The Heart Breaking Story Of Nozi And Her Mother's Treatment. She Was Crying
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- Опубліковано 14 бер 2024
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My grandmother used to say “my granddaughter will study and succeed she will work abroad” I am a Master’s graduate today working in the UAE for 7 years now. Abazali kumele bakhulume ukuphila ebantwaneni.
be very grateful to your God with a parent like that. other parents are frustrated when their own kids are doing better in life, they compete with their children they bring them down ey kunzima langaphandle
Thank you Queen Ninja for giving me the courage to start my own UA-cam channel. I have 17 subscribers so far. Thank you ❤
I have subscribed 🎉🎉
Also subscribed 😊@thebestofmommyandboy
Lemme support you
@@mrsdorcusmabitsela2676 Thanks a million 😄😄
I have subscribed❤
She needs to break that curse, a selfish and entitled person is a curse because they don't know when to say no. My mother is like that, I had to cut that cord and leave home to build my life. She didn't want me to leave but I left at 26 years old after my internship ended, guys I was depressed not because I bring issues to my life but because my mom wants to relax and have me take on her responsibilities. I was almost put on anti-depressants I refused and moved away from home. A selfish person is a curse to your life cause they take until you are depleted. I used to give my mother money when I was in Varsity etc. I choose myself and move d away from home, now I have things to my name I don't even want debts cause my mother traumatized me. My relationship with money is filled with trauma because she traumatized me I don't want with my money.
I hope God will fill your heart again and get to have a joyful life and hope you have forgiven your mom, doesn't mean going back but for your peace of mind, hope your relationship with money will be a good one and growth you will experience and never feel bad for choosing yourself but have peace, may light shine so bright in your life, hope you have made God your father, a parent who will never forsake nor leave you♥️
Love and peace Ninja❤️
@@goodnessmitileni1120 thank you for the kind words Ninja♥️
@@goodnessmitileni1120I live by the Bible verse “My father and mother may abandon me but the Lord will take care of me”.
I’m hanging on a thread. But I’m holding on for life
@@nthabelengkubeka5073 it's Good to hear that, don't let go no matter how hard it can be, nothing is impossible with our God, keep your faith in him
❤ May God revive your relationship with mom
Yoh I'm greatful to God who blessed me with parents who feels for me and are greatful when i help them
You are blessed 🤞🤞❤️
Same here. One of the principles my parents taught me is that you need to make sure you're sorted before helping others. When I send umama money or offer to help the first question is are you sorted wena kuqala
Definitely and I pray I never take them for granted, others yearn for just one parent to feel for them and not force them to take care of them, just for that one parent to say my child don't worry too much about them, take care of yourself
@@wangamzileni7488 Wow what a blessing; a lot of us wish to have such parents. ❤️
People making this about them yet Nozie is going through her own pain, this shows how people r selfish unprovoked it's like telling someone my child is sick, then someone comments n say yhuuh owam uright umntana, u don't have to relate to be sympathetic. It's called being kind no one asked about your perfect parents. But people are so self centered that they think life revolves around them.
Most of us are experiencing this, sending love to everyone going through it ❤️
I'm going to be respect to Nozi because she trusts us to provide a safe space for her when she shares...but there are MANY parents like this. Funny enough they usually pick just 1 of their kids and just make them their provider in every way possible. They literally want you to live for their joy and strangely neglect being a parent to the same child. They don't even offer emotional support. It happens a LOT!
It is isolation, a manipulative tactic.
In all of this I’m glad that Nozi is independent and is doing well for herself. I can’t imagine how worse things would be if she was still living under the same roof as her mom, I hope it gets better🥲
@@theglen85 🥹🥹🥰🥰
But running away still is not he answer. Imagine running away forever?? What about as adults we face it head on and conquer it.
Nozi is a resilient woman, the Lord is forever going to bless her. Her pockets shall never run dry. May she have the warmest home with her family till her last days. Sending mental hugs and strength to us all 🤍🌸
The way i want your father to have a long life so his bitter self can see all you and your sisters flourish.
Orange is your colour 🧡🍊Gorgeous
I am loving muphandi 😍🙏🏼 the rocks they throw at you, build a castle. Period ❤️❤️❤️❤️💃💃💃💃💃💃
So grateful to have parents that took care of me while I was in varsity even bought me a car then when I graduated they upgraded my car and bought an apartment for me even furnished it. I just did here and there I’m just so grateful they stretch their hand to help me never the other way around. I sympathise with everyone facing the opposite I wasn’t gonna survive if I was facing the opposite honestly. I’m hurt yoh
Listen, my mom is a mess. But, I will forever be grateful for her stance on black-tax. She experienced it & made sure we don't
You are blessed Ninja
You are blessed Ninja
@@mjiyakhosamukelisiwe7623 I'm not saying she's fault-less. She has her issues too. But, huuuuu
It’s also said that the house that her MOM lives in now is the second house she bought for her mother. The first one she bought, her mother changed the title deed to her cousin and one day cousin took them out. Yhoooo🙆🏽♂️. I used to judge Nozi for sharing all these about her mother but this LIVE just changed everything, noko this is tooo much. May God give her strength and comfort.
Oh my gosh are you serious??? 😭😭😭
What??!! That is nuts 😮
For real???
This is for real. She also once bought a van for her brother to do business and it was hijacked, uninsured.
The house her mum is staying at she is paying bond for it. The first house she bought for her mum she used the money she got when she was working overseas and she was still a student
I agree with you when you said we always seek validation from the parent who never validated us😢
How I wish everyone had parents like mine! My mom is late and my dad is 91, but they have never put anyone of us their children through this. When we do stuff for them or give them money, they thank us until they cry. My dad likes to say “I don’t know what I did to deserve a daughter like you”! At his age, my dad still doesn’t want me to leave home without getting anything from his garden or some biscuits he bought from some ninja shop 😅I just loooove my dad, he is my best friend and my biggest supporter! I am 55 but he makes me feel like his little princess! I wish Nozi and Owami a parent like mine 💛🧡❤️
Well said, my girl!!! You can't heal in the same place that hurts you. Abuse is abuse, regardless of from whom it comes. Also, blood isn't always thicker. Just step away from anything or anyone that threatens your peace!
She took her beautiful niece to matric dance and covered everything and still bought a washing machine same time😢
Just now she brought her a refrigerator yhoooooo it's too much
She literally has to do everything.
Yho, and the thing about our mothers is that when they want to the WILL. My mother in law once saved for over a year to buy my husband tyres because she was proud that her sin bought a car. A mother's love has no boundaries and when they do the opposite it hurts
@@nolusizodlalisa5573this just touched my heart, this is so beautiful
Was also about to mention the fridge
I wish I can share my story parents r very toxic 😢😢😢
❤️🫂
We understand girl, we hear you ❤❤
Sending you lots of love. ❤If you feel you need to share, you should consider it. But as long as you are safe doing so. It could help many people in the same situation.
Oh lemme join you for that segment coz wow....
I have a very supportive mother,God bless her.She appreciates whatever I give her.When things zingahlangani I tell her that yey kunzima girl imali for my child ayihlangani,and she would actually say let's go 50/50😢😢😢😢.I appreciate her support.
The full quote is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", so you're in agreement Owamie. Meaning, sometimes chosen relationships are more significant than default relationships (family and relatives).
Are you a chiller😂
Was my first time to hear the full quote from MacGs podcast
@@Winterflowers1 Absolutely not!
"You can not heal from the environment that is hurting you" yhooo Owamie I feel you😢😢😢😢
You can but you can't heal while you are still in that environment
The quality of the video child♥️♥️. You are on another league Owami🎉🎊
Nozi’s mom had a pretty traumatic childhood and life in total. The only time she began to lead a comfortable life was when her kids (mostly Nozi) grew up and started making money. Not making excuses for her AT ALL but I’ve always understood that hurt people hurt people; but unfortunately as black people we don’t pay attention to emotional scars and just keep it pushing. So much counselling and healing is needed in that relationship. I’m no shrink but being a fan of Nozi watching her family I think her mom loves her VERY much and is VERY proud of her but part of her is jealous of her daughter. Nozi got an education but her mom didn’t. Nozi found love and a good man, her mom knows nothing but trauma from her relationships, Nozi’s mom has always struggled financially but Nozi seems to have all the money in the world.
I went through something with my sister who I know loves me with all her heart but had a bit of resentment because she grew up pretty tough and I had it easy. I’m not saying it’s right but we really need to give each other grace. As black women we’ve experienced great trauma and I think it all unravels and shows it’s ugliness through how we treat each other
Perpetuating jealousy and envy. Im sorry I’m not making no excuse for a grown ass woman that’s chooses to plot for your downfall just because she can’t ask nicely for assistance or direction or even start standing for her own life. You see me do it, why don’t you do the same? Im sorry NO! It’s a big NO. Im not responsible for her future or her past.
@@nthabelengkubeka5073 and no one said you were responsible
If Nozi had to commit suicide today would it be so easy to say "Give her grace"? Emotional damage is WORSE than any physical damage. I lost both my parents by the time I was 13 and I am now a mother to two boys but guess what I CHOOSE to raise them with love and patience and understanding because that is how my mom was before she passed. Why should I be bitter that my life was never the same after I became an orphan and take it out on my kids? NO....we need to do better as black people and stop making excuses for toxic parenting.
@@keepitfrankwithfentse so now basically Nozi should also do it to other women or her kids or family. And it shall be excused as having had a bad past because of her mother. She is working on herself now with church and talking about it so that she doesn’t become a plague.
But can they also take responsibility to heal. We have family members that just don't want to heal.
I remember when Nozi explained her mom's reaction when she graduated. She never congratulates her on all her archievements mara demanding money without appreciation no 1! So sad hey, i saw many people commenting with many stories of how toxic their parents are. I had the most loving& supportive parents and strive to do my best with mine. Love & light to all bleeding hearts ❤
I think she is jealous of her. I know this because my mother was like that towards me as a child. And now it's subtle however, I still know her love for me, and to an extent my sisters is different from the love she has for her male children.
@@studylive99 Clearly there's something wrong with these kind of parents! How can you be jelous of your own child? Your child is your pride & joy, their success is your success. Some of these parents have their own childhood traumas, some are are just evil klaar!
I think most of our black parents are living with their unheralded trauma, too, with no knowledge or ability to seek help… then take it out on the children who didn't even ask to be born. I hope the cycle ends with our generation 🙏
Her mom needs healing yena self, remember she had her children out of wedlock with a married man. So I think somehow she hasn't forgiven herself even though her children turned out to be great human beings who are self sufficient. Not saying it's an excuse for her to treat Nozi like this but mama probably has underlying issues yena naye.
At this point there's nothing Nozi can do. The older they get, there more stubborn they become. She won't even agree to go for counselling. Nozi must just endure until her mom passes on. It's an irreparable damage. Nozi must seek healing for herself.
"I LOVE MY FATHER FROM A VERY LONGGGG DISTANCE" as painful as tht was, but those are the same words i told myself in 2012... thts is how i moved on in peace with life...
Eish, that love from distance is exactly where I am with my sister due to greed greed and non stop greed.
no man your dad is cruel sissy, oh I am so sorry Owamie 🫂🤗
Am so sorry to all who are going through this I can’t even imagine the feeling of being rejected or not validated by your own parent❤️ but there is God who knew you before u were formed in her womb, he is the real parent who will never live or no forsake you❤️
Amen
Family is not blood but who hold your hand when you need it most ❤
Yhoo the things we go through. Owamie you right about letting go. This year I decided to cut my mother off I'm not gonna go home anymore and I saw that she doesn't love my kids even my late husband ubengafuni but Ethanda imali yakhe & she was not there for me when I lost my husband yhooo🙆🙆🙆 I'm done shem
Take care and give love to your lovely kids my sister, the ones who does`nt appreciate you do not desrerve your love. stay blessed
@@tinangandu2666 thank you so much ❤️❤️
Ninja you are really inspiring us ,I have been watching you since around 2018 and it is so amazing to witness your growth and how far you have come and the success.
You inspired some of us and love your studio aswell .
We honestly need a conference as Ninjas where we will vent & cry till we feel better 😢ayyy siyagowa
That marriage talk is so real because one of the major reasons for marriages falling apart is finances. And I know some pre marital counseling advices is that what you do for one family you do for the other. Now granted we don't know if indeed what they both give to their families is equal but this could possibly be weighing heavily on the husband as well. Nozi might be using her own money but I can tell you her husband hurts because she's hurting 😢
Yey Owamie... you nailed it hun... my mother put so much strain on me that it caused several problems in my marriage. As a result until today he brings my mom up even in court... this thing is toxic... the peace I have had since I have started loving my mom from a distance, I have set boundaries and she now appreciates even a lollipop from me... it's just sad that I'll live with the aftermath
Yohhh sis, please write to Owami it would be a privilege to hear about your story on an episode of To Hell and Back
Hugs to you, so so sorry you're now having to live with the aftermath. ❤
Thank you so much ladies... 😅😅 my grandmother did say I should consider writing a book hey... it's the backlash from her that I'd rather avoid so To Hell and Back might be a high risk for me
The quality of this video and editing 👌wow Owami I love it
Powerful message 👏 thank you Queen Ninja❤
Amen
I remember the perfume story she even cry 😢 the mother didn’t see anything wrong about it .
but naye uNozi guys ngeke she needs to free herself .Mudala manje and she must stop giving her mom things when she doesn't appreciate it .
That’s just where I feel like giving both of you and Nozi a big big hug
A hardworking queen, standing on business shbubu!!! I stan 👑
Parents need to be told where to get off. Children are not money making machines, imagine you have a first child then your mother doesn’t show up. Your mother doesn’t buy even irompa for your first child. Haaa haybo. maka Nozie disappointed me not once , not twice …abazali abanengxaki ze mental health badinga ii professionals kungenjalo bethuna sizobhubha
100% Owami, it’ll be tough, it’ll hurt, but it’ll be worth it at the end.
We all have a dose of it, my Mother she cannot walk straight, because of the horrible things she has done to me, she is still denying till this day, stoney hearted woman
Love and light to anyone going through this 💗 everyone of us is constantly battling something . God loves you , love yourself and keep on moving .
So happy you are covering this. Heard it and thot of u coz u know how toxic parents can be.
When she said she can go cheap when told Skhu wanted to pay lobola because of her HIV status. I knew then that kukhulu okuzayo. I don’t think she’s happy that she got a husband that loves her, I don’t think she’s happy that Nozi is successful and unable to control her because she has a husband. If it was up to her she would divorce uSkhu so that she can be the one controlling Nozi’s finances like she did when she started working.
Akavi kamnandi that she’s married yena engazange aqalise, with her actions she wants Skhu to be fed up ashiye uNozi. Finances are a sensitive issue in marriages and she knows this.
Her childhood trauma is supposed to make her not want her children to experience the same things as she did which is intsokolo.
Spot on sisi
I have learned the hard way that takers don’t have boundaries… stop being generous, u will suffer 😢…
God has your back💯❤️ more blessings are yet to come. You are the Choosen one🤞;Keep at it Owamie and continue to be unstoppable ❤️🕯🙏.
We are inspired ❤
"The only thing you can do is heal", That's powerful Owamie
Owami, this was a sermon. May God pour more into you and bless you tremendously.
Nozi’s Mom And My Mom Are Probably Bestfriends And They Share Notes. They Never See The Good You Do. All They Want Is Money, And Use The Name Of God To Trap Us Into Giving Them Things. Things They Were Supposed To Get By Themselves.
just wanna say I'm really & immensely proud of u Queen. 🙌🏾🥹♥️♥️
I'm so sorry Owamie. I'm glad you had the courage to let go.
I needed to hear Owami's advice ❤️🙏
Omggg I absolutely love the story behind the studio name 😊
This touches me so much. ❤
I very much relate to this topic. My mom died when I was young. I was raised by my maternal grandmother. I tried my entire life to get my fathers validation until he passed.
I hate that, I sacrificed a lot of things growing up trying to win my fathers heart…He is now gone…and never even apologised for abandoning us after my mom died… and we could see him loving his other children. It hurts, but life has to carry on.
You such a strong woman Queen 👸 ❤Ninja 🥷 I will forever love nd respect you ❤
Powerful message queen Ninja ❤
She even spoke about delaying having children because of the responsibilities back home.😢😢😢
Ooh Owamie I'm so sorry. I pray Mophandi studio grows more and more successful
Sorry for nozi ey but I think we have put ourselves first I know it's not easy but we have too, luckily my mom it's not someone like that but I have to do everything for myself and help her. Love and light to her may she get healing ❤️
As we should sis. Again, you were also just brought into this life. U didn’t ask to be here we all just figuring life out
I thank my mom for all her hard work. She literally worked so hard to care for her siblings, their kids etc. she literally gave me so many opportunities and to even fulfill my dreams but also she’s burdened me because everyone thinks I should be the next her. The charity she gives. I am still young and building but because your mom did for us now people are expecting that from me! Nope tle guys
You are an inspiration mama, I pray God still continues to bless you❤
That long distance demonstration 😂🤣🤣 Eyy Ninja
The conversation is serious but queen ninja still brings humor . 😂
Set up boundaries and don’t let people walk all over you, family or not.
Owami this touched me🙏🙏❤️🔥❤️🔥
You're testament to the glory of God
Mphandi studios 💪💪🙌
I can relate and iam still in it , it hurts !
I’m just sorry for your toxic father queen ninja it’s heart breaking 💔
And isn't it crazy how entitled people have the nerve to quickly switch it up and make it seem like we are the problem for simply saying I see what you are doing and I refuse to allow it?
I can’t imagine having a mother like that . I’m in my 30s but my mom and dad are still the first people I turn to . I hope Nozi goes to therapy and finds peace .
I am grateful for the kind of mother I have, the one that sacrificed all to give me the best life, by best life I don't materialistic things, there is nothing I would not do for her, be it that I am in a position to do so.
Uweeee i can relate to her. I had to cut my dad off completely!!! People will not understand u less they have been in our shoes. Mine pushed me to the point of wanting to take myself out of this world. The whole calling ans asking for money but they never speak to you for more than 6 months. Yup, been there. It is narcissistic parental abuse.
If Nozi’s mother were to watch her videos. Chances are she would blow things out of proportion and make everything about herself being the victim. The harsh truth is that some of our parents expect us to parent them if they didn’t live out their childhood like we did. You can never speak sense to someone that unconsciously or subconsciously envies you. Until then I hope Nozi accepts her mother for who she is or rather chose herself to love her from a distance. Forgiveness doesn’t mean re injury. Our parents that hurt us are not against us, they are just for themselves and you cannot fix that or make them understand.
Sorry cc Nozi yoooh ukutsontsha phoo whuu same mothers bethuna
She recently bought her a fridge.. like few weeks ago
.. and I was kinda mad coz I’m like what about kabo Skhu
If your parent can’t give you validation. Then they are jealous of your accomplishments and compares themselves to you. She might be thinking you have it easy my angel and everything good comes to you easily and quickly looks at her life IN COMPARISON to you. Well done and do not let anyone trample on your light. Your husband can validate you and tell yourself thats more than enough
Imagine naming your hard work (studio) after a curse that your own father has spoken upon your life.
Yhooooo; Askies Queen Ninja. Continue birthing LIFE into every hurdle and God has got you. His the father to the fatherless. Trust only in God; your already living a blessed life and I pray nothing but healing and favour upon your lives, you and Nozi.
🙌🏾🥹 🫂 ❤
To think when we tell people a mother can hate her own daughter they think you are just making things up. 💔 This was really hard to watch.
What I've realized is that most parents don't love their kids but use their kids as a means to an end financially and/or public reputation perspective.....actually these parents don't care if their behavior destroys you as long as they get what they want and I don't care if I get judged, but I decided to cut my losses and am free though the weight I am carrying is still heavy
Signing in 🎉❤
Yooh ur dad is ruthless 😢
I’m going through the same experience with my mother. Only when i give money im good enough. She even sided with my ex husband to humiliate and bad mouthing me. And people always say atfer all its your parent. The day i distance myself from her till date has given me peace. I was depressed always believed im a bad person
Let me start by saying I hope everyone who has been broken at hands of their parents find healing. To this day It is still hard for me to accept that we have to beg our parents to love us. No matter what we do, it will never be enough.we try to live our lives, but live their lives too because we try to do what they want,what we think will make them happy. It is even painful to think about. Both my parents are alive and I grateful to God for that. But they make our lives difficult and sad.😢
Notification gang gang 🎉🎉🎉😅
Yaaa ppl cannot give what they don't have ,their behaviour shows they r also broken
Let's be better parents to our children. Especially when they are older. They don't owe us ANYTHING! They didn't ask to be born. If we get that, we'll be better. Stop giving more than what you can. The takers will keep taking and turn to say we didn't ask for it. Which will also hurt. Believe me, I learned the hard way.
Wise words❤ mama ninja 👏
My mother was like that. She would call me on the 25th of every month just to remind me to send money to her in Lesotho. I got married took my kids and cut the ambilical cord. She did not like my ex husband but I was happy.
You look beautiful Queen Ninja😍😍😍😍😍 that orange suits you sooo well🤩🤩🤩
Thank you cc❤
I feel a parent acts like this xa enomona towards her child. Unomona woba u Nozi had done so well for herself, and yena she failed on her younger days. Now she’s taking out her frustration on her daughter.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'
It means that people who have shed blood together in the battlefield (blood of the covenant) have a stronger bond than familial ties (water of the womb) which is quite the opposite of the latter - more popular saying.
Wena o chiller🤞 it's not up for debate😂😂😂 a chiller knows when they see one😅
Most definitely. I actually wanted to add that Dudu educated me.
Blood is not thicker than water 😂😂. You're right, some relatives are toxic and need to be kept at a distance.
Nozis mother is much better than my mom hates me I lost so many opportunities because of her at the end she ended up telling people that I kill people, I am crazy , I come from royalty yet I am poor recently she told me to go look for my father's family at first I used to be like Nozi and cry but now I fight back also they steal our clothes im done seeking validation from her to the point that I don't care she can go to hell. She even once called me a dog just because I ended up being a failure in life because of her and her silly family.
Even with me when I was younger she used to tell me I will amount to nothing I mean as a child why would she reprimand me like that even if I was naughty why curse me rather guiding me?
I'm so sorry. I hope you continue to heal. ❤️🫂
@millie818 Thank you it is never ending journey of healing.
Gang gang gang ❤
Whooo abazali kodwa bethuna 😢😢😢😢 askies Nozi
Parents are toxic and use the 'Old school parenting" as justification for their toxicity. Mine does not milk me financially however is absent emotionally and God knows I have tried... As a mother myself I am now actively working towards being present for my child and not think parenting is all about money
Onakesa Queen ninja....❤️❤️❤️
Ninja signing in🎉🎉
"Blood is thicker than water"only when it benefits them but the same water is the one that sometimes that cleans up the stains caused by blood...this family over everything mentality will send you to the grave😢mina as long as we all have red blood we family cos strangers can sometimes support you more than family.
Not all husband's are like skhu nozi mum dont mind asking skhu something if nozi says she can't give it to her
Nozi's situation is so heart breaking. To think not many children do what Nozi does for her family. 😢 Her mom somehow feels entitled because she took Nozi to a good school. The unfortunate thing is that at that age nothing much can be done in terms of changing her mind set
She didn't Nozi was sent to better schools by her late father even though it was easy due to step mom then she excelled and got herself bursaries through out high school and varsity
Okay then what does she want?