Thanks to people like Christopher West, Jason Evert , Matt Fradd and other amazing Catholics I have changed my view on sex in marriage . And am now expecting my 4th child .
Hello from Italy: another 4 kids team here aswell, all boys in our case (2018, '19, '21 and '23). If they don't become four ninja turtles saints I'm going to be somehow disappointed.
WOW. I'm getting married in a couple months but my fiancée and I have been having sex. Mr. West, you've just convinced me to be chaste until the big day. I'm a sex addict and was pretending it was fine. And now here I am genuinely PUMPED to be chaste. WOW. God bless you sir.
God bless you for receiving and embracing the truth and not turning away in self riteous anger. By God’s grace you can rewire your mind heart and body to understand the act of marriage - sex. You got this, brother!! 1. Beg for the grace 2. Will the good 3. In the moment
The part about co-habitation: you don’t “try” somebody out. They aren’t a car, you don’t take them for a test drive. It’s unmarried people living as if they are married. Pretending. Marriage is giving yourself to another TOTALLY. You can’t “try” that out. By having sex with someone you aren’t married to, you are training yourself to lie with your body. If you have a reserve clause “I can get out of this” … this is not preparing for marriage, this is preparation for divorce. GOLD. 🙌🏼
This episode will be part of our ongoing “sex talk” with our teens. Thank you, Lord, for these words and stories of Your truth and life-giving freedom. Magnificent.
I had already recognized Gnosticism in Western culture--and parts of the Church--when I discovered Christopher West. His presentation made perfect sense. Now I'm an evangelist for the Theology of the Body. BTW, I'm not Roman Catholic yet I very much understand the sacredness of marriage and marital union.
Omg I met this man with my massive family at Ave Maria college in Naples Florida when I like, 12. He was hilarious and he spoke so well and even though I couldn't understand much of what he said, I'll never forget the way he spoke about Mary. Little tears fell down my cheeks at how beautifully connected I felt to Mary in that moment. Then, my older siblings had Theology of the Body meetings with their friends and they would listen to that CD and they would talk about it and I ate cookies and didn't understand anything, but it felt awesome to be around so many strong, rational, convictions. My brother ended up meeting his wife in these meetings and they now have 5 kids! ❤
Man I wish I had seen something like this before I got married. The adults in my life encouraged the "try it before you buy it" mentality and made me feel guilty for not wanting to give myself to my then boyfriend now husband. (this was before I left the church. I'm a revert now) Even some of my catholic family members were encouraging it and contraception. Which left me feeling confused and torn up. This would of really helped me back in the day.
"Try it before you buy it" is what you're catholic elders were instructing you to do but your a "lady of fidelity"? What does fidelity mean to you? Matthew 5:28-30 does not say "try it before you buy it"
@@justinchamberlain3443 I am aware of that. I was talking about my past. I didn't know any better back then. I'm not condoneing my family elders take on that. I reject it.
The older generation have done so much harm to our culture. Reason I hate when they blame the newer generation for everything. You were the ones that caused the sexual revolution, lost your morals and faith, divorce, individualism. My parents did instill good morals on virginity. But I think it was moreso cultural since we are Iraqi Catholic. Western culture doesn’t care much about virginity anymore. What they did do which I rejected is encouraging me not to have many babies. After my first my father told me he wanted more for me than just be a mother and wife. Well I wanted a big family and view everyone of my children a blessing. We’re expecting our 5th in 8 years marriage
@Ladyoffidelity14 I get that of course but my point is you said "this was before I left the church" but if any of us "try it before we buy it" what does matthew 5:28-30 say? Does it say "it's OK I understand we all make mistakes and you can atone for it later in some kind of purgatory reality" or is it saying that if you look w/ lust you're going to hell and so we need to cut out willful sin out of our lives ie "mortify the flesh" rom8:12-13? The problem is dear one that you could be living in direct contradiction to Christ (see rev 2:20-23 on the very subject) and still feel you "havent left the church" even though there's clearly not a chance that you would've been saved and allowed to enter/inherit eternal life w/ Christ-1cor6:9-11 at that point in your life. This is why we're told to "work out our own salvation" phil2:12,13 and we do that by acts 17:11 & gal 1:8. You need to at least be reading thru the new testament yearly to make sure youre not being lied to. Thats what Luke 16:27-31 clearly means and notice how the rich man couldnt argue even though he was biblically ignorant that he still should be saved from the flames. Most protestants just believe that if they just say a prayer they can do whatever they want but that type of conclusion would also clearly violate those passages. Probably 2% are ready to go and meet Christ rev19:7,8 based off of what I've seen in protestantism. I just tell people "read the Bible and look for the Holy Spirit to convict guide and direct you daily and you'll be ready to see Jesus". It's dark times. Wasn't trying to single you out. If I watch porn I don't have fidelity either and am violating matt5:28-30. It's a hard narrow path that few find but it sounds like you're on it and now all you and i have to do is do all that we can to stay on it by spending at least 10-15 mins in the Bible and follow the Holy Spirits convictions. "Strive to enter through the narrow gate" and "those who endure until the end shall be saved"; God help us to endure and make it in Jesus name
@@justinchamberlain3443 I hadn't really read the Bible back then either and I have been to confession and mended my life of my past as well. I am a new creation in Christ and I trust in his mercy.
I just started the RCIAs ☺️ im loving these indepth videos it really helps especially dating in 2024. I had already decided I wanted to wait until marriage before starting the RCIAs but it's videos like this that help put everything into perspective on why it's good to wait. And what it says about your partner if they are willing too.
This was fantastic. I wish, I wish, I wish, I would have had something like this when I was a teenager. It really puts stuff into perspective, in regards to the proper place for sex. Granted I was taught to wait and church youth camps would mention it on occasion, but to truly have teaching like this is awesome! Great discussion gentlemen!
It's a pleasure to listen to Christopher's clear explanations and very simple analogies - spoken with a great passion every time. It's a bit weird feeling - I feel I'll never experience marriage, so the arguments related to future spouse sound weaker and weaker with every year passing, but the logic presented by Chris convinces and inspires me that chastity has a great value on its own, in a single life too, even when it can't be a gift to the spouse. Thanks Chris, and Matt, and THRSDY.
There is a lot that could be desired from the modern Church, but I've come to be deeply grateful for the recent teachings on human sexuality, stemming from Theology of the Body, and further promulgated by those like Christopher West. It's a holistic, integrated, loving approach that I have never seen replicated anywhere else in Christianity, and it so fully encapsulates the richness of the scope of our sexual being. It is generous without abeting sin. And it's a marvel that in these darker times of Church history that we are still given gems like this. On a side note, I grew up hearing Christopher West's name, and seeing Good News About Sex and Marriage on the bookshelf, so it is delightful to see Matt interview him! Almost like seeing a Catholic rock-star, lol.
Thank you so much for this video. It was so painful to hear yet so relieving at the same time. God only knows how many mistakes I’ve made in my life but I’ve been married for 11 years and not once has my husband ejaculated inside of me. Not once. Obviously we don’t have children as a result. I confess I feel broken, rejected, unwanted. I pray to God to give me the strength to pull through and to ease this tremendous and torturous pain I feel even more now that I am older and the possibility of ever becoming a mother reveals itself as an impossible task. I pray for anyone who is in my same situation, know that you are not alone. God bless you all.
I’m so sorry to see the pain you are going through relationally. I pray that your husband comes to an understanding of the hurt he is causing , and the reasons why this is happening. May your intimate life be blessed one day.
@@NihouNi thank you so much for your reply, it made me feel heard. I just hope no one else goes through what I went through. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you 🙏🏻
I'm sorry that you had to go through what you're going through but I appreciate you for sharing your experience. This seems to be a common issue among couples with majority with only one, two or zero children. We have been deceived by this demonic culture. no one ever voices their negative experience of contraception. My prayers are with you sister.
@@gabyrodmac6419 Praying that 2024 brings you to an awareness of absolutely the reverse of how you have felt - that you will feel whole, welcomed and wanted. There is always space in God's heart for you.
Thank the Lord for Christopher West and others like him for speaking sense about these issues. I find his talks to be well reasoned and supportive, thank you for having him on the show!
This was unspeakably incredible. I had never understood until he spoke those blessed words proclaiming that a misuse of sex by contraception is blasphemy. I had not supported and had mocked the traditional anti contraceptive view. Finally, I see. Praise God, forever more the glory and honor unto him.
Married at 20, we saved ourself for marriage. We have been married for 9 years now and have always practiced nfp. We have 4 beautiful children that we would not have had so closely together without the gift of openness to life. Praise be to God. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it. We are open to more children in the future. Trust in God and He will reward you!
I met Christopher when I was about 20. At the time my fiance and I told him we were engaged and he literally leapt for joy. At that same event there was a q&a and a mother with her daughter said that the daughter was a mistake, right after Christopher said nobody is a "mistake." He tenderly looked at both of them and then at the daughter and compassionately explained that she was not a mistake. 😭
I am so thankful for your anwser on the second question. We are struggling with accepting our fertility with having infant twins - the desire for one another in time of fertility and exhaustion with caring for the family in non-fertile time - no desire for intimacy at the end of a day... And we were searching for an anwser how to take advantage of the desire but not to get pregnant and also not be in sin... And we got some vague responses in sense: "the teaching is at is is, but in the bedroom there are only you two and God..." And I think that thoes vague interpretations are really dangerous. And then i found this video and am greatly thankful for your anwser! God bless you!
God bless your family. Nfp can definitely be a cross, but it’s also a blessing too. Look into Marquette method to space children it’s licit and very helpful.
Very impactful. It's an amazing experience to open the mind to new ideas that begin to unwind decades of worldly experience and wrong. Even ones we cling to.
Protestant fan here, loving this conversation! I have a quick question on the topic of female ordination: I can see and understand that a women cannot fill the role of spiritual father that the priest is meant to have, but is there a female equivalent, a spiritual mother role for the congregation? And if not, what is the explanation there? It's been a lot of fun seeing how other Christians work through some of these big questions, so thanks so much for the content you all create, it's truly a gift!
Nuns? Mothers and sisters. Some of the greatest saints are women... Think of the Virgin Mary: The greatest human to ever have lived (aside from Jesus of course, but he was both human and divine).
A priest represents/ is in the person of Jesus, the Church is His Bride, we are children of their union. So yes, the Church herself is Mother through her teaching and ministering to the health of our souls on the way to the Father.
I was following this very funny couple on social media until they said when asked if they waited until marriage that they had to "try it before you buy it, it's like a car, you have to try it before you buy it." It was so sad to me that spouses would use each other like an item, such as a car.
I think I know who you’re talking about. Is the guy Italian and the girl American? When I heard that I was so put off. They kind of scoffed at people who are waiting
I’d like to see a conversation with Christopher West and Dr John Delaney from the Ramsey network. I think the TOB would be great for him to learn about because he talks about anxiety being the bodies reaction and talk about what is your body tryin to tell you
So much godly wisdom in this show i will have to listen to it again to grasp it. Ive dwelt with same sex attraction all my life. I am married 28 years, have awesome children by invetro who i love and i am in turmoil. My wfe has no respect. The Lord is always failthful and that is what i depend on. I am stuck and lowly.
May the Holy Spirit guide you as you seek truth in turmoil. I will pray for you tonight, my friend. Just remember that God loves you and he still has a plan for you even when sin and darkness seem to be wrecking that plan.
Just decided to watch this after a relapse of a 8 month sobriety of porn. So good to listen to the Wisdom of the Church in this matter and it gives me strenght to not relapse again. I shall look for confession.
I got 5 beautiful kids because of the Catholic Church teaching on sex and marriage, not a view I initially held like many we are influenced by our culture, a product of the sexual revolution. And I owe a thank you to Christopher West, many other apologists and the CCC for gifting me with such happiness and fulfillment. Also owe the sleepless nights lol but wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks for this great video. I have a situation I'm working out and it's a bit tough... This video got me thinking, and it's making a lot of sense, beautiful stuff. My situation is, I'm in a non-marital relationship with the woman I love, we are in our late 20s. We've been together for almost 5 years and we've always been on a spiritual path, exploring different ways and faiths. Well, my path is fulfilled, I feel, in Christianity. Christ has been calling me for years and now I'm finally letting Him in my life, shedding fears and repenting, accepting Him. The thing is, we are sexually active and see sex as the beautiful spiritual thing that it is. But, she doesn't share my zeal for the Church and Christ. She is coming with me to Catechumenat (OCIA) and likes the universally spiritual content, but she doesn't feel it as her faith exclusively or identify as Christian. But the thing I want to write about here is the sexual aspect... She wouldn't want to stop using contraception or have any children at this time. She doesn't even know I'm thinking about this topic and changing my views on contraception, but she would disagree and misunderstand, as she doesn't agree with many of the Church's teachings in general and of course the ones about sex. I didn't bring the topic up in connection to Christianity, but just casually, and she disagrees and stands her ground on the pro contraception idea and not marrying yet, and i think she wouldn't like a Church wedding even if we do get married in the future (maybe at my wish this could be arranged...) So, I don't know what to do, i feel as if i'm torn between the Church and her. I truly love her,she is my beloved woman, and would love to spend my life with her as my wife. But she would not become my wife officially or have children (therefore would not stop using condoms). She would say that us and some animals is enough family for her. If i'm honest, i'm not too keen on having children at this time myself, but i recognize West's and the Church's points on life and God's will and the sacramental reality of sexuality. And in light of this, i would love to do right in the Eyes of the Lord. This is all quite new and unexpected for me, but Jesus has been slowly drawing me to the Bible and his church for years. To tell her all this as i feel it, she would probably think of me as a backwards old fashioned man. I never ever wanted to impose any ideology or practice on her before, but Christ has found me, and now I feel some despair around this sex thing which is actually very important. I feel like i'm living in sin, but i love her and she disagrees. How to sort this out with a positive loving outcome? Somebody please share a thought or two if you have it. God bless, T
God bless you! I think deep down you know the answer, but you’re scared of what that means. One thing you said stands out. You said that Christ has been slowly drawing you toward Himself. And then you said if you tried to explain that to her, she would think less of you. Could you truly imagine spending your whole life with someone that you can’t share your most intimate thoughts and dreams? What a crushing reality. I say you owe it to yourself to share these feelings with her. If she cannot accept this, perhaps you have your answer. Not an easy situation, but neither is living against your conscience.
@@CarolynRobinson814 Well i did speak to her again, explaining my views and my faith, and she was very open and understanding. But she still doesn't want these things right now, even though she agrees on the whole issue more or less. What i mean is, she agrees with everything more or less, the theology of the body, but to stop using condoms and/or have children right now, or get married right now, is a no. For me it's also a big deal if i think of doing these things out of the blue, as my views are still in the middle of the shift, but deep down i would like that, even if it was a shock. Like i said, i love her dearly and she willingly by herself, without me even asking, started attending OCIA with me. She is an awesome girlfriend, and i did not expect that level of respect toward a faith that was so new and a sudden change in me for her, and it was drawing me, and she was willing to come support me and show respect to my new found faith as my woman. I did hope my conversion wouldn't interfere with our relationship, as she has known me for half a decade as a non-Christian. Her conversion, if it came, should come to her naturally, i believe. It would be very self centered and harsh for me to leave the woman i love for not accepting Catholicism with me. Conversion should come from within, and the more intimate, radical life decisions that stem from it as well, not from outside factors and forcing. So i think your implying i should leave her is very harsh and uncalled for. But thanks for replying. I'm getting baptized this Easter, and I will talk to my priest about this soon, as it's a pending trouble for me. But i do see myself as living my life with her, and if that means more patience regarding these things, so be it. I don't want us to live in sin though, and that is the biggest trouble on my mind, as you probably know. She is actually already baptized since birth, but not a practicing Catholic. Her faith is more of a natural theology, non-denominational, she likes that sort of freedom. We will see. Anyway, God bless and thank you.
@@CarolynRobinson814 The first cornerstone of marriage is freedom (not forcing). And it's her body, the decision to have children and marry does not lie with me alone. Sometimes true love takes patience and disagreeing and working things out are sometimes necessary. She is thinking of going to a Theology of the body seminar to me next week, so good changes happening :)
I felt like the point of a seminarian doing a mock mass had the potential to be articulated so well but flopped from the honing in on “mockery” as opposed to not real or official. I felt like the point would have adequately been, a bishop does not rush to make the seminarian a priest so that the past (untrue) mass would be made valid. Much like non marital sex as undoing its reality through marital attempts at sex after being deemed as married.
That final point on euthanasia actually brings up the issue that if you reverse that, it becomes obvious that contraception is the cause of the movement toward euthanizing everyone
This is/was so good and the timing is right on. I am wondering how the Catholic Church would view people who marry past the point where conception is possible (i.e., post-menopause). Surely there is still a metaphor of the glorious and the sacred in people who genuinely and deeply fall in love "late in life" and are free to marry (?)
My question during the live chat was just this - the lack of any teaching or preaching about it, which is just to me that the church does not take the same position
As long as the couple is physically capable of having sex, freely enters the Union, has no other impediments, they can marry regardless of age. The marriage bond is enacted by the exchange of conjugal rights, not by the promise of having kids with each other.
I became Catholic a year and a half ago. My 4th and youngest child is 16 and I’m in my 40s. We originally wanted more, but it just never happened. I’d rather not have more children at this point because of the huge age gap, and starting over sounds hard. Maybe it’s just selfishness. We haven’t used any form of contraception for many years, so I tell myself that I’m open to life, yet I have a feeling of freedom that I don’t have to abstain or make hard decisions about having more children, because it’s very unlikely to happen after 16 years. But I kind of feel guilty about the relief I feel, and question if I’m really open to life. It’s like I’m telling God I’m open and at the same time in my heart, cringing and saying please no! I wonder if my reasons for not wanting more are valid. My husband is almost 50.
What Christopher said at 15mns is great . Is doable. 12 yrs ago was my last sex relation. Believe it please believe it whatever is hard for us once we put it in hand's God we are free of it.
A simple question I ask myself to understand what is the correct direction for sexuality is as follows: Is there any sacrifice that precedes the pleasure? Masturbation, birth control, sex before marriage, homosexuality is all pleasure and no sacrifice.
1:13:39 Priesthood isn’t a profession. “Priesthood is spiritual fatherhood.” I’m in 100% agreement. But isn’t this argument slightly insufficient to answer my interlocutor’s next question: “well, is there not spiritual motherhood? And isn’t Mary our spiritual mother? So why are spiritual mothers denied the priesthood?”
Question: Chris talks about giving yourself as a gift to your spouse. What if your spouse doesn't want your gift, or least not as often as you feel compelled to give it?
@@CarolynRobinson814 no, but it is a big problem for any relationship when a gift is declined. Honestly, it's considered quite rude to refuse a gift, is it not?
The husband has a cross of laying down his life for his bride. Figure out your wifes love language and serve her more. Pray for her more. Then she'll want your gift more. Her cross is perhaps being happy with your gift and putting your marriage at the high priority it should be, as we did promise our licit bodies to each other at marriage. Fast and pray.
I was hoping he would address NFP more. There's information out there saying that using NFP to permanently avoid children is a sin of contraception. Also, what constitutes grave reasons to avoid pregnancy? We already have three children and feel our family is complete. And I am particularly done after having three difficult pregnancies and three difficult births. Do I really need to continue bearing children to not live in sin?
Go by what the church teaches, not by information from UA-camrs who don’t use current church teaching as a basis for what they are saying is a sin or not a sin. The church doesn’t give a list of reasons to put off another child because every single couple and their is different. A serious reason for one couple might not be for a different couple. I’ve noticed in my own life that God usually gives you more than one serious reason to postpone a pregnancy. If you need further discernment after discussions with your spouse and prayer, you could always ask your spiritual director for guidance. NFP is wonderful for marriages I think - it forces communication and prayer with your spouse as well as fosters a respect for martial intimacy and learning to love your spouse in all areas of life, not just physically. If you want a place to start, A Sinners Guide to NFP is a short read, and ToB institute has good content as well (as stated by someone else).
From what I've read, the specifics on family planning are vague on purpose because it depends on each individual family's medical, financial and spiritual needs. Each family is to pray and seek spiritual counsel to determine when NFP is appropriate.
Using self control and knowledge of your body to make sure you are free to rightly care for the children you already have been given cannot be wrong. It comes down to self control, a fruit of the Spirit. Having more and more children because of lack of self control, by contrast, is clearly not right! Unless a person has endless resources, which most of us don't. The Lord completely understands our limitations and He expects us to behave responsibly.
It’s so strange to hear this truth being boldly proclaimed after listening to decades of miserable, sterile, modern “sexual ethics”. No irony that there’s no life in the latter.
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It's stuff like this that makes me go, "Damn, I love being Catholic."
Praise God for His truth revealed in the Church.
Thanks to people like Christopher West, Jason Evert , Matt Fradd and other amazing Catholics I have changed my view on sex in marriage . And am now expecting my 4th child .
We have 4 so far it’s so fun!
Hello from Italy: another 4 kids team here aswell, all boys in our case (2018, '19, '21 and '23). If they don't become four ninja turtles saints I'm going to be somehow disappointed.
WOW. I'm getting married in a couple months but my fiancée and I have been having sex. Mr. West, you've just convinced me to be chaste until the big day. I'm a sex addict and was pretending it was fine. And now here I am genuinely PUMPED to be chaste. WOW. God bless you sir.
God bless you for receiving and embracing the truth and not turning away in self riteous anger.
By God’s grace you can rewire your mind heart and body to understand the act of marriage - sex.
You got this, brother!!
1. Beg for the grace
2. Will the good
3. In the moment
Same here. Are you living together?
@@brokula1312 have been for 5 years. We have 2 kids. Had a powerful conversion last year.
Let us all pray for you… it will be difficult.
@@KyrieEleison7 Thank you so much. God bless you all I really appreciate the encouragement 🙏
The part about co-habitation: you don’t “try” somebody out. They aren’t a car, you don’t take them for a test drive. It’s unmarried people living as if they are married. Pretending. Marriage is giving yourself to another TOTALLY. You can’t “try” that out. By having sex with someone you aren’t married to, you are training yourself to lie with your body. If you have a reserve clause “I can get out of this” … this is not preparing for marriage, this is preparation for divorce.
GOLD. 🙌🏼
This episode will be part of our ongoing “sex talk” with our teens. Thank you, Lord, for these words and stories of Your truth and life-giving freedom. Magnificent.
How did it go?
I wish my parents gave me a sex talk.
I had already recognized Gnosticism in Western culture--and parts of the Church--when I discovered Christopher West. His presentation made perfect sense. Now I'm an evangelist for the Theology of the Body. BTW, I'm not Roman Catholic yet I very much understand the sacredness of marriage and marital union.
Omg I met this man with my massive family at Ave Maria college in Naples Florida when I like, 12. He was hilarious and he spoke so well and even though I couldn't understand much of what he said, I'll never forget the way he spoke about Mary. Little tears fell down my cheeks at how beautifully connected I felt to Mary in that moment. Then, my older siblings had Theology of the Body meetings with their friends and they would listen to that CD and they would talk about it and I ate cookies and didn't understand anything, but it felt awesome to be around so many strong, rational, convictions. My brother ended up meeting his wife in these meetings and they now have 5 kids! ❤
problem is if you fully belief in catholic doctrine bad things it's not biblical
read the bible accept Gods word pray and turn away from it
@@AndrewTatIana seven Adventist sectarian like you is in a worst situation because that diabolical sects is not biblical
@@AndrewTatIan
😂😅😢
@@YiriUbic3793 Barely even Christian. Modern Judaizers.
Man I wish I had seen something like this before I got married.
The adults in my life encouraged the "try it before you buy it" mentality and made me feel guilty for not wanting to give myself to my then boyfriend now husband. (this was before I left the church. I'm a revert now)
Even some of my catholic family members were encouraging it and contraception.
Which left me feeling confused and torn up.
This would of really helped me back in the day.
"Try it before you buy it" is what you're catholic elders were instructing you to do but your a "lady of fidelity"? What does fidelity mean to you? Matthew 5:28-30 does not say "try it before you buy it"
@@justinchamberlain3443 I am aware of that. I was talking about my past. I didn't know any better back then. I'm not condoneing my family elders take on that.
I reject it.
The older generation have done so much harm to our culture. Reason I hate when they blame the newer generation for everything. You were the ones that caused the sexual revolution, lost your morals and faith, divorce, individualism. My parents did instill good morals on virginity. But I think it was moreso cultural since we are Iraqi Catholic. Western culture doesn’t care much about virginity anymore. What they did do which I rejected is encouraging me not to have many babies. After my first my father told me he wanted more for me than just be a mother and wife. Well I wanted a big family and view everyone of my children a blessing. We’re expecting our 5th in 8 years marriage
@Ladyoffidelity14 I get that of course but my point is you said "this was before I left the church" but if any of us "try it before we buy it" what does matthew 5:28-30 say? Does it say "it's OK I understand we all make mistakes and you can atone for it later in some kind of purgatory reality" or is it saying that if you look w/ lust you're going to hell and so we need to cut out willful sin out of our lives ie "mortify the flesh" rom8:12-13? The problem is dear one that you could be living in direct contradiction to Christ (see rev 2:20-23 on the very subject) and still feel you "havent left the church" even though there's clearly not a chance that you would've been saved and allowed to enter/inherit eternal life w/ Christ-1cor6:9-11 at that point in your life. This is why we're told to "work out our own salvation" phil2:12,13 and we do that by acts 17:11 & gal 1:8. You need to at least be reading thru the new testament yearly to make sure youre not being lied to. Thats what Luke 16:27-31 clearly means and notice how the rich man couldnt argue even though he was biblically ignorant that he still should be saved from the flames. Most protestants just believe that if they just say a prayer they can do whatever they want but that type of conclusion would also clearly violate those passages. Probably 2% are ready to go and meet Christ rev19:7,8 based off of what I've seen in protestantism. I just tell people "read the Bible and look for the Holy Spirit to convict guide and direct you daily and you'll be ready to see Jesus". It's dark times. Wasn't trying to single you out. If I watch porn I don't have fidelity either and am violating matt5:28-30. It's a hard narrow path that few find but it sounds like you're on it and now all you and i have to do is do all that we can to stay on it by spending at least 10-15 mins in the Bible and follow the Holy Spirits convictions. "Strive to enter through the narrow gate" and "those who endure until the end shall be saved"; God help us to endure and make it in Jesus name
@@justinchamberlain3443 I hadn't really read the Bible back then either and I have been to confession and mended my life of my past as well. I am a new creation in Christ and I trust in his mercy.
I wish i would of found this 18 years ago....pray for me to find healing in Christ!
I just started the RCIAs ☺️ im loving these indepth videos it really helps especially dating in 2024.
I had already decided I wanted to wait until marriage before starting the RCIAs but it's videos like this that help put everything into perspective on why it's good to wait.
And what it says about your partner if they are willing too.
Only less than a quarter into this and I am blown away. Glory to God.
Thank you gentlemen
This was fantastic. I wish, I wish, I wish, I would have had something like this when I was a teenager. It really puts stuff into perspective, in regards to the proper place for sex. Granted I was taught to wait and church youth camps would mention it on occasion, but to truly have teaching like this is awesome! Great discussion gentlemen!
Agreed wholeheartedly!
It's a pleasure to listen to Christopher's clear explanations and very simple analogies - spoken with a great passion every time.
It's a bit weird feeling - I feel I'll never experience marriage, so the arguments related to future spouse sound weaker and weaker with every year passing, but the logic presented by Chris convinces and inspires me that chastity has a great value on its own, in a single life too, even when it can't be a gift to the spouse. Thanks Chris, and Matt, and THRSDY.
There is a lot that could be desired from the modern Church, but I've come to be deeply grateful for the recent teachings on human sexuality, stemming from Theology of the Body, and further promulgated by those like Christopher West. It's a holistic, integrated, loving approach that I have never seen replicated anywhere else in Christianity, and it so fully encapsulates the richness of the scope of our sexual being. It is generous without abeting sin. And it's a marvel that in these darker times of Church history that we are still given gems like this.
On a side note, I grew up hearing Christopher West's name, and seeing Good News About Sex and Marriage on the bookshelf, so it is delightful to see Matt interview him! Almost like seeing a Catholic rock-star, lol.
SO well-expressed! A great pleasure to read!
He's done a few interviews with him and I always learn so much!
You have excellently shared such a blesséd testimony about your early life.
The light emitting from the theology of the body is so glorious, bright and blinding I am going to have to watch this video a dozen times.
Thank you so much for this video. It was so painful to hear yet so relieving at the same time. God only knows how many mistakes I’ve made in my life but I’ve been married for 11 years and not once has my husband ejaculated inside of me. Not once. Obviously we don’t have children as a result. I confess I feel broken, rejected, unwanted. I pray to God to give me the strength to pull through and to ease this tremendous and torturous pain I feel even more now that I am older and the possibility of ever becoming a mother reveals itself as an impossible task. I pray for anyone who is in my same situation, know that you are not alone. God bless you all.
I’m so sorry to see the pain you are going through relationally. I pray that your husband comes to an understanding of the hurt he is causing , and the reasons why this is happening. May your intimate life be blessed one day.
@@NihouNi thank you so much for your reply, it made me feel heard. I just hope no one else goes through what I went through. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you 🙏🏻
I'm sorry that you had to go through what you're going through but I appreciate you for sharing your experience.
This seems to be a common issue among couples with majority with only one, two or zero children. We have been deceived by this demonic culture. no one ever voices their negative experience of contraception.
My prayers are with you sister.
@@gabyrodmac6419 Praying that 2024 brings you to an awareness of absolutely the reverse of how you have felt - that you will feel whole, welcomed and wanted. There is always space in God's heart for you.
Christopher West is eternally in a teaching and passing mode. Just love him!
Thank you, Christopher and Matt for this amazing interview. It really opened my eyes and I have faith it will change my life forever 🙏🏻
Loved this video. It convinced my boyfriend why contraception is wrong and why we should have as many children as God wants for us within reason.
Thank the Lord for Christopher West and others like him for speaking sense about these issues. I find his talks to be well reasoned and supportive, thank you for having him on the show!
Two of my favorite Catholic people. Thank you both. ❤
This was unspeakably incredible. I had never understood until he spoke those blessed words proclaiming that a misuse of sex by contraception is blasphemy. I had not supported and had mocked the traditional anti contraceptive view. Finally, I see. Praise God, forever more the glory and honor unto him.
as s homosexual thank you for this video now i understand chastity here i come😊
Chastity is a great virtue designed for a great saint. You can be a great saint, do not fall to the temptation, and pursue chastity.
I will pray.
You're going to be chaste because some people think you should be?
You’re in good company, I don’t have SSA, but chastity is also challenging. Good for you and please know you are so welcome in the church!
Mag God be with you, you have one of the most difficult temptations for a human to deal with
Praying for you 🙏🏻
"Sacramental worldview" or "sacramental reality" is a great way to summarize what this is all about
Married at 20, we saved ourself for marriage. We have been married for 9 years now and have always practiced nfp. We have 4 beautiful children that we would not have had so closely together without the gift of openness to life. Praise be to God. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it. We are open to more children in the future. Trust in God and He will reward you!
I met Christopher when I was about 20. At the time my fiance and I told him we were engaged and he literally leapt for joy. At that same event there was a q&a and a mother with her daughter said that the daughter was a mistake, right after Christopher said nobody is a "mistake." He tenderly looked at both of them and then at the daughter and compassionately explained that she was not a mistake. 😭
Chris West communicates these truths so beautifully
Incredibly profound episode. Worth 10 careful re-listens. Thank you.
So sick of people not treating each other as sacred.
LEEEEEEET'S DO ITTTTTT.
Pun intended or not?! 😮
Wow. I wish I had this, but I’m glad I have this here for my children!
I am so thankful for your anwser on the second question. We are struggling with accepting our fertility with having infant twins - the desire for one another in time of fertility and exhaustion with caring for the family in non-fertile time - no desire for intimacy at the end of a day... And we were searching for an anwser how to take advantage of the desire but not to get pregnant and also not be in sin... And we got some vague responses in sense: "the teaching is at is is, but in the bedroom there are only you two and God..." And I think that thoes vague interpretations are really dangerous. And then i found this video and am greatly thankful for your anwser! God bless you!
God bless your family. Nfp can definitely be a cross, but it’s also a blessing too. Look into Marquette method to space children it’s licit and very helpful.
This was perfect for today when we want to point the fingers at the Vatican while ignoring the planks in our own condom colored glasses
Mine are Magnums..
Both are wrong
@@celestial-mq9scit's never wrong to call out heresy.
Why isn't this mandated in Catholic school education?
It was in my Catholic school. We did several semesters on Theology of the Body for Teens, thank God
This should be mandatory in all schools regardless of affiliation.
“Grace perfects nature.” Wow! ❤
Where was this kind of teaching in my life? I needed this about 20 years ago. I would have done things a lot differently.
Woah first time I'm watching something live, awesome. Good timing nice.
Except it's not live. It's a premiere (prerecorded.)
Love when you have Christopher West on! So good.
Always love your content. Right now especially, it feels like a welcome break from all the in fighting surrounding Fiducia Supplicans.
This has become one of my favorite podcasts. I am Cuban and I would love for this information to come out in Spanish as well. God bless you.
I've only seen a few shorts of Christopher West. Clearly I've missed out, what an incredible and clear speaker!
Very impactful. It's an amazing experience to open the mind to new ideas that begin to unwind decades of worldly experience and wrong. Even ones we cling to.
Thrsdy's last line of "you're welcome, I love you" was rhe beautiful cherry on top of this wonderful sunday of truth, love, qnd charity ❤
This is amazing and mind blowing. I can’t believe I’ve been 4 decades on the earth and have never heard this wisdom!
Ahh this is so exciting!! When Matt was in Sydney, he mentioned that he was going live with Christopher West and I have been so excited ever since!!
Protestant fan here, loving this conversation! I have a quick question on the topic of female ordination: I can see and understand that a women cannot fill the role of spiritual father that the priest is meant to have, but is there a female equivalent, a spiritual mother role for the congregation? And if not, what is the explanation there?
It's been a lot of fun seeing how other Christians work through some of these big questions, so thanks so much for the content you all create, it's truly a gift!
Yes, nuns are spiritual mothers.
Nuns? Mothers and sisters. Some of the greatest saints are women... Think of the Virgin Mary: The greatest human to ever have lived (aside from Jesus of course, but he was both human and divine).
A priest represents/ is in the person of Jesus, the Church is His Bride, we are children of their union. So yes, the Church herself is Mother through her teaching and ministering to the health of our souls on the way to the Father.
Okay I see. So then would you say there isn't really a direct analog to the priest as father, but the Church herself fills that role?
Thank you. So much. This exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it.
I was following this very funny couple on social media until they said when asked if they waited until marriage that they had to "try it before you buy it, it's like a car, you have to try it before you buy it."
It was so sad to me that spouses would use each other like an item, such as a car.
I think I know who you’re talking about. Is the guy Italian and the girl American? When I heard that I was so put off. They kind of scoffed at people who are waiting
I’d like to see a conversation with Christopher West and Dr John Delaney from the Ramsey network. I think the TOB would be great for him to learn about because he talks about anxiety being the bodies reaction and talk about what is your body tryin to tell you
So much godly wisdom in this show i will have to listen to it again to grasp it. Ive dwelt with same sex attraction all my life. I am married 28 years, have awesome children by invetro who i love and i am in turmoil. My wfe has no respect. The Lord is always failthful and that is what i depend on. I am stuck and lowly.
May the Holy Spirit guide you as you seek truth in turmoil. I will pray for you tonight, my friend. Just remember that God loves you and he still has a plan for you even when sin and darkness seem to be wrecking that plan.
Are you a woman? How does your “wife” have no respect?
Just cling to Christ and feed on His love and His sacrifice hour by hour. He will bring you through until He returns to take us home!
God bless you Christopher and Matt
Just decided to watch this after a relapse of a 8 month sobriety of porn. So good to listen to the Wisdom of the Church in this matter and it gives me strenght to not relapse again. I shall look for confession.
God bless you in your journey.
Great Interview thank you very much … this kind of information we have to put out there 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻God bless you all
I got 5 beautiful kids because of the Catholic Church teaching on sex and marriage, not a view I initially held like many we are influenced by our culture, a product of the sexual revolution.
And I owe a thank you to Christopher West, many other apologists and the CCC for gifting me with such happiness and fulfillment.
Also owe the sleepless nights lol but wouldn't have it any other way.
Just had this conversation with my wife ...
This is the sex education that needs to be taught to teens and young adults.
Thanks for this great video. I have a situation I'm working out and it's a bit tough... This video got me thinking, and it's making a lot of sense, beautiful stuff.
My situation is, I'm in a non-marital relationship with the woman I love, we are in our late 20s. We've been together for almost 5 years and we've always been on a spiritual path, exploring different ways and faiths. Well, my path is fulfilled, I feel, in Christianity. Christ has been calling me for years and now I'm finally letting Him in my life, shedding fears and repenting, accepting Him.
The thing is, we are sexually active and see sex as the beautiful spiritual thing that it is. But, she doesn't share my zeal for the Church and Christ. She is coming with me to Catechumenat (OCIA) and likes the universally spiritual content, but she doesn't feel it as her faith exclusively or identify as Christian.
But the thing I want to write about here is the sexual aspect... She wouldn't want to stop using contraception or have any children at this time. She doesn't even know I'm thinking about this topic and changing my views on contraception, but she would disagree and misunderstand, as she doesn't agree with many of the Church's teachings in general and of course the ones about sex. I didn't bring the topic up in connection to Christianity, but just casually, and she disagrees and stands her ground on the pro contraception idea and not marrying yet, and i think she wouldn't like a Church wedding even if we do get married in the future (maybe at my wish this could be arranged...)
So, I don't know what to do, i feel as if i'm torn between the Church and her. I truly love her,she is my beloved woman, and would love to spend my life with her as my wife. But she would not become my wife officially or have children (therefore would not stop using condoms). She would say that us and some animals is enough family for her. If i'm honest, i'm not too keen on having children at this time myself, but i recognize West's and the Church's points on life and God's will and the sacramental reality of sexuality. And in light of this, i would love to do right in the Eyes of the Lord.
This is all quite new and unexpected for me, but Jesus has been slowly drawing me to the Bible and his church for years. To tell her all this as i feel it, she would probably think of me as a backwards old fashioned man.
I never ever wanted to impose any ideology or practice on her before, but Christ has found me, and now I feel some despair around this sex thing which is actually very important. I feel like i'm living in sin, but i love her and she disagrees. How to sort this out with a positive loving outcome?
Somebody please share a thought or two if you have it.
God bless,
T
God bless you! I think deep down you know the answer, but you’re scared of what that means. One thing you said stands out. You said that Christ has been slowly drawing you toward Himself. And then you said if you tried to explain that to her, she would think less of you. Could you truly imagine spending your whole life with someone that you can’t share your most intimate thoughts and dreams? What a crushing reality. I say you owe it to yourself to share these feelings with her. If she cannot accept this, perhaps you have your answer. Not an easy situation, but neither is living against your conscience.
@@CarolynRobinson814 Well i did speak to her again, explaining my views and my faith, and she was very open and understanding. But she still doesn't want these things right now, even though she agrees on the whole issue more or less. What i mean is, she agrees with everything more or less, the theology of the body, but to stop using condoms and/or have children right now, or get married right now, is a no. For me it's also a big deal if i think of doing these things out of the blue, as my views are still in the middle of the shift, but deep down i would like that, even if it was a shock.
Like i said, i love her dearly and she willingly by herself, without me even asking, started attending OCIA with me. She is an awesome girlfriend, and i did not expect that level of respect toward a faith that was so new and a sudden change in me for her, and it was drawing me, and she was willing to come support me and show respect to my new found faith as my woman.
I did hope my conversion wouldn't interfere with our relationship, as she has known me for half a decade as a non-Christian. Her conversion, if it came, should come to her naturally, i believe. It would be very self centered and harsh for me to leave the woman i love for not accepting Catholicism with me. Conversion should come from within, and the more intimate, radical life decisions that stem from it as well, not from outside factors and forcing. So i think your implying i should leave her is very harsh and uncalled for. But thanks for replying.
I'm getting baptized this Easter, and I will talk to my priest about this soon, as it's a pending trouble for me. But i do see myself as living my life with her, and if that means more patience regarding these things, so be it. I don't want us to live in sin though, and that is the biggest trouble on my mind, as you probably know. She is actually already baptized since birth, but not a practicing Catholic. Her faith is more of a natural theology, non-denominational, she likes that sort of freedom. We will see.
Anyway, God bless and thank you.
@@CarolynRobinson814 The first cornerstone of marriage is freedom (not forcing). And it's her body, the decision to have children and marry does not lie with me alone. Sometimes true love takes patience and disagreeing and working things out are sometimes necessary. She is thinking of going to a Theology of the body seminar to me next week, so good changes happening :)
One man speaking at the time..
Wow, wish I could've/would've heard this in highschool... although I suppose the pain of learning the hard way can be a blessing.
I am glad someone made the "stand up comedy" remark.😂
1:45:13 "It was beautiful. It was like drinking from a fire hydrant." Great review by Matt :D
Based solely on the first half hour of this talk, the watch to like ratio should be one to one.
Oh my Lord. This video is beautiful, amazing. I have no better words to describe it. I wish I had.
1:11:25 mark of the video - you know Matt said something inappropriate that required that quick edit/cut of the video 😂
Mate, this is so good.
What if someone has had a vasectomy because they ignorantly did not know? How can they be forgiven?
I felt like the point of a seminarian doing a mock mass had the potential to be articulated so well but flopped from the honing in on “mockery” as opposed to not real or official. I felt like the point would have adequately been, a bishop does not rush to make the seminarian a priest so that the past (untrue) mass would be made valid. Much like non marital sex as undoing its reality through marital attempts at sex after being deemed as married.
Christopher West! Classic and classy!
That final point on euthanasia actually brings up the issue that if you reverse that, it becomes obvious that contraception is the cause of the movement toward euthanizing everyone
On the stat for NFP, it’s around 98.4% efficacy (for Marquette, less for others)
It’s effective, but I only have about 6 or 7 available days to use. It’s effective because we never get to have sex.
@@theresa.m. I would recommend learning the Creighton Method. I learned that one first and then the Marquette method from my
sister. We use them in conjuction and have way more green days! And with far more peace of mind with the monitor.
This is/was so good and the timing is right on. I am wondering how the Catholic Church would view people who marry past the point where conception is possible (i.e., post-menopause). Surely there is still a metaphor of the glorious and the sacred in people who genuinely and deeply fall in love "late in life" and are free to marry (?)
My question during the live chat was just this - the lack of any teaching or preaching about it, which is just to me that the church does not take the same position
As long as the couple is physically capable of having sex, freely enters the Union, has no other impediments, they can marry regardless of age. The marriage bond is enacted by the exchange of conjugal rights, not by the promise of having kids with each other.
@@rn7422 The Catholic Church allows for post-menopause marriage.
Sweet to see that he come back to be onside our video. Neet to meat the male who now come to be near on video to view. Thank
This title threw me off!🤣
This guy must get around 🤣
HAPPY FEAST OF THE HOLY FAMILY!!!
I want to hear his response to young kids abusing Theology of the Body and using it as a green light before marriage
How could a Church teaching be culpable for people willfully misunderstanding it?
I've never heard this. What's the rationale?
I’ve never heard of TOB being used like this. Can you provide any examples?
Who is doing this?! Never heard of any such thing. But people misuse the Bible too.
I heard of them abusing nfp not sex before marriage
I became Catholic a year and a half ago. My 4th and youngest child is 16 and I’m in my 40s. We originally wanted more, but it just never happened. I’d rather not have more children at this point because of the huge age gap, and starting over sounds hard. Maybe it’s just selfishness. We haven’t used any form of contraception for many years, so I tell myself that I’m open to life, yet I have a feeling of freedom that I don’t have to abstain or make hard decisions about having more children, because it’s very unlikely to happen after 16 years. But I kind of feel guilty about the relief I feel, and question if I’m really open to life. It’s like I’m telling God I’m open and at the same time in my heart, cringing and saying please no! I wonder if my reasons for not wanting more are valid. My husband is almost 50.
I'm 30, my husband is 41, and I feel a lot of this.
I don't think you need to feel guilty about how you feel. Your actions matter more.
You can trust Christ with it all. He understands your situation! He is the Author of life .
What Christopher said at 15mns is great . Is doable. 12 yrs ago was my last sex relation. Believe it please believe it whatever is hard for us once we put it in hand's God we are free of it.
What a blessing
7:24 this man is a GENius.
19:51
I had to pause after this line from the 'daaaaaang' moment.
"Condom colored glasses" will haunt me now :D
All of us should be working toward marital chastity.
This is so beautiful! 😭
Thank you for this wonderful interview! Please continue to invite guests who edify and call us closer to Christ and his Church.
For anyone who wants to know what's kosher in marriage, listen to Tim Gordon's married catholic sex episode!
Do you have a link for that show?
A simple question I ask myself to understand what is the correct direction for sexuality is as follows: Is there any sacrifice that precedes the pleasure? Masturbation, birth control, sex before marriage, homosexuality is all pleasure and no sacrifice.
Amazing man, so profound.
So, where can we buy that shirt that Matt's wife used to wear? I need one!!!
If there's ever a movie about this guy, he should be played by Steve Zahn
1:13:39
Priesthood isn’t a profession. “Priesthood is spiritual fatherhood.” I’m in 100% agreement.
But isn’t this argument slightly insufficient to answer my interlocutor’s next question: “well, is there not spiritual motherhood? And isn’t Mary our spiritual mother? So why are spiritual mothers denied the priesthood?”
Most of these points also apply to the Church's teaching on abortion.
I'm a woman and agree with you Matt! Women and stand up comedy....😂 so bad....
Question: Chris talks about giving yourself as a gift to your spouse. What if your spouse doesn't want your gift, or least not as often as you feel compelled to give it?
Do you often force people to accept gifts they don’t want?
@@CarolynRobinson814 no, but it is a big problem for any relationship when a gift is declined. Honestly, it's considered quite rude to refuse a gift, is it not?
The husband has a cross of laying down his life for his bride. Figure out your wifes love language and serve her more. Pray for her more. Then she'll want your gift more. Her cross is perhaps being happy with your gift and putting your marriage at the high priority it should be, as we did promise our licit bodies to each other at marriage. Fast and pray.
I was hoping he would address NFP more. There's information out there saying that using NFP to permanently avoid children is a sin of contraception. Also, what constitutes grave reasons to avoid pregnancy? We already have three children and feel our family is complete. And I am particularly done after having three difficult pregnancies and three difficult births. Do I really need to continue bearing children to not live in sin?
Try videos on the Theology of the Body Institute channel for a more in depth take on this.
Go by what the church teaches, not by information from UA-camrs who don’t use current church teaching as a basis for what they are saying is a sin or not a sin.
The church doesn’t give a list of reasons to put off another child because every single couple and their is different. A serious reason for one couple might not be for a different couple. I’ve noticed in my own life that God usually gives you more than one serious reason to postpone a pregnancy. If you need further discernment after discussions with your spouse and prayer, you could always ask your spiritual director for guidance.
NFP is wonderful for marriages I think - it forces communication and prayer with your spouse as well as fosters a respect for martial intimacy and learning to love your spouse in all areas of life, not just physically.
If you want a place to start, A Sinners Guide to NFP is a short read, and ToB institute has good content as well (as stated by someone else).
From what I've read, the specifics on family planning are vague on purpose because it depends on each individual family's medical, financial and spiritual needs. Each family is to pray and seek spiritual counsel to determine when NFP is appropriate.
@@kailaleebabineau3962 100%
Using self control and knowledge of your body to make sure you are free to rightly care for the children you already have been given cannot be wrong. It comes down to self control, a fruit of the Spirit. Having more and more children because of lack of self control, by contrast, is clearly not right! Unless a person has endless resources, which most of us don't. The Lord completely understands our limitations and He expects us to behave responsibly.
Christopher West is saying procreation is secondary, just like Margaret Sanger said.
It’s so strange to hear this truth being boldly proclaimed after listening to decades of miserable, sterile, modern “sexual ethics”. No irony that there’s no life in the latter.
Where canI hear the series Christopher mentioned on this video about just finishing filming on love and responsibility??
Great stuff
If marriage is a lifetime of love, then it's only consummated at death. Annulment on demand at any time before that.
EXCELLENT.