This is the right time to discuss these conversations. I experienced cardiomyopathy and the journey hasn't been easy. The number of times nimeulizwa when will I get baby number 2 and am like do I need to go tell everyone that my heart can't sustain carrying another pregnancy. I just keep quiet and tell them a time will come. Thank you....
Waah dear I also had the same ailment,and my plans were to have 4kids though I have 3 and I can't even dare dream of baby no 4 because of the horrible experience
I started trying for a baby in 2014. My dream was to have like 4😅. Let me tell you Maina, recurrent miscarriages became the order of the day. After 7 of them, I conceived in 2021 Jan. It was a very difficult pregnancy and at 6 months I gave birth to a very beautiful girl weighing 1kg. Stayed in NICU for 78 days. Aki me am okay with this 1 ka girl. She's my everything.
The reproductive process is a God process. My sister had fibroid, overbled to death literally during her CS procedure, was resuscitated back to life and the doctors had to remove her uterus without consent in order to save her life. It is personal, it is painful... a story like that is not what she would be proud publicizing. We just need to support every woman without shaming or reminding them of what they have no control over. Whatever your reasons are Bi Mkuru, we respect that. I actually don't even think you needed to explain.
Yes, people should respect other people decision, me i have 7 of them 4girls and 3 boys, and im okey with that, people say huyu anazaa kama panya yet i dont beg them anything, i work hard for my kids.
This conversation was much needed. I had my son at 21 His 17 years now Done with #highschool 🎉 My reason for one and only child is because of the trauma and struggle I went through including the character development I experienced through my journey of parenting We are preparing for the next level now One child is enough I also have a life that I want to live Down grading is not an achievement
I had my first at 17yrs, the next came at 34, 35 and 36ys one was the best pregnancy, the rest Netflix movies, the last one made me say I thank God she is the 4th and the last one By God's grace. Everyone has a story and everyone's grace is different.
People should let people be. You do you! I'm a mother of 5 na hakuna mtu amenizawadi for that, they are my joy not anyone else's!! Watu wajibambe kivyao
Other than the main factors to consider, financial, health and mental stability, I look at my kids future relationships and friendship and I feel like a sibling makes life better only if it is possible.
I want to disagree, with some of your points and also agree with some 1. Having many children doesn’t mean you have no time for them.As a parent, you have to be very intentional and be present in your children’s life. 2. When we had 2 kids, we struggled more than now that we have 4.We had financial breakthroughs and career breakthrough etc 3. I agree that children from large families prefer getting lesser kids and that is still ok. Bottom line…This is to women, whether married or single give birth to children you can comfortably take care of as a single parent.
Got my kid at 18..My life was disoriented..Shez 19yrs,a 2nd student yr at JKUAT..I couldn't go to college,had to hustle for my kid...I thank God i have managed to go back to sch last year..I'm never going back there..One child is enough!
I would also be interested in hearing from women who regret motherhood.From my observations in Kenya,too many women have children due to societal pressure and they don’t seem interested enough in this innocent person whom they have brought into this world!
i'm but a 19year old ....listening to Judy and Nthenya speak...i see this conversation from another point of view and i'll stop teasing my cousins.They might ignore coz i say it as a joke but now...i'll respect them .Thanks for educating us and explaining it from another point of view
I have two kids and i still hear people telling me to get a third born and am like😒😒 I almost died in 2020 when giving birth to my son. Si kwa ubaya but let's learn to mind our tongues
Honestly after my baby daddy refused to take care of our baby when I was 4 months old pregnant I swore to never have another kid...like I can't still take out all the drama and his words out of my mind 😢😢😢..now my baby is 5 years old...and am never having another kid!!!!period
Nthenya, I had the same experience after birth. I went back to the hospital a week after birth with 200 BP and I was not breathing. I had water everywhere in my body, of course including the lungs. The right cover of my heart was not closing and all the doctors did not know whether it was not closing because of the water or whether it not closing had caused the water being retained. All my organs were failing and I thought I was dying😢😢. This is the most scary thing especially thinking about the baby and the father who both need you so much. I went through hell and back and so I understand this decision 💯! I went ahead and got another one but I was regretting the decision because the problem started during the pregnancy and I was thinking how selfish I was to want another child in my situation, I almost died! But I thank God that my two kids and me are now healthy! At some point, I had 5 head doctors attending to me, I shed a tear when you said that all doctors had not seen such a case because that is exactly what they told me here in Germany, they were all shocked and did not know how to deal with the situation. I would not wish that for my worst enemy. Everyone should have the freedom to decide how many children they want to have….or none at all!!
😭 thank you so much for sharing your experience. I have to be under specialists care if I conceive again and I am not sure I am ready for that. After my experience I have come across others who have gone through the same and it’s time we highlight it to save lives.
Buwhy would you even get a second one after that first experience, you didn't learn your lesson? Only death can teach you a lesson. That's so selfish and unreasonable of you.
It's about time we had these conversations openly. Am a mother to a nine year old who came after a series of miscarriages, a high risk pregnancy and a difficult delivery with complications from pre-eclampsia.He is enough and I can't imagine my life without him. If you don't know someone's story, be kind and respect their decisions and space.
I support this conversation 100% I got my son at 20. My life stopped. Having to take care of a kid it's not about financially but emotionally, Mentally and physically being present being able to play around and bond with your kid. Then there's you. You also have to take care of yourself and make sure you are sane. My God my journey was not easy and to date I have Trauma. Wish society would be kind before talking or asking people some questions.
Me too , i had my baby at 22 and upto date almost 3yrs i am still traumatized. Nikikumbuka venye i was insulted by my mom, then i experienced ppd, kuenda clinic peke yangu aiii weuh
I love that we are having this conversations.I had a very difficult pregnancy with twins .I fear going back to ICU again. And I hate it when people ask when am giving birth again. People should respect and stay away from being entitled with anyone's womb.
Respect for everyone decision 🎉, personally i want two kids and i will be good to go. Am having my second pregnancy now and thank God am about to deliver 😊
My own view and stand its never a mistake to give birth to 1,2,10,20 babies or even have none and adopt then its all a choice and a matter of self happiness and content. Work according to your effort,plan and budget
I'm loving this Judy and Nthenya I have been there for years.Some people will even ask you ,eti uliamua kuwa kama mzungu mtoto mmoja bla bla.Deep in my heart I feel like exploding icoz it's only me who knows my story.people go through a lot be it health wise,be it career wise,financial wise etc.We should learn to let people be.
The conversation people don't want to talk about 🥺❤❤my mum died long ago before i get out of high school i miss mum daughter conversation but watching you judy i feel like im listening to my mum❤you have a beautiful heart like my mum and so humble 🙏Thank you so much 🥺i look up to you as a mum❤❤i love you so much 😊
As an only child I can guarantee y'all we are okay living our lives without siblings. Everyday I'm so grateful that my mum decided to only have one child because that is what she could handle at the time. About loneliness, I can guarantee you, in whole years of living I have never felt lonely mind you I never had cousins of the same age gap. The only downside about being an an only child, is that you become extremely close with your parents because they literally become your friend, siblings etc. I remember i would always go to work with my mum 😅.But I would never have it any other way.
I have also made it a choice to only have one child. My mum think it's absurd but seeing how my friends who have siblings lives are and their relationship with their parents is , I know havingone child is the way to go. My life would be way difficult if my mum ever had other kids.
Ooh this me too. I love being an only child. I low key love that I don’t have siblings wahala 😂. I have never felt loneliness either I was surrounded by cousins.
I had the most traumatic birth experience,my husband was present in the labour room,he witnessed almost loosing me and our son, I almost died,labouring for 36 hours and going in to a comma, For us we are completely comfortable with one child,
Am a mother to one beautiful daughter who is 8yrs old and autistic raising her feels like am raising more than one kid yet people keep on asking when am adding another child not minding what am going through both physically and emotionally.
Me too. I have a son....but for me, I decided my one beautiful son is okay for me. The possibility of getting another autistic child doesn't make the situation any better.
My wife experienced cardiomyopathy after birth and I thank God for her healing.. 1.5 years down the line, God blessed us with one more. It is God who gives us the ability to sire children and to provide for them, it's never our our strength.. Aligning with God's plan for our families is most important!
I lost my first pregnancy at 16weeks after a very traumatic 1st trimester, conceived again and had a very difficult pregnancy as well. Shortly after birth everyone was on my neck about adding a second kid niwalee wote pamoja🤦♀️ I was broken for years and became super defensive about childdbirth.... Matters child birth should be left for women to decide when or if they are comfortable adding more kids
I lost my baby and decided never to have or go through such pain and depression again ...but some people never stop asking this stupid question and their solution for me having another baby aty it will fill the gap inside me ...nkt thanks alot at least l know am not alone for making my decision
Honestly,this is the same thing i have been asking myself,personally being a mom of one boy,i don't feel like having another child,people say that am crazy but am very okay and comfortable.The pain i went through wacha tu
Heeeeh after having my second daughter the experience I had.. I feel you Nthenya..hio part ya your life being on the line...we went behind that tent with my husband and said nama nama nama..that's why there's adoption also.. thank you for having this conversation
My first time and I am loving you Ladies,the best conversation ever,i come from a big family of 9 children me being the third and the first wife had 7...its only the first wife children got good life when dad had money and two of my sisters one late,mimi ni kuhustle since,,i hated many kids ,and now I only have 2 ..one 19 yrs and last born Grade 1..ni hivyo tu..
I'm at the age when Judy had Mumbus, and I don't have a kid nor am I dating, but I find these conversations very controversial, and people are not ready for them but I insist for them to be loud! Judy almost broke down at an interview a while ago on SPM BUZZ and I felt it. Trust me people will always talk, and people have opinions however they want, at the end of the day, all you have is your family, however small. They are who matter the most ❤.
MTU asikupee pressure darling, pressure nilipelewa from family to neighbors to friends to community,karibu nioleke mapema😂, when I was age 13,I heard cuzo saying no girl turns 20virgin,manze hata 30 I wasn't ashamedly Bora sex Niya married,make sure your account is enough to bring up your child Incase your partner isn't there, achieve your dreams before rushing to get kids , know how to handle pressure from people why not married and why not with kids
my dad passed when i was 10 and my mum was 27 with 4 kids....she has raised us alone since then....its been 13 years now and i have seen how she struggles to provide for us. i keep thinking if she was left with one kid how easy it would be.i myself want only one kind and when i say it to my friends they say i need to get more..thank you for this conversation. i can now stand my ground
Same here, my mum was left with 13 kids I am no.12 in my family, I was only 8 yrs. The first 4 ndio walikuwa 18 yrs and above. So the other 8 of us were dependant to her fully being in college. Thank Lord, my dad was very financially stable, but still it was hard.
What a profound discussion ladies. I'm happy Nthenya you mentioned "Family gatherings" and torture with their annoying questions. I've heard comments like , just get a man and get a kid , you're old and your eggs are depleting. And this is from family.. I'd rather keep my distance than attend
Good conversion althogh Nthenya was soo domineering...hata story ikageuka yake sana...😢😢i wish she had just let Judy give her story more..anakata kata aki😢
Me am one of those who have had two and the questions I have been asked have been so knowing. I remember one lady who was working for me earning less than 8k, and she had 4 kids, her life was miserable stressing me because of her being unable to raise those. So I asked her, you that have three, how have you managed to take care of them?....she kept quiet. Then I realised that not one person has told me, this term I am paying school fees for your kids, noone whatsoever. I am almost lost my life with my second , why go back there. This was a much needed conversation!
i love this conversation am a mother of 7And i thank God for them relating with child A to i is an awesome thing you have the strength to care for them and imagine God comes through for you my 5 Kids are big now Others are working 2 of them are the smallest let me say it has been awesome it depends with one and how you take motherhood its a blessing to be a parent do you and live true as you know yourself more
I also believe that whatever number of children you decide to have is solely a personal decision. Even with all other factors held constant. It's not even how many you can afford comfortably, it's about your decision. You can have 5 and downgrade if you need to if that's what you decide. You can also have none and use all the money you have in what YOU personally decide. God's grace is sufficient in all situations. So don't be guilty if you have one and never feel the need the explain why you have 10.
Just watching this now and Nthenya is narrating the story like she is narrating my own story…fluid retention postpartum is something else…we need to create awareness.
Great conversation, i can relate with you guys, i have 2 and when i say i don't need more kids people think I'm not okay or i hate children but this is me.
You lack kids people talk… ukae na mmoja they still talk , upate wengi wasema uzaa kama panya .. so choose your path .. mimi am only having one na sina pressure
My friend don't even try to go against your conscience. I did that and am at the edge of loosing my head my daughter is Mumbus age 2010 July i yield to pressure ati mtoto anakuja na yake for a while it was okay until the second born came in 2019 and the dad realized she couldn't talk and he took off , lowering standard is un understatement i have sold 2 cars to take her to therapy transferred my daughter while in class 8 the list is endless of the compromise I have made in my life
Before people ask why you don’t have another child, they should understand what you are going through, maybe you want one and it is not happening, maybe you have gone through losses and nobody understands, maybe you only what one child. People should be sympathetic and empathetic
Hi beautiful ladies, i support what you're all saying,,, coz everyone has her own reasons coz as for me i am not a parent but i have ever been pregnant then i got a miscarriage at 14week, sometimes i feel bad about it and sometimes i fell like maybe i wouldn't have been survived, coz the expilience i had during that p i use to ask my mom where did she got all that energy to have 4children For me maybe one day i will get one but i fear being pregnant and with this economy its a no...
Watu wajue kumind their business....the same people who give others pleasure to get many kids are the same who talk badly when you lack to provide basic needs for them..utawaita mchango ya shuke and aome are like, " wakizaa watoi wengi hawakujia they will need to raise the babies" ata kama money ain't everything, planning for the family is critical
The conversation is beautiful as long as its still parents taking care of the children the problem only comes in when children now need to take care of parents. And the time you have to make decisions onbehalf of your parents and this is an inhouse thing that outsiders have no hand in.....honestly do not have a big family that you cant manage but again never have so small family that have no connections.
In this society what suprises me is that women we are taken as nothing if we don't bare kids ..Some gave birth not because they want but because of husband and their parents
I saw just a highlight and today i made to watch it in full. people need to think before they talk regardless of the opinion they have towards people. Thanks for sharing Ladies
There is a video mumbus did with her father about how to wear sanitary towers and i wrote a comment "talking on behalf of mumbus men i want a brother," i wrote that out of love i have for this family and its was just for fan. Im sorry for that im so sorry guys im a very big fun of this family love you so much ❤❤❤
Love love this conversation. Lost bit of it in the Swahili. Forgive us the Ugandans - Swahili skipped us. Got most if it though. Applaud you two beautiful ladies for having this bold conversation
Not to question or judge anyone. But from the child's point of view, deep down everyone needs a sibling. Same way you have a need for a partner. One child should not be a choice most couples. I feel like team one child somehow also belong to team childfree. Power and light to all. Nothing wrong having more kids.
I'm glad we are finally having this conversation cos we Africans need to learn to mind our business and stop plsnning other people's lives for them. We don't know the full story so why judge؟ I'm 45، blissfully single and childfree. For some funny reason People think it is ok to advice me on my next steps این life even though I have it covered. I wanna به childfree for life and if I feel the need for a child I'd rather adopt a child این highschool or uni. As for marriage، I'm still enjoy my space and peace. If it happens، it will be to a childfree person as well and it won't be a traditional marriage with Documents but a partnership. Meaning we get to keep and maintain our homes cos that's my preference. And last but not least we need to de-center men. Marriage and children should not be your entire personality. There's more to life than procreation and domestics. I'm so glad we are having this conversation cos it will prep us for more profound ones that need to be had in future. Thank you Mkurugenzi Crew. What a lovely ترست just before the end of the year. We appreciate you🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤ Sending you all love and light
The best gift you can give your child is a sibling . Unless you are not physically able have more than one child please ladies the modern mentality only works for awhile. Motherhood is beautiful and every child is a blessing . I am a mother of one and I pray God blesses me with an opportunity to give him a sibling . Took time to get to that point I feel ready for another one but I am grateful I am finally here .
Everyone's experience is different. A child who's been brought up alone will most likely desire to have more than one kid cause from their point of view they were lonely but as a parent you also have your own story and experience. We are 2 kids and my prayer is to have 3 kids cause of my experience growing with one sibling. So utapata mtu ana kuuliza when are you adding another kod maybe they know the joy of having several siblings especially when they get along well and wakiwa adults its just something else or they were brought as the only child n hawakufeel poa so they're trying kukuuliza utaongeza lini. Anyhow every family is diff and also have a conversation with your kid if it's one and make sure they are mentally, emotionally okay so that wakitoka huko nje theyll know how to relate with others and share pia.
wow!!! Ok, i lost my baby back in 2013 after birth, went into comma n got admitted in ICU, my kidneys failed and that's how me n being pregnant again parted ways coz i began dialysis. Now, i did dialysis for all those years till 2021 when my bro donated kidney to me. The question with most people around is Kiende mmepanga kupata watoto when? Unapelekanga pesa yako wapi na hauna mtoto? 12 years down the lane n my husband is like "mama i didn't love u because of kids maisha yetu iendelee"
@@wairimuwaihwa2475lambwa akili na shetani juu imeshaoza, wewe si uzae watoto kumi on behalf of hao wenye hawana watoto wawili. Tumekwambia tuko na shida 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬fck!!!!
We actually feel good!!! I love being an only child of my mom. We don't know it any other way because it not a guarantee that having a sibling would mmhave made our lives any better.
As an only child I'm always grateful to mum for only having one child. Like till to date just the mere idea that mum would ever give birth to another child makes me so angry. I can guarantee y'all we as only children are so happy and content because that's the only life we know. And to be honest all my friends have siblings and whenever I see their relationship with their parents I know for sure being the only child is the way to go. I also just want one child.
The best conversation ever...I deliver my son while I was so young after two weeks after birth my son eczema ikaanza..u know how my son could scratch his skin anableed akiwa 2weeks started clinic 2 weeks .now my son 10 yrs am.not ready for another kid pressure ta friend walinipa and I actually cut them off since they dnt understand what I passed thro....cpati second niachwe niake na my elvis mm was almost to go crazy and ni chizi..aca....period
Am an only child and i can't advice anyone to stay with one kid unless there is a health issue. I usually get so bored and most times I wish I had siblings to turn to incase I need help and even call to laugh on silly childhood stories but am just alone and bored 😢
The reason why have my 1 son. Weaah Mainaaa!miscarried 6 times,i got lucky gave birth n my 1st son died Lucky i got pg via IVF n its was terrible seeing gynaecologist n endocrinologist I became a threat to my bby when p.g Mimi i like kids but the experience bei ya huyu mtoto Someone si ulete kijana , msista For now am almost forte....... Bora Naweza simama kwa laini niitwe mama am ok😊😊😊😊❤
I salute you Mama. A day will come when women will be delivered from this torturous path. It wouldn't matter if yiu are called a Mom or not. That day is fast approaching. We shall ululate with joy cos women do tt have to suffer anymore.
Am 51 with 2kids I don't regret people will always talk my in-laws told me sijui kuzaa I believe one should give birth to whatever kids they want it's a personal thing, mutu aishi maisha yake ukitaka kuuza 100 ni wako if you want to be childless you are not less of a person wafrica let's embrace personal decision, Judy na mukuru I love your shows
I am a single Mom of a 14yr old girl and yes this question does not sit well with me. I am glad you had this conversation to enlighten the public to stop 🛑 and mind their business! Ahsante sana.❤
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This is the right time to discuss these conversations. I experienced cardiomyopathy and the journey hasn't been easy. The number of times nimeulizwa when will I get baby number 2 and am like do I need to go tell everyone that my heart can't sustain carrying another pregnancy. I just keep quiet and tell them a time will come. Thank you....
Hugs mum❤
❤❤ lots of hugs
How do you manage...I experienced this too
This a genuine case,hugs ma
Waah dear I also had the same ailment,and my plans were to have 4kids though I have 3 and I can't even dare dream of baby no 4 because of the horrible experience
I started trying for a baby in 2014. My dream was to have like 4😅. Let me tell you Maina, recurrent miscarriages became the order of the day. After 7 of them, I conceived in 2021 Jan. It was a very difficult pregnancy and at 6 months I gave birth to a very beautiful girl weighing 1kg. Stayed in NICU for 78 days. Aki me am okay with this 1 ka girl. She's my everything.
Haki Mungu alikuonekania! May He be praised. I wish you a wonderful life with your offspring.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel
Oyeee
😢aaw God bless you and your beautiful daughter ❤
The reproductive process is a God process. My sister had fibroid, overbled to death literally during her CS procedure, was resuscitated back to life and the doctors had to remove her uterus without consent in order to save her life. It is personal, it is painful... a story like that is not what she would be proud publicizing. We just need to support every woman without shaming or reminding them of what they have no control over.
Whatever your reasons are Bi Mkuru, we respect that. I actually don't even think you needed to explain.
One child is enough,got mine at 22,she will be turning 15 next month, @Judy my daughter shares birthday date with Mumbus🎉
Yes, people should respect other people decision, me i have 7 of them 4girls and 3 boys, and im okey with that, people say huyu anazaa kama panya yet i dont beg them anything, i work hard for my kids.
so long as u don't make your older kids act like parents and babysitters like my mother
@queenshii.3 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂aaaahi
Having one is a problem with people & also having more than one is a problem....watu bado huongea
I am soon to be team u Sylvia
This conversation was much needed.
I had my son at 21
His 17 years now
Done with #highschool 🎉
My reason for one and only child is because of the trauma and struggle I went through including the character development I experienced through my journey of parenting
We are preparing for the next level now
One child is enough
I also have a life that I want to live
Down grading is not an achievement
Hongera Mummy and Merry Xmas to you,daughter. God bless abundantly ❤
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Good reason,,,,whatever people go through ,make them have their special decisions
There is GRACE to the number of children God gives you. Kama ni huyo mmoja it is well and kama ni ten it is well. God gives capacity.
True
I had my first at 17yrs, the next came at 34, 35 and 36ys one was the best pregnancy, the rest Netflix movies, the last one made me say I thank God she is the 4th and the last one By God's grace. Everyone has a story and everyone's grace is different.
People should let people be.
You do you!
I'm a mother of 5 na hakuna mtu amenizawadi for that, they are my joy not anyone else's!!
Watu wajibambe kivyao
Other than the main factors to consider, financial, health and mental stability, I look at my kids future relationships and friendship and I feel like a sibling makes life better only if it is possible.
I want to disagree, with some of your points and also agree with some 1. Having many children doesn’t mean you have no time for them.As a parent, you have to be very intentional and be present in your children’s life. 2. When we had 2 kids, we struggled more than now that we have 4.We had financial breakthroughs and career breakthrough etc 3. I agree that children from large families prefer getting lesser kids and that is still ok.
Bottom line…This is to women, whether married or single give birth to children you can comfortably take care of as a single parent.
💯💯💯💯💯
Bi Mkuru❤ Judy our queen tunakupenda
Omba interview vizuri😂😂😂
Comme
Watu wa kusoma comment kwanza pitieni hapa.... Another moment to learn something
the same way people should stop telling people to get married because they have grown so old
I fully support these 2 ladies. I am team 1 child n this is wat it is. I need no advice from anyone
I am believing in God for a child. And u know that one day He's gonna answer my prayers.
Amen
Team one child represented, I thought I was the only one with this one baby ideas, after diabetes and Corona postpartum depression, ✌🏿
Got my kid at 18..My life was disoriented..Shez 19yrs,a 2nd student yr at JKUAT..I couldn't go to college,had to hustle for my kid...I thank God i have managed to go back to sch last year..I'm never going back there..One child is enough!
I would also be interested in hearing from women who regret motherhood.From my observations in Kenya,too many women have children due to societal pressure and they don’t seem interested enough in this innocent person whom they have brought into this world!
True
Very true
Couldn't agree more.
True
i'm but a 19year old ....listening to Judy and Nthenya speak...i see this conversation from another point of view and i'll stop teasing my cousins.They might ignore coz i say it as a joke but now...i'll respect them .Thanks for educating us and explaining it from another point of view
I have two kids and i still hear people telling me to get a third born and am like😒😒 I almost died in 2020 when giving birth to my son. Si kwa ubaya but let's learn to mind our tongues
Me I have two girls and people keep telling me sasa zaa msichana,what if nizae msichana tena?😂
I have 2 na I wanted 3 but mambo nimeona kwa ndoa Wacha nitosheke na my 2 babies
People should respect others decisions period
My pregnancy was crazy, was in hospital for almost the whole 9 months. It's traumatic just thinking about going back. One child is enough for now.
Honestly after my baby daddy refused to take care of our baby when I was 4 months old pregnant I swore to never have another kid...like I can't still take out all the drama and his words out of my mind 😢😢😢..now my baby is 5 years old...and am never having another kid!!!!period
Same thing happened to me,and i swore the same,now she's 13yrs..am in abroad nasifikiri mwingine😊
Me too mine is three l cannot l don't have the grace
@@dorahIyieze me too gal😅 tuko majuu sasa it's God's grace..am outta country too
@@njerisalome6920 be strong sweetie ♥️ until we make it sasa
Nthenya, I had the same experience after birth. I went back to the hospital a week after birth with 200 BP and I was not breathing. I had water everywhere in my body, of course including the lungs. The right cover of my heart was not closing and all the doctors did not know whether it was not closing because of the water or whether it not closing had caused the water being retained. All my organs were failing and I thought I was dying😢😢.
This is the most scary thing especially thinking about the baby and the father who both need you so much.
I went through hell and back and so I understand this decision 💯!
I went ahead and got another one but I was regretting the decision because the problem started during the pregnancy and I was thinking how selfish I was to want another child in my situation, I almost died! But I thank God that my two kids and me are now healthy!
At some point, I had 5 head doctors attending to me, I shed a tear when you said that all doctors had not seen such a case because that is exactly what they told me here in Germany, they were all shocked and did not know how to deal with the situation.
I would not wish that for my worst enemy.
Everyone should have the freedom to decide how many children they want to have….or none at all!!
😭 thank you so much for sharing your experience. I have to be under specialists care if I conceive again and I am not sure I am ready for that. After my experience I have come across others who have gone through the same and it’s time we highlight it to save lives.
Buwhy would you even get a second one after that first experience, you didn't learn your lesson? Only death can teach you a lesson. That's so selfish and unreasonable of you.
🫂🥹❤️
@@Habibtay be a little kind please. In stead, let's give glory to God for sustaining her life and of the child. He(God) alone is the giver of life.
@@HabibtayJesus Christ 😮!
It's about time we had these conversations openly. Am a mother
to a nine year old who came after a series of miscarriages, a high risk pregnancy and a difficult delivery with complications from pre-eclampsia.He is enough and I can't imagine my life without him. If you don't know someone's story, be kind and respect their decisions and space.
same whatsaap with you...exactly 100% happened to me in 2017
I also developed pre-eclampsia last year and it's a scary condition but all is well now
I support this conversation 100%
I got my son at 20. My life stopped. Having to take care of a kid it's not about financially but emotionally, Mentally and physically being present being able to play around and bond with your kid. Then there's you. You also have to take care of yourself and make sure you are sane.
My God my journey was not easy and to date I have Trauma. Wish society would be kind before talking or asking people some questions.
Me too , i had my baby at 22 and upto date almost 3yrs i am still traumatized. Nikikumbuka venye i was insulted by my mom, then i experienced ppd, kuenda clinic peke yangu aiii weuh
@@sevenakuthi6471 sorry about that ppd is a monster and people never understand ukiwaambia
I love that we are having this conversations.I had a very difficult pregnancy with twins .I fear going back to ICU again.
And I hate it when people ask when am giving birth again. People should respect and stay away from being entitled with anyone's womb.
Respect for everyone decision 🎉, personally i want two kids and i will be good to go. Am having my second pregnancy now and thank God am about to deliver 😊
My own view and stand its never a mistake to give birth to 1,2,10,20 babies or even have none and adopt then its all a choice and a matter of self happiness and content. Work according to your effort,plan and budget
I'm loving this Judy and Nthenya I have been there for years.Some people will even ask you ,eti uliamua kuwa kama mzungu mtoto mmoja bla bla.Deep in my heart I feel like exploding icoz it's only me who knows my story.people go through a lot be it health wise,be it career wise,financial wise etc.We should learn to let people be.
woiye. just insult one siku moja..ataspread the news to their fellow nosy people
The conversation people don't want to talk about 🥺❤❤my mum died long ago before i get out of high school i miss mum daughter conversation but watching you judy i feel like im listening to my mum❤you have a beautiful heart like my mum and so humble 🙏Thank you so much 🥺i look up to you as a mum❤❤i love you so much 😊
As an only child I can guarantee y'all we are okay living our lives without siblings. Everyday I'm so grateful that my mum decided to only have one child because that is what she could handle at the time. About loneliness, I can guarantee you, in whole years of living I have never felt lonely mind you I never had cousins of the same age gap. The only downside about being an an only child, is that you become extremely close with your parents because they literally become your friend, siblings etc. I remember i would always go to work with my mum 😅.But I would never have it any other way.
I have also made it a choice to only have one child. My mum think it's absurd but seeing how my friends who have siblings lives are and their relationship with their parents is , I know havingone child is the way to go. My life would be way difficult if my mum ever had other kids.
Ooh this me too. I love being an only child. I low key love that I don’t have siblings wahala 😂. I have never felt loneliness either I was surrounded by cousins.
But there are many only children who are reeling in pain of being born alone
There are also siblings who don't get along
@@kentechsoft7265I have few friends who were born alone and they say they are okay and never wish for a sibling ... it just depends
I had the most traumatic birth experience,my husband was present in the labour room,he witnessed almost loosing me and our son,
I almost died,labouring for 36 hours and going in to a comma,
For us we are completely comfortable with one child,
I think this conversation is closely attached to not having kids at all. One thing i have learnt is closing avenues of societal pressure.
Am a mother to one beautiful daughter who is 8yrs old and autistic raising her feels like am raising more than one kid yet people keep on asking when am adding another child not minding what am going through both physically and emotionally.
Me too. I have a son....but for me, I decided my one beautiful son is okay for me.
The possibility of getting another autistic child doesn't make the situation any better.
Me too. Traumatic delivery and now raising an autistic boy. I am one and done!
I had the worst experience during child birth and i feel like i will soon be having a such a convo with hubby.
Thanks for this conversation us married and we haven't yet heard children go through a lot of BS from people
My wife experienced cardiomyopathy after birth and I thank God for her healing.. 1.5 years down the line, God blessed us with one more. It is God who gives us the ability to sire children and to provide for them, it's never our our strength.. Aligning with God's plan for our families is most important!
Judy we appreciate this conversation.We Love you and my dear live your life, your family deserves the very best.
I lost my first pregnancy at 16weeks after a very traumatic 1st trimester, conceived again and had a very difficult pregnancy as well. Shortly after birth everyone was on my neck about adding a second kid niwalee wote pamoja🤦♀️ I was broken for years and became super defensive about childdbirth.... Matters child birth should be left for women to decide when or if they are comfortable adding more kids
Am a single mum and i choose to have 1 child because i dont want to have children from different fathers
Me and you same
I lost my baby and decided never to have or go through such pain and depression again ...but some people never stop asking this stupid question and their solution for me having another baby aty it will fill the gap inside me ...nkt thanks alot at least l know am not alone for making my decision
❤❤❤❤❤
Honestly,this is the same thing i have been asking myself,personally being a mom of one boy,i don't feel like having another child,people say that am crazy but am very okay and comfortable.The pain i went through wacha tu
Heeeeh after having my second daughter the experience I had.. I feel you Nthenya..hio part ya your life being on the line...we went behind that tent with my husband and said nama nama nama..that's why there's adoption also.. thank you for having this conversation
My first time and I am loving you Ladies,the best conversation ever,i come from a big family of 9 children me being the third and the first wife had 7...its only the first wife children got good life when dad had money and two of my sisters one late,mimi ni kuhustle since,,i hated many kids ,and now I only have 2 ..one 19 yrs and last born Grade 1..ni hivyo tu..
I'm at the age when Judy had Mumbus, and I don't have a kid nor am I dating, but I find these conversations very controversial, and people are not ready for them but I insist for them to be loud! Judy almost broke down at an interview a while ago on SPM BUZZ and I felt it. Trust me people will always talk, and people have opinions however they want, at the end of the day, all you have is your family, however small. They are who matter the most ❤.
MTU asikupee pressure darling, pressure nilipelewa from family to neighbors to friends to community,karibu nioleke mapema😂, when I was age 13,I heard cuzo saying no girl turns 20virgin,manze hata 30 I wasn't ashamedly Bora sex Niya married,make sure your account is enough to bring up your child Incase your partner isn't there, achieve your dreams before rushing to get kids , know how to handle pressure from people why not married and why not with kids
Nthenya is sooo beautiful....
On point!! Get children you can properly raise!! God's will be done.
my dad passed when i was 10 and my mum was 27 with 4 kids....she has raised us alone since then....its been 13 years now and i have seen how she struggles to provide for us. i keep thinking if she was left with one kid how easy it would be.i myself want only one kind and when i say it to my friends they say i need to get more..thank you for this conversation. i can now stand my ground
Loó
Same here, my mum was left with 13 kids I am no.12 in my family, I was only 8 yrs. The first 4 ndio walikuwa 18 yrs and above. So the other 8 of us were dependant to her fully being in college. Thank Lord, my dad was very financially stable, but still it was hard.
That's me😂😂
@@christinekamau-br7yvyou are better,am 13th out of 16
@@christinekamau-br7yv❤
I remember Kate actress once said mtoto sio mandazi aty utamkula saa nne na chai ukihisi njaa. There is alot that comes with being a mom😮
What a profound discussion ladies. I'm happy Nthenya you mentioned "Family gatherings" and torture with their annoying questions.
I've heard comments like , just get a man and get a kid , you're old and your eggs are depleting.
And this is from family.. I'd rather keep my distance than attend
Good conversion althogh Nthenya was soo domineering...hata story ikageuka yake sana...😢😢i wish she had just let Judy give her story more..anakata kata aki😢
Am loving the conversation, as for me I can't imagine my son without a brother and a home to run to when am not there.
Worth my time. People's decisions should be respected. Period!
Great convo mama mumbus and nthenya. Whether one chooses to even have a child or not, they owe absolutely nobody any explanation ❤❤
I made that decision bt i came to change my mind 8yrs later...1st born ako job 2nd born in fm2 now bt i dnt regret
Mimi ni team no children and I support all women's choices
Ata mm n team no children
Me am one of those who have had two and the questions I have been asked have been so knowing. I remember one lady who was working for me earning less than 8k, and she had 4 kids, her life was miserable stressing me because of her being unable to raise those. So I asked her, you that have three, how have you managed to take care of them?....she kept quiet. Then I realised that not one person has told me, this term I am paying school fees for your kids, noone whatsoever. I am almost lost my life with my second , why go back there. This was a much needed conversation!
Loved this conversation. Can we now talk about people who completely don't want kids because of various reasons.
Yees and am proudly one of them. I don't care about society. It's my choice, and people need to respect that!
Yes we are becoming more and more! Childfree by choice.
Mimi nina mmoja na ningekosa kabisa ningekuwa sawa kabisaaaaaaa
This convo so much needed
i love this conversation am a mother of 7And i thank God for them relating with child A to i is an awesome thing you have the strength to care for them and imagine God comes through for you my 5 Kids are big now Others are working 2 of them are the smallest let me say it has been awesome it depends with one and how you take motherhood its a blessing to be a parent do you and live true as you know yourself more
I also believe that whatever number of children you decide to have is solely a personal decision. Even with all other factors held constant. It's not even how many you can afford comfortably, it's about your decision.
You can have 5 and downgrade if you need to if that's what you decide. You can also have none and use all the money you have in what YOU personally decide.
God's grace is sufficient in all situations.
So don't be guilty if you have one and never feel the need the explain why you have 10.
I love what am hearing... Hii economy walahi...am not a mum yet but i thank God am learning from you 🤩🤩🤩🤩
Just watching this now and Nthenya is narrating the story like she is narrating my own story…fluid retention postpartum is something else…we need to create awareness.
One is enough,I got mine at 22 and she's now 14❤❤
Married ama?
I am learning VERY HARD to minf my own business.People should do so too.Let people be.I love the conversation.
Great conversation, i can relate with you guys, i have 2 and when i say i don't need more kids people think I'm not okay or i hate children but this is me.
You lack kids people talk… ukae na mmoja they still talk , upate wengi wasema uzaa kama panya .. so choose your path .. mimi am only having one na sina pressure
My friend don't even try to go against your conscience. I did that and am at the edge of loosing my head my daughter is Mumbus age 2010 July i yield to pressure ati mtoto anakuja na yake for a while it was okay until the second born came in 2019 and the dad realized she couldn't talk and he took off , lowering standard is un understatement i have sold 2 cars to take her to therapy transferred my daughter while in class 8 the list is endless of the compromise I have made in my life
Loved this conversation. My mom is a mother of one abf hates been asked why she doesn't have other kids
That's me.....I am walking in your mum's shoes.
I love how you present your self Bi.mkurugenzi,,you are a woman of substance❤️ I think all women would follow your path.
Before people ask why you don’t have another child, they should understand what you are going through, maybe you want one and it is not happening, maybe you have gone through losses and nobody understands, maybe you only what one child. People should be sympathetic and empathetic
I just love the way Judy lives...I have a son and I just love how you live your life
Hi beautiful ladies, i support what you're all saying,,, coz everyone has her own reasons coz as for me i am not a parent but i have ever been pregnant then i got a miscarriage at 14week, sometimes i feel bad about it and sometimes i fell like maybe i wouldn't have been survived, coz the expilience i had during that p i use to ask my mom where did she got all that energy to have 4children
For me maybe one day i will get one but i fear being pregnant and with this economy its a no...
Ask God to give you a good man and pray God to help you clear the fears and move forward.
Aaaki
Watu wajue kumind their business....the same people who give others pleasure to get many kids are the same who talk badly when you lack to provide basic needs for them..utawaita mchango ya shuke and aome are like, " wakizaa watoi wengi hawakujia they will need to raise the babies" ata kama money ain't everything, planning for the family is critical
Eiishhh Nthenya is so pretty.
I support 100% I'm a mum of 2 and are enough not because of any trauma. Let people mind their own business
The conversation is beautiful as long as its still parents taking care of the children the problem only comes in when children now need to take care of parents. And the time you have to make decisions onbehalf of your parents and this is an inhouse thing that outsiders have no hand in.....honestly do not have a big family that you cant manage but again never have so small family that have no connections.
Good conversations ladies, let's respect people's decisions on how many children they want to have
In this society what suprises me is that women we are taken as nothing if we don't bare kids ..Some gave birth not because they want but because of husband and their parents
I saw just a highlight and today i made to watch it in full. people need to think before they talk regardless of the opinion they have towards people.
Thanks for sharing Ladies
There is a video mumbus did with her father about how to wear sanitary towers and i wrote a comment "talking on behalf of mumbus men i want a brother," i wrote that out of love i have for this family and its was just for fan. Im sorry for that im so sorry guys im a very big fun of this family love you so much ❤❤❤
one or none if i hadnt. i dont have a life!! enjoy ladies and may God protect and bless ur One. thats all we need!
Love love this conversation. Lost bit of it in the Swahili. Forgive us the Ugandans - Swahili skipped us. Got most if it though. Applaud you two beautiful ladies for having this bold conversation
Not to question or judge anyone. But from the child's point of view, deep down everyone needs a sibling. Same way you have a need for a partner. One child should not be a choice most couples. I feel like team one child somehow also belong to team childfree. Power and light to all. Nothing wrong having more kids.
I had to follow this family, to be able to differentiate the mother and the kid
Thank you Ladies for this conversation,let us learn to mind our business.
I'm glad we are finally having this conversation cos we Africans need to learn to mind our business and stop plsnning other people's lives for them. We don't know the full story so why judge؟
I'm 45، blissfully single and childfree. For some funny reason People think it is ok to advice me on my next steps این life even though I have it covered. I wanna به childfree for life and if I feel the need for a child I'd rather adopt a child این highschool or uni.
As for marriage، I'm still enjoy my space and peace. If it happens، it will be to a childfree person as well and it won't be a traditional marriage with Documents but a partnership. Meaning we get to keep and maintain our homes cos that's my preference. And last but not least we need to de-center men. Marriage and children should not be your entire personality. There's more to life than procreation and domestics. I'm so glad we are having this conversation cos it will prep us for more profound ones that need to be had in future. Thank you Mkurugenzi Crew. What a lovely ترست just before the end of the year. We appreciate you🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤
Sending you all love and light
The best gift you can give your child is a sibling . Unless you are not physically able have more than one child please ladies the modern mentality only works for awhile. Motherhood is beautiful and every child is a blessing . I am a mother of one and I pray God blesses me with an opportunity to give him a sibling . Took time to get to that point I feel ready for another one but I am grateful I am finally here .
Thank you so much mm mumbus for that watu hawana kazi ya kufanya
I like this conversation..I have one child ..people keep asking questions but I don't give a damn.....I like this
Everyone's experience is different. A child who's been brought up alone will most likely desire to have more than one kid cause from their point of view they were lonely but as a parent you also have your own story and experience. We are 2 kids and my prayer is to have 3 kids cause of my experience growing with one sibling. So utapata mtu ana kuuliza when are you adding another kod maybe they know the joy of having several siblings especially when they get along well and wakiwa adults its just something else or they were brought as the only child n hawakufeel poa so they're trying kukuuliza utaongeza lini. Anyhow every family is diff and also have a conversation with your kid if it's one and make sure they are mentally, emotionally okay so that wakitoka huko nje theyll know how to relate with others and share pia.
wow!!!
Ok, i lost my baby back in 2013 after birth, went into comma n got admitted in ICU, my kidneys failed and that's how me n being pregnant again parted ways coz i began dialysis. Now, i did dialysis for all those years till 2021 when my bro donated kidney to me.
The question with most people around is
Kiende mmepanga kupata watoto when?
Unapelekanga pesa yako wapi na hauna mtoto?
12 years down the lane n my husband is like "mama i didn't love u because of kids maisha yetu iendelee"
I wish you could also have a conversation with children born in one child family...how they feel
Agree
Agree 💯....one kid is not advisable
If you can,...have two to three JAMANI ACHENI UCHOYO
@@wairimuwaihwa2475lambwa akili na shetani juu imeshaoza, wewe si uzae watoto kumi on behalf of hao wenye hawana watoto wawili. Tumekwambia tuko na shida 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬fck!!!!
We actually feel good!!! I love being an only child of my mom. We don't know it any other way because it not a guarantee that having a sibling would mmhave made our lives any better.
As an only child I'm always grateful to mum for only having one child. Like till to date just the mere idea that mum would ever give birth to another child makes me so angry. I can guarantee y'all we as only children are so happy and content because that's the only life we know. And to be honest all my friends have siblings and whenever I see their relationship with their parents I know for sure being the only child is the way to go. I also just want one child.
The best conversation ever...I deliver my son while I was so young after two weeks after birth my son eczema ikaanza..u know how my son could scratch his skin anableed akiwa 2weeks started clinic 2 weeks .now my son 10 yrs am.not ready for another kid pressure ta friend walinipa and I actually cut them off since they dnt understand what I passed thro....cpati second niachwe niake na my elvis mm was almost to go crazy and ni chizi..aca....period
People should learn from this story ya Nthenya ...just let people be coz you you don't know what they went through
What of me with twins but get pressure from many many people eti twins are just like one kid😅😂😂😂😂.. people need to respect people's decisions
Am an only child and i can't advice anyone to stay with one kid unless there is a health issue. I usually get so bored and most times I wish I had siblings to turn to incase I need help and even call to laugh on silly childhood stories but am just alone and bored 😢
The reason why have my 1 son. Weaah Mainaaa!miscarried 6 times,i got lucky gave birth n my 1st son died
Lucky i got pg via IVF n its was terrible seeing gynaecologist n endocrinologist I became a threat to my bby when p.g
Mimi i like kids but the experience bei ya huyu mtoto
Someone si ulete kijana , msista
For now am almost forte.......
Bora Naweza simama kwa laini niitwe mama am ok😊😊😊😊❤
I salute you Mama. A day will come when women will be delivered from this torturous path. It wouldn't matter if yiu are called a Mom or not. That day is fast approaching. We shall ululate with joy cos women do tt have to suffer anymore.
Am 51 with 2kids I don't regret people will always talk my in-laws told me sijui kuzaa I believe one should give birth to whatever kids they want it's a personal thing, mutu aishi maisha yake ukitaka kuuza 100 ni wako if you want to be childless you are not less of a person wafrica let's embrace personal decision, Judy na mukuru I love your shows
I am a single Mom of a 14yr old girl and yes this question does not sit well with me.
I am glad you had this conversation to enlighten the public to stop 🛑 and mind their business!
Ahsante sana.❤