Mark Manson: How to Stop Caring About Things That Don’t Matter - For Good
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2017
- Bestselling author Mark Manson has a fresh, irreverent perspective to share in the conversation about what brings true happiness and fulfillment in life. No matter how great your life is, you’re always going to encounter pain and struggle - the question is, how will you react to it?
Mark Manson is a New York Times bestselling author, blogger, and entrepreneur. Mark is known for his unique brand of life advice or, as he puts it, “personal development that doesn’t suck.” His writing has been featured on Forbes, Time, and CNN among others, and his website, MarkManson.net, boasts over 2 million readers a month. His new bestselling book is called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life,” where he talks about how the key to living a better life isn’t caring about more, but rather focusing on less.
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Ready to let go of the things that don’t matter? Use these quick links to catch the highlights:
1:41 - What inspired Mark to write the blog post that launched it all.
3:45 - What “not giving a f*ck” actually means (it’s not indifference!).
5:41 - The value of being OK with feeling bad sometimes.
7:56 - Why you should hope for a life full of “good problems.”
17:39 - Why certainty is the enemy of growth.
19:55 - How to make peace with criticism.
22:01 - What Mark has learned to not give a f*ck about in his life.
What’s next? Watch this playlist to develop habits for success: ua-cam.com/play/PLAxUz0wM51b9Xu5cBwKUPV2PjPF1wQmGN.html
Mark Manson is indeed one of the most enlightening motherfuckers I've ever seen in my life.
The Jas Perspective is skewed
How fabulous to be alive in a day and age where such humor, vulnerability and REALNESS are shared and celebrated. Super empowering. Thank you for this
Great information! 1. Asking the tough questions. 2. What other people think of me.
Fantasic
+Marni M - This book is literally none of the above. Have you read it? It's essentially just a glorified rant/preaching session in which he gives no practical advice whatsoever. Just writes some vague, conventional, armchair wisdom, and peppers it with enough profanity to make it seem edgy. This book was a complete wast of time and a total money grab.
@@scottk1525 Seems as if the majority disagree, 4400 amazon reviews at 4.5+ stars! lol Kindly fuck off!
@@scottk1525 Do you have any other suggestions, Scott?
“You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and embarrassment to others.”
This is so liberating for perfectionists like me who want to be liked by all
I am such a perfectionist
This explains a lot.
Disappointment Panda is my hero: 'Don't hope for a life without problems, there's no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems'. That's what I need! Maybe Panda ruins the party for a while but then give so much power that you think: it was worth it to sacrifice one show. It's not important how many times you fall, what matter is that you get up one more time.
1. I should give more F to my value, to how I perceive myself, to who I am.
2. I should absolutely stop giving a F about what anybody could think of me.
What I've learned from this episode :
- Not giving a F means being comfortable being me.
- I should always face the hard stuff. There's a personal satisfaction solving that problem.
- We all have some hard stuff we do that we actually sadistically enjoy. Do that, that's your thing.
- Always ask yourself "why ?". What you give your intention to must be worth it.
- Be authentic.
- Haters gonna hate. There will always be people criticizing. Cope with it. When you do things is actually when people start to talk.
- Be comfortable with pain and hard stuff. Feel it. It's human. Then get over it.
- Be strong.
- Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Thanks for all this knowledge !
Love this guy - he's so real, funny and likeable. And yet he's not trying to be liked. There's something in that!
"You can't be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and embarrassment to others."
Wow, keeping it real. Loved this episode so much! It's what I needed to hear and watch. Thank you, Marie and MarieTV crew! TOO good.
fuck man, that quote has just given me an epiphany
AMBER J Amen 🙏🏻
That was my favourite quote in the whole book
Love it 👍
I was always a people pleaser always trying to avoid all sorts of conflicts but Mark's book totally changed my perspective....now I don't invite conflict but don't even fear to face one when needed to. Secondly, I have accepted that problems are never ending & it's only through solving problems that real fulfillment can be felt.
Thanks a lot Mark ❣️
I love how you really READ these books, Marie, and respond to what moves and touches you. I've read other interviews that are kind of interesting, but a shallower interaction because the interviewer is asking qauestions and giving the author a platform, but they didn't really read and engage with the book. So. Thank you!
Well said
I don't know how to put my appreciation for all that you have done into words. For a 17 year old who loses herself at times like me, you really are a life saver.
“When you try to be liked by everybody, you end up being loved by no one.” 21:30 starts at 20:00
BEST dating advice ever. Being authentic requires real vulnerability and is hard...but you can't make genuine connections without it. It's especially hard if you "learned" as a child that your authentic self was not lovable.
I need to give a zero fuck about how long it's taking me to work out what I give a fuck about!
This year has been a breakthrough for me - I'm finally not giving a fuck about what my family thinks of me. My whole life I've been waiting for them to understand me, accept my work, and accept who I actually am rather than who they want me to be. I realized me trying to please them was also attracting people like them into my life (more psychopaths and narcissists), Letting go of their need to love me for who I am was the biggest release of negative energy I've ever experienced. I have deeper relations with others now because of it and Im finally able to have a deep sense of happiness and well being - also i now have the strength to stop trying to please all the haters in my life. there are many who scapegoat me, but now i can finally see through it all - what a blessing. I've never heard of Mark before today, but in the interview, i agree with all he shared, as it mirrored my experience this year. Thanks Marie for always inspiring and keeping it real!
Emotions are to be accepted and are signals for motion and change....they motivate you!
Yes! Inspiration and information!
tf???
I would like to give less of a fuck about what people think about me and my brand, and more of a fuck about growing my brand!!
Jessica Hylton are we related? lol is your hylton family from Jamaica?
Samantha Salmon hey Samantha (this is my other account haha) YES!! Jamaica! Email me? Jessica@jessicainthekitchen.com
Jessica Hylton Yes Jessiker! Zero free fucks available! Yoo.
Jessica Hylton All the best...
Jessica Hylton This one word will help you..."START"
When I first met Mark in 2014 at a conference I had already come across his work and writing and since then he's just gone on to become better and better. Yet he's still so down to earth when we meet up around the world.
Real truth, raw and damn funny. I even asked to include a short piece from 'that' amazing article in my next book because it was so dear to my heart around freedom. Love that you had him on. He deserves to be heard (and to bring more laughs to the world)
Cheesy as this may sound, this was life-changing for me. Thank you both.
PARASDOX, it did sound cheesy, but I hope it’s true! I’m happy for you. Who gives a shit what others may think. 😀
@parasdox same for me accepting the truth changed my life entirely and made me a entirely different and successful person which I always thought I won’t be.
Love it 👍
Heck yea :)
I highly doubt it.
Best thing I ever heard, "Stop wasting your energy on things you can't control".
I read the book. He sounds authentic in what he believes. It is true that many authors talk about positivism and staying upbeat at all times. LIke he said, you can´t be happy all the time. There are times when you are going to feel low. It is good to accept our emotions as they come. In another interview he mentions that some of us think we are really good at something, but he is sure there is an eleven year old better than we are. With that in mind, what that really means is, don´t fuss about being the best at everythiing. It doesn´t mean not trying hard, it means that there is always going to be someone better than us. And to end in this same line of thought, i quote what he said: "A man who thinks he knows everything knows nothing". Thanks Marie for the interview. Greetings from Mexico
i like this a lot! when he talks about his dream about being a rock star, then he realizes he doesn't like to do the work , thats a big one for most of us. do we really like the process of becoming what we dream of becoming, all that is involved.
and of course the part where he talks about feelings letting them just come and not giving a fuck about it not beating yourself up. thats awesome!
Jjc213 yes. Reading that in the book kinda opened my eyes and then I shortlisted what I actually wanted to do.
Hits the nail on the head
I give zero fucks to what assumptions I make about others.
i also wanted to become a rock star then realize i couldn't even remember the words of the songs i was gonna sing. i didn't wanna do the work
HE IS DIFFERENT.................i love how he is thinking..........totally logical
Precisely :)
"Don't try"
Charles Bukowski
That's all this giggly school boy has to say to make it easier to understand.
@@uncreativeranter it's also what mark Manson wrote in his book "the subtle art of not giving a fuck"
Marie asks really great questions
So happy to see Mark on my show! Loved his book, thinking of rereading it again 😝 One thing I should give more of a fuck about is nourishing the positive relationships in my life. I have so many great people in my life but I often hyper focus on the negative. One thing I should give less of a fuck about is what other people think of me, or what I ASSUME others are thinking of me. I swear it's like an automated reaction in my brain to assume x or y person is thinking horrible things about me. Thanks so much for your book Mark and thanks Marie for a great interview.
I just read it and I'm ready to read it again. I got it on audible now too so I can listen to it whenever I want. There are certain parts of the book I need to hear on certain days.
Mark Manson's book ingeniously describes the fundamentals of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and nonjudgmental acceptance. So inspiring! I have been recommending it to many of my clients. Thanks Mark and Marie!
I just doen one course on mindfulness.
I want to talk to you about it.i feel ur the right person to talk so Can you please tx me on gamil .
My gmail is vikram.more7@gmail.com
It's a very good introduction to ACT you're very right.
Love it 👍
They both have Buddhist roots. Mark had Buddhist roots growing up and the fundamentals of ACT have similar mindfulness and values based philosophies
His words really hit home. That book is amazing!
By far the most life-changing book I've ever read in my life! Thank you Mak Manson!
Being candid. Keeping it simple. Life changing
Wow. This clarified so much for me about what I want to do with my life. Asking what activities I derive pleasure from the struggle is a clear starting place. Thanks for this!
"if they give me Sh*t about saying f*ck..."
I was really really in the pain before I started to read this book. I've got some guts that I can handle all the difficulties and problems around me by reading his book. Cheers! And thanks Marie, your interview with him is awesome, and I can feel how much you actually like his book and you asked interesting questions that the readers might want to question him. It was very meaningful 30 minutes watching this video.
I needed this today! As an artist and business owner, I'm always trying to please everyone else. Taking care of yourself takes more work than pleasing others,. "Hope for a life of Good Problems!" I love that phrase!
It was wonderful to turn on UA-cam and see Mark’s face. I began following him back in 2012 when I first began my company. Now to hear and see him. Good to know perseverance and truth still works. Great interview.
Yes! His book was one of the best things I've ever read. Love this conversation ♥
Loved this book and this conversation should be bundled when you purchase the book going forward! Thanks Marie!!!
I love how we receive the messages we need to
hear exactly at the right time when we need them most. I hung on every word of
this with the intent of putting the advice into practical application for what
fits in my own life. Thanks to both of you for reminding me of what’s truly important.
It helps to hear that it’s okay to feel shitty but it’s also important to
navigate our ways out of the shittiness. I’m ready to giv’r again!...and then
fall on my ass…and then giv’r some more :).
Wow, really impressed with Marie. Outstanding interviewer.
I love it when the author is such a unique individual, but also when the interviewer is too!
What an amazing book! Finished it last week...you have to read this!
She speaks so well, I'm impressed.
Certainty is enemy of growth! omg, I resinated with this one so badly :D Yes, some shit you just have to get through alone or by trying. Thank you for this reminder!
TheGogilily hola mami
Just finished reading this book. Impressed with very genuine & real life learning lessons.
Just read Mr. Manson's book. Outstanding and brilliantly written. Thank you Mark. Really opened my eyes to rethink my values, set 'realistic' goals and hone in on what's truly important. If you don't, you really won't appreciate what you have and what is obtainable in your life and certainly in professional career. Great video. Thank you Ms. Forleo.
Mark Manson is awesome. So are you Marie.
This book changed my perceptions. Thank you Mark Manson.
Love the warnings Marie! Always classy 👏😍
I'm a big fan of Mark...........but i have to say the lady who interviewed him was exceptional..........nice job
I love to hear from this man,... I spent my precious 28 minutes hearing this interview.... there's a lot awesome truth of what he is sayin... I will read your book man..
Thank you Mark Manson! Been following your blog since 2013. Much love from PH
This is a really insightful interview! I'm about halfway through Mark's book an I'm loving it so far. I can't wait to make a video about it when I'm done.
I have this book on my audible, I think I'm ready to listen to it again! Thank you Mark!
Hello Marie and Mark,
Just watched your interview and let me say it really couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m facing quite a bit of adversity and this week has been tough as a result. It’s been tough to get out of my head about this and keep it moving and this video really helped to put it all in perspective. I just ordered marks book cause I want more. Thank you so much and have a great day.
Mark did a great job by writing this wonderful book
I appreciate mark for his honesty.
Big thanks !!! Great listening too 🙏🌟💖
I love you mark Manson, you change my life I learn more from you !!🙏🏽
I am at chapter 6.. but loving it till now. Completely agree with Mark on all the point he has mentioned.
"we all have the pain that we get some sick pleasure out of [when doing what we love], and we have to leverage that." GREAT STUFF!
Finally somone speaks my mind and tell it as it is.... the aim of life isn't happenes, the aim is living life and experiencing all feelings!
One of the best interviews, thank you Marie and Mark. Very refreshing and inspiring - it reframed my thinking about my "current problem"...now i rather think that it is "a life case", which needs to be sorted out. So - A) i have a power & B) I always can do something about it. Thanks!!!
Read this book on impulse and it was so refreshing. Great interview. I appreciate how you dug a little deeper than a typical show in this type of format.
I get more from him than I thought I would
Love this! Totally going to read the book! Thanks Marie and Mark 😘😘
this woman who does the moderation is incredible beautiful in my eyes. I think what makes her beautiful is how she connects with the guy and really cares about the answers, pays attention to him and picks up his threads of communication. On top, of course, her physical appearance is awesome.
Delicious
This talk / interview gave me more confidence 🥰🌱
This interview was fantastic!! Marie, you were asking great questions that showed that you understood the content and allowed Mark to elaborate on his thought processes, which are so real and applicable. I also laughed so hard when Mark was talking about the different forms of criticism, and he said "versus Neanderthals banging on the keyboard"... we've all come across them once or twice before! lol
oh my goodness, the " if they give me any sh*t for saying f*ck, sentence"
Great stuff! Mark you are a Rock Star......! A life changing book...thank you! Thanks Marie for having Mark on!
This book saved my life.
Mary, thank you for this very special guest, I'm reading Mark Manson's blog for a while now and I love it. Really simple things but going really deep...Great job !
Was given his book as a Christmas present and it has changed my life. It pissed me off at first cause I really didn't want to think about my own painful shit, but it was so fucking eye-opening to take some responsibility and felt like a burden was released. We get to choose our mindset regarding our problems and we're responsible for the solutions that work for us. "It's not about eliminating problems, it's about simply finding something more meaningful and worthwhile."
What a genius !
He must've been through a lot.
Yeahhh... if u read the book, you'll find out the reason why he is become really great now...
I want him to be my therapist really
🙁
Lol
I can be your therapist. I'm serious. Email me: shees1993@rediff.com
His smile is warm :)
Brilliant! Life changing.. Thank you Marie, thank you Mark, it was such a pleasure to watch this video! 👍
Cant wait to read the book! 😊
I love you Marie! I'm one of the many many people inspired by your program. More power! :D
Love the point about the "why." Really gives me something to think about.
been reading his blog forever and its so funny to hear him being so respectful and nice, like are you sure this is the same guy who wrote all those articles?
I love love Mark!!! He is so real
I love Mark Manson and this is a great interview, thanks Marie
This is superb, thank you ❤️🙏🏼🌷 xx
The most powerful video yet!
Wow, this is so enlightening, I love the fact that you don't have to have dreamed or have a vision of your success. I love what I do but have never envisioned becoming a world health leader in naturopathic medicine that I have now achieved. I am now building quote on quote an online business with writing and courses. I find it really hard but once again I do love doing it. This conversation has given me a much deeper perspective to what I am doing in Life. Thankyou so very much :)
I didn't want this interview to end..engrossing it is!!
So true about fear. Bravery is overcoming fear - not the absence of fear. If you do not feel fear you cannot over-come fear and in a very real sense can never be brave.
Love this perspective Paul. If we're never challenged, how do we rise and challenge ourselves for more? Thank you for watching!
- Team Forleo
great insights on the book and interview! i love it and thanks so much for interviewing him!
Loved this episode! I'll have to check out the book!
My school teacher suggested me this book to read and told give this book to other fellows .Just bought this book last week. A must read book .Oh it means after two years ago his book reached to me.
Thanks for this important lesson Marie
Thanks for translating the episode into Arabic. Mark Manson is a wonderful person and his presentation is very helpful💙💙
I have made a 5 point rule after reading his book , hope u guys appreciate:
1. Take responsibility for your past present and future and thus dont depend unnecessarily on others and dont live in denial or play the victim card, consider pain as feedback.Remember that with great responsibility comes great strength.
2. Develop a deeper vision for seeing high values by overcoming fear of change by dropping ego/entitlement and remember that action can be motivation too (so shut up and just do it)
3. Good values make you process oriented and thus keep your feet grounded (oneness within is preserved)
4. When you one within you become committed and commitment is freedom.( As you avoid giving unworthy fucks)
5. When you are free you become part of a higher body and you live and die with fulfillment.
Great job.
thanks God for Marie, I found Simon Sinek first at her Interview. Also many of great inspirational author, including this video.
xoxo
I resonate very well with Manson's experience of writing something and deleting it moments after combing over it. There's something so satisfying about creating something, analyzing its flaws, then destroying it so something better can take its place.
His theories also remind me of a book called "Antifragility" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, which tells us that the things that are around us as humans can benefit us despite how dangerous they might appear. Physical, mental, and emotional fitness, which benefit society at large, are stressed in moments of hardship, and as long as you are alive afterwards to be able to analyze what you went through, you will gain from the experience. Not only will you benefit from negative experiences, but generations of people ahead of you will benefit from those things.
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck about certain things, and caring very much about other things, is extremely beneficial in a world that is so connected, and I'm so glad someone got the idea published.
You can't expect to be liked by everyone!! Important lesson in life.
Amazing thanks so much
Life changing message 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙌🏿
This was very helpful, thanks Marie!
This is truly AMAZING!
What a wise man.
Just finished read the book and found this video.. really helpful..
First post on his blog archive, quoting "This Is Water". Instant Like. The book is great too.