The Least Secret Society in America

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  • @BarstoolSportsTV
    @BarstoolSportsTV  3 роки тому +146

    Caleb Pressley investigates what's really going on at the University of Alabama and how a secret society called "The Machine" is rigging who wins the prestigious prize of Homecoming Queen.
    WATCH NEXT: The Strongest Frat in America - ua-cam.com/video/DpXzB6P3-HM/v-deo.html
    SUBSCRIBE: barstool.link/2O23KUH

  • @jeremygil47
    @jeremygil47 4 роки тому +5713

    "I'm an Instagram model and I'm really pretty"
    "but you have other qualities, right?"
    "no"
    lol the realness

    • @NavyStoner
      @NavyStoner 4 роки тому +25

      was looking for that comment xD

    • @running.yetiii
      @running.yetiii 4 роки тому +169

      kinda thought she was joking .. then saw the blank staring eyes ... nuff said

    • @scottiemanners
      @scottiemanners 3 роки тому +13

      Lol with fake lips and face, she lost any shot at being pretty, so her entire platform is a lie

    • @stevieoneder8091
      @stevieoneder8091 3 роки тому +1

      @@porterethan5550 could you only think of 3 names when making names up for your shitty phishing link?

    • @rohinghosh2685
      @rohinghosh2685 3 роки тому +2

      @@stevieoneder8091 good one

  • @heatalldayy
    @heatalldayy 5 років тому +4122

    Has anyone checked up on the guy that said “what are they gonna do?” ???

    • @pranaysaahit21
      @pranaysaahit21 5 років тому +174

      I went to high school with that dude. Pretty sure he’s alive

    • @heatalldayy
      @heatalldayy 5 років тому +361

      Pranay P keep an eye on him, man, the machine might Epstein him.

    • @mcdouche2
      @mcdouche2 5 років тому +287

      He committed suicide. He shot himself in the back of the head two times.

    • @hiropeck7673
      @hiropeck7673 5 років тому +3

      mcdouche2 deadass??

    • @heatalldayy
      @heatalldayy 5 років тому +12

      mcdouche2 was his name Gary Webb???

  • @TheMikeMase
    @TheMikeMase 6 років тому +7175

    it's so goddamn funny how nervous everyone gets when they start talking about "the machine"

    • @nazzurro
      @nazzurro 5 років тому +15

      @papes zzz Is she some dethbot that hovers in the sky?

    • @andremaines
      @andremaines 5 років тому +180

      Bert Kreischer is a scary dude

    • @m1ckyg21
      @m1ckyg21 5 років тому +64

      @papes zzz lmao, how did you turn an ALABAMA conspiracy into hillary clinton

    • @JordanBoyer69
      @JordanBoyer69 5 років тому +19

      @@m1ckyg21 Both Clintons went to Yale. Home of the Skull & Bones.

    • @JordanBoyer69
      @JordanBoyer69 5 років тому +24

      @Jason Street Wait, how did you even get the assumption I was saying trump is any cleaner than the Clintons?
      Anyways there's articles on Bill Clinton, and Trump BOTH being associated with Epstein. They're all cut from the same cloth in my book, but choose whatever you want to believe.

  • @jackburgess9318
    @jackburgess9318 5 років тому +7471

    How in the world does this guy get a meeting with the Secretary of State

    • @joodge9453
      @joodge9453 4 роки тому +279

      Jack Burgess but they couldn’t get a meeting with Nick Saban

    • @charlotteeolsen8397
      @charlotteeolsen8397 4 роки тому +2

      😂

    • @SolarxPvP
      @SolarxPvP 4 роки тому +190

      @@joodge9453 Nick Saban is both busier and more powerful in the state of Alabama.

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 роки тому +72

      @@joodge9453 Nick Saban could buy and sell the secretary of state 20x over... probably more. The secretary of the state of Alabama would probably shine Nick Saban's loafers.

    • @danpmatz
      @danpmatz 4 роки тому +8

      Does anyone know for sure if that was him probably just a joke

  • @mantistoboggan2599
    @mantistoboggan2599 5 років тому +4617

    I didn’t know Bert Kreischer had this much pull at the University of Alabama

    • @albeyalbert5937
      @albeyalbert5937 5 років тому +54

      @Wolfiejr 94 THANK YOU!!🤣🤣😂🤣😂 I was hoping someone would comment this! #IamTHEMACHINE!

    • @junuthun34
      @junuthun34 5 років тому +3

      perfect hahaha

    • @s.l.9281
      @s.l.9281 5 років тому +50

      What’s funny is his wife is actually UA alumni lol

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 років тому

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀

    • @Penthousepimp10
      @Penthousepimp10 5 років тому +18

      The Machine has like 4 podcast and runs ALABAMA busy ass dude

  • @JChris-ho4jj
    @JChris-ho4jj 5 років тому +1759

    Caleb: Why should you be Homecoming Queen??
    Caroline: I just monetized my Instagram.

  • @gibeshrugs6825
    @gibeshrugs6825 6 років тому +4507

    4 dislikes already, the machine is hard at work

  • @Jdubya4040
    @Jdubya4040 2 роки тому +322

    Crazy how a guy like Caleb busted this wide open years ago and now HBO is like “I think we’ve got something here”

    • @mrwoody1413
      @mrwoody1413 2 роки тому +1

      What is HBO doing?

    • @toprope_
      @toprope_ Рік тому +6

      @@mrwoody1413 he’s joking that caleb is ripping off the channel 5 andrew dude since they just got an HBO special and caleb is doing barstool vids

    • @sophia22223
      @sophia22223 Рік тому +2

      @@mrwoody1413 theres rumors that HBO Max is sending like people with wires to get info on the machine and greek life

  • @jakehouse7745
    @jakehouse7745 6 років тому +2598

    This is incredible, caleb is the best person at barstool

    • @duckfuke2997
      @duckfuke2997 6 років тому +33

      jake house Caleb and Donny are saving the stool

    • @jakehouse7745
      @jakehouse7745 6 років тому +4

      @@duckfuke2997 100%

    • @TheCrypticDog
      @TheCrypticDog 6 років тому +3

      Can't agree more. Legendary

    • @p00ner1sm
      @p00ner1sm 6 років тому

      Duck Fuke - What’s specifically wrong with barstool?

    • @jmac6202
      @jmac6202 5 років тому +11

      Donnie is def number one Caleb coming in a close second

  • @mowler8042
    @mowler8042 5 років тому +562

    The machine definitely had control of the banquet low attendance

  • @loganbradley1367
    @loganbradley1367 6 років тому +3131

    Lol the machine goes way deeper than homecoming queen too.. they actually run politics and most of the businesses in Alabama once they graduate

    • @BlasterTheMaster
      @BlasterTheMaster 5 років тому +214

      That’s nuts

    • @I_am_Dad_Son
      @I_am_Dad_Son 5 років тому +161

      Is it not kind of obvious that's why they'd do all this in the first place?

    • @irshchuculain
      @irshchuculain 5 років тому +241

      They are all lizard people and have a base on the dark side of the moon.

    • @I_am_Dad_Son
      @I_am_Dad_Son 5 років тому +221

      @Colin Deal This is an ignorant statement to the fullest. You realize that corruption at a high level leads to the general population being poorer, dumber, and riddled with crime? There's plenty of shithole countries with billionaire businessmen. Statistics that represent Alabama's general population doesn't reflect how well the elite are doing there in any way, shape, or form.

    • @corneliusflake2103
      @corneliusflake2103 5 років тому +2

      stfu idiot

  • @wesleysmotherman8567
    @wesleysmotherman8567 5 років тому +3013

    why does the secretary of state know that the homecoming queen vote was on tuesday?

    • @jack633
      @jack633 5 років тому +175

      good point lol

    • @alek9411
      @alek9411 5 років тому +656

      A lot of State Politicians in Alabama were in The Machine while they attended UA

    • @GrapeApex
      @GrapeApex 5 років тому +194

      The current senator of Alabama richard shelby was in it. It also goes back to the days of George Wallace and others too

    • @shawndikner
      @shawndikner 5 років тому +52

      Pretty sure he had a heads up on what they would be discussing and was told it was about the election. So, he had done research on the election before hand. But, he looked surprised that the rigging was brought up.

    • @wesleysmotherman8567
      @wesleysmotherman8567 5 років тому +3

      Shawn Ikner valid point

  • @realduox
    @realduox 5 років тому +2267

    When I went to a bama, A girl dropped transferred to Duke and won President there because the machine wouldn't let her win at Alabama lol

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 роки тому +60

      I don't believe this. First off a girl that goes to Bama, the 152nd ranked US college, wouldn't have the credentials to get into 10th ranked Duke. Second, the machine is a joke that wants to seem cool/elite. At my undergrad in a southern US state school, that's how it is too to a degree. Everyone votes for the greek candidate that's greek. Not sure why they like to give it a name at Bama. Maybe to make the below average school seem more cool/prestigous, but in all honesty it holds no more power than homecoming queen elections.

    • @obi173
      @obi173 4 роки тому +231

      @@mikeguidry2577 lmfao do you even know how college admissions works ? there are other factors that go into choosing a school aside from prestige/rankings. maybe when she was choosing initally she wanted to be closer to home,have a full ride or whatever. just bc she goes to bama doesnt mean shes too stupid for duke

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 роки тому +9

      @Tom what is the big deal with homecoming queen? I went to a Canadian university and I don't even know if we had one... Can't see anyone actually giving a fuck about something like that.

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 роки тому +4

      @Tom That's unbelievable. The US post-secondary scene is a complete 180 from the Canadian one.
      From reading the other comments I gathered that it affects more than homecoming queen I was just wondering why that specifically is a big deal to American colleges. Same with fraternities, but I'm also under the impression that certain frats carry immense power as well.

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 роки тому

      @Tom That is very interesting. Thanks for filling me in. I guess in the end power is the end goal of it all, regardless of what you control.

  • @kyle_mutti
    @kyle_mutti 5 років тому +5436

    Can’t tell if it’s a joke or not and I’m 5 minutes in

  • @tailgatetails
    @tailgatetails 5 років тому +415

    That secretary of state was digging himself a hole pretty rapidly

  • @brycemclaughlin2935
    @brycemclaughlin2935 5 років тому +610

    Literally anything with Caleb and sad music in the background is hilarious

  • @551223
    @551223 5 років тому +1011

    This is actually really creepy and intriguing at the same time. I would love someone to go undercover and discover more truths about it

    • @wuido
      @wuido 4 роки тому +41

      551223 the machine won’t allow it

    • @jiveassturkey8849
      @jiveassturkey8849 3 роки тому +30

      They tried, poor guy has been missing since 2013.

    • @Kage777
      @Kage777 2 роки тому

      @@jiveassturkey8849 actually?

    • @ravneetsingh22
      @ravneetsingh22 2 роки тому

      @@Kage777 yes it does exist

    • @jiveassturkey8849
      @jiveassturkey8849 2 роки тому +8

      P Come on now, you couldn’t tell this whole thing is fake? There is no Machine, all of the people in this were in on the video.

  • @oldcouchcushion1545
    @oldcouchcushion1545 2 роки тому +247

    Caroline is actually fucking hilarious. I refuse to believe she's not playing up the vapidness. Her "I don't eat" was perfect

    • @John-vx9uj
      @John-vx9uj Рік тому +2

      She’s not playing it up. I went to bama with her.

    • @V8chump
      @V8chump Рік тому

      It says a lot abiotic her that you think she’s putting this on…😅

  • @pizzamasterf5
    @pizzamasterf5 6 років тому +1000

    This guy could be the next Nathan for you for barstool

    • @RyanD808
      @RyanD808 6 років тому +5

      robertjames12 the Next Nathan for you since that show is over

    • @jmac6202
      @jmac6202 5 років тому +34

      Such a great show it sucks its over

    • @nessh7589
      @nessh7589 5 років тому +19

      The episode where his suit gets bigger and bigger...freaking gold

    • @fatantobelly9156
      @fatantobelly9156 5 років тому +1

      Ness H that show was the best. Wish it was still on

    • @scumtardprime1838
      @scumtardprime1838 5 років тому

      Could be? More like has been... Oh, & not in the bad way!

  • @AMUHighlights
    @AMUHighlights 5 років тому +324

    “Thank you for being out here”
    “You guys here about the machine”
    “The band?”

  • @Nickerooster
    @Nickerooster 6 років тому +604

    Was hoping he was gonna give himself homecoming queen. He deserves it

  • @chrislowicki7233
    @chrislowicki7233 5 років тому +840

    My girlfriend was in Pi Phi at Bama last year and she said that The Machine is 100% real and legitimate.

  • @jaybells7772
    @jaybells7772 6 років тому +2663

    "So I'm an Instagram model and have like 100k followers and really pretty and stuff so I think I'd be good at it"..... Jesus christ

    • @madstv1274
      @madstv1274 5 років тому +86

      “Ill sign”

    • @seang8961
      @seang8961 5 років тому +131

      "but you have other stuff?"
      "no"

    • @sawyerfrench2946
      @sawyerfrench2946 5 років тому +84

      “I don’t eat”

    • @logandihel
      @logandihel 5 років тому +36

      I would vote against her. Shouldn't the queen be somebody girls aspire to be? Not just someone with a insta following

    • @threeidiots54
      @threeidiots54 5 років тому +145

      It’s a joke. Satire. She’s doing it on purpose

  • @brendandevlin6022
    @brendandevlin6022 5 років тому +335

    “I infiltrated a real life fraternity” 😭

  • @cwb1130
    @cwb1130 6 років тому +800

    This is so dumb its amazing. Also interesting to leave out that John Merrill was one of the handful of independents to beat the machine for SGA President way back in 1986

  • @jaimedelgado7529
    @jaimedelgado7529 5 років тому +709

    "I dont eat"
    - istagram model with 100k followers who is really pretty

    • @ApeSheet387
      @ApeSheet387 5 років тому +52

      Those arms say otherwise

    • @taylorl6808
      @taylorl6808 5 років тому +55

      75% chance she ends up on CollegeGirlsDoPorn

    • @ketchupking9972
      @ketchupking9972 5 років тому +12

      @@taylorl6808 100% chance shes not a virgin, so the trash is the same either way - no hymen = no diamond.

    • @bobbishmax62
      @bobbishmax62 4 роки тому +22

      @@ketchupking9972 what? and why have people liked this comment?

  • @jonathanmartin726
    @jonathanmartin726 6 років тому +230

    I ain’t fallin for no banana in the tailpipe.

    • @jessiemartin8199
      @jessiemartin8199 6 років тому +10

      Lmao most poeple pop the hood, he checks the pipes first.

  • @lmt6187
    @lmt6187 6 років тому +328

    Lmfao "No, I don't eat"

  • @helsinki
    @helsinki 5 років тому +1784

    A secret society in Alabama. Are the members all cousins?

    • @dalyriq
      @dalyriq 5 років тому +141

      It's a Family Business.

    • @FunkyMonk4Life
      @FunkyMonk4Life 5 років тому +45

      Durrr... you're so clever. Did you come up with that all by yourself or did your boyfriend help you?

    • @hollywinslett7097
      @hollywinslett7097 5 років тому +5

      Idiot

    • @marcoandrade4872
      @marcoandrade4872 5 років тому +7

      That made me chuckle

    • @elcamaleon97
      @elcamaleon97 5 років тому +1

      booooo

  • @Spachia
    @Spachia 5 років тому +568

    Alabama isn’t the only university that has this sort of extrafraternal society.

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 років тому +3

      This

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 років тому +3

      @DeWayne Phillips I just agreed with the comment bro

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 5 років тому +60

      That's true but secret societies at other colleges and universities are usually interested in keeping to themselves and just networking . The machine at UA is basically different in that it's tentacles spread through the frat system and are largely about the University political system. It's a campus dominant system though behind the scenes.

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 5 років тому +9

      @DeWayne Phillips That's what I hear. Basically, it's training ground for future Alabama politicians and business leaders.

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 5 років тому

      @DeWayne Phillips True but I did mention business as well.

  • @fredsanford3629
    @fredsanford3629 5 років тому +83

    The Politician was part of the Machine listen to his choice of words!

    • @twangerzonly
      @twangerzonly 2 роки тому

      He actually wasn't, and in fact he is one of the few to win the election against The Machine backed candidate.

  • @Robbbyyyyy
    @Robbbyyyyy 6 років тому +334

    Hopefully one day you'll replace Chris Hansen.. "I'm Caleb Pressley with Dateline NBC, why don't you have a seat."

    • @averagejoetube2707
      @averagejoetube2707 5 років тому +4

      LeBron James good luck. The machine extends well beyond college. The machine will not expose itself

    • @billhart3728
      @billhart3728 5 років тому +1

      But wearing a giant suit and a clip on tie

  • @Bellaexe5091
    @Bellaexe5091 5 років тому +414

    As much of a joke as this is, it’s definitely weird that they’re rigging it each time.

  • @orangecoast5325
    @orangecoast5325 6 років тому +205

    Haven't cried this hard in years. Someone help those girls

    • @mattmorrison1408
      @mattmorrison1408 6 років тому +66

      yea ill help em hop on these nuts

    • @jeremym5331
      @jeremym5331 4 роки тому +3

      matt morrison up top bro good one

  • @jasonmuresan8998
    @jasonmuresan8998 5 років тому +208

    It’s no secret, they literally know exactly what group it is lol

    • @Astrohhh
      @Astrohhh 2 роки тому +1

      ... that's why the title of the video says "least" secret society lol

  • @anagatto66
    @anagatto66 5 років тому +72

    “i invited everyone i knew” 5 people

  • @redsox258
    @redsox258 5 років тому +91

    I'm an instagram model, and, idk, i just, like, think im really pretty and stuff. I should win homecomign queen!!

  • @ethanburnell1985
    @ethanburnell1985 4 роки тому +50

    I was laughing my ass off, then he said, "I scheduled a meeting with the secretary of state" and I pissed my pants laughing. Then he got an IG model involved and goddamn best video ever.

  • @poolhall9632
    @poolhall9632 Рік тому +31

    This is true at every university.
    I wrote an op Ed in the Red and Black while I was at the University of Georgia specifically pointing out the fact that a majority of students don’t care about SGA & the elections- only the Greeks. Most student popularity awards are just extensions of their privilege.
    I actually know a former Alabama homecoming queen - MaryMac -
    I should ask her about it.

  • @littletucktruckin1171
    @littletucktruckin1171 6 років тому +141

    As a Alabama fan this is pure gold! Caleb is the best lol

  • @jcreed09
    @jcreed09 5 років тому +168

    What is it with Southerners and their Secret Societies?!

    • @MrKent814
      @MrKent814 5 років тому +56

      Jon Creed where else are they supposed to be racist?

    • @lglettuce2284
      @lglettuce2284 5 років тому +8

      Kent Williams kkk

    • @jcreed09
      @jcreed09 5 років тому +33

      Ok, so now we have "The Machine" in Alabama added to the list. Ku Klux Klan, Knights of the White Camelia, the Night Riders, Vigilance Committees, League of the South, White Knights, White League, The Golden Circle, The 10, Secret Empire, Southern Cross, Brotherhood of whatever, ad nauseam. I wouldn't be surprised if the Legion of Doom or HYDRA were actually formed in the South.

    • @Imabeatyouman
      @Imabeatyouman 4 роки тому +3

      Jon Creed secret societies exist everywhere. Wherever there is information power or money societies form to protect it

    • @adamsapple7193
      @adamsapple7193 4 роки тому +6

      Uhhhh Yale, Princeton, Harvard on and on and on...

  • @herschelsandcastle624
    @herschelsandcastle624 6 років тому +90

    Even this pledge knew about the machine

  • @BeUpAbohvit
    @BeUpAbohvit Рік тому +57

    I "infiltrated" a sorority by immediately bombarding them with repetitive questions about a specific topic. No one was the wiser 😂

  • @abg125
    @abg125 6 років тому +181

    I thought this was about Bert Kriescher

  • @winstonsmith3244
    @winstonsmith3244 4 роки тому +48

    “I slid into your DMs, in a good way!”

  • @kieranpotts3527
    @kieranpotts3527 5 років тому +23

    Finally a news source I can trust and believe to bring me important information

  • @TheCrookedWheel
    @TheCrookedWheel 5 років тому +289

    That insta model is just a lot of a boring person.

  • @thomasfisher1829
    @thomasfisher1829 6 років тому +133

    lol man, I'm not sure you could get Caroline elected homecoming queen even if the machine backed her XD

  • @RileyFreeman8
    @RileyFreeman8 5 років тому +36

    This would have been a perfect video for the giant suit

  • @RyanD808
    @RyanD808 6 років тому +47

    Best video Barstool has ever made

  • @RangersGirlJackie99
    @RangersGirlJackie99 4 роки тому +31

    Dude's asking the Alabama Secretary of State questions about "The Machine" as if John Merrill wasn't the president of the University of Alabama's SGA in 1986-87 😂😂😂 you're talking to it, son!

    • @DL-fl5ul
      @DL-fl5ul Місяць тому

      This doesn't make sense. If you look at the Senate and House of Reps, almost all of them were in greek life and were student council president at their colleges. Not sure why Alabama tries to make it seem they are special. LSU, Ole Miss, UGA, OU, UT all do this.

  • @cooolbeeeans
    @cooolbeeeans 6 років тому +13

    Best thing i've watched since first season of American Vandal. This is GOLD for Barstool

  • @aaronh7412
    @aaronh7412 5 років тому +241

    Think "The Machine" has anything to do with football recruiting??

    • @maxtaylor12
      @maxtaylor12 5 років тому +111

      stop asking questions before they get you

    • @pacenrdizzy
      @pacenrdizzy 5 років тому +2

      No

    • @thato596
      @thato596 5 років тому +4

      Yeah I think so

    • @justarandominternetdude2579
      @justarandominternetdude2579 5 років тому +9

      Prob, gotta show the recruits a good time on campus.

    • @rickyrangel5038
      @rickyrangel5038 5 років тому +5

      Aaron H does anyone know if this man is still alive ?? I think the machine might have got to him

  • @konkeydonged
    @konkeydonged 5 років тому +309

    Somehow that was my first time seeing someone with a southern accent and a Dragon Ball Z shirt.

    • @mathieumansire372
      @mathieumansire372 4 роки тому +12

      he is a weebneck

    • @tylerwilson7385
      @tylerwilson7385 4 роки тому +2

      Come to Florida bro lol

    • @hargle242
      @hargle242 4 роки тому +1

      @@tylerwilson7385 deadass people love dragon ball in florida bruh

  • @nickdorsey8912
    @nickdorsey8912 5 років тому +105

    This is hilarious I can’t believe that this organization exists at the University of Alabama. I just think this whole production was so well done. Kudos to everyone who worked on this especially the main guy and the girl their dynamic was hilarious. Can’t stop laughing.

    • @SargNickFury
      @SargNickFury 2 роки тому +2

      It extends beyond Alabama....

    • @dougtheviking6503
      @dougtheviking6503 Рік тому

      Goes all the way to Washington D.C.

    • @virific76
      @virific76 Рік тому

      @@SargNickFuryno, the machine only exists at alabama, some other schools have similar smaller organizations but the group is only at alabama

    • @SargNickFury
      @SargNickFury Рік тому

      @@virific76 What I mean is their influence. They Machine has messed around with other schools, in many ways, particularly everyone they play year to year in the SEC. TNE may only be at Alabama, but they influence/bribe and generally exploit every one tehy can in the sec.

  • @morganshull9441
    @morganshull9441 5 років тому +638

    Is this a joke? I really can’t tell. Either way this is gold

    • @canadiandrumer
      @canadiandrumer 5 років тому +80

      nah that's what makes it even more funny

    • @thefilmeffect6089
      @thefilmeffect6089 5 років тому +87

      I thought the same thing, so I did a search and they have a Wikipedia page and other articles on them. This video is basically taking something real and turning it into something funny. From the quick search I did, The Machine is/was a real all white secret society that influenced politics in the university and the state. The group was started in 1888 and they were also referred to as the crimson white.

    • @matthewhenington8139
      @matthewhenington8139 5 років тому +10

      It apparently is not a joke

    • @annakaraski9171
      @annakaraski9171 5 років тому +1

      Nope

    • @rickyrougs
      @rickyrougs 5 років тому +20

      @æthalstan eagle eye I feel like a lot of universities are run by greek life in some fashion but the way some of the students talk about it at alabama is scary

  • @greggallen7381
    @greggallen7381 5 років тому +158

    Caroline prob can’t even scramble eggs

    • @netavoreikalas4757
      @netavoreikalas4757 5 років тому +30

      Probably not but her 100k followers are scrambling their own eggs to her

  • @dominiccuevas9699
    @dominiccuevas9699 6 років тому +84

    “The machine...... ... .. what is it..”

  • @Lightningkuriboh
    @Lightningkuriboh 4 роки тому +23

    Imagine having so much secrecy and complexity for things that absolutely do not matter

    • @brooksdanielgary
      @brooksdanielgary 4 роки тому +6

      It probably doesn't stop at homecoming tho. If Saban is that scared to talk about it, it probably goes to the boosters and state leadership.

  • @FumblsTheSniper
    @FumblsTheSniper Рік тому +106

    The Dragonball guy walked out into the world for the first time in years and was immediately asked about the very thing that drove him to seclusion. He knew then it was divine providence which had given him the strength to make it so far against so great of odds.

    • @ioiwut4874
      @ioiwut4874 Рік тому +3

      dude fresh outta the hyperbolic-timechamber, ready to go

  • @Nathanfx2006
    @Nathanfx2006 4 роки тому +21

    At the end when he gave the independent homecoming Queen to someone other than his candidate I lost it 😂

  • @MatthewAndrewDrake
    @MatthewAndrewDrake 2 роки тому +13

    “I’m a business major”
    “SEE. She deserves a shot!” 😂

  • @bdcopp
    @bdcopp 5 років тому +384

    Watching this from the UK I can't tell if this is satire.

    • @Rosebud0801
      @Rosebud0801 5 років тому +168

      It isn’t, it’s a real thing on our campus that everyone is aware of, my house was pushed to vote for a candidate in another sorority

    • @christopherwilcox9654
      @christopherwilcox9654 5 років тому +13

      it's cute and funny here but it happens in state governments in many parts of America.

    • @rjgomm1852
      @rjgomm1852 5 років тому +5

      J War ever heard of a little thing I like to call The Illuminati?

    • @micspaffymillard719
      @micspaffymillard719 5 років тому +29

      @@Rosebud0801 I think what he's saying is that coming from the UK this seems like satire because of how serious the greek life stuff is that it almost seems comedic.

    • @Rosebud0801
      @Rosebud0801 5 років тому +7

      Mic Spaffy Millard true, our school takes it waaayy too seriously, my house starts preparing for recruitment 9 months in advance lmao

  • @thlee3
    @thlee3 6 років тому +53

    "i slid in your DM's .... in a good way"

  • @babyz7750
    @babyz7750 5 років тому +71

    “I poured myself a glass of the Hi-C that I had requested” 14:40 yeah I can’t take this guy seriously Lol

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 роки тому +5

      You know you're not supposed to take him seriously, right? Are you slow?

  • @noahlowery1967
    @noahlowery1967 5 років тому +37

    Alabama is like real life. The machine is real. And it all stems from “Fraternities” and Secret Society

  • @hudsonr.743
    @hudsonr.743 5 років тому +25

    "And 24 hours with caroline"
    This line absolutely made the video

  • @markkmemorabilia
    @markkmemorabilia 6 років тому +70

    Caleb has been missing since

  • @ndyjbswglftxtix8589
    @ndyjbswglftxtix8589 5 років тому +49

    Why is this like signing the Declaration of Independence and risking getting caught for treason against the Machine? 😳

  • @kkjjncxg6912
    @kkjjncxg6912 6 років тому +40

    This was absolutely gold. Well done Caleb

  • @michaelaneser2066
    @michaelaneser2066 5 років тому +9

    caleb deserves a raise after this one, beautiful stuff here

  • @ZacH-wv7jd
    @ZacH-wv7jd 6 років тому +45

    Caleb, this is incredible.

  • @Mackathne
    @Mackathne 5 років тому +37

    Almost like Skull and Bones at Yale.

    • @sebastianmolina344
      @sebastianmolina344 5 років тому +4

      shhhh

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 роки тому +6

      Nothing like skull and Bones at Yale. Yale grads run the US. Bama grads run the greater Tuscaloosa metropolitan.

  • @LippytheLipRipper
    @LippytheLipRipper 6 років тому +36

    Caroline runs away from that car like she has 5 followers

  • @supermoneyball420
    @supermoneyball420 4 роки тому +13

    The Machine 100% had a sniper on Saban for that whole homecoming speech

  • @investorbettor505
    @investorbettor505 Рік тому +48

    My university had the same thing. Taught me a lot about the world. Probably more than I learned in class

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Рік тому +1

      sure you did

    • @investorbettor505
      @investorbettor505 Рік тому +2

      @@jonhohensee3258 SEC Greek life is a microcosm of us politics imo lol

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Рік тому +1

      @@investorbettor505 HA HA HA HAaaa... ha ha... ha ha.... SO SUPER funny... and stuff

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Рік тому

      @@LordBelakor closed of ???

  • @ShortHandedNow
    @ShortHandedNow 5 років тому +12

    Giving the Onion a run for its money! Had me in stitches.

  • @aidenmoussette
    @aidenmoussette 4 роки тому +9

    Bro that one dude at the frat who’s eyes were darting everywhere was obviously in the Machine lmao

  • @batmanandrobin250
    @batmanandrobin250 5 років тому +173

    Fr wtf was Saban talking about

    • @5lanediver
      @5lanediver 5 років тому +30

      if not the machine perhaps the tv companies for having them play early games

    • @yellowhammer4747
      @yellowhammer4747 5 років тому +4

      THE MACHINE!

    • @SomeJustice19k
      @SomeJustice19k 5 років тому +9

      The Machine.... did you not watch the video?

    • @lijahpinto780
      @lijahpinto780 5 років тому +10

      Machine rigs SGA and SGA decides who gets reserved seating for the best sections in the stadium so students without connections to Greek organizations or a select few honors societies have to fight for what’s left and this results in less overall student attendance. This also creates a segregated environment for students that takes away from the experience of actually gathering as a student body to watch the football team play. This isn’t the only reason for low attendance as they showed when they interviewed random students but it definitely adds to the problem. The machine has also been guilty of maintaining a number of racist policies within the Greek system and student government and has committed hate crimes and used intimidation tactics on multiple occasions in the past

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 роки тому

      @@lijahpinto780 In Alabama? No way 😆

  • @b-ran7024
    @b-ran7024 3 роки тому +32

    This is hilarious, but is actually also damn good journalism. Great piece

  • @Ranwright
    @Ranwright 5 років тому +13

    My sister goes to alabama, the machine is real when it comes to picking a homecoming queen. Her friend ran for homecoming queen and word spread fast that sororities pre pick the homecoming queens based on whos in the sorority that they choose to make all the girls vote for. Its real.

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 роки тому +2

      Such important stuff, like who's gonna be homecoming queen

  • @koreyjeffries9504
    @koreyjeffries9504 5 років тому +25

    Caleb literally has a list of all names who have defied "The Machine". I hope the list doesn't get into the wrong hands.

  • @RCJH2022
    @RCJH2022 5 років тому +11

    You mean a student group that is organized together has more influence than individual students on their own? I'm SHOCKED.

    • @RCJH2022
      @RCJH2022 5 років тому

      1Pangaea Republic 😂😂😂 I haven’t heard someone say that since I was 17. That’s just what the jealous loser kids say to to other kids who are having more fun to try and make themselves feel better.

  • @lucuix9901
    @lucuix9901 6 років тому +28

    Caleb is a national treasure.

  • @toogee1850
    @toogee1850 5 років тому +9

    "So I let my hair down to let them know that I'm a cool dude who didn't mind if they cussed" ...Lol, this guy and Donnie are the greatest part of Bartstool hands fucking down.

  • @vampeilo
    @vampeilo 5 років тому +9

    She straight said “ I don’t eat” lol

  • @tylerklein7284
    @tylerklein7284 5 років тому +5

    When he's talking directly to the banquet servers is fuckin hilarious.

  • @Sammy-ro6ny
    @Sammy-ro6ny 3 роки тому +6

    10:32 “Wait, can I sign your petition?” “Thank you for being out here”
    “You’re welcome! So, you guys ever heard about the machine?”
    “Uhhh you mean like the band?”
    Bruh had no idea what he was signing 😂😂😂

  • @SticksAandstonesBozo
    @SticksAandstonesBozo 5 років тому +14

    Damn .... Michael Moore looking wild in 2019.

  • @jzckuprising68
    @jzckuprising68 5 років тому +14

    yo that red head in that fraternity is definitely in the machine

    • @angelb4143
      @angelb4143 4 роки тому +1

      He seemed sus the moment he brought it up lol and he sucks at lying

  • @tinman5496
    @tinman5496 4 роки тому +1

    The “fuck you “ on the bread 🤣😂🤣😂

    • @MrJLiles14
      @MrJLiles14 4 роки тому

      Lmaooo the bananas and the backwards shirt too 😂

  • @icyrhodes2738
    @icyrhodes2738 5 років тому +35

    If this isnt a joke its kinda scary, some of these people will run for actual political office in the future

    • @johnjacob3160
      @johnjacob3160 5 років тому +16

      I mean its exactly like the political system is today... just college scale

    • @charliestubbs6151
      @charliestubbs6151 2 роки тому

      @@johnjacob3160 the political system has been like this since the beginning. founding fathers were secret society members

  • @Y0uN00b3r123
    @Y0uN00b3r123 5 років тому +7

    _"what are they gonna do?"_
    *YOU HAVE DIED.*

  • @BlasterTheMaster
    @BlasterTheMaster 5 років тому +5

    Now this... this is the barstool content I want to see

  • @noahkantor5054
    @noahkantor5054 5 років тому +28

    So the machine has a wiki article so it’s def real guys lol

  • @stellarphase
    @stellarphase 5 років тому +5

    I like how this is in my recommendations when it’s homecoming week here

  • @uberhuber1152
    @uberhuber1152 5 років тому +4

    This reminds me so much of Nathan For You, especially at the end.

  • @themonopolyguy8126
    @themonopolyguy8126 5 років тому +12

    That Secretary of Corruption sounded just like every other politician

  • @connr9827
    @connr9827 4 роки тому +1

    The boys he played pool with and came to the party at the end seem like such cool people.