Patient on Life Support
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2023
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One of the best perspectives I've heard came from a chaplain. He said, "There's a difference between prolonging life and prolonging death."
Holy crap, this hit hard.
I know this is late but, what is the difference?
@@user-uu5cc7rm5g Prolonging life is when the person is still able to do the things they enjoy and interact with people. Prolonging death is simply extending their existence when they can no longer take any pleasure from it, and the best medical knowledge we have says they will never get better. I'm vastly oversimplifying, but this is the general idea.
By the time a person gets to this point, they often can no longer communicate. That's why it's important to have conversations with your loved ones about when you would or wouldn't want to be kept on life support.
Always allow them to go with no pain. End of life care should always be as painless for the patient as possible....
Grandpa was a veterinarian, and intimately familiar with end-of-life care. When his time came, he trusted us to be practical and not draw things out. Sometimes the best way to love someone is to let them go.
I had both my parents pass away on hospice. It was the best decision we could have made for them at their end. The focus was on comfort and pain control. Quality vs quantity
My mother had a terminal disease. At the start of it all she told me she wasn't scared of dying but she was scared of the pain that would come. When the pain came and she wasn't able to make the decision anymore i made certain that her wishes were heard and she went peacefully. tore my heart out but it was her decision to make
I’m sorry for your loss.
My husband was placed on hospice and they were wonderful with pain control and support.
Unfortunately, when I had my mom placed on hospice, even though it was short term (two months), the hospice company sucked and I reported them. Unfortunately, it hadn't changed the last time I asked a nurse who worked there.
The right company makes a world of difference. If I had changed companies, I might have gotten better care and peace of mind.
I'm so sorry that you had to experience this. Positive perspective. But still a horrible experience.
Totally! Same here. During my mom's last couple of weeks, she was on a morphine drip for "unspecified pain". At age 88, and no longer anywhere near independent, comfort care was golden!
Aaaand he's gone. Poor daughter didn't really grasp how his condition was terminal and they literally could not bring him back to full health.
My husband and I had discussed the issue more than once, and he didn't want to be kept on life support.
After I found him unresponsive in bed, the paramedics did CPR and finally got a pulse, took him to the hospital, and put him on life support. The doctor asked me if I wanted CPR if he coded, I told them DNR.
I allowed him to be on life support for a few hours, while there was still some hope. When the doctor told me that his condition was deteriorating, I didn't hesitate asking them to take him off the machines.
It wasn't a difficult decision, because it was what he wanted. He was my soulmate, he was my world. I will miss him every day I still draw breath; but I wasn't going to make him go through that--it wasn't about me...
You're very brave in loving him sooo much, to let him go.
Blessings to you sweet lady, every day of your life. 🙏🏼
If you have the belief, you'll see him again, ❤
I had to scream cry at my family to take my twin sister off life support and do NOT do a medically induced coma.
We've discussed this. We BOTH told everyone NO to both things. I know she was young-ish (55) and her children couldn't handle it , but this was talked about for many years.
Yet there they were talking about it, ignoring me and doing as they pleased.
Till I was shaking, crying and yelling at them to stop the pain and let her GOoo. Then, I walked out cause I had no say . I wasn't gonna sit there and watch that!
@@lorireed8046
I'm so very, very sorry about what your family did to you and your twin sister. That's heart-wrenching! You may not need it, but I wish I could hug you right now!
I went through something similar, but I was able to stop my older sister from wanting to get a court order to stop a DNR that our other sister had had in place for a long time. So I can empathize with you somewhat. Being that she was your twin, I'm certain it was a lot harder for you.
I'm sending love and blessings to you from Idaho. ❤️
@@PADS62 Thank you. They DID end up taking her off the machines but, the cost was me being disowned by them as they , now, say I'm the reason she is dead. It's a severe burden for all of the family to not have it in writing.
@lorireed8046
I completely agree to getting it in writing also. What a horrible place They put you in to then do what you and your sister Told Them what she wanted to happen! Wow, I'm just completely heartbroken for you that your family is blaming you for your sister's death. I'm sorry, but that's just disgustingly rude and completely uncalled for.
I'm a passionate full blooded Italian that feels deeply for people, even ones I don't know who are wronged. Need me to put a hit on them? (Joking!! 😂😂)
Bit if I lived closer to you, they'd get a huge piece of my mind!
Hang in there, darlin...
I wish you all the best this life has to offer filled with love and happiness! ❤️❣️☮️
Patient : *flatlines
Daughter: ”NO!!!”
Nurses: “I’m so sorry”
Doctor Mike: “CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS!”
Haha, so true. 🤣
Steven He: You are a failure!
YES
the reality of this is literally too common and grim.
a family I am close with has trama because their father didn't have a DNR and they were revived on his death bed (elderly patient after multipul strokes) - No blame to the hospital staff, they were doing what they are legally obligated to do.
Edit: Yes, literal trauma. This happened over a decade ago, and they still speak of the condition of their father after he was revived like it happened yesterday.
DNR and DNI: *CEASE*
As a nurse, I have seen this many times before. Palliative patients families deny them pain medication thinking they will get all " doped up" or get addicted. They need it to pass peacefully. They are going to die regardless. It should be a comfortable death. I always wonder of their children are going to be cruel and inhumane to them as well.
The Bible tells us that we reap what we sow,
So yes, eventually,
Someone will treat them that way.
I don’t think this is a case of cruelty but a combination of fear of death, love, and wishful thinking
Unfortunately we got too lax with opioids and now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction and people who actually need them are denied out of fear now.
You can't get addicted to something if you only have a week to live. And even if you do, what's it gonna do, kill you?
Actually, until a few decades ago, DOCTORS were the ones withholding sufficient pain medication from even terminal patients, because "they will get addicted". Absolutely infuriating. And yes, cruel. When I'm in pain, I want meds. I did get a habit during cancer treatment. I don't care. I detoxed later. That's my business. With terminal cases, It's nuts
Key word: selfish
It kills me when I hear of people who want to keep their terminal pets or family members alive who are in great pain and should be allowed to go, just because they are selfish and don't want to let them go.
I've told my children, I know its sad and a difficult decision, but when the time comes, be strong and let me go.
I was that person for a while when my father passed away. It's just too difficult to take the decision for someone you care too much, but you are so right to mentally prepare your children and make it easier for them while assuring your own betterment.
like that brother from Harry potter who wished for the stone
This is one of the lessons you learn growing up with pets. Loving our kitty cat Sylvester meant having to make the call when he was old and sick; postponing my grief wasn't worth causing him more pain.
@@margotrosendorn6371
Absolutely! 💯💯💯
Off topic but I recently had to make the difficult decision to have my 18-year-old cat euthanized. I was being selfish and denying that she was in pain, that her constant meowing was her being senile. It was so rough as I raised her for so long. But I should have done it sooner. It was last week when I had it done and I'm still kicking myself for being so selfish.
Thanks for posting this. A former roommate complained of pain for years. Turned out to be stage 3 cancer. She's currently in hospice, the doctors gave her 3 months. I'm thinking 3 weeks. She's doped to the gills. And I'm glad for it.
I am so sorry. I have stage 4 cancer for about year now. I hope she is comfortable.
From what I can tell, it's not uncommon a couple of days before death for the person to suddenly have a turn for the positive.
I'll have more energy, recognize people that they didn't before,
More active all of a sudden, etc..
If that happens to your roommate, just be warned that death is probably coming quickly
This happened to one of my two uncles who died from pancreatic cancer.
@@YarbroKI hope you’re comfortable ❤
Hey! Fellow Senior Citizens!! If you haven't had this conversation with your family yet, NOW IS THE TIME!! Complete your will! Set up advance directives. Make sure everyone knows what you want. If you love your family, don't leave them to make these decisions! Be an adult!
I am 32 and I was given the papers to do one a few months ago when I was first diagnosed with cancer. I really don't want to do it! At the time I was so overwhelmed by the diagnosis, surgery, treatment etc. Now I have undergone treatment and things are calming down, so I will start setting up mine... At 32 years old, this is the last thing I thought I would have to do.
@@iSheree May you live to be 100! But do this soon. Your family will appreciate the effort. And you will know you've left them prepared. Be well and good health to you and yours.
@@iSheree I totally understand why you wouldn't want to do it based on the situation it was presented in. But the fact is that we can all die at any moment. Please fill out the paperwork and let your loved ones know what you want. I hope you live to be 105 and never need to use any of the things you write down now - but whether it's cancer or a car wreck or getting struck by lightning, everyone should have their wishes documented so loved ones aren't left guessing. Sending lots of love & hope things are getting better!
@@lisaboban thank you! You are absolutely right. :)
@@azuradawn5683 so true! Thank you so much!
"true love wishes for death when only suffering remains" -somebody I, or you probably dont know
When my Dad was dying of cancer he told me he never wanted to suffer. I told him he had my support in whatever he decided
I have been through this 4 times, my aunt, both my parents, and my uncle. Each time the doctor has struggled to tell me the situation, fearing, I assume, how I would react. They always seemed surprised that I was calm and that I accepted what was to be. I have actually been called hard and uncaring, but I simply cannot understand how anyone would want a loved one to suffer because they are "not ready" to give them up. My family all slipped away peacefully, which is way more important than any need of mine.
As a daughter with a terminal father, this hit me hard. My aunt wants to drag things out and acts like I’m a bad daughter for wanting to let him go gently into that goodnight. People are so damn selfish.
Not wanting to give up is not selfish
Perhaps your aunt is having a job coming to terms that people don't live forever in this existence.
Perhaps she should consider that by wanting to prolong "life" in this existence merely delays a person moving on to the next one?
Why would you want to do that?
I don’t think it’s selfish. Maybe she doesn’t want to live with regret or thinks he can be saved. When my sister was dying of leukemia complications I had to make the decision. At first I wanted to fight but eventually I said to let her go and I still question if that was the right choice today. Maybe they could have saved her. Maybe they just needed to give a heart a kick and she would be alive today. They said it would be bloody and her organs were shutting down. But maybe she could have been saved. They also had her starving for days waiting to be able to get a biopsy (they had to use the scan thing). What I’m trying to say is your aunt isn’t selfish. It’s not selfish to want your sibling to live and fear that they’re making the wrong choice.
@@TheMW2informerbut the aunt doesn’t get to decide for the OP’s father. Especially if he’s terminally ill.
That’s not “giving up.” That’s accepting reality with as much grace and mercy as possible.
I'd love for my patients to say that to their family members. 👍
Guess we SHOULD listen to the patients at the end of _their lives_ after all!!
I just lost my dad and he passed very peacefully and I was holding his hand when he passed and I wouldn’t have had any other way.
God bless and keep you
Sorry for your loss. Mine has been gone 40+ years. They never leave you. 🤗
The old man had enough life left in him to speak his mind. :-0 =P
When my Father was on life support with what the Doctors called "a strange type of pneumonia" my Mother and I decided to sign a DNR order into his 2nd month on life support. The tubes were taken out, we waited for my beloved Dad to leave us, and he began breathing on his own. It was surreal. He was taken to a high dependency unit but he had to be in isolation because he developed MRSA and another transmittable illness I now forget the name of. It took about 2 or 3 weeks of testing before they found out he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. Another 5 months in hospital and he was sent home. He knew he had a life expectancy of about 5 years and even during that time he went through radiation therapy for prostate cancer and had a very large cancerous growth surgically removed on his face. He never once complained. The 4th year he had to be on oxygen 24/7 and was hospitalized twice with congestive heart failure. His 2nd admission didn't last long; a few days after being admitted he died while taking a nap. I've made sure my Son knows that I don't ever want to be on life support unless it's fairly certain that I'll survive whatever has made me ill.
RIP Mr. Waterpower, I miss you daily. 😢
What did he want? The reason I ask is because regardless of what the family wants, his wishes have to be the priority. I have seen families waiting and hoping that their loved one would pass away or insisting that their loved one be given morphine for pain that the person themselves wasn't experiencing and didn't want. While we know nature will take over regardless, I think its important that the person be in control of their medical decisions for as long as possible so they can go through the process of accepting they are going to die. Even if that is very difficult for the family. Imagine what it would be like if you knew your family weren't coping with your illness and were hoping your life would come to an end so they could move on? I couldn't think of anything worse. Also it isn't ethical to not provide treatment when a person is going to recover from their illness. Hindsight is a gift and its easy to look back and think how awful it was after that happened. He may well have seen and done things that he was pleased to be alive for. While I know it was very difficult for the family members especially when they get burnt out as carers, I think its important that they get professional support. I have seen unnecessary cruelty too often. And if people are still angry about the way someone was given treatment which prolonged their life, then they need to talk to someone who can help.
@@lulunz6809it sounds like they had no expectation he would survive after the first month, especially if the doctors weren’t sure what was going on. They made the best decision they could-and then adapted when it was apparent he was breathing in his own. He doesn’t seem to have been conscious for that part, or they likely would have asked him. His body answered the question, so they resumed support to see what would happen-and it turns out he got over four of the five years predicted once they had an accurate diagnosis.
My dad was at the end of life but would not agree to DNR: "I want them to keep bringing me back!" The health care staff: "We will not give him food because he can't eat." The wife with a memory condition: "But he just ate a big plate of spaghetti yesterday!" Me: "WE ARE GOING TO HOSPICE RIGHT NOW!" Hospice staff: Absolute angels!!
If he can’t eat how did he eat the spaghetti yesterday that doesn’t make sense
@@MelB868 He had eaten spaghetti weeks or months before, but the memory condition caused her to think it happened the previous day.
A former vet said that she became a vet instead of a doctor because she could do that last kind thing and help end her patient’s’ suffering. Maybe that sounds cold, but I don’t think so. Humans aren’t pets, of course, and it’s more complicated, but sometimes pet parents and next of kin do the same thing: think of themselves and their feelings first.
I didn't let either of my chihuahua girls suffer! I've had animals all of my life and I've always tried to think of them first!
I would Never keep a pet alive for my own selfish needs.
When my mama passed in 2002, she had everything written out and when she was dieing of Colon cancer, us 5 siblings were at her side! It was what SHE wanted, not us fighting over Anything!
I miss her sooo blubbering much! 💔😢
But I know she's watching over us and that we'll see her again. ❤❤❤
If this isn’t me when I’m on my deathbed, I don’t wanna die.
And that's your right, had occasions where they will revoke and demand to be full code as they feel themselves slipping, but sooner or later the team just won't be able to bring you back especially if you already gone through several codes in a short amount of time.
@@Joel-wx7zk I was meaning more “WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP” but ok, I get you lol
I know what my parents want. I knew what my grandparents wanted. Fight me, I dare you. My grandpa wanted no life support and had a DNR, Aunt tried to get him a feeding tube. Had to get a lawyer. You may not like it but these are the decisions they made. Respect them.
I probably scared the EMT who started to give my father CPR when I snarled something along the lines of "Don't you dare ! I have a POLST ! He doesn't want CPR!" at him.
Hospice was life changing for us watching every breath be a moan of pain (stage 4 colon cancer and in liver) from my hero. The moment we signed he was peacefully resting and we got to have goodbyes that were meaningful without suffering being the only last memory!
This is why I made sure everyone in my family knows that if the doctor doesn't think I'm coming back to just let me go
As an Appalachian hillbilly, and an ER nurse, I am insulted and amused. Haha.
Long time fan, keep it up!
My aunt did this exact thing, which was against my grandmothers wishes. She wanted to pass, she lost her husband ffs, but she was kept alive an extra month unable to move, or do really anything on her own. They said enough, and pulled the plug. My aunt tried to sue. It didnt go anywhere though.
When I'm at the end of my run, I want to be high AF on all the good shit... and Shrooms!
I’m only in my 20s and don’t have terminal illness, but I’ve told my family if something happens to me (car crash, accident, diagnosed with something terminal etc..) and it seems impossible to make me better - then just let me go. Because I do not want to suffer.
with my grandfather my relatives couldn’t let go i finally said comfort measures only let whatever time he has be in peace it’s not about you or your pain it’s putting that aside and letting your love ones die in the most comfortable way possible they made me leave i still remember how sad grandpa looked 😢
@annegreenwood, Bless your heart ❤️ you were the only sane one in that room. Wanting your person to not suffer is the empathy gene that we are all born with. It's a shame your relatives didn't seem to have been born with that gene and chose the MeMeMeeee choir over the sensitive nature of your person's needs. Blessings to you 🙏 my dear friend ❤️ 🙏
I was expecting him telling her how much the bill will be.
I had a long conversation with the ICU chief's assistant and my wife's father. I had to make sure that if she was in the final minutes I could walk away with nobody being able to countermand the DNR. I was afraid I would be unable to stop from doing it myself, which would be both against her wishes and cruel. She died at 40 on Easter Sunday, 2023. We came home for hospice and I was by her side and had no thoughts whatsoever, completely overwhelmed within the moment. She was so dignified and strong, and four months later I am still crying every night -- I am doing so right now. She was my world, I was hers, and we were our shared future, together. I can't comprehend what has happened.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your soulmate
I'm so sorry for the loss of the love of your life. I'm a young widow myself. 11 months ago, we went to the ER, he was admitted, and when they found out what it was, they also found it was too late to do anything besides palliative care. He was only 46.
Wishing peace for you, and surcease for your soul.
My sincerest condolences.
"A little fentanyl," really resonates as an ICU nurse lol
I guess theres a little left in the tank after all 🤣 🤣 🤣
I never understood why some people feel the need to prolong the pain and suffering of their so-called "loved" ones. So damn selfish. It just brings pain and misery to those you claim to love, so that you can have a few more hours or days to deal with your own BS. Let them go! I have sat with several loved ones as they passed, as natural as possible except for a few meds to help control the pain as they left. Fighting against death when it's time has come is not a good thing to do.
I wouldn't say selfish, but more misinformed or not ready to deal with their death. Its a fucked up situation for everyone.
@cnyte09 in the abstract truth, it ultimately IS selfish. The pain people can go through when passing can be unbelievable. Ease that pain and Pray them into Heaven.
@@IndependentsForTrump I think it depends more on the ailment than the age. A young child with a terminal disease that there is no further chance of curing and is causing them pain and suffering, it is still better to let them pass.
The only time when I wish I could've refused to let someone pass away and kept the life support going was my husband and that's only because I didn't get the chance to tell him goodbye. I was nearly 1000 miles away and had to give permission remotely to remove life support. It was a horrible thing that I wish I had been able to handle better.
@WorthyMissJ God Bless your courage and selflessness. Find Peace in your strength.
There was a lady where I work who had what can only be described as stage 5 body cancer. She wanted to move on to whatever is after this, her family did not. They still had her take treatment and kept saying she would be healed.
When she passed all of us who saw her were glad because she wasn't suffering anymore.
She didn't have a living will or medical requests on paper so the family could keep her "alive. Please get your medical requests on paper. Pain meds didn't even help her, that's how far gone she was.
Cancer only goes to stage 4
@@MelB868 she was a corpse with breathe. It was terrible. You could smell the decay of a dead body on her while she was alive.
Wishful thinking to the point of being delusional causes suffering. It happens a lot in religious families. If they pray and believe hard enough, the cancer will be reversed!
And while that might be good for the tithe collection box, it's not good for Meemaw who's rotting while she's still alive and can practically hear the afterlife calling to her.
@@rosella5358 exactly the level of suffering that someone goes through in this situation is torture, are certain point the person starts to smell like death and decay. Cases like this are why I have a full dnr at 37, I'm not going like that. I've told everyone around me don't bring me back. I want to live but but not like that.
There was actually a case in the UK, where 1 daughter was an Rn and the other daughter was an Md. The Rn opted to remove the ventilation and let her Mother pass with dignity and peace, if that was how it was to happen. The Dr. opted to renove the tube, But if her Mother cldnt breathe on her own, then she wanted the Dr to do a breathing tube thru the neck, which was an intrusive and painful procedure. Also, she'd be placed back on life support. At the end of the story, poor lady made it a night I believe breathing on her own, so other daughter gave the go ahead to do the tube thru the throat, and Then was connected back up to a ventilator, and at the end of the film, she had been on life support for pretty much a year. Very sad!!! But sad from both sides, definitely and absolutely. My heart goes out to all that have to make those decisions
Perfect example of how doctors are logical people who know what COULD be done and nurses are empathetic people who know what SHOULD be done.
It's really hard when families obviously have some trauma history with drug use. They try so hard to do what's right by their family. It's so hard to mix that in with trying to process a terminal event. The mingled fear and hope that the person might be able to actually survive, but come out of it 'addicted' to opiates. Lots of gentle and factual reiteration that pain relief is just pain relief when it's needed
We had a 104 year old patient who was a full code bc his daughter said she couldn’t “pull that trigger.” Had to code him and sent him to the ICU on life support. Dk what happened after that but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty for the old man.
Wake up people! Have common sense and compassion!
We did comfort care for my Father in law. He went peacefully and hiiiiiiiiiigh🥰
My brother was dying of pancreatic cancer after having put up a good fight for 18 months. My sister in law questioned him whether he really needed a vicoden. He died only a week later. I remember thinking, addiction is not the issue here, ffs.
"Oh shut up you selish.." heart monitor goes beeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Nurse here and I call this the magic wand philosophy. (As in we tap them on the head with our magic wand and fix them.) While it's never easy to lose someone, the reality is that if we "do everything" for someone in this state it's going to be very invasive, they may live for a couple of days at most, and likely they will never regain consciousness - assuming it works at all.
My dad died 2 weeks ago today and thankfully, he didn't suffer too much. He'd had a stroke and deteriorated pretty quickly. They had us come over (I live in Europe, my parents are in BC, he was basically right in the middle of the fires there) and we made it just in time. I got to spend a couple of hours alone with him, talking to him etc and then 2 hrs later he was gone. I still can't believe it's been 2 weeks already.
The nurses were brilliant, he was being given medication about every hour, and they explained everything so I wasn't left wondering what they were doing. I had the chance to say goodbye, my daughter had the chance to meet grandpa in person (bc of the distance and other reasons, my family had only seen her over video calls until now), and tho I feel lost (we all kind of do), none of us wanted him to suffer.
My great uncle just passed away on 9/14 and his wife, despite his advanced directives, kept holding out on pulling the plug because she kept hoping for a miracle. He went peacefully.
RIP uncle Gary. 😔
Haha my dad was on home hospice & us 5 girls bothered him & he was able to chastise us one last time 😂. Loved it, a couple of sisters we’re having a hard time with his dying even though he was almost 92 & was actively living up to his final hospital visit 3wks before.
I wish I could tell families that. Especially when their parent is dying of cancer and they dint want to give pain relief because they want to be able to talk to them, mostly these are families that haven't seen their parent for years.
WHO is coming to a comedy show?!
I wish. I live upstate NY
Second that I wish 😂
Hopefully a video is uploaded of it, your shows are amazing
Where at?
Yeah, I wish too. I live in the UK, so, unless you're planning on coming over, there's no chance for me 😢❤❤❤
I wish, you sadly arent in my area though
Years ago, I worked 3rd shift at an anwering service. Around midnight, a woman called. Her 90 yr old father had a DNR on file, but she did not have a copy of it. Her father collapsed at home, and she called an ambulance. She then got angry that the paramedics were attempting to resuscitate him, and wanted me to call the doctor so he could tell them to stop. I used to wonder why she had called an ambulance if she did not want them to save him. I came to realize that she had panicked when she called.
I suspect that people also think you’re not supposed to die at home, it has to be under medical supervision.
Except that’s what used to be the norm. We’re so removed from the idea of natural death, going peacefully at home, surrounded by family. It’s a pity, really.
I wish patients could come to and say that to their loved ones. I always want to ask them why they hate their loved ones so much that they want to do this to them.
Fr, the chances that CPR on a 80+ year old would work are slim to none usually. Do yall know everything we do during resuscitation? If we can't get an IV, we bore into your bone. We stick a plastic tube down your throat to breath for you, often blood comes out of patient's mouths and noses during this. Chest compressions themselves take months to fully rehabilitate from, which for an 80 year old is a massive detriment. Not to mention all the stuff we pump your body full of during the whole thing.
I heard that chest compressions break ribs too. And even if you get the person back, they die later after a great deal of suffering. I am 32 years old and my doctor handed me the papers for an advanced care plan a few months ago when I was diagnosed with cancer. She said that she has a DNR even though she is quite young (only a few years older than me)! Apparently she has seen too much. None of us are going to make it out of here alive. We can only hope our deaths are peaceful, quick and painless.
When I saw CPR the first time I was shocked at how violent it was. They had strapped a machine to the patient's arms and chest, and it was doing compressions, and yes, that sternum had to have been broken.
I'm 25. I fully intend to sign a DNR. I have enough issues already, and when my body decides it's go time, I'm going.
One of the kindest things anyone can do for their family is to make these decisions for yourself, beforehand, and put it in writing. It's not difficult and won't take much time, but will prevent a lot of unnecessary suffering and stress for everyone involved.
Don't burden them with that decision during a difficult time for everyone.
I had pretty clear advanced health care directives. Problem is, they are only good if someone is willing to follow them. I was very sick and told I was going to die - like in the next few weeks. I survived those few weeks but was substantially worse. I was in constant pain because my body was trying to kill itself. I asked for no resuscitation and no life support. It was in writing and my doctors and family knew that I was ok with supportive nutrition and fluids but if it was my time I had made peace with that. But I was 30 so what did I know? I had surgery to remove my 8lb spleen (non cancerous - I guess it's in the top 10 size for non tumor spleen removal) and the physicians decided with my family's consent to leave me on ventilation for weeks to allow metobeableto breathe. I tried to remove the tube and was restrained. I coded and they ran a code - not what I wanted. I was getting a morphine drip AND 6mg bolous of dilaudid IV every 3 hours and still hurt constantly on a scale most can't comprehend. When they say 10 being worse pain imaginable, I think burning alive while being fed slowly through a wood chipper. Somehow, my pain still felt worse (and I have an incredibly high pain tolerance - I didn't need pain meds for a ruptured appendix). 6 months I struggled through my existence in an ICU. Had daily dialysis, high dose chemo every other day and couldn't wipe myself or sit up or role on my own. That was 12 years ago. I am not happy people went against my wishes because I didn't want to go through all of that to come out permanently disabled and have to struggle and rely on others forever for sometimes simple tasks like tying my shoes or standing up from a seat. But here I am. I am glad to be here and understand that they weren't ready to lose me, but this isn't about if you are ready. Life is finite, and we should respect someone's wishes about when they are ready. It's their journey and it's one we do alone no matter how loved
Rather let that patient pass than let them suffer
daugther : nO dOnT Gib hIm DrUgz
drug addicts : haha drugs go brrrr
*snorts*
lol
I agree with everyone but her lol! When someone's suffering pain and blood pressure goes up more bad can happen and if someone's dying why make them go out wishing they would go out faster to end the pain? Quality of life and death matter
As hard as it is sometimes we just have to say good-bye.
Make sure that they will follow your directives because they do not have to once they are in control - they are in charge at that point. Make sure that whoever is the one you choose WILL follow your wishes.
When I'm dying I hope they have a heavy hand with that Fentanyl or any other drug they got.
Life support with just O2! 😂
Let him go. Don't be selfish about someone you love. ❤
My sister is a Psychotherapist & an End of Life Consultant & Advocate. She *Always* talks about Death Literacy. The more you know & plan ahead, the better off you & your loved ones/friends are.
[blows out a long breath]
I keep forgetting some of Steveioe's videos can get heavy like this.
As others have said, PLEASE set up advance directives. And talk to your family about yours and theirs.
(Personal note: My dad isn't comfortable talking about his, but he assured me he at least has one. That way I don't have to figure things out on the fly. My husband and I already have ours, and know what's on each others'. Including what happens with the kids if we both go.)
My daddy died of respiratory failure and was on hospice. My brother didn't want him *drugged*.
He's not a health care professional and was clueless. Mom & I were RNs & made sure he was kept comfortable.
This is why I brow beat my mom after her triple bypass to get the necessary forms filled out. My sister may be a nurse practitioner and look at things from a logically medical standpoint with everyone and everything else, but when it’s someone or something that means something to her, forget it. She doesn’t have the common sense to let go. I do. So I told my mom she had a choice, my sister trying desperately to keep her alive when there was no hope or me letting her go when there was no hope. Yeah, she knows who the good daughter is now. I’ll let her go.
I'd like to minimize my suffering as well.
Wow. Not all of us Appalachian Hillbillies are hopped up on drugs
Oh my God those are his last words! L O LL O L
"Oh, I guess there was a little left in the tank, after all!" LOL! Right?!
This skit should be on the soap opera- "One Life to Live". And it speaks the truth. Amen!🙏
Hospice nurse here. THANK U for posting this one. We don’t talk about this enough and sometimes humor can plant a much needed seed. U da best. :)
Unfortunately this controversy happens way too often, it's absolutely so sad.
I think that a lot of people are not aware of the process of dying really is, because out systems tend to focus on keeping people alive and not on letting them die. People and some medical professionals are concerned with life and not death as the goal. There’s likely that some consider the death of a patient as a failure on their part.
I have been in tears for a minute because these skits are so funny lol LOL LOL you are great at what you do and it is such an intelligent humor. Please keep it up
What's so funny about this one?
Not sure I'd want to spend my rally on a 3rd opinion LOL
(if you're not sure what a rally is, look up hospice care)
My granddad always said, he didn't want to become a breathing meatball.
It was hard for us to say goodbye but that's what he wanted
I was waiting for her to say "drug him up as much as possible" after his comment. Then watch her storm away. Alternative ending 😅
My grandpa died yesterday morning so this hits home.
So true ❤ People really need to think of the patient, not of their own selfish emotional needs👍👍👍
"Guess there was a little left in the tank..." 😂😂😂😂😂
Unrelated story, I am a worker at kind of a make a wish foundation and an old guy had a wish, before he was on life support he decided to come out to me and say he immensely missed his boyfriend but they had to breakup because of societal norms, he asked me to summon it so he could spend his last moments with him and not the woman who he was forced to marry, the wife wanted him to live as long as possible but they both denied and he only allowed him to be in the room with him, not even his children. painful but heartwarming
"Guess there was a little gas left in the tank after all..." 😂
There are soo many patient family members at the hospital that i work at where they keep there family member alive because they arent ready to go. One of the patients that i have is vented and trached and comes to the hospital every other week for complications and the family members WONT let her go. Yes it is very sad but at the end of the day do you think that is how they want to be kept.
To people who would most definitely do this if something horrible happened to a family member: don't. Just don't. If this is what the hospital is saying then this means they'll die anyway. And it's better to have a painless death than a painful one. Drugs aren't always bad, and the hospital never does overdoses and never makes patients take illegal drugs.
It’s very difficult to make that decision to let a loved one go when their at the end of life. I went through that with my dad. My dad told us he didn’t want to be on life support to just let him go. It was very difficult to do but I wanted to respect his end of life wishes.
A video like this makes me glad that I don't have children and am a widow. I can happily put DNR on my records and make a living will to prevent anybody from trying to keep me alive. If my end is near and I'm in pain I want all the pain med available and be allowed to drift away peacefully.
My dad , ex nurse " pull the plug!!!! If no-one else will listen I know you will". I will!
I might be in my 20s but after seeing what happened with my Papaw and in the medical field now I’ve already got what I want in my head and vocalized to family just in case something happens. Still plan to get an advanced directive at some point. You never know. Albeit personally the only way I’d prolong my time was if my family members were still not there to say goodbye. Once they do it’d be lights out.
Not the first time I’ve seen that happen.
If you are over the age of 18, PLEASE get your Advanced Care Directives in order.
*If people don't follow my end of life wishes, I will be laughing up at them from hell*
This is why I believe that adult children should not be asked to make the end-of-life decision for their parents. Assign a trusted friend, cousin, sibling. Anyone but your kids who not only may want to hold on but have to live with, I told them to pull the plug in Mom.
That’s not always the case. When my mother was dying, my father and brothers were all in agreement that hospice was the way she wanted to die. Her sisters were the ones who fought us and made the end of my mother’s life far more stressful than it should have.
Sometimes the "last hurrah" can be very poignant.
I love your videos. 😅
My wife gets mad at me because I will talk about advance directives with strangers at the grocery store. I don’t have to know you to know your family probably can’t handle it, especially if you’re so young no one thought you’d need one.
these kill me! (Pun intended) as an RN all of this is so true! People who haven’t seen “dad” in years show up and act concerned….for his SS check….
You dont wont him to be in pain.
"You know, we make him comfortable, give him a little fentanyl..."
"Wait, like drugs?"
"Yes, ma'am. Drugs. FREE AND COMPLETELY LEGAL DRUGS. I know father wants that. I would wants that"
My mum wasn't on life support but the drugs to keep her comfortable on her last few hours were hurting her..I had to call someone to ask for the meds to be stopped...I just watched her go...at 7:10pm on 09-03-2016 my mum left this mortal existence
😂
Sorry hun, that's bullcrap.
@@Tantejayhuh???
@@blind6745 cold
@@blind6745 bro you can't be laughing at this, somebody's mother freaking DIED and you're just laughing?! Are you a psychopath?!