I have always felt that the church looks down on me for being single. At my last church, we had almost 50 single people who literally came together and shared the sentiment that they felt marginalized by the church body. We sorely need to fix this attitude in order to win souls for the kingdom!
As the world gets more secular and even churches turning away from truth to be "woke", I would think it's better to be single than get involved in either of the previously mentioned
I talked to my my pastor of a church I formally went to and was sneered at for flocking together with other people who claimed the church was marginalizing singles...(I had shared with him some stories and quotes of singles struggling in the church)...
It's mostly likely the spirit of fear working overtime, making them fearful of their spouse being stolen by someone single. It's messed up, but when you start to look at the root, you will see the spirit of fearf and lust lingering in there somewhere. The enemy is working overtime to keep the people divided.
Very insightful interview on "dating", marriage and being single. As per my personal experience and after 45 years of marriage, raising 11 children and blessed with 10 grandchildren i want to share Jesus's advise in Mathew 6:33, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Like all things in life that we need and event want God is able to give us the best once we put our trust in Him. If a man and woman allow God to be the center of their lives things will take their proper perspective.
I met my husband online 3 years ago! It was so helpful to get to know him, learn his intentions, and assess his spiritual maturity before ever meeting him in person and getting too attached. Also he’s so cute it was pretty much game over for me once we went on our first date 😂 I was hooked!
I would love to share my story. It's still ongoing...I'm trying to get out of my own way and let God lead. I'm getting there. Having a child saved my life, got me out of a terrible relationship, got me sober, and most importantly........brought me to God.
It's extremely difficult, especially online if one is not exceptionally good-looking. I've been on Catholic-only dating sites for many years with zero dates. Very few singles even attend mass these days, so meeting someone at church is statistically nigh-impossible.
I would like to hear more discussion about how singles are to find community in the church, as the reality is that most church folks really do marginalize singles.
I agree. Singles are very much left out. This is wrong. We attended a church in our early days that was not like this. We fellowshipped as a family should, all ages and walks of life together. It was a small church. I do think that it is hard to achieve this in a big church.
This is how I felt! The single men at my church were slim pickings. I ended up meeting my husband (who lived 100 miles away) online after exhausting all options in my local church community.
@@BeckyCoon happy for you! Congratulations. I have a feeling as a single Christian man that my situation will be the same thing. Other than me just walking up to a girl that is hopefully at least 20 years old and asking her out in church. Which kinda has a stigma to it. Not that I care. But thank goodness for dating apps!
No lie: the non-denominational church I attended a few weeks ago had an "Alpha marriage" class, where the main argument they presented was how to "make marriage fun again". Good grief! I've been looking for a new church ever since.
This gentleman is very wise and really spoke to me. I am a married woman. But I have similar testimony to his. Doing things Gods way; is so rewarding. Hard at times but rewarding. When finding a partner remember to give that individual to the Lord. Seek his wisdom and counsel on the matter. Everyone’s love story is different. The Lord knows what you need. Don’t compare your relationship to others. I always used to see other strong Christian couples who did everything right at the beginning and I would feel I could never be like that. I had a heavy sinful past before Christ but the Lord brought me a man who didn’t care about the past and loves me for me. God formed Eve from Adams rib. She fit him. Therefore the man/woman God has for you will fit YOU. I hope this make sense. To God be the glory in all we do. God bless.
This dude.......as a single woman I can not applaud him more for telling folks to tell their Christian brothers and sisters to help them find a spouse. I’ve been doing that for a long while now and so many of my single friends think that’s so desperate while they’re the one’s on dating apps and swiping.
When people actually listen to what you’re looking for and are willing to help you look then I can see asking folks to help me look. But most of the people always end up suggesting guys there is no way I’m compatible with. Like, they didn’t even listen to one thing I told them I’m looking for in a man! Sometimes the guy doesn’t even pass the true Christian test at the first meeting🙈I do not do the dating app stuff at all. THAT feels desperate to me.
Love this! I was always the single girl in college who felt like she would never find a husband. It was after I let go and let God that I met my husband while preparing for a mission trip. We got married 8 months to the day after we started dating. God wants us to seek Him first, in all things!
I was my husband's first girlfriend, and within a few weeks of our friendship I knew I wanted him as my head, my priest, and my best friend. A year later we were married. Now four years married we have two under two. Celibacy was not for me.
Good thing for us single Christians Christ loves us not for our character or us "clicking" instantly with him but out of his divine will. I can never imagine that a person within weeks realizes that another stranger is one flesh and spirit with each other. That's some sort of blessed miracle for sure.
@@Thaumazo I don't believe in soul mates, so that makes it easier to not get trapped into the "one and only" mentality. It really was a God thing, and honestly since Ryan and I even started talking Satan was trying everything to keep us from getting together, then in marriage the same thing. I know that it was Satan trying to separate us because the more godly I became as the result of Ryan's obedience to God, and my obedient response, the more the enemy threw at us. Ryan got me in the bible, out of black (a physical manifestation of my oppression), out of my comfort zone, and told me I'm worth a godly marriage. He did all that in those few weeks. He was a virgin on our wedding night, his first kiss after my dad pronounced us husband and wife. We're not perfect at all. However, together through love and submission we're growing into the people God wants us to be.
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 I'm sorry sister for my passive aggression. In my frustration I interpreted your initial comment as if you were boasting in your privilege of having a godly partner. But I see now that is not the case. Being single for most of my life except for a short period where I was yoked with an unbeliever which expectedly ended disastrously, I can never BEGIN to imagine someone other than my friend and Saviour Jesus changing and loving me that much even amongst my most faithful Christian friends. Forgive my ill intent and I hope you have a blessed marriage in Christ.
Thanks for emphasizing on this topic Allie. It's so true that we be cautious on the profiles we see online, and try to know more about the person we are dealing with. More anointing to your channel.
This was such a fruitful conversation 🙌 Loved both the questions & the answers, it has really confirmed my heart and I pray it will continue to magnify the Lord ♥️
A saying that has much good truth behind it...but sadly for those people who are single and alone and choosing to live godly lives, it is only vinegar on a wound because the message is, you are never enough and you have to keep trying to be enough...but enough is nothing. God allowed Adam to see his need for a partner back during the beginning of time. Adam was a person who needed a partner. God did not tell him, “Adam, don’t need flesh of you flesh.”
🙏🏻 Yes! The commitment carries you, but if you have a marriage of service to one another you can make it fun 😁 P.S. we met on Tinder. Our first conversations were about God. My husband was incredibly attracted to how passionate I am about my faith. So even Tinder has Cristians on it lol
This was such a great interview Allie and thank you for your wisdom Jon! As a believer in a relationship with another believer, it was so refreshing to hear applicable wisdom to help with our relationship and the refocus at the end was super great as well. :D
The divorce rate among regular, involved, faithful church attending Christians is significantly lower than 50% according to The Good News About Marriage and the research they did in writing that book. Please have the authors on.
Thank you so much for this video! I immediately went and looked up his Facebook page and Instagram account and started listening. Lol I happen to be in another category single but I've been divorced. We're a whole new group with some of the same problems. It's depressing to go to church when most people my age are married. If not their spouse has passed. I'm looking for a good godly man again.
I often lament that the church has largely relegated the task of matchmaking to Tinder, bars, and schools instead of trying to match Christians with other Christians in the congregation or in the larger church.
Maybe you can address this in the future with your guest? What about single Christian mom’s who find themselves without a spouse/father for their chil(ren) for whatever reason. How should they, if at all pursue, finding a mate in this context of being single? Thank you
The Bible addresses this. Remarriage is only something the Bible approves if the spouse has died. Remarriage after divorce is adultery. Not my opinion but what the Bible says. Hard to swallow but truth is never easy
Jesus Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all .
I'd rather find a wife than to miss out on having a family and an established future. Christ Jesus call his church his bride. Marriage is a wonderful thing if you find someone who is right for you.
@@dathip I meant to have an established family. One should have a choice wether or not to be married. I prefer to be married one day. I think we all need a helper or spouse because it isn't good to be alone.
@@Joseph45483 "it's just not" doesnt answer the question. It begs it. I get why GOD gave adam eve but It doesnt answer the question on why its not good to be alone.
How do you marry properly without a pastor? I don’t have a “church” and most are closed now that I have stepped out of the world and given my life back to Christ. I was backslider for years. I just want to do the right thing now. I’ve been with my boyfriend foe 10 years and we are seeking God with a fierceness. How do we now unite in Christ now for marriage? I especially do not trust the government and we are not married with out all the government paperwork.
That’s sickening that all of the churches around you are closed. Keep looking and praying for a church to grow in. Until you find one you can prob call around and find a pastor willing to do it. God bless you as you seek Christ together! 🙏🏼❤️
He’s right with his comments on marriage in the church. Often singles are viewed as incomplete or broken, and there’s a lack of singles departments, when there are more singles than there ever have been before. However I do disagree with on the apps. There are NO men in church. To meet singles if you don’t get set up or happen to meet via friends (most when you get older are taken), you have to be on the apps, because let’s be honest there are no single men and it’s hard to find singles groups at most churches to even meet single friends.
Unfortunately I live in NYC at the moment. I'd rather stay alone than involve myself with all these effete, self-righteous, degenerate Progressive Princesses that dominate here. I'm moving to a small town to find the moral Christian Woman of my dreams. Never settle, gents!
@@darkcircles06 Thank you. I know there are phonies in any environment. Same with churches...things are not always as they seem. You have to look out for any red flags. God bless you, sister! 🙏
😃 Ah, I'm from New York City too; Queens to be exact! Anyway, you actually have a BETTER chance of finding the right romantic partner in such a large city. You just have to keep your head up.
I can’t imagine being a Christian in NyC thats single. I know a girl (she’s not believer) and she told me what dating was like and I was floored. Basically the men think dinner equals sex. It made me so sad to hear
I think it's presumptious for him to say that dating apps are what his kids friends will be using. Like many who have turned to dating apps, most thought they'll end up meeting a spouse in the conventional way too.
Wow, I didn't know this about the satanic bible and all of these common things said every day in our culture come from that, but it makes complete sense.
Yes, culture is constantly telling us to do whatever we want as long as it feels good. This is in direct contradiction with following Jesus, in contradiction with the God of the Bible. There is an assumption that there are types of sin that don’t hurt anyone and we are entitled to act in anyway we choose. This also directly contradicts what the Bible says about humans, sin, morality and evil. It is literally a fundamental statement of the Wiccan creed and satanic bible.
At least 30 years of waiting. 50 now and no longer care either, or ! (I don’t really want anyone with a pile of kids and a list of Xs behind her, nor one that’s all worn out from fooling around for all these years with them Paul Walker looking pretty boys whom some call “alpha males” which kicked them to the curve as soon as the fun was over and now find themselves in their 40s, barren, lonely and desperate to find a fool to take care of them and put up with their “mentalpause” insanity !). I learned to be content with just me, my boat, fair winds in the sails and calm following seas !
Just regarding the comments beginning at 6:40, I want to point out that the argumentum ad populum (Latin for "appeal to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes that a proposition must be true because many or most people believe it, often concisely encapsulated as: "If many believe so, it is so". The fact is that today there are probably far more devout practicing Muslims than Christians and 2,000 years ago the Roman deity Jupiter was enormously popular while Jesus was not yet heard of. Does that prove anything about Islam or Roman paganism? Regarding dating, the early church seems to have leaned strongly toward celibacy not marriage. Jesus, the apostles and Paul were all lifelong bachelors as far as we know. Monastic life was hugely important throughout Christian history.
There's a big problem with the modern dating world, especially prevalent in the church. Firstly, single women in the church often feel a lot of pressure if they're even spotted talking to a guy. Asking one of them out for a coffee (someone you've known a while) is treated as if you've asked them to marry you, when you really just wanted to get to know them a bit better.... Secondly, because the dating pool has expanded, women are all waiting for their prince charming - it's no longer good enough to just be a good, stable guy who loves God - because of the global sexual market place, women now compare you to everyone else, and while some "hotter" guys may date them (okay lets be honest, they'll sleep with some hotter guys), those same "hotter" guys are not guys who are even interested in a relationship, and these girls end up 40yrs old, alone with their career and wonder where they went wrong, having spent their youth chasing these player types who were only after sex, not a relationship. Finally, as women have earned more, they still expect to marry someone who earns more than them, and this has shrunken the available dating pool. We've all heard about the six 6's that women are after (Six foot tall, 6 figure income, 6 pack abs, at least 6 months since his last relationship, at least 6 inches below the belt, and a 600 horsepower car)... well, that doesn't leave a lot of guys - I'm being a bit facetious with the 6 sixes thing, but the mindset is real, if not the particular application of these rules. In the USA, only 14.5% of men are over 6ft tall... that means a large percentage of single girls are only interested in 14.5% of the men... add in the 6 figure income and that drops to maybe 2%, add in the 6 pack abs and that will drop to under 1% easily... add in the rest and you have a big percent of women fighting over basically 4 guys, and simply not interested in the rest. Adding to this, the church has jumped on the feelings bandwagon, and so you have to feel it's right... and the types of mature, stable, God-fearing, marriage-minded men in the church are simply not the same guys who create those intense feelings of passion that the girls are looking for, and even if they could conjure up those feelings in women, it would still take those women actually taking some time to get to know them first, which simply isn't happening. The fact of the matter is women in church have simply become too fussy for their own good. I've asked out many, and been rejected - in fact I've even been rejected by girls I never asked out!!!! This is a specific problem in the church because I have no problem dating non-Christian girls, but I'm simply not interested in them.
You’ve nailed it ! At my age (50) finding that one woman over 40 that doesn’t have a pile of kids and a list of Xs behind her or is not all worn out from fooling around for all these years with the “pretty boys alphas”, 6+ feet tall and looking like Paul Walker, it’s like finding that proverbial needle in an haystack. So I gave up on the idea of marriage and I’m trying my best to please the Lord and occupy here till I’ll either go to the Lord or He’ll come get us !
Every successful married couple I know , when asked how they knew they wanted to marry their spouse the answer is the same, “when you know, you know.” Usually by the second date. So I think that’s very important. I also know couples who’ve done what he recommends and they have nothing but trouble. Of course we don’t look for milk like we look for a spouse!
What if your parents, and the parents of a mature, faithful Christian man, got together and arranged your marriage? Could you grow to love him if both of you were wholeheartedly following Jesus? In other words, are you in control of your feelings, or do feelings mysteriously come and go?
Yes. She said it perfectly. Then I see women around me settle for men who treat them poorly because those men aren’t “as bad” as other men they’ve dated.
In the 70s and 80s when I was single, the farther the singles group was agewise out from college, the fewer men there were. The last Christian guy I dated before I met my (then) nonbelieving husband was a clingy, needy little manchild who showed up uninvited at my doorstep after the second date (and I told him specifically that I would be busy) to talk about how he was hoping that our relationship was "going somewhere". He'd been in and out of jobs and vocational school. He had no ambitions or life goals. I ended up marrying a co-worker; a quiet, shy nerd engineer 32 years ago. God has worked miracles in his family. His oldest brother and SIL both became Christians. His closest friends are Christians. Maybe I should have stayed single, but I wouldn't trade any of the past 32 years for anything.
If you are a woman looking for a Christian man i would suggest visiting other churches. Look for men, particularly ones that are serving in the worship without a ring or a female close to their side. If they are serving, they have obviously put in the time to establish themselves, and being dedicated to serve can prevent them from visiting other churches.
In all fairness, I realize that the following comments come from my anecdotal experiences: More negative in this episode than positive, and I usually enjoy Stuckey's doctrinal stances. I come from the extreme purity & courtship culture of the cult of Bill Gothard which The Duggars are in. How's that been playing out for them? When people like Pokluda and my parents come to Jesus after sowing their wild oats, they often have a tendency to embrace the other extreme, to keep their disciples from the same traumas. The Church, more often than not, pats singles on the head and tells us we, "have time." Like many things in life, doing something well takes time and practice. The idea that we can practice singleness, to the exclusion of not practicing partnership, and then we'll just pivot and be successful is naive at best, and neglectful at worst. Past our early 20s, we don't have time, and even if we start at 25, we've missed 5+ years of practice at partnerships which are supposed to last the rest of our lives (ua-cam.com/video/vhhgI4tSMwc/v-deo.html). Those well meaning church folks haven't been for us around when it comes time to jam us up and tell us that the time to invest is getting short. Pokluda smacks of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which has been just as disastrous and defiling for my generation, as well as the author (who had embraced the other extreme after his trauma ua-cam.com/video/D2kV4ngi7J4/v-deo.html), as the sexual revolution has been. The answer isn't for us to be in cults of extremes, in order to comfort ourselves by creating our own perfect circles of protection. Those systems have as spectacular a history of failure as has Marxism. We should be whole and well-balanced human beings. "Purity" should be a means to an end, not the goal, or dare I say an idol. The idea that we desire marriage to "keep up with the Joneses," is headscratchingly misguided. We want it because soul-crushing loneliness when we're gonna be old is a grim prospect. Families have been torn apart by their adult children's choice of spouse? Yes, it is painful for caretakers, who are inappropriately possessive of and enmeshed/triangulated with their charges, to have them leave, cleave, and live their own unique lives which God intended them to live. Only dating people we know severely limits the dating pool, in a pool which is already severely limited due to lack of quality people. No one's gotten to Heaven and asked God, regretfully, why He kept them single? This is an oversimplification and quite frankly lazy thinking. We would never say that having cancer or being sexually assaulted in this life doesn't matter because it won't matter in Heaven. All and all, I'm sure these hosts are well-intentioned and generally good people, but this ain't a perfect strikeout: some of these ideas are balls. The Church does itself no favors by accepting legalistic ideas, just because they seem better than the hedonism the world offers.
@Clay Casassa This is an older comment by now obviously, but you make a lot of good points here: *No one's gotten to Heaven and asked God, regretfully, why He kept them single? This is an oversimplification and quite frankly lazy thinking. We would never say that having cancer or being sexually assaulted in this life doesn't matter because it won't matter in Heaven. All and all, I'm sure these hosts are well-intentioned and generally good people, but this ain't a perfect strikeout: some of these ideas are balls. The Church does itself no favors by accepting legalistic ideas, just because they seem better than the hedonism the world offers* . Very well put.
It's odd that you're getting so many women saying they cannot find a Christian man. In my church, they stopped having singles meeting events because only men like myself were showing up.
Maybe god doesn't want you to have a soul mate. You should seriously consider that. You shouldn't go against god's plan. If its not happening-its not happening for a reason.
The church really looks down on singles and marginalizes them. They do not invest in their single members. Also, this pastor is not saying anything new that every other Pastor hasn't said. Be the partner you want, old news. I am 50 and never married and really tired of hearing that same ole line and doing the right thing for decades and still nothing. Tell me something other people aren't saying.
I feel this too. I'm not 50 yet and I'm already tired of the subtle jabs at single people's character and faith. "Work on yourself" and "focus on putting God first" get old really fast.
I feel the hurt in your comment, and I sympathize with the pain that you have. I struggled with the exact same thoughts living as a single adult. The Lord taught me personally that marriage is a gift, but that means I don't deserve it, and it's not something that I am promised in God's Word. I can't do "all the right things" and be rewarded with a husband. My focus has to be on my personal relationship with the Lord growing in love for Him and others. That is my primary role in life, whether married or single. Yes, not having something we've always wanted does hurt, but the truth is still that we just have to pour our hearts out to the Lord and submit to what He wisely brings into our lives. Just to give context, I was single for 16 years and have only now been married for two. I am now waiting on the Lord for something else that I've always wanted but have no guarantee that He will grant. This is the reality of life on this side of heaven. However, I do get to choose my focus and my attitude. I hope this is encouraging as it was certainly meant that way.
@@alanimason-callaway6720 yes! The advice is always along the lines of you’re doing something wrong to not be married, basically Saying they did something right to be married.
True. We should definitely go back to the days of sending a servant to distant lands find a spouse. Or perhaps go lay at your chosen mate's feet while he sleeps and ask him to propose marriage. Maybe we ladies should demand that our potential husbands should defeat our father's enemies in order to win our hand.🤔
Dating today is a total disaster. ContraPoints (youtuber) has the unique experience of dating on both teams. She has said women drown in a sea of cock & men get totally ignored without even getting a chance. Dating is reverting to the stone age where the top 10% of men get 80% women. When most men are single & sexless, conflict & wars break out. Men and women also burn out and give up after years of failure with dating. The whole situation is sad. No one should be single forever if they don't want to be.
It's like Jesus and Paul showed guys we should be red-pilled... After being divorced because my ex decided she wanted *more stuff* - the whole idea of marriage for guys - at least for today - is just crazy. When you think about the creep of feminism, entitlement and soaring expectations, the 50% divorce rate even in the church, guys lose in court 90%+ of the time, have to pay alimony, lose their assets, their homes and their children? Is that *equality?* Which part of that is supposed to look appealing from a man's perspective? And aside from that, today's dating culture is *hookup* everywhere, even in church. If you've tried to behave a certain way, chances are the other hasn't. And while yes, 100% God can find a perfect person, typically the good ones are already taken. Paul had it right. Red pill, guys.
I dislike whoever invented dating very much. Not all women are out to get stuff. I lost my bottom in my divorce. I was young and stupid and have learned the hard way. Like Sampson. I am completely over dating, the hook up culture and everything that goes with it. I have no children either. Sadly, I see your argument full of bitterness and anger and hate. As a 40 yr old single woman I often get called a lesbian. Nothing is further from the truth. I do not believe in that lifestyle. I do not believe a man or a woman are more valuable than another. Each of us have roles that God intended for us to have. The world is so upside down. By women wanting to be equal to men, they’ve lost what makes them most special. I’ve been stalked by men on the internet and in real life. This world is a mess. Like an Elijah, I’m exhausted form trying to keep up with all this rules of dating engagement. I’ve dropped the expectations of others for me to date. I’m marginalized by my entire family as I’m the only single person. Truth be told, I am over fending off men who just want a woman who looks like a ten on their mattress before he knows her name. I truly feel if Jesus wants me to have a partner, then he will make me trip over him. 🤷🏼♀️
@@cs4370 Hi Christina Maybe a little bitter but not angry or hateful. Just... over it also. I've learned as you have growing up in church and the Word each partner's roles. To trust the Lord implicitly. I'm honestly one of the fortunate ones. My kids actually live with me. But to do it all again? When the risks/deck is stacked so heavily against men? At home, in court, even in public opinion? Lesson = learned. Honestly it stinks. Our culture that is. People's shallowness or obedience to scripture is lacking. Treating marriage like it's disposable. It's ugly out there. As to your last statement, I wholeheartedly concur (the tripping). 🤣
@@GlennRiccobono I agree. Thanks for taking the feedback openly and kindly. My biggest lie in my life was until death do is part. There is nothing I can do to undo that. God spared me children but gave me a clean break. There was a large worldly cost. Marriage was not about me having a husband and sharing him. I did study women’s studies in college. The positioning of ‘feminism’ was radically different. I was invited to continue to my masters by many professors. My personal beliefs and my theology was different from what I was being fed. I witnessed this social normative phenomenon for many years. I believe I have a right to vote, to speak up in government, business and exercise my second amendment. I purchased my own home prior to marriage. I don’t think those things are radical. Women couldn’t get a credit card without their husbands consent in the 70s! That was our parents lifetime!!!! I didn’t know what the inside of the church was since I was 17. I can’t speak for what happens in one. I study with a small group now. I can speak on why I left. It’s not pretty. I got lost in New Age modern theologies. Unfortunately, I see them all over the church. I have since refuted all of that theology and movement. Only by Gods grace....trust me - spiritual deception lights it’s own fire for the truth. I recently spoke to a minister as I will defend myself, I enjoy my Harley Davidson very much. I camp alone, traveled alone at times for many days...I don’t want a man’s role - but what other has stepped in? I don’t believe children should be in a broken home. I don’t believe in abortion. I don’t believe it’s Gods will for a woman to end a life inside of her. That’s radical feminism. Its sad to see so many single people. The kids suffer and society becomes more ungodly. As a divorced woman who’s ex husband is still alive (not that I have the faintest idea of any happenings of his life) why would I have a believer commit adultery to even find partnership? I’m not going to have my own children - that ship has sailed. To what benefit would I ever bring of any man? I can’t do the online dating - at all. Everywhere I go it’s the weirdest thing to people. That someone is single and doesn’t want to put effort into the worldly concept of dating. Modern radical femininity is no other than a decisive action to the real body of believers. There’s enough division at play for all those who believe. We truly have destroyed ourselves. It makes me so sad to see this. Only Jesus can fix all of this mess. I keep telling myself God knows what he’s doing and there is nothing new under the sun. Sorry for my rant - this is a topic that has people feeling crappy and worthless a lot. Being single isn’t a curse. Being with the wrong person is, being without God through Jesus is death. It’s all much worse than singleness as he said.
I'm not religious but I would have no problem with having a religious wife , but I have not met any religious woman that would marry outside of their religion . Perhaps Religious people should consider a more live and let live out look , just saying.
@@TrevorSullivan That is their right of course , but that is often also a de-facto decision to remain single. You can say "I will never compromise" but there are a lot of good people in the world that you are shutting the door on that could enrich your life while you are here on earth.
@@robertlackey7212 But we don’t believe just in life here on earth. We believe we have eternal souls and our decisions impact eternity, not just the here & now. The goal isn’t worldly comfort while we’re here, Christ calls us beyond that. Those eternal callings and beliefs critical to how we live our lives as Christians won’t be shared by a spouse unless Jesus is the common denominator for both.
@@robertlackey7212 Work on your own relationship with God, gain an understanding of who He is and who you are compared to Him. You’ll worry much less about the path and discipline of those who know and love Him.
Human sexuality was not “invented” any differently than animal sexuality was. All the same parts to reproduce. It’s weird to hear it described as some godly invention.
I have always felt that the church looks down on me for being single. At my last church, we had almost 50 single people who literally came together and shared the sentiment that they felt marginalized by the church body. We sorely need to fix this attitude in order to win souls for the kingdom!
True- as a single mother I have felt this way at times.
As the world gets more secular and even churches turning away from truth to be "woke", I would think it's better to be single than get involved in either of the previously mentioned
Yes - Discrimination against singles in the church (even if it's unintentional) is very real.
I talked to my my pastor of a church I formally went to and was sneered at for flocking together with other people who claimed the church was marginalizing singles...(I had shared with him some stories and quotes of singles struggling in the church)...
It's mostly likely the spirit of fear working overtime, making them fearful of their spouse being stolen by someone single. It's messed up, but when you start to look at the root, you will see the spirit of fearf and lust lingering in there somewhere. The enemy is working overtime to keep the people divided.
Very insightful interview on "dating", marriage and being single. As per my personal experience and after 45 years of marriage, raising 11 children and blessed with 10 grandchildren i want to share Jesus's advise in Mathew 6:33, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Like all things in life that we need and event want God is able to give us the best once we put our trust in Him. If a man and woman allow God to be the center of their lives things will take their proper perspective.
I met my husband online 3 years ago! It was so helpful to get to know him, learn his intentions, and assess his spiritual maturity before ever meeting him in person and getting too attached. Also he’s so cute it was pretty much game over for me once we went on our first date 😂 I was hooked!
I think I’m on this track lol pray for me
I would love to share my story. It's still ongoing...I'm trying to get out of my own way and let God lead. I'm getting there. Having a child saved my life, got me out of a terrible relationship, got me sober, and most importantly........brought me to God.
Amen!!
Jesus Christ is our Redeemer 👑 praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all
The Lord's prayer......THY will be done, Not my will!!! Great message!!!
It's extremely difficult, especially online if one is not exceptionally good-looking. I've been on Catholic-only dating sites for many years with zero dates. Very few singles even attend mass these days, so meeting someone at church is statistically nigh-impossible.
I would like to hear more discussion about how singles are to find community in the church, as the reality is that most church folks really do marginalize singles.
For sure. I'm Catholic and the churches do nothing to help singles meet; they used to facilitate marriages and now simply don't care.
I agree. Singles are very much left out. This is wrong. We attended a church in our early days that was not like this. We fellowshipped as a family should, all ages and walks of life together. It was a small church. I do think that it is hard to achieve this in a big church.
This is how I felt! The single men at my church were slim pickings. I ended up meeting my husband (who lived 100 miles away) online after exhausting all options in my local church community.
@@BeckyCoon happy for you! Congratulations. I have a feeling as a single Christian man that my situation will be the same thing. Other than me just walking up to a girl that is hopefully at least 20 years old and asking her out in church. Which kinda has a stigma to it. Not that I care. But thank goodness for dating apps!
No lie: the non-denominational church I attended a few weeks ago had an "Alpha marriage" class, where the main argument they presented was how to "make marriage fun again". Good grief! I've been looking for a new church ever since.
This gentleman is very wise and really spoke to me. I am a married woman. But I have similar testimony to his. Doing things Gods way; is so rewarding. Hard at times but rewarding. When finding a partner remember to give that individual to the Lord. Seek his wisdom and counsel on the matter. Everyone’s love story is different. The Lord knows what you need. Don’t compare your relationship to others. I always used to see other strong Christian couples who did everything right at the beginning and I would feel I could never be like that. I had a heavy sinful past before Christ but the Lord brought me a man who didn’t care about the past and loves me for me. God formed Eve from Adams rib. She fit him. Therefore the man/woman God has for you will fit YOU. I hope this make sense. To God be the glory in all we do. God bless.
Don't worry that heavy sinful past is the same in most women....
I prayed specifically when I prayed for my spouse (and wrote it down), and encouraged my sons to do the same.
Very smart to have your sons write it down.
This dude.......as a single woman I can not applaud him more for telling folks to tell their Christian brothers and sisters to help them find a spouse. I’ve been doing that for a long while now and so many of my single friends think that’s so desperate while they’re the one’s on dating apps and swiping.
When people actually listen to what you’re looking for and are willing to help you look then I can see asking folks to help me look. But most of the people always end up suggesting guys there is no way I’m compatible with. Like, they didn’t even listen to one thing I told them I’m looking for in a man! Sometimes the guy doesn’t even pass the true Christian test at the first meeting🙈I do not do the dating app stuff at all. THAT feels desperate to me.
Love this! I was always the single girl in college who felt like she would never find a husband. It was after I let go and let God that I met my husband while preparing for a mission trip. We got married 8 months to the day after we started dating. God wants us to seek Him first, in all things!
I was my husband's first girlfriend, and within a few weeks of our friendship I knew I wanted him as my head, my priest, and my best friend. A year later we were married. Now four years married we have two under two. Celibacy was not for me.
Good thing for us single Christians Christ loves us not for our character or us "clicking" instantly with him but out of his divine will. I can never imagine that a person within weeks realizes that another stranger is one flesh and spirit with each other. That's some sort of blessed miracle for sure.
@@Thaumazo I don't believe in soul mates, so that makes it easier to not get trapped into the "one and only" mentality. It really was a God thing, and honestly since Ryan and I even started talking Satan was trying everything to keep us from getting together, then in marriage the same thing. I know that it was Satan trying to separate us because the more godly I became as the result of Ryan's obedience to God, and my obedient response, the more the enemy threw at us. Ryan got me in the bible, out of black (a physical manifestation of my oppression), out of my comfort zone, and told me I'm worth a godly marriage. He did all that in those few weeks. He was a virgin on our wedding night, his first kiss after my dad pronounced us husband and wife.
We're not perfect at all. However, together through love and submission we're growing into the people God wants us to be.
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 I'm sorry sister for my passive aggression. In my frustration I interpreted your initial comment as if you were boasting in your privilege of having a godly partner. But I see now that is not the case. Being single for most of my life except for a short period where I was yoked with an unbeliever which expectedly ended disastrously, I can never BEGIN to imagine someone other than my friend and Saviour Jesus changing and loving me that much even amongst my most faithful Christian friends. Forgive my ill intent and I hope you have a blessed marriage in Christ.
Skeinofadifferentcolor
Of the 7billion people on the planet Satan chose you and your marriage to try and keep apart ?
Thank you for this video. I have been struggling with these exact questions for years and I found this dialogue greatly useful. God Bless!
Jesus Christ is King forever amen praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all
Thanks for emphasizing on this topic Allie. It's so true that we be cautious on the profiles we see online, and try to know more about the person we are dealing with. More anointing to your channel.
This was such a fruitful conversation 🙌 Loved both the questions & the answers, it has really confirmed my heart and I pray it will continue to magnify the Lord ♥️
Praise The Lord!!!!
I love the pastors heart and advice
Become the person a partner needs, not the person who needs a partner.
💖 amen.
A saying that has much good truth behind it...but sadly for those people who are single and alone and choosing to live godly lives, it is only vinegar on a wound because the message is, you are never enough and you have to keep trying to be enough...but enough is nothing. God allowed Adam to see his need for a partner back during the beginning of time. Adam was a person who needed a partner. God did not tell him, “Adam, don’t need flesh of you flesh.”
@@whowhatwherewhy1434 well said
A great saying in many ways... But it's over used and needs to be explained what your actually saying
It's Biblical to want to have someone with you. It's not wrong.
Great conversation. Thank you Allie!
🙏🏻 Yes! The commitment carries you, but if you have a marriage of service to one another you can make it fun 😁 P.S. we met on Tinder. Our first conversations were about God. My husband was incredibly attracted to how passionate I am about my faith. So even Tinder has Cristians on it lol
This was such a great interview Allie and thank you for your wisdom Jon! As a believer in a relationship with another believer, it was so refreshing to hear applicable wisdom to help with our relationship and the refocus at the end was super great as well. :D
This is GOOD content. I love JP.
Please make like 10 more of these with him.
This is the collaboration I didn’t know I needed.
Thank you for this!!
The divorce rate among regular, involved, faithful church attending Christians is significantly lower than 50% according to The Good News About Marriage and the research they did in writing that book. Please have the authors on.
Thank you so much for this video! I immediately went and looked up his Facebook page and Instagram account and started listening. Lol I happen to be in another category single but I've been divorced. We're a whole new group with some of the same problems. It's depressing to go to church when most people my age are married. If not their spouse has passed. I'm looking for a good godly man again.
I often lament that the church has largely relegated the task of matchmaking to Tinder, bars, and schools instead of trying to match Christians with other Christians in the congregation or in the larger church.
This. 👏
Maybe you can address this in the future with your guest? What about single Christian mom’s who find themselves without a spouse/father for their chil(ren) for whatever reason. How should they, if at all pursue, finding a mate in this context of being single? Thank you
The Bible addresses this. Remarriage is only something the Bible approves if the spouse has died. Remarriage after divorce is adultery. Not my opinion but what the Bible says. Hard to swallow but truth is never easy
@@bonnienava6570 No its allowed if the person who left was an unbeliever or there was divorce because of adultery.
Jesus Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all .
Where can I find a woman like Allie Stuckey?!
Haaay 🙋🏿♀️
Hi🙋🏻
Fair warning: I'm not nearly as good-looking as the fellow in my profile picture! 😉
@@calvinsbeard7423 well let's see!
So good, thank you both!
I'd rather find a wife than to miss out on having a family and an established future.
Christ Jesus call his church his bride.
Marriage is a wonderful thing if you find someone who is right for you.
you can have an established future without marriage. Many men in the bible did.
@@dathip I meant to have an established family. One should have a choice wether or not to be married. I prefer to be married one day.
I think we all need a helper or spouse because it isn't good to be alone.
@@Joseph45483 why isnt it good to be alone.
@@dathip it's just not if you desire a family and need a helper in life. God gave Adam Eve because he knew Adam needed a helper and a companion.
@@Joseph45483 "it's just not" doesnt answer the question. It begs it. I get why GOD gave adam eve but It doesnt answer the question on why its not good to be alone.
Love this episode !
Thank you for this interview.
How do you marry properly without a pastor? I don’t have a “church” and most are closed now that I have stepped out of the world and given my life back to Christ. I was backslider for years. I just want to do the right thing now. I’ve been with my boyfriend foe 10 years and we are seeking God with a fierceness. How do we now unite in Christ now for marriage? I especially do not trust the government and we are not married with out all the government paperwork.
That’s sickening that all of the churches around you are closed. Keep looking and praying for a church to grow in. Until you find one you can prob call around and find a pastor willing to do it. God bless you as you seek Christ together! 🙏🏼❤️
He’s right with his comments on marriage in the church. Often singles are viewed as incomplete or broken, and there’s a lack of singles departments, when there are more singles than there ever have been before. However I do disagree with on the apps. There are NO men in church. To meet singles if you don’t get set up or happen to meet via friends (most when you get older are taken), you have to be on the apps, because let’s be honest there are no single men and it’s hard to find singles groups at most churches to even meet single friends.
Thanku for this awesome learning session. Gave a lot of insight.
Thanks for this message
Loved this episode
Probably the only video of yours I clicked within a minute of it posting haha... Also what's with all the famous JPs?
Unfortunately I live in NYC at the moment. I'd rather stay alone than involve myself with all these effete, self-righteous, degenerate Progressive Princesses that dominate here. I'm moving to a small town to find the moral Christian Woman of my dreams. Never settle, gents!
What convinces you that you will find a moral Christian woman in a small town? Pray God will shine in you his perfect and good will for you
@@darkcircles06 Thank you. I know there are phonies in any environment. Same with churches...things are not always as they seem. You have to look out for any red flags. God bless you, sister! 🙏
😃 Ah, I'm from New York City too; Queens to be exact!
Anyway, you actually have a BETTER chance of finding the right romantic partner in such a large city. You just have to keep your head up.
I can’t imagine being a Christian in NyC thats single. I know a girl (she’s not believer) and she told me what dating was like and I was floored. Basically the men think dinner equals sex. It made me so sad to hear
I think it's presumptious for him to say that dating apps are what his kids friends will be using. Like many who have turned to dating apps, most thought they'll end up meeting a spouse in the conventional way too.
Love your channel!
Wow, I didn't know this about the satanic bible and all of these common things said every day in our culture come from that, but it makes complete sense.
Do as thou wilt is a tenant of the Satanic Bible. It’s also a common theme in the New Age theology.
Yes, culture is constantly telling us to do whatever we want as long as it feels good. This is in direct contradiction with following Jesus, in contradiction with the God of the Bible. There is an assumption that there are types of sin that don’t hurt anyone and we are entitled to act in anyway we choose. This also directly contradicts what the Bible says about humans, sin, morality and evil. It is literally a fundamental statement of the Wiccan creed and satanic bible.
when your fave podcast speaker and fave pastor collab!
I'm 33 and still waiting...
22 and praying...
34 and waiting...
At least 30 years of waiting.
50 now and no longer care either, or ! (I don’t really want anyone with a pile of kids and a list of Xs behind her, nor one that’s all worn out from fooling around for all these years with them Paul Walker looking pretty boys whom some call “alpha males” which kicked them to the curve as soon as the fun was over and now find themselves in their 40s, barren, lonely and desperate to find a fool to take care of them and put up with their “mentalpause” insanity !).
I learned to be content with just me, my boat, fair winds in the sails and calm following seas !
Just regarding the comments beginning at 6:40, I want to point out that the argumentum ad populum (Latin for "appeal to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes that a proposition must be true because many or most people believe it, often concisely encapsulated as: "If many believe so, it is so". The fact is that today there are probably far more devout practicing Muslims than Christians and 2,000 years ago the Roman deity Jupiter was enormously popular while Jesus was not yet heard of. Does that prove anything about Islam or Roman paganism?
Regarding dating, the early church seems to have leaned strongly toward celibacy not marriage. Jesus, the apostles and Paul were all lifelong bachelors as far as we know. Monastic life was hugely important throughout Christian history.
There's a big problem with the modern dating world, especially prevalent in the church. Firstly, single women in the church often feel a lot of pressure if they're even spotted talking to a guy. Asking one of them out for a coffee (someone you've known a while) is treated as if you've asked them to marry you, when you really just wanted to get to know them a bit better.... Secondly, because the dating pool has expanded, women are all waiting for their prince charming - it's no longer good enough to just be a good, stable guy who loves God - because of the global sexual market place, women now compare you to everyone else, and while some "hotter" guys may date them (okay lets be honest, they'll sleep with some hotter guys), those same "hotter" guys are not guys who are even interested in a relationship, and these girls end up 40yrs old, alone with their career and wonder where they went wrong, having spent their youth chasing these player types who were only after sex, not a relationship. Finally, as women have earned more, they still expect to marry someone who earns more than them, and this has shrunken the available dating pool. We've all heard about the six 6's that women are after (Six foot tall, 6 figure income, 6 pack abs, at least 6 months since his last relationship, at least 6 inches below the belt, and a 600 horsepower car)... well, that doesn't leave a lot of guys - I'm being a bit facetious with the 6 sixes thing, but the mindset is real, if not the particular application of these rules. In the USA, only 14.5% of men are over 6ft tall... that means a large percentage of single girls are only interested in 14.5% of the men... add in the 6 figure income and that drops to maybe 2%, add in the 6 pack abs and that will drop to under 1% easily... add in the rest and you have a big percent of women fighting over basically 4 guys, and simply not interested in the rest. Adding to this, the church has jumped on the feelings bandwagon, and so you have to feel it's right... and the types of mature, stable, God-fearing, marriage-minded men in the church are simply not the same guys who create those intense feelings of passion that the girls are looking for, and even if they could conjure up those feelings in women, it would still take those women actually taking some time to get to know them first, which simply isn't happening. The fact of the matter is women in church have simply become too fussy for their own good. I've asked out many, and been rejected - in fact I've even been rejected by girls I never asked out!!!! This is a specific problem in the church because I have no problem dating non-Christian girls, but I'm simply not interested in them.
This. 100%.
You’ve nailed it ! At my age (50) finding that one woman over 40 that doesn’t have a pile of kids and a list of Xs behind her or is not all worn out from fooling around for all these years with the “pretty boys alphas”, 6+ feet tall and looking like Paul Walker, it’s like finding that proverbial needle in an haystack. So I gave up on the idea of marriage and I’m trying my best to please the Lord and occupy here till I’ll either go to the Lord or He’ll come get us !
This chasm between men and women is irreconcilable and it’s gonna be one of triggers for the coming economic collapse.
Every successful married couple I know , when asked how they knew they wanted to marry their spouse the answer is the same, “when you know, you know.” Usually by the second date. So I think that’s very important. I also know couples who’ve done what he recommends and they have nothing but trouble. Of course we don’t look for milk like we look for a spouse!
What if your parents, and the parents of a mature, faithful Christian man, got together and arranged your marriage? Could you grow to love him if both of you were wholeheartedly following Jesus? In other words, are you in control of your feelings, or do feelings mysteriously come and go?
Where are these churches with a dearth of social activities? That’s interesting.
My church is very active. A Catholic Church in rural GA, nonetheless.
Now if only I wasn’t so hopelessly fatalistic and self loathing. After I work through that in about 50 years I’ll be all set.
Awesome! You went to Watermark?!
Allie always good. How is the pregnancy going?
Allie at 31:00. Thank you.
Yes. She said it perfectly. Then I see women around me settle for men who treat them poorly because those men aren’t “as bad” as other men they’ve dated.
In the 70s and 80s when I was single, the farther the singles group was agewise out from college, the fewer men there were. The last Christian guy I dated before I met my (then) nonbelieving husband was a clingy, needy little manchild who showed up uninvited at my doorstep after the second date (and I told him specifically that I would be busy) to talk about how he was hoping that our relationship was "going somewhere". He'd been in and out of jobs and vocational school. He had no ambitions or life goals. I ended up marrying a co-worker; a quiet, shy nerd engineer 32 years ago. God has worked miracles in his family. His oldest brother and SIL both became Christians. His closest friends are Christians. Maybe I should have stayed single, but I wouldn't trade any of the past 32 years for anything.
If you are a woman looking for a Christian man i would suggest visiting other churches. Look for men, particularly ones that are serving in the worship without a ring or a female close to their side. If they are serving, they have obviously put in the time to establish themselves, and being dedicated to serve can prevent them from visiting other churches.
Wow, this is how she normally sounds. Alright.
PS I usually listen to podcast, 2x speed.
What about people trying to get married in Covid long distance? Online marriages legit? Or?
In all fairness, I realize that the following comments come from my anecdotal experiences: More negative in this episode than positive, and I usually enjoy Stuckey's doctrinal stances. I come from the extreme purity & courtship culture of the cult of Bill Gothard which The Duggars are in. How's that been playing out for them? When people like Pokluda and my parents come to Jesus after sowing their wild oats, they often have a tendency to embrace the other extreme, to keep their disciples from the same traumas. The Church, more often than not, pats singles on the head and tells us we, "have time." Like many things in life, doing something well takes time and practice. The idea that we can practice singleness, to the exclusion of not practicing partnership, and then we'll just pivot and be successful is naive at best, and neglectful at worst. Past our early 20s, we don't have time, and even if we start at 25, we've missed 5+ years of practice at partnerships which are supposed to last the rest of our lives (ua-cam.com/video/vhhgI4tSMwc/v-deo.html). Those well meaning church folks haven't been for us around when it comes time to jam us up and tell us that the time to invest is getting short. Pokluda smacks of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which has been just as disastrous and defiling for my generation, as well as the author (who had embraced the other extreme after his trauma ua-cam.com/video/D2kV4ngi7J4/v-deo.html), as the sexual revolution has been. The answer isn't for us to be in cults of extremes, in order to comfort ourselves by creating our own perfect circles of protection. Those systems have as spectacular a history of failure as has Marxism. We should be whole and well-balanced human beings. "Purity" should be a means to an end, not the goal, or dare I say an idol. The idea that we desire marriage to "keep up with the Joneses," is headscratchingly misguided. We want it because soul-crushing loneliness when we're gonna be old is a grim prospect. Families have been torn apart by their adult children's choice of spouse? Yes, it is painful for caretakers, who are inappropriately possessive of and enmeshed/triangulated with their charges, to have them leave, cleave, and live their own unique lives which God intended them to live. Only dating people we know severely limits the dating pool, in a pool which is already severely limited due to lack of quality people. No one's gotten to Heaven and asked God, regretfully, why He kept them single? This is an oversimplification and quite frankly lazy thinking. We would never say that having cancer or being sexually assaulted in this life doesn't matter because it won't matter in Heaven. All and all, I'm sure these hosts are well-intentioned and generally good people, but this ain't a perfect strikeout: some of these ideas are balls. The Church does itself no favors by accepting legalistic ideas, just because they seem better than the hedonism the world offers.
@Clay Casassa This is an older comment by now obviously, but you make a lot of good points here:
*No one's gotten to Heaven and asked God, regretfully, why He kept them single? This is an oversimplification and quite frankly lazy thinking. We would never say that having cancer or being sexually assaulted in this life doesn't matter because it won't matter in Heaven. All and all, I'm sure these hosts are well-intentioned and generally good people, but this ain't a perfect strikeout: some of these ideas are balls. The Church does itself no favors by accepting legalistic ideas, just because they seem better than the hedonism the world offers* .
Very well put.
Great advice JP, following God’s Word works. The Bible is Jewish❣️🥰💕🙏🏻🙏🏻💕
It's odd that you're getting so many women saying they cannot find a Christian man. In my church, they stopped having singles meeting events because only men like myself were showing up.
Hold on, where is this magical land you speak of?
@@LuzDeMariposita Michigan. Specifically Grand Blanc.
@@aaron6622 it’s def opposite in Texas, all women hardly any men.
@@emmarose6590 I see. One more reason to move to Texas, I suppose.
@@LuzDeMariposita good humor 🤭
I miss JP!!
if your waiting for marriage to fulfil your life then you are missing the one person that can give it to you....yourself.
Oops. So much for agreement with the guest. JP gently rebuked Allie Beth's marriage search criteria for "The One"
Allie, when you stated that “ Something just didn’t feel right”. was the guidance of the Holy Spirit within you. You were sensitive to His voice.
had me at the word "rape" due to a woman being (too) pure. Rape is a dual sin sorta..hurts more than one...its bad.
Unfortunately, when you try to advise young people about potential marriage partners, you are met with contempt of "don't judge".
Maybe god doesn't want you to have a soul mate. You should seriously consider that. You shouldn't go against god's plan. If its not happening-its not happening for a reason.
JP!!!
Look, because God wanted an inheritance for His Son prior to the creation of man and woman, God had to ordain marriage through Adam's words.
The church really looks down on singles and marginalizes them. They do not invest in their single members. Also, this pastor is not saying anything new that every other Pastor hasn't said. Be the partner you want, old news. I am 50 and never married and really tired of hearing that same ole line and doing the right thing for decades and still nothing. Tell me something other people aren't saying.
I feel this too. I'm not 50 yet and I'm already tired of the subtle jabs at single people's character and faith. "Work on yourself" and "focus on putting God first" get old really fast.
I feel the hurt in your comment, and I sympathize with the pain that you have. I struggled with the exact same thoughts living as a single adult. The Lord taught me personally that marriage is a gift, but that means I don't deserve it, and it's not something that I am promised in God's Word. I can't do "all the right things" and be rewarded with a husband. My focus has to be on my personal relationship with the Lord growing in love for Him and others. That is my primary role in life, whether married or single. Yes, not having something we've always wanted does hurt, but the truth is still that we just have to pour our hearts out to the Lord and submit to what He wisely brings into our lives. Just to give context, I was single for 16 years and have only now been married for two. I am now waiting on the Lord for something else that I've always wanted but have no guarantee that He will grant. This is the reality of life on this side of heaven. However, I do get to choose my focus and my attitude. I hope this is encouraging as it was certainly meant that way.
@@alanimason-callaway6720 yes! The advice is always along the lines of you’re doing something wrong to not be married, basically Saying they did something right to be married.
Faith in the Emperor is all you need the rest are luxury's he gives us
Dating is not biblical
True. We should definitely go back to the days of sending a servant to distant lands find a spouse. Or perhaps go lay at your chosen mate's feet while he sleeps and ask him to propose marriage. Maybe we ladies should demand that our potential husbands should defeat our father's enemies in order to win our hand.🤔
@@alissa_727 what?!?
Just suggesting some Biblical examples of finding a mate🧐😝
Dating today is a total disaster. ContraPoints (youtuber) has the unique experience of dating on both teams. She has said women drown in a sea of cock & men get totally ignored without even getting a chance.
Dating is reverting to the stone age where the top 10% of men get 80% women. When most men are single & sexless, conflict & wars break out.
Men and women also burn out and give up after years of failure with dating. The whole situation is sad. No one should be single forever if they don't want to be.
It's like Jesus and Paul showed guys we should be red-pilled...
After being divorced because my ex decided she wanted *more stuff* - the whole idea of marriage for guys - at least for today - is just crazy. When you think about the creep of feminism, entitlement and soaring expectations, the 50% divorce rate even in the church, guys lose in court 90%+ of the time, have to pay alimony, lose their assets, their homes and their children? Is that *equality?* Which part of that is supposed to look appealing from a man's perspective? And aside from that, today's dating culture is *hookup* everywhere, even in church. If you've tried to behave a certain way, chances are the other hasn't. And while yes, 100% God can find a perfect person, typically the good ones are already taken.
Paul had it right.
Red pill, guys.
I dislike whoever invented dating very much. Not all women are out to get stuff.
I lost my bottom in my divorce. I was young and stupid and have learned the hard way. Like Sampson.
I am completely over dating, the hook up culture and everything that goes with it. I have no children either.
Sadly, I see your argument full of bitterness and anger and hate. As a 40 yr old single woman I often get called a lesbian. Nothing is further from the truth. I do not believe in that lifestyle. I do not believe a man or a woman are more valuable than another. Each of us have roles that God intended for us to have.
The world is so upside down. By women wanting to be equal to men, they’ve lost what makes them most special. I’ve been stalked by men on the internet and in real life. This world is a mess.
Like an Elijah, I’m exhausted form trying to keep up with all this rules of dating engagement. I’ve dropped the expectations of others for me to date. I’m marginalized by my entire family as I’m the only single person.
Truth be told, I am over fending off men who just want a woman who looks like a ten on their mattress before he knows her name.
I truly feel if Jesus wants me to have a partner, then he will make me trip over him. 🤷🏼♀️
@@cs4370 Hi Christina
Maybe a little bitter but not angry or hateful. Just... over it also. I've learned as you have growing up in church and the Word each partner's roles. To trust the Lord implicitly. I'm honestly one of the fortunate ones. My kids actually live with me.
But to do it all again? When the risks/deck is stacked so heavily against men? At home, in court, even in public opinion?
Lesson = learned.
Honestly it stinks. Our culture that is. People's shallowness or obedience to scripture is lacking. Treating marriage like it's disposable. It's ugly out there. As to your last statement, I wholeheartedly concur (the tripping). 🤣
@@cs4370 Whoa! You just wrote my dating bio. 😯
@@GlennRiccobono I agree. Thanks for taking the feedback openly and kindly.
My biggest lie in my life was until death do is part. There is nothing I can do to undo that. God spared me children but gave me a clean break. There was a large worldly cost. Marriage was not about me having a husband and sharing him.
I did study women’s studies in college. The positioning of ‘feminism’ was radically different. I was invited to continue to my masters by many professors. My personal beliefs and my theology was different from what I was being fed. I witnessed this social normative phenomenon for many years. I believe I have a right to vote, to speak up in government, business and exercise my second amendment. I purchased my own home prior to marriage. I don’t think those things are radical. Women couldn’t get a credit card without their husbands consent in the 70s! That was our parents lifetime!!!!
I didn’t know what the inside of the church was since I was 17. I can’t speak for what happens in one. I study with a small group now. I can speak on why I left. It’s not pretty. I got lost in New Age modern theologies. Unfortunately, I see them all over the church.
I have since refuted all of that theology and movement. Only by Gods grace....trust me - spiritual deception lights it’s own fire for the truth.
I recently spoke to a minister as I will defend myself, I enjoy my Harley Davidson very much. I camp alone, traveled alone at times for many days...I don’t want a man’s role - but what other has stepped in? I don’t believe children should be in a broken home. I don’t believe in abortion. I don’t believe it’s Gods will for a woman to end a life inside of her. That’s radical feminism. Its sad to see so many single people. The kids suffer and society becomes more ungodly.
As a divorced woman who’s ex husband is still alive (not that I have the faintest idea of any happenings of his life) why would I have a believer commit adultery to even find partnership? I’m not going to have my own children - that ship has sailed. To what benefit would I ever bring of any man? I can’t do the online dating - at all.
Everywhere I go it’s the weirdest thing to people. That someone is single and doesn’t want to put effort into the worldly concept of dating.
Modern radical femininity is no other than a decisive action to the real body of believers. There’s enough division at play for all those who believe. We truly have destroyed ourselves. It makes me so sad to see this.
Only Jesus can fix all of this mess. I keep telling myself God knows what he’s doing and there is nothing new under the sun.
Sorry for my rant - this is a topic that has people feeling crappy and worthless a lot. Being single isn’t a curse. Being with the wrong person is, being without God through Jesus is death. It’s all much worse than singleness as he said.
@@cs4370 so do you believe as women who are divorced (🙋♀️) we biblically should not remarry?
Why, oh why, would any sane person take the advise of a pastor and a youtuber as being valid or even reasonable.Drivel.
Marriage is just not worth it nowadays... period.
I'm not religious but I would have no problem with having a religious wife , but I have not met any religious woman that would marry outside of their religion . Perhaps Religious people should consider a more live and let live out look , just saying.
Too many complications. I prefer a fellow Christian. A different denomination within Christianity is perfectly fine.
@@TrevorSullivan That is their right of course , but that is often also a de-facto decision to remain single. You can say "I will never compromise" but there are a lot of good people in the world that you are shutting the door on that could enrich your life while you are here on earth.
@@robertlackey7212 But we don’t believe just in life here on earth. We believe we have eternal souls and our decisions impact eternity, not just the here & now. The goal isn’t worldly comfort while we’re here, Christ calls us beyond that. Those eternal callings and beliefs critical to how we live our lives as Christians won’t be shared by a spouse unless Jesus is the common denominator for both.
@@thesaltiestnugget I hope for your sake your right.
@@robertlackey7212 Work on your own relationship with God, gain an understanding of who He is and who you are compared to Him. You’ll worry much less about the path and discipline of those who know and love Him.
Human sexuality was not “invented” any differently than animal sexuality was. All the same parts to reproduce. It’s weird to hear it described as some godly invention.
Go ahead and be wild then