My Marriage Was Worse Than Hell For Almost 20 Years - Kholeka M

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  • Опубліковано 15 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 129

  • @EngineerYLShow
    @EngineerYLShow  2 дні тому +22

    TURN ON CAPTIONS FOR ENGLISH SUBTITLES!
    Vulnerability. Reflection. Decisive actions. That is what Kholeka represents.
    It’s a privilege to have you come back and enjoy our episodes time and time again. Even if you’re new, welcome.
    We are on a mission to reach 100K changed lives, kindly subscribe and leave your comment of support. It means a lot to us 🙌🏿

    • @shironjuguna5853
      @shironjuguna5853 День тому +1

      @EngineerYLShow as an international viewer, you've earned a subscriber because you've made provisions for us who are following but can't understand vernec! I wish other SA podcasts would follow this!

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  6 годин тому

      @@shironjuguna5853Thank you so much ❤

  • @ozzaM22
    @ozzaM22 День тому +34

    37 and very much single and I refuse to lower my standards I would rather die single than allow a man to disrespect me yho! I'm always told I am unlucky with relationships phofu kutsho ladies ezibekezeleyo and settled for mediocrity all in the name of being in a relationship😢 nka loma engineer your life😂 great work Lungsta🎉❤

    • @leahlinki5683
      @leahlinki5683 21 годину тому +3

      I'm 55 and I feel exactly the way you do! 😊😊😊😊

    • @wpp1586
      @wpp1586 19 годин тому

      I hope you don't have kids either.

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 5 годин тому

      I agree with you. DO NOT COMPROMISE SIS. Been married for 29 years and I support you 110%. You must never!

  • @mslettiemathibe71
    @mslettiemathibe71 День тому +29

    Men are cruel 😢😢 3 kids later and so many years of marriage 😭😭😭😭
    He is so heartless 💔uSisi didn't deserve this treatment. He hated her and made sure to bury her identity.
    Im glad she is still fighting for her dignity and dreams. You can see she is still ambitious and lovely and full of life.
    May God bless her come up.

  • @thobilemditshwa8799
    @thobilemditshwa8799 День тому +22

    When she said I love Xhosa men, that hit hard coz nam I love my Xhosa women. Uxolo for everything you went through Sisi Kholeka. UThixo soze akubeke entlungwini without a purpose, find your purpose and you'll find fulfilment in your life. God bless you

  • @umthwebulimo
    @umthwebulimo День тому +25

    Lungelo is such a great listener and interviewer man 🫷🏽😔🫸🏽

  • @nelzg5819
    @nelzg5819 День тому +17

    She is so beautiful and well spoken. Ai amadoda who cheat suka man😢

  • @sindiswasizane344
    @sindiswasizane344 День тому +8

    She is relating the story so beautifully in isiXhosa❤, I almost feel like I know her personally

  • @CeeMotsoeneng
    @CeeMotsoeneng День тому +12

    Kholeka, you are beautiful and very wise. The wisdom comes from your experience. They made you a great woman you are. Please never believe any less than that❤️

  • @LorraineGumede-l3h
    @LorraineGumede-l3h 8 годин тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your journey sisi. I relate with your story a lot. I have 3 beautiful kids who are now young adults. Married at 24 and still in a toxic marriage for 23 years. Fear holds me back. I feel stronger now to walk away but i got retrenched in 2022 making it difficult for me to imagine life without an income. I do wish i can meet you and have a conversation and guidance. I would say 75% of your journey is my journey and it seems like narcists have a same script.

  • @LukeRev480
    @LukeRev480 День тому +5

    Kholeka being a career woman suits you. You look like a director or a successful business woman, your demeanor. I respect and love your inlaws bayaphila shame and they deeply care about the children. SengathiuThixo angabasikelela. It's a pity their brother is immatured.

  • @gugumkhwanazi9482
    @gugumkhwanazi9482 19 годин тому +3

    There's King for you out there beautiful QUEEN ❤. KEEP BELIEVING

  • @Cleo256
    @Cleo256 День тому +18

    I know her I didn't think she was going through so much....she's very strong and beautiful.

  • @palesapolette8168
    @palesapolette8168 2 дні тому +10

    Well spoken,beautiful interview

  • @Natalie_574
    @Natalie_574 День тому +2

    You will find the man who will love you effortlessly❤❤❤❤And You will be happy again❤❤❤❤

  • @christymwangi
    @christymwangi День тому +12

    Watching from Kenya. Kindly speak English for your International viewers.

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  День тому +13

      Turn on your subtitles. We allow our guests to freely speak their language so they are able to speak their truth, hence subtitles are provided.

    • @LukeRev480
      @LukeRev480 День тому

      ​@@EngineerYLShowEnkosi Lungelo

  • @FanelwaNgece
    @FanelwaNgece День тому +4

    Lungelo, you are great at your work. Keep it up Sir.

  • @Miss_Sir2
    @Miss_Sir2 День тому +4

    Beautiful interview Lungelo ❤

  • @matimbabaloyi2585
    @matimbabaloyi2585 2 дні тому +17

    She is beautiful

  • @Sunflower__Queen
    @Sunflower__Queen 23 години тому +3

    She is so pretty.

  • @kgotlelelotlaka1491
    @kgotlelelotlaka1491 День тому +8

    Joh why do i relate so much to her story 😢😢

    • @sibusiwengqwemesa9024
      @sibusiwengqwemesa9024 День тому

      Most men are abusive and controlling my sister that's why you are relating, most women went through zonke ezizinto azibalisayo lo cc especially xa ungasebenzi

  • @nthubekhi9068
    @nthubekhi9068 День тому +3

    Heish.. To think I struggled with the pain of not being married young. I really wanted to be a young wife only accepting recently that no being married young was just not for me, who knows maybe is for a good reason I did not get married young. Maybe just maybe...
    I wish this sister all the best. May the Lord continue to give her strength.
    In all honesty we have been conditioned to want marriage. We put it on a high pedestal but sometimes, it's just not it

  • @nompiloangelmakamo5414
    @nompiloangelmakamo5414 День тому +3

    Thanks Kholeka for sharing your story, don't beat yourself up for staying longer anyway you won 3 beautiful childrens,may you find healing,you right we ignore red flags sometimes it's not because of society but we believe that we are good people will take care of them and there's no way they wouldn't change or not treat us right.

  • @judysharon864
    @judysharon864 День тому +4

    You are viewed internationally kindly make it easy for us not to miss a word by translating your native language to English. Much love from Kenya

    • @nobukhosimczebra
      @nobukhosimczebra 19 годин тому

      @@judysharon864 turn on your subtitles dear.They allow visitors to speak their language so they can be free and express themselves well

    • @sunflawa
      @sunflawa 13 годин тому

      they did translate... turn it on

  • @lesley_lezley
    @lesley_lezley День тому +2

    Imagine struggle love on such a beautiful woman.

  • @gugumkhwanazi9482
    @gugumkhwanazi9482 20 годин тому

    Sister, I've been there. I'm shining better than before. Before gold becomes gold, it goes through a lot of processes. You're shining, and you'll still shone🎉. God is going to bless you more than you can imagine. Stay blessed.

  • @preciousnotico
    @preciousnotico День тому +4

    Turn on the CC to get the translation

    • @nikkiejonathan7514
      @nikkiejonathan7514 День тому

      @@preciousnotico where do we find it. I understand stand her but won’t like I took a Quick Look and didn’t see the CC maybe these other people don’t see it . Please share

  • @AsandaGora-o4y
    @AsandaGora-o4y 18 годин тому

    Beautiful interview keep up the good work😊😊

  • @faithdalasile102
    @faithdalasile102 2 дні тому +12

    Ohhh my I'm late, I love it here. Why is she familiar 🤔🤔

    • @Cleo256
      @Cleo256 День тому

      ​@@rinaesengani correct

    • @Winterflowers1
      @Winterflowers1 День тому +3

      I think she was on madam speaker podcast

    • @faithdalasile102
      @faithdalasile102 День тому

      @@Winterflowers1ooh ja recently I remember now I was just wondering.

    • @francinahmolosiwa2087
      @francinahmolosiwa2087 23 години тому

      ​@Winterflowers1 Yes she was at madam speaker podcast. Is she now going to do interviews with all Podcasters 🤔

  • @thuliramolefe1960
    @thuliramolefe1960 22 години тому +1

    It's so telling of the person he is if HIS family is telling her to check thoroughly

  • @annecalep5966
    @annecalep5966 День тому +2

    I love following this podcast but don't understand the language so will sign off here.

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  День тому +7

      Did you turn on subtitles? It’s fully translated

  • @HloiMollo
    @HloiMollo День тому +2

    Kholeka is so beautiful. That man lost a gold

  • @Ngunikaz
    @Ngunikaz 2 дні тому +3

    Keep pushing , if u made it , you can

  • @sepakimelbourne6657
    @sepakimelbourne6657 Годину тому

    Eish can't continue with listening to this 😢😢😢😢😢😢I am scared of abuse n.....

  • @LethoHali
    @LethoHali 23 години тому

    1:03:24 yooo! Only realising now that this is the same lady who went to madam Speaker! 😂 oh my days.
    Love how this interview got different information ℹ️.
    All the best cc!

  • @hlengiwehadebe_
    @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому +1

    I’m deeply sorry for what you went through. Getting married young can easily make you persevere wrong situations becoz of being inexperienced. Ayi ke Yoh the abuse you went through during your pregnancy 💔 no one deserves being in pain whilst pregnant

  • @gugumkhwanazi9482
    @gugumkhwanazi9482 19 годин тому

    Indeed sistaz. U Thixo yena, uyabonelela BBBBIIIIIGGGG TIME. HE DID IT TO ME, HE'S STILL DOING IT TODAY ❤. AMEN

  • @dkmolebatsi5387
    @dkmolebatsi5387 20 годин тому +1

    That men didnt love u but not only you but didn't love his kids either .What kind of a Monster he is.Our Parents also this thing of Men are to be listened to yo.Yes Respect but we need to work together be companions. Sorry Babes.Lungi thanks for all this it's an educational journey to other woman who are going through the same❤

  • @HloiMollo
    @HloiMollo День тому +1

    I need to come and relate my story

  • @nondumisotundube8616
    @nondumisotundube8616 День тому +2

    Such a beautiful a lady bethuna

  • @MBINGATATI
    @MBINGATATI День тому +2

    Started in English and switched to local language midway 🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️lost us

  • @gugumasuku4808
    @gugumasuku4808 21 годину тому

    Man can change, break you, and make sure that you are nothing and end up asking yourself if there's something wrong with you.

  • @NomsaDube-v6f
    @NomsaDube-v6f 19 годин тому

    Now he is no more and I'm crying for him im really confused how can i cry for him

  • @Miss_Sir2
    @Miss_Sir2 День тому +3

    I’m so sorry sis about what you went through.. 💔. I’m struggling to understand how the pregnancies came about kule misery that you’re talking about, unless there were happy moments that were not mentioned.

    • @hlengiwehadebe_
      @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому +4

      Unless you’ve never been with a narcissist before you wouldn’t understand 😊

    • @Miss_Sir2
      @Miss_Sir2 День тому

      @ utsho nhe? So there are usually happy moments in between? I’m not being disrespectful with this comment ndibuza nyani

    • @hlengiwehadebe_
      @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому +1

      @@Miss_Sir2 no. There aren’t happy moments

    • @siphokaziluzipho4197
      @siphokaziluzipho4197 День тому

      I'm sure there are no happy moments wethu, but men will sleep with their wives while abusing them emotionally.

    • @PhumeleleKunju-ud5iq
      @PhumeleleKunju-ud5iq День тому +1

      You don’t need to happy to have sex

  • @amow_mee9488
    @amow_mee9488 Годину тому

    Imagine he took you out of your comfortable life only to mistreat you😩I’m 21 and the way i fear men and marriages yoh.

  • @Cathrine-v9n
    @Cathrine-v9n 2 дні тому +5

    Road to 100K

  • @sibusiwengqwemesa9024
    @sibusiwengqwemesa9024 День тому +4

    Ohh my sister you've been through a lot yhoo and kubuhlungu cc ukulawulwa yindoda and iba worse xa ungasebenzi ivele iku controle ngeendlela zonke...ngxesi cc wam ❤❤❤❤ azilibaleki sana tuu but as time goes on uzobaryt my sister

  • @gugumkhwanazi9482
    @gugumkhwanazi9482 20 годин тому

    Educating story. There are people asking English from interviews. There's a transcript that's in English!!! Bethuna 😂

  • @headmanhebe6963
    @headmanhebe6963 20 годин тому

    Losisi went through a lot. I am glad she is out of hell because she deserves better... I like the fact that she still believes in love and marriage.... I do too. Nam ndiyaya game two, emtshatweni.
    Certainly, most of us, not just women, tend to ignore the red flags... Maybe, we are too naive or we are desperate to make the marriage work. Kodwa ke, mna I do not do that anymore. Please never ignore the red flags, they usually show up very early in a relationship and, trust your gut and be prepared to walk....

  • @Wanguicathy
    @Wanguicathy 23 години тому +1

    Good conversation but the native language is very disruptive to US from other countries especially us that prefer to listen in as we work and don't have time for captions

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  5 годин тому +3

      We are a proudly South African platform and our heritage will be preserved at all costs. Subtitles exist for that reason.
      Trust that is well explained. ❤

    • @Wanguicathy
      @Wanguicathy 5 годин тому

      @EngineerYLShow Ur pride and patriotism shouldn't limit international followers who love and follow you,if you wanted to speak in your native language u could have opened a fully native channel, learn to take Ur followers insights without overly seeming petty or rude in your replies uuuuuffff.

  • @wellavanqa5197
    @wellavanqa5197 День тому

    Mmmhhhh....I wonder if its not adv Baloi on the Senzo Meyiwa case🤔

  • @LethoHali
    @LethoHali День тому +1

    32:57 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

  • @NomsaDube-v6f
    @NomsaDube-v6f 19 годин тому

    Yhooo sista i know what you are talking about being there same situation

  • @bojangmekgwe3205
    @bojangmekgwe3205 2 години тому

    ❤❤❤

  • @LethoHali
    @LethoHali День тому +1

    Got married at 19 nam. And it lasted 20yrs. And yeah… it was hell (in hindsight 😅)

    • @HloiMollo
      @HloiMollo День тому +1

      Let's go and relate our stories

    • @LethoHali
      @LethoHali День тому

      @ let’s go 😆

  • @Noms-qe3hf
    @Noms-qe3hf День тому

    We go in to please people 😢

  • @francinahmolosiwa2087
    @francinahmolosiwa2087 23 години тому

    But this lady did interview with madamspeaker 🤔

  • @claireadhiambo3440
    @claireadhiambo3440 21 годину тому +1

    Is this show not for international audiences too😢....had to stop watching.....barely understood the foreign language

  • @phebvlymo2068
    @phebvlymo2068 День тому

    Not all of us are south africans please help us in english

  • @masandefuzile2261
    @masandefuzile2261 2 дні тому +3

    We Narcissists we love our kids.

    • @Winterflowers1
      @Winterflowers1 День тому +3

      That man does not love those kids, how does a parent let his kids go without basics such as food if he loves the kids

    • @ameliasmommyshazi7585
      @ameliasmommyshazi7585 День тому +4

      Why are you a narcissist thou what you guys gain from hurting other people 😢

  • @faithing88
    @faithing88 День тому +3

    This is what narcissistic abuse does to you YOU END UP looking and sounding crazy
    Get psychological help dear
    Your story is all over and its because of the psycholigical trauma, you sound mentally disturbed 😢

  • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
    @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому +1

    So this sister is perfect bcoz she never mentioned one thing she did wrong in this marriage, not even one thing. everything nje wena u did was perfect ayi no sister. Wena awu back chat, awudeleli, awumshayi, awumukhiyeli ngaphandle, u go as i travel agent and u come back ur husband is angry and ure asking urself why hes angry. Ay women stop it, this guy doesnt sound like a good guy but my sister uzenza u mother Theressa manje.

    • @Winterflowers1
      @Winterflowers1 День тому +15

      And then wena, is everything Ohk at home??

    • @sinethembamaseko5901
      @sinethembamaseko5901 День тому

      @@Winterflowers1ungaze umbuze or wazana ne husband maybe

    • @addie8397
      @addie8397 День тому +12

      Are you the ex husband??? 👀Such bitterness 😂

    • @hlengiwehadebe_
      @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому

      Such dense statements

    • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
      @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому

      @ i dnt understand wats tht suppose to do with the topic. im not attcking her im just stating my observation from the interview. this story is one sided and u expect everyone to just take wateva she is saying bcoz she is a woman?

  • @TheFinestKanye
    @TheFinestKanye День тому +2

    Ano English or mother tongue? Why start off with a language u can’t maintain? A waste of my 20 minutes!

    • @preciousnotico
      @preciousnotico День тому +2

      Turn on the CC to get the translation

    • @laniahg1292
      @laniahg1292 15 годин тому

      ​@@preciousnotico thank you 😊

  • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
    @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому

    Ur husband want to leave you and you blv he only married you bcoz he wanted a raise at work. all this sounds like the person you might be, who thinks like that?

    • @faithing88
      @faithing88 День тому

      She is not psychology there, she is disturbed. She is stuck at 19years, listen to how she speaks and expresses herself like an excitable 19 year old. She is a child mentally and it occurs when one is deeply hurt 😂

    • @hlengiwehadebe_
      @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому +5

      😹😹😹is everything okay at home??

    • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
      @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому

      @@hlengiwehadebe_ 🤣🤣🤣🤣 no everything is not alright at home i need your advice🤣🤣🤣

  • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
    @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому +1

    i bet you R1000 she once cheated on him bt she wont mention that part bcoz shez here to play victim. and you can tell she never really apologised properly bcoz she always plays victim. i really wish we had both sides of the story bcoz this doesnt make sense.

    • @dare2be520
      @dare2be520 День тому +14

      Ex husband we see you 😅

    • @michellekeitumetsi9950
      @michellekeitumetsi9950 День тому

      Exactly 😂😂​@@dare2be520

    • @hlengiwehadebe_
      @hlengiwehadebe_ День тому +2

      @emakhaya_salon HEAL😹😹

    • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
      @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому +1

      @@dare2be520 🤣🤣🤣🤣 blv wateva makes you sleep at night

    • @EMAKHAYA_SALON
      @EMAKHAYA_SALON День тому

      @@hlengiwehadebe_ 🤣🤣🤣🤣 this comment really hurt me i think i really need to heal, thanks 😂