My ex is dating another man but they quarrel all the time she is telling me whenever they quarrel she regrets why she is broke up with me.she is telling me whenever they are together they cannot be like two hours without quarrelling but she is pregnant for him
Hi Clay, need your help here. I’m not sure which stage my ex is in right now. We broke up 2 months ago. I’ve not done the no contact. I’ve apologized, pleaded, showing care, for the past 2 months and he was very reactive during first month. He chased me away when I went to visit. Second month he mellows down a bit, in tone of voice but still adamant in not patching back. I’ve been texting him this 2 months apologizing & explaining things, he reads my texts, but didn’t reply or replied coldly to certain tasks base topic such as getting things back or asking for his opinion on sports. Once a while he reacted to my texts like “why ask me? Why change now? I don’t need your help” Recently I tried changing topic to talk as normal, he reads but he didn’t reply. He said things like “I’m not your honey, not your baby” when certain times my text contains such word. Which stage is he in now and how should I go about it? 😔
What about a situation where we’ve been apart since 2001, but have mostly stayed in touch and gotten along well. We’re talking, hanging out, even spent the night together (no sex). It’s awkward at times and I’m nervous.
@@gabrielomollo1716 Hello there do you need help to bring back your ex manifest your s.p to be with your partner love 💕 permently know if you are with your soulmate within 48hours inbox father right away
I am so happy to announce that my wife and I are getting back together!!!!! We separated about two months ago. I’ve been watching Clay’s videos and following all of his good advice, and yesterday she finally told me her decision!!!! Clay, thank you so much for your incredible videos and your approach. My wife went through all of these 5 stages. It was incredibly difficult to keep the focus on high quality interactions and self improvement when I was being avoided and pushed away, but I kept being consistent. Clay, you’re a genius. Thank you so very much for saving my marriage!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wish everyone luck in getting their ex back. Today is 8 months into my break up and finally realized is over forever. The no contact has not worked.. we have spoken 4 times..she trapped me into telling her I wanted to get back together. .after she was talking about all the fun he had together over 17 years. Though it still hurts after 17 years just have accept the fact it's not going to happen. Good luck everyone. Thanks Clay for all that you do for us.
What I like most about Clay is that it feels like he’s just a friend giving you an advice. It doesn’t feel like he’s just reading his notes. He explains everything and just seems very genuine.👍🏼
Thanks so much, Clay! After 5 years together he moved out in Feb. his mother passed and of course I pushed for answers and communication but he’s an avoidant. Super detached. He responded saying he needed space and time to process things. So I’ve kinda given him time. I’ve screwed up a little bit but for the most part gave him time. He has half his things still here in the garage and keeps coming back to take a few things here and there. Last weekend he took me to grab my car from the car shop and he was really googly eyed and looking at me a lot. We talked and I told him I still cared about him and he said he did too. We hugged and told each court we loved eachother. He pumped up my daughters bike tire and talked with her for a bit. I don’t know what this means but it’s gotta be a good sign.
Happy to say that we're just entering the new beginnings stage. Keeping it zero pressure and just enjoying more and more time together. Thanks for all your sound advice and videos.
1. Wall of Reactance - Non communicative - High levels of reactance 2. Test Drive - Willing to talk to you - One or two word answers - Little depth 3. Riding the Dragon - hot and cold behavior - relate to their confusion 4. Crisis Point - your ex realizes they still have feelings for you - they may discourage you / test you - let them know you’re serious 5. New Beginnings - back together - have that conversation to seal the deal 😉
I've watched dozens of videos, and this is the first one that relates to my situation. Stage 2. We cared for one another greatly. And our mouths got us in trouble. Bad deal. But there's hope. Thanks
I hope 101 tips for getting your EX back on the horizon 👨🏻 Seriously, you are awesome Clay, when going thru rocky moments listening to you is very comforting. God bless❤️
I broke it off because I wanted her to get herself together she’s actually been taking steps . This video for me at the moment is spot on I’m in phase 2 .
My love has been riding the dragon since the break up... i got upset by it.. thank you for speaking into that - i have told him i care and love for him so much and i believe ive been consistent with expressing that i want to rekindle.. longest no contact has been 7 days ... no calls , just texts (2months of separation) after 1 year of beinh together every single day... he ended things saying i could do better cos i wanted marriage and he wasnt ready ... i dont know what to do now .. hes not responded for 4 days now 😢
I love these steps!!! So spot on and no other coach has any quite like these!! So helpful for me bc I think My ex is in the crisis step and it helped me figure it out
My ex broke up with me and so I went NC. After a couple weeks she called and said she wanted to work things out and was really loving and we agreed to come up with our expectations moving forward. A couple days later she started being cold like stage 2 where she’d just give one word answers. I asked her if she was still interested after a week of that and she said it was too soon to answer. I’m trying to connect with her but it doesn’t seem like it’s getting anywhere. She said she doesn’t want pressure, but outside of asking if we were still on the same page I haven’t pushed the issue.
My husband left me 18 mos ago. We were married for 35yrs. Together since teens. He has ran out of the country and won't talk. I sent emails for 17 mos. He read them but would only reply to some regarding business with only one sentence. I've finally given up and have gone into no contact. I still can't believe he did this.
I’m so sorry to hear this. That’s so heartbreaking, but I believe you will get through this and come out strong, and you will love again and be loved properly.
I smothered the guy I just started seeing because it had been so mutually, soulfully intense and then he got angry for not having space. So I totally did the wrong things, poured my heart out, chased him and he told me he needed space. So I have it to him, dropped contact and then a month later he said 'sorry for being rubbish, life gets in the way and I needed to check out for a bit, hope you're well?' I didn't know what to make of it, I'd been so heartbroken and I left it a couple days and replied 'it's been busy but I've benefitted from the space, -hope you're well too?' I think this might have been me with my defenses up - I didn't want to validate his dropping out like that. I still miss him it's been about 2 months now. Every day I debate whether to drop him a line, and what tone that should take?? Of course, I've been working through my issues and enjoying my own life too but, we kinda rushed itt and it would be so good to reconnect. How?!
You are describing the third stage (riding the dragon) we were going through for the last 2 weeks but now I’m hoping we can progress now to the 4th stage 😊 Clay… you explain everything so so well….. thank you 🙏
@ClayAndrews thanks for this video. How exactly do you work past the Riding the Dragon and showing them understanding of their concerns and moving it into next stage?
Hello Clay, I have to say that you are really good in what you do. I think you are the only coach on yt who actually explains the mechanism of a breakup into such details. After almost 3 months after my ex bf has left I have started to connect dots and understand why and what happened. It really requires a high level of empathy from you to describe all this human interactions so relevant. Thank you for your work. I wish I didn't come across your videos before my bf said that he need some space - maybe I would have saved our relationship instead of pushing on him. Best Regards from Croatia
These have been very encouraging videos! I was going to do no contact for possibly to long but you've encouraged me to see that reaching out after a shorter time would be a better move. My ex and I just started texting lightly but it feels more so on the better half of the "riding the dragon stage" not entirely sure if I should try to plan a meet up in person sooner than later in the next week. Her birthday is here soon so that also makes me nervous about seeming to pushy rather than wait till after her birthday.
He told me he cares about me but he won’t say he still loves me he says bc I will take it to far. I’m not sure what this means. 😢 we just broke up last month but he keeps trying to find reasons to reach out
What if she is the one who caused the break-up by cheating. Also how do I deal with the fact that she is now sort of in stage 2 but she still doesn't talk to me so we can't really have a conversation. I can talk to her about pretty deep emotional subjects but she just listens.
Hi GSF, I understand that this can be confusing, and that there are a lot of emotions that you have to process. It's totally normal to have mixed feelings about a breakup for your ex to feel guilty about ending things with you. She may not be ready yet to open up emotionally and talk about what happened, but she'll get there eventually. Give her time to heal from the loss of your relationship before trying too hard to reach out or make amends. Just be patient with yourself and with her-you've both been through something difficult, and it's only natural for both of you to need some time before jumping back into having that deep personal conversation again. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program course (www.modernlovbe.life/esp) ? We cover these process in depth inside the course and this might help you on your journey further. :-)
she broke up after 3 1/2 years to make experiences. i gave her space and went into meditation and spirituality to fix some broken abilities i had from my childhood. one month later she said she had sex with someone else because it was just easy going (we had troubles here for a long time) but she knows now, that she needs love to have sex. she says that she loves me more than anything and that i feel family to her but at the same time she feels free now. i try just to be there for her and talk to her but not in a pushy way, she still has her space but its hurting me a lot and messing up my good/bad energy. its like she/we went through 4 of those 5 stages in a single week now. its exactly 8 days that we have contact again, we met and talked a lot, cried a lot, opened up in a totally new way. she also hopes that we find back together but she feels lost and confused atm. what shall i do? :(
Sign Up For The Interest List For A Free Coaching Workshop At: www.modernlove.life/coaching-interest Please Share Your Thoughts So That We Can Make Something That You Truly Want - docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSemW2BXSk4-FcjLh2ma3vQ3XGbjIcVGkFMB3XkyREVx7LzsrQ/viewform
Hi Clay! I’m currently at the last stage. He’s been making the effort to go out with me. At our last meet up, he kissed me goodbye and said “love you”. I paused for a bit and said it back. Things have been going good. We’ve been at this stage for two weeks. I don’t know when I should have the talk about taking the next step. I think I’m scared of being rejected again if I were to bring up the talk. Any advice?
Doesn't it turn them off when u let them know constantly that u r serious about them? Doesn't it push them back? He reallyyy Doesn't want to talk about anything serious he makes no comments when i talk about deep emotions. I don't know he confuses me.
riding the dragon is getting quite disheartening .. as she only just entered it , every positive pull back seems to put us back into test drive . there is a lot of anger at me for changing myself after we separated . don't help that she is living with her rebound so our interactions are brief and only really when she is picking up or dropping off our children . all but one of them interactions have been positive.
Exactly. That is why you have to fully prepare yourself by strengthening the Advanced Relational Skills so you can navigate each phase and manage yourself and emotions better. :-)
honestly , they can get quite playful and flirty. she has said some odd stuff . like , out of nowhere she told me she was ok and could get an apartment easy. than later told me she wasn't moving . and then my kids have slowly wanted to be with me more . we went from joint custody to I have em 5 to 6days a week cause they would rather be with me .. just odd to me .. I thought I was the bad guy
I feel like me and my ex immediately went into stage 3. We are talking. Yes, she runs hot and cold and got real mad when she founs out i want on a date. Tonight, though I'm heading to her place to wrap presents. I'm taking the friends approach and just trying to maintain a connection.
umm i think im at the riding the dragon stage. he would send me little texts to get my attention again then lmk he does miss me. after we met up he is thinking maybe it was a mistake. has been distant since. he is telling me he is now "confused about his life' and "feels weird" it's been like 5 days of this :( i am just trying to respect his space n hope he comes back soon..
At what stage am I? she actually broke up with me yesterday and after some beg to at least be friends (that I regret) she been talking to me but she everytime that she wakes up she wakes up really cold and dry then after talking to her for a while later she is acting normally with me as if she was my friend but she is not flirty nor she says she misses us and stuff, she simply acts like a friend but suddenly later she is being dry and cold again, days ago she even asked us to be friends because things were not working but I insisted to continue one last time and she agreed but then when we broke up instead of wanting to be friends she just wanted to end everything and erase me from her life, even though I am ashamed of begging, that's where I am rn... so in which stage am I?
Very good video. I’m in stage 4, girl is in a rebound, and told me she’d call it off. Now she’s on a road trip and in crisis. I need to chill and keep doing what I’m doing.
Clay Andrews thanks. Do you just sit back and wait? Or do inquire as to if she did it? I mean we’re going for walks, hooking up, I’m definitely winning, but am trying to stay chill.
Update. The rebound didn’t stand a chance. Silly to be freaking out like we do. It’s haard to make a connection and she came back. Things are better than ever and I’m laughing at the other guy. She was recently divorced so giving some room was required. Don’t re-act, stay cool, and be the prize.
Omg ur amazing ur the first coach that explains Exactly what happens after a break up clay ur amazing u gained ur self a subscriber thank you so much i will b contacting u i think my ex us at the crisis point.
I need help...I left my husband 5 months ago because he consistently cheated on me and kept lying about it. I started to looking through his phones and kept seeing it.. I felt betrayed, my self asteem is at isn't lowest. I stopped listening to him and I was wrapped in my own pain. But no matter what is has done I can't seem to let him go. I still love him and want our marriage to work. What do I do?
Hi Clay I watch your videos everyday and you are totally different from other UA-cam coach. We broke up 6 months ago. Before we decided to officially break up, we did no contact for a month. Then he asked me to break up but still friend because I have a really good relationship with his family and friends and he said I was too good. We still go to the same gym, sometimes he picks me up. Besides when I asked him to go out for a walk or go somewhere with me he still agreed. Last week I came to his house. We made love, and he asked me to get back together and I said “we will get back together when you’re ready”. However the next day he asked me to stop acting like we still are couple and move on, “what happened yesterday was my mistake” he said that. He told me that he didnt want a relationship and he just wanna focus on his job right now and I had to find a serious relationship for getting married and settle down (he’s 23 and I’m 25). He doesn’t want me to be miserable. What can I do now? I’m so sorry for my bad English this is the very first time I leave a comment on a relationship expert channel. Thank you so much.
I just had the most emotional 2 weeks with an ex I work with. I took her for granted back in February and she left a couple weeks later in March for another coworker. It’s been 6 months, which is now September. 2 weeks ago they broke up and her and I work side by side. Well, I had to do some heavy begging by agreeing to kiss her boot publicly. That action that she never thought I’d do sparked a lot of good conversation and smiling from her. She was finally engaging again. She even went as far as telling me, she’d been thinking about what I did a lot. My actions spoke louder than words and it made her smile from ear to ear. Unfortunately she went back to this guy. They moved in together two or three weeks after our original split. Rumor is she tried to kick him out and because he moved in so quick he was homeless from the start. Where is he supposed to go if he never has a place to live when they first met? Now they are currently “relearning one another”. I chose to be forthright with her but now she’s become distant again. I even feel like I’m bothering her. I laid it out for her. That she’d better make sure she’s happy because I’d really like a second chance. I think I gave her too much power because on Friday at the end of the day, she told me to leave her alone. She’s either at stage 3, confused and thinking about things or I knocked myself back to stage 5, if not further. Either way, Monday should be a nightmare.
Is it possible to go backwards when we are currently at stage 4 ? She left me 2 months ago, she clearly says that she still loves me, she realizes more and more what she lost (in her own words) and she is ok having intimacy sometimes but she thinks we should still have no contact for the next weeks. She is not happy all by herself and being in love with me could prevent her, for now, to find happiness when she is alone because she wouldnt care about herself enough. I am ready to wait because I care about her needs and her healing process but I just worry that she moves on during this time. What should I do ? Should I show her that I am still here without being intrusive ?
It’s possible that we’re in critical stage but they’re not mentioned about maybe we should date another or you are too good like this ? But instead they act like I have to follow their command so if I’m don’t do that they can’t come back?
My ex is in a rebound relationship. He reached out to me three times during the time he was dating her. One of the times he said he still thinks of me sometimes and wonders what I'm up to. What do you think this means?
I’m currently dealing with a situation but we didn’t ended it on a bad note and we both didn’t cheat. She decided to say we both should be friends. We both work together and it was just a person who decided to throw me and her under the bus saying we both were dating due to her and my girlfriend having some issues with one another work related. I have things at her house and she didn’t mentioned anything about me coming to get my stuff. Also, when she said we both should friends, she wasn’t to upset towards me or anything. Hopefully we both can try to fix things to get back together. She definitely pushed me to go back to school and did a lot for me as well as me doing a lot for her. I just decided to not hit her up first to see where she stands.
Great content! I have a question/concern. I understand the notion of rebuilding a connection with your ex and enjoying and building on positive experiences. But shouldn't there be a conversation about what the goals or intentions are at some point? I'm asking because just because an ex reaches out, says I miss you or suggests to meet up still doesn't mean it's genuine or they don't have selfish motives. It could be ego or to keep you as a placeholder. How do you determine without having the convo? should you have the convo?
ex told me to never speak to him egain when I refuse to be freind with benefit with him nor have him as a freind and 4weeks later he came back telling me to not speak to him egain while I was in NO CONTACT and never reached him,what does that means? :o
Hey Clay,, love the vids they really help a lot :) my ex unblocked me yesterday after about a month and a half and she's been quite mean and indifferent towards me. We ended things in January and i made the mistake of begging. In February however she almost came back to me after we shared Valentine's Day together,, but then she decided against it. I dont know what to do and i hope you can help me :)
I’ve had pretty much the same time frame. We ended in January, I begged, and we started talking again on Valentine’s Day (she messaged me)... We were connecting really well, I could almost see us together again until I messed things up. Not only did I mess up any chance of reconciliation, I messed up my chance to be her friend. I was still focusing on the relationship, and not focusing on the connection we were spending together. It was selfish of me to do so. We haven’t connected like that since... We’ve talked but after that, she finally decided to cut me off. I’ve been stuck in Test Drive for 4 months, and no contact for almost 2 months. I should’ve acted sooner, but she’s happy with another man now. 🤷♂️ It would be awful of me to break the connection they have for my own goals. Hope everything goes well with you and your ex, maybe you’ll make better decisions than me, lol.
Heyy clay. im having a conversation with my ex this weekend. She wants to talk to me 1 on 1, i dont know what to expect. Do you know if this is 1 of these stages? Ty for making this video
Hi Damien, yes it could be one of the phases but of course, you still have to observe any consistent factors in your dynamics. Usually, if our ex slowly opens up with us, it starts with the Test Drive phase. But overall, we recommend to stay in the present moment and enjoy the time together. :-)
Thanks for the insight. We truly appreciate that. And part of moving forward is learning the life skills as it adds value as we reach a level of self-awareness. :-)
What to do if they’re both not talking to you, responding texts messages, but when you meet them personally they show also signs of the riding the dragon stage like confusion and mixed feelings?
My ex said goodbye to me for good last week but a few days later texted me to check in on me and told me that she wasn’t sure what she wanted and was still so confused. But then she said goodbye for good again a few days ago. She doesn’t want us to text again and to move on for good. It’s been so back and forth for the past month and a half and I’m not sure what to believe or what to do. I’m not sure how to make a connection with her if she doesn’t want to talk to me or even see me. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it!
Hi James, it sounds like your ex is emotionally confused and needs to sort what she really wants in a relationship. Will you be comfortable in taking this time to focus your energies towards your self for healing? Also, I would recommend that you check our video on 5 stages in getting back together.
@@ClayAndrews Yeah I’m finally understanding that I never really let her experience the breakup or gave her space to really sort out those feelings:/. And yes, in this time right now I’m focusing on myself and trying to be a better person than I was the day before. Since we’ve said our goodbyes, is this what the no contact rule is? Does she need to make the first move later down the road? Thank you so much for replying and giving advice it means a lot!!
Clay Andrews Your videos helped me pull through the 5 months of post break up & my ex bf came back to me during mid Nov telling me that he wants me back and he shared about his fears of about being a poor temper partner like his father, as well as his concerns about Covid19 impacting the travel restrictions (we didn’t have issue about long distance until Covid 19 hits). But we decided to give our relationship another try. We slept together the same day the came back to me but I did made it clear that I’m not into friends with benefits and asked him if we’re back into a committed relationship, he said yes. We went out 4 dates in the last 2 weeks but mostly I initiate them and his behavior was mostly cold and impatient. He doesn’t talk much except about his new hobby. He doesn’t text me with all the emojis like before. He avoided celebrating my bday on the day itself but still celebrates it during the weekend. When it is his bday he gave excuses that he’s busy on his bday and we celebrate it earlier. He did brought me to meet 3 of his close friends. But his behavior has been hot & cold. His entire family is against us getting back together. He said that he doesn’t feel the same way about me & the spark he used to have with me after going out 4 dates in the 2 weeks that we reconnect again. He just doesn’t feel like talking with me the way he used to because he doesn’t feel like it and his is unsure of what he is feeling, he just wants a break from this and be alone. We’ve had sex few times during this 2 weeks. He wasn’t cold in sex, it is still good. Clay, will you help me please? How can I make him feel the spark again? He is now back to neighboring country for work. My colleague also told me that she saw my ex bf (or should I call him bf again) is on Tinder. I haven’t confront him about tinder but I know if I do it now, with his heart not into me, things will be worse than now?
My bf started a rebound as he assumed I rejected him ended our love when he reached out to me wit regret , love after our 2nd breakup , he is a FA, he brokeup (took space for misunderstandings ,triggers few times , but came back within a month in my NC, eachtime we got mo closer) I texted him I didnt abandon him or end. He responded with care, but didnt msg yet or leave the rebound. Then I went NC. Then he is reaching out indirectly tru his friend (last month) & he came to see me (last week) to an even in our college as he knows Im there & had eye contact purposely few times, he is afraid of losing me & loves me still. But still he didnt leave the rebound I assume & he didnt msg me to reconnect. He always waits for me to msg 1st.. But still its not the right time as I feel , 1st the rebound must fail. 😐 He meets me rarely now as he left our college last year, but we had connection ,chats till Sep. But he meets this rebound weekly in his class. will he breakup with the rebound & come back to me? When?
I'm at the test drive stage and it's hard to communicate, been like that for weeks. I tried to get her on a phone call but she doesnt want to. I didnt mean to push her for that but I heard to re-attract her it must be via phone call. So I backed off for a bit ( a couple of days) because it annoyed her. I messaged her today and the same thing. What do I need to do to get past this?
HI Nicolas, we have to be sensitive to the emotional need of our ex. If we are pushing them to do something that they are not ready yet, they will put their reactance further. It seems to me like you are in Damage Control Mode. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program? We talked about our 5 personal stages in getting back together that is different from our ex.
Hey Nicholas, you can book your 1-0n-1 coaching here >> modernlove.life/coaching for the Ex solution Program, you can check this link >> modernlove.life/esp
Hi Clay, today I helped my wife move to her new place after 2 months of staying at friends places and co habitating ( which was awful ). We talked well and were nice to each other, she said if we moved on she would like to be friends. She said she wants to only communicate regarding the kids for 6 weeks and then go to marriage councilling. Any idea what she's thinking?
Hi Harvey, it good to hear that you and your wife is beginning to make a progress. We may not have a concrete as to what she is thinking as she is the only person who holds the truth. But the fact that there are some solid plans between the two of you to work on your marriage, that is something that you can focus on. Maybe your question will be answered during your counseling as well, which may come directly form her. :-)
What all these breakup gurus fail to mention when they make a video it depends on what type of breakup it was and what caused The break up? If it was a bad breakup with mean words or false threats? You ain't ever getting them back! These break up videos are for teenagers lol most relationships end for a good reason so stop giving people false hope
I and she have been broken up for two months, the 1st month no contact whatsoever. She texted me out of the blue and asked me to come over which I did. She vented out and told me that she was angry and emotional and couldn’t let it go. We hang out almost every day, we go for walks, we eat dinner together, I help her clean her house and we have been texting back in forth on a daily. She tells me that she wants me to be consistent with her and prove to her that I can make changes in my life. She sends me selflessly of herself out of random and it confuses me. The thing that hurt was her telling me that her parents said you’d be stupid to take him back. And she teared up not knowing what that meant. I don’t understand, why would she call me to come to be with her for days straight. Is she playing mind tricks or getting closure from me ?
If i should approach my ex and shes keep on telling me that shes happy now and madly inlove with her rebound what stage is this and im afraid that if i still contact her it would tell her that im still chasing her? I hope you could answer me so that i know where im starting and know what to do to fix it thanks you have a wonderful video
My ex of two years monkey branched to a friend of his two weeks after he broke up with me saying he didnt feel the same way anymore and that he didnt care if i saw anyone new. We both go to the same college and mutual friends have told me he is super excited about this new relationship with her (hes also her rebound so she is also excited) What are the chances their relationship doesnt work and he comes back? His new girl says he understands her better than anyone ever has... Even though they have only been together for a month.
What should i do if they broke up with me and have started dating someone new 2 weeks later? He told me he didnt want to end things but the stress of the relationship meant we needed space from each other. He's since said he doesn't want a relationship with me but wants me in his life... Should i go no contact, or ride it out? I feel disrespected but i want to make it work
I never wanted to break up with my ex girlfriend I can be a man and say I’m actually confused about us. My ex girlfriend is a very unique person but what happens if she just rides the dragon all the time? When I first met my girlfriend we were friends for five years and she finally said yes we dated for two years. Is she willing or wanting in this case to try to get back together? She also gives a bunch of excuses like saying “you shouldn’t give up per se” and she flirts with me and then stops. Some one please tell me what to do!!!
I am in kind of Riding a dragon/Crises status. However, told My ex that I am ok beeing friends with her, now dont know how to fix that without sounding needy
Hi clay, I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been 2 months of NC since the breakup. My ex is in stage 1, highly in reactance stage, as he doesn’t want no contact with me. He likes his actual life freedom and he’s even on dating apps (we met 3 weeks ago to get back some stuff left, and I saw the dating apps on his phone). I tried to do the first step 3 days ago, sending him a text to apologize/accountability for my mistakes, let him know I understand how he feels now and what he wants and keeping the door open for a meetup. He didn’t respond since 3 days. What can I do or say to make him talk to me ? Move from a stage 1 ? Thank you !!
I'm still so lost with him. I was trying to talk about different stuff and connect emotionally, but he refuses to see me. Today we met (I provoked it) and after 6 months...he's still telling me the same, that we can't be a normal couple because he's too attracted to me. And that we can't be doing normal things as he's too sexual about me. We have plenty of sexual chemistry...but I don't understand why he sees it as something negative. I offered him to start walking and doing more things, but he thinks that it will lead to the same situation. He gets so nervous when I'm near. It seems that he hates himself and his desires. And we have a good time normally, no fights, no bad moments. Maybe I'm a bit reserved and pushy sometimes but I'm sure that he do like being with me, but he's refusing to see me to avoid his desires. I've never been in such a strange situation
I honestly don’t know where I am at with my ex. Eight weeks ago I was blocked, we went from no communication to just a few comments. The other night we texted for almost an hour. She was asking me questions, we were having fun, it seemed like we were getting back to where we were. And now almost ignoring me. Would this be riding the dragon?
My ex keeps texting me he loves me he misses me and I told him to stop because he won’t be with me… I left him to date someone else.. I didn’t realize what I had when I had it… and I’m willing to forgive and forget the pain he causes me but now he says he’s not sure what he wants
Same here Clay need help. Also not sure if I am still in phase three or four of getting my ex back. my ex may say we are friends but I feel like his actions say another. He called me sweetie again but this time in person and whenever we meet up he is definitely touchy with me and he is never like this with other girls just me any advice Clay am I doing something right? Sadly he has not asked me to be his girlfriend again but again there are other people around whenever I meet up with my ex in person any ideas?
My ex asked me out and she kissed me and did intimate actions with me(not sex). She called it a date and we are having our next one thursday. What stage am i in?
What if you've not fully broke up broke up . Where he pulled away said he thinks he should be single . But then later same day he was confused and thinking about us . Says he loves me , but is scared from past hurts etc. We've went lower contact to give him some space,but talk daily etc. I feel like it's pretty much the crisis point with a mix of the confusion.
I’m in between 3-4 she’s scared to date me and doesn’t know if it will be the best thing for her, and that maybe she just needs to meet new people. What can I do to move forward into 4 completely
Thanks for watching this video. If you want to learn more about the 5 stages, check out this playlist: ua-cam.com/video/qWHF_Qmv1hM/v-deo.html
My ex is dating another man but they quarrel all the time she is telling me whenever they quarrel she regrets why she is broke up with me.she is telling me whenever they are together they cannot be like two hours without quarrelling but she is pregnant for him
Hi Clay, need your help here. I’m not sure which stage my ex is in right now.
We broke up 2 months ago. I’ve not done the no contact. I’ve apologized, pleaded, showing care, for the past 2 months and he was very reactive during first month. He chased me away when I went to visit. Second month he mellows down a bit, in tone of voice but still adamant in not patching back. I’ve been texting him this 2 months apologizing & explaining things, he reads my texts, but didn’t reply or replied coldly to certain tasks base topic such as getting things back or asking for his opinion on sports. Once a while he reacted to my texts like “why ask me? Why change now? I don’t need your help”
Recently I tried changing topic to talk as normal, he reads but he didn’t reply. He said things like “I’m not your honey, not your baby” when certain times my text contains such word.
Which stage is he in now and how should I go about it? 😔
What about a situation where we’ve been apart since 2001, but have mostly stayed in touch and gotten along well.
We’re talking, hanging out, even spent the night together (no sex). It’s awkward at times and I’m nervous.
@@gabrielomollo1716 Hello there do you need help to bring back your ex manifest your s.p to be with your partner love 💕 permently know if you are with your soulmate within 48hours inbox father right away
@@gabrielomollo1716 Massage him now via Whatzapp 🖌️
I am so happy to announce that my wife and I are getting back together!!!!! We separated about two months ago. I’ve been watching Clay’s videos and following all of his good advice, and yesterday she finally told me her decision!!!! Clay, thank you so much for your incredible videos and your approach. My wife went through all of these 5 stages. It was incredibly difficult to keep the focus on high quality interactions and self improvement when I was being avoided and pushed away, but I kept being consistent. Clay, you’re a genius. Thank you so very much for saving my marriage!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That's truly a great news, Shawn. Congratulations on getting back together. :-)
God bless you both.... Never ever get separated for any reason... May God bless u both and keep u happy for ever and ever
Weere you living together while separated?
how did you get past the second stage? i’m stuck there and i don’t know how to connect on a emotional stage
Can you please tell me how painful those two months were? And how you got through it?
I wish everyone luck in getting their ex back. Today is 8 months into my break up and finally realized is over forever.
The no contact has not worked.. we have spoken 4 times..she trapped me into telling her I wanted to get back together. .after she was talking about all the fun he had together over 17 years. Though it still hurts after 17 years just have accept the fact it's not going to happen. Good luck everyone. Thanks Clay for all that you do for us.
James G did you guys have kids?
No it was the second marriage for both of us.
Did anything ever happen? Or did you move on? She move on?
How are you feeling now
What happend?
What I like most about Clay is that it feels like he’s just a friend giving you an advice. It doesn’t feel like he’s just reading his notes. He explains everything and just seems very genuine.👍🏼
Wh@tsapp him🌷🌷
Thanks so much, Clay! After 5 years together he moved out in Feb. his mother passed and of course I pushed for answers and communication but he’s an avoidant. Super detached. He responded saying he needed space and time to process things. So I’ve kinda given him time. I’ve screwed up a little bit but for the most part gave him time. He has half his things still here in the garage and keeps coming back to take a few things here and there. Last weekend he took me to grab my car from the car shop and he was really googly eyed and looking at me a lot. We talked and I told him I still cared about him and he said he did too. We hugged and told each court we loved eachother. He pumped up my daughters bike tire and talked with her for a bit. I don’t know what this means but it’s gotta be a good sign.
Thanks for sharing your journey. Sounds like you are both slowly building progress. :-)
Happy to say that we're just entering the new beginnings stage. Keeping it zero pressure and just enjoying more and more time together. Thanks for all your sound advice and videos.
1. Wall of Reactance
- Non communicative
- High levels of reactance
2. Test Drive
- Willing to talk to you
- One or two word answers
- Little depth
3. Riding the Dragon
- hot and cold behavior
- relate to their confusion
4. Crisis Point
- your ex realizes they still have feelings for you
- they may discourage you / test you
- let them know you’re serious
5. New Beginnings
- back together
- have that conversation to seal the deal 😉
I think i am still at riding the dragon for how long not sure the pandemic kinda is making things go slowly
I can confidently say i am pass steps 1 and 2
Melissa Miller
That’s great! We recently got back together 🥰. Best of luck!
Brittany Friesen thank you, yeah i have been working on it for months now, it is hard i hope i succeed in winning him back fingers crossed
Melissa Miller
Focus on connecting with him and positive things will happen. 🤗
I've watched dozens of videos, and this is the first one that relates to my situation. Stage 2. We cared for one another greatly. And our mouths got us in trouble. Bad deal. But there's hope. Thanks
I hope 101 tips for getting your EX back on the horizon 👨🏻 Seriously, you are awesome Clay, when going thru rocky moments listening to you is very comforting. God bless❤️
Thanks for showing support and watching our videos. We truly appreciate that. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
.
ViawhatsApp.
Is it common to go back and forth between the different stages? I can recognise behaviors from stages 1-3!
If I had money I’d definitely book a session.
Where to book it?
You can book your sessions with me (Clay) through the
link modernlove.life/coaching
Me too sorry i cannot afford your program
Clay Andrews same if i had the money, i totally would book a session to get my ex back
I broke it off because I wanted her to get herself together she’s actually been taking steps . This video for me at the moment is spot on I’m in phase 2 .
So do you want to get back together with her
My love has been riding the dragon since the break up... i got upset by it.. thank you for speaking into that - i have told him i care and love for him so much and i believe ive been consistent with expressing that i want to rekindle.. longest no contact has been 7 days ... no calls , just texts (2months of separation) after 1 year of beinh together every single day... he ended things saying i could do better cos i wanted marriage and he wasnt ready ... i dont know what to do now .. hes not responded for 4 days now 😢
I love these steps!!! So spot on and no other coach has any quite like these!! So helpful for me bc I think My ex is in the crisis step and it helped me figure it out
So glad! We are happy to hear that you have resonated with our video. :-)
Did you get back together
Can you do a video on successful New beginnings and the success rate of them staying together and possible marriage
We have that in our Connect and Commit course. :-)
My ex broke up with me and so I went NC. After a couple weeks she called and said she wanted to work things out and was really loving and we agreed to come up with our expectations moving forward. A couple days later she started being cold like stage 2 where she’d just give one word answers. I asked her if she was still interested after a week of that and she said it was too soon to answer. I’m trying to connect with her but it doesn’t seem like it’s getting anywhere. She said she doesn’t want pressure, but outside of asking if we were still on the same page I haven’t pushed the issue.
Treat her as if she doesn't exist.
She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. ❤❤
M e s s a g e h e r n o w. V i a W h a t s A p p❤❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1__3 0 6 4❤❤
My husband left me 18 mos ago. We were married for 35yrs. Together since teens. He has ran out of the country and won't talk. I sent emails for 17 mos. He read them but would only reply to some regarding business with only one sentence. I've finally given up and have gone into no contact. I still can't believe he did this.
Move on
Meanwhile throw a party every night BYOB
I’m so sorry to hear this. That’s so heartbreaking, but I believe you will get through this and come out strong, and you will love again and be loved properly.
Stage 3 for 6months -I am ready to walk away .
Say a prayer God helps you sustain it and I'm very happy for you I wish u nothing but the best
Thank you Clay!!!! Your videos are awesome!
My pleasure!
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
I am 74. He is 72. It never gets easier.
Hello Mr ( Gabriel ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
Thank You Clay, this is so real. So much unconditional love and empathy needed for this process to happen.
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
✝15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
I smothered the guy I just started seeing because it had been so mutually, soulfully intense and then he got angry for not having space. So I totally did the wrong things, poured my heart out, chased him and he told me he needed space. So I have it to him, dropped contact and then a month later he said 'sorry for being rubbish, life gets in the way and I needed to check out for a bit, hope you're well?'
I didn't know what to make of it, I'd been so heartbroken and I left it a couple days and replied 'it's been busy but I've benefitted from the space, -hope you're well too?'
I think this might have been me with my defenses up - I didn't want to validate his dropping out like that.
I still miss him it's been about 2 months now. Every day I debate whether to drop him a line, and what tone that should take?? Of course, I've been working through my issues and enjoying my own life too but, we kinda rushed itt and it would be so good to reconnect.
How?!
You are describing the third stage (riding the dragon) we were going through for the last 2 weeks but now I’m hoping we can progress now to the 4th stage 😊 Clay… you explain everything so so well….. thank you 🙏
@Kim Egmore , you are very much welcome. :-)
@ClayAndrews thanks for this video. How exactly do you work past the Riding the Dragon and showing them understanding of their concerns and moving it into next stage?
Such a useful video! Thank you very much!
Love youuuuuu, thank you Clay !!
My pleasure!!. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
±²³⁴⁸¹⁴⁵⁸²⁷⁶⁴⁷.
Hello Clay, I have to say that you are really good in what you do. I think you are the only coach on yt who actually explains the mechanism of a breakup into such details. After almost 3 months after my ex bf has left I have started to connect dots and understand why and what happened. It really requires a high level of empathy from you to describe all this human interactions so relevant. Thank you for your work. I wish I didn't come across your videos before my bf said that he need some space - maybe I would have saved our relationship instead of pushing on him. Best Regards from Croatia
+ 1 9 2 9 5 6 0 3 7 3 2
She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
M e s s a g e h e r n o w. V i a W h a t s A p p
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1__3 0 6 4
The depth of this content is striking; much like a book I found enlightening. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I'm going insane it took so long for me and still hot and cold stage.
These have been very encouraging videos! I was going to do no contact for possibly to long but you've encouraged me to see that reaching out after a shorter time would be a better move. My ex and I just started texting lightly but it feels more so on the better half of the "riding the dragon stage" not entirely sure if I should try to plan a meet up in person sooner than later in the next week. Her birthday is here soon so that also makes me nervous about seeming to pushy rather than wait till after her birthday.
That's great to hear, Kosta. Just take things one step at a time and focus on building the connection. :-)
Will do boss. Thank you.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
.
ViawhatsApp.
It’s been 5 months and she is just now at riding the dragon
Any update?
“Honey just tell him to just ride that dragon”
*shows up to ex’s front door riding a toy dragon*
He told me he cares about me but he won’t say he still loves me he says bc I will take it to far. I’m not sure what this means. 😢 we just broke up last month but he keeps trying to find reasons to reach out
I've been in the wall of reactunce of 4 months now
What if she is the one who caused the break-up by cheating. Also how do I deal with the fact that she is now sort of in stage 2 but she still doesn't talk to me so we can't really have a conversation. I can talk to her about pretty deep emotional subjects but she just listens.
Hi GSF, I understand that this can be confusing, and that there are a lot of emotions that you have to process.
It's totally normal to have mixed feelings about a breakup for your ex to feel guilty about ending things with you. She may not be ready yet to open up emotionally and talk about what happened, but she'll get there eventually. Give her time to heal from the loss of your relationship before trying too hard to reach out or make amends.
Just be patient with yourself and with her-you've both been through something difficult, and it's only natural for both of you to need some time before jumping back into having that deep personal conversation again.
Have you checked our Ex Solution Program course (www.modernlovbe.life/esp) ? We cover these process in depth inside the course and this might help you on your journey further. :-)
she broke up after 3 1/2 years to make experiences. i gave her space and went into meditation and spirituality to fix some broken abilities i had from my childhood. one month later she said she had sex with someone else because it was just easy going (we had troubles here for a long time) but she knows now, that she needs love to have sex. she says that she loves me more than anything and that i feel family to her but at the same time she feels free now. i try just to be there for her and talk to her but not in a pushy way, she still has her space but its hurting me a lot and messing up my good/bad energy. its like she/we went through 4 of those 5 stages in a single week now. its exactly 8 days that we have contact again, we met and talked a lot, cried a lot, opened up in a totally new way. she also hopes that we find back together but she feels lost and confused atm. what shall i do? :(
Sign Up For The Interest List For A Free Coaching Workshop At: www.modernlove.life/coaching-interest
Please Share Your Thoughts So That We Can Make Something That You Truly Want - docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSemW2BXSk4-FcjLh2ma3vQ3XGbjIcVGkFMB3XkyREVx7LzsrQ/viewform
Hi Clay!
I’m currently at the last stage. He’s been making the effort to go out with me. At our last meet up, he kissed me goodbye and said “love you”. I paused for a bit and said it back. Things have been going good. We’ve been at this stage for two weeks. I don’t know when I should have the talk about taking the next step. I think I’m scared of being rejected again if I were to bring up the talk. Any advice?
Doesn't it turn them off when u let them know constantly that u r serious about them? Doesn't it push them back? He reallyyy Doesn't want to talk about anything serious he makes no comments when i talk about deep emotions. I don't know he confuses me.
riding the dragon is getting quite disheartening .. as she only just entered it , every positive pull back seems to put us back into test drive . there is a lot of anger at me for changing myself after we separated . don't help that she is living with her rebound so our interactions are brief and only really when she is picking up or dropping off our children . all but one of them interactions have been positive.
Exactly. That is why you have to fully prepare yourself by strengthening the Advanced Relational Skills so you can navigate each phase and manage yourself and emotions better. :-)
honestly , they can get quite playful and flirty. she has said some odd stuff . like , out of nowhere she told me she was ok and could get an apartment easy. than later told me she wasn't moving .
and then my kids have slowly wanted to be with me more . we went from joint custody to I have em 5 to 6days a week cause they would rather be with me .. just odd to me .. I thought I was the bad guy
I feel like me and my ex immediately went into stage 3. We are talking. Yes, she runs hot and cold and got real mad when she founs out i want on a date. Tonight, though I'm heading to her place to wrap presents. I'm taking the friends approach and just trying to maintain a connection.
I wish I woulda seen this before I told her I can’t be her friend. She was def riding the dragon, think I pushed her backwards.
Guess it’s nc time.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
.
ViawhatsApp.
±²³⁴⁸¹⁴⁵⁸²⁷⁶⁴⁷.
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
I really love ❤ this video 🙏
Thank you
Much love from Amsterdam..
🌱
umm i think im at the riding the dragon stage. he would send me little texts to get my attention again then lmk he does miss me. after we met up he is thinking maybe it was a mistake. has been distant since. he is telling me he is now "confused about his life' and "feels weird" it's been like 5 days of this :( i am just trying to respect his space n hope he comes back soon..
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
*➕15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️*
*I can't believe am with my love again*
At what stage am I? she actually broke up with me yesterday and after some beg to at least be friends (that I regret) she been talking to me but she everytime that she wakes up she wakes up really cold and dry then after talking to her for a while later she is acting normally with me as if she was my friend but she is not flirty nor she says she misses us and stuff, she simply acts like a friend but suddenly later she is being dry and cold again, days ago she even asked us to be friends because things were not working but I insisted to continue one last time and she agreed but then when we broke up instead of wanting to be friends she just wanted to end everything and erase me from her life, even though I am ashamed of begging, that's where I am rn... so in which stage am I?
Very good video. I’m in stage 4, girl is in a rebound, and told me she’d call it off. Now she’s on a road trip and in crisis. I need to chill and keep doing what I’m doing.
You definitely got this!
Clay Andrews thanks. Do you just sit back and wait? Or do inquire as to if she did it? I mean we’re going for walks, hooking up, I’m definitely winning, but am trying to stay chill.
Update. The rebound didn’t stand a chance. Silly to be freaking out like we do. It’s haard to make a connection and she came back. Things are better than ever and I’m laughing at the other guy. She was recently divorced so giving some room was required. Don’t re-act, stay cool, and be the prize.
It was building fine but I lashed out
Omg ur amazing ur the first coach that explains Exactly what happens after a break up clay ur amazing u gained ur self a subscriber thank you so much i will b contacting u i think my ex us at the crisis point.
Appreciate it! Thanks for watching our videos and please subscribe as well. :-)
Currently at the Ride the Dragon stage. It’s hard but hopefully it works out. She keeps saying she’s confused and is hurt and wants my comfort.
I need help...I left my husband 5 months ago because he consistently cheated on me and kept lying about it. I started to looking through his phones and kept seeing it.. I felt betrayed, my self asteem is at isn't lowest. I stopped listening to him and I was wrapped in my own pain. But no matter what is has done I can't seem to let him go. I still love him and want our marriage to work. What do I do?
If he keeps cheating, you should leave him for good. You deserve better
This is the most helpful video I have found.
Hi Clay I watch your videos everyday and you are totally different from other UA-cam coach. We broke up 6 months ago. Before we decided to officially break up, we did no contact for a month. Then he asked me to break up but still friend because I have a really good relationship with his family and friends and he said I was too good. We still go to the same gym, sometimes he picks me up. Besides when I asked him to go out for a walk or go somewhere with me he still agreed. Last week I came to his house. We made love, and he asked me to get back together and I said “we will get back together when you’re ready”. However the next day he asked me to stop acting like we still are couple and move on, “what happened yesterday was my mistake” he said that. He told me that he didnt want a relationship and he just wanna focus on his job right now and I had to find a serious relationship for getting married and settle down (he’s 23 and I’m 25). He doesn’t want me to be miserable. What can I do now? I’m so sorry for my bad English this is the very first time I leave a comment on a relationship expert channel. Thank you so much.
This sounds rough. I wonder if you just need to continue to ride this dragon!
I just had the most emotional 2 weeks with an ex I work with. I took her for granted back in February and she left a couple weeks later in March for another coworker. It’s been 6 months, which is now September. 2 weeks ago they broke up and her and I work side by side. Well, I had to do some heavy begging by agreeing to kiss her boot publicly. That action that she never thought I’d do sparked a lot of good conversation and smiling from her. She was finally engaging again. She even went as far as telling me, she’d been thinking about what I did a lot. My actions spoke louder than words and it made her smile from ear to ear. Unfortunately she went back to this guy. They moved in together two or three weeks after our original split. Rumor is she tried to kick him out and because he moved in so quick he was homeless from the start. Where is he supposed to go if he never has a place to live when they first met? Now they are currently “relearning one another”. I chose to be forthright with her but now she’s become distant again. I even feel like I’m bothering her. I laid it out for her. That she’d better make sure she’s happy because I’d really like a second chance. I think I gave her too much power because on Friday at the end of the day, she told me to leave her alone. She’s either at stage 3, confused and thinking about things or I knocked myself back to stage 5, if not further. Either way, Monday should be a nightmare.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
✝15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
Haha I love the psychological disclaimer about being who you are and what you deserve. ;-) loll
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
✝15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
Is it possible to go backwards when we are currently at stage 4 ?
She left me 2 months ago, she clearly says that she still loves me, she realizes more and more what she lost (in her own words) and she is ok having intimacy sometimes but she thinks we should still have no contact for the next weeks. She is not happy all by herself and being in love with me could prevent her, for now, to find happiness when she is alone because she wouldnt care about herself enough. I am ready to wait because I care about her needs and her healing process but I just worry that she moves on during this time. What should I do ? Should I show her that I am still here without being intrusive ?
My ex said he can't let me go. He loves spending time with me. I think he's still confused. We are trying but it's a bit awkward ❤
It’s possible that we’re in critical stage but they’re not mentioned about maybe we should date another or you are too good like this ? But instead they act like I have to follow their command so if I’m don’t do that they can’t come back?
My ex is in a rebound relationship. He reached out to me three times during the time he was dating her. One of the times he said he still thinks of me sometimes and wonders what I'm up to. What do you think this means?
I’m currently dealing with a situation but we didn’t ended it on a bad note and we both didn’t cheat. She decided to say we both should be friends. We both work together and it was just a person who decided to throw me and her under the bus saying we both were dating due to her and my girlfriend having some issues with one another work related. I have things at her house and she didn’t mentioned anything about me coming to get my stuff. Also, when she said we both should friends, she wasn’t to upset towards me or anything. Hopefully we both can try to fix things to get back together. She definitely pushed me to go back to school and did a lot for me as well as me doing a lot for her. I just decided to not hit her up first to see where she stands.
Great content! I have a question/concern. I understand the notion of rebuilding a connection with your ex and enjoying and building on positive experiences. But shouldn't there be a conversation about what the goals or intentions are at some point? I'm asking because just because an ex reaches out, says I miss you or suggests to meet up still doesn't mean it's genuine or they don't have selfish motives. It could be ego or to keep you as a placeholder. How do you determine without having the convo? should you have the convo?
This is a great question
She said to leave her alone and that she doesn't like me anymore and wants to be alone :( . . . Ouch.
I'm sorry to hear that you have to experience this challenge. We hope that you are holding on well.
How can I communicate, I understand him if we are broke up and not talking?
You remind me of Rivers Cuomo from Weezer. Im curious... what nationality are you?🙏💫🌸
“what’s with my Homies dissing my girl?” Rivers Cuomo
ex told me to never speak to him egain when I refuse to be freind with benefit with him nor have him as a freind and 4weeks later he came back telling me to not speak to him egain while I was in NO CONTACT and never reached him,what does that means? :o
Hey Clay,, love the vids they really help a lot :) my ex unblocked me yesterday after about a month and a half and she's been quite mean and indifferent towards me. We ended things in January and i made the mistake of begging. In February however she almost came back to me after we shared Valentine's Day together,, but then she decided against it. I dont know what to do and i hope you can help me :)
I’ve had pretty much the same time frame. We ended in January, I begged, and we started talking again on Valentine’s Day (she messaged me)... We were connecting really well, I could almost see us together again until I messed things up. Not only did I mess up any chance of reconciliation, I messed up my chance to be her friend. I was still focusing on the relationship, and not focusing on the connection we were spending together. It was selfish of me to do so.
We haven’t connected like that since... We’ve talked but after that, she finally decided to cut me off. I’ve been stuck in Test Drive for 4 months, and no contact for almost 2 months.
I should’ve acted sooner, but she’s happy with another man now. 🤷♂️ It would be awful of me to break the connection they have for my own goals. Hope everything goes well with you and your ex, maybe you’ll make better decisions than me, lol.
Omg it's JULY! I suggest you move on and date other people.
I feel like my ex went in the third stage right off the bat but it’s confusing
I appreciate your videos Clay and thank you for giving this advice
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
Heyy clay. im having a conversation with my ex this weekend. She wants to talk to me 1 on 1, i dont know what to expect. Do you know if this is 1 of these stages? Ty for making this video
Hi Damien, yes it could be one of the phases but of course, you still have to observe any consistent factors in your dynamics. Usually, if our ex slowly opens up with us, it starts with the Test Drive phase. But overall, we recommend to stay in the present moment and enjoy the time together. :-)
the most important thing is to keep moving on with your life, there is so much going on.
Thanks for the insight. We truly appreciate that. And part of moving forward is learning the life skills as it adds value as we reach a level of self-awareness. :-)
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
✝15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
What to do if they’re both not talking to you, responding texts messages, but when you meet them personally they show also signs of the riding the dragon stage like confusion and mixed feelings?
I'm in the same situation. Any updates on your situation?
First step is the other person needs to want this. Period. 🙏🏽
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
..
ViawhatsApp..
💯
Give them a reason to want this.
Wow 😲 same thing going on.
I'm the one who divorced him I never see anything on dumper remorse
My ex said goodbye to me for good last week but a few days later texted me to check in on me and told me that she wasn’t sure what she wanted and was still so confused. But then she said goodbye for good again a few days ago. She doesn’t want us to text again and to move on for good. It’s been so back and forth for the past month and a half and I’m not sure what to believe or what to do. I’m not sure how to make a connection with her if she doesn’t want to talk to me or even see me.
If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it!
Hi James, it sounds like your ex is emotionally confused and needs to sort what she really wants in a relationship. Will you be comfortable in taking this time to focus your energies towards your self for healing? Also, I would recommend that you check our video on 5 stages in getting back together.
@@ClayAndrews Yeah I’m finally understanding that I never really let her experience the breakup or gave her space to really sort out those feelings:/. And yes, in this time right now I’m focusing on myself and trying to be a better person than I was the day before. Since we’ve said our goodbyes, is this what the no contact rule is? Does she need to make the first move later down the road?
Thank you so much for replying and giving advice it means a lot!!
Clay Andrews
Your videos helped me pull through the 5 months of post break up & my ex bf came back to me during mid Nov telling me that he wants me back and he shared about his fears of about being a poor temper partner like his father, as well as his concerns about Covid19 impacting the travel restrictions (we didn’t have issue about long distance until Covid 19 hits). But we decided to give our relationship another try.
We slept together the same day the came back to me but I did made it clear that I’m not into friends with benefits and asked him if we’re back into a committed relationship, he said yes.
We went out 4 dates in the last 2 weeks but mostly I initiate them and his behavior was mostly cold and impatient. He doesn’t talk much except about his new hobby. He doesn’t text me with all the emojis like before. He avoided celebrating my bday on the day itself but still celebrates it during the weekend. When it is his bday he gave excuses that he’s busy on his bday and we celebrate it earlier. He did brought me to meet 3 of his close friends. But his behavior has been hot & cold.
His entire family is against us getting back together.
He said that he doesn’t feel the same way about me & the spark he used to have with me after going out 4 dates in the 2 weeks that we reconnect again.
He just doesn’t feel like talking with me the way he used to because he doesn’t feel like it and his is unsure of what he is feeling, he just wants a break from this and be alone. We’ve had sex few times during this 2 weeks. He wasn’t cold in sex, it is still good.
Clay, will you help me please? How can I make him feel the spark again? He is now back to neighboring country for work.
My colleague also told me that she saw my ex bf (or should I call him bf again) is on Tinder. I haven’t confront him about tinder but I know if I do it now, with his heart not into me, things will be worse than now?
+ 1 9 2 9 5 6 0 3 7 3 2
hey clay i’m stuck on stage 2. we plan on meeting up in a couple of days but i don’t know to connect with her on a emotional level
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
+15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
My bf started a rebound as he assumed I rejected him ended our love when he reached out to me wit regret , love after our 2nd breakup , he is a FA, he brokeup (took space for misunderstandings ,triggers few times , but came back within a month in my NC, eachtime we got mo closer) I texted him I didnt abandon him or end. He responded with care, but didnt msg yet or leave the rebound. Then I went NC. Then he is reaching out indirectly tru his friend (last month) & he came to see me (last week) to an even in our college as he knows Im there & had eye contact purposely few times, he is afraid of losing me & loves me still. But still he didnt leave the rebound I assume & he didnt msg me to reconnect. He always waits for me to msg 1st.. But still its not the right time as I feel , 1st the rebound must fail. 😐 He meets me rarely now as he left our college last year, but we had connection ,chats till Sep. But he meets this rebound weekly in his class. will he breakup with the rebound & come back to me? When?
I'm at the test drive stage and it's hard to communicate, been like that for weeks. I tried to get her on a phone call but she doesnt want to. I didnt mean to push her for that but I heard to re-attract her it must be via phone call. So I backed off for a bit ( a couple of days) because it annoyed her. I messaged her today and the same thing. What do I need to do to get past this?
HI Nicolas, we have to be sensitive to the emotional need of our ex. If we are pushing them to do something that they are not ready yet, they will put their reactance further. It seems to me like you are in Damage Control Mode. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program? We talked about our 5 personal stages in getting back together that is different from our ex.
@@ClayAndrews where can I access that or get one v one help?
Hey Nicholas, you can book your 1-0n-1 coaching here >> modernlove.life/coaching
for the Ex solution Program, you can check this link >> modernlove.life/esp
She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship
M e s s a g e h e r n o w. V i a W h a t s A p p
Hi Clay, today I helped my wife move to her new place after 2 months of staying at friends places and co habitating ( which was awful ). We talked well and were nice to each other, she said if we moved on she would like to be friends. She said she wants to only communicate regarding the kids for 6 weeks and then go to marriage councilling. Any idea what she's thinking?
Hi Harvey, it good to hear that you and your wife is beginning to make a progress. We may not have a concrete as to what she is thinking as she is the only person who holds the truth. But the fact that there are some solid plans between the two of you to work on your marriage, that is something that you can focus on. Maybe your question will be answered during your counseling as well, which may come directly form her. :-)
@@ClayAndrews thanks Clay. Will let you know how it goes.
Riding the dragon sounds like the last stage 😂
Does it matter who breaks up with who ?
Hi Kent, no it doesn't matter. :-)
What all these breakup gurus fail to mention when they make a video it depends on what type of breakup it was and what caused The break up? If it was a bad breakup with mean words or false threats? You ain't ever getting them back! These break up videos are for teenagers lol most relationships end for a good reason so stop giving people false hope
I and she have been broken up for two months, the 1st month no contact whatsoever. She texted me out of the blue and asked me to come over which I did.
She vented out and told me that she was angry and emotional and couldn’t let it go. We hang out almost every day, we go for walks, we eat dinner together, I help her clean her house and we have been texting back in forth on a daily.
She tells me that she wants me to be consistent with her and prove to her that I can make changes in my life. She sends me selflessly of herself out of random and it confuses me. The thing that hurt was her telling me that her parents said you’d be stupid to take him back. And she teared up not knowing what that meant. I don’t understand, why would she call me to come to be with her for days straight. Is she playing mind tricks or getting closure from me ?
If i should approach my ex and shes keep on telling me that shes happy now and madly inlove with her rebound what stage is this and im afraid that if i still contact her it would tell her that im still chasing her? I hope you could answer me so that i know where im starting and know what to do to fix it thanks you have a wonderful video
He is a great and powerful Man who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago without delay 💯💯💯
This really works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
I can also help you out too
Whatspp me to know how
+15626005682⏯⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
I can't believe am with my love again
My ex of two years monkey branched to a friend of his two weeks after he broke up with me saying he didnt feel the same way anymore and that he didnt care if i saw anyone new. We both go to the same college and mutual friends have told me he is super excited about this new relationship with her (hes also her rebound so she is also excited) What are the chances their relationship doesnt work and he comes back? His new girl says he understands her better than anyone ever has... Even though they have only been together for a month.
What should i do if they broke up with me and have started dating someone new 2 weeks later? He told me he didnt want to end things but the stress of the relationship meant we needed space from each other. He's since said he doesn't want a relationship with me but wants me in his life... Should i go no contact, or ride it out? I feel disrespected but i want to make it work
I never wanted to break up with my ex girlfriend I can be a man and say I’m actually confused about us. My ex girlfriend is a very unique person but what happens if she just rides the dragon all the time? When I first met my girlfriend we were friends for five years and she finally said yes we dated for two years. Is she willing or wanting in this case to try to get back together? She also gives a bunch of excuses like saying “you shouldn’t give up per se” and she flirts with me and then stops. Some one please tell me what to do!!!
I am in kind of Riding a dragon/Crises status. However, told My ex that I am ok beeing friends with her, now dont know how to fix that without sounding needy
Hi clay, I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been 2 months of NC since the breakup. My ex is in stage 1, highly in reactance stage, as he doesn’t want no contact with me. He likes his actual life freedom and he’s even on dating apps (we met 3 weeks ago to get back some stuff left, and I saw the dating apps on his phone). I tried to do the first step 3 days ago, sending him a text to apologize/accountability for my mistakes, let him know I understand how he feels now and what he wants and keeping the door open for a meetup. He didn’t respond since 3 days. What can I do or say to make him talk to me ? Move from a stage 1 ?
Thank you !!
I'm still so lost with him. I was trying to talk about different stuff and connect emotionally, but he refuses to see me. Today we met (I provoked it) and after 6 months...he's still telling me the same, that we can't be a normal couple because he's too attracted to me. And that we can't be doing normal things as he's too sexual about me. We have plenty of sexual chemistry...but I don't understand why he sees it as something negative. I offered him to start walking and doing more things, but he thinks that it will lead to the same situation. He gets so nervous when I'm near. It seems that he hates himself and his desires. And we have a good time normally, no fights, no bad moments. Maybe I'm a bit reserved and pushy sometimes but I'm sure that he do like being with me, but he's refusing to see me to avoid his desires. I've never been in such a strange situation
She is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. ❤❤
M e s s a g e h e r n o w. V i a W h a t s A p p❤❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1__3 0 6 4❤❤
I honestly don’t know where I am at with my ex. Eight weeks ago I was blocked, we went from no communication to just a few comments. The other night we texted for almost an hour. She was asking me questions, we were having fun, it seemed like we were getting back to where we were. And now almost ignoring me. Would this be riding the dragon?
My ex keeps texting me he loves me he misses me and I told him to stop because he won’t be with me… I left him to date someone else.. I didn’t realize what I had when I had it… and I’m willing to forgive and forget the pain he causes me but now he says he’s not sure what he wants
What if they do some stages before others? Lol. Cuz that's what's happening to me.
Clay I really need advice. I really do love my ex
Same here Clay need help. Also not sure if I am still in phase three or four of getting my ex back. my ex may say we are friends but I feel like his actions say another. He called me sweetie again but this time in person and whenever we meet up he is definitely touchy with me and he is never like this with other girls just me any advice Clay am I doing something right? Sadly he has not asked me to be his girlfriend again but again there are other people around whenever I meet up with my ex in person any ideas?
I’m possibly at riding the dragon and I might be moving into crisis point. Either that or I’m totally fucking deluded 💁🏻♀️
My ex asked me out and she kissed me and did intimate actions with me(not sex). She called it a date and we are having our next one thursday. What stage am i in?
What if you've not fully broke up broke up . Where he pulled away said he thinks he should be single . But then later same day he was confused and thinking about us . Says he loves me , but is scared from past hurts etc. We've went lower contact to give him some space,but talk daily etc. I feel like it's pretty much the crisis point with a mix of the confusion.
Subscribed and thumbs up… per your request.
Awesome thank you!
Audio levels super low.
I’m in between 3-4 she’s scared to date me and doesn’t know if it will be the best thing for her, and that maybe she just needs to meet new people. What can I do to move forward into 4 completely