how kalvin garrah enables transphobia in his cis audience
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- hi!! this is my first ever yt video-as a former fan of kalvin garrah, i made this video as a way to hold myself accountable for my past beliefs and the way they’ve impacted my relationships with trans people and the trans community. kalvin garrah’s rhetoric allows cis people to justify their own transphobia, perpetuating an environment intolerant of the experimentation necessary to developing one’s gender identity.
thank u for clicking! leave ur thoughts below if u have any-i’d love to hear them
here are some much more thorough + competent videos about kalvin:
• Breaking My Silence On...
• Has Kalvin Garrah Chan...
• (finally) talking abt ...
misgendering someone because you dont like them, enforces the idea that someones gender identity is a privilege they have to earn
EXACTLY. which is such a horrible weapon to give cis people who want to make no effort to understand trans identities
Damn... This comment really cleared up a huge reason why I was probably so closeted about my gender, reprised it, and also sort of transphobic... : / This comment just makes too much sense, and It's sad to know that this is probably a main thought process, when policing other trans people :'( I'm pretty much out of the closet now! I feel a little bit more okay somedays, being somewhere on the non-binary spectrum! :')
Interestingly enough I've seen that done to cis women too by conservative men (not as common but more and more often as time goes on), who go and say "that's actually a guy, I can tell because of [insert stupid transphobic reasoning about her skeleton]". It really shows how they don't care about "biology" and just see misgendering as the attack that it is.
@@verybarebones ive seen the exact same shit, my friend is a cis woman who gets accused of being a “man” because she’s thinner
I feel like people dont understand until I give them this example: if you're mad at a black person and you call them the n-word(and you yourself are not black) you are racist. idc if you've never said anything racist before. treating people like humans only when they are nice to you is not equality
You make very good points and I think it is very helpful to hear these opinions from cis allies when it comes to how society views and interacts with the trans community. Kelvin and people like him need to be called out on how they are damaging the discourse.
On a technical note, you should trim some of the dead air you leave between your takes. It is a little jarring and a bit of polish on your videos may help you reach a wider audience with your message.
thank you for leaving ur thoughts jessica! i definitely don’t want to overstep my boundaries but his cis audience needs to be accountable for the way they’re letting his content affect them.
i also appreciate the tip!! i just learned how to import my clips into an editing program (embarrassing lol) and i’ll definitely try to trim things down to make it easier to listen to in my next videos :) have a great day!
As a cis guy I literally used Kalvin's videos as a basis of educating myself on trans stuff and since I've got trans friends and actually talked to trans people now just... wow I can't beleive I was supporting a transphobe. I never harassed anyone but I'd be lying if I said it didn't shape how I thought, happy to say that's changed
it’s important to have a wide perspective on influential things like these!! i’m glad you were open to new ideas :)
I did the exact same ! Like the intention was always for educating myself so as not to hurt someone unintentionally (ironic). Now, thanks be to God I took his stuff with a grain of salt that would only discuss with other cis people in like an appropriate setting because I figured everyone's different and maybe even discussing might be hurtful. At the end of the day the confusing part was ok this doesn't seem right, but this dude is trans and im cis so who am I to question it.
It's good to hear cis people's realizations about Kalvin too. As a trans teen, I was drawn into the truscum mess as well. He actually made my dysphoria worse because, as you said, the space he created for all of us trapped us in even smaller boxes. Believing that, if you don't fit the box, you aren't the gender you identify as is tiring as hell. I was a dick to my community too. I guess it really is a vicious cycle of insecurities and transphobia.
i've read SO MANY trans people talking about how harmful kalvin's ideas were to their own personal formation of their identites and it's just so painful to read :( western society is already very difficult to navigate as a trans person and to have more unrealistic standards being enforced BY OTHER TRANS PEOPLE-- i just can't imagine how exhausting that must be. i agree it's totally self perpetuating and i'm happy to hear that you escaped that headspace :)
Dude, yes. I 100% agree with dysphoria worsening because Kalvin put trans ppl in a box. I had been questioning my gender for around a year, and then I found Kalvin and in a way he forced dysphoria onto me by saying that if you don't experience exactly what he did you're not trans enough. Luckily I realized his content was making me feel really awful about myself and now that I don't engage with that kind of content I have finally become more comfortable in my gender. Really he's doing more harm than good to the trans community.
I only recently came out as nonbinary because I was scared of how people would view me. i just identified as a very fem trans guy before(even then I'd still see people tryna say people like me are transtrenders).
Same. I suppressed the fact that I am non-binary for many years due to the truscum mentality.
I am a trans guy but I have never been that "boyish", so when I started watching Kalvin I was influenced a lot by his ideas, I started to do certain things (like not liking pink at all, etc) and I was questioning the identities of other trans people just because of him. I'm still working to stop questioning other people's gender because even though I may not understand it, that doesn't mean they're not valid and not trans enough. It was nice hearing a perspective from a cis person and if you don't mind me asking,,, what are you going to do with this channel? To see if I'm interested and I can subscribe c:
Also, u are really pretty
ugh the RIDICULOUS shame around liking the color pink. it's small, but that's something i've grappled w as a girl too! not the same thing as a trans guy's experience, ofc, but i can understand ur rejection of gendered things in an attempt to meet some kind of "trans quota." i have to do the same thing; i catch myself questioning other people and have to take a step back and think, "ok, but is this any of my business--at all?" 100% of the time the answer is no. i think cis people need to learn to trust the trans experience. no one knows better how they feel than the person themselves.
i'm actually not sure! i'm uploading a video right now abt yaoi/boys love webcomics and how they enforce harmful stereotypes on gay men, but past that, i don't know. i'm hesitant to venture too far into lgbt discourse bc, while i'm not straight, a lot of those discussions aren't a place for me to insert my thoughts. anything in the future that catches my eye is fair game tho!!! thank u so much fr the compliment by the way! it made my night :))) have a wonderful rest of your day + thanks for leaving your thoughts!!
@@felixfantastique6590 I would love to see your video about this
Haven't watched the video yet but it's so cool to see another woman called Felix!! 💕
OMG i’ve only ever met 2 other women named felix!! do ur parents have a story abt ur name?
@@felixfantastique6590
This was my 'back-up name' in case I didn't like the one they gave me, and it turns out it suits me a lot better :)
@@gaymooshroom371 my bad, shouldn’t have assumed it was given by ur parents! that’s so cool-i’m glad u have a name u like :)
@@felixfantastique6590 @Felix Caitlin Very cool name!
@@felixfantastique6590 {No harm intended}
I was actually looking at your channel name and thinking "Are they a cis girl with an uncommon name, or a trans person that can't transition??"
One click later, tis a cis girl
(Unless you change your mind later in life)
YOU ARE A GOOD ALLY! :)) thnx for the video
i’m very glad i could contribute!!!
this is exactly my experience omfg... in middle school i had trouble with some of my friends bc they were experimenting with gender and i was so confused like "wHy Do YoU cHaNgE uR pRoNoUnS eVeRyWeEk" instead of understanding them. and after finding kalvin i, a cis girl, felt COMFORTABLE in my own transphobia, which is uhhh gross
yes!!!! he inadvertently gives cis people the authority to question instead of understand. or, if not understand, respect. even if ur confused by/don’t understand someone’s identity, it’s important to do things like refer to them w the right pronouns :) thank u for ur comment!
Obligatory comment from a trans guy here: I was a subscriber of Kalvin and watched his videos before medical transition and shortly after. It wasn’t a very long period of time, but he made my already debilitating dysphoria so much worse. I lean more masculine in expression, but I felt like I had to go to the extreme just to be valid. I dropped a lot of my hobbies I was interested in at the time because they were stereotypically feminine and I was so paranoid about being seen as a “trender”.
After starting hormones and beginning to be gendered correctly by others I slowly stopped caring what other people, especially those like Kalvin, think. He’s 100% projecting his insecurities onto others, and although I don’t feel too sad for him seeing the harm he’s caused, I do feel a little for him. I mean even if he does ever change his mind his channel is too lucrative now, and he’s really backed himself into a corner here. That and when he’s going for job interviews they’re gonna google him and see this..yikes😬
Anyway this comment is getting too long, so I’ll leave it here. This was a great video and I hope you post more in the future!
absolutely! he does seem to create a culture of fear that's really pervasive in influencing how people see/express themselves. this is such an eloquent comment omg.. it's so jarring how he literally influences people to stop doing things that bring them joy b/c it makes them "less trans." which is RIDICULOUS. how does putting a pigment on yr face or something make u less trans. ugh. it's almost like feeling secure in ur own identity releases u of relying on other peoples reassurance! it's like if kalvin didn't tear other people down so many more would feel comfortable in their own bodies! :( i'm very glad you gained perspective on his narrative. thank u a ton for leaving ur thoughts and i hope i see you again!! :)
I discovered I was nonbinary basically right before I found Kalvin's channel it wasn't the whole reason but it's a huge part of my closeting myself completely until literally a month ago. I'm so glad to be rid of him
that’s awesome to hear!!! it takes work to get there-i’m really glad you did!
SAME thing happened to me, I was very insecure abut it till now :(
I’m non-binary and the same thing happened to me.
UPDATE: youtube is doing a really cool thing where it shows a comment in my notifs but doesn’t show it in the comment section (???). super annoying and idk how to fix it. BUT. that’s the reason why some are going unanswered!! :(
hey guys!! while i’m appreciating the thoughtful commentary this is getting, i won’t entertain 15yr old edgelords + if ur comment is transphobic it gets deleted.
that being said, thank you for joining me in a respectful critique of kalvin and his content!
mmmmmmmmm yes I will delete and censor the things I don't like
no im totally not running away from my problems
@@brycedean3315 your name is very fitting
@@brycedean3315 it’s her own fucking comment section my dude she can do whatever the fuck she wants with it. if her goal is to nurture productive conversation bc that’s the goal of her channel and why people come here, she’s going to her best to do so by removing what is not productive to the conversation. it’s just practicality in achieving the ends. stop being butthurt.
@@anonanon4568
>nurture productive conversation
last I checked productive conversation is produced by open discourse and not circle jerking echo chambers
@@brycedean3315 i’m deleting comments that r downright transphobic and contribute nothing-there r people who disagree w me in the comments, if u scroll down a bit you’ll find me talking to them :)
He's basically the male version of blaire white, she has the same sort of content
I felt the same about Blaire White. I had become such a hateful person and didn't even realize it. Now, I'm shaking my head at my past self. Maybe we just all grew up.
Maybe so
there’s one thing in this video that really stood out to me, and it was when you said that nobody should be critiquing a persons gender. i used to be a fan of kalvin too, but putting it in that way, i realize how fvcked up it is to police a persons identity when the only thing they’re trying to do is live. i do identify as a trans dude and a lot of the stuff he did made me really self conscious about my physical and emotional characteristics, because i felt like i didn’t fit the mold of what a transgender man should be. now i realize that there is no mold, and there should never be a specific way to be transgender in the first place. thank you for this ❤️
i’m so glad that meant something to you!! a little secret-i went into this with a script, but a lot of it was just me talking. that bit about critiquing identity was the first time i had had that thought ever (unfortunately) and hearing myself say it, i was like wow, it really took me so long to come to this simple conclusion? i’m really happy this video rang true for you and i’m glad you came to watch :))
The one unlike is Kalvin
LOL can u imagine...
Contrapoints made a video talking about a lot of this and specifically talking about Kalvin called Cringe. it’s really long but it’s a good look at the kind of views that people like Kalvin spread and enable.
i’ll definitely watch it!! thank you! :)
@@felixfantastique6590 Yeah, she is older, but a lot more thoughtful and reflective.
Kalvin is so deep in his internalized transphobia. He acts more conservative in his viewpoint of gender and transphobic than some cis ppl even, its sad, it really is. I hope he someday finds peace and lets go of his fragile masculinity and just becomes proud of being trans by empowering others, not by hurting his peers. I dont feel he is proud of who he is and is full of internalized transphobia, if this is how he treats other trans people, i cant imagine the abuse he does to himself, but he also needs to be held accountable. Its not the Nonbinary Communities fault he has internal transphobia and they owe him no sympathy for it
I was never a fan of Kalvin but I had a similar experience with Blair’s White. I’m a cis girl as well ,Even though we had different views on a lot of stuff, watching her definitely shaped my past view on Enby people and I thought that they weren’t real for a while (despite this I never wanted someone to mock them). I’m so glad people are calling her and Kelvin our on this, and I’m proud to say I have realized Enbies are valid, along with 2 of my friends coming out as such. Thanks for sharing your experience with Kalvin! ❤️
i’m happy to hear that the same thing happened to other people!! blaire has done some pretty egregious things ugh
Y'know i was just watching his neopronouns video to get a trans person's opinion but when he started saying that Cis people are bullied by trans ppl for having opinions it just didn't sound right and reminded me of Blair white😓 glad you made this video, now I can avoid him!
Before I started watching Kalvin, I identified as nonbinary. But I started watching him, and I felt like I had to fit in more. I started to get more dysphoria and started to overcompensate as a boy. After a year, I stopped watching him, and after having talked to many nonbinary people, I realized I'm genderfluid. I still deal with his ideology even to this day.
it’s a pretty difficult one to shake, i hear :( glad to hear you’re more comfortable with yourself!
@safdasf safsafwa No it's completely okay. I'm not really sure how to explain it because it's also really confusing to me lol. But somedays I feel male, and present that way, and am happy when I'm viewed as male. Somedays I feel female, and present that way, but I'm not ready for people to see me that way, but that's more of a personal issue. Sometimes I feel nonbinary, and I'll wear whatever feels comfortable. But there's times I'll feel masculine or feminine and present with the other. It's really weird. It's just I can tell sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes a girl, sometimes neither, sometimes both, or sometimes something completely different. I've created a fun way to look at it that's helped me grasp it. I have a bunch of "dragons" inside of me, and each one is representative of a different gender. Sometimes they're asleep, sometimes they're awake, and sometimes they're half awake. Sorry about rambling so much, but I hope that helps a little.
I'm a trans guy, and I remember I watched one of Kalvin's videos and I didn't like it straight away. I could feel his speech was toxic and I never watched him again. It's horrible seeing a trans person advocating against their own community, I really can't stand it, it's too much. Trans people come in all forms, as cis people do too. There's no right way to be trans. Being a trans person doesn't allow you to speak for the whole community, and many (good) trans UA-camrs say that. So, don't always trust someone just because they seem to have authority to speak about something. His experience is a cutout. He is a masculine trans white man. Though he is trans, he is still privileged. And instead of recognizing it, he chose to mock people who are less privileged than him and create a wrong idea about trans people. It's really very sad.
From a trans guy to you, cis girl, thank you for caring and for speaking up!
i totally agree! his transition isn't and shouldn't be the blueprint for everyone else's. no one's transition should be! he's definitely not the authority on the subject, but he seems to be the loudest. i'm glad u didn't get pulled into his ideology lol. u bring up a good point when u say he's privileged-- that's something i hadn't considered but must def contribute to his success as a trans creator. it really is sad. :( thank you for leaving your thoughts, s!!!
@@felixfantastique6590 Wow, Felix, I didn't know he was so loud. Maybe he is louder for cis people than trans people? I don't know. Now I would like to know what his major audience is... I'm especially sorry for gender non-conforming people falling into his narrative. I've seen in the comments here some did. Certainly, he was damaging to them. I've discovered trans people with UA-cam videos, and it was very helpful for me. I follow so many trans guys. I'll say some names of queer UA-camrs in case anyone is searching for some good reference: Aydian Dowling, Alex Bertie, Leo Mateus, Kovu Kingsrod, Chella Man, Ash Hardel (non-binary). There's Georgia Bridgers too, she's a cis bisexual woman and has a non-binary sibling, her channel is very welcoming too. Please people, don't follow someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Don't trust anyone who tries to tell you who you are. Trust the ones who make a comforting and loving place for you to be yourself. Sending love!
@@s.ribeiro1836 oh he DEFINITELY appeals to cis people (in a way that really enabled his popularity, i think). it's hard as a cis person to understand the effect of this stuff on trans people, esp, like u mentioned, nonbinary people, and i think we should be considering it much more than we have. thank you for naming some good lgbt youtubers!! i'll definitely take a look. i absolutely agree. i really hope the people who werer hurt by him find people like that. enjoy the rest of your day!!!!
Lol I did the same thing for blaire white
@@trishcoffey222 I'm sorry about that :( I've heard about her through Sam Collins videos. She's really horrible. Sam is a trans guy and he usually does videos reacting to transphobes like her and bigots in general. It's the only way I can go through these people haha
I think I watched one of Kalvin's videos years ago. I don't remember the video well enough to know what it was about but I do remember how confused it made me feel. I wondered why a trans person would disrespect another trans person. I wondered why Kalvin's words hurt me when they were directed at someone else.
I didn't know much about the non-binary community at the time and because of Kalvin and in the recent years, Blaire White, I wanted it to stay that way. I knew something about Kalvin and Blaire's beliefs were wrong. I just didn't know what was wrong and instead of trying to understand what it was, I ignored non-binary identities and people who are non-binary entirely; including my own non-binary identity. I let go of a significant part of myself before I even knew what that was was to live my life in the way a person like Kalvin would want me to.
I realise now why Kalvin hurt me when he hurt someone else. He hurt me because I'm not cis, I'm not binary and I'm certainly gender non-conforming just like the person in the Kalvin video that I watched. My hair length is short and masculine, my style of clothing can be feminine, androgynous or masculine depending on what I want to look like for a particular day and my pronouns would make a person like Kalvin uncomfortable. Kalvin calling others transtrenders is why it took so long to understand my gender. From the hurtful transmedicalist ideology stuck somewhere in my mind, I wasn't able to have even one opportunity to let myself be myself as I was too afraid to be recognised as a transtrender.
Well, I don't really care anymore. I'm trans. No beliefs from a person like Kalvin will make me any less trans than I am. I just wish trans people like Kalvin would realise that regardless of whether or not you are against non-binary people as a binary trans person yourself, most transphobes will still have bigotry for you; no amount of non-binary discrimination will change that.
first of all let me say that i'm so happy to hear you've found peace with your identity. it's incredible to hear that you relieved yourself of the unrealistic expectations people like blaire and kalvin enforce upon their own community! i'm really glad that you found your validation within yourself instead of using your energy trying to fulfill someone else's; that's really powerful and not at all easy. i have to wonder how many people kalvin has confused/prevented from discovering their identities; it's like putting people thru an unnecessary maze to happiness that never needed to be there in the first place. hopefully in the future, the most widely-recognized trans youtubers won't be the ones that are popular just bc they appeal to traditional gender roles/conform to cis ideas of what a trans person "should be." thank you for leaving your thoughts and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day :)
Yaaaaas, first Brennen Beckwith and Ashton Daniel spoke out and now we also have a cis perspective on all this mess that went on for far too long honestly, and I'm speaking as another cis ex-fan of Kalvin. Great work!
if we r gonna deconstruct his ideas it’s gonna take all of us!!! thank you!!!!❤️
I’m so glad we have ally’s with brains
the least i can do is acknowledge my past actions in a constructive way--i hope other cis members of his audience will follow suit!
as a cis person who used to watch kalvin, you took the words right out of my mouth
i’m glad other people feel the same way, thank u julia!!
Hi, thanks for this video! I was questioning my gender when I found Kalvin, and it put me in a box. I began to question the validity of other trans people. I later on realized I didn't always feel like a man, and came out as genderfluid, then finally realizing I was a cis girl. But yeah, he impacted the way I looked at trans people. I'm starting to unlearn all of that, thanks to other trans people on UA-cam that I love.
he definitely stunts people’s ability to experiment, which is so crucial to finding comfort with who you are :( i’m glad you’re making an effort to unlearn that stuff! it’s hard! i’m there too:)
Very well said. I've heard a lot of input from trans people on this issue (and given my own), but it's nice hearing a cis perspective on how it impacts people and influences transphobia. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
thank you for leaving your thoughts finnjamin!! i’m glad i can contribute to a thoughtful critique of kalvin and his content and i’m glad it’s adding something to the discussion:)
Kalvin always targeted people who were either young or socially smaller (as in platforms) than him/his channel to rip on
Lesson is: Watch Sam Collins :)
@@decomposingdiamond7355 wait what?
HAHA YESSS him and copshatemoe r two of my favssss
@@felixfantastique6590 OHHHHH I CAN'T READ lmao I didn't know that was another youtuber! Sam is one of my favorite youtubers in general :)
@@decomposingdiamond7355 i love copshatemoe, they can pacify me with their vids of music
I hope you watch better trans youtubers now like Jammidodger and Noah Finnce, there are bunch of out there if you look around.
yes!!! i’ve definitely branched out and it’s helped me work toward becoming a better ally :) thank u for ur comment!
@safdasf safsafwa hah really? poor jamie
his opinions are not well thought out. his opinion on asexuality and that ace people aren’t oppressed is gross. he must have not researched before opening his mouth.
never heard felix as a girl's name before,, it's so lovely!
thank you!!! i didn't like it much when i was younger but now i think it's pretty kickass >:)
@@felixfantastique6590 yeah it def is. also thanks a million for making this video. it's so needed and so so insightful.
@@evanusher8205 i’m glad it’s adding something to the discussion :)
I was not on the Kalvin Garrah train for long but I think it’s caused some permanent damage anyways. I’m a trans teen. I’m still experiencing with my identity but I think I’ve found this to stick as well. I backed away and I saw these people who’ve been hurt by him and now even though I know he was wrong my dysphoria and confusion about myself has gotten even worse.
Ok so, I never watched Kalvin, I didn't even know he existed until I started to watch more queer commentary youtube channels, but as a masc leaning nonbinary person Kalvin and that kind of mentality that he preaches has greatly impacted me and my own internalized transphobia. The realization that I'm nonbinary was a fairly recent thing for me, and it took a lot of fighting with myself to accept the fact that I was nonbinary, because although I experience gender dysphoria with my assigned at birth gender, it still doesn't feel right for me to be referred to as "the opposite" gender (hence nonbinary), and for several months I had to fight with myself to try and prove that I wasn't making it up, or being a "transtrender". I'm honestly still terrified of being perceived as a transtrender (even though I don't believe that there's such a thing, I'm still scared that others will see me like that). The toxicity of the transtrender mentality is horrible, and incredibly damaging, especially to the nonbinary community because we aren't trying to be the perfect trans man or woman, we are trying to be ourselves and express ourselves how we feel comfortable.
It's scary and uncomfortable to think that these kinds of people have an influence that extends beyond just the people who chose to watch them, but they do. That pervasive and judgmental mentality is one that has deeply impacted me, and caused me a lot of crisis even though I never watched him, I don't want to say it was completely his fault, because it isn't; he wasn't the first person to hold these transphobic views and he certainly isn't the only one who does currently, but the size of his platform means that he is able to actively spread these harmful views to thousands (hundreds of thousands? idk how many followers he has) of people.
I love how people are starting to call Kalvin out on his behavior
hi! so i’m a cis girl, and i used to watch a lot of calvins videos. i think i’ve always been a very open minded person when it came to gender identity, but when i found calvins channel, i was changed for the worse. i used to think that this whole “transtrender” thing was real, and that sort of thinking is extremely harmful. no one has the right to tell another that they don’t identify as how they identify. nowadays, i still have trouble with it-especially with neopronouns popping up more in my life (don’t worry, i understand them now, but i didn’t at all when i was first exposed to them). i think calvins abrasive and lack of understanding is something we shouldn’t bat an eyelash at-his videos really messed with me, and i’m sure they messed with lots of others as well. i hope he realizes the errors of his ways sooner rather than later.
I used to watch kalvin at a time when i was 'exploring' my gender and his content made me think I was a trender for the longest time because I liked makeup and earrings and shit. It makes me so angry to think that maybe if I didn't watch kalvin's videos, I might have been confident enough to come out and that I could have already started transitioning by now.
this was exactly my experience with Kalvin
IM GLAD OTHER PEOPLE CAN RELATE
can’t believe I used to like Kalvin, even after what he did to Brennen,,, thank you for the video and shedding light on this topic! ❤️
thank U for ur comment, my dear teeth eaters anonymous 😽
Hello Felix.... Just my 3¢ .. I definitely don't think you should at all feel ashamed about being a fan of his and that you believed the things he says etc. Rather look at it from a different angle in regards to you growing into a better human being with alot of care and compassion and understanding. And telling your story of how it effected your thinking and views towards a certain community and speaking up about him and what is wrong with the things he says and does .. Because as I believe that hate is something that is learned thus you were only doing what you were taught to do. But you grew from that and worked to the point that you realized just how wrong and bad it was. To me that speaks such volumes to your character and to you as a decent and good humanbeing . And of course much of it was your own thoughts and actions, you speak to them and take full accountability for that and yourself and you appologize.. again that says Soo much more to me in regards to just seeing your a good person that did hit some bumps in the road . I mean we all have had those and will continue to have them . And that is okay... At the end of the you still going to feel how you feel , but I hope you don't carry a heavy burden in feeling ashamed because I just don't think you need to feel that way in regards to your story. I do thank you for growing as a person for speaking your truth and sharing your story and for speaking up about someone who's thoughts and actions are just not good and explaing very well why they are bad. And I wish you the best as you continue down your road and for anything that your channel might bring.. Happy Thanksgiving!!
thank you very much for this! i look back on a lot of my past actions when i was at this phase in my life and i just cringe. personally i was dealing w/ a lot of unhappiness and i think i did take that out on other people--questioning other people made ME feel more secure abt myself. it's definitely uncomfortable to reflect on that and hold myself to new standards, but i appreciate your insight and it's rewarding to look back on how much i've grown thru the years. it's hard to change such deeply rooted beliefs but i think we all have it in ourselves to become better, more tolerant people. i hope it becomes easier for us as a society to value the way people can change gracefully + commit to doing better in the future! thank you for leaving your thoughts and have a wonderful day!!!
@@felixfantastique6590 Sure thing Felix.. but it was all the truth .. and again we are just all on our own journey and as we experience things in life both good and bad we change for both good and bad.. and as you just talked about the when why were and how, I think you gave an exact textbook answer that anyone would say for themselves as well. Heck most everyone grow and change pretty rapidly thus we are different people then we were the year before .. But all anyone can really do is to appologize for their shortcomings and make an effort to change learn and grow. The really bad aspect about it currently is that people use to only have to worry or deal with a bully and or their small group at their school or wherever. Whereas now it can just be one person pointing someone out online and it just amplifies from one to thousands+ or bully's attacking and being nasty. On top of that you have had a person in office as president do sooo much of the sane things.. So when they do that it just makes it seem ok or like it's no big deal for people to say or act that way...
And trust me when I say that I know myself that I can't always work on and try to just be a little more kind and understanding to others .. and every day I think multiple times that something is going to make a big change in how we are as a society and how we treat others .. I really thought at the begining of this pandemic that was going to be the thing , because I felt alot of stuff was kinda put into focus for everyone , But sadly as it has continued to go on people just went back to old ways if not even worse then before .. so while I do hope you keep that thought and hope alive with you ... I'm just way to old and very jaded in regards to people and society today .. and not in the pessamist negative Nancy kind of way, but rather just the reality of were we are now, I don't have any hope or faith that things will ever get better. And that's because as people have gained rights and freedoms in the past it has never really gotten better to the point that they are looked at as equal and with prejudiced. And that goes for African American or other minorities, for woman or LGBTQ+ . It just simply has not happened ..
Anywho I'm sorry for that rant as it was not my intention.. but at the end of the day I believe your a good person and will continue to be a good person or possibly even Gooder person!!!...Lol
you speak so beautifully and articulately that it hurts
hi wow felix cool vid! i agree with a lot of what u said. although i think u still have some learning 2 do... since u shit talk emoji pronouns n stuff on ur twt, plus some tone indicators. im a gnc trans person that uses them n i thought that was a lil weird that u r talking down on them.. anyway long time no see 🧚
hi tobiaskin, ur absolutely right. im not the authority on trans ideas/presentation at all. i dont have excuses for those things (as a cis neurotypical person it's not my place to decide how people use pronouns/dictate tone). frankly i'd like to apologize for the insensitivity of those tweets and i'm sorry to say that they were part of your introduction to my content. but i can say that they came out of ignorance/an unwillingness to understand + i don't stand by those ideas any more. clearly i still have ingrained transphobia to work on--i'm definitely not perfect. thank u for calling this to my attention so i can recitfy it!
im glad that people are finally realizing how toxic he is, thank you for making this video ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
When i was in 8th grade i was questioning my my sexuality. This led me to want to more about the LGBTQ community. I knew that I would never misgender or harrasse trans people so i thought i was fine ,but that's not it that's literally doing the bare minimum. He still implement transphobic ideas and i thought "well he trans something he must be right." Im so glad i grew and was able to get myself out of that toxic mindset.
Kalvin's videos are part of the main reason I didn't seek help for my gender dysphoria because I didn't feel authentic enough even though I've suffered from these feelings from an early age.
I thought I would regret it in the future because that's what he would say about less binary trans people.
I had to reach a breaking point before I realized that I can't live like this, so now I'm waiting to get help. It sucks knowing that if I hadn't repressed it I could have had gender affirming surgery by now.
i STILL can't find my identity because of him
i’m really sorry to hear that jade. it sounds awful to struggle in that way. i hope you can find peace with yourself soon ❤️❤️
@@felixfantastique6590 thank you!
I feel like you give a really good perspective of the cis Kalvin fan. I used to watch him when I still identified as cis, and I relate a lot to what you said. To me it seems like the majority of his audience are cis people rather than trans people and after I found my identity I was like "no wonder". good video, good perspective, and good on you for growing as a person!
as a transmasculine non-binary person who hoards labels due to the need to be specific bc of my autism, i really value this video coming from a cis person. kalvin garrah has directly hurt me before, like many other people. im not sure if my experience is a bit different from other people's, but basically i had forced myself into a box of someone i didn't like, i forced myself to stop liking "feminine colors" and "feminine things", i stopped myself from being authentic and the span of the year i watched his content, that was some of the worst years of my life. i had forced very dysphoric feelings on myself and watching his content just amplified forcing myself into a dysphoric frenzy.
i had experienced little to no dysphoria when i never even KNEW about the "dysphoria debate". i was just happy, being my authentic self. i knew i was trans, and nothing could've changed that. i really wish i could go back to that, because i frequently question if im cis because of him and the self-doubt he put in me. it's always those 3 AM thoughts before you go to sleep of "i feel indifference to my body even though i feel like HRT and surgeries would be beneficial. am i lying to myself? am i actually just cis?" and then it gets to a point where im just like "ill figure it out tomorrow", i'll sleep, and then think that it was stupid of me to think that in the first place in the morning, but it still repeats and i get more confused about shit. this is very recent, and i haven't been in a great headspace lately, so that could explain it. but it just feels.... weird to have all this stuff running through your head, *just because* you don't feel suffering with your trans identity, but more indifference, and a disconnect. the only thing that i really have right now is social dysphoria, and that's not much of a problem anymore as well, due to me getting gendered properly by my parents and friends. the only thing i HATE doing is having to write my deadname and also feeling like i can't leave the house without a binder. those are the only things that bug me, but most of the time i don't feel the distress that dysphoria is. i KNOW i would be so much more unhappy if i were to try to be a cis girl. even the words "girl" and "woman" make my skin crawl. im not a woman, and i know that much. but sometimes it feels like it'd be easier to be that, because then i wouldn't have to deal with all this confusion. i know ill figure it all out one day, but im very focused on trying to get myself on T because i very much want to go on it, so hopefully that will give me a lot more confidence in identifying the way i do.
anyways, that was my rant. i hope it made some sort of sense, because it is like 2 AM here.
“Besides Blaire white, but that’s a whole other can of worms.” Subscribed.
Great video to watch, you should be proud of yourself for speaking out against the dehumanization perpetrated against the community. I also strive to be the best ally I can, and it makes me happy to see the younger generation actively crafting a more compassionate world the way you’re seeking to. It’s inspiring to see.
thank you mal!! it's difficult to become self-aware of my past and current actions but it's the absolute bare minimum and the first step in creating that more compassionate world :)
I relate to this view very heavily, I watched him somewhat religiously 2 years ago and was sure I'd only use she/her pronouns because obviously theres no possibility otherwise because nonbinary people aren't valid. I'm pretty sure me from 2 years ago would hate me now as I use she/they pronouns and would probably call myself a trender. I'm still not sure if I'm actually trans or just have a disconnect with the female gender, but I would have never been able to explore using pronouns if I didn't leave the toxic mindset I had when I was watching him.
yes!!! i’m glad you’ve given yourself the opportunity to explore!! that’s so important!!! :)) thank you for commenting!
@@felixfantastique6590 I had to cut off some of my friends who still subscribed to his views as the moment I said I might be nb they immediately scrutinized everything about my identity. Trans medicalism on the outside makes sense, but the only reason for that is because it's not that far from what cis people are used to. It makes cis people feel safe that yes trans people exist, but oh this man is right and he's trans but these other people who don't fit into their view are wrong. Passing and trans medicalism are inherently transphobic because it's not to further the trans community, but to cater to cis people in order not to make them uncomfortable. Also notice how every person he has done a video on in the past has been feminine. Calvin projects his insecurities onto the people he harasses, feminity is scary to him, and if these people don't look like him, then that's a threat. He has a shit ton of toxic masculinity so therefore he must control the way other trans people live their lives to compensate for his insecurities.
I’ve watched many videos about Kalvin from those who were trans but it’s nice to see a video from a cis person who was a former fan of Kalvin like me. I began to really get into the community when I began to question my sexual identity and while I never questioned my gender identity (I’ve always knew I was a girl so there was no need too) I was getting videos about trans people because I was watching more LGBT+ content. So I watch those too, so I could know about trans people and how to be a good ally too them. Unfortunately Kalvin was one of the first people I came across and it certainly wasn’t healthy for me. While I never went out and attack people who fit the ‘standard’ I just stayed silent which is also not good. Luckily I found better trans youtubers and made friends with trans people online and now have a better understanding of trans people even if I don’t know it all yet. It’s a shame so many cis people come across Kalvin or Blaire or others like them when trying to understand the community more.
Now that's what I call ✨ character development ✨
i'm a cis girl. i used to watch kalvin all the time wayy back in 2016, when I was just starting 8th grade. i'm so embarrassed to say that i fully based my knowledge of trans people around his harmful, HARMFUL rhetoric. it took me becoming friends/consuming content with actual trans folks (and enbies) to actually understand that the trans community does not exist as a monolith with a single speaker. it consists of many unique voices that deserve to be heard, and are meant to be respected.
thankfully, i was part of that very, VERY small population of people who used to consume anti-SJW propaganda like it was candy, but never went out and spewed the hatred i saw in the videos because i knew the weight that words carry. i thank gosh that i never did. nobody deserves to hear the shit kalvin said to these poor people. nobody.
I’m so glad I found Brennan’s video because I really took kalvin’s word on everything. It’s horrific how engrained into me that is now- but I’m working hArd to not follow it anymore. I started watching him when I was maybe 13 or 14 ?? And i wish I could change that- but I’m glad to be out of that now. And I’d like to apologise to anyone who I even thought illy of- it’s just gross.
im really glad that this conversation is opening up, thankyou
I appreciate this video as a nonbinary femme person I know Calvin would HATE, I'm glad to hear cis people speak up
Thank you so much for making this video! I'm so glad you shared your proper perspective on it, and I hope this gets to more people because you are SO CORRECT! You're so pretty and I hope you make more content, you're really eloquent and smart, and I'm so glad you're spreading a positive messages and respectfully pointing out someone's flawed behavior. Thank you for this video
thank YOU for the comment!! i'm glad it's helping people!!! this is such a sweet comment it made my night xoxoxo
I think it's very interesting that Kalvin seems to think people like Brennan are harmful to the trans community when many cis people (myself included) have learned a lot of transphobic beliefs from watching his videos
I've had a similar experience, but with Blaire White. I hate that I let myself be drawn in by her hateful content, and I'm SO glad I eventually found better people with healthier views to learn about the trans experience from
as a nonbinary person, i do really want to thank you for sharing your experiences on how this content affected you!! it's interesting to know how this affected so many people's ideas about the community, especially how it affected someone who wasn't a part of that community.
As someone who had a similar experience, watching kalvin talking to my friends about the “crazy transtrenders” he would talk about, and growing more transphobic by the second. I’m glad to see that this weird delusion he had people under is starting to wear off. I remember thinking I may be trans, and then using his videos to explain to myself why I can’t be. I was held back for years from experimenting with my identity because I thought it was transphobic to do so. Because that’s what Kalvin said. And now I’m just kinda lost lol.
Please make more videos! This was fantastic. Intelligent and sensitive. Thank you.
thank you so much alon!!
Thank you for your perspective, I hope you have a good day
i really appreicate this video! as a nonbinary trans person it means a lot to see our allies both take accountability for themselves and help us (the trans community) hold ppl like kalvin accountable. it shows that you're listening. much love & proud of your growth
For anyone who wants some good trans youtubers check out Jammiedodger, Sam Collins and Samantha Luxe.
You're so pretty!
thank you so much!!!
Watching his content was the absolute worst thing I could've ever done. He just made me feel more dysphoric. I put myself to a extreme standard and it just made ever thing worse. Thank you for this video! 💖
Everyone has a Kelvin Harris mine was Blair white. I am so sorry
what a great ally, new sub gained :)
thank you!!!
This is a really good video ♥️, you're a good ally
i wish he would watch this :(
As an older person (I'm 30 now), I expected some of the changes that I have already seen in Kalvin. Breaking with Arielle Scarcella I saw a long time coming, before he made a video about it. I predict that in the future, when Kalvin is maybe in his mid-20s or so, he'll probably look back and be ashamed of his actions. He might even make a video about it. His actions are a result of immaturity. I do not think he is a horrible and evil person, but just a very immature one. He doesn't understand what he has been doing, but he will.
i agree with you! i think there's definitely an underlying insecurity and immaturity to kalvin's actions. he often comes off as defensive. his discomfort and anger are justified, but the way he acts on it (imo) is not. thank you for commenting!
Off topic but you are pretty sis 😌
thank you so much!!! 😭😭 yall r inflating my ego
I'm so glad people are talking about this because cis people educating themselves on trans people through his videos is so harmful in so many ways, it reinforces the "good trans" and "bad trans" stereotype the good trans being someone who fits in cisnormative norms
absolutely! trans people shouldn’t be forced to present one way to be accepted
while i am now identifying as a she/they i completely relate to what you are saying. whilst watching him i convinced myself that he was right because he was a trans guy and i feel disgusted at myself.
it’s hard to realize you’ve been buying into such awful things :(
The main issue I see with Kalvin and Blaire and youtubers alike, is their fanbase. Their fanbase is, dare I say, mostly younger cis men, who are looking for people getting bullied for their personal amusement. They wouldn't care less about the actual well-being of the trans people, but they only accept Kalvin and Blaire for they pass so well and support their transphobic narratives.
Similar thing is happening for a local youtuber I've followed for a while, she has a really toxic and black-and-white fanbase. She says she's here for the trans people, and I do believe she wishes to help (at least some) trans people. But her choice of words, dismissing attitude towards trans people different than her, and never calling the overreactions of her fanbase out, only attract (cis) transphobes, regardless her personal said or genuine goals. The same can be said about the fanbases of many MGTOW youtubers, vegans and feminists. The need to appear "as the sane one" while talking to the general public about a marginal matter can do harm for the actual matter. You pic and choose who to save and who to burn in order to look like you still "have the principles". I think this is a sad trend currently going on in the social medias in general.
i COMPLETELY AGREE.
I'm a pansexual cis woman who used to support Kalvin too, or almost did. I'm still learning a lot about trans people and what is and is not true about the trans community. Kalvin almost lead me astray. He's too gatekeepy and rigid. The fact that he's good friends with Blaire White is also a red flag. Blaire White's kind of awful.
blaire white's totally awful. amen
As a cis girl who also used to watch and agree with Kalvin's and Blaire's views I totally get where you're coming from. I personally never met a trans person irl but I used to be ecxeptical towards non binary people because I had this beleif that they weren't genuine when in reality whether they are genuine or not that is none of my bussiness. I'm glad I grew out of that phase honestly...
i'm so glad you've reflected! i'm in the exact same boat nahi :)
you really made me think, i never consider the cis people watching. it's like he doesnt care about the context. some people dress a ccertain way for safety, or are in different points of exploring their expression... and he just puts a target on anyone not on hormones or surgery that looks too much like their birthsex. it's really not okay
this is a really good point! kalvin seems to make a lot of sweeping generalizations in his videos :(
i used to watch some of his content, the nitpicking he does is fucking insane, the one thing that sticks with me is that putting up a middle finger with your thumb sticking out is feminine (??) after hearing him say that, i couldnt think of him the same.
as a trans guy, i think hes projecting his dysphoria onto others, especially nonbinary people. he cant imagine not having the same dysphoria and inner voice as him, especially when it comes to binary trans guys doing fem things, and that makes him angry. i legitimately think if he stopped being so terminally online hed be less hateful.
it sounds like it! he sounds like he’s in a lot of internal pain to be honest and yeah, like he’s forcing it onto others. it’s really unfortunate and i do wish he was relieved of that instead of enforcing it on every other trans guy. :( thanks for ur comment!
kalvin introduced a whole storm of internalized transphobia for me, whether it was questioning my own or others identities . it fucked me up for so long and i genuinely dont think children should be allowed to access his content, yes differing opinions should be voiced and heard but his content is toxic and on influential children its so harmful.
the way he delivers a lot of his messages is super abrasive and, i agree, not something small kids should be watching. it kind of reminds me of the alt-right pipeline, how it starts w making fun of sjws and stuff. super dangerous and very predatory. thanks for ur comment :)
Kalvin does accept non-binary people. He has an issue when someone is complaining about not passing when they do everything that makes them not pass.
that’s not what my video is about! :)
I'm a cis (?) guy and I also had my view of trans people warped by people like Blaire White and Kalvin.
I'm happy to be free from truscum ideology but I think it's good to hear from both trans and cis people on this topic.
Hell, I have recently been...questioning my gender, and I've only been able to feel free to do so once I was out of that space.
that’s wonderful! it’s so nice to hear that you’ve gotten the chance to explore that on your own time and w/o the weird boundaries kalvin and blaire place on transness:)) im happy u commented!!!
Kalvin and Blaire combined their channels' popularity and decided to appeal to cis people rather than uplift the trans community.
i could not have said it better myself!!
As a Non Binary person, Kalvin really hit me hard and it still hangs with me. Since i use to watch him while i was questioning it ended up causing a lot of problems since he instilled me with the idea that there are not more then 2 genders, which led me to months of extra questioning about the fact that I do not exactly fit nor want to be a full trans man. I'm mostly over it now but the shit he said still sometimes creeps up on me. I think the worst thing he does is with him being transmed, he pits trans folk against our own. Which is the worst form of transphobia as it's the community rotting from the inside.
that seems to be a common thread when people talk abt how kalvin affected them--hearing what he thinks abt the trans community in the MIDDLE of questioning ur gender identity must be just debilitating. PLUS hearing it from a trans guy, so u assume he must be right and correct on all things trans (as i did). i'm really sorry to hear that his content distressed you that way. it's good that you've overcome it and i'm really happy to hear that you're more comfortable with yourself :) thank you so much for leaving your thoughts starli and have a wonderful rest of your day!
I was in the same position, a cis person, who didn’t understand the lgbtq community, who ran into kalvin, who basically described himself as one of “the good ones” and made fun of anyone who doesn’t conform. I am disgusted, that i, myself even supported these beliefs and actually caught myself making fun of people who just wanted to express themselves. Really realising this blatant bigoted beliefs, I now realise my transphobic behaviour. Over the years after moving away from Kalvin and Blair I’m glad to say I’ve changed, and moved away from the disgusting behaviour Kalvin supported, and I once supported.
I can only remember ever watching like 1 or 2 videos by Kalvin, but I did it under the guise of wanting to know more about the Trans experience (which I know now is not at all singular or monolithic). I did it because I wanted to educate myself and be more supportive, but it just left me........confused. And at that point I honestly didn't know what to believe, and it led me to kind of hold back on my support of Trans people cuz I just didn't know what was going on. Were the people he was speaking about really Trans? Am I supposed to dislike "Trenders"? Are they really harming the overall Trans community? And all this other terrible stuff. I really regret that.
yes! his divisions of the trans community seem to just make things more complicated. his boundaries for what is and isnt trans also seem so weirdly arbitrary. thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Im gonna try to keep this as short as possible, but like as a cis person (as far as I know), kalvin really made me transphobic in a way I never perceived myself to be? Like I really bought into the transmedicalism rhetoric that he always preaches in his "transtrender" videos... I didn't even watch many of his videos to become a loyal fan or whatever and he yet was STILL able to color the way I saw gender non-conforming trans people because he seemed like an authority figure in the matter because he, himself, is trans. I don't know how long ago it's been since I've distanced myself from his content, but I know it started with me watching a video from Kat Blaque, where she was said something along the lines of "there is no singular trans experience that everyone follows because everyone experiences gender differently and it's not really mine or anyone's place to say something about it" which really made me realize that everytime i was looking at these supposed "transtrenders" and think anything negative of them based on appearance alone, i was being ignorant and intolerant to a certain degree. I'm really glad that I was able to get out of the mindset of a transmedicalist because, quite frankly, I have no idea what the other person's experiences or feelings are and it's not my or anyone else's place to judge them. It's about now that I realize I made this comment MUCH longer than intended, but I guess I have a lot of thoughts, haha... but now I have no qualms with how people present themselves or identify as because, in the end, people are far too complex to fit in all these tiny boxes society has created for identifying one's self! And for this being your first video, it's pretty good! You've got yourself another sub and i can't wait to watch the next video! :)
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. exactly what happened in my mind. thank you so much for this comment--it's good to know i'm not the only person that bought into kalvin's ideas! i'm very glad your views developed and changed. it's so important to realize our boundaries as cis people. we have no idea what the trans experience is like LOL
I'm hoping Kalvin will get the due backlash he deserves from this. I was a former fan too until I saw through the ruse. Basically if they don't fit his standards of what passes then they are irrelevant, or something to be mocked.
i really do hope he reconsiders the precedents he’s set, but my hopes aren’t too high given that it’s what he got famous for unfortunately:(
@@felixfantastique6590 I know few notable youtubers like Creepshow and TehMimi were supposed to have a round table discussion about it a while back. Along with Edwins Generation and a few others. Don't know if that ever happened or not. But Blaire White is just as guilty of it as Kalvin is.
@@poeticlicensetokill agreed. she’s definitely an instigator in the same way kalvin is :///
He's just the Leafy from the trans community really.
And the fact that he and Blair are the two biggests trans UA-camrs says a lot about the algorithm and what kind of trans people are able to "tolerate": gender and role conforming asshats from the right that shit on other trans people. They're only used the same way people say "I HAVE BLACK FRIENDS" when trying to avoid being called out in racist behavior. "It's not me saying, it's a trans person! So it's ok!"
Actually, Contra has now surpassed Blaire!
oh for sure. they’re def the most palatable token representation that people who watch blaire can deflect to when they’re called out for gatekeeping a community they’re not part of. all because they pass! is our tolerance that low? :(
100% same for me. Also you are so pretty
thank you so much!!! xoxox
also. unrelated. but you're really pretty.
thank you SO MUCH this made my day!!!! 😭😭xoxo
This is very true, you make very good points. I'm cis, and was raised in an EXTREMELY homophobic and transphobic home. After I came out as gay, it destroyed my relationship with most of my family. I assumed being gay that I wasn't homophobic or transphobic, but it actually takes years to unlearn and unpack prejudice. I started watching Kalvin in 2017 or so, and I'm ashamed to say that it influenced me to adopt certain ideas regarding who is and isn't valid and worthy of respect.
:( The thing that made me abandon those ideas and realize how wrong they are, is researching. :) I realized that if I support Cis men wearing makeup and dresses, why wouldn't I support feminine trans men?
I can relate cause I used to be an Anti-"SJW" (an overused annoying buzzword) but it was due to simply me being an ass over people talking about The 100 S3 on the Wikia page and I was constantly giving a girl who was a mod shit for her criticisms. I was raised in a pretty apolitical household with right leaning parents and already had some ignorant thoughts about BLM taught to me from my mom (She does hold some leftist beliefs but she is generally conservative) and that worsened my self esteem and when I found a channel callef JLongbone who (like Kalvin Garrah) was from a oppressed group of people (in this case a Black woman) spouting my thoughts right back to me and i felt validated. I then watched other Anti UA-camrs (Shoe0nhead, SomeBlackGuy, Armoured Skeptic, etc.) And i even dipped a bit into Alt Right with The Rebel (who seemed to be centrist when I watched them) and Red Ice but i felt uncomfortable and soon I over a period of time distanced myself. I became a centrist thinking it would solve my stress but it didn't now that i am more leftist I am more happier than i was then
As a trans man I'm glad you did this video.
thank you so much for commenting!!
Yes!! I’ve really enjoyed watching other trans creators talk about Kalvin, but as a cis girl I had a different experience watching him, so it’s nice to know I wasn’t alone in that. I thought Kalvin was right because he was so popular and since he was so popular he had to know what he was talking about, right? After watching other videos and doing my own research I realized that he was so far off
It's weird saying cisperson you're erasing yourself and don't even realize
Kalvin was one of the most damaging people in my life and created so much doubt about my non-binary identity. I appreciate your perspective Felix. Love u girlie!
it's so nice to hear from you tali i miss u too!! congrats on ur engagement
You look like Bryce Dallas Howard :)
OMG that is such an honor she's so gorgeous.. THANK YOU!!
In one of his videos he said being genderflid isn't possible cuz "you brain cant change." Im genderfluid and i saw the video when i wasnt sure about it yet. It really hurt me especially coming from someone who's in the trans community