Melanie Murphy I’d really like to know what your personal beliefs are. Like spirituality, religion, values, etc. Considering that you went to a catholic school (I think you said this, if not, sorry for getting it wrong 😄), did you grow up in a certain religion or nah? Anyway, thanks so much for everything, I love love love your videos! 💛💛💛💛
UGH someone has finally said it! I am so done with the whole 'I hate myself' '#relatable' trend like whY is it cool to hate yourself? Why is it something to be proud of? And what really gets me is that most people who say that stuff don't actually mean it, they just think it sounds cool or whatever. People who struggle with themselves are unlikely to shout about it online. It's the same with mental health- it is great to talk about it, but romanticising it and making it seem like a cool thing to have is so wrong. For some reason it is cool to be miserable- why don't we all be a bit less negative for once? Like come on! Life isn't that bad!!
Indeed! I've not been fond of myself for a long time - and when it has been for real it's not nice to seeing some treating it as trend. Much happier now - but wouldn't wish that self-doubt and insecurity on anyone
I think the ghost writing issue comes up these days because of Zoella and the likes who don't address it. Not everyone can write everything by themselves but have some spine and admit that. Not just scam your fans and take the money. You have been transparent and honest with your sponssrhips, ads and other deals so you have your subscribers respect.
I think some people use the word fatphobic because they are not as secure with themselves as they like to portray. Tess holliday even attacked a fan of hers because the fan lost weight and posted happy pictures about her journey. So Tess unfollowed her and called her fat phobic even when the fan complemented her and said she had to lose weigth for her health. Taking care of yourself and losing weight has nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. I'm losing weight right now and being overweight limits me. Sure I don't have diseases associated with obesity but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I notice I have backpains and I'm not as flexible as I used to be when I was skinny.
You shouldnt tell someone they have to loose weight. Its none of your buisness, I'm sure the overweight person already knows that and its no one elses problem except theirs. Don't give advice that isn't asked for.
@@Xplreli when obese people stop putting a strain on the NHS obesity treatment increased 18% in 2018 there were 617,000 obesity-related admissions in total in England of which 10,705 were directly for obesity treatment such as bariatric surgery Unless there's a mental or physical condition impacting people to lose weight they need to take accountability and stop making excuses we dont encourage smoking or drugs or binge drinking so why should we encourage rampant obesity
I love that you just emanate this aura of self acceptance and self growth and it's really really lovely. It inspires me a lot. Like I've only just turned 20 and I already feel like I've got a good head on my shoulders and enough self worth to battle the world when they doubt me. Still working on trusting my own abilities and skills....but if anyone else tries to put down my abilities I get very defensive and suddenly believe in myself but other times it's less so...its strange. But I'm glad I've learned to love myself enough to fight for myself and to stand up for me. So yeah just proud of myself. And wanted to thank you for helping reaffirm me in my life kinda, haha 😁
I cannot help but feel a bit angry that someone can actually assume that you are fatphobic - I mean - do they actually watch your videos? You are the most amazing body positivity influencer that I know of - and the best influencer (in my opinion) in general. I simly do not understand haha. We love you💚
My exact thoughts. Tbh, I think many people just throw in really random comments (without actually thinking that of the influencer in question) when asked for "assumptions" when someone is intending to do this type of video.
I agree. I’m fat myself and Melanie makes me feel good about the body I’m in and motivates me to love me for what it does and its strength rather than what people want it to look like, and she alwaaays motivates me to eat cleaner. Keep doing you, Melanie 💚
I can understand how this assumption could come about, though it is not necessarily my opinion about Melanie Murphy. There are differences between the concepts of body positivity, body confidence and Health At Every Size, though they all overlap and intertwine. I think this is important to understand first. The body positivity movement was started by fat black women and femmes as a space free from conversations about health, aesthetics, beauty ideals and weight stigma to celebrate the most marginalised of bodies - fat, superfat, black, brown, all colours, scarred, disabled, chronically ill, and the myriad of other ways in which human bodies are deemed unworthy by society. Body confidence can be an element of or a result of internalising body positivity, but it is not the same thing: You do not have to feel confident or positive about your body in order to be body positive, aka to celebrate all bodies and believe that all bodies are worthy of the same respect. HAES is a medical model based on the substantial scientific evidence that body weight or BMI are wholly insufficient and ineffective markers to determine an individual's health status. It does not mean that everyone is healTHY at every size, it simply recognises that health-promoting behaviours (not smoking, moderate alcohol consumption, good diet and regular exercise being the main behaviours) are a far better indicator of health that weight. It therefore follows that an individual in a larger body may be far "healthier" than a thin individual, if the former partakes in more health-promoting behaviours (cf Dr Laura Thomas' instagram for the recent study on health outcomes of these behaviours in different weight categories). Melanie is without a doubt an advocate for body confidence, which is fantastic and hopefully helps many people. The assumption that she is fatphobic may have come about because she does not adopt a HAES approach - for example, she attributes her poorer quality of life to "being overweight" instead of to the lack of health-promoting behaviours that she practised during that time. Of course, a lack of these behaviours can (and did for her) lead to weight gain, and implementing them can lead to weight loss, but weight status is a byproduct of these behaviours, not a determinant of health itself. It could also be argued that true body positivity, especially when infused with the science backing up the HAES approach, does not allow room for intentional weight loss, which Melanie often speaks about. This does not mean that health is thrown out the window in these approaches, it simply means that, if an individual wants to make an effort to improve their health, they can change their behaviour without dieting, restriction or over-exercise, so without pursuing weight loss. Whether weight loss occurs as a result of this behaviour change or not is irrelevant. I believe that, the fact that Melanie does not adopt a HAES approach, is not fully educated in the true meaning of body positivity and often mixes up "body confident" and "body positive" in her messaging could have led to the assumption that she is fatphobic. In my own opinion, Melanie is simply not yet educated in the terms that she often uses, which is problematic due to her large following, but doesn't mean that she is fatphobic. It seems she hasn't yet been able to completely reject diet culture and society's messages about what constitutes health and beauty, but that is a very long and arduous unlearning process for anyone and not something she deserves to be shamed for.
@@oliviadent970 I couldn't have said or explained it any better! Thank you so much for your effort to make things clearer and explain these concepts.🙏 I love your videos btw, Melanie. You're one of my all-time favourite influencers out there.💚
Whenever you explain your views and things I find myself just nodding in agreement and just like learning about myself. The whole time you were talking about self love, I was just like "damn it, you know what Melanie!? You got me there!" 💚
You're such a healthy influence on young people today among all the influencers today who are not relatable to most and who are only into themselves :) you're great!
I loooove you Melanie, whenever i have a bad moment and i lose motivation and confidence i watch you and i feel like anything is possible again. I lovelovelove listening to you. You inspire me, girl!
You are honestly my favourite youtuber. Your videos are inspiring and you're a role model for everyone regardless of their age. It's so amazing to be able to watch a youtuber who speaks about bisexuality, self-love and things that others don't feel comfortable talking about. I also have a love hate relationship with alcohol but I think I'm going to try and go by your 2 drink rule. Although I rarely drink when I go out after a drink it's so hard to say no - especially when everyone else around if getting smashed. I'd love to sit down and just talk to you for hours about everything and anything! Can't wait to read your book. x
I think that not feeling /able/ to love yourself is probably one of the reasons why people turn it into something they're 'proud' of, or something that's 'cool' in the #relatable way. I think that sometimes, if a problem you're having feels insurmountable, you just make it part of your outward-facing identity; you can't make it go away, so you find a way to get a sort of (hollow) satisfaction from that problem rather than it just making you miserable. I know I did that with perfectionism - I was too young to realise how to overcome that drive, or that I even /could/, or sometimes even that it wasn't serving me well. So I just embraced it all the harder, because that made the negative sides of it - the misplaced self-worth, the fear of failure, all that super fun stuff - easier to accept. Also, thanks for emphasising self-love without falling into the trap of shaming people who aren't there yet! (I don't think self-love is something I personally struggle with, but all the same it strikes me as paradoxical - and sometimes just downright unkind - when people go 'YOU SHOULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF', all the while making the recipient feel /worse/.)
I love that you love yourself. I wonder why people may assume that's a bad thing. Love is very important, you have to love yourself before loving others. Never stop loving yourself, Mel. You're great. 😍
I feel like you're a down to earth every day lass no airs and graces you and jessie are so close as we all know and you're proud of where you come from and your heritage and who you are
Hey Mel, thanks for sharing so much of yourself on the internet. I really admire your strength and courage. You inspire me to be more vulnerable in my own life, so thank you 😊💚
As a girl who's about to turn 20, I am excited for the future decade of my life. And although I've been struggling with the self-love thing lately, this video reminded me that I deserve to be loved by me and that I shouldn't feel ashamed for working on that. Thank you, Melanie
Melanie, I flippin love your brain. your mind is just fantastic. People will allllllwwaaayyysss have assumptions (it can be frustrating depending on what they are) but YES girl, you're so true to YOURSELF.
I work on an oncology/hospice unit. Tonight one of our regular patients whom we have all grown so close to told us that he will no longer continue chemo. Then we admitted another patient that hasn’t been back/ “in remission” for almost a year and his cancer is back with vengeance. Dealing with death and dying every week has opened my eyes that death is quite literally a part of life and no one is exempt to it. Many of our patients are 30-50 years old. I Would love some encouragement about death and dying, it does get to be quite frustrating seeing strong independent individuals decline quite quickly. Love your videos ❤️ Keep talking about the hard things, it makes a difference dear 😘
I’m just loving your content so much at the moment! It just feels like you’re really being you which stands out so much in a feed that feels full of people who say the same things, like the same stuff, and have the same style. You are fab 💚
It's a pleasure listening to you. Keep loveing life and enjoy yourself not always easy, don't get into what others think too much of you. You can only be you
I'm the EXACT same about aging. I also went through a lot in a short space of time, also in my late teens and early 20s, and to boot I spent most of the years before that dealing with untreated anxiety. I definitely don't fetishize my youth, lol. I'm deeply scared of death, and I'm scared to lose people down the road too, but I mean... I also know that you can't spend your life in fear of those things. You just can't. It'd consume you whole and you'd never truly live. And there's SO much exciting stuff to do in the meantime.
Great video! I loved that you explained your answers instead of just telling us whether the assumptions were true or false. Would you consider filming a video talking about your favourite books and what you like to read, what you liked to read as a child, which genres do you prefer etc? I'd like to see something like that in whichever format you find would best suit you, whether it is "10 favourite novels" or just chatty GRWM talking about books...
@@TheGirlHub I'm going to try to find those, thanks for letting me know! I went through her older videos (I'm following her for almost two years now so I was searching among the older ones) but probably not carefully enough. If it was a long time ago then it wouldn't hurt to have an update right? :)
Don't ever call your ability to cry at beauty pathetic, it's part of being a sensitive person and more people need to realise this and celebrate it. Great vid 🙌
Honestly, Melanie, I think there are so many people out there who just threw RANDOM comments at you. So many of these 'assumptions' are OBVIOUSLY wrong to anyone who's been watching you for a little while. NO ONE of your actual followers would ever think that you of all people were fatphobic (and that is only one of many totally ridiculous assumptions that were thrown at you here.)
you radiate strength, which for me, while I'm struggling with anorexia and feeling very small, is very inspiring to see. Thank you. I look forward to feeling my own strength as well.
Alsooooo Mel, astrology comes with an entire chart. It’s not just your sun sign, it’s all the planets and the moon and whatnot as well. Many of those placements will not be the same as your sun. So, yes, you will relate to traits in other signs’ descriptions, because they’re all apart of you, just to varying degrees.
I just love you even more after watching this video. How I wish we could be friends irl. You're such a lovely and amazing person, and I agree with you on so many things! 💚💚
I'm so glad I found your channel last summer - you always seem to find the right words and make me feel more positiv, if that makes sense :) I love how open you are and the body positivity. I'm still working on living with myself the way I am, some days are great, some are awful - but your videos definitely made a huge impact along the way
Thank you so much for this video, I’ve had some bad situations recently and this video has made me really think about how important self love is. Keep doing what your doing you are fab 💕
You look so stunning in this video Mel. So excited for your next book. Woohoo love that you're so happy and confident with who you are - I hope I get there before I turn 30 in 2 years too.
Also, I have to say that I loved you as a ginger but dark hair suits you so much, like combined with your green eyes It looks like you could be a character in GOT, does that make sense? Lol Anyways, you're beautiful. Lots of love 💚
I love your content over the last while in particular. We're around the same age and I never understand why people worry about getting older. This is the best time of my life and only getting better. I'd love if you made a video about productivity with a self love slant. How do you balance self acceptance with achieving big goals like writing your novel and creating. How do you be self motivated and productive without getting your self worth all tied up in your productivity.
Not a question but I just wanted to say I was at the last HP Studio Tour event & heard someone with an Irish accent pass me in Diagon Alley & that's how I found your channel So glad I did. You've quickly become my favourite UA-camr & it's just an added bonus to get some Wizarding World content/references sometimes 😂 ❤️
Hi Melanie! I just wanted to leave a comment to say how refreshing I find your videos. I see you comment on other UA-camrs’ videos with such warm positive messages and I love it 💚
You're such a leo ;) I liked that video with you and Jessie talking about zodiac signs, I'm into it but could completely understand going the other way as well. I think of all the people I've seen do this tag I really didn't have to guess your answers, you're more straight forward 100% of the time so we already kinda know, but I enjoyed
Loved how honest and real this was! Thank you Melanie :) I'd be curious to know what people would say about me... It's such an "interesting" experiment!
Yes for death positivity! I really have realized how people try to avoid that topic, but it happens to everyone and not communicating about subjects that go around it just complicates things. Let's talk about menopause in a positive way, let's talk about how wrinkles are not a flaw and how people should tell their loved ones what to do if the worst happens.
I'm almost 30, and I feel the same way about my 30s. I can't WAIT. Also, I don't want kids, but I totally understand that people do. Both stances are totally valid, and I'm sorry you get shit about it. I wish more people respected that other people know what they want for themselves!
People used to tend to get more conservative as they got older because they got richer and started protecting their property over the safety of others. That's NOT okay. Bernie Sanders didn't do that, his record has been straight for decades. As for astrology, it isn't supposed to go strictly off your sun sign, have someone read your birth chart! There are 12 houses governing 12 main issues and you can have a different sign for each one. Your North Node indicates your life purpose and your South Node the comfort zone you have to leave behind.
Please do a video about death and spirituality. I experienced grief for the first time at the end of 2018 and it's changed my life. I would love to hear what your thoughts are because you always have a refreshing perspective on important issues
Not sure why, but this video got me thinking about life. I just want to say thank you for sharing what you have. You have been a huge inspiration for me to get my shit together and start loving myself.
As a fat person on Their weight loss journey I come to your channel because it makes me feel very safe and loved and understood ❤️ so I really don't get how anyone would get the fat phobia thing from you
"I have cried over seeing a cute little bird" omg I can relate, first time I saw the Pixar short film Piper I cried bc I loved that little buddy so much 💜
As someone who has an eating disorder background and is overweight I find it hard to watch youtubers/influencers that focus on fitness even if it comes from a positive place And you are one of the few people I can watch without the worry of triggering something so I don’t agree with the fatphobic comment (if that means anything)
Beautiful as always! Really enjoyed this video and I feel like I know you a bit more now even though you usually open up a lot to your internet family anyways, thank you❤️❤️❤️
💃 I’d enjoy a video about spirituality/atheism/beliefs. I always find those sorts of videos fascinating (much in the same way that I find it fascinating to think about my own views/beliefs and why they are the way they are). Also, I don’t think the person who assumed you were fat-phobic knew what they were talking about. You’re one of the people I immediately think of when I think of “body positivity” as well as health and living a healthy lifestyle. You’re one of the UA-camrs that actually inspired me to live/eat healthier, but also to love myself regardless of size/weight/etc. 😊💕
No, it's not wrong that you said being overweight affected your quality of life. I'm overweight currently and it does affect things, unfortunately just the facts. You seem very body positive to me!
Although I'd wager it's incredibly common, it's still always surprising to me when people are closer to one of their parents than the other. My closeness with my parents is (and has always been) so balanced between the two, it's easy to forget that that's not everyone's experience - even people who have /good/ relationships with both.
I'd love to know how you found contentment in your small town. I feel like I struggle between wanting to live in a big city but also wanting a low key life in a small town lol
Yay you answered my question! I forgot I sent it 😅😂 also I completely agree about the laughing at anything thing, I'll laugh at anything dark, people take themselves too seriously sometimes :)
tweet out for fans of yours who make music of those genres you like, feature their music in your videos, credit them, and never have to use royalty free music again! contrapoints does this and it's refreshing to hear different music in every video you'd have never heard of otherwise.
If me congratulating someone on their weight loss they've been working on is considered 'fat phobic' then I guess I am. It's amazing to be comfortable in your body and you can do that at any size but, for a lot of people, their quality of life (physically) decreases when they're overweight, which makes perfect sense and I think it's an amazing achievement to make healthy life-style changes to get yourself to a weight you feel healthy and happy at; I will always congratulate people for this. You shouldn't feel ashamed for losing weight, just like you shouldn't feel ashamed for gaining weight. Although I do understand that weight loss done in an unhealthy way, for the wrong reasons, is a different matter and should not be encouraged in any way. The dating thing is just ridiculous. I can't help which types of people I'm attracted to, I literally have no control over it. If someone is morbidly obese, chances are it will be harder for me to be attracted to them. I wouldn't say it would never happen, because I just don't know who I'll end up falling for before I get to know them, but from my past record it's unlikely. There's nothing wrong with this; especially when you consider that plenty of people are predominantly attracted to plus-sized people. Who you're attracted to isn't a choice, you can't force people to do it.
@@emmaduffy721 I agree with you about the definition she read out, I guess it's pretty open to interpretation. I made the point because I've seen a fair few people online that shame any kind of weight loss in others, even if it's done for health reasons, because they feel it devalues the body positivity movement to want to change yourself in such a way. I don't agree with this. And yeah of course thin doesn't mean healthy
The congratulating someone on their weight loss isn’t so black and white. It refers more to pointing it out without thinking or not really knowing the person because it may unintentionally encouraging distorted eating. Shifting the focus from weight to more lifestyle stuff And relationship stuff is more about ingrained discrimination or blanket statements like “I wouldn’t date someone with cellulite” Most people are necessarily fatphobic but say/think that may be problematic (including myself)
Of course you shouldn't force yourself to date people you find unattractive, but questioning the beauty standards, Hollywood and the industry reproduce over and over again makes life much more rich and interesting. Finding beauty in old people (eases your own aging process for you), people who are considered being "ugly" in conventionally beauty standards... Even not just in people, but in animals (#adoptdontshop), food (placing vegetables, that don't look perfect in the supermarket instead of throwing them away...)... So I see many benefits in challenging yourself to find beauty in unexpected places, for yourself as a person as well as for the society.
Melanie could you do a video about your relationship with your parents? I'm also much closer with my dad but it sometimes makes me feel guilty that I'm not as close with my mom
Hey :) if you like rock/metal and classical music, and if you don't know them already, you definitely have to listen to symphonic metal bands like Epica or Nightwish. That brings me a lot of good feelings when I listen to it!
My relationship is the same with alcohol. In my past did lots of stupid ass shit, made mistakes and have the worse anixety drinking. it is very very rare for me drinking now. Amazing video Melanie. Ive followed you forever and i am still here!
Not wrong at all that you said your life was affected by being overweight we all know that its not good for your health and it definitely does not make you fatphobic you are always inclusive of everyone
First of all, personally, I think that it's absurd to call you - or actually anyone - "fatphobic" just for sharing your experiences of having been heavy and how losing weight improved your health and emotional/mental state, or even for believing that eating healthy and working out is important. Granted, I only just found your channel and only watched a couple of videos, I think mostly some of the more recent ones, but in those which I've seen that touched on the subjects of health/eating habits it did seem very balanced, there was nothing preachy about it, or anything condescending or anything of that sort, it really just came across as you sharing your own experiences and what works for you... Secondly, it's so true, about the importance of self-love and also regarding sticking up for oneself and not letting people treat you poorly! And I also truly agree on the subject of enjoying life, the fact that you don't let such things as aging/the passing of time stop you from relishing all you have accomplished so far and looking forward to the great things yet to come (it's something I personally struggle with, as I often feel that life just passes me by). And honestly, I also totally agree on the fact that sex, and especially the notion of women being open about actually enjoying their sexuality, is something that really shouldn't be a taboo, and it's good that gradually more people (again, especially women) are more confident about talking about this subject, even more so because ultimately there has just for a very long time been this huge double standard in society where it was perfectly acceptable for men to discuss their sex life, while women were (and oftentimes still are) called names and get stigmatized for even so much as talking about the subject in broader, more general terms let alone acknowledging that they happen to enjoy sex. (Yes, clicheés, stereotypes and double standards are something that majorly irritates me personally) Oh and can I just say, I love that top - it's gorgeous, especially the color, it suits you wonderfully!
Any rumours or questions that I didn't address in this video feel free to comment down here and ask!
Love you! 💖💖
it's rumoured that you're inspirational and a frickin badass 👏👏👏 no wait that's just the truth
The mark on your neck is from a bite a vampire and you are secretly one!
Melanie Murphy I’d really like to know what your personal beliefs are. Like spirituality, religion, values, etc.
Considering that you went to a catholic school (I think you said this, if not, sorry for getting it wrong 😄), did you grow up in a certain religion or nah?
Anyway, thanks so much for everything, I love love love your videos! 💛💛💛💛
Please tell me where you bought that top its gorgeous x
“as I get older, ageing scares me less” I really hope I can adopt this mindset
Ooh red is your colour!
Kelly's Daybook Isn’t That a beautiful outfit?? ❤️
UGH someone has finally said it! I am so done with the whole 'I hate myself' '#relatable' trend like whY is it cool to hate yourself? Why is it something to be proud of? And what really gets me is that most people who say that stuff don't actually mean it, they just think it sounds cool or whatever. People who struggle with themselves are unlikely to shout about it online. It's the same with mental health- it is great to talk about it, but romanticising it and making it seem like a cool thing to have is so wrong. For some reason it is cool to be miserable- why don't we all be a bit less negative for once? Like come on! Life isn't that bad!!
Indeed! I've not been fond of myself for a long time - and when it has been for real it's not nice to seeing some treating it as trend. Much happier now - but wouldn't wish that self-doubt and insecurity on anyone
I think the ghost writing issue comes up these days because of Zoella and the likes who don't address it. Not everyone can write everything by themselves but have some spine and admit that. Not just scam your fans and take the money. You have been transparent and honest with your sponssrhips, ads and other deals so you have your subscribers respect.
agree!
I think some people use the word fatphobic because they are not as secure with themselves as they like to portray. Tess holliday even attacked a fan of hers because the fan lost weight and posted happy pictures about her journey. So Tess unfollowed her and called her fat phobic even when the fan complemented her and said she had to lose weigth for her health. Taking care of yourself and losing weight has nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. I'm losing weight right now and being overweight limits me. Sure I don't have diseases associated with obesity but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I notice I have backpains and I'm not as flexible as I used to be when I was skinny.
You shouldnt tell someone they have to loose weight. Its none of your buisness, I'm sure the overweight person already knows that and its no one elses problem except theirs. Don't give advice that isn't asked for.
@@Xplreli I think the fan was telling Tess Holiday why she herself had to lose weight not telling Tess to lose weight.
@@Xplreli when obese people stop putting a strain on the NHS obesity treatment increased 18% in 2018 there were 617,000 obesity-related admissions in total in England of which 10,705 were directly for obesity treatment such as bariatric surgery
Unless there's a mental or physical condition impacting people to lose weight they need to take accountability and stop making excuses we dont encourage smoking or drugs or binge drinking so why should we encourage rampant obesity
Thanks for your comment, it was a useful observation. I looked it up online and it was very interesting to read.
I love that you just emanate this aura of self acceptance and self growth and it's really really lovely. It inspires me a lot. Like I've only just turned 20 and I already feel like I've got a good head on my shoulders and enough self worth to battle the world when they doubt me. Still working on trusting my own abilities and skills....but if anyone else tries to put down my abilities I get very defensive and suddenly believe in myself but other times it's less so...its strange. But I'm glad I've learned to love myself enough to fight for myself and to stand up for me. So yeah just proud of myself. And wanted to thank you for helping reaffirm me in my life kinda, haha 😁
I cannot help but feel a bit angry that someone can actually assume that you are fatphobic - I mean - do they actually watch your videos? You are the most amazing body positivity influencer that I know of - and the best influencer (in my opinion) in general. I simly do not understand haha. We love you💚
My exact thoughts.
Tbh, I think many people just throw in really random comments (without actually thinking that of the influencer in question) when asked for "assumptions" when someone is intending to do this type of video.
I agree. I’m fat myself and Melanie makes me feel good about the body I’m in and motivates me to love me for what it does and its strength rather than what people want it to look like, and she alwaaays motivates me to eat cleaner. Keep doing you, Melanie 💚
I can understand how this assumption could come about, though it is not necessarily my opinion about Melanie Murphy.
There are differences between the concepts of body positivity, body confidence and Health At Every Size, though they all overlap and intertwine. I think this is important to understand first.
The body positivity movement was started by fat black women and femmes as a space free from conversations about health, aesthetics, beauty ideals and weight stigma to celebrate the most marginalised of bodies - fat, superfat, black, brown, all colours, scarred, disabled, chronically ill, and the myriad of other ways in which human bodies are deemed unworthy by society.
Body confidence can be an element of or a result of internalising body positivity, but it is not the same thing: You do not have to feel confident or positive about your body in order to be body positive, aka to celebrate all bodies and believe that all bodies are worthy of the same respect.
HAES is a medical model based on the substantial scientific evidence that body weight or BMI are wholly insufficient and ineffective markers to determine an individual's health status. It does not mean that everyone is healTHY at every size, it simply recognises that health-promoting behaviours (not smoking, moderate alcohol consumption, good diet and regular exercise being the main behaviours) are a far better indicator of health that weight. It therefore follows that an individual in a larger body may be far "healthier" than a thin individual, if the former partakes in more health-promoting behaviours (cf Dr Laura Thomas' instagram for the recent study on health outcomes of these behaviours in different weight categories).
Melanie is without a doubt an advocate for body confidence, which is fantastic and hopefully helps many people.
The assumption that she is fatphobic may have come about because she does not adopt a HAES approach - for example, she attributes her poorer quality of life to "being overweight" instead of to the lack of health-promoting behaviours that she practised during that time. Of course, a lack of these behaviours can (and did for her) lead to weight gain, and implementing them can lead to weight loss, but weight status is a byproduct of these behaviours, not a determinant of health itself.
It could also be argued that true body positivity, especially when infused with the science backing up the HAES approach, does not allow room for intentional weight loss, which Melanie often speaks about. This does not mean that health is thrown out the window in these approaches, it simply means that, if an individual wants to make an effort to improve their health, they can change their behaviour without dieting, restriction or over-exercise, so without pursuing weight loss. Whether weight loss occurs as a result of this behaviour change or not is irrelevant.
I believe that, the fact that Melanie does not adopt a HAES approach, is not fully educated in the true meaning of body positivity and often mixes up "body confident" and "body positive" in her messaging could have led to the assumption that she is fatphobic.
In my own opinion, Melanie is simply not yet educated in the terms that she often uses, which is problematic due to her large following, but doesn't mean that she is fatphobic. It seems she hasn't yet been able to completely reject diet culture and society's messages about what constitutes health and beauty, but that is a very long and arduous unlearning process for anyone and not something she deserves to be shamed for.
@@oliviadent970 I couldn't have said or explained it any better! Thank you so much for your effort to make things clearer and explain these concepts.🙏
I love your videos btw, Melanie. You're one of my all-time favourite influencers out there.💚
@@beadc7627 i think people just minsunderstood the comments she made about Tess Halliday being on the cover of a magazine
I would love a spiritualism/video about what you think about death and everything! Loved this video as always :) 💚
I assume you're a lovely person.
don't worry lass you're honestly one of the most body positive youtubers out there ❤
Whenever you explain your views and things I find myself just nodding in agreement and just like learning about myself. The whole time you were talking about self love, I was just like "damn it, you know what Melanie!? You got me there!" 💚
While watching this, I stopped the video and poured myself a glass of red wine.
same
Cranberry juice.
It's not that I'm PROUD of hating myself, it's just that saying it and joking about it takes a bit of the weight off of it.
Exactly
sure i get it, just remember you hear it, everything you say to yourself has an impact on you even without realising it
You're such a healthy influence on young people today among all the influencers today who are not relatable to most and who are only into themselves :) you're great!
@Supernaturally American The U.S and Europe will never be like that ever again so... Too bad for you!
@Supernaturally American I'm happily married and have a dog! Thanks so much ;)
Supernaturally American aww look at the sad little incel!
I loooove you Melanie, whenever i have a bad moment and i lose motivation and confidence i watch you and i feel like anything is possible again. I lovelovelove listening to you. You inspire me, girl!
You are honestly my favourite youtuber. Your videos are inspiring and you're a role model for everyone regardless of their age.
It's so amazing to be able to watch a youtuber who speaks about bisexuality, self-love and things that others don't feel comfortable talking about.
I also have a love hate relationship with alcohol but I think I'm going to try and go by your 2 drink rule. Although I rarely drink when I go out after a drink it's so hard to say no - especially when everyone else around if getting smashed.
I'd love to sit down and just talk to you for hours about everything and anything! Can't wait to read your book. x
I think that not feeling /able/ to love yourself is probably one of the reasons why people turn it into something they're 'proud' of, or something that's 'cool' in the #relatable way. I think that sometimes, if a problem you're having feels insurmountable, you just make it part of your outward-facing identity; you can't make it go away, so you find a way to get a sort of (hollow) satisfaction from that problem rather than it just making you miserable.
I know I did that with perfectionism - I was too young to realise how to overcome that drive, or that I even /could/, or sometimes even that it wasn't serving me well. So I just embraced it all the harder, because that made the negative sides of it - the misplaced self-worth, the fear of failure, all that super fun stuff - easier to accept.
Also, thanks for emphasising self-love without falling into the trap of shaming people who aren't there yet!
(I don't think self-love is something I personally struggle with, but all the same it strikes me as paradoxical - and sometimes just downright unkind - when people go 'YOU SHOULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF', all the while making the recipient feel /worse/.)
I love that you love yourself. I wonder why people may assume that's a bad thing. Love is very important, you have to love yourself before loving others. Never stop loving yourself, Mel. You're great. 😍
Off topic but your hair looks amazing! Super full, thick and glossy
I feel like you're a down to earth every day lass no airs and graces you and jessie are so close as we all know and you're proud of where you come from and your heritage and who you are
Hey Mel, thanks for sharing so much of yourself on the internet. I really admire your strength and courage. You inspire me to be more vulnerable in my own life, so thank you 😊💚
Thank you for being vulnerable and filming this! Also, would love to see a video on your beliefs!
As a girl who's about to turn 20, I am excited for the future decade of my life. And although I've been struggling with the self-love thing lately, this video reminded me that I deserve to be loved by me and that I shouldn't feel ashamed for working on that. Thank you, Melanie
as a fan of both melanie and kassie, i love their friendship so much omg
Melanie, I flippin love your brain. your mind is just fantastic. People will allllllwwaaayyysss have assumptions (it can be frustrating depending on what they are) but YES girl, you're so true to YOURSELF.
I work on an oncology/hospice unit. Tonight one of our regular patients whom we have all grown so close to told us that he will no longer continue chemo. Then we admitted another patient that hasn’t been back/ “in remission” for almost a year and his cancer is back with vengeance. Dealing with death and dying every week has opened my eyes that death is quite literally a part of life and no one is exempt to it. Many of our patients are 30-50 years old. I Would love some encouragement about death and dying, it does get to be quite frustrating seeing strong independent individuals decline quite quickly. Love your videos ❤️ Keep talking about the hard things, it makes a difference dear 😘
This was really refreshing! I appreciate your honesty about your beliefs and openness on "taboo" subjects. Xx I'm happy you're in a better place now
I’m just loving your content so much at the moment! It just feels like you’re really being you which stands out so much in a feed that feels full of people who say the same things, like the same stuff, and have the same style. You are fab 💚
It's a pleasure listening to you. Keep loveing life and enjoy yourself not always easy, don't get into what others think too much of you. You can only be you
"I wish teenage me could have met me now" ... so much same. I relate to your videos so much and I am so happy that I found you
I'm the EXACT same about aging. I also went through a lot in a short space of time, also in my late teens and early 20s, and to boot I spent most of the years before that dealing with untreated anxiety. I definitely don't fetishize my youth, lol. I'm deeply scared of death, and I'm scared to lose people down the road too, but I mean... I also know that you can't spend your life in fear of those things. You just can't. It'd consume you whole and you'd never truly live. And there's SO much exciting stuff to do in the meantime.
Great video! I loved that you explained your answers instead of just telling us whether the assumptions were true or false.
Would you consider filming a video talking about your favourite books and what you like to read, what you liked to read as a child, which genres do you prefer etc? I'd like to see something like that in whichever format you find would best suit you, whether it is "10 favourite novels" or just chatty GRWM talking about books...
@@TheGirlHub I'm going to try to find those, thanks for letting me know! I went through her older videos (I'm following her for almost two years now so I was searching among the older ones) but probably not carefully enough. If it was a long time ago then it wouldn't hurt to have an update right? :)
Don't ever call your ability to cry at beauty pathetic, it's part of being a sensitive person and more people need to realise this and celebrate it. Great vid 🙌
Some of these assumptions are shocking. You are the last person I would call fatphobic. Like, where have they been?
You’re such a beautiful soul. We honestly need more people like you, you’re such a role model for soo many individuals❤️
Honestly, Melanie, I think there are so many people out there who just threw RANDOM comments at you. So many of these 'assumptions' are OBVIOUSLY wrong to anyone who's been watching you for a little while. NO ONE of your actual followers would ever think that you of all people were fatphobic (and that is only one of many totally ridiculous assumptions that were thrown at you here.)
you radiate strength, which for me, while I'm struggling with anorexia and feeling very small, is very inspiring to see. Thank you. I look forward to feeling my own strength as well.
Alsooooo Mel, astrology comes with an entire chart. It’s not just your sun sign, it’s all the planets and the moon and whatnot as well. Many of those placements will not be the same as your sun. So, yes, you will relate to traits in other signs’ descriptions, because they’re all apart of you, just to varying degrees.
I just love you even more after watching this video. How I wish we could be friends irl. You're such a lovely and amazing person, and I agree with you on so many things! 💚💚
I'm so glad I found your channel last summer - you always seem to find the right words and make me feel more positiv, if that makes sense :)
I love how open you are and the body positivity. I'm still working on living with myself the way I am, some days are great, some are awful - but your videos definitely made a huge impact along the way
Thank you so much for this video, I’ve had some bad situations recently and this video has made me really think about how important self love is. Keep doing what your doing you are fab 💕
You look so stunning in this video Mel. So excited for your next book. Woohoo love that you're so happy and confident with who you are - I hope I get there before I turn 30 in 2 years too.
Also, I have to say that I loved you as a ginger but dark hair suits you so much, like combined with your green eyes It looks like you could be a character in GOT, does that make sense? Lol
Anyways, you're beautiful. Lots of love 💚
Marina Leal agreed! I miss her higer hair but i think she suits dark hair so well and it makes her look so classic and beautiful
Melanie is such a role model, I just can't 😍❤️
Mel you look so beautiful, healthy and happy and it makes me so happy thank you for another fab video 💚
I love your content over the last while in particular. We're around the same age and I never understand why people worry about getting older. This is the best time of my life and only getting better. I'd love if you made a video about productivity with a self love slant. How do you balance self acceptance with achieving big goals like writing your novel and creating. How do you be self motivated and productive without getting your self worth all tied up in your productivity.
Not a question but I just wanted to say I was at the last HP Studio Tour event & heard someone with an Irish accent pass me in Diagon Alley & that's how I found your channel
So glad I did. You've quickly become my favourite UA-camr & it's just an added bonus to get some Wizarding World content/references sometimes 😂
❤️
You look so nice in this video! Skin looks amazing and your top suits you so much, love it!
I’m a minute into this video and I just already love it. Thank you for always being so real and transparent ♥️
I love how you express yourself and are genuine ....everything !! New subbyyy
Hi Melanie! I just wanted to leave a comment to say how refreshing I find your videos. I see you comment on other UA-camrs’ videos with such warm positive messages and I love it 💚
You're such a leo ;) I liked that video with you and Jessie talking about zodiac signs, I'm into it but could completely understand going the other way as well. I think of all the people I've seen do this tag I really didn't have to guess your answers, you're more straight forward 100% of the time so we already kinda know, but I enjoyed
Loved how honest and real this was! Thank you Melanie :) I'd be curious to know what people would say about me... It's such an "interesting" experiment!
Find it so interesting that you'd feel much more confident at a family party than with strangers as I'm the total opposite!
Mel, film any kind of video and I'll watch it. Literally. I mean it. I love hearing your thoughts on anything!
Yes for death positivity! I really have realized how people try to avoid that topic, but it happens to everyone and not communicating about subjects that go around it just complicates things. Let's talk about menopause in a positive way, let's talk about how wrinkles are not a flaw and how people should tell their loved ones what to do if the worst happens.
Your skin looks radiant! Can you do a micro needling video? I just had my second treatment and I feel like it's getting so much better!
I'm almost 30, and I feel the same way about my 30s. I can't WAIT.
Also, I don't want kids, but I totally understand that people do. Both stances are totally valid, and I'm sorry you get shit about it. I wish more people respected that other people know what they want for themselves!
@Supernaturally American Good thing I also fooled my partner and the the doctor who took out my fallopian tubes :)
Supernaturally American no one cares mate
People used to tend to get more conservative as they got older because they got richer and started protecting their property over the safety of others. That's NOT okay. Bernie Sanders didn't do that, his record has been straight for decades. As for astrology, it isn't supposed to go strictly off your sun sign, have someone read your birth chart! There are 12 houses governing 12 main issues and you can have a different sign for each one. Your North Node indicates your life purpose and your South Node the comfort zone you have to leave behind.
💃💃💃 I really love and respect your honestly Melanie. It's so refreshing. X
Please do a video about death and spirituality. I experienced grief for the first time at the end of 2018 and it's changed my life. I would love to hear what your thoughts are because you always have a refreshing perspective on important issues
I assume you are one of the most amazing people so you are one of my fave youtubers.
:D
Please get into anything spiritual !!! Express yourself in anyway you want, this is your channel and we love you💜💜💜💜
You look so glowing and healthy! The deep red really suits you :)
💃🏻
loved the video, Melanie! I also really appreciate how open you are and impressed how you handle some of the more uncomfortable assumptions.
Was looking for something to watch while i had my coffee then got this notification 💯 ❤️ love you Melanie😌
Oh Melanie I just adore you videos. Your energy is captivating ❤️
Not sure why, but this video got me thinking about life. I just want to say thank you for sharing what you have. You have been a huge inspiration for me to get my shit together and start loving myself.
Just love how real you are 🙌🏼 x
As a fat person on Their weight loss journey I come to your channel because it makes me feel very safe and loved and understood ❤️ so I really don't get how anyone would get the fat phobia thing from you
Single people just love it when people in relationships flaunt it in their faces.
Love it. Love it. Love it.
"I have cried over seeing a cute little bird" omg I can relate, first time I saw the Pixar short film Piper I cried bc I loved that little buddy so much 💜
As someone who has an eating disorder background and is overweight I find it hard to watch youtubers/influencers that focus on fitness even if it comes from a positive place
And you are one of the few people I can watch without the worry of triggering something so I don’t agree with the fatphobic comment (if that means anything)
Beautiful as always! Really enjoyed this video and I feel like I know you a bit more now even though you usually open up a lot to your internet family anyways, thank you❤️❤️❤️
💃 I’d enjoy a video about spirituality/atheism/beliefs. I always find those sorts of videos fascinating (much in the same way that I find it fascinating to think about my own views/beliefs and why they are the way they are). Also, I don’t think the person who assumed you were fat-phobic knew what they were talking about. You’re one of the people I immediately think of when I think of “body positivity” as well as health and living a healthy lifestyle. You’re one of the UA-camrs that actually inspired me to live/eat healthier, but also to love myself regardless of size/weight/etc. 😊💕
Love your hair this dark ❤️
Love your videos so much, you’ve helped me feel better about certain situations I’m recently out of a really toxic relationship ❤️
No, it's not wrong that you said being overweight affected your quality of life. I'm overweight currently and it does affect things, unfortunately just the facts. You seem very body positive to me!
Although I'd wager it's incredibly common, it's still always surprising to me when people are closer to one of their parents than the other. My closeness with my parents is (and has always been) so balanced between the two, it's easy to forget that that's not everyone's experience - even people who have /good/ relationships with both.
I'd love to know how you found contentment in your small town. I feel like I struggle between wanting to live in a big city but also wanting a low key life in a small town lol
Yay you answered my question! I forgot I sent it 😅😂 also I completely agree about the laughing at anything thing, I'll laugh at anything dark, people take themselves too seriously sometimes :)
your me time journal has helped me loads
Lmao the first assumption is some snow flakey bs.
You're lovely!! Thank you for making my lockdown better :*
I am honestly shook that someone would call you fatphobic like you are so body positive! its crazy
tweet out for fans of yours who make music of those genres you like, feature their music in your videos, credit them, and never have to use royalty free music again! contrapoints does this and it's refreshing to hear different music in every video you'd have never heard of otherwise.
wow!! you’re looking amazing, melanie🧡
ps... what top are you wearing it’s lush xx
If me congratulating someone on their weight loss they've been working on is considered 'fat phobic' then I guess I am. It's amazing to be comfortable in your body and you can do that at any size but, for a lot of people, their quality of life (physically) decreases when they're overweight, which makes perfect sense and I think it's an amazing achievement to make healthy life-style changes to get yourself to a weight you feel healthy and happy at; I will always congratulate people for this. You shouldn't feel ashamed for losing weight, just like you shouldn't feel ashamed for gaining weight. Although I do understand that weight loss done in an unhealthy way, for the wrong reasons, is a different matter and should not be encouraged in any way.
The dating thing is just ridiculous. I can't help which types of people I'm attracted to, I literally have no control over it. If someone is morbidly obese, chances are it will be harder for me to be attracted to them. I wouldn't say it would never happen, because I just don't know who I'll end up falling for before I get to know them, but from my past record it's unlikely. There's nothing wrong with this; especially when you consider that plenty of people are predominantly attracted to plus-sized people. Who you're attracted to isn't a choice, you can't force people to do it.
@@emmaduffy721
I agree with you about the definition she read out, I guess it's pretty open to interpretation. I made the point because I've seen a fair few people online that shame any kind of weight loss in others, even if it's done for health reasons, because they feel it devalues the body positivity movement to want to change yourself in such a way. I don't agree with this.
And yeah of course thin doesn't mean healthy
The congratulating someone on their weight loss isn’t so black and white. It refers more to pointing it out without thinking or not really knowing the person because it may unintentionally encouraging distorted eating. Shifting the focus from weight to more lifestyle stuff
And relationship stuff is more about ingrained discrimination or blanket statements like “I wouldn’t date someone with cellulite”
Most people are necessarily fatphobic but say/think that may be problematic (including myself)
Of course you shouldn't force yourself to date people you find unattractive, but questioning the beauty standards, Hollywood and the industry reproduce over and over again makes life much more rich and interesting. Finding beauty in old people (eases your own aging process for you), people who are considered being "ugly" in conventionally beauty standards... Even not just in people, but in animals (#adoptdontshop), food (placing vegetables, that don't look perfect in the supermarket instead of throwing them away...)... So I see many benefits in challenging yourself to find beauty in unexpected places, for yourself as a person as well as for the society.
Melanie could you do a video about your relationship with your parents? I'm also much closer with my dad but it sometimes makes me feel guilty that I'm not as close with my mom
you talking about happy crying is the cutest thing ever XD
Hey :) if you like rock/metal and classical music, and if you don't know them already, you definitely have to listen to symphonic metal bands like Epica or Nightwish. That brings me a lot of good feelings when I listen to it!
My relationship is the same with alcohol. In my past did lots of stupid ass shit, made mistakes and have the worse anixety drinking. it is very very rare for me drinking now. Amazing video Melanie. Ive followed you forever and i am still here!
Please do a video about your music preferences
I love this video so much 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 💚💚 thank you so much for this
Daily or more?? How do you have the energy I'd be exhausted 😂
anna barnardwright Well Melanie exercises a lot and sex is a form of exercise
Love your videos so much! 😁
And, thank you because you reminded me about my cup of tea 😂
OMG , is a hufflepuff color themed me time journal gonna come out?? I need that in my life😍👌💚
Not wrong at all that you said your life was affected by being overweight we all know that its not good for your health and it definitely does not make you fatphobic you are always inclusive of everyone
This vid really helped me to feel more positive, thanks Mel 💚💕
First of all, personally, I think that it's absurd to call you - or actually anyone - "fatphobic" just for sharing your experiences of having been heavy and how losing weight improved your health and emotional/mental state, or even for believing that eating healthy and working out is important. Granted, I only just found your channel and only watched a couple of videos, I think mostly some of the more recent ones, but in those which I've seen that touched on the subjects of health/eating habits it did seem very balanced, there was nothing preachy about it, or anything condescending or anything of that sort, it really just came across as you sharing your own experiences and what works for you...
Secondly, it's so true, about the importance of self-love and also regarding sticking up for oneself and not letting people treat you poorly! And I also truly agree on the subject of enjoying life, the fact that you don't let such things as aging/the passing of time stop you from relishing all you have accomplished so far and looking forward to the great things yet to come (it's something I personally struggle with, as I often feel that life just passes me by).
And honestly, I also totally agree on the fact that sex, and especially the notion of women being open about actually enjoying their sexuality, is something that really shouldn't be a taboo, and it's good that gradually more people (again, especially women) are more confident about talking about this subject, even more so because ultimately there has just for a very long time been this huge double standard in society where it was perfectly acceptable for men to discuss their sex life, while women were (and oftentimes still are) called names and get stigmatized for even so much as talking about the subject in broader, more general terms let alone acknowledging that they happen to enjoy sex. (Yes, clicheés, stereotypes and double standards are something that majorly irritates me personally)
Oh and can I just say, I love that top - it's gorgeous, especially the color, it suits you wonderfully!