I used to fear pain during childbirth. My daughter was stillborn during COVID, and taught me the ultimate surrender to pain. My son, born after, was born at home, unmedicated, and perfectly healthy. God is good ❤
@@bluecomb5376 God entrusted me with this pain, and I trust him for why he’s given it to me. It’s helped me grow as a person and be a better mother and wife, despite how hard it still is some days… Thank you for your kind words.
Omg. My daughter is 10 months old. I can't imagine that pain. It brings me to tears thinking about it. I am sorry you experienced that. God bless you and your family.
I tried for a homebirth in December and labored for 70+ hours on 4 hours of sleep, ending in an unplanned c-section after not dilating past 2cm at home. While it took me some time to mentally recover and not consider myself "a failure", I am unbelievably grateful for the experience now as it too taught me the lesson that I am indeed NOT in control. Thank you for sharing our birth stories!!
I am so sorry for your pain. 🫂🫂 I have son who is nearly five. I was in labour for a day and night with him. No epidural ( was not available). I had watched breathing techniques on UA-cam and it helped me. During the day I was sitting on a medicine ball and was breathing through contractions all day at my parent's house, but by night time, we had gone to the hospital and I became exhausted and opted for an emergency C-section early in the morning. I also did NOT dilate past 2 cm. The nurses checking me was so painful it made me want a c section even more. It was a very cold atmosphere from the nurses. They told me to " wait 4 more hours" 😳😳😳 my body started shaking as I went into shock. I am eternally Grateful for the presence of my husband, mom and sister though who looked after me. I also felt like a failure and went into depression for sometime. Recovery was HARD.
You're not a failure. You selflessly took the harder route to get your baby here safely. Alot of women are so determined to give birth "naturally" they refuse any Intervention that could save their baby..
I’ve just had my 3rd baby (1st 2 we’re homebirths) this time round I had really bad pain for days before labour so was exhausted and went to hospital instead. Oh what a different experience!! I refuse to let such a traumatic experience prevent me from having any more babies.
I am a wife & mother, who was once enormously blessed. I met and married a man I love (in my 30's) ... became pregnant easily. Christopher was a bit premature at 7 wks early. For 5 days, I was in the hospital laboring. Not consistently, of course! The doctors were certain they would stop the labor and send me home on bed rest. But as each attempt wore off, labor started again. By a Tues morning, they gave up and said "he's coming." Yes, we knew he was a boy. The doctor actually broke my water and I was told it could still be hours ... but only a couple minutes later, I told the nurse: "I've never given birth before but I feel like I need to push now." The doctor ran back in and within 15 minutes, no epedural, I pushed him out. He was gorgeous! He did need to remain in the hospital longer than normal, and that was tough ... but within 2 weeks we brought him home. Yes, my body has changed (though much of it rebounded, call it good metabolism, call it ADHD, I'm a very active person). We built our home, literally with our own hands and for while, life truly seemed perfect. But life can't be controlled and nothing is perfect anymore, other than my trust in God. In 2016, when Christopher was not even 8 years old yet, a neurological disorder manifested. He was born with it but we had no clue until symptoms manifested. There had not been newborn screening for this and no one in our family ever had this. At diagnosis, Doctors told us we would lose Christopher within 3 years. My husband and I were in shock, grief, etc. The following years we watched him go from perfect light of Christ, to full care and disabled. We were supported by some, pulled apart by others, and our marriage died. Yet, I never didn't believe in God. I clung to Him more. I had this moment of complete surrender. I laid on my face, before a photo of the Divine Mercy of Jesus. I said: "God, take my husband. Take our son. Take this house and every earthly blessing you have ever given me. It's okay. With You ... everything will work out as it should." I never understood "Let go and let God" until then. I felt such peace ... even though everything was wrong. LONG story, still long ... I couldn't tell you how or when ... but things began to heal. My husband and I went for therapy, thinking we need to get along post divorce ... and in the end, did not divorce. We realized ... we love each other. We actually use our pain & shame, to help others. And Christopher, while not miraculously healed ... he's the boy who wasn't supposed to see age 11, yet he turned 15 this year. If you had known him before he got sick, you would know he lived up to his name, which means Christ Bearer. I still don't understand why this happened to him, of all people ... but I do know, God's got this. God is the author of Christopher's story ... not doctors. Not the devil. Christopher isn't finished yet. I don't care for anonymity ... pray for my son. If you want to see his gorgeous face, you can still search "Christopher Gray in Watertown, CT." (or maybe Christopher James Gray). We are not fundraising anymore, donate elsewhere ... but I do use his old GFM as a blog now so people can see how he's grown. Don't get me wrong ... I ache. I still feel like my heart is all taped up. No one calls me Mom anymore. I can't tell you how that hurts. But I am a Mom for the rest of my life. I need to love my family into heaven. Please pray for us. That's all I want. Prayers, prayers, prayers. Much love to anyone who read thru my wordiness. Thank you!!
@van1593 Thank you! I'm not sure I would say I fought for my marriage, so much as I just gave it to God. Truly. And when we found another couple in a similar boat, we both felt this need to share with them what we had gone thru. And listening to us, it was like their eyes opened. They are still together too. I'm actually thinking about writing a book. I realize ... this happened to us for a reason. God knew I would take this as far as I can. And of course, life is still hard. While I am a devout Catholic, I'm still human. This year, when Christopher's birthday came, an aunt suggested I buy a cake (even though he can't eat it) and we'll celebrate him. I went to the store and I kept getting stuck in front of a Spider-man cake. Why? Because in my head, Christopher is forever 8 years old. He's still a blue belt in martial arts. He's hilarious and loves to giggle. I hear his voice in my head all the time. Even though today, he is a disabled 15 old, who no longer speaks ... I was mad at the spider man cake! I grabbed a plain, brown cake, and I just cried in the store. And I know my husband is suffering. Christopher had been a momma's boy ... he was finally getting to the age when he wanted to "be like Dad." And with diagnosis, my husband lost that. That's why I share our story whenever and wherever I can. We need all the prayers we can get. Thank you!
I’m pregnant with my 4th baby, but soon-to-be 3rd born at end of June. My biggest fear is to end up with a C-section. However, Emily’s description of “This is my body given up for you” in a crucified position giving birth via C-section made me tear up. What an in-depth, profound way to view a C-section. If I’m ever to end up in an emergency C-section, I will view it this way.💛
Currently 38 weeks pregnant with baby number 7. I have been so blessed to be able to birth at home. All 8-10 lbs 😅 I had to pause the video for a moment to say what an inspiration you both are! I am trying to type this through tears after listening to Emily tell Zion that this is her body laid out for him. Is there anything more beautiful on this earth than a mother's love and sacrifice for her baby😭🥰❤️ God bless you lovely women! I will be praying for your births! ❤
It's a privilege to be a woman who can bear children no matter the sacrifice it requires. To be that close to the creation of life, I feel closer to God because of it.
Thank you both for sharing this lovely conversation. I’m 19 weeks with my first, I’m 35 and culture tells me I’m old and at risk for so many things, but also my body is not as energetic as it was in my 20s. I have a lot of distrust for the medical system and doctors in general, but hearing your different birth experiences really helps me rest in God’s control and let go of mine. Most of my friends have already had all their kids, and I’m just now starting, which has made me feel alone, but I’m so encouraged to be reminded that I’m not. I’m blessed by this episode. Thanks again.
You aren't alone. I'm 34yo 20 weeks pregnant with my double rainbow baby. I understand what you mean by seeing other women who have had children earlier in life. I try to remember God always has a plan and I know he walks with us and gives us our gifts when we are ready. Sometimes it can be hard to wait but he's here with us and knows what we need. I pray you have an uneventful beautiful pregnancy and a healthy birth❤️
I will never forget how amazing my husband has been through both of my pregnancies, l&d and pp. The man you choose to have children with is so important.
My best advice for postpartum: Start meal prepping at 36 weeks! Make double the amount of proportions of your dinners for the next 1-2 weeks and store the second batch to freeze. Then reheat those dinners at home when baby has arrived! Has saved me so much time and sanity! Or cut up ingredients, throw them in gallon bags and label them for crockpot meals that can be thrown together for hubby/support system to use.
I'm not even a mother, but I found this conversation to be SO edifying. Emily and Lila are my two favorite women on the internet. I would be delighted if Emily was a more regular guest on the show :)
I have been a nanny for a decade and I can’t wait to become a mother but I have feared the topics in this discussion. Thank you for helping to put those fears to rest!! Fear of the unknown is the biggest thing for me, but to hear that we are truly not in control when we become mothers is so encouraging. Praying for a smooth and safe delivery of both your precious baby girls 😇✝️💜 God bless you Lila!
Thank you so much for this discussion ❤ I had a very traumatic experience with my firsts birth 8 months ago and needed a c-section. Emily discussing her experience actually brought me so much peace reflecting back on that time and hope for future births. Motherhood has been very challenging so far but it really is about surrender to the Lord. Truly why do we worry? He has our lives in His hands ❤️❤️
“Why do I trust my surgeon more than I trust God” oh man I needed to hear that! I’ve had 3 c sections and preeclampsia and still desire another child but am so scared of the complications that can happen with having another. Doctors just tell me 3 is the limit as a blanket statement for every mother. I just need to trust in God’s will and surrender my fear.
I had 5 c sections. Unfortunately, I never wanted them but due to impatient doctors my first 2 were because of "failure to progress" then they told me I could never try to labor again so the last 3 were scheduled. Couldn't find a vbac supportive OB or midwife that would touch me. Because when a vbac goes bad mom and baby end up dead. Also, even if you have one vbac that didn't guarantee your scar won't open again. It's still a major stress on that scar. But... If they say you healed well then you should have no issues with 1 or 2 more. Ally beth stuckey was talking about her vba2c. She said she wanted to vbac because she wanted more kids. I don't think she understands how the body works. Once they cut into your uterus, It's cut for life. Any labor is stress on that scar. Whether or not you do deliver vaginally or not after. That is why they recommend sections after even one. The risk of rupture is more during a labor. So if ally had 2 sections and 1 vbac that didn't mean her next attempt at labor her scar wouldn't open. It very well could due to age and the stretching of pregnancy alone.
@@SK-ut6tw yeah mine is a similar story, although I did try for a vbac with my second and ended up with placental abruption during the beginning of labor. Opting for a scheduled c section for my third was because I heard Emily’s testimony on pints with aquinas and I let go of my desire for a natural birth. Good to know there’s other moms out there who have gone beyond the “3 c section limit”
Another story for you! My mom had 4 c sections, no complications! And her first three were in the early 2000’s in Argentina. When she had her third in Argentina the doctor spent hours correcting her adhesions, but she was still able to have a fourth no complications:)
@@MariaValentinaSponar yeah I just had my 5th 7 months ago. My surgeon said minimum scar tissue so if I wanted another baby it would be no problem. So there's hope love.
I have a dear friend who just had her eighth! All were c-sections. This last one was difficult and they had to bring a special team of doctors… but she trusted in God above all else to take care of her and her child and they are both healthy and thriving! God knows when our families are complete and if you are discerning thoroughly and He put it on your heart, who are the drs to say what is right? Praying for you!!
I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my double rainbow baby. So happy to see this episode. I hope you have a beautiful birth and maternity leave. Congratulations on your baby girl.
Planning my third home birth, due in July! I enjoyed Ina May Gaskins book and The Bradley Method. Both births so far were around 10-12 hours start to finish.
Amen to the Bradley method. The training we received back in the early 80’s saved me from a Caesarean birth with my first and I went on to have a total of 8 completely natural unmedicated births. I wish more women could receive the training my hubby and I were blessed to have.
I'm 10 months postpartum. I was with a fantastic midwife and doula. I always tell people a good doula is completely necessary if you are going unmedicated. I don't think I would have made it without her. You need someone there that is reading your body language, understanding your contractions, knows when to give you water, and help you change positions. My doula is truly the reason I endured! And my bluetooth speaker playing ocean waves the entire time. 😊
I'm glad that I gave my life to Christ when I was a teenager and now I'm gonna be 24 next month. Giving my life to him help me found a wonderful godly hubsand in my life and ready to have our newborn child together. I was disappointed when I had a miscarriage last year, I was very sad and crying and didn't want to eat for a few days but my husband told me that I need to eat something when he made me some chicken noodle soup. We pray together and our relationship and marriage is growing stronger now.
I wish you both safe deliveries as I lay tonight with my 2 month old girl next to me ❤️ Her birth was traumatic for me, my husband and also my mom. Baby was 41 weeks and 5 days and I was induced. Cook catheter made me get to 4cm but it was a painful sleepless night. A nurse yanked it off me without my consent. I wasn’t progressing so I got pitosin which made my contractions longer and more painful but they were still too far apart. They kept upping the dose until the baby’s heart got stressed so they downed the dose and my labor slowed down. I knew it was going to be a while so I got the epidural. They started upping the pitosin again and convinced me them breaking my bag of waters would make things progress. It didn’t. I pushed for 4.5 hours and they saw that the baby was stuck, she was head down but facing the wrong way. Tension was high with my mom and husband as we all had different opinions on some things… So it ended in a c section which was our biggest fear. The meds and the exhaustion had me so out of it I felt delirious. I’m the type of person that can’t sit still and hate being confined and I had so many wires and probes confining me to bed I was feeling like ripping them all off and going home and I sobbed because I knew I had to stay and that there was a whole baby that needed to come out. When they cut me open and I heard her cry for the first time adrenaline rushed through my body and I was awake and clear minded and all I wanted to do is be with her. We love her so much and she has brought so much joy ❤
I gave birth to my 2nd baby in July 2020, so during the madness of covid, but I had a homebirth. No mask, no being alone, actually it was unplanned unassisted and quite amazing praise be to God, but... my heart goes out to those who had a negative birth experience in 2020. It shouldn't have been so.
Hi Lila, I am not a mother yet, but God willing my husband and I will one day, and I loved listening to this episode. Emily is so strong and it was wonderful to listen to her birth experience. God bless your podcast.
How beautiful! Prayers for a peaceful birth & postpartum that is filled with gratitude & dignity. Please have Dr. Christopher Stroud and Mary Haseltine on! Love both their perspective on respecting the marriage, family, and the ability of a mother’s body, mind, & spirit.
Just clicked into this video! So good to hear fellow young mothers discussing this whole life process. My son came to my womb two months ago and so far carrying a child has been a sublime experience. I've been mentally preparing myself for the extreme pain at labor since I intend to go without epidural, just the old painful ways so many human females have been through......
Listening to this on a walk trying to encourage baby to come! Expecting my third any day now and also have 2 kids with a miscarriage in between as well. Surprise gender this time. God bless you both!
I had my first birth 6 months ago and I still question if Ive mentally recovered fully from the experience... I had an induction at 40 weeks plus 5 days... I wanted to wait for labor to come but the amniotic fluid was getting low and it was becoming dangerous to wait. So I never went into labor on my own, which bothered me. I did lots of research on birth, took classes, watched videos, practiced breathing and pain relief exercises, etc. but noting prepared me for the induction experience as none of the classes discussed it. It took 3 days for my son to be born. I wanted to avoid medication but i needed it for so much of the process. Ultimately, i think i felt like a failure and just didnt have the experience i had prepared for... Having to surrender to God is so true. I am a control freak. So having absolutely no control over my body to give birth drove me insane. Absolutely horrific back labor, had internal vaginal tearing from pushing (baby came out hands up) etc... i just wish i had surrendered the process to God more and that i had done more research on induction to be more mentally prepared for the experience. I knew a lot about c-section and was mentally prepared for that, but not for the induction.
I'm sorry about your experience. Low amniotic fluid is not considered a valid reason for induction by ACOG guidelines. They will find just about any reason to induce. Low amniotic fluid is perfectly normal at the end of pregnancy.
@@Happytown7523depends how low. If she had less than 2 pockets of fluid then no. That isn't safe. Risk of stillbirth goes way up. How do I know? Had it happen at 37 weeks. Went in for decreased fetal movement.Would have lost him if I had waited. Nurses and doctors said I saved him.
@@Happytown7523sorry but you're blatantly wrong about my situation. Fluid levels were becoming dangerously low and showing signs that the placenta was starting to deteriorate. Waiting too much longer could've resulted in a stillborn situation. I'm not mad that I was induced, I just wish I knew more about what that process entailed prior. The hospital I was at was excellent and took great care of me. amazing nurses and staff. I was just totally unprepared for what an induction entails. Also, I think you need to show more compassion towards OBGYNs. Saying "oh they'll find any reason to induce" is insulting and not true. My OBs took excellent care of me, and I also worked with a team of midwives. They never tried to push me into inducing against my will. They were all hopeful that I would go into labor naturally, and suggested induction ONLY if it was becoming dangerous for me or baby, which it was. I find it rude that you would suggest they're such bad people trying to push an induction on me. Maybe you need to remember that it wasn't long ago that women and babies were dying in childbirth left and right. Modern medicine has fixed that problem. Your 2 seconds of research online doesn't make you qualified to say I didn't need an induction.
@@Ana_Cecilia615no, I wouldn't wait for labor because it was becoming dangerous for the baby. Placenta was showing signs of deterioration. I don't regret choosing to go the safe route and induce. Waiting could've resulted in my baby dying. I just wish I knew more about how inductions work prior to going through the process. I'm someone who always likes to be prepared for things and I just didn't feel prepared because I didn't know. The staff and hospital was excellent and always took my needs and desired into account. They told me I don't HAVE to induce but it's highly recommended. They showed me the stats and told me the decision is up to me. I chose induction to be safe for my baby. And even during the induction process, which took 2 days, I could've gone into labor naturally anytime but I never did. I'm not so sure I ever would've gone into labor on my own. I had absolutely no signs that labor was coming, never even got a contraction on my own. Didn't dilate naturally on my own at all. Baby was in position for weeks but my body never responded to it.
I’m terrified of giving birth again due to a post partum hemorrhage and a different very difficult pregnancy that ended in the loss of twins. I do feel called to have my third child but I’m in this haze of fear worrying about dying and leaving the children I have to pursue another and also the whole financial situation of it. Any advice on surrendering these fears to God?
Really appreciate Emily's advice on leaning into the suffering when it comes and meet God there. This is something I've recently discovered too in my years of depression and then bipolar. The best way so far I could have found when facing deep pain, despair, or sadness over someone's death, is feeling that emotion, be in that state, let it come, let myself be as down as I can be, for as long as I need. The time to mourn, really. Mourn over a sad experience, a childhood trauma, an unjust treatment, death, etc. After this process, I often find my wound close....
Welcome Emily! Hope you, your daughter, your husband, and sons are well, Lila! Thank you for continuing the two weekly episodes! Your last episode with Dr. Lauren Rubal about IVF was one of my favorite interviews of the year! Been praying for you on your maternity leave! "The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral -a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body. . . The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God's creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation. .. What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?" -Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty M is for the moan, and the miserable groan From the pain that she felt when I was born O is for the oven with it's burning heat Where she stood making' sure I had something to eat T is for the time that she stayed up at night And took my temperature when I wasn't feelin right H is for the hard earned money she spent To keep clothes on my back and try to pay da rent E is for every wrinkle I put on her face And every worry that I caused when I stayed out late The last letter R is that She taught me Respect And for the room in Heaven that I know she'll get -Mr. T Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful Happy Fun Faith-over-Fear Family Friday, Lila! When Mother Mary was pregnant with Jesus, she went on an about eighty mile joyous journey to visit her cousin Elizabeth in her hour of need, Elizabeth said referencing her tiny child in her womb John the Baptist who was conceived when she was in old age: Luke 1:41-44 When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
What an amazing episode! Love the wisdom and spiritual encouragement from Emily Wilson . Thank you both for sharing your experiences and encouragement to all mothers and mothers to be. I have found the lessons learned to be powerful thoughts and prayers to keep in mind during these times of childrearing. Very much appreciated, God bless you both for your loving ministries. Prayers to you both in your pregnancies, deliveries, and postpartum journeys. ✝️🙏🏼❤️ With love, your sister in Christ.
Loved this podcast such a well of wisdom to learn from specially surrendering in those moments out of our control like birth, postpardum, breast feeding, etc.!
Lila I wish you a safe delivery. We are looking forward to your return. There is this story that just broke of a teen with Down syndrome who beat the record at the London marathon. Perhaps you can cover this? It will encourage women who out of fear or pressure are considering aborting babies diagnosed of Down syndrome or similar issues in utero.
I never understood elected C-sections. Why would you willingly subject your baby to higher risk of infection, longer recovery, inhibited bonding, personality issues, etc... calm down, I'm referring to the research literature. I'm sure your super specific occurrence was 1000% necessary, resulted in perfect bonding, zero issues breastfeeding, and you were able to close any gaps and raise a well-adjusted child, good for you! Please don't misunderstood this as a personal attack... I just have found that most parents who endure c-sections are often quite uneducated in the risks, the drop in fertility or risks to future pregnancies, the potential disorders or pain from the scarring, etc. It really should be a last resort, not a first choice of convenience.
From what I heard from Emily's experience, her first baby got stuck trying to be delivered naturally the first time, and she had to have an emergency c-section to get him out. She said big babies run in her family. So for the next ones, she elected to have a c-section, knowing that the same scenario would probably happen again. Good thing we have modern medicine to deliver big babies that would otherwise die and potentially cause the mom to die too.
Motherhood is something I know right now I am not ready for. But I do believe that if this is god's plan for me , he will make it happen at the time he has chosen for me.
Salutations from Europe. Here we still have a clear focus on spontaneous vaginal birth if possible and I had 2 aqua deliveries of 2 big healthy boys as I was 33 and then 35 years old.
I don't know, I found the conversation around post partum and no support to be pretty weak in this cast. I love your podcast, Lila Rose, but I don't think that there was a lot of valuable information around these serious subjects here. It was almost cringy. All I heard was everything's fine, everything's normal, it's okay to feel the way you do, etc. But that is not advice for women who are in those predicaments. I also don't think that was what you were hoping to get at with your questions. The questions were well posed, but the responses were idealized and oversimplified. Too bad the opportunity to deliver some real content was missed on this one.
I am too scared to give birth and to have children 😬Sometimes I think that caring for tiny human being and being responsible for it while it grows to an adult is a really amazing thing. Maybe its best not because I have a genetic disorder, no fun creating another life who suffers from physical pain all the time. Sorry kid, no cure.🧬
I used to fear pain during childbirth.
My daughter was stillborn during COVID, and taught me the ultimate surrender to pain.
My son, born after, was born at home, unmedicated, and perfectly healthy.
God is good ❤
God bless you in losing your daughter. How strong you are to understand true surrender. Amazing.
@@bluecomb5376 God entrusted me with this pain, and I trust him for why he’s given it to me. It’s helped me grow as a person and be a better mother and wife, despite how hard it still is some days… Thank you for your kind words.
Omg. My daughter is 10 months old. I can't imagine that pain. It brings me to tears thinking about it. I am sorry you experienced that. God bless you and your family.
Instantly cried reading this. So sorry for your loss and God bless you and your babies❤
I tried for a homebirth in December and labored for 70+ hours on 4 hours of sleep, ending in an unplanned c-section after not dilating past 2cm at home. While it took me some time to mentally recover and not consider myself "a failure", I am unbelievably grateful for the experience now as it too taught me the lesson that I am indeed NOT in control. Thank you for sharing our birth stories!!
I am so sorry for your pain. 🫂🫂
I have son who is nearly five. I was in labour for a day and night with him. No epidural ( was not available). I had watched breathing techniques on UA-cam and it helped me. During the day I was sitting on a medicine ball and was breathing through contractions all day at my parent's house, but by night time, we had gone to the hospital and I became exhausted and opted for an emergency C-section early in the morning. I also did NOT dilate past 2 cm. The nurses checking me was so painful it made me want a c section even more. It was a very cold atmosphere from the nurses. They told me to " wait 4 more hours" 😳😳😳 my body started shaking as I went into shock.
I am eternally Grateful for the presence of my husband, mom and sister though who looked after me.
I also felt like a failure and went into depression for sometime. Recovery was HARD.
Thank you for telling your story!! I Think its so important to Share all different types of births stories,
You're not a failure. You selflessly took the harder route to get your baby here safely. Alot of women are so determined to give birth "naturally" they refuse any Intervention that could save their baby..
I’ve just had my 3rd baby (1st 2 we’re homebirths) this time round I had really bad pain for days before labour so was exhausted and went to hospital instead. Oh what a different experience!! I refuse to let such a traumatic experience prevent me from having any more babies.
I am a wife & mother, who was once enormously blessed. I met and married a man I love (in my 30's) ... became pregnant easily. Christopher was a bit premature at 7 wks early. For 5 days, I was in the hospital laboring. Not consistently, of course! The doctors were certain they would stop the labor and send me home on bed rest. But as each attempt wore off, labor started again. By a Tues morning, they gave up and said "he's coming." Yes, we knew he was a boy. The doctor actually broke my water and I was told it could still be hours ... but only a couple minutes later, I told the nurse: "I've never given birth before but I feel like I need to push now." The doctor ran back in and within 15 minutes, no epedural, I pushed him out. He was gorgeous! He did need to remain in the hospital longer than normal, and that was tough ... but within 2 weeks we brought him home. Yes, my body has changed (though much of it rebounded, call it good metabolism, call it ADHD, I'm a very active person). We built our home, literally with our own hands and for while, life truly seemed perfect.
But life can't be controlled and nothing is perfect anymore, other than my trust in God. In 2016, when Christopher was not even 8 years old yet, a neurological disorder manifested. He was born with it but we had no clue until symptoms manifested. There had not been newborn screening for this and no one in our family ever had this. At diagnosis, Doctors told us we would lose Christopher within 3 years. My husband and I were in shock, grief, etc. The following years we watched him go from perfect light of Christ, to full care and disabled. We were supported by some, pulled apart by others, and our marriage died.
Yet, I never didn't believe in God. I clung to Him more. I had this moment of complete surrender. I laid on my face, before a photo of the Divine Mercy of Jesus. I said: "God, take my husband. Take our son. Take this house and every earthly blessing you have ever given me. It's okay. With You ... everything will work out as it should." I never understood "Let go and let God" until then. I felt such peace ... even though everything was wrong.
LONG story, still long ... I couldn't tell you how or when ... but things began to heal. My husband and I went for therapy, thinking we need to get along post divorce ... and in the end, did not divorce. We realized ... we love each other. We actually use our pain & shame, to help others. And Christopher, while not miraculously healed ... he's the boy who wasn't supposed to see age 11, yet he turned 15 this year. If you had known him before he got sick, you would know he lived up to his name, which means Christ Bearer. I still don't understand why this happened to him, of all people ... but I do know, God's got this. God is the author of Christopher's story ... not doctors. Not the devil. Christopher isn't finished yet. I don't care for anonymity ... pray for my son. If you want to see his gorgeous face, you can still search "Christopher Gray in Watertown, CT." (or maybe Christopher James Gray). We are not fundraising anymore, donate elsewhere ... but I do use his old GFM as a blog now so people can see how he's grown. Don't get me wrong ... I ache. I still feel like my heart is all taped up. No one calls me Mom anymore. I can't tell you how that hurts. But I am a Mom for the rest of my life. I need to love my family into heaven. Please pray for us. That's all I want. Prayers, prayers, prayers. Much love to anyone who read thru my wordiness. Thank you!!
God bless you and your family. What a beautiful gift. You are fighting the good fight and are exactly right, we must love our families to heaven.❤
Your story really touched my heart. I prayed for you and your family. Your love and total surrender is an example to us all.
@van1593 Thank you! I'm not sure I would say I fought for my marriage, so much as I just gave it to God. Truly. And when we found another couple in a similar boat, we both felt this need to share with them what we had gone thru. And listening to us, it was like their eyes opened. They are still together too. I'm actually thinking about writing a book. I realize ... this happened to us for a reason. God knew I would take this as far as I can.
And of course, life is still hard. While I am a devout Catholic, I'm still human. This year, when Christopher's birthday came, an aunt suggested I buy a cake (even though he can't eat it) and we'll celebrate him. I went to the store and I kept getting stuck in front of a Spider-man cake. Why? Because in my head, Christopher is forever 8 years old. He's still a blue belt in martial arts. He's hilarious and loves to giggle. I hear his voice in my head all the time. Even though today, he is a disabled 15 old, who no longer speaks ... I was mad at the spider man cake! I grabbed a plain, brown cake, and I just cried in the store. And I know my husband is suffering. Christopher had been a momma's boy ... he was finally getting to the age when he wanted to "be like Dad." And with diagnosis, my husband lost that. That's why I share our story whenever and wherever I can. We need all the prayers we can get. Thank you!
@@narutoyondaime14 And your prayers mean so much! Please keep them coming. Thank you!
I’m pregnant with my 4th baby, but soon-to-be 3rd born at end of June. My biggest fear is to end up with a C-section. However, Emily’s description of “This is my body given up for you” in a crucified position giving birth via C-section made me tear up. What an in-depth, profound way to view a C-section. If I’m ever to end up in an emergency C-section, I will view it this way.💛
Currently 38 weeks pregnant with baby number 7. I have been so blessed to be able to birth at home. All 8-10 lbs 😅 I had to pause the video for a moment to say what an inspiration you both are! I am trying to type this through tears after listening to Emily tell Zion that this is her body laid out for him. Is there anything more beautiful on this earth than a mother's love and sacrifice for her baby😭🥰❤️ God bless you lovely women! I will be praying for your births! ❤
Awesome🎉. I don't know how you handle that many kids. I'll be done with two. 😂
Praise Jesus ♥️ God bless you!✝️
Expecting baby #5 All for His glory. God is good.
It's a privilege to be a woman who can bear children no matter the sacrifice it requires. To be that close to the creation of life, I feel closer to God because of it.
Thank you both for sharing this lovely conversation. I’m 19 weeks with my first, I’m 35 and culture tells me I’m old and at risk for so many things, but also my body is not as energetic as it was in my 20s. I have a lot of distrust for the medical system and doctors in general, but hearing your different birth experiences really helps me rest in God’s control and let go of mine. Most of my friends have already had all their kids, and I’m just now starting, which has made me feel alone, but I’m so encouraged to be reminded that I’m not. I’m blessed by this episode. Thanks again.
Exactly the same as you. I'm 37 with a 10 month old. All my friends are done. 😂 I'm just beginning the journey!
You're not too old. Lila is older to so
You aren't alone. I'm 34yo 20 weeks pregnant with my double rainbow baby. I understand what you mean by seeing other women who have had children earlier in life. I try to remember God always has a plan and I know he walks with us and gives us our gifts when we are ready. Sometimes it can be hard to wait but he's here with us and knows what we need. I pray you have an uneventful beautiful pregnancy and a healthy birth❤️
I’m 41 and pregnant with my third! First at 37, second at 39. Every time has been healthy and uneventful.
I will never forget how amazing my husband has been through both of my pregnancies, l&d and pp. The man you choose to have children with is so important.
My best advice for postpartum: Start meal prepping at 36 weeks! Make double the amount of proportions of your dinners for the next 1-2 weeks and store the second batch to freeze. Then reheat those dinners at home when baby has arrived! Has saved me so much time and sanity! Or cut up ingredients, throw them in gallon bags and label them for crockpot meals that can be thrown together for hubby/support system to use.
I'm not even a mother, but I found this conversation to be SO edifying. Emily and Lila are my two favorite women on the internet. I would be delighted if Emily was a more regular guest on the show :)
That is so wonderful to hear. Thank you Phoebe!
I have been a nanny for a decade and I can’t wait to become a mother but I have feared the topics in this discussion. Thank you for helping to put those fears to rest!! Fear of the unknown is the biggest thing for me, but to hear that we are truly not in control when we become mothers is so encouraging. Praying for a smooth and safe delivery of both your precious baby girls 😇✝️💜 God bless you Lila!
Thank you so much for this discussion ❤ I had a very traumatic experience with my firsts birth 8 months ago and needed a c-section. Emily discussing her experience actually brought me so much peace reflecting back on that time and hope for future births. Motherhood has been very challenging so far but it really is about surrender to the Lord. Truly why do we worry? He has our lives in His hands ❤️❤️
I'm so glad the conversation was a little balm for your soul!
“Why do I trust my surgeon more than I trust God” oh man I needed to hear that! I’ve had 3 c sections and preeclampsia and still desire another child but am so scared of the complications that can happen with having another. Doctors just tell me 3 is the limit as a blanket statement for every mother. I just need to trust in God’s will and surrender my fear.
I had 5 c sections. Unfortunately, I never wanted them but due to impatient doctors my first 2 were because of "failure to progress" then they told me I could never try to labor again so the last 3 were scheduled. Couldn't find a vbac supportive OB or midwife that would touch me. Because when a vbac goes bad mom and baby end up dead. Also, even if you have one vbac that didn't guarantee your scar won't open again. It's still a major stress on that scar. But... If they say you healed well then you should have no issues with 1 or 2 more.
Ally beth stuckey was talking about her vba2c. She said she wanted to vbac because she wanted more kids. I don't think she understands how the body works. Once they cut into your uterus, It's cut for life. Any labor is stress on that scar. Whether or not you do deliver vaginally or not after. That is why they recommend sections after even one. The risk of rupture is more during a labor. So if ally had 2 sections and 1 vbac that didn't mean her next attempt at labor her scar wouldn't open. It very well could due to age and the stretching of pregnancy alone.
@@SK-ut6tw yeah mine is a similar story, although I did try for a vbac with my second and ended up with placental abruption during the beginning of labor. Opting for a scheduled c section for my third was because I heard Emily’s testimony on pints with aquinas and I let go of my desire for a natural birth. Good to know there’s other moms out there who have gone beyond the “3 c section limit”
Another story for you! My mom had 4 c sections, no complications! And her first three were in the early 2000’s in Argentina. When she had her third in Argentina the doctor spent hours correcting her adhesions, but she was still able to have a fourth no complications:)
@@MariaValentinaSponar yeah I just had my 5th 7 months ago. My surgeon said minimum scar tissue so if I wanted another baby it would be no problem. So there's hope love.
I have a dear friend who just had her eighth! All were c-sections. This last one was difficult and they had to bring a special team of doctors… but she trusted in God above all else to take care of her and her child and they are both healthy and thriving! God knows when our families are complete and if you are discerning thoroughly and He put it on your heart, who are the drs to say what is right? Praying for you!!
Beautiful dress from Lila, and another beautiful podcast!
I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my double rainbow baby. So happy to see this episode. I hope you have a beautiful birth and maternity leave. Congratulations on your baby girl.
Planning my third home birth, due in July! I enjoyed Ina May Gaskins book and The Bradley Method. Both births so far were around 10-12 hours start to finish.
Amen to the Bradley method. The training we received back in the early 80’s saved me from a Caesarean birth with my first and I went on to have a total of 8 completely natural unmedicated births. I wish more women could receive the training my hubby and I were blessed to have.
Love both these books! Expecting my 3rd anyway now and drawing on this knowledge 😊
This was so beyond encouraging
So glad thanks for listening my friend ❤❤
I'm 10 months postpartum. I was with a fantastic midwife and doula. I always tell people a good doula is completely necessary if you are going unmedicated. I don't think I would have made it without her. You need someone there that is reading your body language, understanding your contractions, knows when to give you water, and help you change positions. My doula is truly the reason I endured! And my bluetooth speaker playing ocean waves the entire time. 😊
Ahhhh!!! My fav I’ve listened to Emily since she was engaged I love her advice and her book! ☺️
Thank you Nikki!
Absolutely!! 😊
I'm glad that I gave my life to Christ when I was a teenager and now I'm gonna be 24 next month. Giving my life to him help me found a wonderful godly hubsand in my life and ready to have our newborn child together. I was disappointed when I had a miscarriage last year, I was very sad and crying and didn't want to eat for a few days but my husband told me that I need to eat something when he made me some chicken noodle soup. We pray together and our relationship and marriage is growing stronger now.
I wish you both safe deliveries as I lay tonight with my 2 month old girl next to me ❤️
Her birth was traumatic for me, my husband and also my mom. Baby was 41 weeks and 5 days and I was induced. Cook catheter made me get to 4cm but it was a painful sleepless night. A nurse yanked it off me without my consent. I wasn’t progressing so I got pitosin which made my contractions longer and more painful but they were still too far apart. They kept upping the dose until the baby’s heart got stressed so they downed the dose and my labor slowed down. I knew it was going to be a while so I got the epidural. They started upping the pitosin again and convinced me them breaking my bag of waters would make things progress. It didn’t. I pushed for 4.5 hours and they saw that the baby was stuck, she was head down but facing the wrong way. Tension was high with my mom and husband as we all had different opinions on some things… So it ended in a c section which was our biggest fear. The meds and the exhaustion had me so out of it I felt delirious. I’m the type of person that can’t sit still and hate being confined and I had so many wires and probes confining me to bed I was feeling like ripping them all off and going home and I sobbed because I knew I had to stay and that there was a whole baby that needed to come out. When they cut me open and I heard her cry for the first time adrenaline rushed through my body and I was awake and clear minded and all I wanted to do is be with her.
We love her so much and she has brought so much joy ❤
I’m so sorry her birth was traumatic. So tough. Congratulations for making it through and your beautiful little one
I gave birth to my 2nd baby in July 2020, so during the madness of covid, but I had a homebirth. No mask, no being alone, actually it was unplanned unassisted and quite amazing praise be to God, but... my heart goes out to those who had a negative birth experience in 2020. It shouldn't have been so.
Hi Lila, I am not a mother yet, but God willing my husband and I will one day, and I loved listening to this episode. Emily is so strong and it was wonderful to listen to her birth experience. God bless your podcast.
Enjoyed this podcast and related to Emily’s birth stories so much as a C-section mama myself.
How beautiful! Prayers for a peaceful birth & postpartum that is filled with gratitude & dignity. Please have Dr. Christopher Stroud and Mary Haseltine on! Love both their perspective on respecting the marriage, family, and the ability of a mother’s body, mind, & spirit.
I love Emily’s passion and energy
Thank you Jacinta
❤😊such a beautiful conversation!
Ahhh!!❤️ another guest that I love!!
Right! It’s like she’s reading our minds God is using Lila in every way!
Just clicked into this video! So good to hear fellow young mothers discussing this whole life process. My son came to my womb two months ago and so far carrying a child has been a sublime experience. I've been mentally preparing myself for the extreme pain at labor since I intend to go without epidural, just the old painful ways so many human females have been through......
Listening to this on a walk trying to encourage baby to come! Expecting my third any day now and also have 2 kids with a miscarriage in between as well. Surprise gender this time. God bless you both!
I had my first birth 6 months ago and I still question if Ive mentally recovered fully from the experience... I had an induction at 40 weeks plus 5 days... I wanted to wait for labor to come but the amniotic fluid was getting low and it was becoming dangerous to wait. So I never went into labor on my own, which bothered me. I did lots of research on birth, took classes, watched videos, practiced breathing and pain relief exercises, etc. but noting prepared me for the induction experience as none of the classes discussed it.
It took 3 days for my son to be born. I wanted to avoid medication but i needed it for so much of the process. Ultimately, i think i felt like a failure and just didnt have the experience i had prepared for... Having to surrender to God is so true. I am a control freak. So having absolutely no control over my body to give birth drove me insane. Absolutely horrific back labor, had internal vaginal tearing from pushing (baby came out hands up) etc... i just wish i had surrendered the process to God more and that i had done more research on induction to be more mentally prepared for the experience. I knew a lot about c-section and was mentally prepared for that, but not for the induction.
They're so good at making us afraid. Do you think after this experience and what you know now, would you just wait for labor next time regardless?
I'm sorry about your experience. Low amniotic fluid is not considered a valid reason for induction by ACOG guidelines. They will find just about any reason to induce. Low amniotic fluid is perfectly normal at the end of pregnancy.
@@Happytown7523depends how low. If she had less than 2 pockets of fluid then no. That isn't safe. Risk of stillbirth goes way up. How do I know? Had it happen at 37 weeks. Went in for decreased fetal movement.Would have lost him if I had waited. Nurses and doctors said I saved him.
@@Happytown7523sorry but you're blatantly wrong about my situation. Fluid levels were becoming dangerously low and showing signs that the placenta was starting to deteriorate. Waiting too much longer could've resulted in a stillborn situation. I'm not mad that I was induced, I just wish I knew more about what that process entailed prior. The hospital I was at was excellent and took great care of me. amazing nurses and staff. I was just totally unprepared for what an induction entails.
Also, I think you need to show more compassion towards OBGYNs. Saying "oh they'll find any reason to induce" is insulting and not true. My OBs took excellent care of me, and I also worked with a team of midwives. They never tried to push me into inducing against my will. They were all hopeful that I would go into labor naturally, and suggested induction ONLY if it was becoming dangerous for me or baby, which it was. I find it rude that you would suggest they're such bad people trying to push an induction on me. Maybe you need to remember that it wasn't long ago that women and babies were dying in childbirth left and right. Modern medicine has fixed that problem. Your 2 seconds of research online doesn't make you qualified to say I didn't need an induction.
@@Ana_Cecilia615no, I wouldn't wait for labor because it was becoming dangerous for the baby. Placenta was showing signs of deterioration. I don't regret choosing to go the safe route and induce. Waiting could've resulted in my baby dying. I just wish I knew more about how inductions work prior to going through the process. I'm someone who always likes to be prepared for things and I just didn't feel prepared because I didn't know. The staff and hospital was excellent and always took my needs and desired into account. They told me I don't HAVE to induce but it's highly recommended. They showed me the stats and told me the decision is up to me. I chose induction to be safe for my baby. And even during the induction process, which took 2 days, I could've gone into labor naturally anytime but I never did. I'm not so sure I ever would've gone into labor on my own. I had absolutely no signs that labor was coming, never even got a contraction on my own. Didn't dilate naturally on my own at all. Baby was in position for weeks but my body never responded to it.
I’m terrified of giving birth again due to a post partum hemorrhage and a different very difficult pregnancy that ended in the loss of twins. I do feel called to have my third child but I’m in this haze of fear worrying about dying and leaving the children I have to pursue another and also the whole financial situation of it. Any advice on surrendering these fears to God?
Praying 4 u ❤
Really appreciate Emily's advice on leaning into the suffering when it comes and meet God there. This is something I've recently discovered too in my years of depression and then bipolar. The best way so far I could have found when facing deep pain, despair, or sadness over someone's death, is feeling that emotion, be in that state, let it come, let myself be as down as I can be, for as long as I need. The time to mourn, really. Mourn over a sad experience, a childhood trauma, an unjust treatment, death, etc. After this process, I often find my wound close....
so beautiful
Welcome Emily! Hope you, your daughter, your husband, and sons are well, Lila! Thank you for continuing the two weekly episodes! Your last episode with Dr. Lauren Rubal about IVF was one of my favorite interviews of the year! Been praying for you on your maternity leave!
"The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral -a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body. . . The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God's creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation. .. What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?"
-Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty
M is for the moan, and the miserable groan
From the pain that she felt when I was born
O is for the oven with it's burning heat
Where she stood making' sure I had something to eat
T is for the time that she stayed up at night
And took my temperature when I wasn't feelin right
H is for the hard earned money she spent
To keep clothes on my back and try to pay da rent
E is for every wrinkle I put on her face
And every worry that I caused when I stayed out late
The last letter R is that She taught me Respect
And for the room in Heaven that I know she'll get
-Mr. T
Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful Happy Fun Faith-over-Fear Family Friday, Lila!
When Mother Mary was pregnant with Jesus, she went on an about eighty mile joyous journey to visit her cousin Elizabeth in her hour of need, Elizabeth said referencing her tiny child in her womb John the Baptist who was conceived when she was in old age:
Luke 1:41-44 When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
What an amazing episode! Love the wisdom and spiritual encouragement from Emily Wilson . Thank you both for sharing your experiences and encouragement to all mothers and mothers to be. I have found the lessons learned to be powerful thoughts and prayers to keep in mind during these times of childrearing. Very much appreciated, God bless you both for your loving ministries. Prayers to you both in your pregnancies, deliveries, and postpartum journeys. ✝️🙏🏼❤️ With love, your sister in Christ.
Thank you so much! -Emily
Loved this podcast such a well of wisdom to learn from specially surrendering in those moments out of our control like birth, postpardum, breast feeding, etc.!
love the pregnant bellies
Loved this episode❤
Lila I wish you a safe delivery. We are looking forward to your return. There is this story that just broke of a teen with Down syndrome who beat the record at the London marathon. Perhaps you can cover this? It will encourage women who out of fear or pressure are considering aborting babies diagnosed of Down syndrome or similar issues in utero.
I was wondering if you could have the author Megan Nix, the author of Remedies for Sorrow about motherhood and finding meaning in suffering.
Brain surgeries are also performed on conscious patients:)
I never understood elected C-sections. Why would you willingly subject your baby to higher risk of infection, longer recovery, inhibited bonding, personality issues, etc... calm down, I'm referring to the research literature. I'm sure your super specific occurrence was 1000% necessary, resulted in perfect bonding, zero issues breastfeeding, and you were able to close any gaps and raise a well-adjusted child, good for you! Please don't misunderstood this as a personal attack... I just have found that most parents who endure c-sections are often quite uneducated in the risks, the drop in fertility or risks to future pregnancies, the potential disorders or pain from the scarring, etc. It really should be a last resort, not a first choice of convenience.
From what I heard from Emily's experience, her first baby got stuck trying to be delivered naturally the first time, and she had to have an emergency c-section to get him out. She said big babies run in her family. So for the next ones, she elected to have a c-section, knowing that the same scenario would probably happen again. Good thing we have modern medicine to deliver big babies that would otherwise die and potentially cause the mom to die too.
Motherhood is something I know right now I am not ready for. But I do believe that if this is god's plan for me , he will make it happen at the time he has chosen for me.
❤❤❤❤ from Ethiopia
Salutations from Europe. Here we still have a clear focus on spontaneous vaginal birth if possible and I had 2 aqua deliveries of 2 big healthy boys as I was 33 and then 35 years old.
❤
I don't know, I found the conversation around post partum and no support to be pretty weak in this cast. I love your podcast, Lila Rose, but I don't think that there was a lot of valuable information around these serious subjects here. It was almost cringy. All I heard was everything's fine, everything's normal, it's okay to feel the way you do, etc. But that is not advice for women who are in those predicaments. I also don't think that was what you were hoping to get at with your questions. The questions were well posed, but the responses were idealized and oversimplified. Too bad the opportunity to deliver some real content was missed on this one.
I am too scared to give birth and to have children 😬Sometimes I think that caring for tiny human being and being responsible for it while it grows to an adult is a really amazing thing. Maybe its best not because I have a genetic disorder, no fun creating another life who suffers from physical pain all the time. Sorry kid, no cure.🧬
Why we trust our surgeons more than we trust God? Well, I can say I don't trust my surgeons 😅
Exactly 😂I was like huh you crazy? I don’t trust anyone!