My Little Brother Died - How does a person deal with this?
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- Not a sob story, but the important lessons I learned going through this experience...
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Thank you...
Sorry to hear about your brother, he's with Jesus and the way you can meet with him again is repent and be baptized in Jesus name Acts 2:37-39 God bless you
I moved my family out of Chicago, after the military; it's just not safe. Nearly 666 homicides a year, just due to one gang.
❤️🇸🇰🇪🇺
@@RippleAffect ummmm... i know your hearts in the right place but you are assuming your way is the only way. I urge you to not put your higher power in a box
Thank YOU brother, genuinely
I’m so sorry 😢. My son died when he was 13. Even though it’s been many years, I still can’t talk about it without breaking down. My heart reaches out to you. By the way, it’s not self pity, it’s grief.
Might be worth talking to someone only once. They do not have to reply.
losing a child is by far the most painful thing any parent has to go through. we also lost our child over a decade ago & every time i look back at it or be reminded about it, really can't help but get quite emotional and had to really restrain myself if i'm not alone.
My older brother and only brother died at 19 I was 14 at the time 1998. It destroyed my parents and myself, 25 years later and it still feels like it was yesterday. I watched him suffer for a month in the hospital before he died. Fucking motorcycle. I'm very sorry for your loss🙏😥
Yes so true Greif bereft is not self pity..Nd one grief in silently in the Heart for life You don't get over you just get on n if you faith God brings you peace in your circumstances
The pain never goes away, it just becomes easier to manage over time
My older brother, whom I idolized, died in an accident while I was in my 20's. I did not handle it well at all. I self medicated for years as I had no help to process. There is absolutely no pain like that of losing a sibling. I'm glad you are remembering him, he was adorable. And I do indeed believe you felt that when he died. My 5 year old stopped dead in her tracks on a school field trip and randomly said "I don't want to be left alone." Us parents kind of laughed as kids are weird. Wound up her father was killed at that moment. 1000 miles away. I think kids are more open to that kind of stuff. Again, thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing about Miles, Winston. You’re not wrong about that feeling you got before he passed… I’m sure we do have “connections” like that with people that we can’t explain. Thank you again for talking about this difficult topic 🙏
The simpler explanation is that it is normal to have certain feelings when loved ones go through such operations, and then you assign more value or importance to it when the operation go bad, afterwards, and especially as you grow older and think back.
@@pana1657 You sound like those people who deny the realities indian face when they watch slumdog millionaire, karl isnt that kinda guy
Hey Karl, love your vidos. Cool you follow Winston too!.
I'm very sceptical, but I have my own unexplainable connection story like his, so it's hard to discount...
Had no idea you watched ADV. Hope to see you make a new video on your channel going on another adventure soon.
@@clickallnight thanks 🙏
Holy shit doing this live is really brave. Big ups for being this real, this is such a valuable video.
Ive been watching this I guess a year after this video was posted, and i so relate to this guy. I grew up with an ex-military father who was working with a diplomatic department (thats all Im allowed to tell about his job) but i grew up all over the world, had to have self defense training many times as a child and teen, carried a weapon from the age of 15, saw many deaths and crimes in the places i was at. Our house was grenaded, we had to have a military evacuation, brought back as necessary personnel, and grew up seeing things i should never have seen. I understand why he blocked out the memories. Ive done it too.
My husband died at 50, it took me around 5yrs to accept his death, you're right it does damage you. My daughters and I talk about him often, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, we keep him alive by talking about our memories with him. My health declined too and I put on weight but I'm getting better and have lost nearly all the weight I put on. Time doesn't heal our loss, time allows us to learn to live with our loss 🙏
Not long after my uncle shot himself in the head my cousin awoke to him sitting at the end of the bed smiling down at her. She could tell he was communicating (just like in Winston's case) that 'it was alright, not to worry'.
I love that, learn to live with our loss.
@@Blanco1967sometimes, it’s important to understand when to make a comment , and when to have a thought.
This was a thought moment as it contributed absolutely nothing to the person sharing their grief other than an uncomfortable feeling
@@Jack_Redview Yeah I could not have been thinking right when I made that comment. Nice pfp
We like hearing your stories man. Don't ever feel bad about sharing important times from your life.
Thanks for sharing too. My wife sadly just died last week in hospital, we have been together for 25 years. We used to watch you're Chinese vids and doco together a lot. Losing someone does suck.
Sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry Raul. 25 years together is so special ❤️❤️❤️❤️
💕💕
Im sorry about your wife, I hope you find peace eventually ❤
Sorry for loss. However, remember the 25 great years
My little brother is fighting leukemia right now. He hasn't had chemo in 2 weeks, he's still is throwing up. It dawned to me tonight he might not beat it. I kept that thought to myself and drove home after he finally passed out. Thanks for the talk on the way home
You tube algorithm can almost guess what your thinking about.
Stay strong brother, regardless of the outcome your bro needs your support
Give him chemo treatment as fast possible
I lost a childhood friend last week to cancer. She knew she had lost her fight about 4 months ago and like a hero looked death in the eyes and showed nothing but grace. She has 5 little girls 15 and under and was only 35. I hate cancer and I hate even more that the likelihood that cancer cures are out there but financial gains are to great for the 1% er's of the world to loose . I pray your brother kicks leukemia in the ass like a boss.
How's he doing?
@Obamas Teeth things have gotten alot better from that dark winter. Me and him took a charter out in lake Michigan for brown trout. He still has 2 years of chemo to go, though.
That night *i commented the original comment*was really bad and i had back road ride home, i was looking for music on my algorithm and YT recommended Winston's video,it helped make me a little stronger by listening to his speech and motivated me to stay strong during them rough winter months.
It's not self-pity, Winston. You have the right to feel the way you do, given the tragic circumstances. Don't resist your emotions and don't resist sides of your personality - What you resist makes stronger. If you resist being angry, sad, mourning, and things like that, it will continue to get stronger until you could find yourself in a vicious cycle.
Holy crap Serpentenza has a very eventful life, like his mother got shot, his brother died, he got his ass kicked several times in China, he got a wife who is a doctor, he was became the enemy of tons of pro-CCP people.
Are you concerned if your daughter goes to the hospital for any reason
I think it's the other way around, it's complicated, but the more you DO a behavior the stronger it becomes. The more you get angry, the more often you are angry; sometimes you get angrier. Same with any emotion.
My father died at work of a heart attack one morning in 1975, I was just 15 years old, my sister also died 27 years ago, aged 38 years of ovarian cancer in Toronto, my adopted native Australian brother died of heart problems at the age of 52, he won Australia's very first Stolen Generation case & was awarded 750k but died 1 year later, life is hard when it is constantly on your mind, I am 63 & glad to be here with all the memories of our lives together
So sorry for all the loss you’ve experienced… wishing you as much peace and healing as is possible.
@@malibu64 Thank you
Wow. That is a lot of loss. Sad it something you have maybe to be "used" to.
Hearing about your adoptive brother is interesting. I hope it wasn't any funny stuff that happened to him after he won that case.
@@kilburn1313 Our condolences from the other side of the world ❤️
@@marlak4203 Thanks for your words, my brother, Bruce Trevorrow was in my family before I was born & the government told my parents he was an abandoned baby by his family which was a total lie, there are 3 books written about him, life is good & you are off to a good start each day if you can put your feet on the floor in the morning, as my mum used to say
Cherish your memories!!! I lost my Mom when I was 6 and a 1/2 and I only have abt 3 memories of her. I'm watching this again. I feel the love you have for your brother. He was blessed to have an older brother like you!!!
So sad
My oldest daughter died in 2006. My children don't talk about her, but I think about her all the time. It's my feeling that you have to talk about and think about your brother in order to honor him. And one more thing.. just remember that your dear brother would not want you to be sad. As I told my other children, our time on this Earth is predestined, and not everyone will live a long full life. It's always been that way and always will be. But you were lucky to have the gift of your brother for as long as you did. I feel for you...
Your kids probably do that talk about her for your own sake… I would hate for others to talk about my dead relatives.
My grandma died today and this helped me much. Thank you for this
@@Ken-no5ip I'm sorry for your loss!...from Wyoming USA 🇺🇸 🤠
Your brother really did hug you…being “callous” is more accurately blocking your own process with grief. Grief is natural and demands it’s due eventually. You are among good company. Miles looks like a beautiful little brother and we are honoured you shared his memory with us. ❤️
As a doctor I have witnessed many times similar situations when people have suffered similar losses and are "damaged".
Especially fathers losing sons - they never get over it, and cope by not talking about it, because it is just as too hard and emotional to talk about, so they block it out as you did. But talking about helps you to cope - well done.
Serpentza , when my mother died, many years ago, too soon at the age of 47, I dreamt she came into my bedroom, looking younger and healthier than before, she said " I didn't want to go but I'm alright now" I take this as a visitation and I think you could also take your experience of your brother as such....and...like my mother, he wanted you to know he was ok. Very brave of you to speak about this.
I also had a visit from my deceased husband the day I was going to his fathers funeral. In his visit he was all and healthy and smiling. I was so happy to see him smile because cancer ate him up and he was miserable at such a young age. But when I saw him in the dream, I said,” Joel you are all well and happy” and he replied, “ yes, Dad is coming today.” I was so relieved that he was no longer one and was finally able to put my pain and loss in a better place. I’m so thankful for that dream. I still say I’m an atheist but that was a gift I will not toss aside or question.
@@roxannekeomaka4754 Maybe it's time to toss aside atheism for "I'mnotsureism".
Oh my goodness, I feel you deep grief and sadness! My 2 1/2 year old son died 8 years ago in a drowning accident in South Africa. Its the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened in my life. I was 10 weeks pregnant when it happened. Never feel weird when you get emotional, it’s so good for your heart.
Jesus was my saving grace, when I was weak, He was my strength, still is. I can not imagine getting through such a loss without God, must’ve been so tough especially as a teenager. 😔
So sorry for your loss. ✝️❤️
I lost my sister when I was 14 due to a genetic disease and watched her deteriorate over 5 years. It's rough losing someone that young and it does change you. Thank you for sharing and putting into words how I've been feeling for 12 years.
I lost my younger brother 9 years ago. I'm still dealing with it too. The best advice I've ever gotten on dealing with the lost of a loved one is treat it like an amputation. You will never heal or recover from it, you just have to adapt, adjust, and learn to live with it. RIP Myles.
I agree. Brother amputated, and must move on.
Winston, Real MEN do cry, don't ever be upset about showing emotion over something so touching. You are still being a great big brother, Miles is probably very proud.
Crying should carry no shame!! It's like farting. Everyone does it and if you choose not to you are going to get sick. There's a time and a place for it but it a very human thing to do. It's how you know your alive, it hurts. My grandpa was the toughest man alive and he cried every Christmas. He did it in front of us all. I would ask him why he was crying and he told me he was crying for a lot of reasons. You don't even need a reason to cry, sometimes it just happens. It's something real people do. He also told me you can't cry too much and watch out for people that don't cry. This video is making me cry god damnit, but I'm proud of my soul, I can hurt for others. I have respect for people that can cry. We're all human and this $#!+ Isn't easy!!!!
+77 respect points!
@@luke144 yep.
@@luke144 Totally agree, Luke..Sounds like Grandpa was awesome !!
@@luke144 Great post !!
Well when things get really bad at least i only cry when someone i know well dies or when i am in extreme pain.
Great video. Miles's loss definitely affected your personality. Sometimes losing composure can be a good thing. This was a good way of processing it.
You don't give yourself enough credit dude. Hearing your experiences and stories on YT, it seems like you've been through hell and back. You and your family seem incredibly strong, you're an inspiration Winston.
Sorry to hear Winston. All the best to you and RIP to your brother.
Idt they "rest". They can help us from the other plane. Energy transforms. Doesn't cease.
My daughter would have been 48....gone for 46 years but I think of her every day......I am sure everytime you see someone that looked like your brother the last time you saw him it will slam you in your heart.
You'll see her again in heaven.
@@jimbeam7160 Or he won't go to heaven.
We live in a society where we avoid reminders of death. Thank you for sharing and helping.
We can not forget the past and future is always ahead of us and the present is always here
Sorry for the hammy saying
For one of my sister's birthdays once, I said: "You are one year closer to your death."
Jamie Anderson said, “Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
Some say grief is as important, as beautiful, if not moreso, than the love we experience while connected. That something greater than what we would usually attribute to love arises in its wake which is the ultimate love, and that love without loss isn't yet love.
We lose loved ones through more than just death and I try my hardest to appreciate the perspective loss affords for the true knowing and experiencing of that love supposedly lost. The temptation is to forget but I believe to truly "let go" and to "move on" is to become able to carry that love with you... and thus to affect; is to have "moved on" so far that you've come full circle.
@@FlynLatif Grief is love. The people we grieve would not want us to be sad and mope, they loved us too, so we must accept their love. We keep receiving their love after they are gone whenever we remember the happy times we had together with them.
I haven't talked to my little brother in over three years, he disowned me. If he passed I would still be heartbroken worse than the loss of any other family member.
Perhaps you can reach out?❤
@@nadogrl Thank you for your feedback. I tried 2 months ago, the call went very poorly and I have not heard from him since.
I found my mom on the floor only minutes after she'd passed away, but as she was cold to the touch, I knew it was too late to save her. My father passed away literally in my arms as I was trying to get him to the hospital. It's critical to, not only deal with death in a healthy way so that we're less "damaged" over our lives, but with healthy healing we can celebrate and embrace their memory. We miss them dearly, but with reverence and fondness rather than only pain and suffering. I believe that it's also important realize that we are fragile. People we love can be taken in an instant. l try to tell people that they are important to me, I appreciate them and care about them. It's awkward, but they only have to hear it on their birthdays.
@@SatanenPerkele Thank you, that's very kind. It is something truly catastrophic. I can only say that any detail that is pre-planned is a blessing. Of course a Will that is understandable, End of Life directives in a known location with telephone numbers, but also even down to headstone design, casket, songs at funeral. Literally anything. Let people help, and be helpful, etc. Something that saved me mentally was to recognize something each day that I was deeply grateful for. That might sound weird but it was an antidote to pain, suffering, and nihilism.
-Thanks again. Wish you well.
Thank you for sharing this. I lost my younger sister earlier this year. Always good to have others to relate to.
Also, I had a similar feeling to the experience you had, about 12 minutes in. Thank you for sharing this.
I'm so sorry for your loss that's so terrible. I wish you all the best God bless.
I’m so sorry. Grief is an mf. You just walk through it, keep walking, eventually, there is a bit of light….keep walking. Sending my love to you.
“Grief is the price we pay for love.” These words were said by Queen Elizabeth II during Princess Diana’s funeral (and also on 9/11). Having gone through grief, there are waves of emotions. I still grieve for losing our unborn child. I’ll pray for you bro.
No, it was during the 9/11 attacks
That is how I describe grief. Waves, that wash over you and then fades.
I was eleven when my sister, age sixteen, died in an auto accident with her two best friends. I got no help, and it fundamentally changed my outlook and stance on life as well as my relationship with my parents.
Sorry for your loss what a terrible tragedy take care God bless.
I am sorry to hear that, the death of my father affected my relationship with my mother, so I understand.
🙏🙏🙏 sadley
What changed about your outlook and your relationship with parents?
God bless you all. 🙏
Winston, my respect for you, which was already high, is 1000X greater. You have honoured your brother by telling his story and meaning to you. This is a powerful testimony and I'm grateful that you made this. I hope you now feel free to tell his story and how his tragic early death has affected you whenever it feels right to do so. Sending you my thanks for all that you do on your channel. Patrick
Hmm simping at an unemotional guy doesn't make them feel good imho friend. I agree though 🙂
You should write a letter to your brother. It is very cathartic and you will be amazed with what you write for him. It helps process, and it helps celebrate his life. It sucks when people die, and theres no way to be prepared for it. After a person you love dies; you are forever changed. It is what it is. Very awesome video, it is not easy to share this sort of content. I tip my hat to you Winston. Stay awesome!
I've also lost loved ones Winston it's incredibly difficult especially for a young person. Thank you for sharing this with us it helps. Good luck to you and your family.
sorry for your loss I'm sure they loved you lots and lots
Crying when sharing this with us is the first step ... I feel honored.
I recently lost a brother before Christmas. He was 30years old. He had covid and was getting better and one day he didn’t wake up. By the time my dad and sister went into his room, he was already gone in the middle of the night.
Strange thing was he was very functional the day before and was cooking, cleaning and talking for hours on the phone to his best friend. It was so tragic and we still can’t believe he had left us to this day.
Thank you for sharing your story.
In covid they killed many pipl it was greatest hospis since wwii
Im really Sorry for ur lost. May I ask if he was vaccined and if he had any comorbities?
Unfortunately he wasn’t vaccinated. The night before no one saw him struggled and he was very active.
No health conditions either.
@@annavoong8229 I'm sorry. Really
@@GospodinJeanmay I ask what was the point of your question ?
I was in the ICU with my dad when he died. All of a sudden, I felt a rush of "wind" going through my body and I, instantly, knew that my dad had left. I choose to believe that that was his spirit going through me. It took me years to go visit him at the cemetery and even longer to cry...and when it hit me, I let it all out. Hope that time comes for you and you can feel lighter and more healed after it.
I felt the same thing! I was there when both my parents died on seperate occasions and i get the feeling you describe.
I also felt this when my grandfather died; I was hundreds of miles away, but I felt that rushing 'wind' feeling and I actually said "WOW" out loud, it was that much of an impact.
I didn't know what it was at that time, but I felt that it was a spiritual thing. Later I learned that my grandfather had died about the same time as I felt that feeling. In hindsight I think he was saying goodbye. It was actually pretty cool.
See that's funny. My dad died and there was no spirit wind.....maybe...just maybe there are no spirits. There is no Chi or Ki or Chakra or Magic, no Ghosts, ectoplasm, demons, spirit creatures, trolls, ogres, fairies, lepcrechauns, werewolfs, witches, magi, afterlife or an astral realm, oni, kami, gods or a supreme being. But it doesn't matter.
This universe and all the things in it is itself way more magical than any of the supernatural nonsense people believe in. The most important thing is that we exist here and now and we must make the best of the time we have because when you die, it's game over forever. There is no round 2, no level 2, no restart or reincarnation, no second attempt, retry, start again option.
This is all we've got so apply yourself, memento mori.
Superstitious nonsense aside, i respect the dead and always visit the graves of my loved ones who are gone, not because i think they can hear me but to remember their impression on me and the world they left behind.
@@lawrencefrost9063no one can know for sure, but I know what I vivedly experienced and it wasn't my imagination.
@@10Sambo01 How do you know tho?
My 16 year old nephew was killed on his birthday by a drunk driver last August. My brother and his wife, in their pain, grief and anger, have become quite mean and nasty. This tragedy has torn my family apart. You are right when you say it damages you. None of us will ever be the same. xx
Wow. I wonder if their marriage will survive. Many don't after a tragedy like that
@@col.cottonhill6655 Good question. They have isolated themselves from half of the family (me included) and have dropped many friends for things that were done and not done. Even things from the past, which have nothing to do with their son's death, they have brought up to castigate people. It's a very sad situation.
It's the whole cruel Injustice of it. And you are right, none of you will be the same.
Sorry to read of your loss. I'm sure time will make things easier for your family
@@glennoc8585 Thankyou. I hope so.
Winston, thank you for your vulnerability. This video helped many people (myself included) feel a little less alone- especially those of us who are still trying to figure out how to "correctly" process the death of a loved one/important person in our lives. We appreciate you dude.
The thing I like about your clips, is your pragmatic approach to almost everything.
You don’t seem to dwell on individual things, but realise the importance of the things that need to be remembered.
Happy for your successes, sad for your losses. Keep it up.
I've been a fan for what feels like 10 years now, and this is my new favorite video of all time from you. I know it wasn't easy so I commend you for that. I lost my sister 2 years ago, and to hear this story and advice from you specifically helps more than just hearing it in general. Our outlook on spirituality is almost identical, and I have handled it similarly to how you did, so this hits home more than you can imagine. Thank you...Even though we may never meet, im glad we can be your youtube family.
Since I'm a pastor (passport American, born and raised in Japan and living in Nagasaki prefecture now) I am obviously looking at this from a different perspective than you. At the very least, I admire your courage in doing this video, and believe it was probably good for you. In terms of Miles dying during heart surgery, my father did the same, but at age 64. However, I too have seen a lot of death, including finding one of our church members who had died in his home. The police were a bit shocked at my matter-of-fact response to it all. Death is very much a part of life, but I have a very strong conviction that death isn't the end of the story. My wife's heart stopped when we were in our 20s and she saw heaven, but was mercifully sent back, since we had two young daughters at the time. Know that I care, regardless of how tenuous our connection, and I do and will pray for you.
I hope you're right but I know you're not
@@mansendwish for certain?
@@Blanco1967After death its either eternal life(literally or just through reincarnation) or eternal darkness
@@ze_kangz932 but can you be certain. Not just of your point but anything having to do with the supernatural, God, or lack of?
@@Blanco1967 No we can't. At least for now. Or maybe never. But you can find comfort in religion, or in the fact that if you've been dead before your birth, you can be dead after your death till the end of times.
I lost my older brother when I was a teen in a large family. There was that loss, which was devastating, and then there was also the pain of watching those around you suffer with the grief and not being able to do a thing about it. Those were dark days that left scars.
I have a little brother and god the thought of losing that little annoying and lovable bugger terrifies me. I don't know if I could even continue living if he were to disappear. I love him beyond anything else and he's been there for me through so much. He always brings me a smile with his antics everyday. That bond is something if lost would render me locked into a mental facility. I'm so sorry Sepentza you're a stronger man than I previously thought
Winston, this is one of the bravest things I've ever seen anyone do on social media. You're being honest with yourself finally and doing the right thing. We cannot ignore grief. There's only one way out and that is through. I will say this, once you've experienced your grief fully those memories that are painful now will become joyful to you again. It might not feel like that now but, grieving does pass. Trying to shove it away or push it down just makes the experience of feeling the loss last longer. Lastly, I'll just say this. Your brother had he lived would not have wanted you to always feel sad about his life. He would want you to process this grief properly and then be able to experience happiness and comfort in your memories. I wish you nothing but, a peaceful soul in this journey.
Losing a family member is heartbreaking. You be strong, I have lost both my parents. Dad when I was 6. Mom died on 2018.
Sorry for your loss
Hope you're doing better
I have been following this channel from many years but now i understand the name.
I cannot imagine life without my younger brother, we talk once in say 2 week's ❤️
I am in Mechanical & he is in IT. We both know how much we love each other more than parents.
The pictures of your brother are adorable, seems like a sweet little guy. Don't be hard on yourself, you were a child when he died, and you could not handle the pain at that age. You are allowing the pain to be felt now, in bits and pieces, and that is a good way to do it. I've had some experiences which I cannot explain, but these have led me to have strong religious beliefs. I do believe your brother, who left this life with a pure and sweet soul, did stop by to give you a hug, and his love for you endures as does your love for him. When all is said and done, the love we share with others is all we can we take with us after this life. He still loves you and you still love him. Nothing else matters.
You are a real man, brave man, kind man, honest man. Love your channel.
Thank you for sharing with us Winston.
Traumas and death is one one of those things that when kept inside for too long not being shared or talked about it starts eating at you from the inside and damages more.
This is good and helpful for you but also us. It made me confront some feelings and memories of lost people in my life.
Hey, Win... wow.. That was amazing. You really put yourself out there and it really means a lot to everyone here, I'm sure...
We love you, man. I know this is an old video, but it is powerful..
Anyways, thanks again for being so open and raw with this. Be well, my friend.
Very relatable, blocking out the feelings is a way I cope as well.
And just like when you began talking about that time and the memories and feelings hit, they do overwhelm. It's uncomfortable to feel that loss of control over yourself.
I do believe so long as you remember someone they aren't truly dead, so you are keeping him going by talking here.
Thanks for talking about it Winston and I hope you and your family have great years ahead of you.
Thanks for sharing your story. I can’t help but think that losing a sibling at a young age is one of the worst, most difficult of ordeals. Blocking out horrible experiences is a powerful coping mechanism and you just showed how strong these deeply buried feelings are. I’m glad you got this past trauma off your chest. Well done, God Bless.
Thank you for sharing your brother Miles story.. Again my deepest and sincere condolences, Winston.
😪🌷RIP Miles.
I'm glad you posted this video. I lost my brother, too. You're right when you say that "it doesn't change you - it damages you". I've certainly never been the same since his death. I have often thought "If the damage done to me was external instead of internal, I would look like someone who was hit by a cannonball at point blank range". I say that without exaggeration. But, since it's inside of us and because the death of a brother is not something that others can see, the experience and pain remains somewhat of an enigma to most people - even to our closest friends. This realization alone can be a very isolating experience. However, I have found that it is helpful to talk about it, even with people who have a little or no understanding. I'm essentially talking for myself, I guess. So, I try to just keep in mind that people do care, but they are uncomfortable because they don't know what to say or how to say it. But, it does help to talk and our friends want to know what we are really feeling inside because that is who they are actually friends with, whether they know it or not. So, I'm glad you are talking about it. There's no schedule, so whenever and however much you feel comfortable with is going to be just right for your needs in the end. It takes a while, but it does get more manageable over time. Trust me, please.
I'm very sorry for your loss . Just know that you're never alone . In 2018, all in a 1 months timespan, I lost first my little brother, then my dad and then my own son. All 3 gone in 1 month. We must tell our loved ones , we love ❤️ them today. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.
That's something I say to almost everyone I know..Tomorrow is NEVER Promised.
that's awful Starla sorry for your loss life is precious God bless take care
Thank you for sharing little brothers story, reminded me when i lost my nephew who drowned in a pool 2 years ago. Anyone would has dealt with loss could attest to this it feels like a unfillable empty hole in your heart that you carry with you for the rest of your life.
Thanks for sharing your life with us via this live stream.
It was so good to hear about your childhood memories of your little brother and see your photos showing your family enjoying life together.
Losing a family member "before their time" is the ultimate kick in the stomach. There as so many mixed emotions that come with it. My heart aches for how it must've been for all of you. With this segment you have really honored Miles well and I am honored you brought us along on your current journey as well.
I'm guessed that having a beautiful daughter growing up right in front of you every day triggered some memories of your little brother in a poignant way and I understand that feelings might well up for others freshly greiving the senseless loss of family members in recent mass shootings.
Your current feelings are evidence that you are ready to do some more healing and that you aren't as callous today as you were back then.
I am hoping that in doing this show and sharing this with us you will help others (as you want to) and that our feedback in the comments will promote additional healing in you also.
I'm a grandma in my 60s. I've been following you since about a year before covid. I have appreciated your content and I wish you well with this subject going forward.
My best friend died in his sleep when he was 16, he also was born with a similar heart condition and had no treatment. The odd thing was a few weeks before he passed he told me to not spend so much time with him and to find other friends, not in a mean way but in a matter of fact way.
That's very interesting. I know a man whose wife died of a brain haemorrhage and he said during the week before he felt a distance developing between himself and his wife ... almost as if she was pushing him away. Strange.
I can shed some light on my experience dying from cancer. If you two are interested. But it may not be what you want to hear.
@@angryalbertan9353 Spoiler alert, we're all going to die 🙂 I don't take anything for granted. Like you and millions of others I've also beaten a life threatening disease nearly 10 years ago now. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, it's been a blessing
The loss of a loved one is never easy. I still haven't been able to do what you've done here in this video w/ the loss of my mom. After watching this, you've inspired me to come to grips with it and overcome my emotional fears of facing it. Thanks for making this and putting yourself out there Winston.
Hey mate, that was really tough. You're a brave man for sharing your loss and pain. Respect!
Every human has the same feelings. No-one can replace your brother but I want to let you know you have many bothers and sisters.
Great comments and questions from so many.
My younger brother left us while he was in my arms literally seconds after telling me he was going to die. At the moment of passing, he looked as if he saw a window open and his eyes stayed open until I closed them. I feel like I have lost a limb. It will never be the same again but I'm going on with my life, experiencing new joys and new sorrows. I take comfort from the Gita (ch 2, vr 27): For one who is born, death is certain; for one who dies, rebirth is certain. Do not lament over what is inevitable.
May i ask what the cause of your younger brothers death was?
@@BigBodyBiggolo drugs buddy, drugs
Thanks for sharing :) Same thing happened to my dad during a surgery 2 years ago so I could relate.
Listening to your videos really helps me feel connected and less alone. Thank you for sharing the intimate parts of your life. I used to play Sonic and Tails with my brother and I always played Tails.
I think I believe like you do. I also had an experience when my mother passed. She came to me in a dream a few days later. She comforted me and it gave me peace and help me move forward. She was older so it was easier to accept her passing; but, that experience truly helped me move forward and accept the loss of my mother. I believe your brother's spirit came to you, as well.
Losing a younger sibling is incredibly difficult. You were at a challenging time in your life being a teenager and trying to figure out your identity and who you are in becoming an adult. Also, being an older brother and his protector to some degree had a big impact because in this instance; you couldn't protect him. I am sure that had an impact, as well, even though it was in no way your fault.
You sharing with your community here was a good idea; you went through grieving this day that you didn't maybe deal with properly as a young man.
My heart goes out to you; as you deal with this incredibly sad memory.
I feel your pain mate and it is good to talk. I lost my brother in 2009 and we were both adults but it still hurts now.
When I was young I found my dearly loved brother dead in his car. 25 years later I found my second son dead in his bed.Yes, it damages you. The brutal reality of permanent loss hits like a sledge hammer. The second time is much worse because you know what you are about to endure. .Everything you thought you you knew about life and love turns to dust. It's nothing like you may have imagined. I took to alcohol for years when my son died and now I find myself working full time well past retirement to try and recoup what I lost. It's a brutal world.
🌺 I can’t imagine that pain.
May you find peace my Luv.
The Amount of pain is surreal
Stay away from drugs kids
I’ve always loved your shows. Your heartfelt sorrow breaks my heart for you. You are a fine man Winston!
Man you had me in tears watching you all emotional! Maybe it was good to talk about this and get it out like that! Your only human brother! I wish I could’ve given ya a hug bro! Just know he’s up their watching you and he’s proud of the man you became! How could he not! We all love ya too!
My sentiments too. This had me in tears.
I would encourage you to talk more about Miles to those closest to you and when you feel the emotion, don't shy away from it. Clearly you have never properly grieved for your brother. This weight on your shoulders has finally started to be lifted.
Yea it makes perfect sense! you felt him giving you a hug, your body is just a mechanical tent, the you is inside.
He went out and embrazed you, and you felt that.
Accept it my friend.
Your brother's compassion for you is so rich and beautiful, that, even in death, he made a point of visiting you to hug and comfort you just before you would receive the terrible news about him by phone. A sibling crossing the veil of death to make sure his brother is going to be ok...wow, that's one fantastic brother! He must have had a heart of gold.
Thanks for sharing, Winston. My mum died suddenly (drink) just over 18 years ago when I was in my early 20s. 3 years later my older sister also died of a heart attack (we never got on). Coming from a small family, that doesn't leave me with many direct relatives. I can't imagine how awful it must be to lose such a young child but the memories are one thing you must cherish. I loved that comment at the end about the fox being called Miles. I bet he wanted to play him because of the name. Very sweet 😊♥️
Thank you for talking about your brother Winston. This video has really offered me massive inspirations in deal with losses. My step-mother just passed away today due to a car accident. Although she wasn't my biological mom, I had lived with her for over 10 years and we do share tons of memories with each other (good and bad ofc). She was a responsible and considerate lady who vastly cared about my education even though I wasn't her own child. I wish her a great afterlife - R.I.P.
I lost my son last year,it still feels like yesterday to me,the pain never goes away,as well as the love you have for each other !
Everyday I am in pain,see him here in his room,in our house,...can smell him still in his blanket. I feel not fair,cause I am still here,and hes not. I am sorry for your loss Winston. He will always stay a part of your live.
Hey Winston, my sister was 6 when she was in a horrifying school bus accident. She survived, it took a year to recover. Those events change everyone for life. Thank you for sharing this tender part of your life.
Thank you for sharing! And if I can give you and anyone else advice: don't keep your feelings to yourself, don't try to extinguish emotions. If you need to cry? Do that, your body literally needs it to release the stress it's going through. Yes, you might never recover from loosing a loved one, but you should not keep emotions locked inside of you. No shame in having emotions.
True. If you suppress grief, it suppresses joy too. Learned that the hard way.
Losing a beautiful, innocent brother that way is devastating. We have lost children in our extended family and they never leave us, returning in conversation and memories. Hugs to you Winston, and thanks for sharing about Miles. Prayers of healing for your family.
That was really brave of you bro...and it was well done and genuine. Thanks for sharing Winston.
That was tough for you, I admire your courage to share this so freely and naturally.... it is hard to talk about a departed loved one but it is all part of being a family, of loving someone. I admire you all the more for being a man who doesn't mind showing his feelings.... we need more like you, who can discuss the emotion without being completely wiped out by it. I am a 74 year old woman (daughter, sister, divorcee, widow, mother, grandmother, friend) so I have lost many dear ones through the years, I know what you are experiencing. It is hard to show our innermost souls but it is precious when we see a genuine sharing. Take care. x
I never know what words to use when conveying this kind of condolence. It feels as if the words are insufficient. I am sorry for your loss and I feel for your heartbreak.
My younger brother is about the same age difference as you and your brother. I talk to him every day, but hearing your story makes me want to tell him how important he is to me. He'll probably find it a bit unusual, but I won't always get to say it and it's not the kind of thing guys often say to each other.
Though you aren't particularly religious, since you have an open-minded attitude, please know that I will say a prayer for you and your family. If nothing else, it's a sincere expression of my heart-felt condolence.
Winston, it was really heartening to watch this, it made me emotional and im a very practical and logical person like yourself.
May i suggest you see a professional and talk about this, a safe space to actually let your emotions flow. The experience has obviously influenced your life and who you have become.
It may only be a one shot session but to process it could really help you alter your perception.
Your brother hugging you in that experience to me also seems like he knew how you were going to handle it.
Your a good man dude, be the best for yourself your partner and especially your daughter. x
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. I hope this was somehow cathartic, and moved you forward through your grief.
That's rough mate, but it's good that you're facing it after so many years. Don't be afraid to let it all out, it helps immensely in moving forward. We're here for you.
Winston, I'm so sorry to hear that. My childhood friend drowned in Lake Michigan along with a fisherman who jumped in to save him. It still breaks my heart to think about what might have been with him. What if I lost a lifelong friend, ya know? I think of him more lately and I feel like things could have been easier during tough times with him at my back.
Yea, all the "what if" scenarios will never leave. But that shows, I'd say, how much we care about the lost ones.
@@metalassassin8841 Yea, definitely.
Similar situation with my childhood friend. My friend Tristan got electrocuted by 11000 volts after being a typical 13 year boy, were climbing up some mains power overhead pylon I think in America their called Transmission towers? Any way we got this stupid idea to climb one. Despite the barbed wire and countless high voltage warnings signs we still climbed up. As my buddy got too the top he reached out to grab another girder and when he did he touched the over head cable with his elbow, and because he was in contact with the structure he was Earthed or Grounded in American terms and 11000 Volts went straight through his body down too ground. He instantly fell straight down 30/40 feet and hit the tarmac below. The voltage was that high it had blown most of his clothing off. Me and my other friend scrambled down too the floor in complete shock and panic, but as soon as got down even at 13 years old I knew he was dead. We ran too the nearest house as this was the 90s pre cellphone days and screamed at this poor lady to ring for a ambulance. They did CPR on him but it was obvious he was gone. I had nightmares for months afterwards, but I often think the same. What would he be doing today? Would he be married with kids? Etc etc. a life wasted through a few minutes of childhood recklessness.
I lost a good friend very young in 4th grade to leukemia. He was one of the first kids who welcomed me to this country. And he was gone only a year after. He had so much life and love to give it makes me sad to this day to think of him. But so glad I met him..
@@matty6848 My god, I'm so sorry. That must of been so traumatizing. That poor kid too.
Your human decency is always evident in all of your excellent videos. Thanks for this one!
This was very much unexpected, those photos brought back a flood of memories. I went on a snake capture trip to The Dukuduku Forest with your Dad, uncle Charles and a few others, one of the best two weeks of my life. It's rough to lose a loved one, my little brother Johnny passed last year, he was 59, thank you for sharing your story Winston.
Thank you for sharing Winston. I'm glad you and your family are out of China, USA needs work at the moment. We will get through this. Sorry about your brother 😞
amen Katame
@19:09 x'D
If I've learned anything it's to try and not bottle emotions. A majority of the time there's really no outlet. Personally I believe that this is connected to these shootings. People bottle and bottle not knowing what to do and it turns them into a time bomb. It's the worst kind because no one really knows a person's limits. I know people who can somehow deal with loss very well. That is certainly not that case in my family, but the best way I've found is to try and remember that happy moments and laugh and share them with others. You don't want to be stuck in a hole thinking 'why aren't they here with me.' After all how's he gonna run Miles if he's stuck in a hole with you?
That feeling of your brother giving you a hug, & telling you that everything was going to be okay, w.a.s. your brother's spirit talking to you, trying to give you some reassurance that h.e. was going to be fine, spiritually. And yes, I fully respect the fact that you do not believe in that kinda of stuff, but for me hearing your experience, & having gone through countless during my own lifetime thus far, I just wanted to say what I feel about your experience share. Thank You for taking the time to speak up about this, as it w.i.l.l. know doubt be a healing for other people. ✨🙇♀✨
You know, Winston, i need to say this..with this post you showed, why people love to watch your podcast, this was straight from the heart..and also yes, i think you should be very grateful for your china adventure, it really was awesome
I lost my mom, my grandson, and my dad in a 5 year span. It truly does leave you damaged.
My sister died when she was 18 ( I was 21) from an operation on a brain tumor. The worst part was having a bunch of people come up to me in super markets and asking “are you okay?”…. It was like “no my sister died. Why the fuck would I be okay?”… slowly realized they wanted me to be okay so they could be okay… eventually I came to see that it’s straight up okay to not be okay. The whole “moving past it” is a joke. Moving past it would mean I left her behind… Instead, I learned to accept her in her new form (whatever that is) and ask her for advice (which I receive in strange ways). I know you were trying to be “rational” here, and I would like to suggest the most rational thing to do when talking about these subjects is to feel really strong emotions. Much love and really appreciate you trying to talk through this in such a public way.
If you believe in the hereafter, you can live in the hope of meeting him again and hugging him back.
My father passed away when I was just 3 years old, I don't know how I was able to process that at such a young age. I'm so sorry about what happened to your brother.
Thank you Winston. Thanks for sharing this with me. My mother died totally unexpectedly during an operation to take care of some bad teeth. I never got to say thank you, goodbye or to even tell her i love her. I am inspired by your courage to discuss such a personal heartbreak especially during a livestream. I am in awe by the way you faced such pain head on and handled it. All the while keeping your emotions in check. I wanted you to know that you are a good man and a fine example of a human being. No doubt you make the world a better place.
I normally study in China but couldn't go back due to covid. I spent a year in Korea and found a really nice friend group. A few days before leaving, one of my good friends killed himself. Very bizarre, you spent a year with a person going to language school every day and then suddenly he's nothing else but ashes.
Thanks for making this video
I’m so sorry - it is very jarring to know they are here one day and gone the next. A girl I know who was due to do study abroad where I was killed herself. We were speaking a week or so before about what a great time she’d have and how excited she was. No one knows why she did it. Fucked with me that did. Take care of yourself
Hey mate, very raw to watch and brave to share that to an audience. Grief counselling is a thing and can help unpack even more to get you to a better place of acceptance.
Wow bro you have my condolences! What a wonderful, insightful video. I lost my little brother a while back. An I'm still learning how to deal with it. This video helped me feel less alone. Thanks Sir!
Grieving loved ones right now. This was helpful to hear. Thank you for putting it together!
Only 13 minutes in and I need to say; Giant respect my friend, from one man to another. What you're doing is good. It's good for you, and for others who might have also locked something away in the true "man cave". The cave that is the vault of our minds where we push issues we'd rather not see or deal with. The place women don't really know about or fully understand. FWIW, I too have had an experience when losing a loved one. My grandmother was in many ways like a mother to me and on a Saturday night, I was having the most vivid dreams about her. So real and vibrant it touched my soul. I've only had a handful of dreams that touched me where I could still feel the emotion when awake. This was the greatest. Monday morning at work, I got the call that she passed over the weekend. Saturday night to be exact. Too coincidental to ignore for me.