Omid Djalili - There Will Never Be a Female Pope

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  • Опубліковано 18 вер 2018
  • #OmidDjalili on dealing with stereotypes, why women are better than men, and struggling to get an American work visa.
    Omid Djalili stand up from the Just For Laughs Festival in 2015.
    #OmidDjaliliJFL #OmidDjaliliStandUp
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    Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 614

  • @drkimy
    @drkimy 5 років тому +1133

    I never forget Djalili family. On 24th of December 1969 as I arrived in London I stayed at their home for a few days before I went to Brighton. God bless his mother & hope his dad is healthy.

    • @ameerahtoyfunreview9674
      @ameerahtoyfunreview9674 5 років тому +6

      Wooow long time ago

    • @drkimy
      @drkimy 5 років тому +79

      Yeah, but love stays in ones mind. I knew his family in Iran & they helped me......Ooooh

    • @3ZOZ1KSA1BOY
      @3ZOZ1KSA1BOY 5 років тому +3

      You must be 80 years old now

    • @drkimy
      @drkimy 5 років тому +38

      @@3ZOZ1KSA1BOY be very cautious! I'm 67. So what? I just wrote a memorial from the past. I live somewhere else in Europe much better than England full of poor jobless people with those ancient houses. When I see old commedies like On The Buses, I see nothing has changed since those years, whether in Brighton, Newcastle-upon-Tyne or Weybridge in Surrey where I had an expensive house. I sold all & live now as a German citizen: So du kannst mich mal.....!!

    • @3ZOZ1KSA1BOY
      @3ZOZ1KSA1BOY 5 років тому +23

      drkimy sorry for hurting your felling but your memory is 50 years old and the fact that someone in your age interact with youtube is very rare it’s unseen mostly so i without thinking to much thought you are 80 years old . Sorry again and i hope you live past 80 years old .

  • @SimonKaguru
    @SimonKaguru 5 років тому +389

    ..."My newborn son, James Blunt..." I swear that caught me off guard 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @xdmoath
      @xdmoath 5 років тому

      who is james ?

    • @cutielol0
      @cutielol0 5 років тому +1

      I did not understand that joke

    • @BORAT979
      @BORAT979 5 років тому +7

      That was legendary

  • @southlondon86
    @southlondon86 4 роки тому +101

    “Have you ever incited genocide?”
    “No but the night is young”

  • @Ragazar
    @Ragazar 5 років тому +829

    To be fair we had a guy called Mohammed at work, and when he left he was replaced by another guy called Mohammed.

    • @SuperLusername
      @SuperLusername 5 років тому +15

      What about Ahmed?

    • @samirahsamir6930
      @samirahsamir6930 5 років тому +5

      Ragazar OM Allah 😂😂 Mohamed left another Mohamed replaced

    • @MrAnadad
      @MrAnadad 4 роки тому

      When you see Farsi worse than Americans

    •  4 роки тому

      How bout Hassan?

    • @muamerblazevic1837
      @muamerblazevic1837 4 роки тому +1

      😂

  • @waratthewarfield
    @waratthewarfield 4 роки тому +459

    I remember this guy in "The Mummy"

    • @TheCoolerChannel
      @TheCoolerChannel 4 роки тому +31

      waratthewarfield ok I knew I wasn’t crazy, you sir saved me a google

    • @pippa_peg
      @pippa_peg 4 роки тому +8

      THANK YOU

    • @23pyromaniac
      @23pyromaniac 4 роки тому +26

      "His neck did not break!"

    • @EonStormcrow
      @EonStormcrow 4 роки тому +13

      @@23pyromaniac "What else? I'm a very... lonely man..."

    • @myst93
      @myst93 4 роки тому +3

      "STEP OVA THA THRESHOLD!"

  • @werebilbyj4449
    @werebilbyj4449 3 роки тому +79

    Omid is one of the most underrated actors. Absolutely brilliant. If you don't recognise him, he played the prison warden in the Mummy (Brendan Fraser version). He was also in Black Books when he tricked Manny into being a "photography model". Hehe. This man is a damn talent! I didn't realise he was s comedian to boot!

  • @jackgaulsfitnessvlog4802
    @jackgaulsfitnessvlog4802 5 років тому +30

    I love this guy.
    Love to Iran from England

  • @artikagunathasan4040
    @artikagunathasan4040 5 років тому +565

    I feel like I haven't seen him in years. Killed me with the Egyptian football commentary.

    • @MosnoAlMoseeki
      @MosnoAlMoseeki 5 років тому +1

      Goooon Gooon Wallahi! :D

    • @barbarahallinan1151
      @barbarahallinan1151 5 років тому +1

      arika guasnahabair e............he has not seen his feet in years.

    • @joermundgand
      @joermundgand 5 років тому +2

      Icelandic football commentary is very similar, I guess we Scandinavians are also an excitable people.

    • @irenekruger4577
      @irenekruger4577 5 років тому +1

      Love his comedy

    • @merriamalwani1082
      @merriamalwani1082 5 років тому +1

      Artika Gunathdotdotdot I’m sorry but that joke was stolen from Moe Amer. Check him out

  • @jamesstevo7289
    @jamesstevo7289 10 місяців тому +7

    This guy is absolutely sensational. Totally underrated. Just amazin.

  • @6luealreadydead
    @6luealreadydead 4 роки тому +48

    He does an amazingly good American accent for sum1 who naturally has a british accent👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @Mastersh1t
    @Mastersh1t 5 років тому +154

    By far the best delivery out there. Love his comedy.

  • @saraj6079
    @saraj6079 4 роки тому +28

    I'm saudi arabian and the soccer commentary part was so accurate it's insane 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kjellhl1975
    @kjellhl1975 5 років тому +238

    I watched him along with my breakfast, and I got in such a good mood that now I am in high spirit to meet the rest of today.

    • @mirasolovklose3888
      @mirasolovklose3888 5 років тому +3

      Nooooooooo, you forgot the rule! Don't get high on your product.

    • @gifsec3601
      @gifsec3601 5 років тому +7

      And in return you made my day with your comment.😁👌

    • @iamkman
      @iamkman 5 років тому +4

      That is exactly what a person should do, you wake up , watch something funny and it makes you happy for the day!! its what you think about the world

    • @MyPronounsISwhom
      @MyPronounsISwhom 4 роки тому +2

      I love this.. ten months later im hoping you're still groovin

    • @hediboughanmi722
      @hediboughanmi722 4 роки тому +1

      same routine here

  • @jsquared1013
    @jsquared1013 5 років тому +238

    He was spot on with the soccer commentary, that is exactly what the beIN Sports announcer sounds like 🤣🤣

    • @jedskulls4295
      @jedskulls4295 5 років тому +2

      But the moron on Bein is not Egyptian, he is from Tunis !

    • @ProfessorSlime283
      @ProfessorSlime283 5 років тому

      True haha

    • @KL-bu4sj
      @KL-bu4sj 5 років тому

      jsquared1013 use

    • @ThePunisher014
      @ThePunisher014 5 років тому

      @@jedskulls4295 I think there are more than just Chawali as commentators at beIN sports. but then again he's the most famous-successful one he just makes morons from egypt and the middle east sound boring as fuck. and Tunis is a capital city, not a nation. mr. butthurt egyptian.

  • @1NV4DR
    @1NV4DR 4 роки тому +18

    An underrated comedian. Love his content

  • @jovanrocksable
    @jovanrocksable 3 роки тому +13

    One of the under rated comedians of our generations

  • @LWWM
    @LWWM 5 років тому +33

    "did you even look?" Is something I ask my husband a lot. Lol

    • @BeeSugar1
      @BeeSugar1 3 роки тому

      Right!? BTW, Jambo rafiki 😁

    • @tanyakasim3988
      @tanyakasim3988 3 роки тому

      Sounds like something my mom said to my dad 20+ years ago, when he was looking for his pickup truck keys. 😂🚚🔑

  • @ServingKant42069
    @ServingKant42069 5 років тому +33

    this guy almost made me spit out my water at work

  • @dfreeman13
    @dfreeman13 4 роки тому +183

    The Catholic Church should avoid my mother. She’ll find the holy grail and the arc of the covenant. The whole secret archives would be made public.

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 3 роки тому +3

      Wow, I thought that was just an Asian thing. Turns out moms everywhere are excellent detectives.

    • @tanyakasim3988
      @tanyakasim3988 3 роки тому

      Your mom would be a great detective or archaeogist. ☺️

  • @nawafabughazalah1345
    @nawafabughazalah1345 5 років тому +124

    He pronounced Arabic really well for an Iranian 😘

    • @mortyh.4076
      @mortyh.4076 4 роки тому +3

      Arabic is being taught in Schools in Iran. There are also many Arabs living in Iran.

    • @miraexo3705
      @miraexo3705 4 роки тому +1

      @@mortyh.4076 yeah i'm maroccain live in iran

    • @FINDINGFITNESS101
      @FINDINGFITNESS101 4 роки тому +5

      @@mortyh.4076 He was brought up in U.K , not Iran!

    • @gromhellscream4487
      @gromhellscream4487 4 роки тому +4

      @@mortyh.4076 We are not taught arabic well.It's an elementary education and it's not effective because our education system is shitty in general.

    • @mehrshadvr4
      @mehrshadvr4 3 роки тому +4

      @@mortyh.4076 I never learned Arabic. Barley passed it. Lol
      And he was born in U.K.

  • @drsaliyusufmindar9092
    @drsaliyusufmindar9092 3 роки тому +4

    That soccer and Muhammad - Ahmad part was just so relatable lol 😂😂

  • @DanielSadjadian
    @DanielSadjadian 5 років тому +100

    He's so good! I wish the BBC could renew his TV show again.

  • @innerlight4601
    @innerlight4601 5 років тому +82

    Wow I am Iranian and i am discovering these gems just now...funny guy.احسنت

    • @azizbelkharmoudi2564
      @azizbelkharmoudi2564 5 років тому +2

      Omid Djalili 🤣🤣 IS THE BEST

    • @nikolasmacedonites917
      @nikolasmacedonites917 5 років тому +1

      have you seen the gladiator?

    • @innerlight4601
      @innerlight4601 5 років тому

      @@nikolasmacedonites917 ohh yesss

    • @nikim6986
      @nikim6986 5 років тому +1

      You should watch his older videos on UA-cam. They're hilarious.

    • @maxk888
      @maxk888 4 роки тому

      احسنت isnt that arabic?

  • @ludmillagutomo
    @ludmillagutomo 4 роки тому +33

    "no but the night is young"

  • @deepu1150
    @deepu1150 5 років тому +48

    James blunt! Killed me!

    • @deepu1150
      @deepu1150 5 років тому +3

      @United Muslims it was sarcasm at its finest! He was listing all Muslim names and followed it with James blunt... We clearly know it's improbable and he's just messing with us!

  • @hamiltonbrown1989
    @hamiltonbrown1989 5 років тому +4

    I am dying on the football commentary!!!! Excitable is right! lol

  • @popazz1
    @popazz1 5 років тому +106

    He doesn't appear on UK television so much now, I'd forgotten how funny he can be.

    • @barbarahallinan1151
      @barbarahallinan1151 5 років тому

      john pee dix on..........hes funny looking.........

    • @popazz1
      @popazz1 5 років тому +3

      Barbara Hallinan ...... And I suppose you think you're funny by spelling my name the way you did? Well here's the thing .... you're not, funny. In fact you come across as rather immature.

    • @barbarahallinan1151
      @barbarahallinan1151 5 років тому

      jonn p dix on............omg..another brexit whinger.

    • @popazz1
      @popazz1 5 років тому +5

      Oh DO fuck off, woman. I never mentioned Brexit, you did. Maybe your meds have worn off and you need a top-up, you dozy mare.

    • @TheEmadia
      @TheEmadia 5 років тому

      +JohnPaul Dixon steady on. She made some silly joke and there you go...

  • @morugascorpion6021
    @morugascorpion6021 5 років тому +6

    I’m glad omid is back. I missed him.

  • @hemispace641
    @hemispace641 3 роки тому +7

    The comedian Omid Djalili is always funny.

  • @sibusisomagagula324
    @sibusisomagagula324 3 роки тому +2

    That Messi Bit is legendary 🤣

  • @sparkling.redrose
    @sparkling.redrose 2 роки тому +2

    I'm Egyptian and that is so true

  • @clarasoare
    @clarasoare 5 років тому +3

    Thank you, you delivered well the sketch, you are amazing:))

  • @harlemthamry8839
    @harlemthamry8839 3 роки тому +3

    True story:
    Once I bought a second hand fitness band with a phone directory from an Egyptian gentleman. That fellow forgot to reset his watch. When I checked out phone directory, first names that turned up where roughly 35x Ahmed (with helpful definitions such like son of Mohammed, the Taxi driver) and some +60x Mohammed. Honestly, I can‘t quite remember but if I am not mistaken, the seller‘s name was indeed Mohammed.

  • @ahmarsaeed6085
    @ahmarsaeed6085 4 роки тому +4

    The way he read the genocide question had me bloody rolling!

  • @kamalebrahimi8623
    @kamalebrahimi8623 5 років тому +11

    Although I'm an Iranian but this is the first time I'm seeing his videos, thank UA-cam for you recommendation 😅

  • @thepilgrim1581
    @thepilgrim1581 3 роки тому +2

    When the video stops and your still laughing 🤣 Lol..... Ha ha..

  • @karimmansour7813
    @karimmansour7813 5 років тому +9

    I am Egyptian and this guy knows exactly what he talking about :D

  • @sihamharchli
    @sihamharchli 5 років тому +6

    Ahhaha great sense of humour
    I'll have to watch more of his

  • @besiatumtum3944
    @besiatumtum3944 5 років тому +11

    This is awesome!

  • @brandonallen3289
    @brandonallen3289 3 роки тому +2

    When he was talking about the questions for the passport application. I believe him.

  • @francinegray9383
    @francinegray9383 4 роки тому +5

    This was fabulous, watching in 2019. Persian comedians are amazing.

  • @FBab-jb4lp
    @FBab-jb4lp 5 років тому +5

    i miss Oimd
    please return to dubai , we love you ❤❤❤❤

  • @dejib.3930
    @dejib.3930 3 роки тому +1

    Just massive! Omid is greatness.

  • @user-si3et2ig9x
    @user-si3et2ig9x 4 роки тому +3

    The messi commentary part was so true 😂😂

  • @bayupran
    @bayupran 5 років тому +3

    Never heard of this guy, but boy now I'm in love

  • @suzannerachel6152
    @suzannerachel6152 Рік тому +5

    Never get high on your own supply 😂. Guys brilliant and such a support to great cause ❤

  • @nreaction
    @nreaction 5 років тому +4

    my goodness 1am and i laugh very hard while my family are sleeping. keep it up omid.

  • @turquoisesnowflake4613
    @turquoisesnowflake4613 4 роки тому +21

    "What do they know, theyre not men"
    Dead

  • @MyPronounsISwhom
    @MyPronounsISwhom 4 роки тому +6

    "There it is! ... it's been there the whole time!"

  • @valiummarbles317
    @valiummarbles317 5 років тому

    The commentary was sooo spot on!

  • @chescalynn4411
    @chescalynn4411 5 років тому +38

    😂 That was hysterical

  • @dorisleyba5916
    @dorisleyba5916 5 років тому +9

    WHOOPI introduced him to us here in the states and I cant get enough of him, so funny

  • @vnegar4045
    @vnegar4045 2 роки тому +1

    Came to put this on in the background and watched all 5 minutes. Class comedy.

  • @MohammadUmairAnsari
    @MohammadUmairAnsari 4 роки тому +5

    His Egyptian commentary is spot on.

  • @JesuschristDisciplesLondon
    @JesuschristDisciplesLondon 4 роки тому

    Pure Art God bless you bro

  • @ethanflorianswarthout8325
    @ethanflorianswarthout8325 5 років тому +2

    He's not shitting 😂😂😂😂😂, I had to go through this shit 😂😂😂😂. The questions are literally that blunt, and stupid 😂😂😂😂

  • @rexochroy2
    @rexochroy2 2 місяці тому

    The ending is brilliant 😂😂😂😂

  • @Rhys-jd1kt
    @Rhys-jd1kt 3 роки тому +4

    NOW I recognise him. He's that guy from the mummy😂😂😂

    • @stevecarr7338
      @stevecarr7338 8 місяців тому +1

      and notting hill and pirates of the caribean. He out performed Johnny Depp off the charts

  • @magentatodd5226
    @magentatodd5226 2 роки тому +2

    Smart, charming, funny, I like this guy...

  • @sy2see
    @sy2see 4 роки тому

    I love Omid. He’s fantastic.

  • @supersharpshots
    @supersharpshots 5 років тому +7

    Love you boss.

  • @nicehuman
    @nicehuman 5 років тому +6

    LOL! I like to dedicate that goal to my wife "Mohammad Ahmad." That cracked me up big time.

  • @TEXAS2459
    @TEXAS2459 5 років тому +2

    omfg this was awesome......epic hillarious

  • @DiamondQuality1
    @DiamondQuality1 3 роки тому

    hahahaha omg the visa questions just about killed me..........

  • @lem0nwings
    @lem0nwings 5 років тому +83

    They actually ask you the genocide question when applying UK family visas.

    • @SdoubleA
      @SdoubleA 5 років тому +17

      Seriously though, why would anyone answer that question with a "yes"?

    • @flankspeed
      @flankspeed 5 років тому +35

      "Well, at least you're honest." **APPROVED**

    • @lem0nwings
      @lem0nwings 5 років тому +3

      AnilAslan In addition to genocide, they also ask you if you’ve ever committed any act of terrorism.

    • @joermundgand
      @joermundgand 5 років тому +5

      Do they really expect a genocidal dictator to speak the truth?

    • @Rajj854
      @Rajj854 5 років тому +2

      has anyone ever said yes?

  • @audibenam719
    @audibenam719 3 роки тому

    You have really great shows ... I hope you are healthy mr jalili

  • @omidmedia5219
    @omidmedia5219 3 роки тому +2

    Very good 👍👏👏👏

  • @imack1051
    @imack1051 4 роки тому

    This was super funny

  • @tahirdabok6235
    @tahirdabok6235 5 років тому +1

    OMG I love this dude.

  • @johnnyviking7859
    @johnnyviking7859 4 роки тому +3

    Yusuf amiiiiir , WE gettin' araab moneyyy

  • @georgeisaak5321
    @georgeisaak5321 4 роки тому

    Nice video !!!!

  • @terencejay8845
    @terencejay8845 4 роки тому +3

    When I applied for my USA visa in 1972, one question was 'Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?' At 17, I put 'No'. However, the visa was issued for 'Indefinitely for Multiple Applications' so by now I could be Putin's deputy, and still get in.

  • @alirezaalavi1504
    @alirezaalavi1504 5 років тому

    I LOVE YOU OMIIIIIID

  • @tti3360
    @tti3360 5 років тому

    Thank you 😂👏

  • @TayMcKenzieNZ
    @TayMcKenzieNZ Місяць тому

    Loved this guy in gta 4, gta online, and now finding out he's a comedian. I have a lot of catching up to do. He's hilarious xD

  • @t600gsxr
    @t600gsxr 5 років тому +25

    I meet him once a lovely guy

  • @rustyshacklefordposter
    @rustyshacklefordposter 5 місяців тому

    He really brings out the Yusuf with the Egyptian soccer commentary

  • @Sarah-sv3yu
    @Sarah-sv3yu 4 роки тому +14

    as an egyptian this is hilarious and true

    • @thephoenix756
      @thephoenix756 3 роки тому

      As a Sudanese I found it weird that Messi's hypothetical boyfriend had to be Sudanese. 🤔

  • @Amir76fresno
    @Amir76fresno 6 місяців тому

    OMID is simply D BEST indeed 🙌🏼❤️👑👑❤️

  • @pauranabdipour8228
    @pauranabdipour8228 4 роки тому +1

    Very proud of you for identifying yourself with Iran even you born in England...you are doing a great job as far as comedy.

  • @Prensinannisi
    @Prensinannisi 5 років тому

    very good :)

  • @511dydy
    @511dydy 3 роки тому

    Haha he cracks me up

  • @jlopat
    @jlopat 2 роки тому

    just watched your video on ;Abdu'l-Baha, thanks so much it was great.

  • @kevinwaag9976
    @kevinwaag9976 5 років тому +2

    I didn't expect the James Blunt xD funny guy love the pope thing!

  • @saeid6780
    @saeid6780 22 дні тому

    You're incredible maaan

  • @nafsearthling3214
    @nafsearthling3214 5 років тому

    Omid you are the best man

  • @staycurious_7
    @staycurious_7 5 років тому

    That commentary was spot on....

  • @EvGenius1990
    @EvGenius1990 5 років тому +14

    he is GREEEEEEAT!

  • @afterburner3999
    @afterburner3999 3 роки тому

    is this wat i come into this world to learn and listen too.

  • @OkkyHan
    @OkkyHan 5 років тому

    LOL I love him

  • @TheEmre1979
    @TheEmre1979 4 роки тому +2

    what a talent this man ... you can never learn ...

  • @Fettman89
    @Fettman89 10 місяців тому +1

    Holy shit, I grew up with this guy in The Mummy, how am I only finding out now he's a comedian?

    • @LadyDecember
      @LadyDecember 26 днів тому +1

      I was the other way around 😆I used to watch him on Just For Laughs reruns and when I saw The Mummy in full a couple years later, I was all "how am I only finding out now he was in The Mummy?!"

    • @Fettman89
      @Fettman89 26 днів тому

      @@LadyDecember Haha total opposite, that's wild

  • @jody024
    @jody024 3 роки тому +1

    He had the Assassins creed logo beard.

  • @captaincairoPT
    @captaincairoPT 5 років тому

    Very accurate

  • @JerzyFeliksKlein
    @JerzyFeliksKlein 5 років тому +11

    He is just solid. Never seen a poor performance from him

  • @rosaliegreenblogs
    @rosaliegreenblogs 4 роки тому

    I like this show.

  • @treeoftrees7523
    @treeoftrees7523 2 роки тому +1

    I see Omaid I click Like 🧡

  • @rahul90481
    @rahul90481 4 роки тому +1

    1:36 nice and well written joke .

  • @flipjin
    @flipjin 4 роки тому +1

    I will never buy giraffes from him again!!!

  • @KittySnicker
    @KittySnicker 5 років тому +1

    Funny dude!