Supporting someone who is questioning their gender

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
  • When someone you love is questioning their gender, there's just as much for you to learn as there is for them to explore.
    In this video I give my recommendations for how to best support a friend, family member, child, partner, or loved one who is questioning their gender. In addition, I have provided a few links to additional reading and resources below:
    Understanding Gender
    www.genderspec...
    8 Tips for Questioning Gender
    everydayfeminis...
    Affirming Parenting and Family Strategies
    www.genderspec...
    Family Acceptance Project
    familyproject.s...
    PFLAG
    www.pflag.org/
    Questions about Gender Identity and Being Transgender that you were too Embarrassed to Ask
    www.vox.com/201...
    The Gender Tag Project Playlist
    • The Gender Tag Project
    Become a patron on Patreon:
    / awylde
    --
    For professional and booking inquiries:
    contact@awylde.com
    Find me here:
    Website: awylde.com
    Twitter: / awylde_
    Facebook: / awylde
    Tumblr: / everydaygay
    Writing Blog: / awyldepoetry
    Instagram: @ashleywylde
    Filming and production gear:
    Canon Rebel T3 Camera
    www.amazon.com/...
    Lighting Ever LED strip lights
    www.amazon.com/...
    LimoStudios lighting kit
    www.amazon.com/...
    Targus tripod
    www.amazon.com/...
    PNY Elite Performance SD card
    www.amazon.com/...
    Help us caption & translate this video!
    amara.org/v/N0Ig/

КОМЕНТАРІ • 71

  • @maddiekuhl2957
    @maddiekuhl2957 6 років тому +113

    I found out my cousin was trans before I was supposed to. She told her mom, who told mine, who told me. I wanted to support her whole heartedly, but of course did NOT want to out her or let her know that I knew something that wasn’t supposed to be public. So, in family gatherings, I negated using pronouns all together. You’ll be shocked how easy it is to just rephrase your sentence and not use pronouns (and most of the times names).

  • @rainbowpanic5632
    @rainbowpanic5632 4 роки тому +106

    I would like to add that when someone is questioning, don't immediately assume they aren't cis. When I came out as questioning it felt like I sorta trapped myself and couldn't go back or I'd be judged, ya know?

    • @peterevans6480
      @peterevans6480 3 роки тому +11

      Yeah, I’m questioning and I’m scared to tell my parents because I might just be cis.

    • @alicepuccini2452
      @alicepuccini2452 3 роки тому +10

      @@peterevans6480 you are their child, they should love you, regardless of gender

  • @caties3297
    @caties3297 5 років тому +63

    This was very helpful bc my partner is questioning their gender and this was the first video I watched on the subject

  • @dannirobinson3782
    @dannirobinson3782 4 роки тому +31

    As someone who IS questioning their gender I’m watching this because I don’t know how I want the people around me to deal with it

  • @ShantiLaraPeace
    @ShantiLaraPeace 3 роки тому +4

    So useful, Ashley. Thank you. I'm trying to educate myself, the better to support somebody special in my life. Also, to anybody here who is struggling to find an ally, please know this stranger wishes you all the best. You do YOU. Stay safe x

  • @jadenpeltier3143
    @jadenpeltier3143 3 роки тому +4

    My 25 year old brother has just told me last night she has always identified as a female, I AM SO PROUD TO BE HIS/HER BROTHER and am so excited to see her how she sees herself 😁and so eager to learn more about it(we’re 18 months apart and have always been SO close and the only thing that makes me sad is that she didn’t feel she could tell us sooner) this is the beginning for us and I couldn’t be more happy and proud and feel more privileged to be able to see the journey of my sibling as she becomes who she was always meant to be 😁

  • @MashaaYeah
    @MashaaYeah 7 років тому +21

    thank you ! this helps a lot :) a close friend recently told me about their gender struggles and this video helped me a lot.

  • @asthetankturns2313
    @asthetankturns2313 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you for this video! My oldest child is questioning and I'm trying to make sure I'm the best support system I can be for them as they figure it out! 💜

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  3 роки тому +1

      Thank you for seeking out information and for watching this video. You child needs you, and your understanding can save them from feelings of isolation, loneliness, and desperation 💛

  • @kindbloodedArlanna
    @kindbloodedArlanna 8 років тому +42

    Thanks for this video. I hate it when I tell ppl that I'm nonbinary and they say "there's no such thing" or they decide that I must be transgender. It also ticks me off when ppl decide to call me "it" rather than they/them because I won't pick a gender and they think I'm being fake af

  • @stevesartstudio
    @stevesartstudio 8 років тому +25

    Hey Ashley! I met you the other day at Vidcon while I was working on my graffiti piece. Just wanted to thank you for stopping by and checking it out. A lot of people just walked by and didn't really take notice to my work so it really meant a lot to me that you took the time out of your day to stop and give me some positive feedback. I just checked out your website and watched one of your videos and really think you have a lot of great things to share with the world. I just hit the sub button because I think you're awesome! Just wanted to say thanks for making my day better! :)

  • @Harmless
    @Harmless 8 років тому +30

    Sooooooo I'm making a playlist for my family, who I'm getting ready to come out to, because I do not have the emotional capacity to educate them from zero on my nonbinary identity, and this is the first video on the list. Thank you thank you thank you this is SO important.

  • @berf9445
    @berf9445 3 роки тому +1

    for someone who is questioning this was really helpful to watch.

  • @timecrayon
    @timecrayon 3 роки тому +5

    This is so helpful! My sibling is currently questioning their gender so I'm trying to be supportive. I'm gay myself so I thought I was pretty educated already, but there is still so much for me to learn!

  • @imtired3937
    @imtired3937 5 років тому +4

    Ahhhhh thank you!!!! 🥺 I really need this. A good friend of mine is going though this, and I have had a really hard time understanding it fully and supporting them in a way they feel comfortable... Seriously thank you 🥺

  • @jasperperez5338
    @jasperperez5338 8 років тому +24

    This video is outstanding! It covers the important points and makes everything clear for the allies. As a non-binary kid, I thank you for making it

  • @Yacqui13
    @Yacqui13 8 років тому +20

    Thank you for this video! I always want to be as good an ally as I can be. :)

  • @TheoVect
    @TheoVect 3 роки тому +1

    Extremely useful video, found this trying to find better words for to help a friend with their crush whom is trans. Keep uploading!

  • @raphlvlogs271
    @raphlvlogs271 Рік тому

    it is important to let someone be just be who they are

  • @veterinarian1384
    @veterinarian1384 3 роки тому +1

    I have a cis friend who is helping me find my gender and I’m really grateful for that, because i personally am cool with it (i dont speak for everyone though) I’m so happy they’re supporting me and taking an extra step to help me find myself :)

  • @Nhouah
    @Nhouah 8 років тому +5

    I always love the advice you give to allies ! :)

  • @just1ne.l
    @just1ne.l 4 роки тому +3

    tysm! my friend came out as non-binary and i want to support them as much as i can ! :)

  • @tammymcguire4991
    @tammymcguire4991 3 роки тому +1

    You are wonderful❤️, my son is transgender & you speak the truth yes. Ty for this🌹

  • @tucker12435
    @tucker12435 5 років тому +1

    I came out as gender fluid to my fiancé after watching the Bohemian Rhapsody movie in December. I love her and she’s my best friend, but I’ve told her a number of times that I want to be beautiful and handsome for her. And she always says to me you are going to be the perfect husband, I should be happy but there is that part of me that wishes they were different

  • @MrRegina785
    @MrRegina785 6 років тому +1

    Thank you a lot Ashley, you are an amazing helper person, I really needed to watch a video like this.
    Regards from Brazil.

  • @kaiyodei
    @kaiyodei 3 роки тому +2

    even with "I don't feel (gendery) enough because I am not a walking stereotype" ?

  • @kirakp2661
    @kirakp2661 2 роки тому

    Thank you.. yes...! Preach..!

  • @kateblake321
    @kateblake321 3 роки тому +2

    I am trying to support my five year old in their questioning. I’m seriously struggling to find resources that make sense for a young child. Any ideas?

  • @Shortfilmsyou
    @Shortfilmsyou 7 років тому +1

    Very nice video, very glad you made it!

  • @toeman_dungfart1855
    @toeman_dungfart1855 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you very much!!!

  • @ecodawn-gf2ex
    @ecodawn-gf2ex Рік тому

    Love you ! Ashley!

  • @noonecaressam7684
    @noonecaressam7684 4 роки тому +1

    Ngl this made me cry

  • @filmzen281
    @filmzen281 5 років тому +3

    My 11 year old is asking ME all these questions. Labels, surgery's etc... how do I answer?

    • @ShibePlanetOld
      @ShibePlanetOld 5 років тому +2

      12 year old questioning here... uhhh, I dunno.

    • @abieskyevalin1191
      @abieskyevalin1191 3 роки тому

      Tell her everything, let her know and respect ither people. Who knows, she might identify somehow. Please redpond to all of those with how much you know and help her find out more

  • @justjayde9341
    @justjayde9341 3 роки тому +1

    I have a question, what if my partner brings up or wants to open up to me about their questioning gender. Do I openly talk to them about it or, I am just worried I might say the wrong thing ?

  • @peterevans6480
    @peterevans6480 3 роки тому +1

    I used this video to tell my parents that Im questioning my gender. I hope they dont make it a big deal because I really just want them to say "cool" and ask my pronouns.

  • @LeonardoHamato
    @LeonardoHamato 4 роки тому +2

    My bf is questioning their identity but they currently identify as demi-boy so I refer them as them but when I'm talking about them as my lover I say boyfriend, if they seem uncomfortable then I'll change how I refer to them, I'm also part of the lgbt+ as a non binary, panromantic, ace, grey romantic person

  • @Harmless
    @Harmless 8 років тому +2

    Ohhhh, I love this! Thank you so much!

  • @rubiconoutdoors3492
    @rubiconoutdoors3492 3 роки тому +2

    My best friend just came out to me as trans female. For me, im a str8 dude, im a little sad bc i feel like im losing someone i love (my best bro). but im also happy because im gaining a new friend if that makes sence. Its just how i feel. Idk. 💕 please share your thoughts.

  • @uswaizum732
    @uswaizum732 8 років тому +4

    you're great.

  • @RebeccaPaige
    @RebeccaPaige 8 років тому +4

    What town do you all live in that you get bombarded with gender questions? It never gets brought up where I'm at.

  • @alicepuccini2452
    @alicepuccini2452 3 роки тому +1

    Help! I'm questioning and trying out stuff, different clothing, hairstyles etc. but my girlfriend feels depressed because of this situation. What should we do? What could I tell her to make her feel better?

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  3 роки тому +3

      There probably isn't anything you can tell her to make her feel better. If she's having a hard time being supportive, I would suggest that she puts some energy into educating herself and then makes a decision about whether or not she can be a good partner to you.

    • @alicepuccini2452
      @alicepuccini2452 3 роки тому

      @@AWylde thank you for your answer!

  • @kathybramley5609
    @kathybramley5609 6 років тому +2

    Awesome!!

  • @Ishay7227
    @Ishay7227 8 років тому +3

    I love u so much !!!!!!! Great video

  • @alexc.7035
    @alexc.7035 3 роки тому +1

    Ahh how do I send this to my parents that don't know English? JAJAJ fck

  • @layners38
    @layners38 8 років тому +3

    You're the best

  • @laurajob4532
    @laurajob4532 7 років тому +1

    I find this next thing really hard: I live in this place, without much diversity. I feel like everyone who stands out gets sent away from here. So, there is this person in my school, whom I have talked with a few times now, and this person stands out because of having a different body language and way of dressing. This persons body features and name are typically recognized as female, but this person dresses much more like most boys in my school basically. And I haven't spent too much attention to this for the past year, but I'm at a point in which I would really like to know the pronounces of this person. BUT:
    1. I don't know if this person is questioning their gender, I just kinda assume that there's a possibility that this person does.
    2. I really can't think of a sentence that translates to "What are your pronounces" in Dutch without being rude and I don't wanna break in.
    How do I do this?

  • @jeffl8725
    @jeffl8725 3 роки тому +1

    and pray, pray, pray for them.

  • @1loulouk
    @1loulouk 4 роки тому +1

    its just hard my sister told my mom she wanted to be a boy and i just dont rhink i can call them anything new...

  • @lalc9149
    @lalc9149 6 років тому +2

    aa i would love to sub this to portuguese for my fam :''D

  • @QueenHalo
    @QueenHalo 8 років тому +2

    Ashley do you watch buzzfeed videos? They have a lot of videos on these topics and feminism BUT if you read the comments in their videos, people are so so rude and hateful. They don't understand it so they hate on it and attack people. Disgusting

    • @AshleysWyldeLife
      @AshleysWyldeLife 8 років тому +10

      I don't watch a lot of Buzzfeed videos, but I also almost NEVER read comments! People are nasty when you give them anonymity.

    • @RebeccaPaige
      @RebeccaPaige 8 років тому +1

      +Ashley Wylde One doesn't have to read comments to experience hate whether it be verbal or physical.

  • @user-yz2so7qi7w
    @user-yz2so7qi7w 6 років тому +1

    Why am I watching this this is so irrelevant to the Philippines. We need to stop drugs and crazy stuff.

  • @robertgreen6027
    @robertgreen6027 4 роки тому +1

    How to help your gender questioning child: Hand him/her a biology book and tell him/her to stop being silly!

    • @avasimmons7117
      @avasimmons7117 3 роки тому +4

      Tell me... What is it like being uneducated?

    • @robertgreen6027
      @robertgreen6027 3 роки тому

      @@avasimmons7117 You mean un-woke? Excellent! why?

    • @zaakuuroo
      @zaakuuroo 3 роки тому +1

      you know sex and gender are different stuff right?

    • @robertgreen6027
      @robertgreen6027 3 роки тому

      @@zaakuuroo Recently yes. But not traditionally. :)

    • @n.k579
      @n.k579 3 роки тому

      How to help Miss @Robert Green sympathise with the struggles of gender identity, give her a taste of her own medicine and hope she takes it.... feels uncomfortable doesn't it... darling

  • @misaeltony2523
    @misaeltony2523 6 років тому

    A confused person is seeking truth, and truth is only found in christ .