Ugh that is such a perfect balance of dad joke and slang that I'm not sure if I love it or hate it! I simultaneously want to high five your brother while also telling him to get off my lawn.
I just imagined my little siblings saying it to me, and I had to reassure myself it wasn't real because I got very close indeed to crying myself to sleep, so yeah, that would also hurt me
Makes me think of when my 10 year old sister was bugging me, so I jokingly told her something about a restraining order, and she gave me the sweetest smile and said "Restraining order? You need to RESTRAIN your ORDER at burger king, you big pig."
“You look so different without glasses….. not different enough.” - My sister who was 3 Five years later and it’s still the best burn I’ve ever received
@@walterdeskins That was definitely an insult; she wants them to look different. Let me rephrase this: 'I wish you looked different than you do and if I could change how you look, I would.' That savage, narcissistic, little nihilist.
It's from a video game called Them's Fighting Herds. A character named Oleander says she doesn't have the "time nor crayons to teach you how to fight."
@@hr_3m0_fk_rv5u2 kids do say clever things, but I think a lot of times they have heard it somewhere else. There's still a huge tendency for people to post fake stuff, too. If you have kids, nieces, nephews or whatever someday, or if you already do, you'll get to hear some gems. At least I hope you do get to witness some, because they're pretty funny.
When my son was learning to write, his teacher gave him a paper with a fill-in sentence; "My Mom looks prettiest when she..." and he filled in "wears a lot of make-up and it's dark." Twenty years later he explained that what he meant was, when I gussied-up for a night out. I have accepted that explanation. In fact, I cling to it.
The reason kids inults hurt is that we are desensitized to swears and they are more creative in their insults as they dont use them and come up with things like 'you look like you eat wet cheese' and such.
I remember doing work experience in a kindergarten once and this one 5-year old boy (who was very sensitive, bless his heart) came over crying and wanted to sit on my lap. I asked him what happened and between the most gut wrenching sobs he said: "B-Bilal said.....no friend" while giving a thumbs down. This action ruined this kid's entire day. Receiving a thumbs down AND being told "not friend" was the worst his little big heart had gone through that day. I offered to play with him instead and we did. And then, 30 minutes later, the boys were playing and chasing each other on the playground again. Life is so simple. That being said, I once received a real-life thumbs down for a bad pun I made in a group of friends and that one stung harder than any roast would have (it WAS an awful pun but still, the thumbs down ruined my ego that evening)
I love how many little kids have no grasp of age and time. Be in your 20s or 30s, ask a little kid "how old do you think I am?" and they'll say something like 100 years old. Be any other age "how old do you think I am?" and they'll say something like 15, 8, 60.
@@ПаніПончикA first grader assumed my sister's then boyfriend was in the second grade. He was 23. Anyone older than them who is not a parent or teacher is just a grade above.
When I was watching LoTR with my 10 year old brother and at the scene when Eomir cries over Eowyn’s body he leaned over to me and said ‘I wouldn’t do that if this was you’
Huge props to Matt Rose for assuring us all that he will NOT be subjecting his kid to the horrors of growing up in a family vlog channel. That shit is not only annoying to onlookers, but potentially traumatic to the children who are denied a private life.
I still think about when I worked in a games shop last year. Now for important context, I'm 1.53m (5ft), so a bit short, I was 26 at the time of this. The shop had a cabinet with Pokémon cards in it, and this kid, must've been around 10-12, bent down to have a look at the cards on the bottom shelf. She commented saying "I'm never going to be able to stand back up" so I joked "Wait until you reach my age" No joke, she just got straight back up, stared me dead in the eyes and just says, without any hesitation... "But I'm taller than you" I was murdered
As a tiny tot, I once yelled “IM TOO PISSED OFF TO PEE!!” While mom tried to make me go potty before bed. I did not know that piss is pee and was very distressed at my rage being laughed at. Turns out, being an early talker does not make potty training any easier.
This was meant to be an insult, but backfired spectacularly. Buddy brought his kid over, and he was telling us about how he had just graduated fifth grade. Another friend and I were messing with him and kept saying things like “I dunno, he doesn’t even have any proof. I don’t believe him, he’s probably still in fourth grade”. Finally the kid yelled over to me “What do you know, you’re just a random 20 year old girl!”. Friend and I looked up at each other immediately and I said “You know what? I believe him now. This kid doesn’t seem like he’d lie about anything”. Thanks kid, I needed that.
My brother grew up thinking that "Driver" was a curse word/slur, because he only ever heard as "... This damn driver cut me off!" "What a terrible driver", etc. Ergo "Driver" must mean bad person. Whenever he was angry he would yell at whoever he was arguing with "YOU ARE A *dramatic inhale* DRIVERRRRRRR 😠😠😠"
THATS SO FUNNY. Reminds me how my sister thought "blank/blanking" was a swear word because when my brother quoted the Westerns he read he replaced the swear words with "blank" (at my parents' request).
I run a young adult creative writing club for my job. One of the middle school kids there once referred to me as "the cult leader" and I will now be putting that on my resume.
this reminded me of something i once said that’d fit here- one day after school when i was younger, i was doing stuff (drawing iirc) on the computer- which was set up on a landing in the lounge -while my nana sat on the couch nearby, asking me stuff about how my day at school went. Completely not in the mood, i just turned my head in her direction and said “some people ask too many questions” then immediately went back to what i was doing.
I totally get that. A lot of times, adults (who mean well) will just constantly bombard children with questions or requests to "sing that song again" and I'll be sitting there like, jeez leave the poor kid alone.
Yeah it's fake. The point of it is that the person * who you're explaining to * needs crayons. Not the kid. Doesn't work. A different comment points out it's from a game called Them's Fighting Herds. Not sure if true, but if you've been on the internet in the past 10y you know that phrase.
In the polar opposite direction, my grandfather loves this bit of advice I have him when I was like 3 or 4: "When you get old, you die, so you should always stay a little bit young."
Congratulations, Matt! I work with preschoolers and they are CONSTANTLY roasting tf out of me. Also, they will never forget any embarrassing thing you do ever. Once I was serving lunch and slipped on some barley a kid had dropped on the floor. I fell HARD and spilled the milk I had been pouring at the time all over me. I went home early bc my clothes were soaked with milk and I had a massive bruise all down my leg. WEEKS later, one of the kids came up to me and went "Hey Julia, do you remember when you slipped and fell and got milk all over yourself? And you had to go home because you got a boo boo?" and im like "yes i absolutely remember that despite trying my best to repress it thanks kiddo"
@@rainbowjulia Oh my gosh, my Year Four teacher spilled her coffee all over her keyboard once, and the smart boy started up a trend of making all our Word of the Week sentences be about her spilling her coffee The sentence that started it was “[teacher name] spilt her coffee while staring at the *foliage* “
Just to warn you about my own childhood. My brother first word was no, he believed he was smarter than everyone else, but he was also always quiet and enjoyed his personal space. Meanwhile my first word was again, my parents found me hanging from a chandelier once as a toddler, and my dad favorite catchphrase when I was a kid was “her go button got stuck”. I’ve also babysat before and have realized that the 3-5 year olds are always the hardest because that’s the age they start to realize they are their own person. Insult I said once: “if I could reach the height of your stupidity I’d be 8 feet tall” “you look like your deep in thought but don’t know what your thinking about” both of these were said to my brother who is 5 1/2 years older than me 😅
You’re having a kid!? Dude, that kid is gonna have an awesome dad. Congratulations Rat-Moses! Edit for the confusion: the rat Moses thing is from an old video of his, one of the trying to say two things at once videos.
I watched the Little Mermaid when I was a little girl and learned the insult "you insignificant fool!" from Ursula. I held on to that, knowing it would be useful in the future. I used it on my kindergarten teacher who told me that I need to learn to use my time wisely. She called my mom. My mom never let me live that one down, but she also admitted later on she was proud of me for that in a weird way. 😂
My parents read a lot of things aloud to me when I was a baby, and as I started talking, I naturally started repeating things without necessarily knowing what they meant. I am now 22 years old, and my mother still won’t let me live down a grocery store trip when I was 1, where I told a store employee that I was “free from human folly and inanity.”
Most yotubers ignore comments that they don't like. Matt takes the time to print it out, light it on fire, and stick in in his mouth. Truly a legend Congrats on your kid, Matt! Hope the birth isn't an emergency frog situation
I think the best childhood insults for me came from The Amazing World Of Gumball, i don't know what the writers were on but they're creativity was unrivaled. A decent one that's a comeback to sassy remarks that always stuck with me was: "You know, when you say mean things while looking pretty, people think you're sassy. But when you have a face like that, people think you're sasquatch." Also, Congrats on the baby Matt!
I was once playing outside with my sister in a tub full of water, my mom, who at the time was probably 30 something walked out and I turned to my sister and proudly announced: "Oh look, it's senior swim time!" My mom still brings it up to this day
I used to pull that sort of stuff all the time on my parents (when I was well under 7). They later told me (something along the lines of) "It's funny because you always knew *exactly* what to say to make us feel terrible. It's like you knew exactly what we were most insecure about..." I was a pretty brutal child for a time, there.
Was just thinking about Matt rose, then I realized it's Monday, so I checked my phone and this notification greeted me very warmly. Thank you Matt rose
When I was little, I had this conversation with my dad: Me: Dad, where is my backpack? Dad: How would I know? I don’t know where anything is! Me: You know where the fridge is.
When I was a small child I told my mom “Mommies don’t go to work, they go to the GROCERY STORE!!” And another time after learning ..things “Mommy, I love you…. But not ALL of you”
I didn't know about the kid arriving in January part, congrats! And kids' insults can be very brutal. My personal favorite that I got hit with came from me showing up to my teaching assistant job with a giant wound on my knee from a bike accident. I expressed disappointment in my balance to the three-year-olds in my care and received: "Your skills are only bad because you keep being mean to them and they hate you now. You're either good at making everyone around you mad or are a big bully. It's your fault you fell." I was like "damn okay." Later in the night this same kid hit me with his shoe because he didn't want to sit down for reading time.
@@daemonburns-waight2421 Not really, surprisingly! I kinda just sat there stunned and trying to process that I'd just been hit with a flippin SHOE while the adults took over (I was 13 at the time) and called his mom lol
Matt Rose becoming a father means: 1. Everyone can technically call him Daddy now 2. Bamboo’s gonna be a big brother 3. He gets to have his own little Rosebud
5:35 “now I don’t have to smell the stench of your ruined life” goes WAY too hard, I feel like that’s something a fed up hero would say right before defeating the villain once and for all
9:09 "Way, way back in February 2010" _15 years ago_ *checks clock* November 25, 2024 _15 years ago_ 2010 *WAY WAY BACK* Hey Matt, what the SKULLEMOJI is going on?
I remember that, when I was 3yo-ish, my parents took me to a nature park with manatees. When I couldn’t see any, I looked my mother dead in the eye and said “This place is a joke.”
Similarly, after my mom picked me up from my furst day of sunday school and asked me how church was, I answered: "I understand why the pilgrims fled the Church of England"
I'm convinced children are the smartest beings on earth and when we 'educate' them and then 'train' them to work, and a lifetime of 'news' and 'entertainment' dumbs them down to what I am at 55 and will be later. There is no way I have become more inteliigent since I was 5.
I’m a part time teacher’s assistant, there was this kid (he thought he was tough) and he was arguing at the teacher and this kid says: “You sound worse than KSI”
I’ve been away caring for my elderly disabled father and I come back to the announcement of you expecting your first child….. I’m crying tears of joy for you that’s so good
Highlights of me and my brother growing up Me after using my dad's freshly tattooed arm to get across the couch: "sorry dad, I needed a lump and you were the only lump around" After telling my dad I had sent a "message" (leaf I pretended to write on) that "had his name on it" down the slide at the playground and hearing him improv a made up letter I corrected him that "it says John" Can't remember which of us said this but "mommy, I like that belt, it makes you look prettier than you actually are" is a hall of famer.
One time when I was a little kid my parents took me to a play that some highschoolers were putting on. The first part was a play that was more suited to little kids like my age and I guess I liked it. The second part however was some drama that was more for adults or older kids, and I thought that this part was really boring. At one point in the second part of the play, one of the actors said “You know, it’s interesting,” and apparently I stood up on my seat and yelled “NOPE IT NOT! NOPE IT NOT!” To which my parents nervously escorted me outside. It’s still an inside joke with us
I called my brother a hypocrite, who, in turn, called me a hypo-cringe.
Savage 🔥
Holy shit 😂
Ugh that is such a perfect balance of dad joke and slang that I'm not sure if I love it or hate it! I simultaneously want to high five your brother while also telling him to get off my lawn.
*yoink*
hypo- means less than normal (with hyper- being more than normal) so if anything that should be a compliment
"I'm so jealous of all the people who haven't met you."
That one is straight vile
I was gonna comment this lol
Once when I was a kid I addressed my dad as “Your Bigness”.
Brutal
W
I’m getting Max from yellow submarine vibes from this lol
Sounds like something Will Smith would say to his uncle on fresh prince of bel air
my little brother once was running up and down the hallway, reached out, and punched my dad square in the nuts for absolutely no reason
"YOUR EYEBROWS ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR FUTURE" IS INSANE
I know, that's a next-level burn!
There’s no denying I’d take offense because I just simply would
these kids are more savage then my name!
*becomes more effective against enemies with smaller eyebrows
*Plus 20 damage to enemies with no eyebrows
@@Ruthles5games
*not very effective against enemies with abnormally large eybrows
*50% chance to crit against enemies with unibrows
Genuinely "I'm throwing away all of your hugs" would kill me
that would actually hurt me quite a bit
i'd cry
I think I would actually cry
Same
I just imagined my little siblings saying it to me, and I had to reassure myself it wasn't real because I got very close indeed to crying myself to sleep, so yeah, that would also hurt me
My 5 year old cousin told me "a ghost can die again looking at your face"
CRAZY
DAAAANG!!
Still haven't recovered.
DAMN!
CRAZY WORK WHATTT😭
Makes me think of when my 10 year old sister was bugging me, so I jokingly told her something about a restraining order, and she gave me the sweetest smile and said "Restraining order? You need to RESTRAIN your ORDER at burger king, you big pig."
💀💀
Dayum that genuinely made me laugh! 😂 I am jealous of kids. I never know in time how to insult people who wronged me.
Fucking brutal
LMFAOO
definitely saving this for later
Can’t wait for Matt’s kid to say its first words: SKULL EMOJI 💀
Waiting for that day to come
EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION 🚨🐸
Hell yeah
BRO XD
Or "Not again, Eugene!" :D
“You look so different without glasses…..
not different enough.”
- My sister who was 3
Five years later and it’s still the best burn I’ve ever received
Not sure if she was insulting you or complementing you
@@walterdeskins That was definitely an insult; she wants them to look different.
Let me rephrase this: 'I wish you looked different than you do and if I could change how you look, I would.'
That savage, narcissistic, little nihilist.
I’m fucking stealing this! My friends won’t know what hit them!
My son at 8:
"Dad, do you talk about history so much because you're part of it?"
Whoaa😂
😭💀
brutal
9/10
Holy...
“i don’t have the time nor the crayons to explain why you’re wrong” is ICONIC
Also, clearly fake because there's no way a kid said that.
And probably fake
It's from a video game called Them's Fighting Herds. A character named Oleander says she doesn't have the "time nor crayons to teach you how to fight."
@@hr_3m0_fk_rv5u2 kids do say clever things, but I think a lot of times they have heard it somewhere else. There's still a huge tendency for people to post fake stuff, too.
If you have kids, nieces, nephews or whatever someday, or if you already do, you'll get to hear some gems. At least I hope you do get to witness some, because they're pretty funny.
@@jackofminds8338 I also read that phrase in a webcomic, it’s a moderately common insult
When my son was learning to write, his teacher gave him a paper with a fill-in sentence; "My Mom looks prettiest when she..." and he filled in "wears a lot of make-up and it's dark."
Twenty years later he explained that what he meant was, when I gussied-up for a night out. I have accepted that explanation. In fact, I cling to it.
The reason kids inults hurt is that we are desensitized to swears and they are more creative in their insults as they dont use them and come up with things like 'you look like you eat wet cheese' and such.
I remember doing work experience in a kindergarten once and this one 5-year old boy (who was very sensitive, bless his heart) came over crying and wanted to sit on my lap.
I asked him what happened and between the most gut wrenching sobs he said: "B-Bilal said.....no friend" while giving a thumbs down.
This action ruined this kid's entire day. Receiving a thumbs down AND being told "not friend" was the worst his little big heart had gone through that day. I offered to play with him instead and we did. And then, 30 minutes later, the boys were playing and chasing each other on the playground again. Life is so simple.
That being said, I once received a real-life thumbs down for a bad pun I made in a group of friends and that one stung harder than any roast would have (it WAS an awful pun but still, the thumbs down ruined my ego that evening)
they hurt bc getting flamed by a toddler destroys your ego, especially in front of other people.
@@Windmelodie if someone gave me a thumbs down saying "not friend" i think id cry too tbh, that would be devastating
Fresh Mozarella is fucking delicious, and I don't care what any children think.
I would think the real reason they hurt is because they don't mean to be malicous and are just speaking the truth.
No but "Grandmother To The Mountains" actually sounds like some kind of cool jedi master kind of title.
Fr. That's like a wise old witch that gives you a quest.
I love how many little kids have no grasp of age and time.
Be in your 20s or 30s, ask a little kid "how old do you think I am?" and they'll say something like 100 years old.
Be any other age "how old do you think I am?" and they'll say something like 15, 8, 60.
@@ПаніПончикA first grader assumed my sister's then boyfriend was in the second grade. He was 23. Anyone older than them who is not a parent or teacher is just a grade above.
Fr
"Grandfather To The Rivers": a worthydisdi opponentsdadgan'ne?
When I was watching LoTR with my 10 year old brother and at the scene when Eomir cries over Eowyn’s body he leaned over to me and said ‘I wouldn’t do that if this was you’
💀
oh hell no 😭
NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
no way 😭
"YOURE GRANDMOTHER TO THE MOUNTAINS!" Is such an iconic line
It sounds pretty badass tbh
@@RADZIO895 "grandmother to the mountains" sounds like a translation of an ancient appellation to an old deity of an uncontacted tribe
@@consumingkazoos lmao
yo mama so old she's the grandmother of the mountains
That means that he is father to the mountains
Huge props to Matt Rose for assuring us all that he will NOT be subjecting his kid to the horrors of growing up in a family vlog channel. That shit is not only annoying to onlookers, but potentially traumatic to the children who are denied a private life.
If k was mad at my mom and she recorded me id actually delete the channel
True, I hope his kid a healthy happy life!
Yep. He's a immature dude (in a hilarious way, dw) but it seems like he'll be a thoughtful father
He is a very insane man, but it looks like he will also be a great father.
children are already denied a private life
A million years ago when I was a very small child, I saw a person wearing a nose ring and helpfully declared, “You have a booger in your nose.”
Bannunna gauidoroopppppppppppppppppppp MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"You're like a hair in the face" is my sisters' favorite insult.
stealing this
Ooo that's a good one 😂
7.5/10
Your sister is going places
😂
"Its just what the data said"
My absolute favourite 😂
I absolutely died💀💀
even the littlest childrens understand "some horseshit with numbers" is an inescapable facet of life
@@KingJellyfishIIdo not die your family will miss you very much
Kid was really just like “Idk man, skill issue, I guess”
I still think about when I worked in a games shop last year. Now for important context, I'm 1.53m (5ft), so a bit short, I was 26 at the time of this.
The shop had a cabinet with Pokémon cards in it, and this kid, must've been around 10-12, bent down to have a look at the cards on the bottom shelf. She commented saying "I'm never going to be able to stand back up" so I joked
"Wait until you reach my age"
No joke, she just got straight back up, stared me dead in the eyes and just says, without any hesitation...
"But I'm taller than you"
I was murdered
“Leave me alone you sexy old man” is absolutely wild
Imagining an indignant toddler yelling that with the most serious face makes me laugh so hard
@@blakewhite3131Not knowing the meaning of words that you yell can be very bad 😂
@@ThePerson9406 i just imagine every other parent like 🤨🤨🤨
As a tiny tot, I once yelled “IM TOO PISSED OFF TO PEE!!” While mom tried to make me go potty before bed. I did not know that piss is pee and was very distressed at my rage being laughed at.
Turns out, being an early talker does not make potty training any easier.
@elfiot that's so funny 😂
Us adults can never truly enjoy the beauty of the lack of a filter.
mmmm... may i offer you
COD
LOL
Halo
Not unless you're not a coward
You just haven't tried hard enough.
Either that, or you haven't been drunk or tired enough.
Get neurodivergent friends.
Unless yours mildly autistic lol
This was meant to be an insult, but backfired spectacularly. Buddy brought his kid over, and he was telling us about how he had just graduated fifth grade. Another friend and I were messing with him and kept saying things like “I dunno, he doesn’t even have any proof. I don’t believe him, he’s probably still in fourth grade”. Finally the kid yelled over to me “What do you know, you’re just a random 20 year old girl!”.
Friend and I looked up at each other immediately and I said “You know what? I believe him now. This kid doesn’t seem like he’d lie about anything”. Thanks kid, I needed that.
My brother grew up thinking that "Driver" was a curse word/slur, because he only ever heard as "... This damn driver cut me off!" "What a terrible driver", etc. Ergo "Driver" must mean bad person. Whenever he was angry he would yell at whoever he was arguing with "YOU ARE A *dramatic inhale* DRIVERRRRRRR 😠😠😠"
😂 that is hilarious
THATS SO FUNNY. Reminds me how my sister thought "blank/blanking" was a swear word because when my brother quoted the Westerns he read he replaced the swear words with "blank" (at my parents' request).
"You're a silly little boy and you'll NEVER go to space!" 😈😈 sent me. I was ready for anything but space
Only proving their point, not ready for space
where did it send you? not to space, obviously
@@grankmisguided lol 😂😂 if u aren't joking, "sent me" means got me laughing rly hard, similar meaning to "killed myself laughing"
@@TheClassNerd1848 what does it mean if i AM joking? And how hard do I have to be joking for the meaning to change? 🤔
@@grankmisguided lol 😂😂 I meant if weren't joking abt not knowing the meaning of "sent me"
"I'm throwing away your hugs" if I was told that I'd be devastated
"I don't have the time nor the crayons to explain why you're wrong" is going into the 'work emails I wish I could send' folder
I need to see what else is in this folder
I run a young adult creative writing club for my job. One of the middle school kids there once referred to me as "the cult leader" and I will now be putting that on my resume.
Congratulations
this reminded me of something i once said that’d fit here-
one day after school when i was younger, i was doing stuff (drawing iirc) on the computer- which was set up on a landing in the lounge -while my nana sat on the couch nearby, asking me stuff about how my day at school went.
Completely not in the mood, i just turned my head in her direction and said “some people ask too many questions” then immediately went back to what i was doing.
😭
I totally get that. A lot of times, adults (who mean well) will just constantly bombard children with questions or requests to "sing that song again" and I'll be sitting there like, jeez leave the poor kid alone.
"You see that door? I want you on the other side of that door!" I'm stealing that one.
Ok but "I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain why you're wrong" hits on a different level
young sheldon like insult
...it's an old t-shirt catchphrase. The actual shirts with that line on it have been around for at least a decade.
Yeah it's fake. The point of it is that the person * who you're explaining to * needs crayons. Not the kid. Doesn't work. A different comment points out it's from a game called Them's Fighting Herds. Not sure if true, but if you've been on the internet in the past 10y you know that phrase.
Pregnant stories? :3
Real as a 17 year old I would just *die*
when I was 7 my mom turned 40 and I said "I'm sorry you're so old" that is still a running joke in our family, we say it on every birthday.
In the polar opposite direction, my grandfather loves this bit of advice I have him when I was like 3 or 4:
"When you get old, you die, so you should always stay a little bit young."
Bruh my mom was 45
@@WzeyisbacklmaoMy mom was 43
One time I told my mom I thought she had the type of diabetes people get after turning 40. She was in her early 30s
@@CodaBlair dw my mom was also like that
Congratulations, Matt! I work with preschoolers and they are CONSTANTLY roasting tf out of me. Also, they will never forget any embarrassing thing you do ever. Once I was serving lunch and slipped on some barley a kid had dropped on the floor. I fell HARD and spilled the milk I had been pouring at the time all over me. I went home early bc my clothes were soaked with milk and I had a massive bruise all down my leg. WEEKS later, one of the kids came up to me and went "Hey Julia, do you remember when you slipped and fell and got milk all over yourself? And you had to go home because you got a boo boo?" and im like "yes i absolutely remember that despite trying my best to repress it thanks kiddo"
lmao
@@rainbowjulia Oh my gosh, my Year Four teacher spilled her coffee all over her keyboard once, and the smart boy started up a trend of making all our Word of the Week sentences be about her spilling her coffee
The sentence that started it was “[teacher name] spilt her coffee while staring at the *foliage* “
10:42 why did Matt’s small ‘my broccoli :(‘ make me cackle so much lmfaoo
Not his broccoli!
Vine energy 💀
He really was holding on that broccoli 😂
"Ma' broc'lee🥲"
Just to warn you about my own childhood. My brother first word was no, he believed he was smarter than everyone else, but he was also always quiet and enjoyed his personal space. Meanwhile my first word was again, my parents found me hanging from a chandelier once as a toddler, and my dad favorite catchphrase when I was a kid was “her go button got stuck”. I’ve also babysat before and have realized that the 3-5 year olds are always the hardest because that’s the age they start to realize they are their own person.
Insult I said once: “if I could reach the height of your stupidity I’d be 8 feet tall” “you look like your deep in thought but don’t know what your thinking about” both of these were said to my brother who is 5 1/2 years older than me 😅
I can't believe Matt's pregnant! Congratulations!
LOL 🤣
Of course he's not pregnant
He reproduces through mitosis
@@ythegameritaMatt-Tosis
He isn't pregnant. He's PREGANANANT
@@omegacatcj1712 UWFIENVSJNHR IM DYING
You’re having a kid!? Dude, that kid is gonna have an awesome dad. Congratulations Rat-Moses!
Edit for the confusion: the rat Moses thing is from an old video of his, one of the trying to say two things at once videos.
RAT MOSES
Rat moses
RAT MOSES????
EXCUSE ME?
rat moses 😭
it's a reference to an old video in case you didn't know
"There are so many people out there who hate you. And that's inevitable."
- 3 year old niece
I watched the Little Mermaid when I was a little girl and learned the insult "you insignificant fool!" from Ursula. I held on to that, knowing it would be useful in the future.
I used it on my kindergarten teacher who told me that I need to learn to use my time wisely. She called my mom.
My mom never let me live that one down, but she also admitted later on she was proud of me for that in a weird way. 😂
Oh my GOOOOOOOSHHHH that is AWESOME 😂😂😂😂😂😂
You now need to work "poor unfortunate soul" into a sentence.
My parents read a lot of things aloud to me when I was a baby, and as I started talking, I naturally started repeating things without necessarily knowing what they meant. I am now 22 years old, and my mother still won’t let me live down a grocery store trip when I was 1, where I told a store employee that I was “free from human folly and inanity.”
@@tsifirakiehl4250 that's beautiful; I cried laughing.
Most yotubers ignore comments that they don't like. Matt takes the time to print it out, light it on fire, and stick in in his mouth. Truly a legend
Congrats on your kid, Matt! Hope the birth isn't an emergency frog situation
My little brother, when around 17 months old, I told him love you and good night and such, and he slapped me across the face. GOOD LUCK BUDDY
I think the best childhood insults for me came from The Amazing World Of Gumball, i don't know what the writers were on but they're creativity was unrivaled. A decent one that's a comeback to sassy remarks that always stuck with me was: "You know, when you say mean things while looking pretty, people think you're sassy. But when you have a face like that, people think you're sasquatch."
Also, Congrats on the baby Matt!
That's so mean 😭
That show is so funny 😂
The fact that the kids l were close friends with an actual sasquatch makes the put-down all the more devastating. They would know!
Imagine having a big conversation with a kid and the kid responds with:
"CRINGE"
SKULLEMOJI
SKULLMOJII
SKULLEmoji - little mat
@@Upstartfirthis translated to “SKULL emoji - little food” 💀
@@tiletastic9265lil matt is food
I was once playing outside with my sister in a tub full of water, my mom, who at the time was probably 30 something walked out and I turned to my sister and proudly announced: "Oh look, it's senior swim time!" My mom still brings it up to this day
Brutal
„I‘m so jealous of all the people that haven’t met you“ is now part of my vocabulary 😂
4:37 the delivery of "MANIAC" was crazy
4:39
By that description of the scene I guess that he was referencing a scene from Madagascar
"leave me alone you sexy old man"
That parent is getting put on some sort of list now.
CONGRATULATIONS MATT!
@@ReOrchestra .
CHEERS N THANKS 😊
@@Matt_Rose 💀My favorite grandfather to the mountains of all time
@@Matt_Rose
Hello grandpa
Indeed
5:34 "Now I don't have to smell the stench of your ruined life". Is my favorite for that delivery alone!
kid will say ‘emergency frog situation’.
nah this js reminded me of the time i said to my mother "i'm more sad than if you had died when i was a baby" when i got told i had to go to bed 💀💀
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
LMAO
@@Matt_Rose SKULLEMOJIIH
I used to pull that sort of stuff all the time on my parents (when I was well under 7). They later told me (something along the lines of) "It's funny because you always knew *exactly* what to say to make us feel terrible. It's like you knew exactly what we were most insecure about..."
I was a pretty brutal child for a time, there.
@@Matt_Roseskuhull emojay
Was just thinking about Matt rose, then I realized it's Monday, so I checked my phone and this notification greeted me very warmly. Thank you Matt rose
You are most welcome 💪
@@Matt_Rose grandpa..
@@Matt_Rose7 grand dad...
@@DiggyPTBALLS OVER
@@Matt_Rosethe sexy old man one caught me off guard I nearly choked-
My cousin said "With all your interest in languages, can you tell me if there's a word in any language to say how ugly you look with a tie?"
5:59 I don't know why, but that broccoli standing straight up kinda scares me
Broccoli always scares me
your pfp kinda scares me
10:42 my broccoli 😢
MY CABAGES
@@fernoagent8581Lmao
🥦
NOOO NOT THE BROCCOLI! 😭
NO, NOT MY BROCCOLI. NOT MY BROCOLLLLIIIIIIIIII
When I was little, I had this conversation with my dad:
Me: Dad, where is my backpack?
Dad: How would I know? I don’t know where anything is!
Me: You know where the fridge is.
Wince! … I mean good point!
When I was a small child I told my mom “Mommies don’t go to work, they go to the GROCERY STORE!!”
And another time after learning ..things
“Mommy, I love you…. But not ALL of you”
what things did you learn????
“YOU’RE COOKING LIKE A FUCKIN LIIIIIIIMMMMEEE!” is funnier than it should be
I apparently told my older sister she looked like a "dead alien fish" when I was very young.
The joke melding the chicken crossing the road with knock-knock has had a profound effect on me. It's comedy genius.
I didn't know about the kid arriving in January part, congrats! And kids' insults can be very brutal. My personal favorite that I got hit with came from me showing up to my teaching assistant job with a giant wound on my knee from a bike accident. I expressed disappointment in my balance to the three-year-olds in my care and received: "Your skills are only bad because you keep being mean to them and they hate you now. You're either good at making everyone around you mad or are a big bully. It's your fault you fell." I was like "damn okay."
Later in the night this same kid hit me with his shoe because he didn't want to sit down for reading time.
That was straight up personal WOW.. 💀
Don't you wish you could just him 'em back with the books? 😅😅
"SIT📙DOWN📗AND📘SHUT📓UP📕'
@@daemonburns-waight2421 Not really, surprisingly! I kinda just sat there stunned and trying to process that I'd just been hit with a flippin SHOE while the adults took over (I was 13 at the time) and called his mom lol
@@sorrel_leaf_vespers Oh that makes sense lol. Kids can be such terrors. Best of luck to Mat! 😅
I love how matt said “Mini matt dropping in January!”
EEEEEEEEEE! Congrats Matt! You're going to be the most chaotic dad in the best way and I love that!!
Matt Rose becoming a father means:
1. Everyone can technically call him Daddy now
2. Bamboo’s gonna be a big brother
3. He gets to have his own little Rosebud
We should call him Matt Daddy
YES
@@autonomouscollective2599matt daddy II
Rosebud 🥺
Rosebud? I'm too dirty minded
_"Leave me alone, you sexy old man!"_
I turned blue choking down that laughter, trying not to wake up everyone in the house 😂
Hey Matt, I love your content! Keep up the good work! Also congrats on the kid!
Cheers very much!!
Is no one gonna talk about the knock knock joke at 6:33 ? Absolutely SAVAGE 🙌🔥
Ikr it's the best one
It's unoriginal tho, that's a roast as old as time. Some of these they heard at school
@@S0ydogg123 yeah, but roasts learned on the schoolyard are some of the best out of pocket ones 😂
Your time stamp only say “-kin”
5:35 “now I don’t have to smell the stench of your ruined life” goes WAY too hard, I feel like that’s something a fed up hero would say right before defeating the villain once and for all
9:09 "Way, way back in February 2010"
_15 years ago_
*checks clock*
November 25, 2024
_15 years ago_
2010
*WAY WAY BACK*
Hey Matt, what the SKULLEMOJI is going on?
YEA idk what's that about. especially cause it was 2009 15 yrs ago or possibly the beginning of 2010
Probably meant to type 2001 and didn’t catch the typo
time traveller
@@ZuziaSss-zf9vbposts don't show 15 years ago until it has been 15 years to the day, so definitely not early 2010.
@@UnluckydoodI sure hope so lol
4:04 “You’re cooking like a fucking liiiiiiime” absolutely killed me
4:02
@@GamingNoobpro-dp3iqthanks
“Your garden is overgrown and your cucumbers are soft”
That is fucking savage
So we've found a real-life Calvin in the mum performance chart kid
Don't forget the kid with the bad bike! XD
First thing I thought of. Dad popularity ratings are at an all-time low!
Matt, you _better_ teach your kid to throw some fire insults like this
Agreed.
Kids have the most fascinating combination of perfect understanding and perfect lack of understanding that makes for the best quotes
"The bean king" is wild 💀💀💀💀
Sounds like something my daughter would say about her dad.
I feel like I’ll probably end up with a similar title if I keep up a legume-heavy diet (who can blame me they’re healthy and delicious)
@@DiamondKingStudios very true
I remember that, when I was 3yo-ish, my parents took me to a nature park with manatees. When I couldn’t see any, I looked my mother dead in the eye and said “This place is a joke.”
Brutally honest.
Similarly, after my mom picked me up from my furst day of sunday school and asked me how church was, I answered:
"I understand why the pilgrims fled the Church of England"
I'm convinced children are the smartest beings on earth and when we 'educate' them and then 'train' them to work, and a lifetime of 'news' and 'entertainment' dumbs them down to what I am at 55 and will be later. There is no way I have become more inteliigent since I was 5.
Matt, your child better come out of the womb screaming "SKUHULLL EMOHJEEEEE!!!"
2:30 Assuming this is real, they gave birth to the human version of AM, from "I have no mouth and I must scream."
Fr that shit is terrifying
I'm glad in not the only one that thought of the hate monologue lmao
If that was real, it was probably from a teenager.
For real. certified AM moment
@@randomnessrules4971 i mean still would have to give birth
Apparently when I was a kid and mad I’d say “you’re not in my heart anymore!”
*Edit: an -> and
oof
“YOU MANIACC” Im fucking cryjng
These parents are in an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!
2:05 "What do you play, *hide and seek?*"
utterly devastated, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.
children insults are the best insults yet the most brutal 😭
Yeah that’s true
They're either random and/or specific
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain why you're wrong
they hit you in the core and it’s not even funny at that point 😭
That's cause you know that's what they're _really_ thinking
3:15 sounds like they need thicker walls on naughty nights.
"I will not bother to argue with people who don't use their brains to think" is a classic
0:43 I can’t tell if the kid meant their eyebrows are huge or their future is tiny, phenomenal insult either way, I’ll be using that
agree
That's what's great, it hits on both fronts.
Pretty sure it’s an insult simulator quote.
I’m a part time teacher’s assistant, there was this kid (he thought he was tough) and he was arguing at the teacher and this kid says:
“You sound worse than KSI”
I CACKLED
7.5/10 - can be more creative but pretty good
Not very creative
I’ve been away caring for my elderly disabled father and I come back to the announcement of you expecting your first child….. I’m crying tears of joy for you that’s so good
"leave me alone you sexy old man!" is peak
8:20 this is exactly what happened in my house. Sexy is the worse word you could possibly say according to my lil brothers
Same, one time my brother called me a sexy maggot
@@IsntPhoenix WHAT THE HELL 😭😭😭
D&D players are eating with this one, especially the ones playing Bards.
Highlights of me and my brother growing up
Me after using my dad's freshly tattooed arm to get across the couch: "sorry dad, I needed a lump and you were the only lump around"
After telling my dad I had sent a "message" (leaf I pretended to write on) that "had his name on it" down the slide at the playground and hearing him improv a made up letter I corrected him that "it says John"
Can't remember which of us said this but "mommy, I like that belt, it makes you look prettier than you actually are" is a hall of famer.
my god
what kind of person would get the idea that he'd become a family channel
5:49 I love how the singular broccoli on his plate is just standing up like a tree
My mom was talking about her age; to which I replied: “well yeah, weren’t you born in the 1900s?”
"You smell like dirty bras" WHAT TGE HELL 😭
I found you again, Hello 👋 My name is Email
@@octangulastellaOH JOD, HOW DID YOU? WTF 😭
@@The_funny_spaghet 😁😁😁
to be called a cabbage is an endearment in french, which i find hilarious
One time when I was a little kid my parents took me to a play that some highschoolers were putting on. The first part was a play that was more suited to little kids like my age and I guess I liked it. The second part however was some drama that was more for adults or older kids, and I thought that this part was really boring.
At one point in the second part of the play, one of the actors said “You know, it’s interesting,” and apparently I stood up on my seat and yelled “NOPE IT NOT! NOPE IT NOT!” To which my parents nervously escorted me outside. It’s still an inside joke with us
"im throwing away your hugs" made my jaw DROP! 😭😭😭