My Chinese Mother-in-law and I
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- This is the story of my Chinese mother-in-law and I.
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My name is Miriam Follin. I’m a Swedish woman who has been living and traveling in China since 2015. 2017 I married and began living with my husband in his hometown in north western China. On this channel I share videos on life, culture and food in rural Qinghai, and sometimes little videos from other parts of China or from Sweden.
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my mom used to tell me , “ a child isn’t the only blessing in a marriage, but also a loving mother in law.”
Yes that is true because a mother in law who always criticize makes life horrible for daughter in law..
*channie uwu*
I have one of the best mother in law and she always told me, I'm the best daughter in law, she only have one son 😁
Hi Miriam, your mother in law is lovely. She has a positive outlook on life and broke a cycle that she did not like. Thank you for sharing your relationship with us.
Yes, she has had a very tough life, but stays positive! I admire that. Thank you for watching!
U have the same nickname I used in youtube haha
This short vlog is one of my favorites because it sums up everything- yes you are both lucky. What if you turned out to be rotten?
Not all Chinese mother in law are bad, just some of them are bad. Before getting married, you can recognize them good or bad. Most of them treat daughter in law very well as blood daughter
I know it is not all mother-in-laws! Depending on where in China you are also matters. In the village where we live, it is unfortunately very common for the relationships between mother-in-laws and daugther-in-laws to be quite bad. Especially the older generations. But of course not all! My MIL's MIL was terrible, and my MIL decided not to pass that down, and that's what I wanted to show with the video. I know a lot of people here who have wonderful relationships with their mother-in-laws as well. I hope I didn't make it sound like all Chinese MIL's were bad in the video! But the cultural difference too matters, since in rural China where my husband comes from, the daughter in law moves in with the husbands family. That is not as common in bigger cities as far as I know
@@MiriamFollin It is too
complex to explain it in English, so I wrote in Chinese. 婆媳关系这个事情主要是中国的两个传承了几千年的观念的问题。一个是“集体观念”一个是“男主外女主内”。因为集体观念--在乡村往往以姓氏、祠堂、宗族为一个单位产生一个大家庭--导致婆婆和儿子、儿媳相处时间远比西方文化中的MIL时间要长。一个是因为“女主内”从而婆婆一般是一个家庭内部事务的主要评判人。所以导致婆媳矛盾非常多，从而会婆媳紧张。有一点你说的特别好，就是But of course not all! My MIL's MIL was terrible, and my MIL decided not to pass that down, and that's what I wanted to show with the video.很多MIL自己年轻时儿媳的时候受了气，受了欺负，所以到年纪大了之后反过来把这个气传给了儿媳，导致恶性循环。主动跳出这个怪圈很重要。新中国才刚70年，还有很多需要改进需要不断的更新的地方。非常感谢你对中国的信任以及愿意嫁到中国来，而且是相对贫穷的西部！祝生活愉快！有什么想说的希望能更多的沟通！
@@MiriamFollin 这事在山东很严重,其实也还是山东那边的陋习多造成的.其他地方比起山东要好的多.我在四川,我们这边婆媳关系差的反而是少数.而且我们这边大多数父母更不愿意和子女住,是子女非的要父母一起住,帮他们带孩子,做饭等
one cannot make the relation bad between you two. There must be anything wrong from you, more or less.
MIL may or may not bad to their DIL but they love their grand children more than their own son.
The Chinese mother -in -law looks like a very kind hearted woman .
By her eyes when she talks you can tell she's a nice person.
Two beautiful women reflecting mutual respect for one another and care ❤️❤️
None of this is real its all staged. Literally every chinese government made video looks the same and is filmed in the same fashion.
@@Sardiatae
Please do not choose to bury your head in the sand, full of hostility and Prejudice! Don't equate this life video with propaganda! I have lived in China for a period of time, this is the normal life of Chinese people, that's all!
@@赵林-e1y Thank you for your wonderful comment! This was a beautiful portrayal of what A STRONG FAMILY BOND looks like. You could see it in her eyes (the mother in law breaking and almost crying because of her awful memories of emotional abuse and there was nothing fake nor contrived about that. My heart and empathic nature sees ALL! 🙏God Bless ALL THE BEAUTIFUL MOTHERS IN THIS WORLD! ❤️❤️❤️ Stay beautiful
Thank you for such interesting vedio! I am a translator&interpreter in China, more importantly, I am interested in making forerign friends! My Wechat ID is milesahead, add me if you know what Wechat is ~ I'm Stephen, nice to meet all friends!!!
@@Sardiatae I can tell you live a sad and loveless life. Sad sad dad
祝福你们！😊
谢谢！
看到侬我就想到你的father in-law😂😂😂
Asian mother in law (the good one) usually treat their daughter in law just like their own daughter. The bad ones are usually jealous because you "took her son."
Asian parents are depending on their children (mostly son) to take care of them when they're old or when they're sick.
So yes you're married not only the person but also the family.
Same as mexicans.
In every human
My grandma is just like a demon for my auntie (my uncle wife). Grandma literally curse her everyday and insult her. Once a time that my auntie was so sad that she thought about divorce bc she couldn't support anymore...
@@cheng3248 you all need to learn to stick up for one another.
Im sorry not Asian, but specifically Chinese .
Miriam, this is a beautiful story. Your mother-in-law is beautiful and kind. Your video is the only video that I am willing to waste my precious morning hours to watch. Keep up with the good work. You deserve more recognition and subscribers.
Thank you!
Hon verkar så rar din svärmor liksom du...Jag bli glad när jag ser dina videos ..Kram från Västmanlands ❄️💕
Aw, this is so pure. She’s got such a beautiful heart, the both of you have!
Thank you!
She's a really sweet lady. It's great that she has a loving daughter-in-law . . . . and vice versa.
I'm so grateful to have her!
If you want to support me, you can vote for this video in People's Daily Global Short Video Competition "@China". UPDATE! You voted, and we came third! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
Miriam dear, well said. You are married into the family. God bless you, and all of your families in Sweden and China ❤️❤️❤️
clicked the link. i can not find your video. too many video there. if you can specify which video to vote. let me know. cheers. from Sydney Chinese.
Hi Miriam. Downloaded. Then? I searched for "short video competition" but couldn't find your video.
@@boypoppy When you are in the app, you should search for the video competition, "global short video", and then when you are in the page for voting you just search for my name (Miriam) or for 婆媳录。 Thank you for taking the time!
@@hensschr868 Do you use the Chinese version or the English version? If it is the Chinese APP, then you have to search 我与中国投票。If it is the English version it should come up when you search global short video competition, but try just "global short video" and see! Thank you so much for taking the time!
I’m touched by you and your mother in law! really 👍
Dear Miriam
U have such a kind and lovely mother in law.
She is a great cook and a hard working lady.
Can I visit
Haha, sure, I'm sure she will make some really delicious things for you, and I'll assist her if that's OK with you, haha!
May I join too? :)
Let's do it! Haha. That would actually be so nice, to have some subscribers over and serve some lovely food and stories!
I want in too.
@@MiriamFollin Count me in. I am serious. When is the best time to visit next year, preferably before May. I would love to see China country side.
what a sweet relationship. We all can learn something from you, Miriam.
Beautiful 👌 that she broke that repeated cycle of negative behavior versus daughter in law. Bravo.
非常和谐的婆媳关系，你找了个好老公。
Miriam dear, well said. You are married into the family. God bless you, and all of your families in Sweden and China ❤️❤️❤️
How beautiful and lovely to see this. My mum in law was a darling too. How blessed we are!
Awesome husband and his mother same beautiful smiles
Some mother-in-law in China takes her son's wife as her own daughter, but some does not.
I'm so happy mine has!
I'm so happy mine has!
You're telling me Chinese people are humans too and not one big generalization?? Who would've known!
@timothy chung absolutely!
That was a very smart and kind decision your mother in law took concerning her relationship with you. She's amazing. Wish you all the best.
She sure is amazing!
"我有一个不一样的儿媳妇，我就要做一个不一样的婆婆。"
Miriam, you are so lucky and blessed to have such a kind, genuine and compassionate mother-in-law! I'm in awe how your mother-in-law didn't adopt her MIL hatred and discrimination but, instead to welcome you in open arms and spread love! 😍🥰 Your relationship with your mother-in-law is very endearing and just simply beautiful! ❤️
These got me teary ..... she is not only a mother to her son but also Miriam, lovely ☺️
You are so lucky that you are live in China 🇨🇳
You are the best ✨
No wonder you get along with your mother-in-law, you are simply likable, lovable, down to earth and humble, with a genuine character and sincerity. People easily see all of this in you.
Her mother-in-law is also sound innocent, non-judgemental and caring... That's why they two get along very well. It is judgemental MIL who should be avoided.
You’re very fortunate to have a great MIL. I have the worst MIL, she never liked me since the beginning. I’m very nice person in general, but she takes my kindness for granted. She has brung conflict between my husband and I to the point I wanted to divorce him.
To all the mean MIL, despite how your DIL may be ... if she loves your son and willing to give the world to him respect her for that. A good wife doesn’t come around easy.
婆婆很通情达理，明白自己所经历过的事情所以永远是笑脸相迎，去体验最朴实的中国乡村生活
Really touched me deeply! 深受感动！
Me too
This has been the best video to start my day... Full of positiveness. I am so happy for both of you. It takes 2 to make a difference. By understanding each other, you girls have set an excellent example for your future generations by breaking the vicious circle of hatred which often exists between the two most important matriarchs of the family. God bless you!
you are blessed to have such a beautiful mother in law!
You are an amazing person Mirriam.A pearl.Your husband must be very lucky. Hope he knows it!
Yes, your hubby is very fortunate. The most common problem is that the mother-in-law feels you are taking away her son from her and whenever there's any quarrel or differences between the two of them, the son/hubby will be forced to take side. You know how that will end as he can only satisfy one of them.
@@chinpinhon it's not really common though
Happy for you, your mil is so understanding and kind.
米粒是位好女孩無可挑剔的好媳妇，婆婆也是一位善良的人互相才會愉快的融洽相處，永鴻非常有福氣👍👍
Lovely and inspiring...thank you for making my Sunday morning wonderful.
In Brazil we say something like that too: "when you get married, you marry someone's family, not only them."
Any where is the same. In any Asian country, as a South Asian, yes, you marry the whole family not only your partner.
@@sahaniperera3 you always have to look after their parents too especially the mother and in some cases the grandmother too.
@@weetardedcat2112 It is still the same in here. But in our case we are modernizing. Like parents living next door so in case something goes wrong the children can look at them. I mean when married we get a privacy thought.
Same here india..... 😂
@@weetardedcat2112 don't forget, in this case, usually the in laws help out alot too. Also it's filial piety to the family.
Awww. She's lovely. So are you.
u are a kind and lovely woman, hope u can bring us more happiness in the video and best wishes to u and ur family in China
Stifler ,your observation is fully true,
Mariam madam , you r very theoretical and practical .,you r a swedish but you completely embraced asian culture your life and outlooks are textbook of humanity
I love love love this. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for watching!
"I have a special daughter in law. So I will be a special mother in law" should be an idiom
I wish both you and your mother in law would consider putting together a cookbook. She is so wonderful in the kitchen and to teach you everything which in the end is more than food.
"我有一个不一样的儿媳妇，我就要做一个不一样的婆婆。"
Love this sentence.
I wanted to cry and hug her when she spoke about her mother in law. She’s a sweetheart. Send my love to her.
so kind both of you!
omg ..lots of RESPECT your mother in law for breaking the cycle....XOXO
That is a kind soul! Miri she is so sweet! I am sure that she suffered a lot, and she does not want the same
In her late years.
This is so touching.
I hope you helped her heal a little bit. It's a touching story.
Your videos make me so happy. Please don't stop making them! Your family is so loving and amazing
Her kindness and heart really shows, you are both lucky to have each other ❤️
You're so lucky to have a wonderful MIL. Not everyone is so fortunate.
Happy for you..you be blessed with good serounding..😍
I am! Thank you!
That is so sweet. I really enjoy learning things from her as I watch your videos. I had a wonderful mother-in-law as well.
Your both blessed to have each other
Your mother in-law is so sweet. The family accepted you for who you are....PERIOD. That is priceless. Happy for you and your family.
Such a lovely lady, your mother-in-law!
I am surprised that how you stay so positive about everything you are experiencing. You must have forgiven many things off-camera to be where you stand today. I guess that's why many people have tremendous respect for you. A Chinese song for you 好人一生平安！
这位婆婆很有同理心，说到伤心事眼泪都快流下来了，很心疼。希望你们以后的生活能够更加快乐，幸福。
That is just amazing. I cried. She is a very special person. Kudos to you Mama. XO
What a beautiful mother in law you have. I have always dreamed of that in a mother in law...not so fortunate though. But it makes me happy for the both of you. ALOHA
I'm sorry to hear that! If everyone was just kind to one another the world would be a lit nicer to live in! I hope your MIL isn't too bad though!
lovely mother in law.
What a great and wise mother-in-law! 👍❤️
This is so beautiful! I have a special respect for people who decide to break the circle and decide to be the opposite of what they received ❤ you deserve her and her deserve you
My husband is from Sweden and I’m Malaysian Chinese but we are living in Ireland. In one way we are apart from the family then again no conflict. 加油💪
@@lm2193 yup that's an unhealthy relationship
I loved my mother-in-law dearly, although we came from very different backgrounds. I think her love for me was similar although like any "respectable" Chinese, we never expressed our feelings with words. I remember bursting out in an uncontrollable weeping in privacy when she died suddenly 30 years ago. Of course, I am her son-in-law and my wife was her most beloved youngest daughter. We should never stereo-type mothers-in-law, and I truly believe most parents love their children-in-law.
This is so touching. My son is about to Graduate and start working Next year.
I hope i'll have a daughter-in -law like you.
Besides, you are so lucky, came into this family. You must have God's blessing.
Best wishes to you and your family.❤
Besides, you are so lucky came into this family. It must be God's blessing.
你很幸运有个开明的婆婆，其实除了对自己的儿媳好之外，还有一点很重要，就是不要把自己认为的好强加给别人，如果你的婆婆总是尊重你和支持你，那她真的是太棒了！恭喜你有这么幸福的生活
food always brings everyone together
That is so nice! My grandma is the same.. she was not treated well by her mother in law, but she treats my mom better than her own daughters. And same thing, my grandpa treat his son in law better than my dad... whenever the kids visited my grandparents, they made sure that they appreciate all the positive things their daughter and son in laws have done. If they had any suggestions for the couple, they would always say in front of both of them, or their own daughters and son... they also only spoke positively about their kids in law when they in public :)
that is so sweet and kind
You’re so sweet. So is your mom in law. Such a down to earth simple kind hearted lady. You’re very blessed. 💗
How kind your Mother-in-law is. Glad dat u became her Daughter-in-law so dat all the pain will be healed by your relationship. Show her kindness the way she treats u like her own daughter. Dats very blessed to know dat u have such a good relationship wid her. Love it! ❤😊❤👍
congratulate. i am a big fan. another nice video with inspiring narrative. watching ur episode is like reading a piece of beautiful essay. it relax my mind and purify my spirit.
Thank you so much for watching! It means a lot!
Thank you, Miriam, this is very beautiful.
I miss my Mother in Law!!!! I wish she was here!! She also was just like this one here, we cooked!!
That is so lovely to hear you're mother-in-law's story and for her not to be bitter at all. So great!!
Oh my goodness this is pure good energy. We need more people like this in the world
What a dear blessing you are both in each other’s lives. I grateful you both have that. 🙏🏼
Both of you are blessed with each other. What a beautiful relationship.
So nice. Thank you. My mother in law is also great and lovely, she s now 90 y old.
Take well care of her! 💕
I really love your mother in law. Her spirit, love and zest for life really comes through. Her own mother in law didn’t know anything else and was probably treated badly too.
Wow, this had me in tears. You are so lucky to have each other
Oh my god how sweet I got a little teary when your mother expressed her horrible experience with her mother inlaw ❤️
This made me tear up... and hungry.
Good family relationship
I have watched this video( many times)or one related to it where mother in law’s words are not translated , but she had tears so I knew she was sad. This video shared in English. I have gotten tears each time I watch it, I am so very happy for both lady’s. They are leaning from each other & enjoying each other’s company. Mariam has learned so much. The whole family unit, both Chinese & Swedish, are a joy to watch. Now Mariam’s husband has his vlog, hoping that it will soon be in English also.
That’s sweet. Continued happiness in your special relationship
She is a lovely mother and reminds me of my own mom, tears......
Makes for a happy family---when each respects and learns to love future relatives. Sweet story.
So sweet, thank you for sharing your story
Hi, i am Chinese who lives in sweden. Although I am single now, yet my son’s Swedish grandma is the best grandma I can ever asked for. She is so supportive and understanding as your mother in law.
What a touching moment!
Miriam that’s absolutely amazing! I think for many south Asians too (as my parents originated from Bangladesh 🇧🇩) we’ve always seen n have been taught to respect our elders no matter how wrong they may seem at the time. Girls in our family have always been conditioned to marry not only their chosen man but his family too. One of the key people to befriend is your mother Inlaw as she is another important woman in a husband’s life. She needs to learn to trust and believe that her baby son will be taken care of n is happy. For me it took a good few years but now me n my Mil have such a great relationship that she trusts me more than her own son n we share a lot of personal things. My mil is my mother now n I feel blessed that she loves me sooooooo much . ☺️ Wish you all the best hun n keep it real. xx
Aw, that was wonderful.
Your Mother-in-law is so precious! I'm newly subscribed and I just love your videos! So soothing to my soul!
You fit in Chinese life so well. Your mother in law is so nice !
This made me cry. I am so happy for your family and especially you and your mother-in-law. You have the kind of relationship we all hope to and should have; considerate, understanding, kind, respectful and loving. Bravo to your mother-in-law for having the fortitude to endure the previous regime and being of good character to decidedly break the cycle. My story was different. Ex potential Mother-in-law and I are both born and raised in the US as are our parents and grandparents, but we are ethnically different. That was just the beginning. So, although there are long known horror stories about the Chinese mother-in-law, there are also many sad stories about mother-in-laws in general. No matter the ethnicity, country, religion or education level, there can be bad apples on both sides of the divide. Luckily you and she are each blessed with a gem. Best wishes to you all.
Your mom in-law so sweet. Love you guys. Blessings from 🇰🇿
You know you're blessed when your Chinese parents/parents-in-law are determined to break the vicious cycle. So much wisdom and respect in there.
Amazing video! I have heard all the horror stories about mother in laws as well . I think that many people exaggerate that issue! There sure are some difficulties with the different cultures but this is the most normal thing. My mother in law is the most positive and kind person I know ❤️
So true. I guess it's often not only the MIL who is such a bad person but also the daughter in law. Many horror stories begin with two horrible ppl and/or a great misunderstanding.
I didn't have a good relationship with my mother in law but we were both not horrible people. She was just afraid she was going to lose her son to me. With patience, I let her see that I do not want to be his mother, I am OK being his wife. It is very hard to remain nice when you are met with hostility and you do not understand where it is coming from, that is what makes DIL defensive. I was like that, I didn't want to hurt. Instead of losing a son, she gained her daughter and grandchildren. Tales are not exaggerated sometimes and both are not bad people sometimes. This is my experience