The parent who enables the abuse often does so because, consciously or subconsciously, since the abuse is redirected to a different target, they reap the benefits of the person the abuser is outside of that side of them. I hope OP realizes one day that their mom was never a good person as well, and I'm glad that they got away. I hope therapy helps OP more in the future.
OP respects his mother even tho she basically forced him to deal with the constant torment from his so called “father”. She could’ve taken him out so he could live a better, less pain and suffering life. Really, OP?? I wouldn’t even have any respect towards her. In fact, I’d probably never speak nor see her again cause she failed miserably as a parent.
there is no reason to love or respect your mother she let this happen to you and did nothing to stop it and chose your abuser over you at every turn. tell em both to go to hell
I remember a story were an op had an abusive stepfather, op was able to make the guys life hell later with one of the things being he went to the gym so the guy couldn’t intimidate him anymore. Might sound brick headed or incentivize, but op could hit the gym then the next time the dad tries something he could make the dad regret it and claim self defense since the guy would likely say something about beating him, especially if he has it recorded on his phone or something.
OP I am so sorry both your parents failed you . Your mother failed you as much as your father ,they were equal partners in your abuse . She remained silent and did nothing to stop or protect you ,therefore she was complicit. Stay strong , soldier on continue with therapy and stay no contact. The best revenge is success 🙏🏿
Story 2: something tells me there's another man involved. She kept 2 on hand every time during her years of dating. She probably found a new "backup" that blew up her family.
I think it’s a generational thing. It was so common that was the way that people dealt with their children in past generations that they really don’t see anything wrong with it. My grandparents beat the sh-t out of their kids if they got in trouble, so did my mom. I mostly grounded my kids. It took a LOT for me to spank my kids butts when they were younger, because I remembered how it felt to get routinely beaten over every stupid little thing when I was a kid. So it had to be a “massive” infraction for my kids to get a spanking, and it was so far away from what I got growing up that it wasn’t funny. They got it easy, bare hand on a fully clothed butt. I got stripped down to bare butt, put over a toilet on my stomach and my mom would sit on my back so that I couldn’t move while she beat me with a wooden spoon, and then when she eventually broke the whole set over my butt she switched to a leather belt that left strap mark bruises up and down my back/butt/legs. A girl asked me in gym class while changing what happened to me and I was confused by the look of horror on her face. This was so normal to me-I thought everyone got that. Later I got called into the principal’s office for questioning and I lied to him, said I fell down the stairs which he didn’t believe but let me go anyway. She had me programmed to be terrified of children’s services, saying that it would be so horrible and traumatic and I would never see my family or friends ever again if they took me. Once she even flipped open a phone book and told me to call them as I sobbed after she beat me. She spelled out everything horrible that would happen to me if I did. Later I became a foster parent because I knew how it was to be abused. Sadly-she wasn’t even remotely wrong about what she said would happen to me while in the state’s care. It all was basically true. I tried hard to be a decent foster parent but the whole thing is so wildly traumatic to kids that I’m sure most don’t recover. Yes of course they need to be removed from abusive homes, but that doesn’t make the process any less traumatic in its own right and way. They are completely terrified and displaced. Removed from every familiar thing and person that they know, and usually there is a school switch as well if this place is any indication. So they lose that familiarity and their friends as well. And don’t even get me started on the pathetic excuse for a clothing and food allowance. Anyone who follows that has foster kids with way less than they need in life. Three of the cheapest outfits does NOT a wardrobe make! And food? Bare minimum. I did not follow the budget and paid out of pocket for so many standard things that my own kids got-the fosters were not going to be treated as “less than”.
On story 2 Ops ex or bff sound like a manipulative selfish person only wanted to be validated I feel that to her it never crossed her mind that probably op moved on and made a family for himself instead of being a simp waiting for her to come around after she had her fill and know seeing op with a family it made her feel jealous and not important to op
Last story: A sounds like an ex bf. About 5 years after we split up, he called me, and for my own amusement, I decided to hear what he had to say. He didn't disappoint. To break it down, the highlights are 1. He insisted he broke up with me. (Not true. I told him to take a hike in the Himalayas in a blizzard after I caught him lying to and stealing from me) 2. Why did we break up? (Dude, you just insisted you did the breaking up. How do you not know this?) 3. He's been in treatment for his addictions, so he isn't responsible for anything he might have done. (🙄) So I have to forgive him. (Double 🙄) 4. He'll treat me to lunch at McDonalds (be still my heart!) 5. Random negging. (🤷♀️) I didn't say much, except to outright refuse to see him at McDonald's or anywhere else.
Wait, hold up. Dad wants OP to drop the design major, because it isn’t marketable, and instead he suggests… ENGLISH!?! There are only two things you can do with an English degree: teach English lit in high school (and college if you get a masters degree); or, get a masters degree in Library Science and be a librarian. Job prospects for librarians is… not great.though, there are a lot of librarians hired in the 80s, who will be retiring soon. The pay is… okay, I guess. People mostly become librarians because of a passion for the field, not the pay. High School English? In America, we literally have high school teachers competing with their own students for minimum wage jobs. That’s beyond passion… It’s masochism.
Story 2: I'd have just told her flat out that back then you felt as though you were nothing but her back up plan/ place holder because you were always with someone else not me. Constantly messaging other guys in my presence etc. Let her worm her way out of that one.
Nah It means they have a hobby and will join a club that will give the chance for social interaction. YTA if you get controlling and upset over a little club that is not in the least bit harmful. Be better.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Second story: Jesus, OP scared me with that April Fools. 🤣
🤣
Agreed. I was like “you dumb fuck…”. oh you got me!
Yeah, I was like WTF? and then he said "April fools" xD
So happy your comment was on top so I was prepared for that crap 😆
I know!!! I was thinking ‘WTF?!?! Are you crazy?!?!’ 😂😂
The parent who enables the abuse often does so because, consciously or subconsciously, since the abuse is redirected to a different target, they reap the benefits of the person the abuser is outside of that side of them. I hope OP realizes one day that their mom was never a good person as well, and I'm glad that they got away. I hope therapy helps OP more in the future.
Woah that's a new perspective I haven't heard before. Thanks for sharing, very insightful!
Agreed. She would rather let OP be the punching bag instead of taking him and leaving.
If a steparent abuses a child the spouse should get twice the prison time for putting sex over their child.
OP respects his mother even tho she basically forced him to deal with the constant torment from his so called “father”. She could’ve taken him out so he could live a better, less pain and suffering life. Really, OP?? I wouldn’t even have any respect towards her. In fact, I’d probably never speak nor see her again cause she failed miserably as a parent.
there is no reason to love or respect your mother she let this happen to you and did nothing to stop it and chose your abuser over you at every turn. tell em both to go to hell
Abuse can have a serious affect on the mind, it's possibly something similar to Stockholm syndrome, I don't remember the actual name for it.
Complex PTSD, or C-PTSD, I think?
Battered *insert relation here* syndrome?
I remember a story were an op had an abusive stepfather, op was able to make the guys life hell later with one of the things being he went to the gym so the guy couldn’t intimidate him anymore. Might sound brick headed or incentivize, but op could hit the gym then the next time the dad tries something he could make the dad regret it and claim self defense since the guy would likely say something about beating him, especially if he has it recorded on his phone or something.
Countdown for a reddit story voiceover is crazy
It's a big event apparently
gotta market that AI slop somehow
You Mother is not on your side.
Exactly. She is just as ab*sive in her way as the father is.
Story 2 💀
Edit: I have been April fooled
That was only for that one small part of his response. I was like WTF too until he said april fool.
OP I am so sorry both your parents failed you . Your mother failed you as much as your father ,they were equal partners in your abuse . She remained silent and did nothing to stop or protect you ,therefore she was complicit. Stay strong , soldier on continue with therapy and stay no contact. The best revenge is success 🙏🏿
Story 1: The parents of story 1 are my mother and stepdad incarnate (I'm away from them don't worry)
Story 2: something tells me there's another man involved. She kept 2 on hand every time during her years of dating. She probably found a new "backup" that blew up her family.
2 story: bro was neo from matrix for how many bullets dodged
“Life is the only game, in which the point of the game is to learn the rules.
I think it’s a generational thing. It was so common that was the way that people dealt with their children in past generations that they really don’t see anything wrong with it. My grandparents beat the sh-t out of their kids if they got in trouble, so did my mom. I mostly grounded my kids. It took a LOT for me to spank my kids butts when they were younger, because I remembered how it felt to get routinely beaten over every stupid little thing when I was a kid. So it had to be a “massive” infraction for my kids to get a spanking, and it was so far away from what I got growing up that it wasn’t funny. They got it easy, bare hand on a fully clothed butt. I got stripped down to bare butt, put over a toilet on my stomach and my mom would sit on my back so that I couldn’t move while she beat me with a wooden spoon, and then when she eventually broke the whole set over my butt she switched to a leather belt that left strap mark bruises up and down my back/butt/legs. A girl asked me in gym class while changing what happened to me and I was confused by the look of horror on her face. This was so normal to me-I thought everyone got that. Later I got called into the principal’s office for questioning and I lied to him, said I fell down the stairs which he didn’t believe but let me go anyway. She had me programmed to be terrified of children’s services, saying that it would be so horrible and traumatic and I would never see my family or friends ever again if they took me. Once she even flipped open a phone book and told me to call them as I sobbed after she beat me. She spelled out everything horrible that would happen to me if I did. Later I became a foster parent because I knew how it was to be abused. Sadly-she wasn’t even remotely wrong about what she said would happen to me while in the state’s care. It all was basically true. I tried hard to be a decent foster parent but the whole thing is so wildly traumatic to kids that I’m sure most don’t recover. Yes of course they need to be removed from abusive homes, but that doesn’t make the process any less traumatic in its own right and way. They are completely terrified and displaced. Removed from every familiar thing and person that they know, and usually there is a school switch as well if this place is any indication. So they lose that familiarity and their friends as well. And don’t even get me started on the pathetic excuse for a clothing and food allowance. Anyone who follows that has foster kids with way less than they need in life. Three of the cheapest outfits does NOT a wardrobe make! And food? Bare minimum. I did not follow the budget and paid out of pocket for so many standard things that my own kids got-the fosters were not going to be treated as “less than”.
On story 2 Ops ex or bff sound like a manipulative selfish person only wanted to be validated I feel that to her it never crossed her mind that probably op moved on and made a family for himself instead of being a simp waiting for her to come around after she had her fill and know seeing op with a family it made her feel jealous and not important to op
Second story: I kid you not if I did not hear that April fools boyyyyyyyyy would not here the end of this
Last story: A sounds like an ex bf. About 5 years after we split up, he called me, and for my own amusement, I decided to hear what he had to say. He didn't disappoint. To break it down, the highlights are
1. He insisted he broke up with me. (Not true. I told him to take a hike in the Himalayas in a blizzard after I caught him lying to and stealing from me)
2. Why did we break up? (Dude, you just insisted you did the breaking up. How do you not know this?)
3. He's been in treatment for his addictions, so he isn't responsible for anything he might have done. (🙄) So I have to forgive him. (Double 🙄)
4. He'll treat me to lunch at McDonalds (be still my heart!)
5. Random negging. (🤷♀️)
I didn't say much, except to outright refuse to see him at McDonald's or anywhere else.
Second story I cant call her disrespectful...
She's f ing married how can you pretend she's not
Wait, hold up.
Dad wants OP to drop the design major, because it isn’t marketable, and instead he suggests…
ENGLISH!?!
There are only two things you can do with an English degree: teach English lit in high school (and college if you get a masters degree); or, get a masters degree in Library Science and be a librarian. Job prospects for librarians is… not great.though, there are a lot of librarians hired in the 80s, who will be retiring soon. The pay is… okay, I guess. People mostly become librarians because of a passion for the field, not the pay. High School English? In America, we literally have high school teachers competing with their own students for minimum wage jobs. That’s beyond passion… It’s masochism.
Story 2: I'd have just told her flat out that back then you felt as though you were nothing but her back up plan/ place holder because you were always with someone else not me. Constantly messaging other guys in my presence etc. Let her worm her way out of that one.
I think most parents eould at the very least disappointed if their kid joined a "quidditch clud"
AITA for telling my child I'm dissapointed in their decision to join a quidditch club and I raised them better than this?
@@HoangNguyen-rd6qy nta
Nah It means they have a hobby and will join a club that will give the chance for social interaction.
YTA if you get controlling and upset over a little club that is not in the least bit harmful.
Be better.
@@TheOMGRamen It's not a hobby, it's an embarrassment
Day 140 of commenting to help secretvoices
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