Starting a Family as a Freelance Illustrator: My Honest Experience Being an Artist and Mom

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  • Опубліковано 9 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 35

  • @adrienneanderson7368
    @adrienneanderson7368 6 років тому +2

    Thank you so much for this!! So many mothers I know love every second of being a mom, and want to do it 24/7. I always felt alone. I felt like something was wrong with me because I always wanted more time to paint and create. It is comforting knowing there are other artists out there who are mothers as well and have these feelings. 😊😊

  • @AmentetAuris
    @AmentetAuris 6 років тому +2

    It is so reassuring to hear someone having so similar thoughts about work-parenting-balance. I always want to go back to drawing and at times I feel guilty that my attention is split. Funny enough, my daughter was also born Jan. 2017 I could predict her naps since a year, but they just started now to be long and solid, so I have the tranquility I need to work. Everything you said, I could relate to so much. Even the hopes, she would be toddling around me in my home office while I work :D lol! The mess was epic. I was always wondering if other people are having access to some special magic to get their things done, their productivity looks effortless, but my oh my everyone struggles. Thank you so much for being so honest.

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому +1

      Thank you so much for sharing, Jelena! We're kindred spirits, it seems! It's definitely a struggle, but everything worthwhile is, and I'm finding it's easier to be gentle with myself and take things one day at a time the farther along we get. Hang in there!!🙏🏻💕

  • @francisimanuel7121
    @francisimanuel7121 5 років тому +2

    I had a similar experience. I still wanted to pursue the things I love doing. I love my son, Happy mom Happy home🤓

  • @mynameisreb
    @mynameisreb 4 роки тому

    I have a 9 week old and have been struggling with maintaining a routine, so hearing you had challenges too is so helpful. I also secretly feel I’m more of a kid person than a baby person. I’m more excited to teach him things and talk with him than constantly trying to get him to sleep!

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  3 роки тому

      You got this, Rebecca! Those first few months are the hardest. Try to be kind to yourself and know that the routine will come. Then it will change again (and again, and again) and each time you'll get better at adapting.
      And I can confirm from the other side of the newborn crazinesss that reading to your 3 year old and dancing with your 1 year old is more fun than trying to get a newborn to sleep. Hang in there!!💕💕💕

  • @artsymissashley
    @artsymissashley 3 роки тому

    Wow thank you for sharing. I am a new mom to an almost 5 month old baby. I can relate to just about everything you said. I teach art classes and always want to be working and painting because I love my job so much! It was really hard to find the balance and it still is. I was diagnosed with PPD at my 6wk check up. Right now I take it one day at a time, little steps moving in the right direction. I thought I'd be able to do it without child care too, but I learned that is not realistic. I feel much better now like a person again. Thankfully I have gotten some help. I do have a separate studio from my home but at times it is easier to just work at home and I sometimes wish I had a designated area for it at home. There are pros and cons to both for sure. It is so nice to hear your story (even from 2 yrs ago)since many people don't understand creative work + being a mom. Much love ❤️

  • @bethsnider5796
    @bethsnider5796 6 років тому +1

    My life as a mom is kind of opposite from yours in that I became a mother relatively young at the age of 22, before I began my career as an artist. I had always been creative, however, and that meant I spent so many nights staying up until 3 or 4 am after the kids went to bed doing art. I had 3 little ones under 5 (one a newborn named Penelope) when my husband left us. There were many challenges, but I figured out a way to earn money by getting hired to do murals and commissioned paintings, which meant staying up all hours of the night and getting childcare from my mom. Now, my kids are all in school, I am remarried to an elementary school teacher and I am illustrating full-time. And I don't have to stay up all night! (Nor could I physically do that anymore, haha!) But it affects my confidence a bit, because my professional career as an illustrator has been hard won after going through the years of rearing 3 kids by myself. Now they are all in school (the youngest, Penelope, is in 5th grade) and I am just NOW able to have the freedom and confidence in my abilities to fully grasp what I am doing as a valid career. I have spent so many years worried and trying to prove myself. Now, I know I can do this. I wonder how different it all would have been to have established my art career before having children. I guess I will never know. But either way, if you are a true creative, you will find a way to make art even while caring for children. Your passion will find a way!

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому

      Wow, Beth -- thank you so much for sharing all that.💕 As you said, there are so many different creative paths, which is so helpful and healthy for all of us to remember! I am definitely thankful to have had my feet under me vocationally before becoming a mom, but there are trade offs. I have been meaning to make a video about this as well, but I actually didn't really get serious about art until I was 27-28, as I had some major health issues in my early 20s and really didn't draw at all from 22-27. I actually feel like a late bloomer myself -- late in career and late in having a baby. Because of that, I always tell people it's never too late to start with art! Thank you again for sharing your experience. I'm so happy you're in a better place now, and able to really dig in and pursue your creative vocation!

  • @Angela10277088
    @Angela10277088 6 років тому +1

    This is brilliant. I have four kiddos, one of whom lives with autism. We spend a lot of time helping him (getting him into a great school just recently), helping our other children handle the situation and how autism affects everyone-especially before he had to go to a different school. Even without learning and social issues, kiddos require a lot of time investment. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be making all of the time. I completely relate to loving your kiddos and still keeping true to yourself and what you want for your life. I am still learning and my oldest is 17. Each phase of childhood brings different freedoms and limits. I love hearing about your strategies. Thank you for being so honest!

  • @kkhrysty
    @kkhrysty 6 років тому

    Thanks for sharing your experiences and being so open about the challenges you faced! I can really relate to the feeling of not wanting to quit your passion in order to be a “better “ parent. I’m a full time artist and it’s always been my biggest dream just like the dream of becoming a parent. After all, I told myself that my child needs a happy mom, a mom with passion, a mom with ambitions, so we found a daycare for my son and he loves it, he gets to socialize with other kids and learn something. And at the end of the day we both have something to tell each other about our day and that doesn’t make me feel any less of a parent because all my free time goes to my family 100% and we feel excited to do things together. Sorry for a long comment, it just feels great to find people with similar ideas and experiences 🙂

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому +1

      Sorry I've taken so long to reply to this -- thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! It's so nice to know you could relate, and that someone else has made some similar family decisions and feels good about it. For me I do still struggle with guilt, but it's getting better and I think the bit you said about your child needing a happy and fulfilled parent is SO true, so I'm trying to keep that in mind and focus on that instead of this vague sense of "I could be doing more." Thank you again for the encouragement and connection!💕

    • @kkhrysty
      @kkhrysty 6 років тому

      Kendyll Hillegas You're an amazing and inspiring person both as an artist and as a parent! It's only human to feel all of these emotions and sharing them is even harder for most of us, but I think we have to change the pattern on social media of sharing only the brightest sides of our lives and careers, we need to be more open, understanding, and supportive. If social media has such an influence on our lives, it's better be a good one. And you are a great example of this change! Thank you for keeping your channel so naturally human!

  • @leahollsson129
    @leahollsson129 6 років тому

    I am so so glad you have made this video! I’m also an artist and work on commissioned portraits as well as making prints and home decor... I always want do be doing my job as well! I used to feel so out of place when I hear or heard mums say you don’t want to think about being or doing anything else but be the most perfect mum, like nothing else matters... this isn’t true for me either! I have an 9 month gorgeous little boy called Gabriel and as much as I love my son I also love my job. It’s also my life. Your so inspiring, I’m struggling as we can’t afford child care as of yet, I have my
    Mum who helps me one day a week and has Gabe while I’m working which is a massive help. It is a massive learning curve! I think to myself now what happened to all the free time I wasted before I had a child! I moaned so much in Uni that I didn’t have any free time.. boy was I wrong! Keep up the awesome work, and thank you for this wonderful video fellow artist Mumma! (I’m also thinking about making a UA-cam channel!)

  • @rachaelhowatson6246
    @rachaelhowatson6246 6 років тому

    Thank-you so much for sharing your experiences of motherhood and being an artist! I can relate to your experiences as a mom and juggling being a creative. I have a 7mo old and had similar experiences with nursing, dairy-allergy, the "shock", etc. My lil'boy takes up so much time that it has been sooo hard to not have my creative outlet as much. I also get the whole "idealism" -- and motherhood sure shatters that, hey? Good thing to learn, but so so hard to let go of. Appreciate hearing your experiences, as it brings encouragement to this mama :)

  • @korneliajewelry
    @korneliajewelry 6 років тому +1

    Thank you so so so much for sharing your story Kendyll!
    Our twins were also born in January 2017 and I feel the same about sooo many things you’re saying. I want to do my job 24/7 (because I love it and I also work from home) but I also felt like wanting to be a mom 24/7 and I also want to do everything perfectly and it is such a big struggle to know that that’s not possible! I think there are not enough people talking about this, so I’m very thankfull for this video.

  • @coralcreation5457
    @coralcreation5457 6 років тому

    I totally understand your point. My son will start pre-school 2 days a week from next week and I feel so excited about it because he'll have more contacts with other kids and because I'll be able to work more during those hours haha. From his birth I was a stay at home mum and I don't regret it because he was a nice baby who slept a lot during the day and I have learn a lot during those time. But, as a mixed-media artist, my mind is a lot on my work and splitting the family/creation time is so hard sometimes. Thank you for this honest video, I'm sure we are a lot in this situation :-)

  • @TheM0desta
    @TheM0desta 6 років тому +1

    This was awesome! I can relate to a lot of it, especially the part about being somewhat preoccupied with my work. I feel the same way, and have had to force myself to step away from it to give my family my time. Even to give myself personal care time. Being passionate about something is definitely a blessing and a test. Thanks for sharing.

  • @lidewijdevries4444
    @lidewijdevries4444 6 років тому

    Awesome to hear your experience. I am not a parent yet (I'm hoping to start a family in the very near future) but I always wondered how life would be like being a freelancer AND a mom.
    Hearing your story definitely gives me some insight. I already find it hard to balance all my work at times. I am a freelance illustrator AND musician, so on week days I'm in my studio and in the weekends I'm on stage performing with my band. It can be a real nice shift from the lonely studio to all that adrenaline on stage and also the other way around....coming back to the peaceful studio after all that energy during a gig. But it can also completely knock me down. After a gig or even a tour, I can come home extremely tired having a major anti climax and feeling really depressed.
    It's not uncommon for artists after giving so much energy, but hard nonetheless. I often go running to catch the worst mood drop.
    I gradually pick myself up again and start working.
    From one very determined person to another, I think you're doing really good.
    I am not a parent yet myself but I do know what It's like to juggle around a lot of different jobs. I can be a real workaholic because I love what I do... like you.
    I can't possibly choose between being an artist and an illustrator so I gave that notion up long ago.
    But it does mean that I have to guard my boundries and not burn myself up.
    I think it's okay to not be okay at times when you feel like you don't have everything under controle.
    Accepting struggle can lead to more clearity in a way. I don't know if that makes sense to you but it helps me sometimes.
    Thank you for sharing your experience! :)

  • @jillianclemmons
    @jillianclemmons 6 років тому

    I LOVE what you said about this b/c I think SO many of my creative friends with kids have felt similarly, and even though I don't have children, I foster dogs from home (which I know is SO not the same) but I share a lot of your feelings. I work from home, and fostering is very time intensive. I used to not really know which direction I wanted to take my shop and projects--and now that I do--I'm feeling some real conflicting feelings about how much time I want to spend on care-taking vs. personal projects. Thank you so much for this video.

  • @irisflower4366
    @irisflower4366 6 років тому

    This was so good...I remember those first few months ( yes months!! not weeks) as well. Love how real this resonates all these years ago for me. Thank you Kendyll =)

  • @JennyGranberry
    @JennyGranberry 6 років тому

    Thank you for sharing this. I'm a creative professional who has just now come around to the idea of being a mother and hearing this feels realistic and comforting. I feel soooooooooooo much better hearing that you didn't decide you never wanted to work again and just be a mom - I'm so afraid to lose my passion in life after having a kid. Side note: You look so cute in glasses!!!!!

  • @AlexandraBondArt
    @AlexandraBondArt 3 роки тому

    Thank you for making this video, there are so few discussions about being a freelance illustrator mom. I had my first, a premie, only three weeks ago and while I’m giving myself at least two months maternity leave, I’m struggling with staying to a schedule just for pumping and feeding her. I feel inspired to create even just for myself but I just can’t find the time right now.

  • @ashleyabbott5243
    @ashleyabbott5243 6 років тому

    Thanks for sharing this video! I'm not trying to be an illustrator, but I am trying to start my own small creative business and as a woman in my early twenties I'm starting to think about how I'll merge my career, personal interests, and family when the time comes. Listening to your experiences and feelings has been really insightful!

  • @KallerhultCreations
    @KallerhultCreations 6 років тому

    As an artist/illustrator and mum - all I can say is: WORD!! If I did the same kind of video I would say pretty much the same thing! Especially the part where the mind never shuts off the creative thinking. It's a constant bee hive of ideas and that is not always perfectly matched with family life and kids. I've been struggling a bit with having a bad conscience for not "enjoying every minute" with my kids. I've come to realise that I am a much better mum if I get time to work. If I'm on "vacation" for a couple of weeks and don't have my creative outlet I become irritable and anxious.

  • @mailartlover
    @mailartlover 6 років тому

    thank you for sharing your experiences! I'm such a fan of your work and now I'm fan of you in generally hehehe. You are awesome!

  • @BrookeGlaser
    @BrookeGlaser 6 років тому +1

    Super nice to hear your strategies. Definitely something I've been thinking a lot about as a full-time illustrator who doesn't have kids yet. I know I want kids in my future, but man that time cost! Ha, I also love to organize/categorize things though, love the calendars.

  • @glorimarr1162
    @glorimarr1162 6 років тому

    Thank you so much for your videos!

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому

      Thank you so much for watching, Glorimar! I'm glad to know you liked it!

  • @CleoStudios
    @CleoStudios 6 років тому

    Thx for sharing! I’m a mom, artist (started my business still building) and it’s pretty hard. I have a rambunctious high needs 2 year old whose also got food allergies. She still doesn’t sleep but sleeps longer and it’s def more predictable BUT it’s def a balancing act.

  • @federica3164
    @federica3164 6 років тому

    Hi Kendyll, I really appreciate this video and your honest feelings and opinions about being mum and worker.
    I’m too that kind of mum who can not abandon a workplace. It’s part of me even to be illustrator. I used to be an illustrator, studied so hard to became one day but I lost my way a bit with my first child and now I got second one so... it’s a pleasure for me to see an artist woman like you who did not give up and keep going with little daily struggles.
    I have few years gap but I always keep dreaming to get back to my art, I really miss it. Do you think, as an artist and mum, is it too late for me after few years stepping to draw?
    Thanks for your video!

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому

      Thank you so much for sharing, Federica! Really sorry I've taken so long to answer. Short answer: it is NEVER TOO LATE!!! I'll talk a bit about this in today's video as well, so check back around noon ET when I'll post it. Hang in there!💕

  • @bectron11
    @bectron11 6 років тому

    Thanks for this video! I am an illustrator and Mum to two girls who are 4.5 and 1 years old. I could relate to so much of what you said. Do you know any online groups for Mum illustrators/freelancing?

    • @KendyllHillegas
      @KendyllHillegas  6 років тому

      Thank you, Becky! So nice to know you can relate! I'm going to answer your question in today's video!💕

  • @moridach1884
    @moridach1884 3 роки тому

    I know that iam not alone :")