Being a push over diminishes your character as a person. I started my assertive journey and I’m loosing relationships, yet I do feel more peaceful. This is inspiring me to continue what I have been doing :)
I really liked what you said "you are tired of being invisible. you wanne be valued. you want people to recognise you" and "I knew that if I wanted to be treated differently I needed to set new boundaries". Honestly i thought it was other people's fault that i was not value but i was not valued because i did not value myself and did not demand to be valued. I wish ofcourse that people should value others not matter how much self worth they have but they generally don't!!! If you do not respect yourself they do not respect you that much unfortunately you have to claim that. Life is a struggle...
Good to be assertive do the work in the right way or in a proper direction even you are pressurise by certain people if you are doing job under a heavy pressure or under some type worries then you could not able to do focus on that so first of all you have to set your boundaries then make sure your work is neither tough not easy for you and when you are busy in your work always focus on your goal after setting the boundaries of you try to do all task even it is out of your boundaries the you could not do the task even your own so be passionate and do the work in a good way .
My boss: "John, I _don't_ think you can work the coffee service by yourself. I told you _not_ to sign up for shifts by yourself. You need someone there to guide you and give you instructions. I don't know how much clearer I can be about that." Hypothetical/assertive responses I _should_ have given: 1. [mellow voice] "Well, [boss], don't you think if you say something like that, you might as well just tell me I'm inept and unintelligent?" 2. "My family always taught me to believe in my abilities and be self-confident." 3. "Well, if we keep me in a cage based on _assumptions_ about my skills, we can't discover my potential." 4. [calm, factual voice] "You know, if I said something like that to a person with a learning disability, they would think I was superficial, hurtful, and belittling." Thoughts on each response?
It's important to work within the boundaries that have been set. You can stretch those boundaries and take initiative in some cases. I would recommend that you tell your boss you'd like more responsibility. And ask how you can get that. Tell them what ideas you have to take on more responsibility or show initiative. Get them on board first, then they won't be surprised.
Bravo. But I always think that my super obsessiv ego self need controll. But you describe right situation.. I understand what do you mean. When you says "This people" them är only our mirror and reflect us self or unconscious part of us. So yes good to know that everything is inside myself to work by. ❤
This is such a helpful video. Can you recommend and books to learn More of these strategies? Also, what do you do when you are assertive but others also are being assertive and both opinions are reasonable options? How to assertively give way to others wants or opinions? Like you want Chinese and they want Italian?
Extraordinary tips ⭐ Kara as an online design entrepreneur how to convince/get potential clients by using linked in to trust us with a portfolio as beginner & work with us for projects in a competitive market where many experienced people are available in abundance to get those deals ? How to set us apart from that crowd or make the competition irrelevant..
Great question Mohib! I would suggest to create a portfolio of your work. Potential clients will want to know what your work is like before engaging you. You can post about your work on LinkedIn or post about your journey in becoming an online design entrepreneur. And if possible, have a website or online presence where you can send potential clients too.
Thanks for your question Richard! I usually tell people to remember that learning how to be assertive takes time and it's a journey. If speaking in an assertive way is something you're not used to, it can feel very strange or like you're being aggressive (when you're not). I recommend to start by practicing with people you feel you can be assertive with. Strangely, people you don't know is best for this. Then you can develop the confidence to be assertive with more people and with ones you know. Also start with simply/easy things you'd like to say, like asking someone to do something for you. Then you can move on to more difficult topics. If learning how to be assertive is something you're interested in, I highly recommend my Assertive Communication Skills Masterclass on Udemy where I go into all of this in more detail and give you practice exercises too. Here's a link if you want to check it out www.udemy.com/course/assertive-communication-skills-masterclass/?referralCode=91E0C72EBD36C4BC684B
Being a push over diminishes your character as a person. I started my assertive journey and I’m loosing relationships, yet I do feel more peaceful. This is inspiring me to continue what I have been doing :)
How did you get started?? I’m 37 and feel like I’ve always been a pishover
Assertiveness prevents being bullied in life. Great advice you shared.
I really liked what you said "you are tired of being invisible. you wanne be valued. you want people to recognise you" and "I knew that if I wanted to be treated differently I needed to set new boundaries". Honestly i thought it was other people's fault that i was not value but i was not valued because i did not value myself and did not demand to be valued. I wish ofcourse that people should value others not matter how much self worth they have but they generally don't!!! If you do not respect yourself they do not respect you that much unfortunately you have to claim that. Life is a struggle...
it’s crazy how life works this way
Are you a passive communicator? Do you think assertiveness can help you too?
Dear Kara, It is like you are describing exactly what I am going through... can't thank you enough!
I'm glad this video has helped you understand that you're not alone in this.
Thanks Kara..very inspiring content. It helps me to overcome my passives way of communication
I can't tell you how thankful I am for this video! Thank you so much Kara
I'm so glad to hear that Jay! This is wonderful message to wake up to this morning 🤗
This was great. The next step is to role play assertive scenarios.
Amazing you! I hope to implement some of these assertiveness in my communication skills. Thank you!
Good to be assertive do the work in the right way or in a proper direction even you are pressurise by certain people if you are doing job under a heavy pressure or under some type worries then you could not able to do focus on that so first of all you have to set your boundaries then make sure your work is neither tough not easy for you and when you are busy in your work always focus on your goal after setting the boundaries of you try to do all task even it is out of your boundaries the you could not do the task even your own so be passionate and do the work in a good way .
Im able to communicate my ideas freely assertively
Your experience describes me exactly wow your story is amazing !!!
Thanks Kara very helpful
It’s such a supportive lecture!🏆🎸
Excellent information
I needed this
I'm so glad you found this video!
My boss: "John, I _don't_ think you can work the coffee service by yourself. I told you _not_ to sign up for shifts by yourself. You need someone there to guide you and give you instructions. I don't know how much clearer I can be about that."
Hypothetical/assertive responses I _should_ have given:
1. [mellow voice] "Well, [boss], don't you think if you say something like that, you might as well just tell me I'm inept and unintelligent?"
2. "My family always taught me to believe in my abilities and be self-confident."
3. "Well, if we keep me in a cage based on _assumptions_ about my skills, we can't discover my potential."
4. [calm, factual voice] "You know, if I said something like that to a person with a learning disability, they would think I was superficial, hurtful, and belittling."
Thoughts on each response?
It's important to work within the boundaries that have been set. You can stretch those boundaries and take initiative in some cases. I would recommend that you tell your boss you'd like more responsibility. And ask how you can get that. Tell them what ideas you have to take on more responsibility or show initiative. Get them on board first, then they won't be surprised.
Excellent video! I love all the videos you have. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much!
I want to thank you whit all my ♥️ for be like you R !
Thank you so much Roberto!
Bravo. But I always think that my super obsessiv ego self need controll.
But you describe right situation..
I understand what do you mean.
When you says "This people" them är only our mirror and reflect us self or unconscious part of us.
So yes good to know that everything is inside myself to work by.
❤
I'm glad this video was helpful for you!
Love the topics you cover.. So relevant..
Thank you so much for your support!
This is such a helpful video. Can you recommend and books to learn More of these strategies? Also, what do you do when you are assertive but others also are being assertive and both opinions are reasonable options? How to assertively give way to others wants or opinions?
Like you want Chinese and they want Italian?
Extraordinary tips ⭐
Kara as an online design entrepreneur how to convince/get potential clients by using linked in to trust us with a portfolio as beginner & work with us for projects in a competitive market where many experienced people are available in abundance to get those deals ? How to set us apart from that crowd or make the competition irrelevant..
Great question Mohib! I would suggest to create a portfolio of your work. Potential clients will want to know what your work is like before engaging you. You can post about your work on LinkedIn or post about your journey in becoming an online design entrepreneur. And if possible, have a website or online presence where you can send potential clients too.
I would love to see your body language video
You should definitely check it out. I've linked to it in the description of the video.
Dear Kara...how I confidence with my English?
Confidence will come as you practice English more.
Thank you Kara for valuable tips. Do you have any suggestion on how to practice the assertiveness?
Thanks for your question Richard! I usually tell people to remember that learning how to be assertive takes time and it's a journey. If speaking in an assertive way is something you're not used to, it can feel very strange or like you're being aggressive (when you're not). I recommend to start by practicing with people you feel you can be assertive with. Strangely, people you don't know is best for this. Then you can develop the confidence to be assertive with more people and with ones you know. Also start with simply/easy things you'd like to say, like asking someone to do something for you. Then you can move on to more difficult topics. If learning how to be assertive is something you're interested in, I highly recommend my Assertive Communication Skills Masterclass on Udemy where I go into all of this in more detail and give you practice exercises too. Here's a link if you want to check it out www.udemy.com/course/assertive-communication-skills-masterclass/?referralCode=91E0C72EBD36C4BC684B
Kara so you do one on one coaching ?
🙏🏾
I'm just trying to be me...
It's so important to be yourself and stay true to your values in life.