As someone who has chronic pelvic pain as well as mental health diagnoses, I appreciate your openness on this video. It is really hard to deal with pain and disfunction when it is in your reproductive system... For me, I know I deal with a lot of shame, because I feel like I shouldn't have problems in that area. I feel like it should just work properly! But that is not my reality, and it is really hard to accept that even after more than a decade of issues. It definitely took a toll on my mental health, and it can be hard to give myself compassion and understanding when I get really low and am trapped in a pain cycle. Please know that you are not alone, and that talking about this subject helps the rest of us who are suffering feel less alone too. None of us are perfect, pain and mental health is a difficult and messy journey. You can make it to more better days than bad days, but don't forget to let yourself heal with grace.
Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been, Amanda!!!!!! As someone with a platform, it’s so helpful for you to talk about your experience because it reminds your viewers that they are not alone in their struggles either. Hang in there, we love you and we want you to be happy, healthy, and safe!
"Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been" absolutely, facing a reality, thats a massive positive.
That's so true. Talking about it hopefully makes you free and eventually get you to a place where you are healed. Rooting for you and others suffering from depression
as someone who's struggled with chronic depression and female reproductive issues for over a decade i really resonated with you telling your story and struggles. it's such a scary thing to do especially when our jobs are centred around creating a safe happy space for others online. Just wanted to say that you're a badass and such a strong person for not only going through this with your head held high but for also sharing this with everyone. everything will be okay, just keep reminding yourself of that fact. i can tell you from experience that there is no feeling better than when you get to the other side of that tunnel. stay strong Amanda, always here if you need a chat 💕
As a Doctor working in OBGYN, I commend you on how maturely and concisely you spoke about such a difficult period for you. You definitely will bring greater awareness to this, just by sharing your experience and hopefully enlighten healthcare professionals who fail to advocate for both Women’s health and Mental health, especially amongst the youth. Thank you for this, and always remember to listen to your body - you have been with it longer than any healthcare professional has.
Depression creeps up on people. It’s silent but deadly. Never ignore the signs and don’t be afraid to ask help. You’re not alone. And you got this, Amanda! 💪🏽
Very true I feel honoured to be one of her little doodles and someone she trusts not to bottle up her emotions but share and lift off a weight. That takes courage
It's amazing to see the majority of the comments being positive as I scroll down, this feels so nice knowing that this community definitely gives space to nurture
I’ve been a silent supporter/viewer for yearsssss now but I wanted to comment today to let you know you are so loved and so supported. It takes a lot of bravery to be open and vulnerable like this and although it is hard, I appreciate you so much for being honest about things like this. I think it can be so easy for people to get caught up in comparisons or even just the illusion of picture perfect lives on social media, from influencers and non influencers alike. So thank you for normalizing this topic and bringing awareness to it and letting your viewers know NO ONE has a “picture perfect” life. I am wishing you nothing but the best during this time. Be gracious with yourself, show yourself love and patience. We are ALL rooting for you. Sending you so much love
this is the best comment ever, i wish i were so eloquent. my thoughts and feelings are the same for Amanda so glad you chose to speak up this time Emily.
I’m so sorry you have been navigating all of that. I am in the middle of the same thing.😭 I developed an autoimmune disorder from everything and it’s been so hard to walk through. I’m so grateful you shared your story.
i had my period for 6 months in 2020, went to the hospital twice and had 2 surgeries for the same reason!! i also had a way thicker lining than normal in addition to the polyps. i dealt with this for a year before it was resolved fully. if these things grow outside of your uterus it is considered cancerous and they will have to remove ur uterus completely, so if you experience any symptoms that amanda mentioned PLS get checked out asap!!
Thank you for sharing! I have some family, since young adults and even a young adult since young, that experience similar extreme menstruation. And it often pained me, because since they're not married, there's always this either taboo or unnecessary justifications for not going to a gynae and especially not any sort of internal exam. Women's reproductive health is truly something I'm sure all over the world we need to be more open about speaking about. Like an aunt was going through a medical difficulty and didn't want anyone to know. But her daughter started feeling desperate because of the circumstances, and guess what, just sharing it in a safe space, appropriate advice from someone who had the exact issues ended up helping her immensely.
Oh, Amanda 😔 I’m so sorry you’ve been facing these health issues, both physical and mental, for so long. I’m so glad you’re finally in a place of treatment and have hope on the horizon that things will get better. Depression is so hard to live with and seeing all you continue to accomplish despite your brain working against you is something to be so so proud of ❤ please be kind to yourself, because you really do deserve that self compassion. I’m always a text message away if you want to talk through some of that messy hard sad stuff. Sending you the biggest hug 🫂
Hemoglobin is the molecule inside the red blood cells that carries oxygen to the cells of your body, a vital step for most metabolism pathways. It's a very important little buddy! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that experience, Amanda. I can't imagine how hard it must have been. You've got our support and love
Hi Amanda. FWIW from my fifty-year-old perspective and as a fan, I think you are handling all of this with grace and strength. And generosity because so many of us can relate to what you're talking about and hearing someone with your platform share your own experiences helps us all to feel less alone. So thank you and bless you! You got this!
Amanda, you don't know how much this video speaks so much to me. I've also experienced the same thing last year with all the heavy bleeding, being low in iron, feeling so down and all that. I was really scared with the results as well and what will happen with the future. Thankfully, my doctor said it was nothing serious. But still, I know how hard it is to go through all of these things happening in our physical and mental health. I hope you know that you are not alone and that just by existing in this platform, you're already helping a lot of us out here to keep pushing and fighting. You are amazing and you are needed in this world. Sending you lots of love from Japan! ❤
I get the fleeting thoughts of death. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to harm myself but it’s exactly what you said - “it would be easier if I was dead.” There’s moments of highs and lows. Be gentle with yourself. Take care and lean on those you can count on. You’re so loved.
THANKS FOR SHARING WITH US! The last friday I had hospital visit and they say me that I didn't have ovarian cancer again. It was so relieve... I'm diagnosticated with Fibromyalgia, Depression (yeah, I know this fleeting thoughts but I tried too...), Anxiety, Talasemia (genetic anemia),... The life is hard, but it's a gift. Enjoy it! Always search for good professional help (I found a lot of horrible doctors and wrong diagnosis) and real good people (toxic people out!). Really, thanks for sharing with us, you're a wonderful person. Please, never forget that.
It takes a lot from someone to be so vulnerable on camera. I just hope you’re feeling better and continue to do so. We’re rooting for you as Lil Doodles.
8:56 omg! in the end of 2019, because my iron was so low, i had to get 5 weeks of iron injections. like 1 per week. i’ve never heard of anyone getting this before. thanks so much for talking about it..🥺 *edit* 14:47 amanda. this video was definitely meant for me.. i’ve been back and forth with the hospital trying to get an ultrasound for my ridiculously heavy periods. i thought i was the only one on the earth who bl*eds an insane amount. i actually have to wear adult diapers and i get my periods every 2 and a half to 3 weeks. i could go on and on about the weird symptoms that i get such as shortness of breath and like chest pains but i’ll spare you. *amanda* you have no idea how much this video means to me. i’m gonna show part of this to my mom because she’s been trying to figure what’s wrong with me too and doing whatever she can to take care of me.. thanks soooo much… i wish i could come to canada just to hug you.😢😢 -jamie
So many women's issues are overlooked. Lots of women have fx endometriosis but doctors never check them out properly and just accept the pain / problems. I hope you find the cause and preventive solutions like maybe microbiom or other. God bless ❤️
ua-cam.com/video/coxBNJxBUeo/v-deo.html 😂 Sorry to meddle! Here is a video about the microbiom being connected to polyps / pcos / hormonal imbalance and the microbiom is definitely connected to our mood. So I was wondering what changed when your periods first became so extreme. Did you have to take lots of antibiotics fx...
I commend you for your courage in sharing your personal struggles with medical health and mental health. You have helped many by bringing awareness to these very important issues. Praying for you Amanda.
The ability for you to come out and speak about this - all of this - can, and most likely will save and help other people. It’s refreshing to know that we are all human, and we all have issues, as different and diverse as they are. I mean, I’m 40 years old, watching you do journaling. I am married, I have a daughter and 3 dogs. BUT…YOU helped me get back into my artistic talent, YOU are a breath of fresh air in my life of chaos. I know that many of us will support you, pray for you, and be patient with you on this journey. Thank you for this video, and I do hope this relieves your fears as much as our concerns. And Thank You for everything you do!!!! (oh, and you need a puppy!)
I'm super late on commenting but I 100% agree with you about having insanely low iron. As someone who has really low iron you need a lot more sleep than the regular person, you're always tired, and it takes a lot of your energy to do stuff in the middle of the day. I'm still in high school but since I have low iron, I feel like I'm in my 30s sometimes since I get exhausted so easily. I do all of these extra curriculars, get community service hours, dance, and etc I'm honestly surprised that I'm still doing pretty well. But thank you for sharing this with us! I deeply appreciate you being vulnerable and real with us. Lots of love and stay safe! Keep doodling.
i've also mostly been a silent supporter but the last half of this video really resonated with me. i've been seeing a therapist for anxiety and have only recently discovered i may have major depressive disorder. the scariest thing was the day i went to bed and thought hey, if i didn't wake up that might not be the worst thing. it's an absolutely terrifying mindset to be stuck in and i'm so glad you've found a supportive doctor to help you through this. sending you so much love.
As someone also struggling with this, I can tell you this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! It’s one thing to admit it, and it’s another to fight it and see where it take you; and that’s one of the bravest things to do, ever!! We have all got your back no matter what. Sending you the biggest hug my darling, you’ve got this
Depression is so hard. When you start to come out of it, you begin to realise how you weren’t by yourself at all, it was just the illness putting a veil over your eyes. We all love you here no matter what! You are my personal OG bullet journal UA-camr, and the reason I got started in the first place, and I couldn’t imagine that journey without you and your positive vibes helping me along the way. Please don’t go anywhere, because we certainly won’t ✨
Illness trauma is real, there is a lot of things to face and process. The “death would be easier” thought moment, been there because of illness and it is scary. Being honest with yourself and others is important and therapy has helped me immensely through my own struggles. All the best and all the luck!
I've heard it said, we're only as sick as our secrets, so now you've opened up about it. You truly are on the road to healing. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open that conversation and normalize it enough that people will realize why they need to get support and help. End the stigma.
Depression does sneak in. I got help & now I’m fine & back to myself. I also have uterus issues. Glad you finally found a doctor who took it seriously and was able to help you.
Passive suicidal ideation is tough to go through. I get it, I know some friends of mine who went through the same thing..Fleeting suicidal thoughts are a warning sign. I am glad you are getting help. Depression is something a lot of people go through, you are not the only one. You have a lot of bravery and strength to admit that you are going through depression. We know you can get through this, Amanda. There is always hope for recovery and happiness. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and we know you will come out happy and healthy, on the other side. Proud of you, girl. You got this. 💪🏻
I can relate so much to your situation. I had 3-5yrs where I felt like "my uterus was attacking me". Women's health issues really are not talked about enough. How our hormones maintain the delicate balance in our bodies, how that is tied to our mental health, these things should not be mysterious to us. Please take the time to focus on getting better, lean on your family, therapist. Take every day as it comes. Be gentle with yourself. All us Lil Doodles are happy you exist and support you continuing to do that ❤❤❤ Thanks for sharing. You are not alone.
Talking about period/menstruation normalizes it, and empowers women to advocate for themselves rather than being embarrassed or thinking "I'm weird." Thank you for sharing, I understand it CANNOT be easy.
I had the opposite issue - after high school, mine just stopped. No real answer was ever found, I was on birth control for decades to regulate it. Now, at 47 - it's randomly come back and is fairly regular. No woman is exactly the same, if something seems off, please go get it checked out ❤
last September I also underwent surgery almost similar as yours (myomectomy surgery, English is not my first language so it's my assumption that it's similar). Doctor found 8 centimeters myoma in my uterus. (Myoma = fibroids, non-cancerous tumors). The fact that the size is 8 centimeters make it has to be taken out. Women have so many silent killers so I think it is good that you share your story and raise awareness about this. I'm wishing you full recovery at your own pace. Recovering from surgery is a long journey, but you are definitely strong and you will get through this. Sending love 🤍
by choosing to tell us about your private problems, you actually help us (including me) to feel understood and that‘s such a strong and positive thing. thank you and always remain yourself!
girl you are loved, when your soul is tired, it sometimes tells you lies. I hope society will soon acknowledge that a hurting brain is the same as a hurting body and we will be quicker to accept that our sad thoughts are a symptom that sometimes we just need a little balancing, be it chemical or through therapy or both. keep reaching out for support whenever you need it!
I’ve never commented on one of your videos before (even though I’ve been following for years). You are so brave to share your story and it will help so many others. I am a teacher and one thing my students tell me is that when influencers share their stories, it has a gigantic impact on the lives of others. You telling your own story, with all of the details, validates others too. You got this!
I wish I could hug you. Honestly, physical health can affect your mental health a lot as well. I have endometriosis, and the past few years have consisted of just feeling awful and going through surgeries and doctors appointments, and ultimately a hysterectomy at age 35. (I also had insane iron deficiency anemia and for me, hysterectomy was the only way to fix that) My mental health has been in an insane spiral because of all of it. Anxiety at an all-time high where nothing helps, I just have to ride the anxiety wave until my brain says it's okay to calm down. I'm glad you're getting help, and now that you've had surgery for the polyps maybe your mental will start coming back on an upward swing as well. Sending you lots of love, you're not alone!!
Sharing is caring. Seriously, Amanda, it is brave of you to share. It may also help you overcome the depression. It is an illness just like the flu, or high blood pressure, or the diseases that are too terrible to name. I am honored to have watched your brave discussion about your health issues. I am also here to say that my own depression got really bad in 2016 and I started seeing a psychiatrist because I was having some pretty dark and frightening thoughts. Together we worked through the causes of my situation and I was given a medication that allowed me to feel “normal” again. There is hope for those with depression. Reaching out is the hardest part. Your sharing this message may also help save others from suffering in silence. I’m very proud of you. ❤
So raw. We're so proud of you for reaching out for help and also sharing this on the internet . I hope youre proud of yourself as well. Youre amazing ... We're all here for you ❤
In regards to the death-related thoughts, I absolutely understand what you’re feeling/thinking about. I think the official medical term is “passive su!cidal ideation” where it’s like, not an active thing happening in your brain but rather just like an everyday, fleeting moment. A lot of people tend to mistake it for that term “call of the void” (the official is in French and I don’t know French lol) where you feel a strange pull to things like, standing on a cliff and that sudden urge to jump even if you’re a mentally healthy person. The main thing to remember and tell yourself is that you’re not alone! Its important to recognize when you’re not doing well, but it’s also important to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel these things, you know? There’s such a taboo around mental health and it’s hard to overcome that bias even when it comes to yourself, but you got this! ❤❤
Hi Amanda, I just want to say that before I become severely depressed and get my diagnosis, I was in denial about mental health problems in general. That's because in Greece, my country, the majority of people wouldn't be aware that it is an actual disease. Fortunately, that has changed the past few years. I am very sorry to hear that you struggle, I know from personal experience that it can make someone feel lonely and hopeless without any specific reason. Usually, advice is better from a professional who has more knowledge on the topic, but what helps me see the positive side, is to see depression as a journey to figure out more about myself. We, Humans can be very complex, and some of us might get confused while trying to figure out our purpose. Don't worry, thought it can get tough sometimes, it is also something that makes you stronger and, interestingly, helps you learn surprising stuff about yourself. I'm sending all my love to you and everyone who has a hard time with their mental health. Small tip for the friends and loved ones: all you need to do is listen, be patient, accept the situation and try not to judge. But most importantly, in order to help someone who struggles, your priority MUST be to take care of your own mental health first
I have heavy periods (menorrhagia) and endometriosis. You did an amazing job discussing the impact of heavy periods as well as the low energy, faintness. The hospital appointments and surgeries I've been through have made me less lighthearted. It's had an impact and when I had pneumonia during my lowest blood count I had that thought you mentioned of oh well it would be freeing. It's a scary and sad thought when I reflect on that. Thanks for sharing, there are many women going through both issues you discussed and very universally depression and anxiety are on the rise but many people are scared to reach out. I'm a year late commenting but I saw this at the right time 💛
Amanda ❤ as someone with medical trauma that i didnt even know about for years, just to say i really recommend talking the idea of medical trauma through with a therapist when you feel ready... Medical stuff is no joke, even if its 'not that bad' it's so stressful and scary for our brains to handle. But with the support of a therapist it doesn't have to be insurmountable! I found that my brain had been turning my stressful medical experiences into some really shitty self narratives that i wasn't even aware of, but together we worked out how to be more compassionate and take my experiences seriously. And i dont think about death so much anymore. Sending you so much love and support from across the ocean, im so sorry all that happened to you. you got this and things can only get better ❤
I went through exactly that with my periods. Polips are the story of my life. I have undergone surgery to remove them twice, you HAVE to check yourself at least once a year, sooner if you present symptoms, because they can make a comeback. My doctor told me they’re a mistery, they can come and go, reappear or never come back… and it’s rare to have cancerous ones. My doctor advised me to cut dairy and chicken from my diet, eat them like once a month if I crave them too much and try to have organic ones. So far that has worked for me, I still have kind of abundant periods so I take leafy greens every day because iron supplements kinda ruined my stomach. It’s an ordeal but I’ve learned to accept and adapt, I also share my story with most young women who struggle with their periods, it’s paramount to check yourself constantly, we’re together in this!
I am proud of you! You are strong! You are loved! Being able to recognize that something wasn’t feeling right and taking the action step of seeking out help is the hardest part, but it’s also the part that shows you’re the strongest you’ve ever been. Bring able to admit something is wrong is not easy, so you should take pride in the fact that you sought out help. You putting this on the internet is going to reach so many audiences and is going to help so many others get help. You are amazing, be proud of your journey and be proud of you ♡︎
You are not alone and by you speaking about your diagnosis and struggles you are allowing others to be open and honest with themselves and seek their own help for whatever they are going through.
I can totally relate. I think these menustral issues happen more often than we know. I had huge fibroids and a polyp as well. I had a hysteroscopy and that helped with the heaviness of the bleeding for a minute. My iron level was so low, the nurses said they didn't know how I was walking. I had 3 rounds of iron infusions and after that, I still only made it up to the lowest level considered to be normal. And then it dropped again after a few months. Each iron infusion round consisted of 1 infusion per week for 8 weeks. Once, when I was in the waiting room to have a vaginal ultrasound, there was a woman waiting there with her daughter. When they called her in, they asked her daughter "Do you want to see your baby sister?" I cried. Regarding your depression, I'm glad you have been honest with yourself and are working to help yourself. I really believe that you'll be ok.
thank you for sharing this Amanda, sometimes it's easy for us to think "oh well dying would be easier" and not see a problem but putting it in that context of " if I heard someone I care about say something like that I would be hurt and would want them to get help" that really helps us realize that things don't have to be the way they are, it's ok to seek help and it's validating to hear someone else talk about that experience. sending you much love Amanda thank you for sharing this with us ❤
Amanda, i know you probably won’t see this but i want you to know truly how strong you are not only for going through all of this but also for sharing this with the world. in the last year i’ve gotten a PCOS diagnosis (which has affected my periods since they started and will also most likely affect my fertility in some way) and a hypothyroidism diagnosis, which took three years of constant fatigue and 80 lbs of weight gain to finally get diagnosed. i also have always had a depression diagnosis, but in the last year i also had a suicide scare and was shortly after diagnosed with ADHD. dealing with all of these things has been extremely exhausting and stressful, especially because it’s a combination of mental and physical health issues. i know we don’t have the exact same medical issues but i can relate to the fatigue and stress that you’ve been feeling and i’m so proud of you for surviving through it ❤
Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry ☹️ All of that sounds really hard. Seeing you cry just about made me cry. I was diagnosed with PTSD and a very high ACE score a few years ago. I came home from that appointment and simultaneously laughed and cried in my husband's arms because I just didnt know what to do. I know it can be a lot to process. If we were friends in real life, I'd give you a hug ♥️ I hope your real life friends and family can bring you a bit of comfort and relief. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so glad you're doing this, because it means that you've headed on the way to getting better. I got a depression for the first time in my life when I was about your age and I had not the slightest idea that it was in fact that - a depression. I also thought that this is just how I'd feel for the rest of my life and it was so bad. I'm so so glad that you're getting help. It is true - you will feel better again. ❤ I'm sending you all the hugs and wish you all the best! We're here with you ❤
I know this is an older post but I just have to pop in and say I'm so glad you could talk about this, could get help, that you were honest with yourself when you get asked the hard questions. Laughing in the face of depression is good. Never apologize for that coping mechanism. The honesty got you help. You did it. I hope that meds and psych treatment are helping. I wish I could hug you IRL, but here's a virtual one. You were brave, you were honest, and because of that you got help. Hugs.
Hi amanda💓💓 im Francisca from chile, and i ‘ve been watching your videos since 2017 when i was 17 years, now im 23 and im so happy than you could finally talk about your feelings and just all the things that has been going on in your life💓 Now im graduating from psycology and i really know it takes so much brave to talk about your really deep feelings and througs. I just want to say thank you for your bravery and for staying here. Its okey to not be ok, and its ok to tell the people you are not ok when you need it. Thank you so much for all these years🥺💓 and i really want to you to be healthy and happy, so take all the time you need and just talk about whatever you want and need.
When you're depressed sometimes you can't even tell how bad it is until it's over :( you just totally forget that you could ever feel differently. I was really anxious and depressed during the first year of the pandemic, and after I got better, it was like, OH, this is what the inside of my brain is supposed to feel like! I felt like myself again! I never knew what that meant before-don't you always definitionally feel like yourself?-but it was like it sucked every bit of joy and personality out of me and it didn't /feel like me/. I feel like myself now and even when I sometimes wish I was more confident or less awkward or whatever, I /feel like me/ and it's wonderful
Oh honey. You’re precious and so brave. Depression is awful, but it’s also very treatable and you are certainly not alone. I’ve been through it. No one has to suffer or ‘deserves’ it. It’s verrrry difficult to make the first step to get help, and you did it. ❤ Please take meticulous baby care of yourself, Amanda. I’m a stranger, but I’m proud of you. edit: p.s. I had a surgical procedure on my uterus too. You’re definitely not alone there either!!
Hi Amanda, as an older viewer who has dealt with some of the same issues, first know that you are a valuable person. All problems will pass. Start learning to reframe your thoughts, it’s not easy but it’s doable. You can move beyond and find joy in life again.
it's so brave of you to make this video, i imagine it has been really hard. i've went through some of these things and it scares me a little sometimes, but i cope exactly like you. i even relate to the fact that it's only when i get better that i realize just how bad i was. i've been watching you since 2018 and you've done so much, i love seeing you live. i hope you keep getting better and i hope maybe bangtan will help bringing some joy at times. please take care, i wish only good things to you
You are much braver than I could ever be speaking so openly on such a public forum. I have personally gone through a clinical depression and several physical health scares and am here to tell you there is hope that you can persevere. Sending you much love and keep fighting. Life is a struggle worth fighting for!
Oh, dear Amanda, I’m sending you a big, big hug. I’m not sure if you realize how brave it is to make such a confession, face everything you’ve been through and seek help. You’re a warrior! Be nice to yourself ❤ Lots of love and support ❤
Thank you for normalizing talking about mental health. I share freely with friends and colleagues that I've gone through psychotherapy. Just like you need to get help for your physical symptoms, it's important to get help for your mental health. Just as the pandemic was starting I lost my psychotherapist because my health plan discontinued behavioral services. That was rough. It was difficult to get help during the pandemic because everybody was looking for a therapist. I've gotten some resolution but I'm thinking of changing to another health group because there are other changes I'm not happy with. But this was great to hear. I'm glad you feel freer now. This community is behind you 100%. We love you Amanda. ♥
i don't comment much on your videos despite loving them, but as someone who has struggled with the mental health portion of your discussion, i just wanted to remind you that it does get better and your brain eventually will stop lying to you! and i'm sure you already know all of this, but we are so proud of you for what you have managed to do for yourself, and what you'll continue to do for yourself moving forward. all the best, amanda! sending all my love
girlie i followed you for a long time, you started my bullet journaling passion and cheered me up so much when i was going through a hard time. my family even bought from your stationary shop for my birthday! funnily enough, i too had physical & mental health problems that worsened last yeaer. i was diagnosed with gerd, meaning i couldn't eat almost anything, and i would feel chest pain & heartburn after. then, i felt very alone, and i still do feel like that. it's not resolved, but I'm getting checked up soon for an endoscopy soon. hearing you go through this makes me feel less alone, and validated. thanks for sharing this with us. though this is not the end of our problems, perhaps only the start of healing, i hope we both can go down the path where there is a happy ending waiting for us. you can do it!!! jiayou:D
hi amanda! you’ve been a source of relaxation and happiness for me because of yours videos. your voice calms me down and whenever i watch your content i always feel safe and at home. it pains me to watch this and see you go through all that physical and mental pain. i am super proud of you for getting help and for being so strong in conquering all your battles. i hope that you constantly surround yourself with loved ones and people who make you genuinely happy. we love you so much and we are willing to wait for your content because a few videos is nothing compared to wanting you to have a full and easy recovery. health is always the priority. love you!
You are a strong woman to express yourself as you did, health issues are difficult to deal with especially the kind you have! Sometimes by expressing yourself you will find others with similar issues and you will probably help someone else dealing with issues. Support groups are a wonderful way to have that human contact that we all need! And let someone else read the comments before you do so they can delete them for you before you see them! I hope this positive comment will help you as you have inspired me while bullet journaling!
I struggled with depression soooo much in high school and I distinctly remember thinking "I can't believe I have to feel like this for the rest of my life" and it was so freeing to be able to get help for it and find medications that work for me. I hope things continue to get better for you Amanda
there is so much to takeaway from this video, so don’t say there’s nothing! i love happy endings as much as you do, but the truth is life is always in progress and continuing every moment we’re alive, so as many tough things there are i truly believe just as many good things are waiting, little or big. (even if that’s really cheesy and idealistic!) thank you for sharing your experience amanda!!! i think it’s really important to process struggles as heavy as this by sharing, and for us as watchers it’s just as important because we feel less alone. i wish you the very very best in every step you take forward. ❤❤
I’ve been through something very similar to you. I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but I can assure you that it will get SO much better! I think it’s really important to remember that depression is caused by your body chemicals, hormones, being out of balance, so of course you’re going to feel bad mentally when you’re struggling physically. I find it incredibly helpful to have a therapist, someone that I can tell all of the sad, ugly, scary stuff to that I don’t want to burden my friends and family with. It’s their job to support you and help you learn to grow in your mental health. At this point, I treat any little depressive thoughts as an indicator that I need to pause and take care of myself better. Nothing, no work, family, or friend obligations, will ever be as important taking care of my mental and physical health.
thank you for sharing! ❤ you’re so brave to tackle issues with your body and mind and share it as well! it’s very relatable for me, and I’m so hopeful for you. i’m very grateful that we are living in a time that people are becoming more open about mental health and we can have these conversations. ❤
one of the most validating things i’ve been told is that ur mental illness does not define you - u are still the same person with all the many unique gifts, talents, skills & characteristics that make u who u are ! u just happen to be facing this new obstacle that will require a lot of time & energy to work through & hopefully overcome. but don’t let that false perception of being a burden to others stop u from reaching out, talking abt it, & getting the help u deserve. u are surrounded by people who love n care abt u, and there is always a way. find the light at the end of the tunnel & follow it. trust that things will always get better ♥️ u r stronger than u think ! sending u love
You are so incredibly brave to share what you’ve been through. You are such a beautiful, warm and talented person. Please have patience and compassion for yourself because you absolutely deserve that. Sending lots of love and energy your way!
The "I just automatically accepted that I will always be sad, always be in the dumps, always be at a low point" resonated with me on so many levels. 😥 Thanks for sharing this Amanda, I somehow felt seen and heard through you sharing your experience/s. I've always been one of your silent supporters, but I decided to break the silence today! 🤗 Glad that you are in a place of treatment for your mental health. Also wishing you good health always! Doodles will always be cheering for you in the background. Much love 🥰
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. I went through the same experience when I was in high school, and the doctor said the same thing to me. It's been a crazy ride dealing with this over the years. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Post whatever you want and your loyals will always be here to support you. Sending lotsa love your way! :)
Wow, I went through the exact same thing. I also had to have surgery for polyps, and I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life, but also brushed it off as “not that bad” even when it was. My anxiety was sky high around the time of my polyps too. I remember not being able to sit down during my pre-op appointment because I was so anxious. I also was scared about a family history of cancer and potential fertility issues. Luckily, it was benign and I was able to get pregnant about 6 months later. I hope you have the most positive outcome possible for you. Thank you for sharing, and know that there is no shame in getting help ❤
You are so strong, Amanda. ♥ I'm sorry you were dismissed and discounted by doctors for so long. It feels like every time a woman suffers, the doctors just write her off. It took me over 6 years of being told "it's all in your head", "it's just your period", "you're just being hysterical", etc. before I got an actual diagnosis on what was wrong with me. Please take care of yourself! Healing vibes to you~
I also cope with jokes sometimes. You are real, and it can be a lot to talk about real things, but you will always be real and it is beautiful. I hope you know that your video feels like a friend opening up on one of those deep talks. Although there may be negativity, I hope you also see many of the listeners as a good, understanding and non-judgmental friend because that's the role I felt in myself when listening to you. Thank you for allowing yourself to lift this off your own shoulders, for setting up your boundaries first and then trusting yourself to speak because some of us love you unconditionally just like a friend. A friend is happy not only when a friend is having a great time or after overcoming obstacles but also the time in between - when life happens and we see them feel their feelings: shock, sad, cope, and grow. It takes time and even more to make sense of it, so thank you for even thinking to provide an explanation to everything that has been happening. You are so sweet to always care for your viewers even when you are going through the most. To answer your wondering if anyone would care to listen, I would and a lot of others would too because it does help many people. Thanks for being brave. Just to clarify I love seeing you be happy too, and I am so happy for you that you are doing vlogs and other creative activites for yourself more and more often so some of that happiness still continues every now and again when the cameras are off - it gives me peace to know you admit that~
I love you Amanda 🌸💗. You have my support for every decision you will ever make you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you 🌷🌹. The internet really is a scary place .
Just came across this today and want to say thank you for making this video…I’ve been going through it lately and it means a lot to hear someone with similar experiences.
I’m sending you all of my love and positive thoughts. It’s really hard to open up about these topics. You are paving the way for others to do the same. 💙
I had similar issues from 2019 to 2021, when I eventually had a hysterectomy because my body just did not respond to the typical treatments. As a result of the sustained period of actually truly traumatic health problems I have generalised anxiety and a PTSD response to the smell of blood and certain physical sensations. If anyone is ever struggling with menstruation, please speak to someone… friend, family member, medical professional (although they are often sadly very dismissive ☹️) because no-one should ever have to suffer alone. 💕
Awh amanda, I really wish I could give you a hug rn☹ Whenever you feel bad, just remember that we love you and we will always be here for you! You are so so strong for making this video, it takes much courage to be vulnerable on the internet! Also, take your time to heal, it can be difficult, but try to take one step at a time!!
I’m so glad you have a new doctor. I had a similar situation in my late 50’s. My family doctor dismissed my concerns and sent me home from the hospital and said there was nothing wrong with me. Maybe a diet would help with my “quick weight gain”. He sent me home from the hospital at night, during a snowstorm. Two days later I was so desperate that I called a doctor in a different specialty (GYN instead of family medicine). He brought in a GYN surgeon during that appointment and the surgeon immediately admitted me back into the hospital. He did emergency surgery the next day and found a 16 pound benign tumor laying against my ovaries. (Not a quick weight gain, but a fast growing benign tumor that was causing me to be malnourished, and have low oxygen levels. I was drowning in my own fluids.) The complete surgery saved my life. Although the 16 pound tumor was benign, I had a microscopic sized cancer growing in my uterus. I am 9.5 years cancer-free now. The surgeon said I would have died that week if I had stayed home and not actively sought more help. Please keep a close eye on your body and don’t hesitate to yell if your menstrual problems return/continue. Also, depression is a health abnormality just like diabetes is. You are not crazy and there is amazing help out there. I love that your current doctor is receptive to your issues and helping you. But if you don’t see your depression improving continuously, you might need to talk with a psychiatrist. I have had a psychiatrist for 4 years now. At first I saw him once a month. Now, we are out to 4 times a year. He has been invaluable in helping deal with issues that started in childhood. Be well. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are not alone! Hugs.
My dear Amanda, I want to start this comment by saying I feel so much empathy for you. ❤ I also suffer from depression, anxiety and got diagnosed with hypothyroidism just a few years ago. I am so, so proud of you for sharing your journey with us, both physical and mental. It is totally okay to be struggling and not have a resolution at hand. Most of the time there really isn't one and that's also totally okay. You don't owe us anything. I honestly feel so honored to be part of the audience who gets to hear about your life situation and feelings, I hope you know that. You are not alone in this, I promise. You will feel better again, I can also promise you that. Take care and I'll see you again when you stream ❤
Chronic disease can be a catalyst for depression. Thank you for your honesty. You are much loved. Get support from family, close friends and good professionals out there. Take care of yourself. Take time off when you need it.
Hey amanda, I CANNOT STOP SAYING THIS but it’s really admirable that you are so brave to be honest with everyone, that’s something I really admire about you! Keep on going strong and little doodles will really love you and will support you! Take your time with doing things, do what you are more comfortable with. Health definitely comes first so take care of yourself. Sending lots and lots of love for you!! It’ll all be alright, you will do amazing!! Don’t be afraid that people don’t care, we all care about you and wish the best for you!! YOU GO GIRLL!! ❤❤
This video will help someone else that is going though the same thing. You did the right thing for yours self by seeing your doctor. Now the help will come and keep telling others about what you are going though now.
Amanda, I have been following you since 2017 and I have always loved your work and videos. I never knew that being such a bubbly person you are, you were internally going through so much. I hope you are fine now and recovering from all your ailments. You are a very strong person to share all these in a video. As someone who is suffering from PCOS, I understand how you've felt about your menstruation issue maybe not in so much depth but a little bit. Since you are elder to me, I cannot really advice you but one thing that I am sure is that your family, friends and we lil doodles are always there for you, to support you and cheer you up. Take care and we all love you ♥️🌸
❤I don’t comment often but want to say thank you for this! And send a big as hug!!!I wish this kind of sharing existed when i was younger, especially as someone who never opened up about my problems with sadnes, loneliness’s and constant anxiety, Thinking this is just how i am. I just always thought I was different…. Finally went to a psychologist in my late 20is but it took several more years and a friends su***, before i finally went to a psychiatrist and actually got a diagnosis, it was freeing. And after finally starting with meds, i understood that there was another way to feel… and I finally understood what “normal” was…. Lol … have to laugh cause I didn’t think it was posible… so know i tell anyone who asks, I’m open about it and if people can’t deal that’s on them. Share, care and let people know there is hope so they know they can share too!
Oh, Amanda, I'm sending you lots of love. I just recently had surgery for Endometriosis so I can only imagine what you went through. Depression is such a minefield, it's a lair. I hope you get the help you need with all your health issues.
the way you talk about your mental health, how you not feel super sad or suicidal but death would be freeing is exactly how I felt last year, you put it into words so amazingly. thanks for sharing this Amanda ❤ really thank you thank you thank you
So many silent viewers of yours are commenting now, I'm also one of them. I've been watching your videos for the last 6 years but never commented anything. The thing I wanted to say is that as I'm a muslim, whenever I'm down or depressed a bit, I always have hope in God that He's there for me and everything's gonna be fine and that I have a purpose in life that is to worship one true God. I really want you to search about the truth of life. I'm just suggesting you to research on Islam a little and I love you a lot that's why I care for your this life and afterlife. If you want you can see on UA-cam there are many videos of people reverting and how they find peace by connecting to the real God. I hope it works the same for you too. ❤
i personally feel that mental and physical health and deeply tied to each other, and it can be such a vicious cycle! i can really relate to feeling super hesitant to talk to friends and family about mental health, and like a lot of other commenters here, you are not alone! i hope that undergoing treatment begins to alleviate some of the symptoms you're feeling for both your mental and physical health. it's not easy being in your position as a content creator, and you're doing what you can to start that healing journey. we believe in you and will always be here to support you amanda!
I can complete understand. Cancer runs in my family as well and I had that same surgery March 2022. I have been in menopause for 4 years and then all of a sudden the "flow" came which is a sign of cancer according to my GYN so they removed them ASAP and thank God pathology report benign. . . YAY! It's important that we take care of ourselves and remember ME TIME! Praying for you young lady. Be Blessed.
You are so brave, Amanda! Watching you all these years and you never showed us anything aside from your positive contents. Know that you are loved by many and I pray for your total healing!
please keep this comment section positive ❤ love u guys so much
Love u ❤❤ we are here to support ❤
I think it was very brave of you to post it and shows how strong you are. Praying for your recovery and sending you good vibes always ❤
im so sorry people are dumb enough to be rude as hell....
Sending lots of love and prayers for you. ❤❤❤.
As someone who has chronic pelvic pain as well as mental health diagnoses, I appreciate your openness on this video. It is really hard to deal with pain and disfunction when it is in your reproductive system... For me, I know I deal with a lot of shame, because I feel like I shouldn't have problems in that area. I feel like it should just work properly! But that is not my reality, and it is really hard to accept that even after more than a decade of issues. It definitely took a toll on my mental health, and it can be hard to give myself compassion and understanding when I get really low and am trapped in a pain cycle. Please know that you are not alone, and that talking about this subject helps the rest of us who are suffering feel less alone too. None of us are perfect, pain and mental health is a difficult and messy journey. You can make it to more better days than bad days, but don't forget to let yourself heal with grace.
Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been, Amanda!!!!!! As someone with a platform, it’s so helpful for you to talk about your experience because it reminds your viewers that they are not alone in their struggles either. Hang in there, we love you and we want you to be happy, healthy, and safe!
"Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been" absolutely, facing a reality, thats a massive positive.
That's so true. Talking about it hopefully makes you free and eventually get you to a place where you are healed. Rooting for you and others suffering from depression
as someone who's struggled with chronic depression and female reproductive issues for over a decade i really resonated with you telling your story and struggles. it's such a scary thing to do especially when our jobs are centred around creating a safe happy space for others online. Just wanted to say that you're a badass and such a strong person for not only going through this with your head held high but for also sharing this with everyone.
everything will be okay, just keep reminding yourself of that fact. i can tell you from experience that there is no feeling better than when you get to the other side of that tunnel.
stay strong Amanda, always here if you need a chat 💕
That’s super nice 😊
Omg my heart💖✨️ I'm so happy to see you on here supporting our queen. I love you even more now. 💓
As a Doctor working in OBGYN, I commend you on how maturely and concisely you spoke about such a difficult period for you. You definitely will bring greater awareness to this, just by sharing your experience and hopefully enlighten healthcare professionals who fail to advocate for both Women’s health and Mental health, especially amongst the youth. Thank you for this, and always remember to listen to your body - you have been with it longer than any healthcare professional has.
AMEN
So true!! As an OB/GYN nurse, i absolutely concur, Doctor!
Depression creeps up on people. It’s silent but deadly. Never ignore the signs and don’t be afraid to ask help. You’re not alone. And you got this, Amanda! 💪🏽
That is very true.
Very true I feel honoured to be one of her little doodles and someone she trusts not to bottle up her emotions but share and lift off a weight. That takes courage
It's amazing to see the majority of the comments being positive as I scroll down, this feels so nice knowing that this community definitely gives space to nurture
I’ve been a silent supporter/viewer for yearsssss now but I wanted to comment today to let you know you are so loved and so supported. It takes a lot of bravery to be open and vulnerable like this and although it is hard, I appreciate you so much for being honest about things like this. I think it can be so easy for people to get caught up in comparisons or even just the illusion of picture perfect lives on social media, from influencers and non influencers alike. So thank you for normalizing this topic and bringing awareness to it and letting your viewers know NO ONE has a “picture perfect” life. I am wishing you nothing but the best during this time. Be gracious with yourself, show yourself love and patience. We are ALL rooting for you. Sending you so much love
this is the best comment ever, i wish i were so eloquent. my thoughts and feelings are the same for Amanda so glad you chose to speak up this time Emily.
This comment is exactly what I wanted to say. 🫶
Same here , I just subscribe to u
I couldn't relate to a comment more, we love and support you @amandaRachLee
I’m so sorry you have been navigating all of that. I am in the middle of the same thing.😭 I developed an autoimmune disorder from everything and it’s been so hard to walk through. I’m so grateful you shared your story.
i had my period for 6 months in 2020, went to the hospital twice and had 2 surgeries for the same reason!! i also had a way thicker lining than normal in addition to the polyps. i dealt with this for a year before it was resolved fully. if these things grow outside of your uterus it is considered cancerous and they will have to remove ur uterus completely, so if you experience any symptoms that amanda mentioned PLS get checked out asap!!
Thank you for sharing! I have some family, since young adults and even a young adult since young, that experience similar extreme menstruation. And it often pained me, because since they're not married, there's always this either taboo or unnecessary justifications for not going to a gynae and especially not any sort of internal exam. Women's reproductive health is truly something I'm sure all over the world we need to be more open about speaking about. Like an aunt was going through a medical difficulty and didn't want anyone to know. But her daughter started feeling desperate because of the circumstances, and guess what, just sharing it in a safe space, appropriate advice from someone who had the exact issues ended up helping her immensely.
Oh, Amanda 😔 I’m so sorry you’ve been facing these health issues, both physical and mental, for so long. I’m so glad you’re finally in a place of treatment and have hope on the horizon that things will get better. Depression is so hard to live with and seeing all you continue to accomplish despite your brain working against you is something to be so so proud of ❤ please be kind to yourself, because you really do deserve that self compassion. I’m always a text message away if you want to talk through some of that messy hard sad stuff. Sending you the biggest hug 🫂
Hemoglobin is the molecule inside the red blood cells that carries oxygen to the cells of your body, a vital step for most metabolism pathways. It's a very important little buddy!
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that experience, Amanda. I can't imagine how hard it must have been. You've got our support and love
Sending hugs. You have a lot on you , thank you for sharing your story. I really needed to hear this tonight. Thank you.
Hi Amanda. FWIW from my fifty-year-old perspective and as a fan, I think you are handling all of this with grace and strength. And generosity because so many of us can relate to what you're talking about and hearing someone with your platform share your own experiences helps us all to feel less alone. So thank you and bless you! You got this!
Amanda, you don't know how much this video speaks so much to me. I've also experienced the same thing last year with all the heavy bleeding, being low in iron, feeling so down and all that. I was really scared with the results as well and what will happen with the future. Thankfully, my doctor said it was nothing serious. But still, I know how hard it is to go through all of these things happening in our physical and mental health. I hope you know that you are not alone and that just by existing in this platform, you're already helping a lot of us out here to keep pushing and fighting. You are amazing and you are needed in this world. Sending you lots of love from Japan! ❤
I get the fleeting thoughts of death. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to harm myself but it’s exactly what you said - “it would be easier if I was dead.” There’s moments of highs and lows. Be gentle with yourself. Take care and lean on those you can count on. You’re so loved.
You can post anything. No matter what we will all love you
Exactly! We will always support you, so I hope you can have this safe space you’ve had for over 10 years 💗🙏🏻. Sending love ❤️
THANKS FOR SHARING WITH US! The last friday I had hospital visit and they say me that I didn't have ovarian cancer again. It was so relieve... I'm diagnosticated with Fibromyalgia, Depression (yeah, I know this fleeting thoughts but I tried too...), Anxiety, Talasemia (genetic anemia),... The life is hard, but it's a gift. Enjoy it! Always search for good professional help (I found a lot of horrible doctors and wrong diagnosis) and real good people (toxic people out!). Really, thanks for sharing with us, you're a wonderful person. Please, never forget that.
It takes a lot from someone to be so vulnerable on camera. I just hope you’re feeling better and continue to do so. We’re rooting for you as Lil Doodles.
8:56 omg! in the end of 2019, because my iron was so low, i had to get 5 weeks of iron injections. like 1 per week. i’ve never heard of anyone getting this before. thanks so much for talking about it..🥺
*edit* 14:47 amanda. this video was definitely meant for me.. i’ve been back and forth with the hospital trying to get an ultrasound for my ridiculously heavy periods. i thought i was the only one on the earth who bl*eds an insane amount. i actually have to wear adult diapers and i get my periods every 2 and a half to 3 weeks. i could go on and on about the weird symptoms that i get such as shortness of breath and like chest pains but i’ll spare you.
*amanda* you have no idea how much this video means to me. i’m gonna show part of this to my mom because she’s been trying to figure what’s wrong with me too and doing whatever she can to take care of me.. thanks soooo much… i wish i could come to canada just to hug you.😢😢
-jamie
So many women's issues are overlooked. Lots of women have fx endometriosis but doctors never check them out properly and just accept the pain / problems. I hope you find the cause and preventive solutions like maybe microbiom or other. God bless ❤️
ua-cam.com/video/coxBNJxBUeo/v-deo.html 😂 Sorry to meddle! Here is a video about the microbiom being connected to polyps / pcos / hormonal imbalance and the microbiom is definitely connected to our mood. So I was wondering what changed when your periods first became so extreme. Did you have to take lots of antibiotics fx...
I commend you for your courage in sharing your personal struggles with medical health and mental health. You have helped many by bringing awareness to these very important issues. Praying for you Amanda.
The ability for you to come out and speak about this - all of this - can, and most likely will save and help other people. It’s refreshing to know that we are all human, and we all have issues, as different and diverse as they are. I mean, I’m 40 years old, watching you do journaling. I am married, I have a daughter and 3 dogs. BUT…YOU helped me get back into my artistic talent, YOU are a breath of fresh air in my life of chaos. I know that many of us will support you, pray for you, and be patient with you on this journey. Thank you for this video, and I do hope this relieves your fears as much as our concerns. And Thank You for everything you do!!!! (oh, and you need a puppy!)
I'm super late on commenting but I 100% agree with you about having insanely low iron. As someone who has really low iron you need a lot more sleep than the regular person, you're always tired, and it takes a lot of your energy to do stuff in the middle of the day. I'm still in high school but since I have low iron, I feel like I'm in my 30s sometimes since I get exhausted so easily. I do all of these extra curriculars, get community service hours, dance, and etc I'm honestly surprised that I'm still doing pretty well. But thank you for sharing this with us! I deeply appreciate you being vulnerable and real with us. Lots of love and stay safe! Keep doodling.
i've also mostly been a silent supporter but the last half of this video really resonated with me. i've been seeing a therapist for anxiety and have only recently discovered i may have major depressive disorder. the scariest thing was the day i went to bed and thought hey, if i didn't wake up that might not be the worst thing. it's an absolutely terrifying mindset to be stuck in and i'm so glad you've found a supportive doctor to help you through this. sending you so much love.
As someone also struggling with this, I can tell you this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! It’s one thing to admit it, and it’s another to fight it and see where it take you; and that’s one of the bravest things to do, ever!! We have all got your back no matter what. Sending you the biggest hug my darling, you’ve got this
Depression is so hard. When you start to come out of it, you begin to realise how you weren’t by yourself at all, it was just the illness putting a veil over your eyes.
We all love you here no matter what! You are my personal OG bullet journal UA-camr, and the reason I got started in the first place, and I couldn’t imagine that journey without you and your positive vibes helping me along the way. Please don’t go anywhere, because we certainly won’t ✨
Illness trauma is real, there is a lot of things to face and process. The “death would be easier” thought moment, been there because of illness and it is scary. Being honest with yourself and others is important and therapy has helped me immensely through my own struggles.
All the best and all the luck!
I've heard it said, we're only as sick as our secrets, so now you've opened up about it. You truly are on the road to healing. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open that conversation and normalize it enough that people will realize why they need to get support and help. End the stigma.
Depression does sneak in. I got help & now I’m fine & back to myself. I also have uterus issues. Glad you finally found a doctor who took it seriously and was able to help you.
Passive suicidal ideation is tough to go through. I get it, I know some friends of mine who went through the same thing..Fleeting suicidal thoughts are a warning sign. I am glad you are getting help. Depression is something a lot of people go through, you are not the only one. You have a lot of bravery and strength to admit that you are going through depression. We know you can get through this, Amanda. There is always hope for recovery and happiness. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and we know you will come out happy and healthy, on the other side. Proud of you, girl. You got this. 💪🏻
I can relate so much to your situation. I had 3-5yrs where I felt like "my uterus was attacking me". Women's health issues really are not talked about enough. How our hormones maintain the delicate balance in our bodies, how that is tied to our mental health, these things should not be mysterious to us. Please take the time to focus on getting better, lean on your family, therapist. Take every day as it comes. Be gentle with yourself. All us Lil Doodles are happy you exist and support you continuing to do that ❤❤❤ Thanks for sharing. You are not alone.
Talking about period/menstruation normalizes it, and empowers women to advocate for themselves rather than being embarrassed or thinking "I'm weird." Thank you for sharing, I understand it CANNOT be easy.
I had the opposite issue - after high school, mine just stopped. No real answer was ever found, I was on birth control for decades to regulate it. Now, at 47 - it's randomly come back and is fairly regular. No woman is exactly the same, if something seems off, please go get it checked out ❤
last September I also underwent surgery almost similar as yours (myomectomy surgery, English is not my first language so it's my assumption that it's similar). Doctor found 8 centimeters myoma in my uterus. (Myoma = fibroids, non-cancerous tumors). The fact that the size is 8 centimeters make it has to be taken out.
Women have so many silent killers so I think it is good that you share your story and raise awareness about this. I'm wishing you full recovery at your own pace. Recovering from surgery is a long journey, but you are definitely strong and you will get through this. Sending love 🤍
by choosing to tell us about your private problems, you actually help us (including me) to feel understood and that‘s such a strong and positive thing. thank you and always remain yourself!
girl you are loved,
when your soul is tired, it sometimes tells you lies. I hope society will soon acknowledge that a hurting brain is the same as a hurting body and we will be quicker to accept that our sad thoughts are a symptom that sometimes we just need a little balancing, be it chemical or through therapy or both.
keep reaching out for support whenever you need it!
I’ve never commented on one of your videos before (even though I’ve been following for years). You are so brave to share your story and it will help so many others. I am a teacher and one thing my students tell me is that when influencers share their stories, it has a gigantic impact on the lives of others. You telling your own story, with all of the details, validates others too. You got this!
Yes! Well put. I second your comment, wonderful teacher ❤
I wish I could hug you. Honestly, physical health can affect your mental health a lot as well. I have endometriosis, and the past few years have consisted of just feeling awful and going through surgeries and doctors appointments, and ultimately a hysterectomy at age 35. (I also had insane iron deficiency anemia and for me, hysterectomy was the only way to fix that) My mental health has been in an insane spiral because of all of it. Anxiety at an all-time high where nothing helps, I just have to ride the anxiety wave until my brain says it's okay to calm down. I'm glad you're getting help, and now that you've had surgery for the polyps maybe your mental will start coming back on an upward swing as well. Sending you lots of love, you're not alone!!
You won’t be able to count the amount of people you have helped by sharing. Thank you for your honesty and take care. ❤
Sharing is caring. Seriously, Amanda, it is brave of you to share. It may also help you overcome the depression. It is an illness just like the flu, or high blood pressure, or the diseases that are too terrible to name. I am honored to have watched your brave discussion about your health issues. I am also here to say that my own depression got really bad in 2016 and I started seeing a psychiatrist because I was having some pretty dark and frightening thoughts. Together we worked through the causes of my situation and I was given a medication that allowed me to feel “normal” again. There is hope for those with depression. Reaching out is the hardest part. Your sharing this message may also help save others from suffering in silence. I’m very proud of you. ❤
So raw. We're so proud of you for reaching out for help and also sharing this on the internet . I hope youre proud of yourself as well. Youre amazing ... We're all here for you ❤
In regards to the death-related thoughts, I absolutely understand what you’re feeling/thinking about. I think the official medical term is “passive su!cidal ideation” where it’s like, not an active thing happening in your brain but rather just like an everyday, fleeting moment. A lot of people tend to mistake it for that term “call of the void” (the official is in French and I don’t know French lol) where you feel a strange pull to things like, standing on a cliff and that sudden urge to jump even if you’re a mentally healthy person. The main thing to remember and tell yourself is that you’re not alone! Its important to recognize when you’re not doing well, but it’s also important to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel these things, you know? There’s such a taboo around mental health and it’s hard to overcome that bias even when it comes to yourself, but you got this! ❤❤
Hi Amanda, I just want to say that before I become severely depressed and get my diagnosis, I was in denial about mental health problems in general. That's because in Greece, my country, the majority of people wouldn't be aware that it is an actual disease. Fortunately, that has changed the past few years. I am very sorry to hear that you struggle, I know from personal experience that it can make someone feel lonely and hopeless without any specific reason. Usually, advice is better from a professional who has more knowledge on the topic, but what helps me see the positive side, is to see depression as a journey to figure out more about myself. We, Humans can be very complex, and some of us might get confused while trying to figure out our purpose. Don't worry, thought it can get tough sometimes, it is also something that makes you stronger and, interestingly, helps you learn surprising stuff about yourself. I'm sending all my love to you and everyone who has a hard time with their mental health. Small tip for the friends and loved ones: all you need to do is listen, be patient, accept the situation and try not to judge. But most importantly, in order to help someone who struggles, your priority MUST be to take care of your own mental health first
I have heavy periods (menorrhagia) and endometriosis. You did an amazing job discussing the impact of heavy periods as well as the low energy, faintness.
The hospital appointments and surgeries I've been through have made me less lighthearted. It's had an impact and when I had pneumonia during my lowest blood count I had that thought you mentioned of oh well it would be freeing. It's a scary and sad thought when I reflect on that. Thanks for sharing, there are many women going through both issues you discussed and very universally depression and anxiety are on the rise but many people are scared to reach out. I'm a year late commenting but I saw this at the right time 💛
Amanda ❤ as someone with medical trauma that i didnt even know about for years, just to say i really recommend talking the idea of medical trauma through with a therapist when you feel ready... Medical stuff is no joke, even if its 'not that bad' it's so stressful and scary for our brains to handle. But with the support of a therapist it doesn't have to be insurmountable! I found that my brain had been turning my stressful medical experiences into some really shitty self narratives that i wasn't even aware of, but together we worked out how to be more compassionate and take my experiences seriously. And i dont think about death so much anymore. Sending you so much love and support from across the ocean, im so sorry all that happened to you. you got this and things can only get better ❤
I went through exactly that with my periods. Polips are the story of my life. I have undergone surgery to remove them twice, you HAVE to check yourself at least once a year, sooner if you present symptoms, because they can make a comeback. My doctor told me they’re a mistery, they can come and go, reappear or never come back… and it’s rare to have cancerous ones. My doctor advised me to cut dairy and chicken from my diet, eat them like once a month if I crave them too much and try to have organic ones. So far that has worked for me, I still have kind of abundant periods so I take leafy greens every day because iron supplements kinda ruined my stomach. It’s an ordeal but I’ve learned to accept and adapt, I also share my story with most young women who struggle with their periods, it’s paramount to check yourself constantly, we’re together in this!
I am proud of you! You are strong! You are loved! Being able to recognize that something wasn’t feeling right and taking the action step of seeking out help is the hardest part, but it’s also the part that shows you’re the strongest you’ve ever been. Bring able to admit something is wrong is not easy, so you should take pride in the fact that you sought out help. You putting this on the internet is going to reach so many audiences and is going to help so many others get help. You are amazing, be proud of your journey and be proud of you ♡︎
You are not alone and by you speaking about your diagnosis and struggles you are allowing others to be open and honest with themselves and seek their own help for whatever they are going through.
I can totally relate. I think these menustral issues happen more often than we know. I had huge fibroids and a polyp as well. I had a hysteroscopy and that helped with the heaviness of the bleeding for a minute. My iron level was so low, the nurses said they didn't know how I was walking. I had 3 rounds of iron infusions and after that, I still only made it up to the lowest level considered to be normal. And then it dropped again after a few months. Each iron infusion round consisted of 1 infusion per week for 8 weeks. Once, when I was in the waiting room to have a vaginal ultrasound, there was a woman waiting there with her daughter. When they called her in, they asked her daughter "Do you want to see your baby sister?" I cried. Regarding your depression, I'm glad you have been honest with yourself and are working to help yourself. I really believe that you'll be ok.
thank you for sharing this Amanda, sometimes it's easy for us to think "oh well dying would be easier" and not see a problem but putting it in that context of " if I heard someone I care about say something like that I would be hurt and would want them to get help" that really helps us realize that things don't have to be the way they are, it's ok to seek help and it's validating to hear someone else talk about that experience. sending you much love Amanda thank you for sharing this with us ❤
Amanda, i know you probably won’t see this but i want you to know truly how strong you are not only for going through all of this but also for sharing this with the world. in the last year i’ve gotten a PCOS diagnosis (which has affected my periods since they started and will also most likely affect my fertility in some way) and a hypothyroidism diagnosis, which took three years of constant fatigue and 80 lbs of weight gain to finally get diagnosed. i also have always had a depression diagnosis, but in the last year i also had a suicide scare and was shortly after diagnosed with ADHD. dealing with all of these things has been extremely exhausting and stressful, especially because it’s a combination of mental and physical health issues. i know we don’t have the exact same medical issues but i can relate to the fatigue and stress that you’ve been feeling and i’m so proud of you for surviving through it ❤
Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry ☹️ All of that sounds really hard. Seeing you cry just about made me cry.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and a very high ACE score a few years ago. I came home from that appointment and simultaneously laughed and cried in my husband's arms because I just didnt know what to do. I know it can be a lot to process.
If we were friends in real life, I'd give you a hug ♥️ I hope your real life friends and family can bring you a bit of comfort and relief. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so glad you're doing this, because it means that you've headed on the way to getting better. I got a depression for the first time in my life when I was about your age and I had not the slightest idea that it was in fact that - a depression. I also thought that this is just how I'd feel for the rest of my life and it was so bad. I'm so so glad that you're getting help. It is true - you will feel better again. ❤ I'm sending you all the hugs and wish you all the best! We're here with you ❤
I know this is an older post but I just have to pop in and say I'm so glad you could talk about this, could get help, that you were honest with yourself when you get asked the hard questions.
Laughing in the face of depression is good. Never apologize for that coping mechanism.
The honesty got you help. You did it. I hope that meds and psych treatment are helping.
I wish I could hug you IRL, but here's a virtual one. You were brave, you were honest, and because of that you got help. Hugs.
Hi amanda💓💓 im Francisca from chile, and i ‘ve been watching your videos since 2017 when i was 17 years, now im 23 and im so happy than you could finally talk about your feelings and just all the things that has been going on in your life💓 Now im graduating from psycology and i really know it takes so much brave to talk about your really deep feelings and througs. I just want to say thank you for your bravery and for staying here. Its okey to not be ok, and its ok to tell the people you are not ok when you need it. Thank you so much for all these years🥺💓 and i really want to you to be healthy and happy, so take all the time you need and just talk about whatever you want and need.
When you're depressed sometimes you can't even tell how bad it is until it's over :( you just totally forget that you could ever feel differently. I was really anxious and depressed during the first year of the pandemic, and after I got better, it was like, OH, this is what the inside of my brain is supposed to feel like! I felt like myself again! I never knew what that meant before-don't you always definitionally feel like yourself?-but it was like it sucked every bit of joy and personality out of me and it didn't /feel like me/. I feel like myself now and even when I sometimes wish I was more confident or less awkward or whatever, I /feel like me/ and it's wonderful
Oh honey. You’re precious and so brave. Depression is awful, but it’s also very treatable and you are certainly not alone. I’ve been through it. No one has to suffer or ‘deserves’ it. It’s verrrry difficult to make the first step to get help, and you did it. ❤ Please take meticulous baby care of yourself, Amanda. I’m a stranger, but I’m proud of you. edit: p.s. I had a surgical procedure on my uterus too. You’re definitely not alone there either!!
Hi Amanda, as an older viewer who has dealt with some of the same issues, first know that you are a valuable person. All problems will pass. Start learning to reframe your thoughts, it’s not easy but it’s doable. You can move beyond and find joy in life again.
it's so brave of you to make this video, i imagine it has been really hard. i've went through some of these things and it scares me a little sometimes, but i cope exactly like you. i even relate to the fact that it's only when i get better that i realize just how bad i was. i've been watching you since 2018 and you've done so much, i love seeing you live. i hope you keep getting better and i hope maybe bangtan will help bringing some joy at times. please take care, i wish only good things to you
You are much braver than I could ever be speaking so openly on such a public forum. I have personally gone through a clinical depression and several physical health scares and am here to tell you there is hope that you can persevere. Sending you much love and keep fighting. Life is a struggle worth fighting for!
Oh, dear Amanda, I’m sending you a big, big hug. I’m not sure if you realize how brave it is to make such a confession, face everything you’ve been through and seek help. You’re a warrior! Be nice to yourself ❤ Lots of love and support ❤
Thank you for normalizing talking about mental health. I share freely with friends and colleagues that I've gone through psychotherapy. Just like you need to get help for your physical symptoms, it's important to get help for your mental health. Just as the pandemic was starting I lost my psychotherapist because my health plan discontinued behavioral services. That was rough. It was difficult to get help during the pandemic because everybody was looking for a therapist. I've gotten some resolution but I'm thinking of changing to another health group because there are other changes I'm not happy with. But this was great to hear. I'm glad you feel freer now. This community is behind you 100%. We love you Amanda. ♥
i don't comment much on your videos despite loving them, but as someone who has struggled with the mental health portion of your discussion, i just wanted to remind you that it does get better and your brain eventually will stop lying to you! and i'm sure you already know all of this, but we are so proud of you for what you have managed to do for yourself, and what you'll continue to do for yourself moving forward. all the best, amanda! sending all my love
Having a ''positive'' space on the internet does not mean toxic positivity of nothing is ever wrong
girlie i followed you for a long time, you started my bullet journaling passion and cheered me up so much when i was going through a hard time. my family even bought from your stationary shop for my birthday! funnily enough, i too had physical & mental health problems that worsened last yeaer. i was diagnosed with gerd, meaning i couldn't eat almost anything, and i would feel chest pain & heartburn after. then, i felt very alone, and i still do feel like that. it's not resolved, but I'm getting checked up soon for an endoscopy soon. hearing you go through this makes me feel less alone, and validated. thanks for sharing this with us. though this is not the end of our problems, perhaps only the start of healing, i hope we both can go down the path where there is a happy ending waiting for us. you can do it!!! jiayou:D
hi amanda! you’ve been a source of relaxation and happiness for me because of yours videos. your voice calms me down and whenever i watch your content i always feel safe and at home. it pains me to watch this and see you go through all that physical and mental pain. i am super proud of you for getting help and for being so strong in conquering all your battles. i hope that you constantly surround yourself with loved ones and people who make you genuinely happy. we love you so much and we are willing to wait for your content because a few videos is nothing compared to wanting you to have a full and easy recovery. health is always the priority. love you!
i hate the feeling of being diagnosed and then realizing im acually ill. But Amanda i've been watching ur vids for a long time we love u so much
You are a strong woman to express yourself as you did, health issues are difficult to deal with especially the kind you have! Sometimes by expressing yourself you will find others with similar issues and you will probably help someone else dealing with issues. Support groups are a wonderful way to have that human contact that we all need! And let someone else read the comments before you do so they can delete them for you before you see them! I hope this positive comment will help you as you have inspired me while bullet journaling!
I struggled with depression soooo much in high school and I distinctly remember thinking "I can't believe I have to feel like this for the rest of my life" and it was so freeing to be able to get help for it and find medications that work for me. I hope things continue to get better for you Amanda
there is so much to takeaway from this video, so don’t say there’s nothing! i love happy endings as much as you do, but the truth is life is always in progress and continuing every moment we’re alive, so as many tough things there are i truly believe just as many good things are waiting, little or big. (even if that’s really cheesy and idealistic!) thank you for sharing your experience amanda!!! i think it’s really important to process struggles as heavy as this by sharing, and for us as watchers it’s just as important because we feel less alone. i wish you the very very best in every step you take forward. ❤❤
I’ve been through something very similar to you. I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but I can assure you that it will get SO much better! I think it’s really important to remember that depression is caused by your body chemicals, hormones, being out of balance, so of course you’re going to feel bad mentally when you’re struggling physically. I find it incredibly helpful to have a therapist, someone that I can tell all of the sad, ugly, scary stuff to that I don’t want to burden my friends and family with. It’s their job to support you and help you learn to grow in your mental health. At this point, I treat any little depressive thoughts as an indicator that I need to pause and take care of myself better. Nothing, no work, family, or friend obligations, will ever be as important taking care of my mental and physical health.
thank you for sharing! ❤ you’re so brave to tackle issues with your body and mind and share it as well! it’s very relatable for me, and I’m so hopeful for you. i’m very grateful that we are living in a time that people are becoming more open about mental health and we can have these conversations. ❤
one of the most validating things i’ve been told is that ur mental illness does not define you - u are still the same person with all the many unique gifts, talents, skills & characteristics that make u who u are ! u just happen to be facing this new obstacle that will require a lot of time & energy to work through & hopefully overcome. but don’t let that false perception of being a burden to others stop u from reaching out, talking abt it, & getting the help u deserve. u are surrounded by people who love n care abt u, and there is always a way. find the light at the end of the tunnel & follow it. trust that things will always get better ♥️ u r stronger than u think ! sending u love
You are so incredibly brave to share what you’ve been through. You are such a beautiful, warm and talented person. Please have patience and compassion for yourself because you absolutely deserve that. Sending lots of love and energy your way!
The "I just automatically accepted that I will always be sad, always be in the dumps, always be at a low point" resonated with me on so many levels. 😥
Thanks for sharing this Amanda, I somehow felt seen and heard through you sharing your experience/s. I've always been one of your silent supporters, but I decided to break the silence today! 🤗
Glad that you are in a place of treatment for your mental health. Also wishing you good health always! Doodles will always be cheering for you in the background. Much love 🥰
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. I went through the same experience when I was in high school, and the doctor said the same thing to me. It's been a crazy ride dealing with this over the years. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Post whatever you want and your loyals will always be here to support you. Sending lotsa love your way! :)
Wow, I went through the exact same thing. I also had to have surgery for polyps, and I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life, but also brushed it off as “not that bad” even when it was. My anxiety was sky high around the time of my polyps too. I remember not being able to sit down during my pre-op appointment because I was so anxious. I also was scared about a family history of cancer and potential fertility issues. Luckily, it was benign and I was able to get pregnant about 6 months later. I hope you have the most positive outcome possible for you. Thank you for sharing, and know that there is no shame in getting help ❤
You are so strong, Amanda. ♥ I'm sorry you were dismissed and discounted by doctors for so long. It feels like every time a woman suffers, the doctors just write her off. It took me over 6 years of being told "it's all in your head", "it's just your period", "you're just being hysterical", etc. before I got an actual diagnosis on what was wrong with me.
Please take care of yourself! Healing vibes to you~
I also cope with jokes sometimes. You are real, and it can be a lot to talk about real things, but you will always be real and it is beautiful. I hope you know that your video feels like a friend opening up on one of those deep talks. Although there may be negativity, I hope you also see many of the listeners as a good, understanding and non-judgmental friend because that's the role I felt in myself when listening to you. Thank you for allowing yourself to lift this off your own shoulders, for setting up your boundaries first and then trusting yourself to speak because some of us love you unconditionally just like a friend. A friend is happy not only when a friend is having a great time or after overcoming obstacles but also the time in between - when life happens and we see them feel their feelings: shock, sad, cope, and grow. It takes time and even more to make sense of it, so thank you for even thinking to provide an explanation to everything that has been happening. You are so sweet to always care for your viewers even when you are going through the most. To answer your wondering if anyone would care to listen, I would and a lot of others would too because it does help many people. Thanks for being brave. Just to clarify I love seeing you be happy too, and I am so happy for you that you are doing vlogs and other creative activites for yourself more and more often so some of that happiness still continues every now and again when the cameras are off - it gives me peace to know you admit that~
I love you Amanda 🌸💗. You have my support for every decision you will ever make you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you 🌷🌹. The internet really is a scary place .
Just came across this today and want to say thank you for making this video…I’ve been going through it lately and it means a lot to hear someone with similar experiences.
I’m sending you all of my love and positive thoughts. It’s really hard to open up about these topics. You are paving the way for others to do the same. 💙
I had similar issues from 2019 to 2021, when I eventually had a hysterectomy because my body just did not respond to the typical treatments. As a result of the sustained period of actually truly traumatic health problems I have generalised anxiety and a PTSD response to the smell of blood and certain physical sensations. If anyone is ever struggling with menstruation, please speak to someone… friend, family member, medical professional (although they are often sadly very dismissive ☹️) because no-one should ever have to suffer alone. 💕
Awh amanda, I really wish I could give you a hug rn☹ Whenever you feel bad, just remember that we love you and we will always be here for you! You are so so strong for making this video, it takes much courage to be vulnerable on the internet! Also, take your time to heal, it can be difficult, but try to take one step at a time!!
I’m so glad you have a new doctor. I had a similar situation in my late 50’s. My family doctor dismissed my concerns and sent me home from the hospital and said there was nothing wrong with me. Maybe a diet would help with my “quick weight gain”. He sent me home from the hospital at night, during a snowstorm. Two days later I was so desperate that I called a doctor in a different specialty (GYN instead of family medicine). He brought in a GYN surgeon during that appointment and the surgeon immediately admitted me back into the hospital. He did emergency surgery the next day and found a 16 pound benign tumor laying against my ovaries. (Not a quick weight gain, but a fast growing benign tumor that was causing me to be malnourished, and have low oxygen levels. I was drowning in my own fluids.) The complete surgery saved my life. Although the 16 pound tumor was benign, I had a microscopic sized cancer growing in my uterus. I am 9.5 years cancer-free now. The surgeon said I would have died that week if I had stayed home and not actively sought more help.
Please keep a close eye on your body and don’t hesitate to yell if your menstrual problems return/continue. Also, depression is a health abnormality just like diabetes is. You are not crazy and there is amazing help out there. I love that your current doctor is receptive to your issues and helping you. But if you don’t see your depression improving continuously, you might need to talk with a psychiatrist. I have had a psychiatrist for 4 years now. At first I saw him once a month. Now, we are out to 4 times a year. He has been invaluable in helping deal with issues that started in childhood.
Be well. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are not alone! Hugs.
My dear Amanda, I want to start this comment by saying I feel so much empathy for you. ❤ I also suffer from depression, anxiety and got diagnosed with hypothyroidism just a few years ago. I am so, so proud of you for sharing your journey with us, both physical and mental. It is totally okay to be struggling and not have a resolution at hand. Most of the time there really isn't one and that's also totally okay. You don't owe us anything. I honestly feel so honored to be part of the audience who gets to hear about your life situation and feelings, I hope you know that. You are not alone in this, I promise. You will feel better again, I can also promise you that. Take care and I'll see you again when you stream ❤
Chronic disease can be a catalyst for depression. Thank you for your honesty. You are much loved. Get support from family, close friends and good professionals out there. Take care of yourself. Take time off when you need it.
Hey amanda, I CANNOT STOP SAYING THIS but it’s really admirable that you are so brave to be honest with everyone, that’s something I really admire about you! Keep on going strong and little doodles will really love you and will support you! Take your time with doing things, do what you are more comfortable with. Health definitely comes first so take care of yourself. Sending lots and lots of love for you!! It’ll all be alright, you will do amazing!! Don’t be afraid that people don’t care, we all care about you and wish the best for you!! YOU GO GIRLL!! ❤❤
This video will help someone else that is going though the same thing. You did the right thing for yours self by seeing your doctor. Now the help will come and keep telling others about what you are going though now.
I can’t believe the doctors took so long to have you make an ultrasound omg. Hope you’ll get better, Amanda! ❤️
Amanda, I have been following you since 2017 and I have always loved your work and videos. I never knew that being such a bubbly person you are, you were internally going through so much. I hope you are fine now and recovering from all your ailments. You are a very strong person to share all these in a video. As someone who is suffering from PCOS, I understand how you've felt about your menstruation issue maybe not in so much depth but a little bit. Since you are elder to me, I cannot really advice you but one thing that I am sure is that your family, friends and we lil doodles are always there for you, to support you and cheer you up. Take care and we all love you ♥️🌸
❤I don’t comment often but want to say thank you for this! And send a big as hug!!!I wish this kind of sharing existed when i was younger, especially as someone who never opened up about my problems with sadnes, loneliness’s and constant anxiety, Thinking this is just how i am. I just always thought I was different…. Finally went to a psychologist in my late 20is but it took several more years and a friends su***, before i finally went to a psychiatrist and actually got a diagnosis, it was freeing. And after finally starting with meds, i understood that there was another way to feel… and I finally understood what “normal” was…. Lol … have to laugh cause I didn’t think it was posible… so know i tell anyone who asks, I’m open about it and if people can’t deal that’s on them. Share, care and let people know there is hope so they know they can share too!
Oh sweetie. I just want to give you a motherly hug. I'm glad you have a diagnosis and can get the help you need and deserve.
Hopefully you are doing better now and just know that it’s okay to take breaks! 😊
Oh, Amanda, I'm sending you lots of love. I just recently had surgery for Endometriosis so I can only imagine what you went through. Depression is such a minefield, it's a lair. I hope you get the help you need with all your health issues.
Watching now but just let me say, my prayers are with you babygirl 💕✨🙏🏽
the way you talk about your mental health, how you not feel super sad or suicidal but death would be freeing is exactly how I felt last year, you put it into words so amazingly. thanks for sharing this Amanda ❤ really thank you thank you thank you
So many silent viewers of yours are commenting now, I'm also one of them. I've been watching your videos for the last 6 years but never commented anything.
The thing I wanted to say is that as I'm a muslim, whenever I'm down or depressed a bit, I always have hope in God that He's there for me and everything's gonna be fine and that I have a purpose in life that is to worship one true God.
I really want you to search about the truth of life. I'm just suggesting you to research on Islam a little and I love you a lot that's why I care for your this life and afterlife. If you want you can see on UA-cam there are many videos of people reverting and how they find peace by connecting to the real God. I hope it works the same for you too. ❤
i personally feel that mental and physical health and deeply tied to each other, and it can be such a vicious cycle! i can really relate to feeling super hesitant to talk to friends and family about mental health, and like a lot of other commenters here, you are not alone! i hope that undergoing treatment begins to alleviate some of the symptoms you're feeling for both your mental and physical health. it's not easy being in your position as a content creator, and you're doing what you can to start that healing journey. we believe in you and will always be here to support you amanda!
really appreciate you sharing your experience and being so vulnerable here
I can complete understand. Cancer runs in my family as well and I had that same surgery March 2022. I have been in menopause for 4 years and then all of a sudden the "flow" came which is a sign of cancer according to my GYN so they removed them ASAP and thank God pathology report benign. . . YAY! It's important that we take care of ourselves and remember ME TIME! Praying for you young lady. Be Blessed.
You are so brave, Amanda! Watching you all these years and you never showed us anything aside from your positive contents. Know that you are loved by many and I pray for your total healing!