With my first son, I began the teaching of the cleanup process as soon as he began getting toys out so around 8 months prior to intentional Montessori for us. I had him "help" and modeled cleaning up every time toys came out and needed a tidy. Before he was 2 he was able to clean up and put things away in the correct places independently. He's 4 now and I never have any issue with cleanup time. Partly I believe it's his personality, he loves tidiness like his mom but starting EARLY really set it up to where there isn't anything else he knows. It also is important to note I don't expect of my children what I do not do myself. I model cleaning up my messes, making our bed, putting things away when they are done being used, etc. He not only is good at keeping his room tidy, he cleans up his own spills and even jumps in when I or my husband drops things as well. It's amazing how capable children are.
I really like what you said - “It’s not you versus your child. You’re on the same team.” YES! I feel so often, parents forget this or don’t even realise this. Especially here where I live in Asia, it is all about yelling, nagging and threats to get kids to “obey.” But personally, that’s not the kind of relationship I’d want with my kids. And it’s not a healthy way to live imo.
When it comes to preschoolers refusing to clean up, I know it's very easy for parents and caregivers to jump to the conclusion that the child is being defiant. I've seen the "I'll take it apart for you" approach to get a child to get clean up far too many times (and, unfortunately, I've been guilty of it too when working in a daycare environment). However, there may be a REASON your child doesn't want to clean up the activity. Take the examples you shared: Legos and a Train Set. Setting up train tracks or creating something with Legos/blocks is a lot of work.There's a very good chance that the child is just proud of his/her work and isn't ready for it to be put away. Understanding this could help negate some meltdowns. Maybe Kylie is upset about putting away her blocks because she worked SO hard to make something that she REALLY wants Daddy to see, but Daddy isn't home. In some cases, the solution may be "You worked really hard on this and I know you want Daddy to see what you made. Why don't we clean up these blocks here and we can put the rest away after Daddy gets home and sees your castle." Other times, maybe the answer is "Would you like to take a picture of your castle so we can show Daddy what you made when he gets home?" The solution may depend on the materials and/or activity. You may be able to move a small Lego creation or puzzle to a safe place. A larger block tower might be better off photographed if there's a greater chance of a younger sibling destroying it prematurely. A creation with Play-doh is also better off photographed ("We need to put the Play-doh away so it doesn't dry out and we can play with it again. Would you like to take a picture of the cat you made so we can show Daddy later?")
Alternatively, the kid may not be done playing with their creation. If I, as an adult, built a nice train track to play with I wouldn't want to put it right away, I'd leave it on the table or floor for days as I continued to enjoy it. Why would a kid be any different?
I've been using the "where does this go?" with good success with my 16-month old! It happened suddenly that he started understanding that question and responding and actually shocked me lol. I would always ask him "where does this go?" And then answer the question myself while modeling. One day I handed him some towels that he stores in his play kitchen and asked him where they go and he just waddled off to his kitchen and put them away 😂 it's amazing what he's capable of and I never would have fully realized all of it without your videos!
My 2 year old found it hilarious when we made cleanup kinda like pretend play. It wasn't her putting the blocks away, but she would hold a doll and act like the doll is putting them away, grunting how heavy they are :D
AMAZING! I cannot tell you how much you have inspired me as a parent! The work you are doing and the wealth you are spreading is making the world a better place!
This video is full of good tips. When my kids were little, I taught them that everything had a place. Their play room was very organized and they loved it. I had open shelves and had baskets for similar items, eg. one for the cars, one for little people, one for blocks. I also had things labeled. I had a system of putting stickers on the bottom of certain toys and a matching sticker on the shelf. This made it easy and fun for everyone to know where things belonged, including their playmates. Clean up was so much easier and their play room stayed so nice.
This was very helpful! My MIL was telling me to teach my child to clean up by saying "I am going to take this toy away if you do not clean up" and it made me very uncomfortable to go that route. I will definitely be modeling this approach to not only my child but my MIL as well so we can all be happy!
Nobody ever teached me how to clean and put away my stuff as a child or a young adult. So I had to learn it by myself as an adult. The Kondo method has been a helpful guide in the process and now I'm teaching my family how to clean and why it's important to give everything ( or most of them) it's own place and how open boxes or trays are helpfull. It's not perfect everyday and I still have a little mess here and there but I keep learning. I'm so gratefull for your vidéo and now I'm going to be able to teach a little kido how to clean and put away there stuff :) Sorry for my english it's not my first language :)
i LOVE these series so much!!! cant wait to see whats next. how about "everyday life skills per age group" like putting dishes away, toilet, cleaning up something theyve spilt etc! orrrrrrr self care! teeth and hair brushing, putting on clothes or shoes etc
My daughter is Mia's age and just put a toy away, unprompted, for the first time today! An exciting milestone. 🥳 I think modeling is SO SO important because I didn't really have to teach this to her. I've asked her to assist me with putting toys back in baskets but that's about it.
Hallelujah! This has been a daily frustration. ( 58 year old Grandma here. We adopted our youngest Granddaughter. She has been with us from birth; She is three. She is such a blessing, but I practically fall into bed at the end of the day; lol)
When I stop to think what else I need to learn as I navigate motherhood for the first time with my 5 month old... here comes a video from you!!! And I'll start doing this today as she's taking soooo much interest in everything around her. Thank you so so much for bringing such valued info... your videos are a great addition to your e-course, which in really enjoying. It's like I'm learning the theory in the course and how to implement it with your videos. I'm so glad I found your channel🥰🥰
".... Some adults are not very organized" - waves hand like a crazy lady- Its honestly been a struggle for my husband and I to get our act together after having our 3.5 year old. Slowly working towards organized and more minimal. I feel like neither of us were taught to clean it was just expected we did.
Same here! We both grew up in households where everything was done for us most of the time. We are slowly learning to become more organized and neat people, because it is definitely a skill that has to be learned, even for people who tend to be a little OCD.
See I grew up with my mom as mommy dearest. So now I’m disorganized because it’s a relief some times to not be so organized. But I’m working on a good middle.
I so needed this video thank you! This can be a real challenge when parents are opposites when it comes to what each person considers tidy. You reminded me that we live in a home, not running a school so it’s ok not to have to clean everything right away.
If your husband doesn't clean and you do clean, it's not that "you're opposites". It's that your husband refuses to take responsibility for his mess and it's convenient for him to have you pick after him. Don't make excuses for him
This is so helpful!! My daughter puts things back sometimes but not always. After watching your video, I realize it was not her, but myself not asking at the right time and the right way.
Thank you for this! My son is only 6 months, so we are still working on using a lot of language to help him learn for now. I work in childcare and I try implementing things like this to help the toddlers tidy
Thank you... I was struggling with my 22 month old who used to routinely clean up before. Will use these techniques. And thank you for your e-course. It is so informative!
Modeling worked best for us. We started by modeling and starting a routine with putting dirty clothes in the hamper and putting books away, then we'd show him how. When my son starting pulling out stuff on his own, it was about a month later that he started putting things away on his own. It's not 100%, but it's more often than not. The clean up song has been such a big motivator for my son. He's 22 months now.
We try to have my girls clean up before lunch/ before nap time, before daddy comes home from work and then before bed. Some days are better then others haha
Oh I wish I had your patience! I have a 3.5 yo and 1.5 yo twins. I so easily get overwhelmed and am the “no” putting my foot down and being stern and then the meltdown and cycle goes! I am not good at allowing the emotional feelings to arise and dig through them. I’m from the household of I said it so do it and easily do that same approach with mine once I’ve said it. I need help there! I try not to be controlled by emotions but know that I have my own downfalls with it! On another note, I would love to hear you and mikes back story and your plans as your children are little ❤️
This was so beneficial. And I think you presented probably normal scenarios and how to continue the Montessori Method within those when they occur. You gave such good examples of how to tackle something head-on and how to back-out of it or work around it if it's gone awry. So many understand an overall concept, but need concrete examples from real life.
My 1 and a half year old girl just shook her head, expressing no, when she spread the beans all over the floor while I asked her to pick them up together🤦♀️
I remember when I was a teen, I had two toddler cousins over for a BBQ and they kept following me around. So I was annoyed but I decided to start picking up leaves in the backyard and throwing them into a trash without saying anything. And they followed suit to the encouragement of their dad! That was my cue to leave and it was so cute.
soooo my daughter loves to take out all her toys and has a specific reason why they're out, and they must be out ALL DAY. she'll have all her stuffed animals set up in different scenarios (bunny is sleeping, kitty is eating, doggy is in school) and tells me she can't put them away because they're eating, sleeping or in school. there will be toys out that seem strewn about on the floor and if i try to get her to clean them up she says she can't because they are in that spot in that way for a specific reason(the blocks on the floor are food for the pretend birds, the legos are the buildings). i don't want to interrupt her play but there is almost no point in the day where the toys are picked up because the way she plays is that everything is ongoing all day. she always goes back to the "scenarios" she sets up so she really does have like a story line that is ongoing all day. i hope this makes sense. i never heard of a child playing this way but at the end of the night it is overwhelming for her (and me) to have to clean up so many different things.
This is very interesting! I've never heard anything like this either, but sounds like she's a very imaginative young lady. It's as if she's directing a play or world building. There are videogames just for world building, I'm not aware of real life activities though but I wouldn't be surprised if you look it up and find something to redirect her energy to! Perhaps asign to her a smaller area where she "throws" around her toys so when you put them away you dont have to tidy around the entire place. You could use scotch tape or if there's a carpet she plays on then that carpet becomes an island so all the toys/characters must remain within that area. Hopefully she doesn't put boats and fish in the sea though haha. Or maybe you can downsize the number of toys she has out for the day by distributing her toys to 7 boxes, one for each day of the week, number them or if she's a bit older you can add the days of the week, either way decorating with a label or picture could be an activity in itself! Or there could be a theme for each box, so some toys are for when they pretend to be at home only, another box is school themed, park themed, holiday, restaurant, granma's house, etc. And this could be an opportunity to learn about some more detailed actions or roles people play in those places.
Hello, my 2-year old girl does the same thing! She takes all her blocks, kitchen utensils, stuffed toys and even music instruments for her pretending play. In those cases, we cleanup before bedtime and in most times, I end up doing the cleaining-up.
Hi. Good morning. Actually you have provided with lots of options... I might use these to train my 5yr old. Cause everyday he and his father has a fight on this.... Every single day. Thank you so much for doing this video.
I love your videos so much! No kids yet, but I really want to learn everything I can BEFORE I make that big choice. You are an inspiration! I just found a Montessori school down the road from me. I'm very interested in having my some day child going there. Thank you for the vlogs and videos!
my daughter is 4 months old and i already bought activities for her as a toddler, just because i am so excited... ( of course i do not present them to her yet)
Cleaning and modeling cleaning has been a big part of mine and my babies daily schedule. It has worked so well and she loves that everything always has a place. She has always put things back where they belong even sometimes without asking. She is now 16 months old and going through a leap in her development where she apparently realises she doesn’t have to do everything I ask. She loves to shake her head and say no like any healthy toddler. Has anyone else experienced this or have any tips for this stage? Nothing seems to be put away back where it belongs now!
I remember I would get sad when my mom didn't want to help me clean up anymore. I just liked the company and when I had to trow things away I could ask her.
My daughter (17 months) likes to take everything out whenever I try clean up time 🤦🏻♀️ she gets upset when I start cleaning up! I will definitely try the counting or in thing though and see how it goes.
Are you always watching? Lol. My daughter often switched already to the next activity. When I ask her to clean up the other toy, I interrupt her second activity... I now just ask her when I'm in time. Or when she wants a totally different activity like play dough or playing outside like you said. Lol I now hear you saying the same... Btw I make a difference between shelves and creative play. For example: play kitchen, stuffed annimals, silks etc. can be "mixed" to her liking :) so yes, it's all over the place but she was using her creativity and playing independent.
Thank you so much!!! The information is really valuable and important for everyone! Buut, I have a little question... 😄 Wnen a child, my mum and I used to clean the house together. Then when I grew up, from time to time i could get upset with mum's uninvolvement. means i did the cleaning while mum did something another (watering or cooking). Why? and what to do with that?
Hi Ashley, I’m a big fan of your videos! You inspired me to start my own UA-cam channel so thank you! I am curious, you mentioned that children have an innate sense of order and like to have things organized naturally, but does having a cluttered room full of shelves and toys inhibit this? Like they are almost overwhelmed by their surroundings and don’t want to put things away because of all the stuff around them? I would think having a minimalist room with just 5-6 toys would invite more order in a child without having to pressure them so much to clean. Am I wrong for thinking this or is it purely just having to guide the child to want to clean?
Ashley, I love your videos and advice. You always give such great pointers for helping teach my little one how to human lol...I love your gentle and flexible approach to parenting. Your delivery of the message is great and also helps the Mom remember not to expect perfection “Yes! It is ok if my 2.5 year old doesn’t want to clean up. Shit happens, try again on the next activity!” 😂😂
Hi Ashley! I have a suggestion of topic. I have a toddler who constantly mimics the behavior of dogs throughout the day, including cleaning up time, meal times and some random times of the day. she often licks, tries to bark, walk on 4 and carry stuff with her mouth. she is 3 and 1/2. i dont know if this is a schema and how to approach it. i would love some tips on this topic.
I love your channel😍 From this beatiful channel i am learning more and more about a montessori lifstyle. 😊 I saw that when your little one was born she had playtime with the mobiles in her baby nest. Was wonder how was the baby nest vs the topponcino ( that is very popular essential in the newborn world of montessori) ?
I need some advice! I feel like I'm constantly reminding my 4.5yr old to do the same things. (for example using a napkin, not clothes. Or turning off a light when he leaves a room) I know it's just part of being a parent but these things I've been saying for so so many months every day and he still needs reminding. Am I reinforcing him to rely on my reminders by saying it every time, or will he eventually get it because of my reminders? Any advice on how to get him to think deeper and on his own about it?
Hi I think maybe you can tell them in more detail like hey if you use the napkin then the dress won't get dirty and your dress can always looks neat I know u like wearing clean and nice dresses also you can involve them in cleaning or washing the dirty dress in a friendlier approach the point is if you say its effect like switching off the light will save electricity bill and introduce them to the concept of conservation of energy they would understand the whole concept of y u r reminding also say after they switched off like hey you switched it off after leaving the room so you are contributing to save our utility bills thank you so much say maybe teaching the effect they are doing might help them.... I'm saying this after watching Ashley's why not to praise children and what to say instead..... You can watch that to get better idea
Kavi gave a great response! It may be that your child doesn't understand the reason for these things so doesn't care about doing them. If you could spark their motivation, that might help! I read in "how to talk so kids will listen" that the recommendation is instead of saying "turn off the light" or "nagging", you could say "it looks like the light is still on" or "would you like a napkin? " (not sure how to best phrase that one) as it will potentially trigger the child to make the connection themselves instead of relying on you for reminders. Good luck and let us know how you go!
@@Jumvlbunny thank you! Yes I try not to be direct so he thinks about it "do you need a napkin" "are you done in that room" but I obviously need to step it up a notch.
Could you briefly run through what needs to be done, *before* the meal? Perhaps a little Q and A, like "Before we eat, we wash our hands. What do we do after we eat?". Then wait and see if he responds with "Use the napkin to wipe our mouth and hands". If he does, then acknowledge his response, and say "Ok, how about we put the napkin by the side of your plate, so you can use it when you're done eating". If he doesn't, you could prompt him by saying "What do we use to clean our mouth and hands? What did we use yesterday?" If you couch the "reminders" in the form of questions, it puts the onus back on them. It also makes it more engaging, and comes across less as you "nagging", and more of them recognising what they need to do.
It’s worked for my husband tho I came home from church and the dang kitchen was spotless 😂🤣 but no seriously he cleaned that kitchen I wonder if I can apply this method so the bathrooms can be come clean
My 20m old throws everything from the basket n says yay! I m unable to find the blocks n rings as they are under the furniture. Sometimes arranges the books on the shelf. Wanna send my lil one to you for training
Thank you! All makes sense. One question I have is how to approach cleaning up if your toddler has 2-3 activities out but is cross utilising them? So if they are seeing what else fits in the round hole in the object permanence box or threading the rings from their stacker on the xylophone mallet? 😀
I wonder about the same thing as well. My daughter tends to take 3-4 activities out at a time. She sometimes cross utilizes them as well. I'm struggling to know what to do when she takes out so many baskets or activities at once
IsleMontessori Mom Thank YOU! 😚 I’ve done the certification offered through NAMC, which I know is not AMI or AMS and therefore not ideal... but until the girls are in school full time, I wouldn’t be able to commit to the in-person component that’s required. It’s always been important to me to be at home for these first few years, if possible. ☺️ Luckily enough, I do live right next to an AMI training center, so once the girls are in school, that’s the plan! 👍🏻
@@HapaFamily wow you're lucky. And good thinking. Also any training is more ideal than none 😁 I was told before doing it that it is basically like a Masters program and they weren't wrong. It's super intense. There was a mom of 3 in my cohort and she was told if she missed more than 3 sessions she wouldn't pass...
Can you please talk about how i can have my 11 months old twins leave each other concentrates on their activity. The girl likes to play quietly, but the boy always interrupts her and wants to take her toys even he has the same exact thing. Do i put them in a separate room so each one can have their privacy?? Please help. Thanks
@@chouchouchouchou155 Hapa Fam *is* Ashley's channel. She is the "presenter" of this video, and mom to Mia and Kylie, the two little girls you see on this channel. Just search "Hapa Fam" and "sibling", and the videos will come up.
21:42 my mom would let me pick out a toy at the thrift store each week and if I didn't clean up my toys she would donate them back to the thrift store and sometimes I would pick out one of my old toys the next week lol
What should I do when my child put his toys away with me and then pull everything out again after we finish packing and then wonder off to other activities ?
What to do if I have a set of triplets. I am facing difficulties on finding material to parent multiples. It’s already a mess dealing with them all simultaneously I am afraid I pay them too little attention to teach proper habits that leads them to life
My toddler enjoys putting away her toys, but the thing is as soon as we are (finally) done picking up the 80 mega blocks she just grabs the bag and throw them on the floor again. It desperates meee so much. Any advice?
Hi Arlene, my 3.5year old is speech delayed. We arent fully Montessori but ive been adding elements over time :) Currently we clean up together before lunch and before bed. Sometimes she will clean up activities in between on her own which is fine with me. Especially since she helps with other tasks around the house.
You mentioned introducing and changing the cleaning system later, I feel like in general that most of Montessori kinda doesn’t work unless you already do most of it, like... it’s not magic and doesn’t work to combine it with traditional discipline. Is that a video topic maybe?
Once my baby spilled some milk on the floor and when i invited her to clear it up together she just ignored me.then i found that the spills seems like a dinosaur. So i pretend to be surprised about it and said"is that a dinosaur ？i don't want a dinosaur live in my house .let's wipe out it."Then she took some tissues to wipe it right now.I love your channel and i wonder what do you think about this method.՞😃՞
I'm doing this with my 15 months old but he put the things back in its place and then he takes it out and play with it again and throw I think that is ok but he always throws the books and toys in the floor I tried to say we need to gently put it in its place but still he used to throw it I also tried saying him u can throw a ball instead books should be handled gently even though he is throwing and smiling I don't know how to react or what to say any advice on this
My daughter has had a throwing fase too... Sounds you're doing great, it just might take some time. Maybe he indeed needs things to throw/some rough play. Do you also model to put it back gently or only say?
If they are smiling and doing something they know you don’t appreciate, it could be them acting out because they want our attention. Being loud and disruptive is usually what they tend to resort to if they just want you to play or pay attention to them.
@@marie-louiseweerheim4224 yes I would then again he throw it out so I thought maybe he is in trajectory schema and tried to introduce some other things which he can throw but still he have an association with throwing books
I’m trying to figure this out with my 19 month old. I will model picking up items for her and she thinks it is amusing to take the basket/bucket/container and dump it out again.I’ve got my work cut out for me.
With my first son, I began the teaching of the cleanup process as soon as he began getting toys out so around 8 months prior to intentional Montessori for us. I had him "help" and modeled cleaning up every time toys came out and needed a tidy. Before he was 2 he was able to clean up and put things away in the correct places independently. He's 4 now and I never have any issue with cleanup time. Partly I believe it's his personality, he loves tidiness like his mom but starting EARLY really set it up to where there isn't anything else he knows. It also is important to note I don't expect of my children what I do not do myself. I model cleaning up my messes, making our bed, putting things away when they are done being used, etc. He not only is good at keeping his room tidy, he cleans up his own spills and even jumps in when I or my husband drops things as well. It's amazing how capable children are.
I really like what you said - “It’s not you versus your child. You’re on the same team.” YES! I feel so often, parents forget this or don’t even realise this. Especially here where I live in Asia, it is all about yelling, nagging and threats to get kids to “obey.” But personally, that’s not the kind of relationship I’d want with my kids. And it’s not a healthy way to live imo.
When it comes to preschoolers refusing to clean up, I know it's very easy for parents and caregivers to jump to the conclusion that the child is being defiant. I've seen the "I'll take it apart for you" approach to get a child to get clean up far too many times (and, unfortunately, I've been guilty of it too when working in a daycare environment). However, there may be a REASON your child doesn't want to clean up the activity. Take the examples you shared: Legos and a Train Set. Setting up train tracks or creating something with Legos/blocks is a lot of work.There's a very good chance that the child is just proud of his/her work and isn't ready for it to be put away. Understanding this could help negate some meltdowns.
Maybe Kylie is upset about putting away her blocks because she worked SO hard to make something that she REALLY wants Daddy to see, but Daddy isn't home. In some cases, the solution may be "You worked really hard on this and I know you want Daddy to see what you made. Why don't we clean up these blocks here and we can put the rest away after Daddy gets home and sees your castle." Other times, maybe the answer is "Would you like to take a picture of your castle so we can show Daddy what you made when he gets home?" The solution may depend on the materials and/or activity. You may be able to move a small Lego creation or puzzle to a safe place. A larger block tower might be better off photographed if there's a greater chance of a younger sibling destroying it prematurely. A creation with Play-doh is also better off photographed ("We need to put the Play-doh away so it doesn't dry out and we can play with it again. Would you like to take a picture of the cat you made so we can show Daddy later?")
Excellent point! I agree. I also think it is important to avoid being rigid.
Alternatively, the kid may not be done playing with their creation. If I, as an adult, built a nice train track to play with I wouldn't want to put it right away, I'd leave it on the table or floor for days as I continued to enjoy it. Why would a kid be any different?
I've been using the "where does this go?" with good success with my 16-month old! It happened suddenly that he started understanding that question and responding and actually shocked me lol. I would always ask him "where does this go?" And then answer the question myself while modeling. One day I handed him some towels that he stores in his play kitchen and asked him where they go and he just waddled off to his kitchen and put them away 😂 it's amazing what he's capable of and I never would have fully realized all of it without your videos!
My 2 year old found it hilarious when we made cleanup kinda like pretend play. It wasn't her putting the blocks away, but she would hold a doll and act like the doll is putting them away, grunting how heavy they are :D
I'm SO glad I'm pre learning these before baby comes. There's SO much to learn and I hope investing my time NOW means easier later! 😆🧡
It’s definitely easier the earlier you start. I did a lot of research too before my son was born. Congratulations btw!
AMAZING! I cannot tell you how much you have inspired me as a parent! The work you are doing and the wealth you are spreading is making the world a better place!
I need you to come and live with me for a while 😂
ahhaha! Love this! 😆
Exactly what i was thinking 😂
This video is full of good tips. When my kids were little, I taught them that everything had a place. Their play room was very organized and they loved it. I had open shelves and had baskets for similar items, eg. one for the cars, one for little people, one for blocks. I also had things labeled. I had a system of putting stickers on the bottom of certain toys and a matching sticker on the shelf. This made it easy and fun for everyone to know where things belonged, including their playmates. Clean up was so much easier and their play room stayed so nice.
Notification squad, where ya at? I click Hapa Family videos faster than any other channel
This was very helpful! My MIL was telling me to teach my child to clean up by saying "I am going to take this toy away if you do not clean up" and it made me very uncomfortable to go that route. I will definitely be modeling this approach to not only my child but my MIL as well so we can all be happy!
Nobody ever teached me how to clean and put away my stuff as a child or a young adult. So I had to learn it by myself as an adult. The Kondo method has been a helpful guide in the process and now I'm teaching my family how to clean and why it's important to give everything ( or most of them) it's own place and how open boxes or trays are helpfull. It's not perfect everyday and I still have a little mess here and there but I keep learning.
I'm so gratefull for your vidéo and now I'm going to be able to teach a little kido how to clean and put away there stuff :)
Sorry for my english it's not my first language :)
i LOVE these series so much!!! cant wait to see whats next. how about "everyday life skills per age group" like putting dishes away, toilet, cleaning up something theyve spilt etc! orrrrrrr self care! teeth and hair brushing, putting on clothes or shoes etc
My daughter is Mia's age and just put a toy away, unprompted, for the first time today! An exciting milestone. 🥳 I think modeling is SO SO important because I didn't really have to teach this to her. I've asked her to assist me with putting toys back in baskets but that's about it.
That is amazing - well done mama!
Never underestimate the power of modelling.
Hallelujah! This has been a daily frustration. ( 58 year old Grandma here. We adopted our youngest Granddaughter. She has been with us from birth; She is three. She is such a blessing, but I practically fall into bed at the end of the day; lol)
But what about my 420 month old husband? How do I get him to put his things away?
🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 well you have to tell him everytime ...... thats what i do with mine🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣
Haha yes! I need a video on this too
🤣🤣
This inspired my little to come along behind me and enthusiastically undo or throw on the floor everything I modeled putting away.
When I stop to think what else I need to learn as I navigate motherhood for the first time with my 5 month old... here comes a video from you!!! And I'll start doing this today as she's taking soooo much interest in everything around her. Thank you so so much for bringing such valued info... your videos are a great addition to your e-course, which in really enjoying. It's like I'm learning the theory in the course and how to implement it with your videos. I'm so glad I found your channel🥰🥰
I always get so excited for these videos!!
".... Some adults are not very organized"
- waves hand like a crazy lady- Its honestly been a struggle for my husband and I to get our act together after having our 3.5 year old. Slowly working towards organized and more minimal. I feel like neither of us were taught to clean it was just expected we did.
Same here! We both grew up in households where everything was done for us most of the time. We are slowly learning to become more organized and neat people, because it is definitely a skill that has to be learned, even for people who tend to be a little OCD.
See I grew up with my mom as mommy dearest. So now I’m disorganized because it’s a relief some times to not be so organized. But I’m working on a good middle.
I so needed this video thank you! This can be a real challenge when parents are opposites when it comes to what each person considers tidy. You reminded me that we live in a home, not running a school so it’s ok not to have to clean everything right away.
If your husband doesn't clean and you do clean, it's not that "you're opposites". It's that your husband refuses to take responsibility for his mess and it's convenient for him to have you pick after him. Don't make excuses for him
This is so helpful!! My daughter puts things back sometimes but not always. After watching your video, I realize it was not her, but myself not asking at the right time and the right way.
Thank you for this! My son is only 6 months, so we are still working on using a lot of language to help him learn for now.
I work in childcare and I try implementing things like this to help the toddlers tidy
Thank you... I was struggling with my 22 month old who used to routinely clean up before. Will use these techniques.
And thank you for your e-course. It is so informative!
Modeling worked best for us. We started by modeling and starting a routine with putting dirty clothes in the hamper and putting books away, then we'd show him how. When my son starting pulling out stuff on his own, it was about a month later that he started putting things away on his own. It's not 100%, but it's more often than not. The clean up song has been such a big motivator for my son. He's 22 months now.
As a mum of 4, 3 of which are young I need this!!! Thanks x
We try to have my girls clean up before lunch/ before nap time, before daddy comes home from work and then before bed. Some days are better then others haha
Oh I wish I had your patience! I have a 3.5 yo and 1.5 yo twins. I so easily get overwhelmed and am the “no” putting my foot down and being stern and then the meltdown and cycle goes! I am not good at allowing the emotional feelings to arise and dig through them. I’m from the household of I said it so do it and easily do that same approach with mine once I’ve said it. I need help there! I try not to be controlled by emotions but know that I have my own downfalls with it! On another note, I would love to hear you and mikes back story and your plans as your children are little ❤️
I'm so grateful for your videos... Thank you.
i love videos like this where you use sooo many examples!
This was so beneficial. And I think you presented probably normal scenarios and how to continue the Montessori Method within those when they occur. You gave such good examples of how to tackle something head-on and how to back-out of it or work around it if it's gone awry. So many understand an overall concept, but need concrete examples from real life.
My 18 month old helps clean up before bath time most nights and sometimes she just tidies up during the day ON HER OWN
I am so happy that I found u in UA-cam. My daughter is 15 month, and we learn a lot from u 😚😚thank u so much
My son just turned 16 months and this channel has been such an inspiration to us too!
Your trully amazing! I see Soo much wisdom and patience in your eyes and that's exactly what our kids need!!
So many great ideas! Your home is a great model
My 1 and a half year old girl just shook her head, expressing no, when she spread the beans all over the floor while I asked her to pick them up together🤦♀️
I remember when I was a teen, I had two toddler cousins over for a BBQ and they kept following me around. So I was annoyed but I decided to start picking up leaves in the backyard and throwing them into a trash without saying anything. And they followed suit to the encouragement of their dad! That was my cue to leave and it was so cute.
This was so incredibly helpful! You answered every potential question I had!
soooo my daughter loves to take out all her toys and has a specific reason why they're out, and they must be out ALL DAY. she'll have all her stuffed animals set up in different scenarios (bunny is sleeping, kitty is eating, doggy is in school) and tells me she can't put them away because they're eating, sleeping or in school. there will be toys out that seem strewn about on the floor and if i try to get her to clean them up she says she can't because they are in that spot in that way for a specific reason(the blocks on the floor are food for the pretend birds, the legos are the buildings). i don't want to interrupt her play but there is almost no point in the day where the toys are picked up because the way she plays is that everything is ongoing all day. she always goes back to the "scenarios" she sets up so she really does have like a story line that is ongoing all day. i hope this makes sense. i never heard of a child playing this way but at the end of the night it is overwhelming for her (and me) to have to clean up so many different things.
This is very interesting! I've never heard anything like this either, but sounds like she's a very imaginative young lady. It's as if she's directing a play or world building. There are videogames just for world building, I'm not aware of real life activities though but I wouldn't be surprised if you look it up and find something to redirect her energy to!
Perhaps asign to her a smaller area where she "throws" around her toys so when you put them away you dont have to tidy around the entire place. You could use scotch tape or if there's a carpet she plays on then that carpet becomes an island so all the toys/characters must remain within that area. Hopefully she doesn't put boats and fish in the sea though haha.
Or maybe you can downsize the number of toys she has out for the day by distributing her toys to 7 boxes, one for each day of the week, number them or if she's a bit older you can add the days of the week, either way decorating with a label or picture could be an activity in itself! Or there could be a theme for each box, so some toys are for when they pretend to be at home only, another box is school themed, park themed, holiday, restaurant, granma's house, etc. And this could be an opportunity to learn about some more detailed actions or roles people play in those places.
Hello, my 2-year old girl does the same thing! She takes all her blocks, kitchen utensils, stuffed toys and even music instruments for her pretending play. In those cases, we cleanup before bedtime and in most times, I end up doing the cleaining-up.
This is what my daughter used to do from age 2-10. 😊
You are amazing and great at explaining everything really well! Hope you are all staying safe and healthy during this time! :)
You are a genius and a helpful one! Thank you!
Hi. Good morning. Actually you have provided with lots of options... I might use these to train my 5yr old. Cause everyday he and his father has a fight on this.... Every single day. Thank you so much for doing this video.
I love your videos so much! No kids yet, but I really want to learn everything I can BEFORE I make that big choice. You are an inspiration!
I just found a Montessori school down the road from me. I'm very interested in having my some day child going there.
Thank you for the vlogs and videos!
Yay, ur back with my fav little Mia
Loved this real video, thanks
my daughter is 4 months old and i already bought activities for her as a toddler, just because i am so excited... ( of course i do not present them to her yet)
Cleaning and modeling cleaning has been a big part of mine and my babies daily schedule. It has worked so well and she loves that everything always has a place. She has always put things back where they belong even sometimes without asking. She is now 16 months old and going through a leap in her development where she apparently realises she doesn’t have to do everything I ask. She loves to shake her head and say no like any healthy toddler. Has anyone else experienced this or have any tips for this stage? Nothing seems to be put away back where it belongs now!
I remember I would get sad when my mom didn't want to help me clean up anymore. I just liked the company and when I had to trow things away I could ask her.
Lol the baby cleaning in the background is adorable. Bet she cleans better than me
My daughter (17 months) likes to take everything out whenever I try clean up time 🤦🏻♀️ she gets upset when I start cleaning up! I will definitely try the counting or in thing though and see how it goes.
Omg!! I was waiting for this video. I was about to ask you if you can do a video abt cleaning
Are you always watching? Lol. My daughter often switched already to the next activity. When I ask her to clean up the other toy, I interrupt her second activity... I now just ask her when I'm in time. Or when she wants a totally different activity like play dough or playing outside like you said. Lol I now hear you saying the same... Btw I make a difference between shelves and creative play. For example: play kitchen, stuffed annimals, silks etc. can be "mixed" to her liking :) so yes, it's all over the place but she was using her creativity and playing independent.
Hey Ashley! Love all your video!! 💕
Could you please do a video on how to teach your child "sharing". Thank you!!
Much awaited video.. THANKS Ashley! :)
Thank you so much!!! The information is really valuable and important for everyone!
Buut, I have a little question... 😄
Wnen a child, my mum and I used to clean the house together. Then when I grew up, from time to time i could get upset with mum's uninvolvement. means i did the cleaning while mum did something another (watering or cooking). Why? and what to do with that?
I have been looking forward to this video!! Thank you so much. I love your content btw.. has helped sooo much! Also your girls are ADORABLE 😍
Hi Ashley, I’m a big fan of your videos! You inspired me to start my own UA-cam channel so thank you! I am curious, you mentioned that children have an innate sense of order and like to have things organized naturally, but does having a cluttered room full of shelves and toys inhibit this? Like they are almost overwhelmed by their surroundings and don’t want to put things away because of all the stuff around them? I would think having a minimalist room with just 5-6 toys would invite more order in a child without having to pressure them so much to clean. Am I wrong for thinking this or is it purely just having to guide the child to want to clean?
Thank you! Can you please do a video on getting your Lo to stay at the weaning table during meals? I’m having a hell of a time with my 19mo. 😅
Can you do a video on schedules for a toddler? Including meal times and nap times
Almost 175k amazing. Love your content!
yes, please teach us some tidy up/cleaning up SONGS!! 😍
Ashley you are amazing .❣️❣️❣️❣️
I so needed this video! Thank you!!
Ur every video are superb it helped me in many ways ur language also simple and neat to understand.thank u do more dear keep rocking..
Ashley, I love your videos and advice. You always give such great pointers for helping teach my little one how to human lol...I love your gentle and flexible approach to parenting. Your delivery of the message is great and also helps the Mom remember not to expect perfection “Yes! It is ok if my 2.5 year old doesn’t want to clean up. Shit happens, try again on the next activity!” 😂😂
This is just the video I need after failing to get my toddler to pick up the toys he threw on the floor just now!!
Hi Ashley! I have a suggestion of topic. I have a toddler who constantly mimics the behavior of dogs throughout the day, including cleaning up time, meal times and some random times of the day. she often licks, tries to bark, walk on 4 and carry stuff with her mouth. she is 3 and 1/2. i dont know if this is a schema and how to approach it. i would love some tips on this topic.
Wow, thank you! Very useful video
I love your channel😍
From this beatiful channel i am learning more and more about a montessori lifstyle. 😊
I saw that when your little one was born she had playtime with the mobiles in her baby nest. Was wonder how was the baby nest vs the topponcino ( that is very popular essential in the newborn world of montessori) ?
I need some advice! I feel like I'm constantly reminding my 4.5yr old to do the same things. (for example using a napkin, not clothes. Or turning off a light when he leaves a room) I know it's just part of being a parent but these things I've been saying for so so many months every day and he still needs reminding. Am I reinforcing him to rely on my reminders by saying it every time, or will he eventually get it because of my reminders? Any advice on how to get him to think deeper and on his own about it?
Hi I think maybe you can tell them in more detail like hey if you use the napkin then the dress won't get dirty and your dress can always looks neat I know u like wearing clean and nice dresses also you can involve them in cleaning or washing the dirty dress in a friendlier approach the point is if you say its effect like switching off the light will save electricity bill and introduce them to the concept of conservation of energy they would understand the whole concept of y u r reminding also say after they switched off like hey you switched it off after leaving the room so you are contributing to save our utility bills thank you so much say maybe teaching the effect they are doing might help them.... I'm saying this after watching Ashley's why not to praise children and what to say instead..... You can watch that to get better idea
Kavi gave a great response! It may be that your child doesn't understand the reason for these things so doesn't care about doing them. If you could spark their motivation, that might help!
I read in "how to talk so kids will listen" that the recommendation is instead of saying "turn off the light" or "nagging", you could say "it looks like the light is still on" or "would you like a napkin? " (not sure how to best phrase that one) as it will potentially trigger the child to make the connection themselves instead of relying on you for reminders.
Good luck and let us know how you go!
@@kavi5567 love it thank you!
@@Jumvlbunny thank you! Yes I try not to be direct so he thinks about it "do you need a napkin" "are you done in that room" but I obviously need to step it up a notch.
Could you briefly run through what needs to be done, *before* the meal?
Perhaps a little Q and A, like "Before we eat, we wash our hands. What do we do after we eat?".
Then wait and see if he responds with "Use the napkin to wipe our mouth and hands".
If he does, then acknowledge his response, and say "Ok, how about we put the napkin by the side of your plate, so you can use it when you're done eating".
If he doesn't, you could prompt him by saying "What do we use to clean our mouth and hands? What did we use yesterday?"
If you couch the "reminders" in the form of questions, it puts the onus back on them.
It also makes it more engaging, and comes across less as you "nagging", and more of them recognising what they need to do.
Your videos are awesome! Thank you
It’s worked for my husband tho I came home from church and the dang kitchen was spotless 😂🤣 but no seriously he cleaned that kitchen I wonder if I can apply this method so the bathrooms can be come clean
All the dishes were in dishwasher counters were clean 😳😳😳😳😳😭 Thank You so much God!!! For this
Your bar truly is underground.
Cannot wait to see the fruit results of this newest generation being raised.
Totally not connected to Montessori or your video (which is great as always) but your eye make up is always stunning - I love it! :)
Exactly what I wanted 😍😍😍😍thank you so muchh
Awesome and inspirational!
My 20m old throws everything from the basket n says yay! I m unable to find the blocks n rings as they are under the furniture. Sometimes arranges the books on the shelf. Wanna send my lil one to you for training
Thank you! All makes sense. One question I have is how to approach cleaning up if your toddler has 2-3 activities out but is cross utilising them? So if they are seeing what else fits in the round hole in the object permanence box or threading the rings from their stacker on the xylophone mallet? 😀
I wonder about the same thing as well. My daughter tends to take 3-4 activities out at a time. She sometimes cross utilizes them as well. I'm struggling to know what to do when she takes out so many baskets or activities at once
Literally just posted a video on grace and courtesy on my channel, which ties in so much with this topic too!
I’ll have to go check it out! 🥰
@@HapaFamily oh my gosh wow what a compliment! Thanks! I must say your research is very thorough...one would think you've already done the training!
IsleMontessori Mom Thank YOU! 😚 I’ve done the certification offered through NAMC, which I know is not AMI or AMS and therefore not ideal... but until the girls are in school full time, I wouldn’t be able to commit to the in-person component that’s required. It’s always been important to me to be at home for these first few years, if possible. ☺️ Luckily enough, I do live right next to an AMI training center, so once the girls are in school, that’s the plan! 👍🏻
@@HapaFamily wow you're lucky. And good thinking. Also any training is more ideal than none 😁 I was told before doing it that it is basically like a Masters program and they weren't wrong. It's super intense. There was a mom of 3 in my cohort and she was told if she missed more than 3 sessions she wouldn't pass...
Astounding how there could be any thumbs down!!!
Omg look at Mia!!! 😍
I’m so excited for this! I’ve had so many questions
Can you please talk about how i can have my 11 months old twins leave each other concentrates on their activity. The girl likes to play quietly, but the boy always interrupts her and wants to take her toys even he has the same exact thing. Do i put them in a separate room so each one can have their privacy?? Please help. Thanks
Ashley has a video on managing siblings.
Might be worthwhile checking it out?
@@MC-ko2mx who is Ashley please what is her channel ?
@@chouchouchouchou155 Hapa Fam *is* Ashley's channel.
She is the "presenter" of this video, and mom to Mia and Kylie, the two little girls you see on this channel.
Just search "Hapa Fam" and "sibling", and the videos will come up.
21:42 my mom would let me pick out a toy at the thrift store each week and if I didn't clean up my toys she would donate them back to the thrift store and sometimes I would pick out one of my old toys the next week lol
How do we implement this during bed time and kiddo refuses to stop and get ready for bed??
Amazing
Where do you buy those wooden trays?
What should I do when my child put his toys away with me and then pull everything out again after we finish packing and then wonder off to other activities ?
What to do if I have a set of triplets. I am facing difficulties on finding material to parent multiples. It’s already a mess dealing with them all simultaneously I am afraid I pay them too little attention to teach proper habits that leads them to life
My toddler enjoys putting away her toys, but the thing is as soon as we are (finally) done picking up the 80 mega blocks she just grabs the bag and throw them on the floor again. It desperates meee so much. Any advice?
Do you think it’s still possible to have a Montessori approach for speech delayed kids (2-3 yrs old)
Montessori was first developed for special needs children, so I wouldn't know why not! as long as you adjust to the development of the kid!
Indi B Thanks a lot! Will do more research on how to apply it for my 2 sons.
Hi Arlene, my 3.5year old is speech delayed. We arent fully Montessori but ive been adding elements over time :)
Currently we clean up together before lunch and before bed. Sometimes she will clean up activities in between on her own which is fine with me. Especially since she helps with other tasks around the house.
Ashley has a video on Montessori for children with special needs.
Might be worthwhile checking it out?
You mentioned introducing and changing the cleaning system later, I feel like in general that most of Montessori kinda doesn’t work unless you already do most of it, like... it’s not magic and doesn’t work to combine it with traditional discipline. Is that a video topic maybe?
Have you watched her video on positive discipline?
Once my baby spilled some milk on the floor and when i invited her to clear it up together she just ignored me.then i found that the spills seems like a dinosaur. So i pretend to be surprised about it and said"is that a dinosaur ？i don't want a dinosaur live in my house .let's wipe out it."Then she took some tissues to wipe it right now.I love your channel and i wonder what do you think about this method.՞😃՞
💜💜💜
I'm doing this with my 15 months old but he put the things back in its place and then he takes it out and play with it again and throw I think that is ok but he always throws the books and toys in the floor I tried to say we need to gently put it in its place but still he used to throw it I also tried saying him u can throw a ball instead books should be handled gently even though he is throwing and smiling I don't know how to react or what to say any advice on this
My daughter has had a throwing fase too... Sounds you're doing great, it just might take some time. Maybe he indeed needs things to throw/some rough play. Do you also model to put it back gently or only say?
If they are smiling and doing something they know you don’t appreciate, it could be them acting out because they want our attention. Being loud and disruptive is usually what they tend to resort to if they just want you to play or pay attention to them.
@@marie-louiseweerheim4224 yes I would then again he throw it out so I thought maybe he is in trajectory schema and tried to introduce some other things which he can throw but still he have an association with throwing books
@@clarkandmama4894 Thanks for this I haven't thought in that perspective may be I could try to be attentive next time and see what he is up to
I’m trying to figure this out with my 19 month old. I will model picking up items for her and she thinks it is amusing to take the basket/bucket/container and dump it out again.I’ve got my work cut out for me.
❤️
I don’t think I was this smart when I was young :(
Same here lol
Agreed; such a composed and intelligent young woman.
Anyone french speaking happy to share a clean up song in french?
my son is 16 months old and he is very interested in vacuum cleaner is it normal? 😂