This is amazing advice and I couldn’t agree more. I had my BPD essentially put in to remission (unknowingly) for the better part of 8 years. One thing I feel compelled to add to this is to make sure once you have found passions and happiness within yourself and your own identity make sure to keep strong boundaries in place so that you don’t lose yourself. I made the mistake last year of letting my boundaries slip and was consumed by a toxic relationship which ultimately lead to my formal diagnoses of BPD at 33 and severe mental health regression. Feeling like I’m back to square one and not knowing who I am again. Probably one of the hardest parts of my journey yet is knowing how much hard work it took me to be in such an amazing and healthy mindspace and having it completely leveled in less than a year. Never again. Thanks for your video. It is refreshing to hear others speak about BPD recovery from the mind of someone who truly understands the challenges, not just because they have read it in a book.
After learning about borderline I’ve decided to file for a divorce. Having this disorder, even with DBT the illness is so deeply rooted I think that loving him means leaving him is the kindest thing I can do. And focussing on art making and taking care of pets and not considering another relationship.
I’ve heard that CPTSD and borderline share a lot of qualities… cause I’ve definitely wondered if I’m borderline but I’ve never been diagnosed (and I’ve been diagnosed with a lot 😂). Mostly in the idolizing - I totally get that. I always say I fall in love with my friends. They are perfect to me, I tell everyone about them, I shower them with love and attention, I buy them gifts etc. But the second they make me question if I can trust them, or if we get into a fight and they hurt me, it totally flips. They become the worst person in the world to me. Definitely been called cold and ruthless a time or two. For a long time I’d just say, “no I just don’t have space in my life for people like that, I value my peace”. But i definitely have awareness now that it is pretty cold of me to just cut people out of my life. And I don’t have many long term friendships to show for it. Relationships are harder for me to relate to that. I’ve always been avoidant in relationships, never obsessive, unless the guy made me chase him/earn his love. Then yes it totally consumes me. Whether I’m BPD or just have CPTSD - I feel yall 😪
People with CPTSD don’t typically don’t share the same symptoms as borderlines, although some do overlap. Generally the fears of abandonment, identity shifts, impulsivity and unstable moods and relationships aren’t seen in CPTSD. Dr Ramani has some videos of the differences about this if you’re interested in learning more about that. I’ve been diagnosed BPD now but after events last year was questioning if it was CPTSD. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD. Buy one get free 😪
Extremely helpful video. As someone with BPD, Cant express enough how much value your words hold as someone who truly understands it and manages it in a healthy way. Have watched every video (and notebook is out 🎉.)
I love how open and vulnerable this conversation is, I also feel like you articulate things that people don't know how to say, and that's truly amazing.
Whoa I’m so surprised on how recent this video is and in the time frame im in this phase of not knowing how to understand what’s wrong with me, genuinely not being able to afford therapy or else I’d definitely be in it, and suddenly struggling in my relationship that I haven’t gone through in the year and a half we’ve been together, and it’d say it’s my fault I’ve not addressed the shame I feel in myself for behaving in the worse ways, getting jealous over stupid things. I’ve gotten mad over nothing but having too much pride to put down the idiot mindset I had. I have an ego and it’s inflated at times and it shows. Deep down I’m really hurt and I’ve been spiraling for years in different circumstances and situations. I found this video after searching what happens after you call the mental health crisis hotline because I’ve been wanting to call but I’ve been afraid of what might happen because I don’t want to make a big deal of what I’m going through. I’m afraid of calling and having my troubles not big enough or important enough to listen to and I can only imagine getting pushed away like i always have been. My parents didn’t help in making sure to make me feel I’m allowed to feel emotions. I really need someone to talk to and I talked my boyfriends ear off and I couldn’t feel worse about it only because he’s listened to me genuinely caring for so long but I can sense he feels drained and defeated because he doesn’t know how to help me and I don’t know what to tell him or what to show him to let him know my needs right now. I want to go to therapy to learn more about who I am and why I behave and think the way I do. I’m very self destructive and all I can think of is feeling trapped lost and confused and not really having anyone to talk to about it. I feel a little better getting it out here and this being something I’m going to copy and paste to a new journal I started . Ive started multiple but never being consistent in writing in them. I think for now on I’ll write in them when I feel like I don’t have anyone I can talk to right now so I can later reflect and once I have someone I can talk to who might be a therapist who might guide me, I’ll have something to share with them
You got this! Don't give up on yourself. Take it a day at a time🙏 read the whole thing and I can totally relate to you. It will suck, it will hurt but you have to push through because the only way is indeed through!
Been diagnosed the last 2 years after years of a bipolar diagnosis... I have cptsd from the early trauma years and disassociate. Bpd has made so much sense now. It's horrendous too live with. Thankyou for sharing
Did find the video fantastic. I've never considered if I have BPD before, but the "abandonment wound" is there, and leads to the same Gollum behaviours you described. You explained the problems dead accurate, delivered the advice in a very clear and succinct way, and made the solutions sound approachable. Thank you for that. Looking forward to more!
I love your videos, they are really helpful🫶 but is there a way to make the audio more consistent? Sometimes it gets really quiet and its hard to understand
I know you are speaking from a professional (logic oriented) approach, but how about your spirituality? Did you decide to put that part away and consider it non-functional?
I'm currently in the process of interrupting a spiral, and as someone who has also made understanding BPD a passion, thank you lol bc I'm constantly researching and constantly trying to understand BPD, but as soon as I'm in the middle of a meltdown, it's like I forget everything. Even when I do remember it, it's like arguing with a toddler to get me to do what I need to do. I'm also a Cap moon, so the idea of making charts is revolutionary lol I appreciate you and feel seen. 🫶
This is amazing advice and I couldn’t agree more. I had my BPD essentially put in to remission (unknowingly) for the better part of 8 years. One thing I feel compelled to add to this is to make sure once you have found passions and happiness within yourself and your own identity make sure to keep strong boundaries in place so that you don’t lose yourself. I made the mistake last year of letting my boundaries slip and was consumed by a toxic relationship which ultimately lead to my formal diagnoses of BPD at 33 and severe mental health regression. Feeling like I’m back to square one and not knowing who I am again.
Probably one of the hardest parts of my journey yet is knowing how much hard work it took me to be in such an amazing and healthy mindspace and having it completely leveled in less than a year. Never again.
Thanks for your video. It is refreshing to hear others speak about BPD recovery from the mind of someone who truly understands the challenges, not just because they have read it in a book.
After learning about borderline I’ve decided to file for a divorce. Having this disorder, even with DBT the illness is so deeply rooted I think that loving him means leaving him is the kindest thing I can do. And focussing on art making and taking care of pets and not considering another relationship.
What a hopeless and selfish thing to do
@@J-kl8dm I’m sure my husband would disagree. I’ve put him through enough. It’s selfless.
As someone struggling w BPD I’m so grateful for these, very eye opening and so relatable. Thank you
You give me hope. Thank you.
I’ve heard that CPTSD and borderline share a lot of qualities… cause I’ve definitely wondered if I’m borderline but I’ve never been diagnosed (and I’ve been diagnosed with a lot 😂). Mostly in the idolizing - I totally get that. I always say I fall in love with my friends. They are perfect to me, I tell everyone about them, I shower them with love and attention, I buy them gifts etc. But the second they make me question if I can trust them, or if we get into a fight and they hurt me, it totally flips. They become the worst person in the world to me. Definitely been called cold and ruthless a time or two. For a long time I’d just say, “no I just don’t have space in my life for people like that, I value my peace”.
But i definitely have awareness now that it is pretty cold of me to just cut people out of my life. And I don’t have many long term friendships to show for it. Relationships are harder for me to relate to that. I’ve always been avoidant in relationships, never obsessive, unless the guy made me chase him/earn his love. Then yes it totally consumes me.
Whether I’m BPD or just have CPTSD - I feel yall 😪
People with CPTSD don’t typically don’t share the same symptoms as borderlines, although some do overlap. Generally the fears of abandonment, identity shifts, impulsivity and unstable moods and relationships aren’t seen in CPTSD. Dr Ramani has some videos of the differences about this if you’re interested in learning more about that. I’ve been diagnosed BPD now but after events last year was questioning if it was CPTSD. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD. Buy one get free 😪
Extremely helpful video. As someone with BPD, Cant express enough how much value your words hold as someone who truly understands it and manages it in a healthy way. Have watched every video (and notebook is out 🎉.)
Psychology student here. This was really interesting. Thank u for sharing.
This made me cry because of how true it is
Wow. I never thought of conditions like that. I assumed unconditional love was the ultimate thing. I never considered healthy conditions in love.
I love how open and vulnerable this conversation is, I also feel like you articulate things that people don't know how to say, and that's truly amazing.
Seriously thank you so much for the kind words 🙏🏻🥹
Whoa I’m so surprised on how recent this video is and in the time frame im in this phase of not knowing how to understand what’s wrong with me, genuinely not being able to afford therapy or else I’d definitely be in it, and suddenly struggling in my relationship that I haven’t gone through in the year and a half we’ve been together, and it’d say it’s my fault I’ve not addressed the shame I feel in myself for behaving in the worse ways, getting jealous over stupid things. I’ve gotten mad over nothing but having too much pride to put down the idiot mindset I had. I have an ego and it’s inflated at times and it shows. Deep down I’m really hurt and I’ve been spiraling for years in different circumstances and situations. I found this video after searching what happens after you call the mental health crisis hotline because I’ve been wanting to call but I’ve been afraid of what might happen because I don’t want to make a big deal of what I’m going through. I’m afraid of calling and having my troubles not big enough or important enough to listen to and I can only imagine getting pushed away like i always have been. My parents didn’t help in making sure to make me feel I’m allowed to feel emotions. I really need someone to talk to and I talked my boyfriends ear off and I couldn’t feel worse about it only because he’s listened to me genuinely caring for so long but I can sense he feels drained and defeated because he doesn’t know how to help me and I don’t know what to tell him or what to show him to let him know my needs right now. I want to go to therapy to learn more about who I am and why I behave and think the way I do. I’m very self destructive and all I can think of is feeling trapped lost and confused and not really having anyone to talk to about it. I feel a little better getting it out here and this being something I’m going to copy and paste to a new journal I started . Ive started multiple but never being consistent in writing in them. I think for now on I’ll write in them when I feel like I don’t have anyone I can talk to right now so I can later reflect and once I have someone I can talk to who might be a therapist who might guide me, I’ll have something to share with them
You got this! Don't give up on yourself. Take it a day at a time🙏 read the whole thing and I can totally relate to you. It will suck, it will hurt but you have to push through because the only way is indeed through!
Been diagnosed the last 2 years after years of a bipolar diagnosis...
I have cptsd from the early trauma years and disassociate. Bpd has made so much sense now. It's horrendous too live with.
Thankyou for sharing
Thank you for sharing your testimony 🙏
Did find the video fantastic. I've never considered if I have BPD before, but the "abandonment wound" is there, and leads to the same Gollum behaviours you described. You explained the problems dead accurate, delivered the advice in a very clear and succinct way, and made the solutions sound approachable. Thank you for that. Looking forward to more!
such good insight jimmy!
Thank you ☺️
I love your videos, they are really helpful🫶 but is there a way to make the audio more consistent? Sometimes it gets really quiet and its hard to understand
The sound on your videos is hard to listen to fading in and out. It might be useful to buy a microphone....otherwise your videos have great content.
I know you are speaking from a professional (logic oriented) approach, but how about your spirituality? Did you decide to put that part away and consider it non-functional?
I'm currently in the process of interrupting a spiral, and as someone who has also made understanding BPD a passion, thank you lol bc I'm constantly researching and constantly trying to understand BPD, but as soon as I'm in the middle of a meltdown, it's like I forget everything. Even when I do remember it, it's like arguing with a toddler to get me to do what I need to do. I'm also a Cap moon, so the idea of making charts is revolutionary lol I appreciate you and feel seen. 🫶