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1:43 complaining that there are no good men out there 3:01 over-communication 4:35 bending over backwards to meet him 6:31 excessive gift-giving 8:09 assuming the future 9:23 over-agreement 10:27 not holding your boundaries
This video is fabulous. Not only do we need to pay attention to other's body language, we must pay attention to our own body language. I read a quote (anonymous) years ago that said, " Love is like a fart; if you push too hard, it's shit."
Matt, I crack up when you crack up at your own lighthearted, exaggerated examples- "You like fresh air? I breathe air, too! We should get together." Hilarious!
Things that come on as desperate from a guy, is if he is rushing. He cannot wait to get together, or be invited home to your place. I see such behavior as desperate or that he probably is a player. Or if he is nagging about meeting up and are not taking things slow. Thank you for sharing. 💓🙏
Or he really likes you and you're playing games. Good men won't wait, especially if you arent worth waiting for. Which most arent. If women actually like you, they dont make you wait.
@@stickman787 well I am over 50 and I don't play games. I have been through too much and learned alot. And I can throw it back at you; if the man is sincere and really likes you, he shows respect, he don't rush and he don't lie and play games. You haven't met me and don't know me and I am worth waiting for, but I believe that there aren't alot of men out there worth waiting for, who isn't already taken. Besides, I have come to a point in life were I realize, that I don't need any man. 😇🙏
@@JanuariJones-cj8bb and again we've seen the opposite displayed in women. If they really like you and theres attraction there they want you Instantly and womt ask you to wait. You only ask the guys you want things from to wait. He isn't a good guy for playing your game. He's seeing your actions and knows you aren't being honest and you're playing games so he's moving on to someone else that won't waste his time.
@@stickman787 I never get anything from a guy and I never ask for anything besides honesty. I am always honest and I have never lied, because I cannot. And maybe that's the probleme. I have morals, I have never cheated, never lied and always been kind and I expect the same in return, but many people think that people like me are boring. It's not fun to be with someone who they know we're they have. So they go on to a person who are just like themselves. Lying and cheering and doing drugs. For me, that is not how I wanna live my life and it's not something I find exciting, but they do. And unfortunately many people do. Do you?
Thanks for this clarifying video 🌟 I’m new to the game - very late bloomer - and I’ve done all of these things even with a platonic guy friend because my life before was so lonely I didn’t know it was desperate…he also had a lot of baggage from previous relationships so was projecting that onto me and my authenticity but that’s just my first situation out the gate 👍
This reminds me when my former partner was soooo disappointed because I don't like motorbikes. He wanted me to buy all the equipment to go biking with him at high speed when I actually find it silly and dangerous. When he left, he said this was one of the reasons why he didn't feel like a "team" with me.
Yeah he was into something. You didn't want to be a part of it. He acknowledged this and left. You aren't a victim. He wasted time on you. Poor guy dodged a bullet.
I’ve done a lot of these and now I feel like omg what an idiot I’ve been now wonder he lost interest and we broke up. Thanks for the video Mat so I know what to not do going forward in the future. Your videos are so helpful, thank you!
One of the most off-putting first dates I ever had was a guy pestered me for a date until I said yes (I've since grown and learned better boundaries and conflict management), then at the date he agreed that he also loved absolutely everything that I said I enjoyed (can't possibly be true). When we parted ways he asked for a kiss because he knew that I'd had a date with someone else and that guy probably got a kiss (that other guy didn't). He said he needed to get a kiss because he's 'a competitive guy'. No, I think he was just a desperate guy. He then called me daily for a few weeks until I politely told him I was not interested. Lots of signs of desperation. Really quite off-putting.
@@stickman787 apparently lots of marriages are ending too it’s like a coin toss of a success rate. I think we’re moving too fast is what I’m saying. We don’t take the time to vet a person before we say we love someone.
When a guy sends me a picture of them showing off their muscles before we've even gone on a date yet...it shows me that's what HE thinks is the best thing about him or what HE thinks is the reason I'm interested in him. And I IMMEDIATELY lose interest!
Actually it shows that he have discipline, that he's able to achieve his goals. It doesn't say that he thinks it's the best thing about him. It doesn’t say that he thinks you think it’s the best thing about him. That's actually what you think he thinks not what he really thinks.
I get what sassysasser is saying.. but it also says the discipline thing... So i would not be so quick to judge over one or 2 photos of the muscles That said - if that's all he sent me, what could be a good way forward?
Funny, made me think of a friend of mine who was always interested in guys but they wanted nothing to do with her. One time this guy said to me, "she has her freak flag raised;, its like a banner across her forehead saying keep the F away from me or else I'll mess you up." Actually, now that I think about it, I've been told by strangers, "why don't you smile?" and "wow if looks could kill I'd be dead." Meanwhile, I wasn't thinking about anything and really not even looking at them. I didn't want to walk around NYC with a big smile on my face LOL
Smart women dont get passed around and find a good man early before thier 30s, way before, they let him run the family and thry have kids and actually take care of them without complaining because they actually love thier family. Those are smart women. Im.imagining that's not his audience
Years ago a guy I just began dating spent way too much on Valentine's day. It made me very uncomfortable. I ended it shortly after for other reasons too.
Hi, how are you doing now, I hope all well with you, I registered here if could get someone to talk with. I don't want to spend life time with wrong people. Please respond to me let me know your thoughts.
Some of what you mentioned as whoa for woman to do ... same goes for what men may do too. I had someone who would text or call me several times a day after 2nd date. I ended up telling him I think we did not have enough in common, and I hope he finds someone more in alignment with his interests. Other big negative is if he is late and does not contact you... I have left without waiting for him to show up if there is no courtesy call of being apologetic. I would certainly let someone know if something happened and I was running late, but it would have to be a good and valid reason. Keep the advice and feedback coming, Mat. Appreciate your videos!! ❤
It depends on how invested this man is. You can repair things with the right man. He will demonstrate this. He will make you a priority and give you his time. If you’ve worked on things within yourself and he still is not stepping up, time to let him go. I forget what show it was but it was about men and advice on dating. This girl showed texts between herself and her “boyfriend.” He looked at them and told her honestly that this man was not interested in her. He told her a very direct but respectful text to send. The guy actually answered. He said “Baby girl, you don’t need to know when i’ll be there. We’re just friends. I’ll see you eventually.” This is a man she was having sex with and who she believed was her boyfriend. All any woman really needs to know- never let a man treat you like an option. Only respond to men that respect your feelings and make you a priority. Instead of having attention on if he’s interested, have attention on the signs of exactly how much he respects you and treats you.
Desperate from a guy can look like: 1. being overly complimentary 2. agreeing too much 3. over sharing too soon 4. maintaining too much contact in the very early stages (as if already in a relationship) 5. Overly anxious every time they don't get a response to a message for eg and seeking constant validation...are u ok? are we ok? 6. Using too many emojis or GIFs in a bid to be cute 7. Creating a false sense of intimacy too soon (this also gives off player type vibes to me)
That actually sounds like you've allowed yourself to be passed around and now you've built up trauma and you're assigning red flags to good behaviors. Also if you're a girl abd you look at "red flags" it shows me you are a red flags. Men have the most to lose, which is why they look at red flags.
It shows they like you. You're reflexing in your trauma response because instead looking for a good guy you went out looking for fun and got passed around. You have issues.
Goodmorning: That person's not looking hard enough. They basically choosing the wrong guy.That over communication thing is funny 😆. That literally does sound desperate. I truly love body language says alot. I don't think ppl believe it does. Body language speaks volumes. Just like a picture.
Things have been weird with him this week and I'm starting to think this is how I've unintentionally been coming off to him. It's giving me anxiety, I'll be honest. I'll try to keep these tips in mind.
Wow this is hilarious. If women experienced just half these "desperate" signs from men, maybe they would get attention from us. This feels like game playing. Just reciprocate and appreciate effort from both parties that truly show effort and interests.
It’s not really. Men just think differently than women do. What you’re actually doing is learning to communicate on his wavelength. And, yes, he should be learning to communicate on yours. But men value things differently. Men intensely value their personal freedom. We women tend to feel great when we are in a committed relationship. Men can, too. But they have to feel that the are wanting it for themselves, not that you are wanting it so much that their first reaction is “she wants this so much that i’m not even sure if i just feel pressured or i actually like her.” It’s really more about what you do is communicating to him. We do it, too. If a guy is constantly staring and getting too close, we don’t like what he is non-verbally saying- even though we may just choose to move away and not tell him he’s acting creepy.
Nice reminder especially about agreeing ... I genuinely did have a ton in common with my ladt date so was honestly enthusiastic about the same things! Should I look for a likely difference to mox it up a bit? He didnt persue me further as on second date was pushing to come home with me ... shame
What felt desperate to me was when a man who liked me was jelaous about my male friends from the very beginning we started dating (and had no reasons for that). 🙄 Being oversensitive or overdramatic: Once a guy burst into tears during our first date and said: "I'm so lucky because you're perfect". That made me scared 😳 To be honest, I guess that what also looks desperate is when a man is not confident at all. I don't mean cocky, but a healthy amount of self-worth is important. Personally, I believe a man for me has to be a bit of a " confident leader " - someone I can trust he is able to solve problems and metaphorically "fight the world" 😊
I had a guy that I met shortly after Christmas for our first date. On said date he started talking about how next Christmas we would go to his Family's place etc etc...I feel like this one can go both ways, because that was not attractive for me (the woman) either.
I met one guy before at first time and even not date. He send me his photo without I asked him. Then he asked me to send photo. I refused. 2, Then, When he met me after first time, he give me for compliments and said that he feel strong attraction with me, give me hug and kiss my head without my consent. I feel really unsafe. At the end, it proved that he is womanizer, luckily I am strong with boundary, but it did upset me a lot for something. So, just give suggestions to woman and if you has low mood at moment or have low self worth because failure. It is very important to take slow pace and love yourself. Not be fool by flattery and fake compliments.
This is so mean, I'm tired of this judgement if someone feels desperately. Yes, the solution is not blindly going into relationships but why on earth does the extreme pain from extremely painful experiences that leads to desperation not deserve gentleness and kindness in return!? I'm tired of having to pretend that I don't have the terrible wounds that I have just in order to not look "desperate" in front of other people, especially men. The information is good to know and to become more aware in general but I'm not going to pretend in order to seem worthy of a man's twisted way of giving kindness.
By the way, I really appreciate that he has the gut's and the warmth to actually address it head-on when he feels something is amiss, like with that gift he received. That's something I wish more people would have the courage and kindness to do instead of ignoring the problem away or ghosting in return. This is a sign of a good person to me.
The third one though - he finds he is in town last minute and asks her to get together she says no I made plans with friend. Wouldn't he also think, "wow, she can't make any time for me - obviously she isn't as in to me as I am into her?" I say this because this is what I've been told by a guy.
The most weird and possibly unsafe date I had was when man took me for a ride in his city and drove outside town to travellers graveyard to take a walk there 🤯 thankfully there were people. I won't ever forget that. During our date police called him because some woman accused him of trying to rape her while she got drunk and took her medications for mental health issues in his place few weeks before I met him 😮 I was speechless when I heard it and he had no problem telling even more about it. He came back home and left me outside at my car as he needed to be present in police station to explain himself. I left gracefully. He still wanted to meet again. He was stocking me on social media. I blocked him everywhere. He wouldn't stop. He started using private number I couldn't block for a while. I had to ask friend with IT skills to help me block him on my device. He clearly showed me his mental health issues. I am safe. He doesn't know where I live🙏 it was 3 years ago.
This makes me wonder why there are so many people on their own (unless they are happy that way). Most of the things you are mentioning here are like a game.. If you like someone be yourself. If he/she likes you allow them to be themselves. If you don't like him/her, just let them know. Otherwise you may end up not being true to yourself.
This is what prevents successful dating, in many cases. There are so many dishonest people in this world. We lock our house because we know this, but we do not believe that there should be any protections we give ourselves in dating. Everyone should have manners and tell the truth. It’s not the world we live in. Letting him show he is investing is protecting your dating life. Giving him room to move closer, because you know that he needs that, and you also need to be sure of his intentions, is a form of caring and emotional intelligence. It’s not all about what you may feel and want to do. It’s kind of like a guy that pressures to have sex. If he had respected you and been aware of your comfort with what he was doing, maybe you would’ve loved another date. But because he wasn’t taking cues and was thinking about what felt ok to him, he didn’t notice you were not ready, and now it feels different and you want to go home. That is what the video is getting at. Just be more aware you may accidentally be sending a message that you want his babies, and he may get uncomfortable.
a needy man...what i call a cling on. after awhile a cling on is annoying...they show up at your place uninvited, they ignore your boundaries for space and me time...they always want we time...they are suffocating.
This is one of the most misguided videos I've EVER viewed. Most men DREAM of a woman having at least one of the mentioned characteristics! We don't need to turn every human interaction into a transactional arrangement, wherein one's a winner and one's a loser. If she is a "fit" and is enthusiastic, SO BE IT. I'll judge each date upon who she is, then go from there; I don't need to worry about whether she's "desperate" or not. Like MLK said, view people by the content of their character, then go from there; it's NOT meant to be that complicated. This video is analysis-paralysis. Take it from me: I'm an engineer and know all about over-analyzing things. 🤣 Interpret each date/interaction on its own merits. Common sense can be a valuable guide. "Throttling" attention because a woman may be viewed as "desperate" is childish, self-centered, and unnecessary. Give good women a chance; you'll find there's not enough of them as it is!!!!
What comes across as desperate or showing low self esteem to me, in a man, is when we make plans for a few days later, then on the day of he sends a message an hour before “so are we still meeting for coffee?” This is a turn-off because the message it sends is: 1. He’s insecure and thinks someone would cancel on him last minute 2. It feels like an insult, for him to think I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t show up for a planned date 3. He doesn’t feel like coming and is hoping I would cancel so he doesn’t have to come If you’re a guy, keep your commitments. And don’t ask the same day if the date is still on. It’s still on. If she hasn’t canceled then it’s obviously still on. Be prepared and on time. If you think she might not show or will cancel last minute and want to check, then this is not the girl for you so don’t even bother asking, just show up and if she doesn’t then that answers your question as to whether she’s worth dating
Here’s one that may come across as desperate by men, is when they tell that they have nothing else to do so they work 7 days/week. I dated two 40+ men that told me that. It made me feel that first of all that they weren’t over their ex so they were desperately working and also that if I were in a relationship with them I would be dependent to give them that joy that they are missing so they would work less and take better care of their health. You can easily see the problems with this stance.
For me a big desperate act is when somebody start complaining about there close relatives like his siblings, parents or may be about close friends A thought come into my mind that if this person is not respecting his close people or cannot see good enough in them then how he will be right one for me?.. A biggest turn off and desperate act because he don't have someone to trust.
Join the Manifest Your Man Program and get coached by Mat Boggs today!
www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session?div=lr&UA-cam&Social&MYM_EVG&CNT_video
1:43 complaining that there are no good men out there
3:01 over-communication
4:35 bending over backwards to meet him
6:31 excessive gift-giving
8:09 assuming the future
9:23 over-agreement
10:27 not holding your boundaries
😮🙋♀Oh dear....guilty 😫
You’re doing the lords work 😂
Isn’t that just called being really into someone????
@@carolinereidartist 🤭
@@carolinereidartist not to guys apparently lol
This video is fabulous. Not only do we need to pay attention to other's body language, we must pay attention to our own body language.
I read a quote (anonymous) years ago that said, " Love is like a fart; if you push too hard, it's shit."
This gave me a good chuckle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂🤣
Love it😂
Wow, so true
Matt, I crack up when you crack up at your own lighthearted, exaggerated examples- "You like fresh air? I breathe air, too! We should get together." Hilarious!
Beautiful things don’t beg for attention ❤
Well said😊
I have far more important, permanent qualities to bring to the table than superficial, fleeting beauty.
@@tlbirdwell1941 beauty comes from within my friend
Yeah ,how are you doing?
@@sanettejansevanrensburg9026 how are you doing?
Thanks. I'm a giver. Never thought of giving coming across this way.
Things that come on as desperate from a guy, is if he is rushing. He cannot wait to get together, or be invited home to your place. I see such behavior as desperate or that he probably is a player. Or if he is nagging about meeting up and are not taking things slow. Thank you for sharing. 💓🙏
Or he really likes you and you're playing games. Good men won't wait, especially if you arent worth waiting for. Which most arent. If women actually like you, they dont make you wait.
@@stickman787 well I am over 50 and I don't play games. I have been through too much and learned alot. And I can throw it back at you; if the man is sincere and really likes you, he shows respect, he don't rush and he don't lie and play games. You haven't met me and don't know me and I am worth waiting for, but I believe that there aren't alot of men out there worth waiting for, who isn't already taken. Besides, I have come to a point in life were I realize, that I don't need any man. 😇🙏
@@JanuariJones-cj8bb and again we've seen the opposite displayed in women. If they really like you and theres attraction there they want you Instantly and womt ask you to wait. You only ask the guys you want things from to wait. He isn't a good guy for playing your game. He's seeing your actions and knows you aren't being honest and you're playing games so he's moving on to someone else that won't waste his time.
@@stickman787 I never get anything from a guy and I never ask for anything besides honesty. I am always honest and I have never lied, because I cannot. And maybe that's the probleme. I have morals, I have never cheated, never lied and always been kind and I expect the same in return, but many people think that people like me are boring. It's not fun to be with someone who they know we're they have. So they go on to a person who are just like themselves. Lying and cheering and doing drugs. For me, that is not how I wanna live my life and it's not something I find exciting, but they do. And unfortunately many people do. Do you?
@@stickman787sir you are a literal stranger. That’s how people end up dead, trafficked or worse!
I did all of this lol, but I don't regret anything, it's just the way I was or am. :)
Thanks for this clarifying video 🌟 I’m new to the game - very late bloomer - and I’ve done all of these things even with a platonic guy friend because my life before was so lonely I didn’t know it was desperate…he also had a lot of baggage from previous relationships so was projecting that onto me and my authenticity but that’s just my first situation out the gate 👍
Matt, I was going to throw you back to you. Just as I was about to hit the comment button you beat me to it. Lol
"The right one won't run."
This reminds me when my former partner was soooo disappointed because I don't like motorbikes. He wanted me to buy all the equipment to go biking with him at high speed when I actually find it silly and dangerous. When he left, he said this was one of the reasons why he didn't feel like a "team" with me.
It is dangerous...
But you still became partners for a time .. right?
You are better off without him! ❤
😮 Thank God he is gone be grateful, this wasn't someone who you want in your life, he discarded you, it says more about him than you
Yeah he was into something. You didn't want to be a part of it. He acknowledged this and left. You aren't a victim. He wasted time on you. Poor guy dodged a bullet.
I’ve done a lot of these and now I feel like omg what an idiot I’ve been now wonder he lost interest and we broke up. Thanks for the video Mat so I know what to not do going forward in the future. Your videos are so helpful, thank you!
One of the most off-putting first dates I ever had was a guy pestered me for a date until I said yes (I've since grown and learned better boundaries and conflict management), then at the date he agreed that he also loved absolutely everything that I said I enjoyed (can't possibly be true). When we parted ways he asked for a kiss because he knew that I'd had a date with someone else and that guy probably got a kiss (that other guy didn't). He said he needed to get a kiss because he's 'a competitive guy'. No, I think he was just a desperate guy. He then called me daily for a few weeks until I politely told him I was not interested. Lots of signs of desperation. Really quite off-putting.
Why do you keep men around you dont date?
Saying they love me in the first week of meeting me
Massive turn off & red flag!
One man actually said that and we hadn’t even met in person! Yup, he just knew that I was “the one “. No, no I am not the one. 🙄🚩🚩🚩
Lots of marriage happen within 6 months. You dont need to court and date forever.
@@stickman787 apparently lots of marriages are ending too it’s like a coin toss of a success rate. I think we’re moving too fast is what I’m saying. We don’t take the time to vet a person before we say we love someone.
Awesome tips for the future.
Some women put themselves up as “bargain sale” or at worse, “ free”. Have self respect and don’t devalue yourself.
After 30 they are all bargain bin
I sometimes do 1, 2, 3 or 4...not every time and not all of them together..but sometimes I read the room wrong
I hope i can remember all this.
When a guy sends me a picture of them showing off their muscles before we've even gone on a date yet...it shows me that's what HE thinks is the best thing about him or what HE thinks is the reason I'm interested in him. And I IMMEDIATELY lose interest!
Actually it shows that he have discipline, that he's able to achieve his goals.
It doesn't say that he thinks it's the best thing about him. It doesn’t say that he thinks you think it’s the best thing about him. That's actually what you think he thinks not what he really thinks.
That says a lot about you not him.
I get what sassysasser is saying.. but it also says the discipline thing... So i would not be so quick to judge over one or 2 photos of the muscles
That said - if that's all he sent me, what could be a good way forward?
That fact that you think it's showing off sounds more like you have issues than the guy taking the picture.
Funny, made me think of a friend of mine who was always interested in guys but they wanted nothing to do with her. One time this guy said to me, "she has her freak flag raised;, its like a banner across her forehead saying keep the F away from me or else I'll mess you up." Actually, now that I think about it, I've been told by strangers, "why don't you smile?" and "wow if looks could kill I'd be dead." Meanwhile, I wasn't thinking about anything and really not even looking at them. I didn't want to walk around NYC with a big smile on my face LOL
Men like nice women who are nice to them.
Great advices matt they sound like quotes from Why men fall in love with smart women by Sherry Argo, great book and awesome video. Fantastic reminders
Smart women dont get passed around and find a good man early before thier 30s, way before, they let him run the family and thry have kids and actually take care of them without complaining because they actually love thier family. Those are smart women. Im.imagining that's not his audience
Hey ,how are you doing?
Hey ,how are you doing?
Package of candy and car decorations remind me of "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"
Love your shirt by the way.
Years ago a guy I just began dating spent way too much on Valentine's day. It made me very uncomfortable. I ended it shortly after for other reasons too.
Hi, how are you doing now, I hope all well with you, I registered here if could get someone to talk with. I don't want to spend life time with wrong people. Please respond to me let me know your thoughts.
Some of what you mentioned as whoa for woman to do ... same goes for what men may do too. I had someone who would text or call me several times a day after 2nd date. I ended up telling him I think we did not have enough in common, and I hope he finds someone more in alignment with his interests. Other big negative is if he is late and does not contact you... I have left without waiting for him to show up if there is no courtesy call of being apologetic. I would certainly let someone know if something happened and I was running late, but it would have to be a good and valid reason. Keep the advice and feedback coming, Mat. Appreciate your videos!! ❤
Yeah ,how are you doing
I did all of these 🤦♀️ 1st relationship after a rotten marriage- had a lot to learn lol, can u repair this relationship or jus move on to the next ?
It depends on how invested this man is. You can repair things with the right man. He will demonstrate this. He will make you a priority and give you his time. If you’ve worked on things within yourself and he still is not stepping up, time to let him go. I forget what show it was but it was about men and advice on dating. This girl showed texts between herself and her “boyfriend.” He looked at them and told her honestly that this man was not interested in her. He told her a very direct but respectful text to send. The guy actually answered. He said “Baby girl, you don’t need to know when i’ll be there. We’re just friends. I’ll see you eventually.” This is a man she was having sex with and who she believed was her boyfriend. All any woman really needs to know- never let a man treat you like an option. Only respond to men that respect your feelings and make you a priority. Instead of having attention on if he’s interested, have attention on the signs of exactly how much he respects you and treats you.
Desperate from a guy can look like:
1. being overly complimentary
2. agreeing too much
3. over sharing too soon
4. maintaining too much contact in the very early stages (as if already in a relationship)
5. Overly anxious every time they don't get a response to a message for eg and seeking constant validation...are u ok? are we ok?
6. Using too many emojis or GIFs in a bid to be cute
7. Creating a false sense of intimacy too soon (this also gives off player type vibes to me)
That actually sounds like you've allowed yourself to be passed around and now you've built up trauma and you're assigning red flags to good behaviors. Also if you're a girl abd you look at "red flags" it shows me you are a red flags. Men have the most to lose, which is why they look at red flags.
It shows they like you. You're reflexing in your trauma response because instead looking for a good guy you went out looking for fun and got passed around. You have issues.
Solid comment. I needed to hear this.
Saying they are getting feelings for me after the 2nd or 3rd date
Goodmorning: That person's not looking hard enough. They basically choosing the wrong guy.That over communication thing is funny 😆. That literally does sound desperate. I truly love body language says alot. I don't think ppl believe it does. Body language speaks volumes. Just like a picture.
If he tells me the second time we talk that I’m in his heart and asks for my permission to tell his children about ‘us’…
Really
how long in the relationship do you ascertain a hookup ? and if he is desperate about it? how to deal with it ?
Things have been weird with him this week and I'm starting to think this is how I've unintentionally been coming off to him. It's giving me anxiety, I'll be honest. I'll try to keep these tips in mind.
Wow this is hilarious. If women experienced just half these "desperate" signs from men, maybe they would get attention from us. This feels like game playing. Just reciprocate and appreciate effort from both parties that truly show effort and interests.
It is not game playing.. Its about investment and return of investment, having self worth, self love and boundaries
And if men behave this way.. Then it is possible they are a love bomber?!
It’s not really. Men just think differently than women do. What you’re actually doing is learning to communicate on his wavelength. And, yes, he should be learning to communicate on yours. But men value things differently. Men intensely value their personal freedom. We women tend to feel great when we are in a committed relationship. Men can, too. But they have to feel that the are wanting it for themselves, not that you are wanting it so much that their first reaction is “she wants this so much that i’m not even sure if i just feel pressured or i actually like her.” It’s really more about what you do is communicating to him. We do it, too. If a guy is constantly staring and getting too close, we don’t like what he is non-verbally saying- even though we may just choose to move away and not tell him he’s acting creepy.
It what if you do this, and you look totally disinterested
Hey ,how are you doing?
Very good
Nice reminder especially about agreeing ... I genuinely did have a ton in common with my ladt date so was honestly enthusiastic about the same things! Should I look for a likely difference to mox it up a bit?
He didnt persue me further as on second date was pushing to come home with me ... shame
I found myself in first 3 min of the video. How can I change my angry appearance when I focus on something? any advice..
Wow, I learn so much from you and you are sooo charming and knolwedge.
As you take time to get to know them, some people will drop you the minute someone else drops their pants.
Be true to you⭐️
these tips sound like insecure attachment patterns. Heidi Priebe's channel has great videos on these topics. ❤
Hello,how are you doing?
What felt desperate to me was when a man who liked me was jelaous about my male friends from the very beginning we started dating (and had no reasons for that). 🙄
Being oversensitive or overdramatic: Once a guy burst into tears during our first date and said: "I'm so lucky because you're perfect". That made me scared 😳
To be honest, I guess that what also looks desperate is when a man is not confident at all. I don't mean cocky, but a healthy amount of self-worth is important. Personally, I believe a man for me has to be a bit of a " confident leader " - someone I can trust he is able to solve problems and metaphorically "fight the world" 😊
But interpretation is whose problem, really? Yours or theirs? I just lost a guy I’ve been seeing for 6 months…about 5 mins ago😊😢
Exactly I did those mistakes. But I pulled back now and I miss him. What should I do? 😢
You just have to move on, well how are you doing?
I had a guy that I met shortly after Christmas for our first date. On said date he started talking about how next Christmas we would go to his Family's place etc etc...I feel like this one can go both ways, because that was not attractive for me (the woman) either.
Beautiful ❤️
I met one guy before at first time and even not date. He send me his photo without I asked him. Then he asked me to send photo. I refused.
2, Then, When he met me after first time, he give me for compliments and said that he feel strong attraction with me, give me hug and kiss my head without my consent. I feel really unsafe. At the end, it proved that he is womanizer, luckily I am strong with boundary, but it did upset me a lot for something. So, just give suggestions to woman and if you has low mood at moment or have low self worth because failure. It is very important to take slow pace and love yourself. Not be fool by flattery and fake compliments.
Didn't like him but still chose to go out with them. I wonder why?
I did not even go out with him. He just come to my company to fix things. Just meet like strangers in public at first time.
This is so mean, I'm tired of this judgement if someone feels desperately. Yes, the solution is not blindly going into relationships but why on earth does the extreme pain from extremely painful experiences that leads to desperation not deserve gentleness and kindness in return!? I'm tired of having to pretend that I don't have the terrible wounds that I have just in order to not look "desperate" in front of other people, especially men.
The information is good to know and to become more aware in general but I'm not going to pretend in order to seem worthy of a man's twisted way of giving kindness.
By the way, I really appreciate that he has the gut's and the warmth to actually address it head-on when he feels something is amiss, like with that gift he received. That's something I wish more people would have the courage and kindness to do instead of ignoring the problem away or ghosting in return. This is a sign of a good person to me.
The third one though - he finds he is in town last minute and asks her to get together she says no I made plans with friend. Wouldn't he also think, "wow, she can't make any time for me - obviously she isn't as in to me as I am into her?" I say this because this is what I've been told by a guy.
I have finally given up on guys. I am so much better alone, i have been used so many times by guys I'm fed of getting my heart broken.
Thank goodness I don’t do these/ hold my boundaries naturally 😮💨
Hi ,how are you
This was a good video! ❤ Thank you for making it!
How are you doing xx?
You’re so bad😂😂👏👏👌👌
The most weird and possibly unsafe date I had was when man took me for a ride in his city and drove outside town to travellers graveyard to take a walk there 🤯 thankfully there were people. I won't ever forget that. During our date police called him because some woman accused him of trying to rape her while she got drunk and took her medications for mental health issues in his place few weeks before I met him 😮 I was speechless when I heard it and he had no problem telling even more about it. He came back home and left me outside at my car as he needed to be present in police station to explain himself. I left gracefully. He still wanted to meet again. He was stocking me on social media. I blocked him everywhere. He wouldn't stop. He started using private number I couldn't block for a while. I had to ask friend with IT skills to help me block him on my device. He clearly showed me his mental health issues. I am safe. He doesn't know where I live🙏 it was 3 years ago.
Omg.. My stupid heart💔😂
sending too many messages and saying I love you 1st.
This makes me wonder why there are so many people on their own (unless they are happy that way). Most of the things you are mentioning here are like a game..
If you like someone be yourself. If he/she likes you allow them to be themselves. If you don't like him/her, just let them know. Otherwise you may end up not being true to yourself.
This is what prevents successful dating, in many cases. There are so many dishonest people in this world. We lock our house because we know this, but we do not believe that there should be any protections we give ourselves in dating. Everyone should have manners and tell the truth. It’s not the world we live in. Letting him show he is investing is protecting your dating life. Giving him room to move closer, because you know that he needs that, and you also need to be sure of his intentions, is a form of caring and emotional intelligence. It’s not all about what you may feel and want to do. It’s kind of like a guy that pressures to have sex. If he had respected you and been aware of your comfort with what he was doing, maybe you would’ve loved another date. But because he wasn’t taking cues and was thinking about what felt ok to him, he didn’t notice you were not ready, and now it feels different and you want to go home. That is what the video is getting at. Just be more aware you may accidentally be sending a message that you want his babies, and he may get uncomfortable.
a needy man...what i call a cling on. after awhile a cling on is annoying...they show up at your place uninvited, they ignore your boundaries for space and me time...they always want we time...they are suffocating.
I’m going to die alone 😢
Cringe… after being with the same man for 22 years… the first man I dated and eventually slept with… we did all of that to each other.
Ask my marital status in first met very shortly and guess my source of income / way of making a living
This is one of the most misguided videos I've EVER viewed. Most men DREAM of a woman having at least one of the mentioned characteristics! We don't need to turn every human interaction into a transactional arrangement, wherein one's a winner and one's a loser. If she is a "fit" and is enthusiastic, SO BE IT. I'll judge each date upon who she is, then go from there; I don't need to worry about whether she's "desperate" or not. Like MLK said, view people by the content of their character, then go from there; it's NOT meant to be that complicated. This video is analysis-paralysis. Take it from me: I'm an engineer and know all about over-analyzing things. 🤣 Interpret each date/interaction on its own merits. Common sense can be a valuable guide. "Throttling" attention because a woman may be viewed as "desperate" is childish, self-centered, and unnecessary. Give good women a chance; you'll find there's not enough of them as it is!!!!
What comes across as desperate or showing low self esteem to me, in a man, is when we make plans for a few days later, then on the day of he sends a message an hour before “so are we still meeting for coffee?”
This is a turn-off because the message it sends is:
1. He’s insecure and thinks someone would cancel on him last minute
2. It feels like an insult, for him to think I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t show up for a planned date
3. He doesn’t feel like coming and is hoping I would cancel so he doesn’t have to come
If you’re a guy, keep your commitments. And don’t ask the same day if the date is still on. It’s still on. If she hasn’t canceled then it’s obviously still on. Be prepared and on time. If you think she might not show or will cancel last minute and want to check, then this is not the girl for you so don’t even bother asking, just show up and if she doesn’t then that answers your question as to whether she’s worth dating
Men Lying about who they really are. Doesn't work for me.
Here’s one that may come across as desperate by men, is when they tell that they have nothing else to do so they work 7 days/week. I dated two 40+ men that told me that. It made me feel that first of all that they weren’t over their ex so they were desperately working and also that if I were in a relationship with them I would be dependent to give them that joy that they are missing so they would work less and take better care of their health. You can easily see the problems with this stance.
I started agreeing with all of this then went…. WTF! What’s wrong with men?
RBF is such an unfortunate term, surely invented by a snarky someone who is always trying to bring others down.
Lying
For me a big desperate act is when somebody start complaining about there close relatives like his siblings, parents or may be about close friends
A thought come into my mind that if this person is not respecting his close people or cannot see good enough in them then how he will be right one for me?..
A biggest turn off and desperate act because he don't have someone to trust.