anymore.
wah wah
I will let myself out now.
could be a Force projection. that would make more sense.
Fists clenched
He was just surfing facebook on his eye screens.
Quote from Wookiepedia:
Woodoo hide was a material that 2-1B instructed DD-13 medical assistant droid to polish Darth Vader's helmet with, in order to make it shine. This was done to distract Darth Sidious from the various shortcuts that had to be taken when operating on Vader.
So they basically tried the old car key jingle trick with Palpatine
I think the golden part there is: we read that woodoo hide was used to polish Darth Vader’s helmet. What’s woodoo hide, though? Let’s look it up. Oh… “woodoo hide is a substance defined by its having-been-used-to-polish-Darth-Vader’s-helmet-type quality.”
@@Dorian-_-Gray Woodoos I think are like dodo birds from tatooine.
There's at least one person out there who not only knows all of this information, but believes George Lucas thought of all of it as he was writing Star Wars.
I feel sorry for that person.
@@EazyDoor dont weep for he stupid you will be crying all the time, just like our homie Darth Elder
Or thinks that George Lucas *should* have thought of all of it.
One person? You just described every entertainment reporter for every major news outlet, and millions of man-child Star Wars fanatics. At least the believing part.
Did you enjoy the EU media any less at the time once Disney decided "it didn't matter" anymore?
Canon is an arbitrary distinction that is insidiously intertwined with quasi-perpetual copyright and intellectual property laws.
It exists only in your mind
You wouldn't have read, watched or played any of the Star Wars EU stuff if you didn't enjoy it at the time, right? It's not as if there were some Star Wars test you were studying for, and now that the EU isn't "canon", you've wasted your time learning meaningless information.
Hell, what does canon mean when we can get 3 different "official canon" spider-man movie series in half the time Star Wars has existed?
New show for Disney +
.... 'Scrubs' style show set in the Emperor Palatine Surgical Reconstruction Center...
Doug, why did the patient die? I don't know Darth Kelso, she was sad?
With Darth vader as Cox and Palpatine as Kelso due to budgetary restraints for new personnel
The Lead physician can be played by Jabbas little mate from Jedi
I can't do this all on my own, no, I'm no Jedi Master
They had an episode where the janitor was chewy
Maybe Palpatine tried to recruit Luke because the maintenance costs of Vader were becoming too expensive? =)
"Please for the love of God, my Surgical Reconstruction Center is already in several trillion credits in debt due to keeping your stupid dad alive. Please join me."
"Goddamit, just come over to the dark side, otherwise the bank forecloses on EmpSurRecCon"
What palpatine really needed was an accountant to keep his finances in ckeck (looking at you two death stars)
He only wanted Luke to kill Vader so he could collect the insurance on the suit.
Bailey Wattron Probably because Palpatine altered the policy just to fuck with him
The idea that the Emperor deliberately imposed budget cuts on Vader's suit is just so breathtakingly dumb, I love it.
Every time I remember that "BBY" stands for "Before Battle of Yavin" for the dating in Star Wars makes me roll my eyes so fuckin hard
Can we just get a shitty sitcom of Darth Vader learning to use his suit and run the empire?
And we get a laugh track every time Vader kills someone.
"Believe it or not..."
I'm pretty sure *Robot Chicken* tackled that one multiple times.
Bazinga! young padawan... *INCESSANT LAUGHING*
Can we please get a wacky hospital soap about the underbudgeted Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center and how the droids there have to constantly cheat and find ways to save people with limited funds while distracting Emperor Palpatine from all the shortcuts?
That'd be so much better than solo, I could imagine that being fucking hilarious
I can imagine an episode recap :-
Last time on EmPaul SuRecon:
Betty left Carl for Joe, what will Joe do to recover her affections:
Dialogue: "I don't love you anymore Carl"
Tabitha just came out in front of her parents
Dialogue: "I am who I am mom"
And, James told Gideon that he was going to propose to Marjorie
Dialogue "Marge, will you marry me?"
Continuting, ...
I love how Mike literally printed off a wookiepedia article onto paper
Them giving Mike shit for using paper is one of my favorite things.
10:14 Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center
20:21 “Budgetary Restraints”
Best parts lmao
Palpy was lining his own damn pockets!
Thank you
They spent all the money on the sign above the building and new letterheads
Those necrotic flesh wipes really add to the lore.
"I might have gone too far in some places"
Remember kids, an enthralling mystery is better than an asinine answer.
That's basically my feelings about the prequels, in general.
Show, don't tell. Let the audience figure it out. lol
Leaving things vague is boringg
Tolkien believed that as well. Basically.
@@chiefsosa3348 It's the opposite. Conspiracies, mysteries, puzzles, clues, enigmas, phenomenon etc. are always interesting bc it's the unknown and ppl will always ponder and obsess over those things bc they remain unsolved or unknown. Once a story is told, the mystery is no more and that is boring. Just my opinion.
To this day, I still consider this to be the best RLM video, mostly because Mike laughs like 8 times in it. It's nice to see him drop the deadpan "you laugh at my jokes but I don't laugh at yours" act for once and just be as generous a laugher as Jay and Rich are with him.
This insanity makes it seem like the Emperor didn't even need Vader, or Luke for that matter, and his whole empire was brought down because of his side hobby of enslaving and tormenting fallen Jedi just for his own amusement.
And Jar-Jar Abrams just made it official canon.
And budgetary restraints.
Poor palpatine never counted on Vader discovering insulated padding
Canonically, Palpatine died because he was too distracted over a shiny helmet.
cant believe disney threw out all this amazing lore
they haven't really replaced it with anything better
are ye jokin at least kylo’s shoes fit
@@Night5225 And gets beat by a desert scavenger who picked up a lightsaber for the first time. Even though hes had years of training from Luke Skywalker and Snoke. Also weares a helmet he doesnt need with a knockoff Vader complex. So its pretty even in the ridiculous department.
@@travisadams6279 eu was trash
@@travisadams6279 wears a helmet he doesn't need, you don't know what helmets are for
How many suits were made that they would need a serial number?
I picture Palpatine mentoring several little darths that die too young. Kind of like Bruce Wayne's little ongoing Robin project.
No one is talking about how he has a helmet that takes near misses, turns them into hits, and then redirects them into his torso. Like, it was *DESIGNED* to do this.
it was stylistically designed to be that way...
@@tehdii But we can dimish the effects of it.
I just think it's fascinating that they spent so much time, money, and care to make Vader look cool and intimidating in the original trilogy, and then decades later some expanded universe writer spent so much time and care to make Vader seem so miserable and sad lmao
Ahh yes, a confused cripple with anger issues supported by a cheap suit that's constantly itchy, causes slight deafness and is completely dependent on a power button in the middle of the torso. A true dark lord of the Sith.
The anger issues stuff is a good thing for a Sith Lord though... Pretty much a prerequisite...
HEY GO FUCK YOURSELF.
I'm surprised they didn't say his cape was made of Super Asbestos.
nma52b
I’d now like a cape made of a material known as “SUPER-Asbestos-XX789” written into canon, the backstory being that:
a) It was cheap
b) Palpatine got off on watching Vader striding around wheezing everywhere
Rich seems like he's perpetually in pain.
+Helis He wants to scream, but he can only laugh. That's why it's so high-pitched.
+Helis It's on account of his supportive DuraSteel(tm) armor
+Helis You would be in pain too, if you knew the truth: God is dead and life is an endless repeating perpetual Hell inhabited by inane, banal retards. Have a nice day.
+Helis Why doesn't he just shave his head? it would look so much better
Beauty is pain. It takes years to look that good.
The best thing I've taken from this video, all these years later, is that Darth Vader was the product of pork-barrel spending, budget cuts, and a megalomaniacal sithlord whose first action upon receiving absolute galactic power is to rename a fucking hospital. I fucking love Star Wars
I love the little annoyances with Vaders suit like the beeping control panel. I wouldn’t be surprised if Palpatine said:
“I want there also to be sawdust in his eye that he can never get out.”
"A new more advanced and more comfortable suit was designed but due to budgetary concerns..." OMFG i couldnt hold myself either hahahahahaha
That article is a gold mine. Look what I found:
"The lightning that lashed Anakin was of a lethal intensity: the energies that Palpatine had previously used to strike Luke were less powerful, intended merely to cause agony and torment. When Anakin seized him, Palpatine intensified his output, with the intention of finishing Luke. These discharges were absorbed by Anakin rather than his son. The remarkable intensity of these final energetic bursts-exceeding the shocks that had tormented Luke-was evident in the way they heated Anakin's bones enough for them to glow visibly through his flesh and clothing."
If his bones became glow sticks, then how the hell did he have the little chit chat with his son after killing Palps?! Your bones being so hot that they glow through your flesh and suit sounds very devastating and painful...
+Firebert More specifically, a force based analgesic heat rub. Basically it's extra strength space Ben Gay, but we can just call it Force Gel.
This makes zero fucking sense
This is still one of the funniest videos I've ever seen
Why haven't they made this a series? I wanna hear more of Rich reacting to Mike reading wookieepedia articles
No need, this evolved into the even better Nerd Crew
The black void is now here
I really wanted him to read the "Most Confortable Chair in the galaxy" article.
Jerry Springer Show list, Death Metal band names, and Cheap Horror movies list are the continuation.
''That means something to somebody''
Many Bothans died to bring us this information....
Many Bothans was a stand up dude. even survived the singularity!
His entire body also always itched
“They tried to impregnate spirituality itself with their evil”
I love how Mike breaks at that one and quickly tries to get it back together 9:22
a true professional
I thought that Jay had typed all the facts up for Mike and Rich and did not show them what he typed when I got to the "Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center", but then I googled it. It's a real thing in the SW universe and no one is willing to wonder why a Sith lord cared that much about a plastic surgery building.
Look at his face!
Just because he's evil doesn't mean the employee benefits have to be lousy.
The constant budgetary constraints and lines like "The monitoring panel beeped frequently and _for no reason_ " just make this insanely comedic. The writer must have been super dense if they didn't realize how this sounded.
It's what happens when you have many people writing on a single timeline. You get people who love some characters and hate others. Then the next set of books, "Those characters suck. Build up these characters." Repeat until every being in the galaxy sucks or has shitty equipment half the time, and then is amazing and has the best stuff the other half.
Yup.
And then nerdrotic does a super serious video mentioning 10 of the things and it's click bait.
I love that this laughs at the nerdrotic video and the lazy EU fanfiction.
@@krat2242 Did Nerdrotic really do that? If so, that guy's even dumber than I thought.
@@gebs123 You literally just described the Legacy of the Force books. One star wars book series with three writers, each with their pet characters who shat on the other writer's pet characters.
For me is the fact that every element of the suit only partially works what kills me. His helmet helps him picking sound but works like crap so it also torture him with too many ambient sounds. He could just have a serviceable pair of boots, but no, they are the wrong size!
The suit is so horrible, that he would probably be better in that hoverchair. But then again, maybe the hoverchair has random electric spikes that burn his already burned skin and he is constantly nauseated by the wobbly movement. He could have a better hoverchair, but... budget.
This just makes the prequels even more of a joke, it all led up to Anakin being dumped into this piece of shit suit and RepMed Vitapaste.
This is what the prequels led up to, their finale.
RepMed Vitapaste and the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center.
It's so dense.
+Tales of The Uninspired every single image has so many things going on.....
That about the size of it
Palpatine made the mistake of hiring Gleck Goonoo to maintain his budget and the Empire's secretary of finance. using the ancient Sith Macro Economic theory, The Empire managed to loophole tax budgets to fund the Death Star and the Emperor Palpaltine Surgical Reconstruction Center.
@James Moseley Dude! I was eating while reading your hilarious comment, I almost choked to death !!!
Palp voice “This must have been shined with woodoo hide. I am most impressed”
Proceeds to name the NEXT surgical center after the chopper droid
"that way he'll never want to leave me" I love the idea of Palpatine being an abusive boyfriend
Like he isn’t?
Actually, like any of the force users aren’t?
I mean he's basically an abusive boss
In hindsight, that imperial officer who was mocking him in a new hope comes off as a lot more plausible. It's like, you have this clunky, old, creepy dude lumbering around in a suit that is probably siphoning off money to maintain it; funds that could otherwise go toward shit your organization needs. So you start to resent him and every so often call him out on it, but forget to realize that, "oh yeah, underneath all that bullshit is actually a pissed off asshole with psychic powers that can choke me from across the room."
Being Vader sounds like a fucking living nightmare. My god he just wants to die.
same tbh
That's the idea. The suit was specifically designed by Sidious to torture him.
Now we know why he held back against Luke.
DanTheMan51632 not even close to the reason why
Explains the anger issues.
i like how in legends it was basically a bunch of different writers adding crap in crap with disregard for each other
You just summed up Marvel *AND* DC comics in a nutshell my friend.
This reminds me of the behind the scene where a production designer asked George Lucas the colour of Yoda's blood. Lucas clearly didn't have the answer and made up the detail on the spot. A lot of questions fans have about the Star War world don't have an answer because the answer literally doesn't exist. Vader's suit is just a cool looking suit
I would spend the necessary 10 years in med school, 4 years in business school, and 20 years in the field just to one day open an Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center, student loans be damned.
Dew it
Doesn't a serial number imply that there are more suits like this? I want to see a commercial for Darth Vader suits in the next Star Wars with old people and crippled kids in it that all sound like James Earl Jones through their life support mask.
There were indeed more suits like it out there. In fact this model if I'm not mistaken wasn't even uncommon based on legends material and certainly wasn't a high end suit of this type.
@@competetodefeat4610 wow that's unbelievably stupid. Probably a good thing that's not cannon afterall
@@phillystevesteak6982 If you prefer canon over legends then you have mental issues. Not to mention all Disney has done since getting their hands on things is declare a bunch of stuff no longer canon then pull shit from "legends" as they see fit. In other words, no imagination whatsoever.
I'm mental? It's ridiculous to think there's a bunch of dudes walking around who look just like Vader. "Holy shit run, it's Darth Vader!!" "No, no. You got the wrong guy, I'm Bob Donglesworth. Btw, do you have change for a dollar?"
@@phillystevesteak6982 I'd suggest you take all that up with ole George then. Also you're sitting here acting like you aren't a fuckin mental case as you argue until you're red in the face about whether or not a fictional characters fictional life support suit was a one off or not...
After having watched every RLM video multiple times I must come to the conclusion that this one is the best.
This one and the terminator scientist man one. Hilarious 😂 nerd crew was also amazing. Wish they made more of this kind of stuff these days
the second roast of anakin
It sounds like you could defeat Vader by just knocking him over.
Or just by waiting for him to fall over by himself.
You just gotta set up a thin line of string at the entrance of a doorway and let nature take its course
When Vader was inpecting his fleet at the beginning of Empire, he thought " This is why I can´t have shoes that fit"
"Due to budget restraints" is code for fucking with Anakin for shits and giggles.
"It's about plastisteel and that's what's so powerful about it." - Gabla Butit 17 BBA