2:51 there is a third option. Trust everyone take everything at face value. And then over analyze everything until you have a panic attack and then think that no one actually likes it.
I assume that everyone’s intentions are the same as mine, which has worked pretty well because I don’t mean to do good or bad just whatever causes good brain chemicals
I start replaying every single detail or movement they did and start crossing out possibilities until I go "EURIKA!!! IVE GOT IT!" and I start overthinking about what people think of me and what I may have done wrong etc etc
it's so hard to make eye contact, it feels so awkward and unnatural, but then when I don't look at someone when they're speaking the think I'm not listening :/
Once while in high school I decided to wear a all black outfit, that had all different textures of clothing in order to break things up, alongside silver and black necklaces. It was velvet tights (yes I know, I am a rare breed of autistic that feels impassive towards velvet-y textures), a long sleeved sweater that went off the shoulders, a black spaghetti strapped tank top, knee high black boots with a bit of heel, and a black belt around the waist (yes, over the sweater but still settled on my hips). I thought I was hot shit, and that the outfit was great and cool! However, while walking between classes I heard one of my friends and another dude talk behind me, Random dude: "Why is she wearing so much black? It's too much." Friend: "Well, at least she broke it up with different textures and stuff." Random dude: "That doesn't make it cool, it's boring as fuck to look at." Friend: "Yeah..." No matter how much you try to fit in with your peers, there's always going to be someone who criticizes you and what you're doing. Even if I liked my outfit, the others thought it was lame and boring because it was all black and didn't have things like ripped clothes or black makeup or studded platform shoes to accompany it. But none of that mattered to me, because I still valued feeling comfortable while also looking at least somewhat fashionable (at least, as fashionable as a teen in the early 2010s would dress haha). My autism literally got in the way of seemingly dressing "cool" to other people's standards just because I was valuing my own comfort. I was reminded of this memory during the TikTok at 3:47. Even though I personally was diagnosed with autism at 7, I can say for sure that you can't just put yourself first by constantly trying to view it as "making it comfortable because I'm autistic". Instead, you should try thinking of it as "Putting myself first and knowing what makes me most comfortable because I know what's best for me, and for my autism". That impassive and decisive feeling will pass over time, you just need to build up your own voice to speak up for yourself, and to learn how to take care of yourself and your self esteem first. I used to really struggle with this problem (hell, I still do), but it's important to remember that you don't need to put yourself first just because of your autism. You deserve to put yourself first because you're human, and only you know what's best for you. Who cares if it doesn't seem right or doesn't appeal to everyone? You're not them, and you'll never be them. Just work on yourself, and you'll be fine 💖
I was on vacation for two weeks and I went on a whale watch, got shark teeth, won a 5 foot long shark plushie, got some shark and whale and Pokémon plushies, got a shark dot painted rock (sensory happiness), and my mom got me a shark bed sheet set (AAAAAAAAAHHHH I LOVE IT) also saw the Barbie movie (wore my headphones obv cause movie = fun but sensory hell)
I have such a problem telling when people are messing with me at work, or if I'm being too sensitive if I do think someone's being rude to me, like how do people know what the appropriate reaction is? Everyone just gets it?
8:31 I do this too, so often, my brain is just 24/7 on full internal monologue, and then i'm planning out conversations that aren't going to happen, like what i'll say if my friends randomly insult me, or etc, etc. it's tiring
that sounds really hard, but i wanted to let u know that people can not 'go nonverbal' as being nonverbal is a permanent or extremely long-lasting state (as in months/years) The word you might be looking for is speech loss!!
@@styx6039 yes good point another term is verbal shutdown, although non speaking describes the long term non speaking, non verbal literally means without words, which technically is inaccurate because of things like sign language or aac, but non verbal can also be accurate in the specific context of not being able to process or interpret words, nor use them, facilitated or otherwise, like aac, sign language, speaking, all not an option because your brain just cannot formulate or process words (this is stuff I have learned through non speaking people, but I still may have inaccuracies due to language and understanding constantly changing)
3:08 I do have that problem as well, I mostly go about it like this: I am sceptical at first. So I don't necessarily trust them but I don't think they have immediate bad intentions. So I am friendly and respectful until I can find out better what their intentions are. Like, if they only text me when they want something from me, and never because they just want to talk to me, I know that they don't have have good intentions. On the opposite side, if they say that they enjoy talking with me about random stuff, or just listening to me ramble about sharks, then it tells me that they want to be an Actual friend. For me it also often works to check in with them, by asking stuff like: "can I tell you about my special interest" or "if I talk too much you can tell me"
I. Am. *Petrified* of bringing one of only two utensil sets to eat out because Im scared theyre going to think that Im trying to steal their utensils and try and take them from me or Ill somehow lose them and only have one set. I have had the same fork and spoon for a decade(one of the prongs on one got bent a while back 😭😭😭) so big mood. I also dont eat out cause I know what kitchens usually look like and I dont trust them.
Today I was supposed to go to my school orientation, but I took the wrong train. I waited in an extremely hot and loud train station for 20 minutes trying not to have a meltdown, before deciding to just go home. It took me another hour in scorching weather and loud trains to get home. I’m very upset because I really wanted to go, and to see my new friend, but I can’t. And in a day it’ll be my first day in a brand new school and I won’t even know the basic things I’m supposed to. Basically I’m overwhelmed and upset and I just needed to rant.
that sucks :( i’m sure the whole situation is really stressful! maybe you could look at a online map of the school to help you get to know your surroundings?
The more I learn about autism and the many different ways it shows like with stimming and how you think the more convinced I am I might be autistic. Or just neurodivergent. My friend is autistic and they said that you only have autism if it is disabling or prevents you from doing things neurotypical people can do. I have severe anxiety and have a variety of things I do to self soothe, such as stimming or wearing my headphones when in public or around people even if i'm not playing anything on them [they're non noise cancelling]. My brother has noise cancelling headphones that he doesn't wear very often or he only wears when he leaves the house. I have considered using them but I dont like how soft and oddly shaped they are. On top of all of this my therapist has asked me if i've considered the fact that I might be autistic. And despite all the evidence I am hesitant to self diagnose because I feel like I am invalidating people with official diagnoses. Anyway I love you're videos on trans and autistic people as I relate to them a lot and they make me feel less alone.
Everyone who was late diagnosed knows how hard it is, so you definitely would not be taking any validity away from us. There is no shame in self-diagnosing.
6:26 me when my science teacher told me that dolphins are not whales and that orcas are not dolphins (they are and I have been researching this for years. A simple google search can back up the fact that whales and dolphins are one and the same. He has a degree.)
hello folks heres your reminder to please stop saying 'going nonverbal' 'becoming nonverbal' or other variations. being nonverbal is a perment state. nonverbal autistics have been speaking about this for years and very few people listen to us. other words you can say is "speech loss/ speech loss episode" and there is plenty more. respect nonverbal autistics. respect msn and hsn autistics.
@@elisebikker hsn means high support needs and msn means medium support needs. also i did not mention it but there is also low support needs or lsn. also i feel the urge to clarify beacuse a lot of people assume they are the same but: Support Needs and 'high' 'low' functioning lables are extremely different. support need labels were made BY autistics (specifcally hsn/msn comunites) FOR autistics. and they were made by comparing autistic people to other autistic people. functioning labels were made by allistics by comparing autistic people to allsitics. the support need model assumes that EVERYONE needs support including lsn people but it also adknoldges that amount of support varies and some people need more. apoligies for any spelling errors !!
@@TheProxy066 i responded this to the other person asking this question but in case you do not see it: hsn means high support needs and msn means medium support needs. also i did not mention it but there is also low support needs or lsn. also i feel the urge to clarify beacuse a lot of people assume they are the same but: Support Needs and 'high' 'low' functioning lables are extremely different. support need labels were made BY autistics (specifcally hsn/msn comunites) FOR autistics. and they were made by comparing autistic people to other autistic people. functioning labels were made by allistics by comparing autistic people to allsitics. the support need model assumes that EVERYONE needs support including lsn people but it also adknoldges that amount of support varies and some people need more. apoligies for any spelling errors !!
Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗
Framing these with huge blocks of black on the sides makes them too small to read. In the future, could you please orient them so the vertical video aligns in vertical layout to fit the full phone screen? Accessibility is important. :)
Two kids in my friends class last year “They dress so weird.” “I heard they are autistic sooo” they were talking about me.
they're jealous dw about it 😈😈
ok but. counterpoint. usually clothes considered weird are the most creative. hope ur doin well
2:51 there is a third option. Trust everyone take everything at face value. And then over analyze everything until you have a panic attack and then think that no one actually likes it.
I assume that everyone’s intentions are the same as mine, which has worked pretty well because I don’t mean to do good or bad just whatever causes good brain chemicals
I start replaying every single detail or movement they did and start crossing out possibilities until I go "EURIKA!!! IVE GOT IT!" and I start overthinking about what people think of me and what I may have done wrong etc etc
it's so hard to make eye contact, it feels so awkward and unnatural, but then when I don't look at someone when they're speaking the think I'm not listening :/
8:11 damn this one is SO RELATABLE like LET ME IMAGINE STUFF FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND.
AHHH MY SPECIAL INTEREST ❤
SAME OMG
Currently snuggling with my sister's kitten while watching this. She's very eepy
awwwww shes very eepy I'm late but I hope shes still eepy
Once while in high school I decided to wear a all black outfit, that had all different textures of clothing in order to break things up, alongside silver and black necklaces. It was velvet tights (yes I know, I am a rare breed of autistic that feels impassive towards velvet-y textures), a long sleeved sweater that went off the shoulders, a black spaghetti strapped tank top, knee high black boots with a bit of heel, and a black belt around the waist (yes, over the sweater but still settled on my hips). I thought I was hot shit, and that the outfit was great and cool! However, while walking between classes I heard one of my friends and another dude talk behind me,
Random dude: "Why is she wearing so much black? It's too much."
Friend: "Well, at least she broke it up with different textures and stuff."
Random dude: "That doesn't make it cool, it's boring as fuck to look at."
Friend: "Yeah..."
No matter how much you try to fit in with your peers, there's always going to be someone who criticizes you and what you're doing. Even if I liked my outfit, the others thought it was lame and boring because it was all black and didn't have things like ripped clothes or black makeup or studded platform shoes to accompany it. But none of that mattered to me, because I still valued feeling comfortable while also looking at least somewhat fashionable (at least, as fashionable as a teen in the early 2010s would dress haha). My autism literally got in the way of seemingly dressing "cool" to other people's standards just because I was valuing my own comfort.
I was reminded of this memory during the TikTok at 3:47. Even though I personally was diagnosed with autism at 7, I can say for sure that you can't just put yourself first by constantly trying to view it as "making it comfortable because I'm autistic". Instead, you should try thinking of it as "Putting myself first and knowing what makes me most comfortable because I know what's best for me, and for my autism". That impassive and decisive feeling will pass over time, you just need to build up your own voice to speak up for yourself, and to learn how to take care of yourself and your self esteem first. I used to really struggle with this problem (hell, I still do), but it's important to remember that you don't need to put yourself first just because of your autism. You deserve to put yourself first because you're human, and only you know what's best for you. Who cares if it doesn't seem right or doesn't appeal to everyone? You're not them, and you'll never be them. Just work on yourself, and you'll be fine 💖
I was on vacation for two weeks and I went on a whale watch, got shark teeth, won a 5 foot long shark plushie, got some shark and whale and Pokémon plushies, got a shark dot painted rock (sensory happiness), and my mom got me a shark bed sheet set (AAAAAAAAAHHHH I LOVE IT) also saw the Barbie movie (wore my headphones obv cause movie = fun but sensory hell)
I have such a problem telling when people are messing with me at work, or if I'm being too sensitive if I do think someone's being rude to me, like how do people know what the appropriate reaction is? Everyone just gets it?
8:31 I do this too, so often, my brain is just 24/7 on full internal monologue, and then i'm planning out conversations that aren't going to happen, like what i'll say if my friends randomly insult me, or etc, etc. it's tiring
whoopsies i should probably get a diagnosis these tiktoks are really relatable haha
it's a hard trek, but i'm sure you'll get there! best of luck :]
today was my first day of school and it went ok (: i only went non verbal at my last period and was forced to speak multiple times):
ugh i’m sorry you had to speak multiple times, that must’ve been really hard :(((
i hope the rest of the week is better for you!
that sounds really hard, but i wanted to let u know that people can not 'go nonverbal' as being nonverbal is a permanent or extremely long-lasting state (as in months/years) The word you might be looking for is speech loss!!
@@styx6039 yes good point another term is verbal shutdown, although non speaking describes the long term non speaking, non verbal literally means without words, which technically is inaccurate because of things like sign language or aac, but non verbal can also be accurate in the specific context of not being able to process or interpret words, nor use them, facilitated or otherwise, like aac, sign language, speaking, all not an option because your brain just cannot formulate or process words (this is stuff I have learned through non speaking people, but I still may have inaccuracies due to language and understanding constantly changing)
3:08 I do have that problem as well, I mostly go about it like this: I am sceptical at first. So I don't necessarily trust them but I don't think they have immediate bad intentions. So I am friendly and respectful until I can find out better what their intentions are.
Like, if they only text me when they want something from me, and never because they just want to talk to me, I know that they don't have have good intentions.
On the opposite side, if they say that they enjoy talking with me about random stuff, or just listening to me ramble about sharks, then it tells me that they want to be an Actual friend.
For me it also often works to check in with them, by asking stuff like: "can I tell you about my special interest" or "if I talk too much you can tell me"
I. Am. *Petrified* of bringing one of only two utensil sets to eat out because Im scared theyre going to think that Im trying to steal their utensils and try and take them from me or Ill somehow lose them and only have one set.
I have had the same fork and spoon for a decade(one of the prongs on one got bent a while back 😭😭😭) so big mood. I also dont eat out cause I know what kitchens usually look like and I dont trust them.
Today I was supposed to go to my school orientation, but I took the wrong train. I waited in an extremely hot and loud train station for 20 minutes trying not to have a meltdown, before deciding to just go home. It took me another hour in scorching weather and loud trains to get home. I’m very upset because I really wanted to go, and to see my new friend, but I can’t. And in a day it’ll be my first day in a brand new school and I won’t even know the basic things I’m supposed to. Basically I’m overwhelmed and upset and I just needed to rant.
I hope You’re Doing better now.. ❤ Have you tried any accommodations like noise cancelling headphones or stim toys? Hope you’re having a better day! ❤
that sucks :( i’m sure the whole situation is really stressful! maybe you could look at a online map of the school to help you get to know your surroundings?
@@Dr_Esjamin I have headphones but trains are way to loud
NO CAUSE I SO ALL THE STIMS IN THE FIRST ONE I-
SAME
Yes, I related to most of those stims!
Woooooo Soundoftheforest!
Accurate on the eye contact thing. 😂❤
The more I learn about autism and the many different ways it shows like with stimming and how you think the more convinced I am I might be autistic. Or just neurodivergent. My friend is autistic and they said that you only have autism if it is disabling or prevents you from doing things neurotypical people can do. I have severe anxiety and have a variety of things I do to self soothe, such as stimming or wearing my headphones when in public or around people even if i'm not playing anything on them [they're non noise cancelling]. My brother has noise cancelling headphones that he doesn't wear very often or he only wears when he leaves the house. I have considered using them but I dont like how soft and oddly shaped they are. On top of all of this my therapist has asked me if i've considered the fact that I might be autistic. And despite all the evidence I am hesitant to self diagnose because I feel like I am invalidating people with official diagnoses. Anyway I love you're videos on trans and autistic people as I relate to them a lot and they make me feel less alone.
Everyone who was late diagnosed knows how hard it is, so you definitely would not be taking any validity away from us. There is no shame in self-diagnosing.
9:45 AHH HE LOOKS LIKE LARRY FROM SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENFS HAHAHAAHHDHDHSXHXHXHHSHHXHXXH DHEHEHE DHDHSGSGX
That last one omw 😅
6:26 me when my science teacher told me that dolphins are not whales and that orcas are not dolphins (they are and I have been researching this for years. A simple google search can back up the fact that whales and dolphins are one and the same. He has a degree.)
Marine animals are literally my special interest and have been since I was really little
My brain thought of the tv show “Extraordinary Attorney Woo” while reading this. I’ve also seen the tv show “Atypical”. Ect
3:59 my life 😢😂
(sweating) why do i relate so much... guys... why do i relate...
8:13 i'm definitely doing that right now 😅🤣
hello folks heres your reminder to please stop saying 'going nonverbal' 'becoming nonverbal' or other variations. being nonverbal is a perment state. nonverbal autistics have been speaking about this for years and very few people listen to us. other words you can say is "speech loss/ speech loss episode" and there is plenty more. respect nonverbal autistics. respect msn and hsn autistics.
What does "msn" and "hsn" mean?
I’m also curious what those abbreviations mean. Can you elaborate on that?
@@elisebikker hsn means high support needs and msn means medium support needs. also i did not mention it but there is also low support needs or lsn.
also i feel the urge to clarify beacuse a lot of people assume they are the same but: Support Needs and 'high' 'low' functioning lables are extremely different. support need labels were made BY autistics (specifcally hsn/msn comunites) FOR autistics. and they were made by comparing autistic people to other autistic people. functioning labels were made by allistics by comparing autistic people to allsitics. the support need model assumes that EVERYONE needs support including lsn people but it also adknoldges that amount of support varies and some people need more.
apoligies for any spelling errors !!
@@TheProxy066 i responded this to the other person asking this question but in case you do not see it:
hsn means high support needs and msn means medium support needs. also i did not mention it but there is also low support needs or lsn.
also i feel the urge to clarify beacuse a lot of people assume they are the same but: Support Needs and 'high' 'low' functioning lables are extremely different. support need labels were made BY autistics (specifcally hsn/msn comunites) FOR autistics. and they were made by comparing autistic people to other autistic people. functioning labels were made by allistics by comparing autistic people to allsitics. the support need model assumes that EVERYONE needs support including lsn people but it also adknoldges that amount of support varies and some people need more.
apoligies for any spelling errors !!
@@styx6039 Thank you for the clarification! I might use these terms in the future. I never liked the terms high and low functioning.
i got diagnosed with autism today :DDDD
Congratulations! 🎉
I'm getting referred atm so it'll be years for me 😢
9:00 Tism rizz lol. I love that for you. Ect
2:30 I just assume everyone has bad intentions and that’s worked pretty well for me.
Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗
Hey! Found you! I just wanted to say, thank you so much for these comments. They always brighten my day. 🤗🤗💜💜
@@hellolithy and so do you, I hope your week has been good 💜💜🤗🤗
your comments always make me so happy!! i’m proud of you and i love you too
@samsterhamster948 💜💜🤗🤗 thank you
im not autistic but these be looking way too relatable rn....maybe i am ahaha
Framing these with huge blocks of black on the sides makes them too small to read. In the future, could you please orient them so the vertical video aligns in vertical layout to fit the full phone screen?
Accessibility is important. :)