Why you can't find a man to marry...

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  • Опубліковано 4 гру 2024

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  • @AnnaBeyOfficial
    @AnnaBeyOfficial  11 місяців тому +123

    Why do you think finding love is so hard today? Let me know in the comments below!
    Tomorrow I'm hosting a 5-day level up bootcamp, start your level up journey with me here: levelupbootcamp.me/

    • @MBAinternetmktg
      @MBAinternetmktg 11 місяців тому +2

      Thank you, Anna! I signed up, looking forward to your bootcamp.

    • @effygram8159
      @effygram8159 11 місяців тому +14

      Lack of morals is a big issue. Perhaps it’s better to seek meaning as happiness is fleeting by nature. It’s only because we have hardships that we can even recognize when we are happy.

    • @gloriajj
      @gloriajj 11 місяців тому +1

      what lipstick are you wearing in this video?

    • @kristenmoonrise
      @kristenmoonrise 11 місяців тому +4

      Most of us weren't taught values or how to vet a partner or be a good partner!

    • @hinkes234
      @hinkes234 11 місяців тому +10

      feminism. destroying the roles was tragic. Men and women are very different in psychology and emotional needs. They don't understand each other anymore.

  • @artanloffler7823
    @artanloffler7823 11 місяців тому +1457

    10 Things Money Can't Buy:
    1. Good manners
    2. Morality
    3. Respect
    4. Character
    5. Common sense
    6. Trust
    7. Patience
    8. Class
    9. Integrity
    10. Love

    • @thehapagirl92
      @thehapagirl92 11 місяців тому +51

      Men have none

    • @slydog81
      @slydog81 11 місяців тому +96

      @@thehapagirl92 Maybe the men you choose to date.

    • @elizabethpace1591
      @elizabethpace1591 11 місяців тому +1

      True.

    • @thayilakshmi
      @thayilakshmi 11 місяців тому +35

      @@thehapagirl92 The men you date have none.

    • @PrincessQ-fj9ly
      @PrincessQ-fj9ly 11 місяців тому +4

      I agree with all of the things you listed here.

  • @theclassyconsultant.
    @theclassyconsultant. 11 місяців тому +515

    My mom says that people have too many options these days. Patience and working through problems is not prioritized enough, everyone just walks away the minute they find someone "better" (even if the other person was great and met their standards).

    • @martinpalm5
      @martinpalm5 10 місяців тому +33

      i would say it has do with never being bored, I'm old enough to remember having a date was the most exciting thing you can do. Now we the internet.. and minds TV shows, and gaming with friends.

    • @kevinbrunswick1564
      @kevinbrunswick1564 10 місяців тому +16

      your mother is a very smart woman

    • @ilariamasullo3353
      @ilariamasullo3353 10 місяців тому +16

      Too many options? I broke up with my ex about 16 months ago and I literally haven't met anyone ever since. Anyone. Where are all these options??? 😂😂

    • @theclassyconsultant.
      @theclassyconsultant. 10 місяців тому

      @@ilariamasullo3353 Online, there are so many people willing to date anyone. However, if you have standards, not everyone is an option, so you're probably doing it right😂

    • @melissakennedy2849
      @melissakennedy2849 10 місяців тому +16

      Your mom is right. There is something beautiful about working through problems together. It brings richness to a relationship and is s sign of maturity and growth as a person. I have found that men who have a relationship with Jesus Christ and are committed to Christian living and personal growth make good partners. I’m not saying they are perfect but they typically value a moral standard that seeks love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, and faithfulness. I have 32 years of marriage to testify that a God fearing man makes a wonderful life long partner. All these things make for a good mate. Remember no one is perfect and there are always exceptions because people are individuals with a free will to make their own decisions. Hope this helps!

  • @ellenanttu
    @ellenanttu 11 місяців тому +1840

    I am 28 years old and I gave up on dating a long time ago and I’m so happy with my choice. I couldn’t find any decent man around me. They all cheated, were rude, lazy, no jobs, no future prospects. I got tired of teaching men how to treat me. I have a degree, a job, financial stability, friends, family, a dog, and travel a lot. I’m genuinely happier now than in any of the relationships I’ve ever been in .

    • @lilifonteno30
      @lilifonteno30 11 місяців тому +78

      same.

    • @KD-up3sz
      @KD-up3sz 11 місяців тому +96

      Sounds amazing. Go girl. 🥰

    • @themissmay
      @themissmay 11 місяців тому +29

      💯

    • @serenadurden
      @serenadurden 11 місяців тому +25

      🔥

    • @user-lt3yb4fm6q
      @user-lt3yb4fm6q 11 місяців тому +158

      I feel the exact same way. Got my life in order, being happy and financially well
      I find that most men who want to date are mainly looking for a place to live, better than the one they have, or someone with money to pay their spending
      They seem great at first, but after 2-3 months it comes to surface that they can't pay their apartment, have a big gambling debt, alcohol habit or something else.
      I am done, just living my best life by myself now 😊

  • @brandyward9677
    @brandyward9677 11 місяців тому +1157

    I found that many men would think texting and emailing counted as dates. They expected to sleep with you as soon as they met in person and would be surprised if you said no. Creepy.

    • @nattie911
      @nattie911 11 місяців тому

      So true! The entitlement of thinking ppl can just send you very sexualy explicit msgs straight from the get-go is sick. Previously I've literally deleted my account after only being on it for 15 mins bc I was getting sexuql msgs. And I don't have any sexual things on my profile or suggestive pics. Luckily now you can report and block ppl. When I first started dating you could only block ppl.
      I'm not a prude, but too much causal sex has caused ppl to have a lack of respect for themselves and their partners.

    • @misswiktoria
      @misswiktoria 11 місяців тому +114

      Sad reality and very scary! This is why meeting in public place is so important. The Universe Guru (Mina) here on YT discussed this so well in one of her recent videos… literally 90% of men on dating apps are dirty predators, there isn’t any nicer way to word it

    • @irina413
      @irina413 11 місяців тому +14

      Exactly

    • @brandyward9677
      @brandyward9677 11 місяців тому +38

      @perspective917
      That us a tough one. I certainly don't know how to go about it.
      Women are very gun shy now. We have been shot down so many times, when we find a guy as you describe yourself as, we are hard to convince. You WILL find her. You just may have to teach her that she is safe with you. Sorry, I wish it was never this way.
      May you be blessed with such a great woman for such a great man as yourself.

    • @softsophisticate
      @softsophisticate 10 місяців тому

      @@perspective917 Coming up for my 30 year wedding anniversary this year so here goes.........You need Chemistry too, that little spark, a certain natural something about you that a woman will like, you can't force it as all women are different. Maybe it is your natural smell, your smile, your voice, your manly hands, how she feels around you etc. and attraction is always subtly conveyed via the eyes. In a confident woman look for the twinkle, hair twirling, girly laughter, in a shy woman, the shy glance away. Look for the subtle signs. If you go straight in and ask for a date without checking out her subtle signs that she is interested, no wonder you are disappointed. Keep an eye out for that woman who keeps looking at you. She can't keep her eyes off of you. She wants to communicate her soul to you via her eyes. When you catch her looking, don't look away. She will likely look away and look back again, if she does, smile. Keep looking and see what happens. My husband and I still communicate through our eyes :) In the old days women had fans to flirt with, it was all very subtle and about flirting via the eyes and the fans were held in certain ways to convey messages if interested . Dating Apps have taken away the fun and subtlty. At the same time, don't try so hard, you sound like a catch but there has to be chemistry. Continue to ask women out, as you never know, but be kind and courteous to the women, not a pushover though, and eventually you may find one woman in particular who can't take her eyes off of you, better yet, you can't take your eyes off of her either. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy was attracted by Miss Bennet's "fine set of eyes". I think it was because they sparkled with joie de vivre. She wasn't going to settle for any man, she was going to marry for love, and so she did. But to a man she detested to start with, but his good character (and wealth) eventually changed her mind.

  • @LadyBugz108
    @LadyBugz108 10 місяців тому +333

    I met my boyfriend on Bumble. My friend met hers on Tinder. Finding love online is possible. Make sure to follow these safety tips until you feel like you can trust the man.
    1. Always meet in public.
    2. Do not meet at his house nor allow him to pick you up from your house.
    3. Do not sit in the car with him alone.
    4. High value men are respectful and virtuous. If he starts talking about sex early on, then he's disqualified. These men are creepy.

    • @hiannahgus574
      @hiannahgus574 10 місяців тому +1

      A male friend of mine said that that ANY mention of sex in the first date or two is a test of your reaction and your boundaries. He is testing you to see how far he can push you to get sex and whether you will say no. Men like the chase, the challenge. Say “ yes” too early and you lose value in his eyes, because he feels that you could be saying yes to every man. You therefore aren’t special.

    • @LadyBugz108
      @LadyBugz108 10 місяців тому +13

      @hiannahgus574 If the man is testing this, then I wonder how virtuous he is as well. Usually respectful men don't get sexual early on. Red flag to me. Maybe don't kick him to the curb yet, but watch him carefully.

    • @CoryPlaysDrums
      @CoryPlaysDrums 9 місяців тому +3

      I just about always do this. Dates have gone well, but lately I have been stood up and ghosted the last few times. Any insight on why girls plan a date then bail on those situations?

    • @onlythehocine
      @onlythehocine 9 місяців тому +1

      😂 okay okay !!! I was close to believing you 😂😂😂 ...

    • @ilsedemolder3973
      @ilsedemolder3973 8 місяців тому

      @@onlythehocine What do you mean? Believed what?

  • @alandrahartmann6437
    @alandrahartmann6437 11 місяців тому +706

    I met my husband on a dating app at a time that I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was so sick of toxic dating apps that I have up. I basically went to get a free meal (he is aware of this) and was like “this is how I am and this is what I want and if you don’t like it then I’m not for you”. Apparently he liked that as he was tired of games and not knowing what he was getting. 10 years later here we are still.

    • @judithblue81
      @judithblue81 11 місяців тому +93

      Dating apps have changed drastically from 10 years ago. They are money traps for people looking for love

    • @sibymiller
      @sibymiller 11 місяців тому +34

      I love this! I did the same in July 2020, we met on Tinder. He proposed in December and we got married in January 2021. Is up to you to find the right men for you. You just have to, like Anna said, date away! 😅 date many men at the same time (for dinner or lunch ONLY). It is a job that you are looking to fulfill, chose the best candidate.

    • @sararichardson737
      @sararichardson737 11 місяців тому +1

      I love it.

    • @manasac3102
      @manasac3102 11 місяців тому +13

      lol so many of us women already did that already, plus dating was quite different 10 years back, apps started getting widely popular since around 2016 only

    • @kandelika2902
      @kandelika2902 11 місяців тому +14

      What we can learn from you? Say what you want directly. He can "take it or leave it". Very good advice, thanks.

  • @linswins4292
    @linswins4292 11 місяців тому +393

    Dating apps and social media in general present the illusion of endless options but once you actually explore, you realise the dating pool is empty and quite time consuming. Unless you just want to sleep around, then dating apps are for you. But for those who want a life partner, it’s a lot harder

    • @kristenmoonrise
      @kristenmoonrise 11 місяців тому +28

      Yep out of like 30 men who may swipe right maybe 2 are worth talking to.

    • @IntegrityMeansAll
      @IntegrityMeansAll 11 місяців тому +31

      Way too dangerous and risky and full of down low guys

    • @demarcusds95
      @demarcusds95 11 місяців тому +11

      Time consuming for sure!

    • @galrose7165
      @galrose7165 10 місяців тому +6

      Yeah, kinda sucks that the super successful and attractive men we select just sleep around and don't commit.. it's a huge waste of time, we'll never find a guy who is faithful.

    • @ellen5276
      @ellen5276 10 місяців тому +11

      I always laugh at men who end good relationships because they think there is this great sea of options - what a silly thing to fall for. The grass is definitely not greener.

  • @alessandracampelli6090
    @alessandracampelli6090 11 місяців тому +279

    Online dating feels like objectification of human beings, to me this is the worst thing to meet and treat humans

    • @Planckpudding
      @Planckpudding 11 місяців тому +29

      I agree it’s sexual marketing

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 10 місяців тому

      They bring the worst traits in human. Shallowness, lust and lack of intelligence and communication skills. Definitely not a place for someone who's searching for a serious commitment

    • @Cococokieful
      @Cococokieful 10 місяців тому +1

      People become the tools of their tools. Lol!

    • @paulinejackson5861
      @paulinejackson5861 10 місяців тому

      Men need to stop treating women like sexual objects.

    • @happym3008
      @happym3008 8 місяців тому +2

      Yes
      I stil
      Pray to meet a natural way

  • @user-ln2kr4gq7y
    @user-ln2kr4gq7y 11 місяців тому +223

    I feel like this also applies to friendships. Nowadays very few people want to invest time and effort to build up and nurture friendships and real connections. Somehow friendships became too "available", meeting new people all the time, meeting a lot of people but with the goal of having another connection on social media rather than a lifelong relationship.😢

    • @Ana_Cecilia615
      @Ana_Cecilia615 10 місяців тому +23

      True. Everyone adopted the myths,
      * "Friends come and go."
      * "You're only as good as the people you hang out with."
      * "It's lonely at the top."
      These are attitudes of a broken society, where we treat everyone we meet as disposable contingent upon how useful they are to us. The word narcissism is a buzz word for a reason right now. We all have evolved into the narcissism of social media, and as a result, fewer people are having strong, healthy connections around them.
      But it is never too late to realize this and adjust ourselves accordingly. I've been off instagram and Facebook for several months now as a detox project at first. Now I'm loving the lightness of my thoughts and the renewal for reading books as enjoyment. I've decided to keep it away all together and explore more positive building habits. I have hope.

    • @2cut32handle
      @2cut32handle 10 місяців тому +7

      @@Ana_Cecilia615 Your comment has given me hope that there are still some sane people left in this world ❤

    • @Cococokieful
      @Cococokieful 10 місяців тому

      All the touch and go lol

    • @Addielp
      @Addielp 8 місяців тому +6

      Omg exactly how I feel… I hear ppl complaining about not having friends yet they can’t compromise a little bit of their time to develop a friendship 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql
    @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql 10 місяців тому +96

    People lost morals and values; loyalty and decency are gone; our society is incredibly childish

    • @RunDLC
      @RunDLC 7 місяців тому +1

      Right? So sad.

    • @SartorialisticSavage65
      @SartorialisticSavage65 7 місяців тому

      But not women. 😊😊😊

    • @loveisthemostpowerfulforce1397
      @loveisthemostpowerfulforce1397 6 місяців тому +2

      I'm childish too but at least I'm doing my best to change that, and I've seen results.

    • @ElluxMacron
      @ElluxMacron 15 днів тому

      Exactly. These women dont act like ladies, they act like little entitled girls

  • @MysticaFaery
    @MysticaFaery 11 місяців тому +606

    Being Swedish, the trend here is cohabiting and never marrying. A sad state of things. Having found faith eased my desperate energy and newfound strength to stand by my ideals. Still, looking for people with similar worldview is tough. 🇸🇪🤔

    • @eeaotly
      @eeaotly 11 місяців тому +159

      Cohabiting and never marrying sounds like children who are not really convinced they want to mature but they still dream of being adults.

    • @sarahkennedy1481
      @sarahkennedy1481 11 місяців тому +53

      I am a born again Christian looking over 25 years for a Christian male match

    • @KRKimbler
      @KRKimbler 11 місяців тому +17

      Same here in the U.S.

    • @happygolucky9004
      @happygolucky9004 11 місяців тому +23

      I wonder if that's because the Nordic countries have a lot of social programs to give money to parents. It takes away the incentive to get married.

    • @payattention31
      @payattention31 11 місяців тому +14

      @@sarahkennedy1481Maybe check Christian dating sites?

  • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
    @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 11 місяців тому +288

    Excellent video! Yes, I do see problems in modern dating because both men and women have unrealistic expectations for a partner AND have an overinflated opinion of themselves, and they confuse “settling” and “compromise”.
    “Compromise” means that you have a list of requirements for an ideal partner, but you pick some things that are negotiable while some things are dealbreakers. “Settling” means that you’ll just take any partner so you’re not alone, regardless of how toxic that partner is or how much you dislike that partner. A very small percentage of people on this earth are at the elite level (men with the 3-6s or women with the 3-Bs) - 90% of people on this earth have to compromise to not end up alone.

    • @annakarina8417
      @annakarina8417 11 місяців тому +17

      I don't know where are you from, but these days in many places in Europe unrealistic standard is wanting to get married not just dating for 5 years or more. When you add to this waiting to have sex till engagemt or God forbid marriage(!) the it makes it more unrealistic and when you add to this wanting to be stay at home mom to raise your kids fully by yourself then well.. Totally u realistic today. I'm in my mid 30s and I was only in two serious relationship with middle eastern men which sadly didn't work out due to mostly cultural differences and religion. I was never in relationship with white guy, especially never with one from my country, except dating. I'm not picky, I don't want millioner, I don't need travels, I don't need luxury, I don't need man to be tall or handsome. But standards I mentioned above (wanting marriage after 1,2 years max., be STHM, and sex only after engagement - I don't tell men this, but they just don't want to wait) is too much for a white European man.

    • @kimberlys347
      @kimberlys347 11 місяців тому +9

      perfectly said and I think I've been confusing the two (compromise vs settling) for a long time. This is really helpful. Sorry I'm out of the loop, what are the 3 Bs for women??

    • @ioanafilipescu2327
      @ioanafilipescu2327 11 місяців тому +1

      This comment is VERY VERY TRUE

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 11 місяців тому +9

      @@kimberlys347 3-Bs in women can mean “beauty, brains, body” or “beauty, brains, bank”.

    • @vklnew9824
      @vklnew9824 11 місяців тому +5

      ​@@annakarina8417 you let migrants pass you around?

  • @gnd333
    @gnd333 11 місяців тому +301

    The customer service analogy is 100% accurate 😂 well said Anna! I’m 25 and have given up on dating apps, I’m doing my best to try new things and try to meet someone naturally 🤞🏼

    • @Julieta998
      @Julieta998 11 місяців тому +6

      ES LO MEJOR.

    • @IntegrityMeansAll
      @IntegrityMeansAll 11 місяців тому +27

      Pretty much all guys on dating apps are down low and definitely not worth it

    • @rosewatersweettea
      @rosewatersweettea 11 місяців тому +17

      @@IntegrityMeansAll Bingo. They’re on those apps for years too because nobody wants them.

    • @IntegrityMeansAll
      @IntegrityMeansAll 10 місяців тому +3

      @@rosewatersweettea 💯💯

    • @_ladiosanegra
      @_ladiosanegra 10 місяців тому +2

      its 100% over for your age😹if you do find a man you ahve to compete in wardrobe and nailpolish and earrings 😹

  • @King_Kassie
    @King_Kassie 10 місяців тому +143

    The problem I have been encountering is that men want all the rewards with zero effort. I meet a guy and immediately he’s talking about sex and asking for photos 🤮 I’m completely burnt out by dating

    • @carultch
      @carultch 10 місяців тому +25

      That's because perusing one person with effort, has been replaced with casting a wider net. Evidently, someone else will respond to that behavior, and reward that behavior, which is why the men are doing that. Pursuing one person with effort is not rewarded. Casting a wider net is rewarded.

    • @HosCreates
      @HosCreates 10 місяців тому

      eww! men lately are such creepos!

    • @ssheikty2259
      @ssheikty2259 9 місяців тому +2

      Ayyyy that guy doesn't know what know real love I am male I hate it I respect woman of color

    • @alexryan43244
      @alexryan43244 7 місяців тому

      @@carultch but don't you think woman are responsible for hook up culture

    • @Herozonex200
      @Herozonex200 7 місяців тому

      You literally describe what the definition of a bad boy. All they want is sex lol. Theres plenty of good men that arent like that. Dont go to clubs or bars to look for those types of men.

  • @elinat2414
    @elinat2414 11 місяців тому +90

    I would say dating is also harder because of the breakdown of extended friendship, family and community networks. In the past, even people that married for love, usually met their partner through their friends, family or other social activities (e.g. church, local dances etc). Until about 60 years ago, randomly coming up to a stranger at a coffee shop or a grocery store was not the standard way to meet your significant other.
    Today, we spend much more time online than we do within our wider community. So for better or worse, it's completely normal for dating to have turned digital.

    • @HosCreates
      @HosCreates 10 місяців тому +4

      I met my husband at social event hosted by a church leader . I would have never met him one on one without it because of his introverted nature . Our congregation had 200 singles in a meat market and it was crazy .

    • @noire9601
      @noire9601 7 місяців тому +1

      Facts

  • @chefnic4763
    @chefnic4763 11 місяців тому +132

    We've become desensitized as a people due to technology. I people watch all the time. I see couples, families and friends at dinner and no one is talking. Everyone is scrolling on their phones. No intimacy. No bonding. Nothing. It's really sad. This generation is very cold. Ladies, please don't settle. Real connections are out there. ❤️

    • @kristenmoonrise
      @kristenmoonrise 11 місяців тому +16

      You're so right. I went out on a date on NYE and saw a couple at the next table sitting across from one another just scrolling their phones. My date and I were sitting side by side looking outwards, people watching while eating and our phones stayed off the table. It was weird to watch the other couple. Why even go out if you don't seem to enjoy one another's company?

    • @chefnic4763
      @chefnic4763 11 місяців тому +3

      @@kristenmoonrise exactly

    • @SarahBaker-q9k
      @SarahBaker-q9k 9 місяців тому

      Technology is killing us. And the rest of the planet.

    • @erikjohnson8031
      @erikjohnson8031 9 місяців тому +2

      No, this generation is NOT innovative.
      They use the inventions that my generation, Gen X invented.

    • @stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax
      @stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax 7 місяців тому +1

      Thank you. I'm trying not to lose hope.

  • @jahsdiary
    @jahsdiary 11 місяців тому +257

    I’m 22 and I feel like dating just gets harder the older I get,I deleted the dating apps and when I go out in public I don’t be on my phone,and a lot of men are in their feminine energy and want women to approach them. Also I’ve been leveling up and working on myself.

    • @breannaw7254
      @breannaw7254 11 місяців тому +68

      Men wanting to be approached always struck me as a strange phenomenon, I'm curious about what a man's perspective on it is since it doesn't seem enjoyable for them either

    • @payattention31
      @payattention31 11 місяців тому

      @@breannaw7254Agreed. My husband approached me first. And I enjoyed that. I want my man to be interested in me.

    • @serenadurden
      @serenadurden 11 місяців тому +2

      Power to you

    • @alexsmith-ob3lu
      @alexsmith-ob3lu 11 місяців тому

      I’m a young dude who watches Anna Bey videos every so often on old fashioned ideals. She has some interesting content compared with “Hoe_Math” and other creators.
      There are many factors, but here is what I’ve never dated as a 24 year old dude.
      1) Personal finances. In a marriage, a man needs to be the bread winner and when the government is constantly destroying men wages (taxation and inflation), then that makes it almost impossible for any young dude to ask a young woman out.
      2) Decline in men physical health. Here in the States, most men are morbidly obese or very overweight. I personally have no weight issues, and take care of my health (as do my fellow friends). However, there are many chemical disrupters, toxic food and birth control in the drinking water affecting men health and making your average man physically weaker.
      3) Demographic decline. If you live in the USA, we have an inverted population pyramid. For every 1 young person, you’ll have 30 old people in their 50s. I work in the skilled trades, earn decent money, but everyone around from office staff to engineering to management are all 40+ years old.

    • @salomeyul
      @salomeyul 11 місяців тому +30

      Girlll wait until you get to your 30s :D

  • @ThoughtsToReality9999
    @ThoughtsToReality9999 11 місяців тому +312

    Im exactly what Anna said. I’d rather stay single FOREVER than settle with a man who isn’t on my level, or doesnt match my basic requirements both physical and emotional.

    • @kimberlys347
      @kimberlys347 11 місяців тому +80

      better high quality singleness than a low quality marriage.

    • @ThoughtsToReality9999
      @ThoughtsToReality9999 11 місяців тому +1

      @@kimberlys347 exactly 🪻🌷

    • @ravanjanae
      @ravanjanae 11 місяців тому +9

      Yasss same ❤

    • @anacorona2527
      @anacorona2527 11 місяців тому +16

      Exactly. A beautiful life of being single, pampering ourselves.

    • @raazyah
      @raazyah 11 місяців тому +22

      Better single than a miserable marriage!

  • @jordinlee4908
    @jordinlee4908 11 місяців тому +120

    My best friend has two daughters in their early twenties. Beautiful and accomplished, they have never had a steady boyfriend. I find it ironic that as a 61 year old woman, I have a long-term boyfriend. He is 56. Men my age grew up without the Internet and, in my experience, know how to court women. They value, understand, and appreciate relationships, and, have the patience to cultivate them. My boyfriend is my passionate best friend. I truly feel for the younger generation.

    • @peregrination3643
      @peregrination3643 11 місяців тому +26

      I've found it odd how my generation (thirties), I've rarely seen "gentlemanly" basic gestures, and it's always from a guy who has had a long-term girlfriend, if not a wife and family. It's like the women are teaching the skill now instead of being wooed by it. But men of previous generations are always polite to me. Which really bums me out, because the simple courtesies from my age group are actually the only things that I've felt romantically responsive to. It also makes me wonder how maybe the stereotype of older family members playing match maker made a big difference with meeting someone in the first place.

    • @costenaensiliconvalley
      @costenaensiliconvalley 11 місяців тому +12

      Unfortunately men after 50 years old are contaminated w this new online dating situation. Is sooo difficult to find a good man at any age nowadays 😒😒

    • @rosewatersweettea
      @rosewatersweettea 11 місяців тому

      My boyfriend is 51 so I know what you mean. There’s no way I’ll marry a man close to my age, they act like women!

    • @piotr004
      @piotr004 10 місяців тому

      As a young man (29), I find all your replies typical bs of women. All you can do is demanding from men and seeing only men's flaws. "Men my age grew up without the Internet and, in my experience, know how to court women. They value, understand, and appreciate relationships, and, have the patience to cultivate them." - yea, sure, everything is men's fault, obviously today's women are not faulty at all, they don't spit on men (ekhm, woke, feminism, me too, Amber Heard vs. Johnny Deep, robbing men on divorces)...

    • @piotr004
      @piotr004 10 місяців тому

      @@peregrination3643 It's women who killed chivalry. Who should be men chivalrous for? Continue be woke, feminist, cry about men being "toxic" all the time... Your comment is typical female bs, like women didn't change at all, and everything always only men's fault.

  • @SunIsSunnySunnyIsSunny
    @SunIsSunnySunnyIsSunny 11 місяців тому +225

    As a single gal, I'd love it if guys approached, all they do is stare and it's so frustrating as I want to be with a guy who has cultivated the art of courage- feeling the fear and saying hello anyway. Ditto on leaving the house to actually meet real people, it's something I have to work on.

    • @Icewing10
      @Icewing10 11 місяців тому +1

      Nowadays men are called creeps and labeled as sexual harassers, why they don't approach.

    • @lairofdionysus1943
      @lairofdionysus1943 11 місяців тому +51

      Only because you don't want to do any legwork or take any risks. It's clear that this will only translate into the relationship too, where the Man is always expected to do things. Expect to never get approached and for things to never change, because Men are done with this nonsense.

    • @ayomibh
      @ayomibh 11 місяців тому +26

      Most guys are scarred already so , don't blame em too much

    • @judithblue81
      @judithblue81 11 місяців тому +30

      @@lairofdionysus1943 you approaching a woman you are attracted to will do what? Be prepared to not have the woman you want for a long time

    • @claudiavalencia2322
      @claudiavalencia2322 11 місяців тому +17

      Look at them and smile

  • @mariag2916
    @mariag2916 11 місяців тому +73

    Because people are far too shallow and self-absorbed. Grass is always greener, it's never too late to change your life etc. People have lost a set of values we once had more of.

  • @tennilledebysingh5819
    @tennilledebysingh5819 11 місяців тому +69

    I stopped online dating a few years ago, I'm open to natural dating. Living my best life as an emotionally healthy, grounded, stable person and professional is how I believe it will happen for me. I've also done personal work and without that I woud be miles behind. I'm also happy, I dont have negativity around men and relationships,or much else in life, I have positive expectations, I'm not desperate ,worried or stressed about the timing. I think perspective and outlook is a large part of the outcome.

    • @2cut32handle
      @2cut32handle 10 місяців тому +6

      I totally agree with you. I used to be the type that would be looking for a man everywhere I go even if it's just a local library. That's how desperate I was but it yielded me NO results. Now I have shifted my mindset to just enjoy every moment of my life & just going out for fun rather than being in hopes of meeting a man. Now, my life is much better & I feel more free

  • @kinndah2519
    @kinndah2519 11 місяців тому +87

    The best advice I can offer is to make sure of these 3 things:
    1.) Equal Attraction
    2.) Shared values (not beliefs but values)
    3.) You actually LIKE each other.
    It may seem basic, but trust me when these 3 things are in order, you're more likely to be willing to work on everything else. You'll also be more willing to let the petty things go. You're more prone to building a friendship and all the factors a quality friendship/bond entails.

    • @klarapetrijevcanin
      @klarapetrijevcanin 10 місяців тому +5

      I'm def having problems with the first one.

    • @Jayfinance92
      @Jayfinance92 10 місяців тому

      This is what women in the hood do. Doesn't matter if you are a criminal, in and out of jail, abuser or whatever. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, she'll call it "working through" as a justification to stay with you. Game is everything.

    • @inexpertxennial6067
      @inexpertxennial6067 9 місяців тому +1

      Beliefs and values are closely related but distinct concepts:
      Beliefs:
      Beliefs are convictions or acceptance that something is true, real, or exists.
      They are often formed based on personal experiences, cultural upbringing, education, and exposure to various influences.
      Beliefs can be about a wide range of topics, including religious, political, scientific, or personal matters.
      Beliefs can be subject to change over time as new information is acquired or as individuals reassess their perspectives.
      Values:
      Values, on the other hand, refer to the principles, standards, or qualities that individuals or groups consider important and desirable.
      They guide behavior and decision-making by providing a framework for evaluating actions and choices.
      Values are deeply ingrained and influence attitudes, priorities, and goals.
      While beliefs may focus on what is true or real, values focus on what is considered morally or ethically right.
      Values are typically more stable and enduring than beliefs, forming the foundation of one's character and identity.
      In essence, beliefs are about what we perceive to be true or factual, while values are about what we consider to be important and worthy of pursuit in life.

  • @Cheyannesorelle
    @Cheyannesorelle 11 місяців тому +41

    You have to narrow it down to someone who has the same values as you and are on the same level. You have to play it fair and be yourself. The issue is online dating apps offer never ending choices and everyone thinks the next date will be better or they‘ll find someone better. And you’ll never get to know someone properly with that mindset. You need to actually bother getting to know them, make time for them and let it naturally go from there. But people want it all too fast and easy these days…

  • @carolinesposto2946
    @carolinesposto2946 11 місяців тому +25

    Fabulous! Over the years, I have loved seeing your channel evolve to include social commentary. In my opinion, what you say in videos along these lines is far more worthwhile than anything you might say about leveling up with fashion. I hope you continue in this direction. Let your intellect shine!

  • @sunflowermood829
    @sunflowermood829 11 місяців тому +133

    This video was literally what I needed it just came out after I closed my online dating app and was wondering if what I'm doing is even worth it

    • @Lanafox1020
      @Lanafox1020 11 місяців тому

      I agree! Apps like Instagram, Tik Tok etc, have changed the monkey mind of many and have made them delusional, and the past 5 years had made it worst! Now they think regular women or men(but most of the time men) think we should now look like the filters or AI character in real life lol, it has become a laughable circus 😂

    • @suzycanfly
      @suzycanfly 11 місяців тому +8

      Just did the same exact thing yesterday. Deleted all my apps. I'm going to try the au natural way. When she said just go to places and don't look down at your cell (i do this sometimes), but just observe people make eye contact, that gave me an idea. I'm a bit shy but I know I can do it. I think I have a plan lol. I hope u find a plan that works for you!!! Whether it be online or au natural, don't give up! ❤❤❤❤

    • @sunflowermood829
      @sunflowermood829 10 місяців тому

      thank you! @@suzycanfly I think I will still try my luck online, but not with dating apps but things where you can connect through a common interest online and in real life too. I think that also feels more natural than dating apps, they feel so inauthentic in a way if you know what I mean. Also good luck to you I hope you find your prince charming haha

    • @suzycanfly
      @suzycanfly 10 місяців тому +2

      @softsophisticate Thank you so much! Lol XD you made me blush. Happy flirting to you too! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

    • @Mark-in8ju
      @Mark-in8ju 6 місяців тому +1

      20:10 Repeal the 19th

  • @shandhaula
    @shandhaula 11 місяців тому +25

    Add the will of a personal career for women as we don't want to be let down with NOTHING at 50 for a 20 years-old chick or after cancer. History.
    Add easy. access to prnography destroying relationships.
    Add mental diseases (crazy violent partners, sociopaths rising).

  • @kara_keegan_2242
    @kara_keegan_2242 11 місяців тому +50

    I feel ao discouraged to even try to find someone outside dating apps bcs you never get approached by guys naturally anymore and they are all so feminine now, but im more scared of always being alone and never finding someone while everyone else around me is magically finding their one

    • @milaaanx4231
      @milaaanx4231 11 місяців тому

      You’re so right about men being feminine. I think it’s the culture. - men constantly get told that they have “toxic masculinity” for basic manly things they’re doing. Seems like they can’t even enjoy doing “manly activities” without being called out. Society is forcing men to be feminine, sadly. Leaves barely any “real” men out there.

    • @rosewatersweettea
      @rosewatersweettea 11 місяців тому +9

      Join a club, get a hobby and don’t spend your weekends indoors

    • @juliettejuliette-bf8df
      @juliettejuliette-bf8df 10 місяців тому +1

      I hear you ❤

    • @ernestkhalimov748
      @ernestkhalimov748 10 місяців тому +2

      Nothing wrong with being alone

    • @ilsedemolder3973
      @ilsedemolder3973 8 місяців тому

      ​@@ernestkhalimov748Maybe for you. She clearly is not happy with being alone her whole life and that is perfectly okay.

  • @kerryhorwitz4093
    @kerryhorwitz4093 10 місяців тому +36

    From time to time, I have been required to advise female friends in getting a man. Given that I am a self-confessed list woman, I would first get out pen and paper. I would then ask the woman to tell me what they are looking for in a man. Reams of paper and an hour or so later, we had an exhaustive list. I would then ask the friend to tell me what sort of woman _that_ man would be looking for...
    Crickets.
    It had never even occurred to the woman to consider this.
    A simplistic example. If a man has political aspirations, he needs an intelligent woman who shares his political values. He also needs her to dress and present well in addition to immaculate good manners. A woman who curses, gets drunk, wears promiscuous style clothing, and who thinks gerrymandering is a football player need not apply.
    If you are currently yelling that what you want is the only relevant matter, yell on....
    It is what it is.

    • @ernestkhalimov748
      @ernestkhalimov748 10 місяців тому

      Could you elaborate a bit more?

    • @jasmine_milkyflower
      @jasmine_milkyflower 10 місяців тому +7

      So true. I meet many women who know what they want but don't even consider what this kind of man would need from them.

    • @kerryhorwitz4093
      @kerryhorwitz4093 10 місяців тому

      @@ernestkhalimov748 The reasoning behind it is complex, but modern women have very little concern about the needs of men. Another example, is boyfriends who don't like their girlfriends to do OnlyFans are often described as "controlling" or other negative names. Does a man not have a perfect right to not want the (perhaps) future mother of his children to publicly remove her clothes and perform se*ual acts with men online for money?
      Girls who do por*ography and/or pros*tuition should be warned about how damaging it is, not just shifting the moral blame onto men.
      Many young women want to marry, but have absolutely zero respect for men and their needs.
      Have I answered your question? May I ask what your views are on the points I have made?

    • @crazyhegemon9638
      @crazyhegemon9638 8 місяців тому +1

      Awesome comment! Crickets....

    • @hoobeydoobey1267
      @hoobeydoobey1267 6 місяців тому

      Well said!

  • @edena2769
    @edena2769 11 місяців тому +148

    I am 62, and I HATE dating apps. Never again.
    100% scammers .

  • @LucianaCristinadeOliveira
    @LucianaCristinadeOliveira 11 місяців тому +56

    My biggest problem is actually meeting men in person. I had only three dates in 2023. So hard to leave dating app to sit on a table. Troublesome.

    • @nicolaaszeven
      @nicolaaszeven 10 місяців тому +12

      Three in one year? That is a great score!

    • @jessicahitchens6926
      @jessicahitchens6926 7 місяців тому

      No it's not.. its terrible.

    • @omotayosatuyi252
      @omotayosatuyi252 5 місяців тому

      The date doesn't always have to be getting coffee or getting something to eat make the date something that both of you will enjoy

    • @Jay-ef2ii
      @Jay-ef2ii 5 місяців тому

      @@nicolaaszeven She is probably very picky! June 2024 USA

  • @christianaal.9761
    @christianaal.9761 11 місяців тому +43

    I love this kind of video where you dive into social problems and share your opinion on them.

  • @did4999
    @did4999 11 місяців тому +44

    I met a man online and after 2-3 weeks chat we decided to meet. We had 2 live meeting and they were just amazing. He looks as enjoining my company and talked and walk long. After the secound date he stopped the communication with me. With no explanation and no obvious reason. I was shoked. Very demotivating

    • @lairofdionysus1943
      @lairofdionysus1943 11 місяців тому

      Women have been doing this to Men for decades, and 95% of Women do it. Now you're finally getting a taste of what it feels like to be a Man and what we go through. I have no sympathy. Enjoy it.

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 10 місяців тому

      Most men there only want to pump and dump easily

    • @lubazak636
      @lubazak636 10 місяців тому +17

      Some people are afraid of commitment, are afraid of being emotionally involved. His behavior has nothing to do with you, most likely.

    • @PM-jm5km
      @PM-jm5km 10 місяців тому

      @@lubazak636 No, looks like he found another

    • @venusbby
      @venusbby 10 місяців тому +8

      He probably wasn’t ready to go exclusive or serious, maybe he felt the same way but he didn’t wanna go steady yet

  • @amandamadaci7797
    @amandamadaci7797 11 місяців тому +8

    It was strangely soothing listening to you talking about a topic I'm almost not interested in at all. But now I think about the guy I met last year that looks like I will never see again and my heart cries

  • @AkikoMakiOfficial
    @AkikoMakiOfficial 9 місяців тому +6

    I have always favored the idea of meeting people in person. There are a number of times that I have met someone who initially would not be the type I’d be drawn to, only to find that they were funny or very fun to be with and then the ice is broken and a relationship has time to bud. It is so hard to judge a book by it’s cover. Dark hair, dark eyes and a touch of color to the skin is my type but, some fair skinned, blonde, blue eyed women have won me over with their charm. ❤

  • @PrincessQ-fj9ly
    @PrincessQ-fj9ly 11 місяців тому +29

    This was a very interesting topic to discuss. And it's very important to discuss it. Too often, both men and women are spoiled for choice. And when things don't seem to be working out, instead of trying to find a solution, they just start looking for a way out and find someone better. Far easier than just working on the relationship, but they don't realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and you'll never really understand how great you have it until what you have is gone. The online dating doesn't really help matters.

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 11 місяців тому +1

      You are correct. With online dating, it’s easier to trade in the date because there are 5 other people waiting to date that individual.

    • @ryuhoshi3419
      @ryuhoshi3419 7 місяців тому

      Only a very small percentage of so called high value men have abundance... Most men don't really have much choice

  • @mepulley7913
    @mepulley7913 11 місяців тому +9

    Thank You so much for your definition of "settling". I came to a similar definition as I got older and came to realize my needs getting met was more important than "packaging".

  • @kaunas888
    @kaunas888 9 місяців тому +58

    Don't expect perfection if you are not perfect yourself.

  • @XeniaMinakov
    @XeniaMinakov 11 місяців тому +27

    I really enjoy the direction you are taking with your content. Thank you for talking about the deeper topics! 💞

  • @MyDanymax
    @MyDanymax 11 місяців тому +88

    I was on some online dating apps for two years 5 years ago. My experience was somehow good, as I learned to know more the character of these men who actually want nothing but sex and money.....
    There were several that I personally met and not one of them were exactly what they mentioned in their profiles.
    I decided to cancel all the apps and would never do it again. I'd rather be *single* *forever* and I'm happy this way. However good luck ladies, but be extra careful.

    • @payattention31
      @payattention31 11 місяців тому +7

      À girlfriend of mine was going on APPs to date and she was in there 50s at that moment and she complained about man wanting sex mostly and or a sugar mommy. Good luck to you too.

  • @claudiaa.999
    @claudiaa.999 11 місяців тому +31

    I met a guy online and went on a date with him. Before meeting, I had no expectations (he didn’t seem my type) but still wanted to give him a try. I ended up liking him a lot, although he was 15 years older while I'm 24 and inexperienced, but one day out of nowhere he told me he still talked to his toxic ex often (and the girl looked eerily similar to me, just older) and I realised he was emotionally unavailable. He tried gaslighting me into staying in this situationship but I still respectfully walked away, although it hurt. I know I deserve better than being played, but still... Not even having no expectations is enough these days.

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому

      A similar thing hapenned to me. I learned my lesson.

    • @PM-jm5km
      @PM-jm5km 10 місяців тому +5

      You need someone your own age

    • @jessicahitchens6926
      @jessicahitchens6926 7 місяців тому +3

      Any mature man talking to a young 24 year old isn't emotionally available or mature. Probably go 5-7 years older max.

    • @TheGoldenCapstone
      @TheGoldenCapstone 4 місяці тому

      ​@@jessicahitchens6926 You're just saying that because you're older and they dont prefer you. You have no idea whats in the hearts and minds of men so just stop embarrassing yourself. Two consenting adults can have whatever relationship they want without you trying to butt in and control it.

  • @Minimeowzilla
    @Minimeowzilla 11 місяців тому +11

    100% paradox of choice! And decision fatigue! And yes we're just expected to have relationship skills etc without ever learning or being taught, and as a society we just lack mental health knowledge and education so much. And yes I recommend the book Date-onomics where it talks about there's a shortage of college-educated men but college educated women really want a partner with the same level of education, and yes NYC is notorious for having way more single women than men! Great video and you continue to produce such great content Anna! xoxo

  • @YourPainting1
    @YourPainting1 11 місяців тому +94

    I’m recently single at 31 after a 6.5 year relationship. No kids, no ring. I had to end it due to these issues. Why I allowed him to lead me on for so long? I loved him. Now that I’m out dating again, I’ve realized that dating has changed almost entirely. Dating apps were a thing back when I was single in 2016, but I feel as though it’s entirely taken over the whole dating process. It’s not fun and I’m just debating on being single for forever.

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 11 місяців тому +24

      Date multiple men at the same time and keep your options open. Don't get easily attached to the first guy that appears and good luck

    • @jsuisabelle1249
      @jsuisabelle1249 11 місяців тому +3

      How did you leave him ? Do you miss him

    • @YourPainting1
      @YourPainting1 11 місяців тому +1

      @@jsuisabelle1249 It wasn’t like a spur of the moment decision. Around year 4 I became curious as to what he actually wanted out of the relationship since I had made it clear when we started dating that I date to build a true relationship, not for fun and he seemed to understand that. I reached my breaking point when he planned a trip to Florida keys with his friends in August and hadn’t bothered to plan any of our vacations, it was always me. I let him go on his trip and have his fun and when he came home I sat him down and told him how I was feeling. Instead of empathizing or trying to see my point of view, he said something along the lines of “I can’t ever have fun and enjoy myself” and that was the moment I knew he saw me as an anchor and not a wife. I broke up with him that night and we stayed in separate bedrooms for a week until he found his own apartment. That was in October (yes, right before the holidays 🥲). We still talk here and there and I do still love him and miss him, but the lack of commitment and priorities just completely turned me off.

    • @alexsmith-ob3lu
      @alexsmith-ob3lu 11 місяців тому +1

      Good luck finding a husband…

    • @ninabussmann3749
      @ninabussmann3749 11 місяців тому +24

      My colleague told me about her love-life and she had almost the same background as you, broke up with her bf for 11 years at the age of 31. A few months later she met her now-husband and now she’s 39 and happily married with two kids and a house. Don’t worry x

  • @angijoy
    @angijoy 11 місяців тому +15

    Very good advice on moving out of the city. I live in the country, not too far out from the city but it's quiet and calm. It is so much easier to meet people out here and form friendships than it was in the cities. Now I've met their families and friends, and been to parties with their extended friends. If you're single, it's a great way to meet other singles, many of whom have shared interests.

    • @ilsedemolder3973
      @ilsedemolder3973 8 місяців тому +1

      What country do you live if i may ask?

  • @zoranabanana
    @zoranabanana 9 місяців тому +9

    From my past experiences, men just want instant gratification they don’t even want to commit. They want the relationship “things” without actually calling it a relationship 🙄 the issue lies in people are egotistical and selfish.

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 9 місяців тому +5

      The million dollar question is, do you give it to them? As you describes these are events that happened in your past so the answer is yes you give them what they seek, this is why the s3xual liberation movement was a net negative, if women are allowed to sleep with who ever they want whenever they want you change the behaviours of men as a whole in a negative way, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

    • @lifeneverfeltsogood
      @lifeneverfeltsogood 9 місяців тому

      100% true, that’s the way it is with them. They are immature and selfish.

    • @annakarina8417
      @annakarina8417 8 місяців тому

      ​@@h8h215I don't give them. I wait till engagement with sex (i don't tell men this, it's my boundary). And you know what? I'm single long time and I date a lot, men I met didn't want to wait or they were simply not that interested. For all of us it's difficult to find true love.

    • @SartorialisticSavage65
      @SartorialisticSavage65 7 місяців тому +2

      So you mean Chad.
      If a guy has a good match, he stays. Most men CANNOT even live the life you speak of.

  • @KRKimbler
    @KRKimbler 11 місяців тому +94

    Totally agree with you, Anna! Dating is awful. The last time I online dated was 2020, just before the pandemic. I'm 47 and have lived a full life thus far, but even I was shocked and disgusted by how forward most men my age are. It's like back off, buddy. I'm not here to casually sleep around.
    To answer your question about why it feels hard to find love these days, I think living in the age of instant gratification has a lot to do with it. True love takes time to develop while getting to know a person. That's also hard to do because everyone plays the field while online dating and we do ditch people easily because the dating field is so vast.
    Although I'm not currently looking for a partner, I will say (that as a lawyer) it has also felt hard to find someone as smart and educated as I am. Because of that, it almost always felt like I was dating down, which posed an interesting paradox since I was never interested in dating a workaholic either. Not looking to date feels fortunate.

    • @lairofdionysus1943
      @lairofdionysus1943 11 місяців тому

      LOL. Enjoy staying single. What a mess u r

    • @corina6772
      @corina6772 11 місяців тому +17

      I’m in a high paying profession as well
      Let’s not forget about the guys who are successful and educated but act like gods gift to women! 🙄 narcs

    • @cUser691
      @cUser691 11 місяців тому +9

      @KRKimbler Your comment resonated w/ me on several levels. 1)Overly forward 2) Instant gratification. Being formally professionally accomplished makes it even more complex to find a suitable, even-keeled, and respectful partner. Greetings from Chicago 🪴

    • @lairofdionysus1943
      @lairofdionysus1943 11 місяців тому +3

      @@corina6772 You're just projecting...

    • @corina6772
      @corina6772 11 місяців тому +2

      @@lairofdionysus1943 you think so? I don’t think so

  • @janetstraw191
    @janetstraw191 11 місяців тому +61

    I absolutely agree that you can meet men anywhere! Go out and just live your life, participate in things that are of interest to you. Do NOT have an ‘agenda’ (men smell desperation a mile away). Be open and upbeat and let your personality shine. I have met men waiting in a queue, at lectures and Art classes, the grocery store, post office, etc. When I was in my 30’s I met my husband in an elevator - both on our way to work downtown. We were married 18 months later. You don’t need a dating site!!😖

    • @mepulley7913
      @mepulley7913 11 місяців тому +7

      The one thing I will agree with you on your post is about Desperation. Yes that is a smell that reeks.

    • @ariloves10
      @ariloves10 11 місяців тому +3

      Best wishes and congratulations on your love ❤❤

    • @janetstraw191
      @janetstraw191 11 місяців тому +2

      @@ariloves10 Thank you so much!🥰

    • @lairofdionysus1943
      @lairofdionysus1943 11 місяців тому +3

      @@janetstraw191 All of this is a fake act, what you wrote. Which proves you don't know anything about Men and also are either deliberately or naively giving fake dating advice to other Women. Sad...

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому

      ​@@lairofdionysus1943 shes probably pretty and very attractive. Such women can find a man anywhere.

  • @victorialandreville3848
    @victorialandreville3848 11 місяців тому +9

    Anna, wow. Thank you, that was both uplifting and incredibly informative. I was trying to wash the dishes while listening and had to take a seat cause this was exactly what I needed to hear. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me this weekend and it's been a tough weekend because I was completely blind-sided and was in love. Yes I feel sad, yes I'm upset - but I'm not gonna give up. When I'm ready, I will go back to online dating (even though I REALLY dislike the idea of having to get back into it), but I appreciate your perspective on making it efficient and making it a numbers game. I'm an entrepreneur so I know it's a numbers game; I know that one more no is just another step to finding a yes. Even though in this moment, I feel defeated, I know I deserve to be with someone who loves me. So thank you Anna.

  • @erikag7334
    @erikag7334 11 місяців тому +33

    I just can’t believe dating has come to this

    • @sbella6719
      @sbella6719 11 місяців тому

      I was just thinking the exact same thing!

    • @softsophisticate
      @softsophisticate 10 місяців тому +3

      Yes where is all the excitement, the romance?

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 10 місяців тому +4

      it has just came up to arranging quick " pump and dump sessions" and searching for the next toy to play with

    • @unc1221
      @unc1221 10 місяців тому +1

      You must be Gen x. Blame your generation

    • @erikag7334
      @erikag7334 10 місяців тому +3

      @@unc1221 I’m a millennial actually

  • @tatianasouza2361
    @tatianasouza2361 11 місяців тому +38

    What our society needs is God and faith. Also, people need to stop being self centred and start to be more of service to others so that they can have a change in perspective in life, which will cause them to find reasons to be grateful and to abandone the victimhood mentality.

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 11 місяців тому +7

      Individualism is on the rise, while i dont believe in god and love a good debate on the subject i always hold my hand up to the fact that religious communities bring people together in an objective way whereas secular communities fail. The more free we are the more selfish we become.

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому +5

      I agree with you.

  • @MarthaJDK
    @MarthaJDK 11 місяців тому +30

    My dear Anna. I think it is generally hard to find love, not just 2024. I appreciate everything, you have taught me so far🙂

  • @veronicasuarez1033
    @veronicasuarez1033 11 місяців тому +7

    Tried Tinder a couple of years ago and honestly got bored, prefer to interact with people in real life thank you

  • @HesterLFurey
    @HesterLFurey 11 місяців тому +5

    I love this so much. I tried online dating very briefly. Too many weirdos, too little time. I'd rather live alone. I have a good life. I met my partner after a book signing of a friend

  • @myworldofbranchyz8895
    @myworldofbranchyz8895 10 місяців тому +1

    Anna, it is great to have you guiding single people in this messed up world. You just speak my mind as a non-single person seeing the hardships my single friends go through.

  • @niewieder99
    @niewieder99 11 місяців тому +6

    Thank you Anna! This is all so true. Being realistic has meant so many more still high quality men are available to us! A relationship is a partnership. So go for the ‘stayer’ not the showman.

  • @projectgenes1s
    @projectgenes1s 11 місяців тому +36

    I'm 45 and gave up. Couldn't meet anyone online and despite being quite an active and outgoing person, I still don't meet any men in the real world, and my friends have no men to introduce me to either because they are all single. I've accepted now that's life!

    • @pjaine454
      @pjaine454 10 місяців тому +2

      Same

    • @someone-ji2zb
      @someone-ji2zb 8 місяців тому +8

      May not apply to you, but understand that there are tons of men who do want marriage but wont ever be successful financially. "The grass is always greener" mentality is a plague and this obsession with luxury has doomed modern day society.

    • @UserAnon4433
      @UserAnon4433 8 місяців тому +2

      😂😂😂😂

    • @UserAnon4433
      @UserAnon4433 8 місяців тому +5

      So sed. Hope you enjoyed your youth with Chad atleast

    • @Sky10811
      @Sky10811 8 місяців тому

      same

  • @Zuzzamma
    @Zuzzamma 11 місяців тому +39

    Anna, I really wish that yiu've added the huge impact of a hookup culture that has on men, makeing "open relationships" possible, which means that -again, MEN are able to get sexual benefits without commiting, and also the low effort and non pursuing the woman that they are seeing, because men have become so feminine - more than women actually.

    • @JenX422
      @JenX422 10 місяців тому

      If I could like your comment 100 times I would. Yes.. the chemicals in food/water and being dumped on us by chemtrails as well as the garbage western culture has feminized (pussified) men. The only thing masculine about them is they want to use their genitals for sex, but beyond that, are not providers or protectors, honest or trustworthy most often. They use their adult male bodies, but havent become men. Porn, video games, social media have allowed the Peter Pan Syndrome of never wanting to be men and the responsibility of a relationship. They just want easy "kitty" on demand then want it to go home after

    • @kuramacabre
      @kuramacabre 6 місяців тому +1

      The trick of open relationships is that the female partner can also get involved with other men. Just sit back as you get approached by multiple men while he squeals for not being able to nail one. It's hysterical.

  • @glamdawling
    @glamdawling 10 місяців тому +3

    You said a lot of truth, Anna. I’m personally in the camp of sick and tired of it. The last man I was romantically involved with I met organically. And he wasn’t it. I’m fed up. I’ve tried online dating too and that was a roller coaster I’ll never go on again. I’m fairing better right now being single, living my life to the fullest with my friends and family.

  • @AM-wq2cz
    @AM-wq2cz 11 місяців тому +5

    First your hair looks amazing. Second. You did a great job of explaining the importance of therapy and working towards secure relationships!

  • @nehasharma2179
    @nehasharma2179 11 місяців тому +19

    I am 32, just got dumped over text by someone whom i dated for about 2 months. Met via an app. Why did i get dumped? Oh well, because I kind of outlined my boundaries to him. And boom, after two days he said I am amazing and blah blah but not what he is looking for.
    I am happy that I didnt waste a lot of time on him. It felt like till the time I am laughing, all is good but the moment I called out his BS. He backed off.

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 10 місяців тому +15

      Outline your boundaries soon after you start to chat with them. so you won't lose your precious time on assholes. there will be a lots of ghosting and blocking but you won't lose your time and energy on dates and chatting with idiots who offer nothing in return

    • @omnipotentwiz5101
      @omnipotentwiz5101 10 місяців тому +9

      You did him a favour.

    • @someone-ji2zb
      @someone-ji2zb 8 місяців тому +5

      Ok... why don't you explain this stuff early on? Shouldn't be taking months to get to that point if your intention is to seek marriage. Otherwise you are just playing moronic games.

    • @nehasharma2179
      @nehasharma2179 8 місяців тому

      @@someone-ji2zb - Are you an idiot? Where did I say my intention wasn't clear? It was clear from the first meeting.

    • @sunfish4095
      @sunfish4095 7 місяців тому +1

      What boundaries did you mention?

  • @sarahkennedy1481
    @sarahkennedy1481 11 місяців тому +37

    Agree on all of this. I have found liars, fantasist, scammers, married men, men with bad mental health, men who looks years older, men looking for a woman to keep her.
    I advise women in 30 not to tarry as only gets harder over 40 50 etc....😮

    • @TheGoldenCapstone
      @TheGoldenCapstone 4 місяці тому

      Yeah and guess what? Men find all those same types of women out there too.

  • @mars5498
    @mars5498 11 місяців тому +13

    I met my husband on tinder, because I was studying too much back then, and he was working too much. My groupmates were only girls, his colleagues were mostly men. And we are absolutely happy now. But talking about dating apps in general - I had only good experience. All the dates I had from there were really great and interesting people.

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому

      You had good experiences only because you are pretty. Thank God for that. The ones like me only get horrible men. I gave up. Be blessed.

    • @PM-jm5km
      @PM-jm5km 10 місяців тому +1

      Don't say this. I have seen pretty women with terrible men. But, what's 'terrible'? Personallly i focus more on the personality, if we are compatible or similiar and if he is a good person. This is the most important.

  • @somethingclever2
    @somethingclever2 10 місяців тому +27

    Because no one wants an actual person. Everyone wants a fantasy.

  • @alexviolett
    @alexviolett 10 місяців тому +9

    I think the fundamental reason is that because there seems to be unlimited choice (there isn't), people expect others to come into their life as already perfect with no need to work on anything. This creates inability to choose "good enough for me and make it better together" and instead puts everyone into a chase of an imaginary "perfect partner". Essentially we are living in a culture today that promotes the motto "get everything today and not pay any price for it". The problem is the best things in life (be it relationships, work, self-actualisation, parenting) ALWAYS come through commitment, dedication and hard work. That's just the law of life, which we decided we can change. I personally just came out of a situationship several days ago, in which I never intended to find myself in the first place. But this story taught me that it actually doesn't even matter that I know what I want (I did know what I wanted from that relationship and said it very soon) - if the other person fails to give you proper honest feedback and communicate, nothing will work. Another hindrance is the current obsession with polyamory, casual hookups, FWB and all these kinds of things. I mean if two people are on the same page about the things they want, fundamentally I don't care. But from the literature I've read my understanding is that only maybe 1% of population is truly psychologically wired to live that lifestyle. For the rest of us mortals it brings nothing but commitment issues, inability to build meaningful emotional connections and this illusion of always having the next best choice

  • @Aieshoo
    @Aieshoo 11 місяців тому +109

    People are more interested in hookups than meaningful relationships.

    • @Cheyannesorelle
      @Cheyannesorelle 11 місяців тому +3

      They are 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @ferrerarah9454
      @ferrerarah9454 11 місяців тому +10

      "men

    • @carultch
      @carultch 10 місяців тому +11

      Translation: the men you put out for, are more interested in hook-ups than meaningful relationships.

    • @michael10613
      @michael10613 9 місяців тому +9

      @@carultch lol you gotta have a womanese degree to translete all these comments 🤣

    • @RunDLC
      @RunDLC 7 місяців тому

      Why do people just want hook ups? I don’t understand and think it’s gross honestly. I killed all dating apps and social media years ago. It’s such a time waster and major source of disappointment.

  • @marionandrews176
    @marionandrews176 11 місяців тому +9

    Wow…that was filled with so much information and insight. I’m in the leveling phase and haven’t thought about dating in a long time. I have been really discouraged by the thought of having to use dating apps, but that seems to be the predominant method now. The “old days” were so much easier…

  • @yeseniasanca9507
    @yeseniasanca9507 11 місяців тому +7

    Dear Anna, you are shining! I must say that your outside is reflecting your inside. 🥰

  • @baddcheeta.
    @baddcheeta. 11 місяців тому +1

    Totally agree that relationships are one big compromise.. we come together to make it work and it means we need to discuss our differences and find a way to merge them. Agreed, the dating apps are not promising, it’s better to meet in person or find common ground and meet through friends .. something in common is key !!

  • @jose-pie3055
    @jose-pie3055 10 місяців тому +3

    I met my husband on a Christian dating app. In my bio I made it clear what my beliefs were, what I wanted in life and who I was as a person. I talked to probably 10 men and only a few passed the sniff test. I met my husband the first day I had the app and he stayed consistent and we started talking every day. We had a.long distance relationship and were married a year later. We have the happiest marriage and a beautiful baby boy! Moral of the story is be very upfront and honest about your intentions, interests and beliefs, and don't compromise on them whether you're in person or on an app.

  • @cydoniemiles1535
    @cydoniemiles1535 11 місяців тому +41

    Moving out of the big cities is such good advice and this key is what worked for me. The city men usually avoid commitment at all costs, and who can blame them? They are facing the same paradox of choice we are.

    • @mepulley7913
      @mepulley7913 11 місяців тому +1

      Good point.

    • @chrystianaw8256
      @chrystianaw8256 11 місяців тому +14

      Big cities foster unnatural behaviour in people

    • @loislee2895
      @loislee2895 10 місяців тому

      Doesn't work in rural areas either.

    • @SartorialisticSavage65
      @SartorialisticSavage65 7 місяців тому

      Noooooo city women avoid most men and definitely avoid commitment. Chad, Tyrone and Fukkboiz avoid commitment though. And we have the stats to back up how much you like them.

    • @kuramacabre
      @kuramacabre 6 місяців тому

      Except that their paradox of choice involved 10 women that they matched with after swiping right on everyone and then never getting laid lmao.

  • @VictoriaVlogz
    @VictoriaVlogz 11 місяців тому +19

    I am having a tough time in the dating realm myself. There just doesn't seem to be many good quality men out there anymore. I have been taking a lot of your advice over the years and I have developed into a very refined lady now I just need to find a gentleman on the same level.

    • @shatakshipandey8014
      @shatakshipandey8014 11 місяців тому +4

      You attract something that you are , be calm the gentleman is being prepared for you

  • @andjelabegovic
    @andjelabegovic 11 місяців тому +116

    We met on Tinder in 2022, got engaged two weeks ago 💍
    Everything is possible, you just HAVE to know what you are looking for!! It's the KEY! ☺️
    I wrote a list of things I look for in a partner and he ticks all the boxes. 😊

    • @kristenmoonrise
      @kristenmoonrise 11 місяців тому +9

      Congrats! I know Tinder gets a bad rep but I know two married couples who met on there 👍🏼

    • @rosewatersweettea
      @rosewatersweettea 11 місяців тому +9

      Congratulations! I met my man on Tinder too, it was definitely a diamond in the rough situation.

    • @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee
      @ivancheeeeeeeeeeee 10 місяців тому +6

      it's just a pure luck and nothing more to find someone there

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому

      ​@@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee its not luck. The pretty ones find good men. Its the same as real life.

    • @ellen5276
      @ellen5276 10 місяців тому +6

      A two-year relationship with a two-week engagement is proof of nothing other than the honeymoon stage. There is still a lot you don't know about each other. I have two long-term relationships (including a marriage) behind me, and when people would say this to me I would be so offended, but now I see it is true. I obviously hope you continue to be happy, but I just think it is too early to say "everything is possible".

  • @tiredsnailtrail
    @tiredsnailtrail 10 місяців тому +6

    I find the points made in this video so interesting because my own personal philosophy with dating and romance is "I will strive to emulate all of the characteristics I look for in a partner". So if I want someone who is good mannered, kind, attentive, loyal, hard working, etc. then I will work to be more like that myself, because I don't think it is fair to expect things of a partner that you aren't able or willing to do yourself (generally speaking).

  • @Lady_N-e3o
    @Lady_N-e3o 11 місяців тому +24

    I give a man maximum 8 months to propose me (I also do not cohabit)
    If a guy is in love, he does it pretty quickly
    If he carries on dating and not marrying, to me it means only one- his feelings are not strong enough
    And I prefer breaking up after a certain period rather than cohabiting and dating with a man for years and one day watching him proposing another girl in a week

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 11 місяців тому +10

      Excellent approach!
      Men know very quickly when they REALLY want to marry a woman (versus just taking any woman who will have him because he still benefits from it and he doesn’t want to be alone). They make their move FAST because they don’t want anyone else to get her.
      I’ve seen too many women end up brokenhearted because they spent YEARS with a man giving him wife benefits at girlfriend prices, only for him to leave her and MARRY another woman.

    • @Rdm324
      @Rdm324 10 місяців тому

      Spot on. This reminds me of miss universe 2020, Andrea Meza. Her boyfriend recently proposed to her after 4 years of dating. I wouldn't have waited that long tbh. And I don't think a man truly in love would want to risk losing the woman he loves by making her wait years.

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever 10 місяців тому

      ​@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Livingi was proposed to and the guy was still a nightmare. I do agree though on having a timeframe. Its important for women.

    • @awsambdaman
      @awsambdaman 7 місяців тому +1

      It’s good to have a deadline but to me this would scare me off. I’m 26 and married but I don’t think I’d like it if my wife said “you have 8 months to propose” I would probably cut her loose cause if she’s looking for that right away I’m not that guy. Most guys get married when they’re ready and found a decent woman, I think it has more to do with his headspace than the woman tbh

  • @paulacastello5436
    @paulacastello5436 11 місяців тому +4

    This is the best video of Anna ever ! How clear, analyzed and well explained . Bravo Anna

  • @addaelliott2651
    @addaelliott2651 11 місяців тому +7

    Such a good video, with very good advice, very well scripted and edited. I haven't focused on a UA-cam video this long for a while now, totally got and kept my attention. Thank you Ana, you're doing amazing and you are also looking amazing!!

  • @zanychelly
    @zanychelly 7 місяців тому +3

    Man here, why should i trust a woman that made a lot of bad choices in her past? I don’t, that’s how we work.
    Also, is not only men that “healing”, women in general needs to think what value they can add to a potential relationship… did not come with the “I'm the table”, and it's variants, just because the table is a just a tool. That's how we see it.
    I can only speak for myself, but I think the majority of men are going to agree: Being not loved by another person, besides our parents, is OK in the eyes of a man. But being disrespected is a sign of war.
    If want you to win a man, you need to be respectful, with him and with yourself, including your past. After you respect him, love can be found along the way.
    Edit: The longer your dating history is, the harder will be for you to find a man that will accept that history list. Just saying.
    19:59 - Who said that to a man, a high value woman is what a woman think it is?
    Women, in general, have an idea of what constitute a high value man for them. The same can be said about men, we do have an idea what constitutes a high value woman… it may or may not include a successful career. It depends from woman to woman.
    You are not a high value woman just because you have money, or you traveled the world, or are a CEO… We see this as bonus points, but not something we mandate in a woman… We don’t evaluate that as a sign of high value woman as woman think we do. There are many other things that takes precedence over that.
    So, most of the high value man may not see you as a high value woman, even though you have achieved success in your career.

  • @ulie8009
    @ulie8009 10 місяців тому +8

    I know for a fact that I have dating app PTSD, and I've been off of dating apps for years. It takes a lot of work and time and constant efforts to heal from that experience, and I don't think I ever will. I went onto dating app thinking I was a clean slate. But soon I developed so much toxic behavior myself. I treated others the way others treated me. Because we are all connected. Our energy gets affected by others, then we turn around affecting others with the tainted energy So it's just a very toxic circle, and I was very much a part of that, I was no victim. Realizing the kind of person I was becoming, I just made the decision to quit all together. Unfortunately, not the majority of people realize how dating apps are affecting their mental health. How dating apps are shaping, altering our world views, values, our behavior, our energy, etc. So dating is almost impossible on or off of dating apps. I have more deep rooted triggers that I didn't have before dating apps. And I know there are many more like me...

    • @princebuster93
      @princebuster93 10 місяців тому +2

      @ ulie, well done, so refreshing to hear someone take responsibility and admit they where contributing to something negative and destructive , instead of blaming everyone else. You made a good decision and walked away from it. That’s called maturity and realising you deserve and want better relationships, God bless you ❤

    • @floshi6519
      @floshi6519 10 місяців тому +1

      The the most wise answer I've ever seen on social media.

  • @laurencevermeulen8658
    @laurencevermeulen8658 11 місяців тому +20

    This is the video I needed today 🙏 Thank you, Anna ❤ I’ve been watching your videos for years and you’ve inspired me so much!

  • @ioanafilipescu2327
    @ioanafilipescu2327 11 місяців тому +20

    I think the no 1 reason is lack of connection because of our very agitated lifestyle nowadays, you’re no 1 point as well on this list; and no 2 for me is clearly the unrealistic expectations we ALL or most of us seem to have these days. I’m glad you said that and I love how you sustained your argument because yes, I see that a lot of times, women in the dating/ femininity community basically say ‘all women, regardless of how they look, CAN find a millionnaire or whatever, which is very UNTRUE. No, you cannot look however or do in life whatever etc and have that ‘ideal’ man or woman. Just like Anna said: you need to be on his/her level. In the femininity/dating community women seem to have forgotten that they themselves too HAVE TO BE ON HIS LEVEL, not just the other way around.

    • @devilsadvocacy
      @devilsadvocacy 10 місяців тому +2

      Finally someone who gets it 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @user-go2xi7zq5q
      @user-go2xi7zq5q 10 місяців тому +1

      Thank you for finally being a reasonable woman!

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder 17 днів тому

      Men don't demand beauty of women as much as women demand money from men

  • @Michelle.A79
    @Michelle.A79 11 місяців тому +46

    Ana, in western countries women over 30’s unmarried and without children is more prevalent than in developing countries, where perhaps marriage is a cultural and provides economic & security for the family and the society. The same cannot be said for western countries because women are more independent and have their own financial security as well. That’s just my opinion I do agree that social media is definitely having an impact as well in finding the right person.

    • @JenX422
      @JenX422 10 місяців тому +2

      With the insane inflation happening in western countries, even 100K is not at all a livable wage. Most women I know earning north of 200K a year are struggling and cant qualify for a basic home now with 7% interest rates and average prices of 600K

    • @ernestkhalimov748
      @ernestkhalimov748 10 місяців тому +3

      Statistically, those same women have an exactly 50% chance of settling down for the rest of their life, and about 80% of all women who end childless admit that it was unintentional, very fascinating

  • @ih4630
    @ih4630 11 місяців тому +18

    Step one… Stop watching so-called reality shows. Step two …delete your Facebook and Twitter accounts…. Step three. Go out into the real world and remember you’re not perfect. Life is about compromises.

  • @marysuze
    @marysuze 10 місяців тому +31

    In my 70s, I always dated more than one guy at a time from teen into young adult when I met my husband. I feel certain that it was easier to tell that we were compatible because of my experiences. However, he only dated one woman before me so……..we are to be fifty years married in a few months.

    • @vklnew9824
      @vklnew9824 10 місяців тому

      You boomers are a pestilence

    • @greenytaddict
      @greenytaddict 10 місяців тому

      @thezoldics7648 why is that your business?

    • @piotr004
      @piotr004 10 місяців тому +7

      So you basically confessed to be a 304, while your husband was a decent man. Poor husband.

    • @marysuze
      @marysuze 10 місяців тому +4

      You missed the point. I was NOT having sex with these guys, I was doing old fashioned dating.

    • @piotr004
      @piotr004 10 місяців тому +2

      @@marysuze Really? It's hard to believe you, because you wrote, "However, he only dated one woman before me so…" like it was his flaw. Even if only dating, it is still shallow, because you are not trying to get to know a person deeply, you just prefer quantity like in candidates factory.

  • @SereyBlume
    @SereyBlume 11 місяців тому +28

    I just moved to a city with 150k citizens and it feels so refreshing and relaxing. Not only is this city known for its beauty! Can't wait to meet new people and look around and be open to possible new beginnings ☺

    • @SereyBlume
      @SereyBlume 8 місяців тому +1

      Thanks! To you too 😊

    • @Rosalie-ct8mi
      @Rosalie-ct8mi 6 місяців тому +1

      I also would love to moce to a beautiful village, which city is known for it's beauty? Bordeaux?

    • @SereyBlume
      @SereyBlume 6 місяців тому

      @@Rosalie-ct8mi the I moved is Heidelberg in Germany. It’s truly beautiful 🙏🏼

  • @maitrishah8580
    @maitrishah8580 11 місяців тому +3

    OMG, this video is godsend! I literally stopped online dating almost a year ago becasue it is exhausting. I've also not had a good experience with dating apps in general. Much better to resort to conventional dating methods which can be pretty difficult in these times.

  • @NoName-oh6dn
    @NoName-oh6dn 11 місяців тому +9

    I know women who met their soulmates online . It has nothing to do with age , preferences , choices, … there is no formula! Yes women should invest in themselves and be classy but unfortunately it doesn’t give you guarantee that you will be with a high value man and be his wife one day. You can’t control certain things .

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder 17 днів тому

      there is no incentive for men, esp. for high value men.. they realized it now because of internet.. better late than never

  • @danna1999
    @danna1999 11 місяців тому +6

    One of the best videos I've ever watched. Everybody should know that before dating anyone, you should heal yourself and become a better version like Anna said. So that you can attract the best mate and best things in life in general.
    Anna, you are such a wise and intelligent woman!

  • @bluebaby5197
    @bluebaby5197 11 місяців тому +21

    Anna in 2020 "you have to act hard to get" Anna in 2024 "it's time to be realistic" ahahah love you

  • @Thrivinginthespotlight
    @Thrivinginthespotlight 11 місяців тому +8

    As an indie musician i used to feel like this was only a problem for everyone else because in my scene people still dated in person and met in person more than online but honestly ive met plenty of indie boys that are spoiled for choice also on these apps back when i was still dating. Two of them that i met in person didnt like how i looked in person. They didnt say it out loud but i could tell. Even these guys that were supposed to be more authentic and artistic got sucked into meeting girls online and feeling superior to regular women because theyre spoiled for choice with women with fake nails and 50 layers of foundation and not artsy girls anymore, or just trying to find the most perfect looking version of their dream girl to complete the package so they can make the purchase and not return the inventory.

  • @kevinbutler1968
    @kevinbutler1968 11 місяців тому +10

    I asked my wife if she considered me a high value man. After a few hours thinking, she settled on Yes.

  • @edwardlovrr
    @edwardlovrr 10 місяців тому +11

    My biggest boundary that I am not willing to compromise is p*rnography turns out A LOT of men watch it. I’ve been dumped because of it. I am honest with all the men I’ve dated about it all of them left me. I would rather stay single tbh I’m mentally better 😅

    • @sxsx5951
      @sxsx5951 10 місяців тому

      Why is p0rn bothering you? Are you jealous of actresses?

    • @Lja77613
      @Lja77613 10 місяців тому +7

      @@sxsx5951the problem is that it fu**s with your brain chemistry and destroys relationships in one way or another. Also it is morally wrong and disrespectful.

    • @awsambdaman
      @awsambdaman 7 місяців тому +3

      I’m with you on that. I’m a man who’s struggled with that issue and my wife has often brought up that she can “feel” when I watched it. I could tell what she was talking about, my energy was different and I wasn’t as in touch with her. I wasn’t desiring intimacy. A lottttt of men have this problem and I wish more people would discuss it, and it’s effects on female partners

    • @TheGoldenCapstone
      @TheGoldenCapstone 4 місяці тому

      Turns out even more women sell it though...

    • @edwardlovrr
      @edwardlovrr 4 місяці тому

      @@TheGoldenCapstone they sell it because men consume it lol. The p*rn industry exists because of men.

  • @justbelit
    @justbelit 11 місяців тому +48

    I would use the term "childfree" over childless since most women are choosing not to have kids versus not being able to

    • @samapattiyoga
      @samapattiyoga 11 місяців тому +3

      Thank you--I'll adopt that wording

    • @sxsx5951
      @sxsx5951 10 місяців тому +3

      Childless means you don't have children. Childfree sounds like children are some sort of prison you have escaped from. That is why mentally healthy people do not use it.

    • @justbelit
      @justbelit 10 місяців тому +3

      @sxsx5951 you may want to research that. Childless is deemed an insult to most women since it indicates wanting something one cannot have. According to research, childfree is more accepted since it does not outright indicate the circumstances surrounding the choice

    • @sxsx5951
      @sxsx5951 10 місяців тому +2

      @@justbelit Ok, So homeless people are actually homefree, because most of those sociopaths actually want to live on the streets.
      I will call them homefree so they can feel better about their wasted lives.

    • @jaythenihilist4689
      @jaythenihilist4689 9 місяців тому +6

      That's not true. I think it was something like 80% of women who didn't end up having children, said that they wanted to have children. People live slower lives these days. Unfortunately for women, their biology doesn't change, and they only have a limited time to make that decision.

  • @mmven1101
    @mmven1101 11 місяців тому +21

    I tried to do the dating app thing, but realised it is not for me. Even conventionally attractive looking guys do nothing for me. I felt like I am too picky and have too high standards. But I have realised I need to meet someone in real life and feel the chemistry, before I can feel attracted to someone.

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 11 місяців тому

      It sounds like you’re demisexual. Dating apps are hard for demisexuals because looks don’t matter at all to them. They don’t feel an attraction unless there’s an emotional connection.

    • @EtoCobra
      @EtoCobra 10 місяців тому +1

      Genuine question, how do you feel that chemistry? I am asking because I don't trust people that easily.

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno 11 місяців тому +16

    We get so unlucky in life. And I don't even do Tinder.

    • @tamikaleeryker
      @tamikaleeryker 11 місяців тому

      Most women use so many filters on dating apps. It is unfortunate.

  • @JMlovescats
    @JMlovescats 11 місяців тому +12

    Hi Anna been following your channel for some time, and I must say, I've learned so many things from you. Thank u for taking the time sharing your very helpful tips! I've trying to level up myself in the pursuit of being an elegant lady, and these kinds of videos wherein you tackle social issues are remarkably on point! You've really broaden my understanding, likewise, my view on things in a good way. ❤

  • @Gaby-ld1fp
    @Gaby-ld1fp 11 місяців тому +3

    Anna, your face looks amazing!! The skin, clothes and make up are on point!

  • @ladymajica4268
    @ladymajica4268 9 місяців тому +7

    Dating for me has been so hard from the beginning, no one was ever interested in me growing up...in my late 20s i was told i should settle down instead of focusing on work, so i signed up to a dating site 😔 the worse thing i ever did, i thought i did my due diligence...met a well spoken, kind man that was going through a divorce with his so called wicked ex wife...not long after I found out i was pregnant, got told its not his and he wants nothing to do with us...now I'm 36 with a 9 year old, only dated once in the 9 years but now being told thats my life over, ill never be a wife or have any more children. Now i feel i let my daughter down by keeping her due to not feeling comfortable being a murderer and she'll probably have the same problem as me because shes come from a broken household. I hope its not the case for her...I wanted to set a good example for my daughter but clearly my stupidity and naiveness has set her up to fail too. I wish there was more talks like this growing up because I could have been a better example. Thank you for sharing this content, i hope that it helps more young women 💯💖✨🙏✨

    • @lifeneverfeltsogood
      @lifeneverfeltsogood 9 місяців тому +1

      Don’t blame yourself, dear 🥹 It hurts to read this. You seem like a very kind and loving person. The love you give to your daughter matters the most and being a single parent is so much better than raising a kid with bad father. There are many men who are single parents too or those who don’t mind marrying a woman with a kid, because they are simply mature enough to understand the situation. Someone very close to me found her love at your age or later, with two kids. She has a good husband and now they have two kids of their own. You didn’t do anything wrong, somebody used your goodness.

    • @annakarina8417
      @annakarina8417 8 місяців тому +1

      Girl, you are young and beautiful! You will meet your man, just open for love. And for your daughter, teach her self worth and your past mistakes so she will be smar young!

  • @vanessab2392
    @vanessab2392 11 місяців тому +9

    My last relationship was from 2016 to 2019, so yeah, a total of 3 years. He would make me cry all the time and he didn't care. Afterwards, I have never been interested in pursuing another romantic relationship. I decided that love does exist, but it just does not exist for me.

    • @softsophisticate
      @softsophisticate 10 місяців тому +2

      Love does exist for you. Most people want some to love and be happy with. Yes there are people who want to abuse others but they are in the minority. Don't give up hope. You are worth loving. Maybe do a bit of researvh on healthy and unhealthy relationships and the red flags to look out for. Likely your ex showed many red flags at the start and you ignored them. See him as a training relationship, that you can learn from and move towards a healthier relationship. I see it all as like food, why would you continue eating something toxic that you know is bad for you.

    • @vanessab2392
      @vanessab2392 8 місяців тому

      @@softsophisticate thank you. 💕💕

  • @Atheria444
    @Atheria444 10 місяців тому +9

    I've totally given up at my age. Online dating is like creepy shopping to me and so superficial. I need a soul connection...a soul recognition. Yes, that can happen. Having a couple of things in common is not remotely enough. And, there are WAY more women then men where I live. Thankfully, I'm fine on my own. But it REALLY bugs me when someone says, "I don't understand why you're single." There's no one to date who is interesting and I don't meet anyone! Okay, done venting.

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 10 місяців тому

      Why not relocate?

    • @Atheria444
      @Atheria444 10 місяців тому +1

      I am hoping to, but have a very good job. I'll take a huge pay cut, most likely...sigh. @@h8h215

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@@Atheria444i understand and hope you choose well what ever your decision may be.

    • @Marty_YouTuber
      @Marty_YouTuber 10 місяців тому

      @@Atheria444 i'm curious how old you actually are, no offense but you aren't in your twenties anymore like me. and you seem quite picky. maybe you could choose better makeup and dress sexier and then guys will be more into you.

    • @Marty_YouTuber
      @Marty_YouTuber 10 місяців тому

      @@Atheria444 i'm curious how old you actually are, no offense but you aren't in your twenties anymore like me. and you seem quite picky. maybe you could choose better makeup and dress sexier and then guys will be more into you.