I hired a "lawyer" to review my viewers dating profiles

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  • Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
  • DISCLAIMER: PARKZER IS NOT A LAWYER
    Streaming live on Twitch! / dougdoug
    Full stream recording: • Valentines Day with Pa...
    MAIN CHANNEL: / gloudas
    TWITTER: / dougdougfood
    Edited by Mckl! mikeremer.wixs...
    Main Channel Playlists:
    Latest Uploads: • Latest Uploads | DougDoug
    Explained with Food: • Explained with Food | ...
    Gaming Challenges: • DougDoug Gaming Challe...
    Popular Videos: • Popular Videos | DougDoug
    Music Credits (in order of appearance):
    Ring Fit Adventure - Fitness Gym
    Zelda Skyward Sword - Opening
    Zelda Wind Waker - Outset Island
    Yakuza Like a Dragon - Apathy 3
    SimCity 3000 - Concrete Jungle
    Skullgirls - Clear Breeze
    Mario Kart 8 - Dolphin Shoals
    Bayonetta - Magical Sound Shower Out Run
    Bowser's Fury - Lake Lapcat Theme
    Pokemon Sword Shield - Slumbering Weald Theme
    Spyro A Hero's Tail - Dragon Village (Beta Version)
    Bowser's Fury - Plessie Ride
    Sonic Colors - Aquarium Park (Act 3)
    Zelda Wind Waker - Dragon Roost Island
    Super Mario Galaxy - Honeybee Kingdom
    Mario Strikers Charged - Pause Menu
    Skullgirls - Pedestrians Crossing
    Super Mario Sunshine - Noki Bay
    Guilty Gear Strive - Countermove
    Dual Destinies - Suspicious People
    Super Mario Odyssey - Staff Roll
    Sly Cooper 2 - Episode Select
    Persona 5 - Butterfly Kiss
    Astral Chain - Awakening
    Kirby Triple Deluxe - Dededes Royal Payback
    Persona 5 - Escape
    Astral Chain - Suspense
    freesound.org/...
    About DougDoug:
    Doug is a sentient bell pepper who was hired by the FBI to crack gaming challenges and also talk about things with food
    #DougDoug #DougDougDoug #Parkzer

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,5 тис.

  • @matti.8465
    @matti.8465 Рік тому +11794

    I love how despite being close friends, Parkzer always talks to Doug as if he was speaking to a client. It's like Doug picked a random lawyer from the street.

    • @preistestdragon4634
      @preistestdragon4634 Рік тому +737

      where else was he supposed to source a lawyer from?

    • @monkedude
      @monkedude Рік тому +287

      @@preistestdragon4634 Saul Goodman

    • @FlareBlitzBanana
      @FlareBlitzBanana Рік тому

      @@monkedude Saul already worked against him in the conquest for America. Doug still holds a grudge to this day.

    • @nb_oovanboi7750
      @nb_oovanboi7750 Рік тому +134

      or maybe even a random police officer

    • @tundcwe123
      @tundcwe123 Рік тому +131

      Wait, you are telling me that he did not pick a random lawyer from the street for that stream?

  • @theblackunicorn261
    @theblackunicorn261 Рік тому +5720

    Parkzer perfectly balances the line between "Perfectly normal everyday person" and "Alien who landed on earth 24 minutes ago"

    • @CallMeRivanX
      @CallMeRivanX 11 місяців тому +196

      He's just an alien that landed on Earth 5 years ago or smth like that

    • @TjokoCow
      @TjokoCow 9 місяців тому +46

      i think thats called autis-----

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 8 місяців тому +172

      @@TjokoCowAutism, you can say it, it’s not a slur

    • @TjokoCow
      @TjokoCow 8 місяців тому +17

      Imp not saying it bc its rude to assume neurodivergence jus cuz they are strange@@DeathnoteBB

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 8 місяців тому +152

      @@TjokoCow Okay then don’t say it… You pretty clearly where saying it though. Also it’s more rude to call someone “strange” for seeming ND

  • @Bri-tt1pj
    @Bri-tt1pj Рік тому +7330

    We all better hope that Parkzer never makes a dating profile, no one else will stand a chance

    • @spawikcmnsu7137
      @spawikcmnsu7137 Рік тому +39

      really hope this gets top comment

    • @HiyaJemma
      @HiyaJemma Рік тому +5

      true

    • @brycemcneill6637
      @brycemcneill6637 Рік тому +2

      true

    • @ICantThinkOfAFunnyHandle
      @ICantThinkOfAFunnyHandle Рік тому +62

      Those goldfish never stood a chance

    • @thethingcalledlisa
      @thethingcalledlisa Рік тому +69

      I hope he never does anything because he's better than everyone else at most things, I'm scared he'll try to become the main character so that chat has to join Doug as a side character

  • @joeyburkhart6602
    @joeyburkhart6602 Рік тому +4722

    I love the fact that Parkzer takes everything so seriously.
    "Hi, Billy Mays here-"
    "Hello Billy Mays."

  • @lyvectra8442
    @lyvectra8442 Рік тому +2050

    "Isn't rizz strictly sexual?"
    "He's in a watermelon!"
    That clears it up, thank you.

  • @cycled9073
    @cycled9073 Рік тому +8838

    If Parkzer got married he could be his own wedding officiant, marriage counselor, and divorce attorney. What a legend.

    • @dauntingkitty
      @dauntingkitty Рік тому +481

      He can also shoot his ex-spouse because he’s a cop with a gun

    • @ender8124
      @ender8124 Рік тому +345

      ​@@dauntingkitty then run his own prosecution and defense

    • @dm98five
      @dm98five Рік тому +234

      @@ender8124 and execution

    • @larrybird6860
      @larrybird6860 Рік тому +197

      @@ender8124 and prison breakout

    • @ashb7
      @ashb7 Рік тому +180

      @@larrybird6860 and international manhunt

  • @Orillion123456
    @Orillion123456 Рік тому +7495

    "My eyes are up here."
    "And your bare chest is down there."
    Parkzer is truly a gift to the world.

    • @heart_less1259
      @heart_less1259 Рік тому +305

      Actually sounds like a joke in a sitcom

    • @mariotheundying
      @mariotheundying Рік тому +155

      "Umm, my eyes are up here?"
      "Yeah, and your bosom is down there."

  • @jeridon6081
    @jeridon6081 Рік тому +3849

    It will never not be funny how Parkzer seems to perpetually exist in a undefined super-state between the most normal Straight-Man type dude who has no care for any sort of funny business whatsoever, and also the most incomprehensible alien being who appears to have lived on Mars for his entire adult life and has no concept of human society

  • @ONE-vt1fz
    @ONE-vt1fz Рік тому +5357

    I love how parkzer is always like “I’m not a lawyer” and then proceeds to perfectly explain complex legal concepts

    • @sakuucchan
      @sakuucchan 11 місяців тому +82

      @@AlterationA Heh. Weed.

    • @21bucks
      @21bucks 11 місяців тому +48

      @@sakuucchan Heh. Weed.

    • @Stampyboyz
      @Stampyboyz 11 місяців тому +30

      @@21bucks​⁠​⁠ Heh. Weed.

    • @BigDuckieMan
      @BigDuckieMan 10 місяців тому +28

      @@Stampyboyz Heh. Weed.

    • @Amirrorofmirrors
      @Amirrorofmirrors 10 місяців тому +18

      @@AlterationAHeh. Weed.

  • @spiderdude2099
    @spiderdude2099 Рік тому +3282

    "Just because he likes sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
    Your loss Parkzer

    • @AlinaAniretake
      @AlinaAniretake Рік тому

      Coward :)

    • @TheGrumbliestPuppy
      @TheGrumbliestPuppy 11 місяців тому +10

      Is Parkzer gay? I legit can't tell.

    • @spiderdude2099
      @spiderdude2099 11 місяців тому +49

      @@TheGrumbliestPuppy honestly, if I had to put forth headcanon, id say he’s asexual

    • @platinumfactor
      @platinumfactor 11 місяців тому +215

      ​@@spiderdude2099i personally wouldn't headcanon a real person's sexuality, but go off ig

    • @spiderdude2099
      @spiderdude2099 11 місяців тому +37

      @@platinumfactor it’s not based on nothing. Parkzer has expressed being at least demisexual, as in he doesn’t feel attraction until he gets to know someone. So, who knows? He’s at the very least Demisexual, but I also kinda get asexual vibes from him. It doesn’t really matter what I think tho.

  • @FriendlyArin
    @FriendlyArin Рік тому +10778

    Parkzer is such a strange human being, how can one man be so many things? A lawyer, cop, pornstar, manager, gun owner, Doug's gay lover, and a dating expert! Everytime he shows up I scream he is too powerful

  • @gremlinman9724
    @gremlinman9724 Рік тому +1874

    i do so deeply love that parkzer is always the most sane person in the room but also simultaneously never knows anything

    • @yorkkato
      @yorkkato Рік тому +203

      Granted, when Doug and Chat are the only other people in the room, the bar of sanity is low

    • @TurbopropPuppy
      @TurbopropPuppy Рік тому +36

      he is just a Normal Guy he doesn't know anything about vocaloids or memes and that's beautiful

    • @profblack
      @profblack 3 місяці тому +1

      And yet he somehow also seems to know everything.

    • @Justapikachu577
      @Justapikachu577 3 місяці тому +2

      He knows so much about the law but if you ask him anything about social norms or any media ever he will start loading in real time.

  • @Yuti640
    @Yuti640 Рік тому +4861

    It’s always so fun to see Doug’s insanity mix with Parkzer’s purely grounded existence

    • @JoeLikesBlue
      @JoeLikesBlue Рік тому +240

      The Ultimate Straight Man xd

    • @jenske2881
      @jenske2881 Рік тому

      Doug is like the gayest straight man ever and parkzer is like the straightest gay man ever he is like the most insane person out of the 2 of them because he just talks in a psychotic way

    • @Number.1Yanfei.Fan123
      @Number.1Yanfei.Fan123 Рік тому +170

      Straight man vs funny man splatfest is real and they are cooperating

    • @billnye8760
      @billnye8760 Рік тому +4

      @@JoeLikesBlue 25:22 truuuue

    • @nagitoaussiemandias
      @nagitoaussiemandias Рік тому +22

      @@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123 Parkzer vs Dougdoug vs Chat splatfest when?

  • @williamwright9028
    @williamwright9028 Рік тому +1778

    I love how parkzer is chronically annoyed at things that don't make sense

    • @bruhmodeactive3211
      @bruhmodeactive3211 Рік тому +39

      I know this doesn't won't sound good nor nice but he has big bang sheldon vibes

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Рік тому +67

      @@bruhmodeactive3211that is deeply insulting and you should immediately apologize.

    • @bruhmodeactive3211
      @bruhmodeactive3211 Рік тому +23

      @@lordfelidae4505 I said what I said but I'm sorry bout that

    • @NerdTheDemon
      @NerdTheDemon 11 місяців тому +13

      ​@@bruhmodeactive3211I hate how accurate this is.

    • @destinyvoltaire
      @destinyvoltaire 9 місяців тому +29

      ​@@bruhmodeactive3211That is so many words to avoid saying autistic.

  • @marleonka.
    @marleonka. 11 місяців тому +541

    I adore how Parkzer and Doug give off the most "married" but also "strangers" energy ever

  • @bruh-vp1fp
    @bruh-vp1fp Рік тому +4057

    I love how Parkzer is either way too into the joke or legitimately completely lost in the sauce with the inside jokes of both doug and chat.

    • @matteofaccin6636
      @matteofaccin6636 Рік тому +281

      Parkzer half the time: "That is incorrect"
      Parkzer the other half of the time: "Even your dog!"

    • @pranksinatra2755
      @pranksinatra2755 Рік тому +70

      i think he might be on the spectrum a bit.

    • @TheUnderscore_
      @TheUnderscore_ Рік тому +45

      @@pranksinatra2755Vibes I got as well. Definitely very high-functioning though.

    • @CanItTookann
      @CanItTookann Рік тому +9

      @@TheUnderscore_what? 😭

    • @smwatertasteslikewater
      @smwatertasteslikewater Рік тому +28

      @@TheUnderscore_stop using the terms high and low functioning

  • @masterplusmargarita
    @masterplusmargarita Рік тому +1673

    The genuine offense Parkzer seems to feel when he thinks Doug is saying he ate a screwdriver when he was 6 years old is what gives me the energy to keep living.

    • @sillyalert14
      @sillyalert14 Рік тому +33

      hes the best omg

    • @snipingsloth1053
      @snipingsloth1053 Рік тому +8

      His innocence must be preserved 😂

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile Рік тому +14

      makes me laugh so hard. he's completely taken aback. you'd think the name was like "fecalsnot" or something from that reaction

    • @truecrisp
      @truecrisp Рік тому +6

      6:32

    • @donofdeaths
      @donofdeaths Рік тому +2

      @@truecrisp MVP

  • @testedhawk
    @testedhawk Рік тому +3663

    Parkzer speaks so slowly and meticulously as if he'll be sued or cancelled every time he opens his mouth

    • @Y0G0FU
      @Y0G0FU Рік тому +361

      Hes a lawyer in Training... thats what he learns haha

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 Рік тому

      I'm fairly certain that Parkzer is very autistic. That would explain the way he speaks. Autistic people tend to have more trouble communicating and so learn to talk very clearly young to be understood.

    • @olive4200
      @olive4200 Рік тому +519

      parkzer does speak like he knows he's being watched 24/7 by a team of lawyers who're ready to sue him the moment he says something vaguely untrue

    • @ohgodohnothebees
      @ohgodohnothebees Рік тому +55

      ​@@olive4200 He is.

    • @solomonchild3398
      @solomonchild3398 Рік тому +20

      ​@@ohgodohnothebees he's got his eyes on that Character and Fitness test

  • @BierBart12
    @BierBart12 Рік тому +711

    Parkzer, the Taekwondo master: "There is no belt system for guns"
    His sheer martial power has made him forget about belt-fed guns

  • @hastyscorpion
    @hastyscorpion Рік тому +800

    The straight man funny man duo once again proves why it has been working 100s of years, You guys are truly a modern day Abbot and Costello

    • @bruhmodeactive3211
      @bruhmodeactive3211 Рік тому +116

      Doug: who is on first
      Parkzer: who is on first??
      Doug: correct
      Parkzer: you didn't answer the question

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Рік тому +19

      @@bruhmodeactive3211very in character.

  • @TheDool
    @TheDool Рік тому +4706

    Parkzer is the most conventionally boring but unique person ive ever seen. Bless this man, he is a gem.

  • @kingofspades110
    @kingofspades110 Рік тому +1781

    Parkzer is such an enigma of a human being, I love him dearly

    • @coins_png
      @coins_png Рік тому +72

      he's such a fine specimen

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 Рік тому

      I'd bet money that Parkzer is severely autistic. I both am and have known very autistic people and his body language is familiar to me. That little way he sort of bobs his head a bit, I dunno how to describe it, but it's something I've seen in every strongly autistic person I've met. I really respect Doug's chat for all appreciating him and including him rather than picking on him.

    • @hopsys
      @hopsys Рік тому +48

      He's anything but an enigma, though, isn't he? He's completely blunt and open about who he is and what his values are.

    • @traceable7875
      @traceable7875 Рік тому +90

      @@hopsys the point isn’t that it’s hard to figure out what he is, it’s just that his interests and personality seems very strange compared to the conventional average.

    • @fragilistico
      @fragilistico Рік тому +40

      @@hopsys I think they refer to the enigma that is Parkzer's mind, not that he *is* enigmatic

  • @seamusburke3350
    @seamusburke3350 Рік тому +529

    "It's not that I'm afraid of the water, it's that I tend to sink" is an incredible line

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 Рік тому +52

      I think it isn't the a line or a hook, but a sinker.

  • @ulyssesdamon3408
    @ulyssesdamon3408 Рік тому +364

    As a new person to Parkzer (mainly watched the chat runs), the energy these to give off to each other is true friendship. Its like Doug is there to torment Parkzer and Parkzer has just accepted his fate.

  • @corbinpearce7686
    @corbinpearce7686 Рік тому +520

    Parkzer blesses us with supreme sanity. “How am I supposed to make a decision with just this information”
    Amen brother, dating apps are a dumpster fire.

    • @e.m.2168
      @e.m.2168 Рік тому +48

      Tbf, the decision isn’t “would I date this person”, it’s “do I want to talk to this person” and then based on that decide on dating or not

    • @jotarogoosjo.1582
      @jotarogoosjo.1582 Рік тому +63

      I'm gonna be honest with you here, sometimes what's put in there isn't enough for 'Would I talk to this person?' either.

    • @anastasiao4036
      @anastasiao4036 5 місяців тому

      @@jotarogoosjo.1582 At most, the information put in the dating apps are for "Should I avoid this person if I see them on the street?"

  • @Tajealos
    @Tajealos Рік тому +1071

    Doug and Parkzer are like the two halves of the brain but as whole people, and watching them interact is fantastic

    • @bruhmodeactive3211
      @bruhmodeactive3211 Рік тому +42

      The left and right brain

    • @naomiagan4710
      @naomiagan4710 9 місяців тому +12

      Doug is the intrusive thoughts part of the brain and Parkzer is the logic that keeps you from giving in to those thoughts

    • @odwrksboxedtrash3730
      @odwrksboxedtrash3730 8 місяців тому +1

      The problem with the personification of intrusive thoughts is that without the suppressive conscience, that thing is going to continue to act on every single "intrusive" thought it has.

  • @buggibii
    @buggibii Рік тому +3186

    The way Parkzer says _"Douglas"_ with his entire chest exudes a -sexual- lawyer energy.

  • @nicknack512
    @nicknack512 Рік тому +1761

    Parkzer is my favorite lawyer, especially when he’s trying to breed with a goldfish

    • @HEX_17
      @HEX_17 Рік тому +33

      That’s my favorite thing he does

    • @ZachsOnQuack
      @ZachsOnQuack Рік тому +4

      You mean your favorite koala

    • @TheSavage303
      @TheSavage303 Рік тому +2

      ​@@ZachsOnQuack koala lawyer

  • @pyguy7
    @pyguy7 Рік тому +509

    Parkzor is a phenomenon where him being a "Lawyer in training" somehow makes him truly more powerful than any actual full lawyer.

  • @eggnognorth5383
    @eggnognorth5383 Рік тому +413

    I love how confused parkzer was at a drink being named "Screwdriver", as someone who knows the story(Coal miners had orange juice rations while alchohal was prohibited and so they mixed vodka into thier orange juice and mixed it with screwdrivers) it is hilarious how upset he is.

    • @JorgetePanete
      @JorgetePanete 9 місяців тому +9

      alchohal

    • @JorgetePanete
      @JorgetePanete 9 місяців тому +16

      hmm yes if i mix coffee with a spoon i'm drinking a spoon

    • @lukeboy8081
      @lukeboy8081 7 місяців тому +8

      Why are you like this?​@@JorgetePanete

    • @fuy1648
      @fuy1648 6 місяців тому

      ​@@lukeboy8081Wdym?

  • @DapperCrap
    @DapperCrap Рік тому +1569

    Parkzer: Isn’t “rizz” strictly sexual?
    Doug: *It’s in a watermelon.*

  • @alphanoodle1877
    @alphanoodle1877 Рік тому +1203

    Parkzer feels like a AI generated human based solely off people from the 80s

    • @lemontree9518
      @lemontree9518 Рік тому +84

      this is what peak peformance looks like

    • @Orillion123456
      @Orillion123456 Рік тому +245

      No way an AI could generate something as sophisticated as parkzer. He was definitely carefully handcrafted by a team of scientists.

    • @nevaeh9125
      @nevaeh9125 Рік тому +57

      ​@@Orillion123456 grown in a lab

    • @mrself5824
      @mrself5824 Рік тому +11

      Parkzer is the default human you see when you would see if created a human character.

    • @Orillion123456
      @Orillion123456 Рік тому +8

      @@mrself5824 That is a very strange statement to make about an extremely exceptional person like parkzer.

  • @Alice-un3kq
    @Alice-un3kq Рік тому +448

    I legitimately cannot tell if Parkzer is a master troll or not. He knows so many things and yet he doesn't. It really makes you think

    • @placeholderdoe
      @placeholderdoe Рік тому +8

      He is *THE* master troll

    • @stevenbobbybills
      @stevenbobbybills Рік тому +21

      He wiped out his entire memory bank clear of anything that isn't laws.

    • @Levi_is_Smol
      @Levi_is_Smol Рік тому

      Honestly, he feels a bit autistic to me. Has his very special interests while being absolutely unknowing about almost anything else. Takes things very literally and doesn't understand a lot of jokes.

    • @jackuval9362
      @jackuval9362 5 місяців тому +5

      definitely not trolling, and if you need proof it's in the calendaring of events. He reminds me a lot of one person I know in particular, and he is 100% legit

  • @undeniablySomeGuy
    @undeniablySomeGuy Рік тому +451

    10:19 This is something that lots of people need to hear in dating advice. Preferences and interests, while a decent starting point, are usually an ultimately unimportant aspect of your chemistry with another person. Hell, take Dougdoug and Parkzer. They have so little in common in terms of surface traits that people usually put on a dating profile, but there are things keeping them together that go deeper than that.
    When you have some things in common with someone, but have a decent amount that is different, there will be a lot to talk about. Common ground is safety, but differences are interesting and discussion worthy.

    • @inaneinacheve
      @inaneinacheve Рік тому +72

      You're absolutely right. You can have people that play games in the same room, and they can play the same game, but still have little to talk about because of their personalities

    • @jackuval9362
      @jackuval9362 5 місяців тому

      why is this so far down?? Real shit man

    • @InTheSky521
      @InTheSky521 8 днів тому

      While they definitely aren't the be all and end all, saying that they're unimportant is only true for some people. Some people genuinely can't connect if there's 0 mutual interest in something and there's nothing wrong with that.

  • @Brainlers
    @Brainlers Рік тому +245

    I’m so glad parkzer finally decided to collab with someone, even if it’s with this random guy no one’s ever met I’m still glad it happened, 10/10 video

    • @crumpet-enjoyer
      @crumpet-enjoyer Рік тому

      .

    • @Brainlers
      @Brainlers Рік тому +8

      @@crumpet-enjoyer excuse me I wasn’t talking about parkzer I was talking about the other dude,

    • @Brainlers
      @Brainlers Рік тому +7

      @@crumpet-enjoyer so how about you read the text before you try to correct me

    • @Brainlers
      @Brainlers Рік тому +9

      he deleted his comment lmao

    • @dominusanuli3595
      @dominusanuli3595 Рік тому +3

      @@Brainlerswho

  • @Abeabonation
    @Abeabonation Рік тому +885

    Parkzer: "Will you please listen? I'm not a lawyer!"
    Doug & Chat: "HE IS A LAWYER!"

    • @dogk2121
      @dogk2121 Рік тому +7

      Yeah that’s what happened

    • @alainbcdefghijk
      @alainbcdefghijk Рік тому +6

      That's exactly what a lawyer would say!

  • @ballondeplage
    @ballondeplage Рік тому +801

    Parkzer must be protected at all costs, he's a treasure we cannot lose in the divorce 😭

  • @Daibana
    @Daibana Рік тому +461

    Parkzer is the ultimate straight man of any comedy duo

    • @p_ttown1979
      @p_ttown1979 Рік тому +14

      this. this right here. nailed it right on the head

  • @poppajournee8323
    @poppajournee8323 Рік тому +193

    These two characters are equally starnge and enigmatic. Doug and Parkzer are a friendship made in heaven

    • @No.Yes..
      @No.Yes.. Рік тому +3

      Poppajournee8323, you were two Steps late. Your Jojo Reference was your only weakness.

  • @grandbean9031
    @grandbean9031 Рік тому +111

    I am convinced Parkzer is an 15th century middle aged Japanese man that's been isekaid into today's world and had a yokai tell him if he ever admits to it, he'd end the world so he has to always angrily and disappointedly try to answer everything in the most straight forward way to not get people suspicious.

  • @stefanlanger8271
    @stefanlanger8271 Рік тому +302

    Best line is “Douglas Douglas”
    The fact that Doug and Parkzer have such conflicting personalities on stream is an amazing dynamic.

    • @blakksheep736
      @blakksheep736 Рік тому +3

      He greets him like that all the time btw.

  • @Aimlesswaves.
    @Aimlesswaves. Рік тому +1109

    Parkzer is the strongest "straight man" I've ever seen.
    (In a comedy aspect, not sexual preference aspect.)

    • @SoMSoMreal
      @SoMSoMreal Рік тому +72

      I mean that as well

    • @nikkoa.3639
      @nikkoa.3639 Рік тому +78

      He is probably the strongest straight man I've seen in a sexual preference aspect too

    • @goodnight4u
      @goodnight4u Рік тому +67

      Agreed. Definitely a top contender for strongest straight man in a geometric aspect.

    • @_.Dylan._
      @_.Dylan._ Рік тому +27

      He is one of the strongest straight men in a fire aspect

    • @bidoof367
      @bidoof367 Рік тому +25

      he's the strongest straight man in an aspect ratio for sure

  • @krazy_w4fflez611
    @krazy_w4fflez611 Рік тому +270

    "Maybe I was screw-driven as a 6 year old" god I love everything that Parkzer says

  • @trexnotsmart4747
    @trexnotsmart4747 Рік тому +99

    Its fucking hilarious how parkzer was more interested in the squirrel video than the dating profiles

  • @pip8175
    @pip8175 Рік тому +553

    i feel like parkzer is so aggressively neurodivergent its like I'm talking through him he is saying exactly what i would say

    • @a_literal_crow
      @a_literal_crow Рік тому +118

      I was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago, and I see so much of myself in Parkzer.

    • @greenbeepm
      @greenbeepm Рік тому +83

      @@a_literal_crow i thought you said digested with autism, thank you for the laugh

    • @a_literal_crow
      @a_literal_crow Рік тому

      @@greenbeepm true, I consumed the autism to become the autism

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Рік тому

      @@greenbeepmwell when you’re diagnosed later in life, I’d imagine you need to digest that shift in self image for a bit.

    • @bluishwolf
      @bluishwolf 11 місяців тому

      @@greenbeepm Would that be eating yourself?

  • @bemybff205
    @bemybff205 Рік тому +542

    For Parkzer, Valentine's isn't just a day it's a state of being. The man oozes rizz

  • @JEnduro
    @JEnduro Рік тому +328

    my favorite thing with Parkzer is I am never sure if he gets the joke or is just an IRL comedic straightman

    • @order60000000000
      @order60000000000 Рік тому +37

      Both, both is good.

    • @kestrelynn
      @kestrelynn Рік тому +30

      Yep, both, he 100% gets the joke and is also an irl comedic, and possibly literal, straight man

  • @stevenbigfist1346
    @stevenbigfist1346 Рік тому +273

    Parkzer is such an enigma, one second he is a cop then a gun owning attorney, And now a pornstar consultant who is deathly afraid of water. We should all aspire to be this man.

    • @malknight4197
      @malknight4197 Рік тому +2

      he's not afraid of water, he just... sinks

  • @E-MAN979
    @E-MAN979 Рік тому +123

    I love how Parkzer is uncomfortable with with certain very normal things, but has a completely different experience with stuff that’s not normal.

  • @sifsroyalguard7322
    @sifsroyalguard7322 Рік тому +86

    I want to have a hour long conversation with Parkzer about taxes, economics, and culinary arts now.

  • @tarvitz
    @tarvitz Рік тому +861

    Finally, a cure for our collective divorce

  • @Tuntor689
    @Tuntor689 Рік тому +387

    Fascinating how Parkzer was given media he enjoys and immediately started gaining a short attention span.

    • @wikbon
      @wikbon Рік тому +16

      nice catch, nice thought

    • @anotherhenry7895
      @anotherhenry7895 Рік тому +9

      you mean squirrels and chipmunks ?

  • @JP12345
    @JP12345 Рік тому +85

    I love how Parkser is just like a normal guy, it really highlights Doug's insanity and adds so much contrast

    • @jd1800
      @jd1800 Рік тому +7

      Doug is much more normal aside from the olive oil.

    • @cranberrys6921
      @cranberrys6921 9 місяців тому +3

      I’d like to say in todays day and age, Doug is the more normal of the two.

  • @billyharris2794
    @billyharris2794 Рік тому +30

    Linguistics lesson: -"Rizz" is short for Charisma. Y'know, cha-rizz-ma.
    -"Hits" is short for "Hits the spot". So "hits different" means it hits the spot better than other foods and "doesn't hit the same" means it doesn't hit the spot as much as it used to. Can also be used the same way in a non-food context.
    -"Rips ass" means farts

  • @addama
    @addama Рік тому +349

    The Doug-Parkzer Dynamic: Doug implies something incorrect for comedic effect; Parkzer reminds Doug that the statement was, in fact, incorrect, but only half of the time for comedic effect. This is why they work so well together, like puzzle pieces cut from the same mold.

  • @shinysilverstardust
    @shinysilverstardust Рік тому +199

    We need a f*cking sitcom with these two.

    • @liamw6976
      @liamw6976 Рік тому +26

      I would watch the HELL out of that sitcom

    • @idontneedaname318
      @idontneedaname318 Рік тому +2

      It would be genuinely incredible

  • @Shpeedle
    @Shpeedle Рік тому +266

    Parkzer immediately pointing out dating app flaws is hilarious even though he is the master of dating

  • @Sonatengraf
    @Sonatengraf Рік тому +107

    This gets better every few minutes. Parkzer is so relatable. I love how he reacts so purely and honestly to _dating apps._ Then, we find out that he is a not-formally-educated legal consultant who works in the porn industry? But later, the money quote: “What is an embedded software engineer?” - “Like, he's very sleepy”. Amazing. Then, a shallow dive into the GDPR. What?! Luckily, Josh seems to reside in the USA, and the GDPR only applies within the EEA. You're safe, Josh! Later, we get some inside into US-American taxes, or so we are led to believe, and it turns out DouglasDouglas edited Parkzer's advice into a meme. I absolutely adore that Parkzer tracks his activities in his calendar. There's some information on the right time to re-finance loans. Thanks, Parkzer! I hope you take over this rotten channel soon, after DouglasDouglas gets convicted for locking D-colon in the basement.

  • @Neon-ws8er
    @Neon-ws8er Рік тому +199

    i actually refuse to believe that there is a man as normal and healthy as parkzer in the world

    • @rugbug531
      @rugbug531 7 місяців тому +1

      I don’t know if I would call that man normal and healthy. I mean I guess you COULD…

    • @Drippy_Jesus
      @Drippy_Jesus 5 місяців тому +1

      @@rugbug531 He is the PINNACLE of normal and healthy.

  • @c.m.9369
    @c.m.9369 Рік тому +358

    Parkzer and Doug are like two characters from completely different movie genres interacting.
    It‘s like Parkzer is from a dry, realistic human drama…
    And Doug is from a surreal cartoon!

    • @placeholderdoe
      @placeholderdoe Рік тому +5

      Parkzer is the main character in a game while Doug is a random enemy

    • @Jr837_
      @Jr837_ Рік тому +10

      Parkzer is from Sherlock Holmes, while Doug is from Spongebob

  • @WildCardIsAces
    @WildCardIsAces Рік тому +433

    Parkzer: "If you are a straight man, do not attempt to date me."
    So you're saying a gay man has a chance?

  • @maxxbmd
    @maxxbmd Рік тому +250

    First a bunny suit, and then a unicorn costume. Is there something DougDougDoug wants to tell us?

  • @zgredczwartyniesamowity363
    @zgredczwartyniesamowity363 Рік тому +34

    Parkzer is like an alien that learned human customes from legal documents and try to understand in real life.

  • @Nik_M11
    @Nik_M11 Рік тому +88

    I didn't laugh this hard in a while.. love the dynamic these two have together. Parkzer is genuinely so wholesome, Doug delivering so many funny comments with a straight face is hilarious as well

  • @robotortoise
    @robotortoise Рік тому +947

    I'm autistic, and the relationship Parker has with Doug is the exact relationship I have with my neurotypical friends. It's absolutely great, lol.

    • @GolenCheeseIt
      @GolenCheeseIt Рік тому

      Parkzer* How could you possibly miss-spell his name like that?
      What're you, autistic? Oh wait...

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 Рік тому +280

      I love the way chat really loves and respects Parkzer while teasing him just enough to get a reaction. It's great to see. Mobs are not often kind to severely autistic people.

    • @robotortoise
      @robotortoise Рік тому +1

      @@discordlexia2429 Yeah! I'm not sure if he's autistic or not (I don't want to diagnose strangers!) but damn, I legitimately adore how he and the chat are so respectful with each other.
      You can tell he's getting as much of a kick out of this as Doug is.

    • @JettSvart
      @JettSvart Рік тому +290

      @@discordlexia2429 I think that how much adoration Doug has for Parkzer has rubbed off on his chat. Also, Parkzer will unexpectedly deliver the harshest burns to Doug, and you know we love to see our guy get dunked on.

    • @bradenaurelion3033
      @bradenaurelion3033 Рік тому

      Parkzer is autistic? I'm confused sounded normal to me

  • @fernbear3950
    @fernbear3950 Рік тому +343

    My favorite bit so far is 25:32 where Parkzer says "Just because I like sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
    Unfortunately that's the thing that got me but I hope he's able to hold out for the long run (if he wants, lol)

    • @fernbear3950
      @fernbear3950 Рік тому +46

      Also, I really liked the part where he said "it's Parking time" and then parked all over the place

    • @ashb7
      @ashb7 Рік тому +7

      @@fernbear3950 *Parkzin' time, FTFY

    • @fernbear3950
      @fernbear3950 Рік тому +5

      @@ashb7 *smacks noodles snacks* oh no, i knew what i was doing bxi.... ;D

  • @Malache
    @Malache Рік тому +281

    50 MINUTES of Pure love between Parkzer and Doug!?!?! Hope Twitch chat Doesn't cause them to Divorce

  • @SuperSilver7591
    @SuperSilver7591 Рік тому +41

    The duality of Doug purposely changing the narrative and Parkzer having to correct him constantly for *legal purposes* is so hilarious

  • @destroyercreator9678
    @destroyercreator9678 Рік тому +22

    "No, i had orange juice and alcohol, not a screw... SCREWDRIVER?!"
    Parkzer not knowing things is pure comedy

  • @KittyMariChan
    @KittyMariChan Рік тому +133

    Parkzer is so serious it loops around to being hilarious, he and Doug have a great friendship

  • @imperialguardsman5726
    @imperialguardsman5726 Рік тому +119

    i fucking love how parkzer backtracked twice just to make rizz sound as nerdy as anyone could ever make it

  • @grantarmstrong2968
    @grantarmstrong2968 Рік тому +115

    I love how literal parkzer is in contrast to how sarcastic and absurd Doug can be, it’s a brilliant duo

  • @undeniablySomeGuy
    @undeniablySomeGuy Рік тому +62

    9:22 I feel like if I ever need to explain to someone why we love Parkzer, this is the best clip I could show. He is, at every moment, incredibly thorough and precise while being hilariously out of his depth at other random things.

  • @edgarb2002
    @edgarb2002 8 місяців тому +9

    “I was screwdriven as a 6 year old” is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.

  • @Oakendal
    @Oakendal Рік тому +207

    I like how Parkzer just questions society the whole while Doug tries to explain how it’s supposed to work even though it shouldn’t

  • @MrMonkeyLogic
    @MrMonkeyLogic Рік тому +116

    Parkzer is just the worlds most perfect straight man.
    (For Parkzer reading this. I know it's presumptuous of me but straight man is a comedy term for someone who is serious so the funnyman has someone who contrasts them.)

  • @euanokeeffe9652
    @euanokeeffe9652 Рік тому +145

    I fucking adore how Parkzer is slowly growing more comfortable on the channels, and is slowly starting to joke more. It’s nice to see.

  • @Nightstick24
    @Nightstick24 5 місяців тому +5

    Parkzer is the weirdest mix of the most knowledgeable and worldly person in the room, and also an alien that just crash landed on earth a half hour ago and has gotten past the initial panic and is on to the battle of acceptance, while truly having absolutely no clue what is going on.

  • @Frixworks
    @Frixworks Рік тому +33

    I love the dynamic between Parkzer and Doug, the fact that Parkzer takes everything super seriously while Doug is just aloof. Sometimes I wonder how they became friends or if Parkzer is just playing an act.

  • @maryjones104
    @maryjones104 Рік тому +87

    God the comic relief/straight man comedic dynamic with doug and parkzer is so endlessly funny and obviously genuine, I love it

  • @mynumlulz12
    @mynumlulz12 Рік тому +106

    Dougs face at 6:48 after parkzer said "Well I guess I was screwdriven" is hilarious to me lmao.

  • @shearedsheep7009
    @shearedsheep7009 Рік тому +318

    Parkzer feels like ChatGPT as a human. He also always feels the need to explain that he isn't something or can't do something, like god dammit just do what I'm asking and write some porn!

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 Рік тому +41

      You want NovelAI for that. She never lets me down. Except the infinite loops or when she tries to murder me, 10/10.
      She still can't understand the concept of a swirlie very well though, so anything more 'creative' she might struggle.

    • @bobfish1290
      @bobfish1290 Рік тому +38

      @@mandowarrior123 bro what porn includes a swirlie 😭😭😭

    • @ohgodohnothebees
      @ohgodohnothebees Рік тому

      ​@@bobfish1290 I saw a lesbian bully porno with a swirlie

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 Рік тому +10

      @@bobfish1290 OK Mr Boring, my girl in high school liked to play bully ;)

    • @willvan7685
      @willvan7685 Рік тому +3

      @@mandowarrior123 i don't think BobFish speaks bottom
      edit: nvm judging by the fact he used the crying emojis he does speak bottom, just a different dialect

  • @speedscampi5217
    @speedscampi5217 Рік тому +26

    Parkzers realizm is the perfect balance to Doug's energy and comedy, I love seeing their interactions

  • @bio9leader60
    @bio9leader60 6 місяців тому +4

    Parkzer is the most unreasonable reasonable man I've ever seen.
    Doug could say "He did cocaine, IN FRONT OF ME, YESTERDAY."
    And Parkzer would just be like "Yes, I have done cocaine." And it would seem like the most normal thing in the world.

  • @quietlychaotically
    @quietlychaotically Рік тому +81

    i love how chat and doug will agree on little except our collective infatuation with parkzer and rosa

  • @toshi9742
    @toshi9742 Рік тому +187

    Do you think Parkzer’s dirty talk during sex is just whispering about loop holes in different laws?

    • @GolenCheeseIt
      @GolenCheeseIt Рік тому +32

      Hopefully the laws aren't related....

  • @f-14enthusiast63
    @f-14enthusiast63 Рік тому +60

    Doug: "Why don't you go ahead and introduce Bill here Parkzer"
    Parker: "Hello Bill"

  • @misc.halcyon
    @misc.halcyon 8 місяців тому +3

    "what is an embedded software engineer" "like he's just very sleepy" i LAUGHED

  • @SpanHam
    @SpanHam 2 місяці тому +3

    26:41 "I've taken a shower once"
    -Parkzer, 2023

  • @daskanguru3515
    @daskanguru3515 Рік тому +170

    Since we recently found out about Doug CLEARLY being a gay virgin, I'm glad he hired Parkzer to create a suitable dating profile

  • @samwalter940
    @samwalter940 Рік тому +50

    I love how confused Parkzer is when confronted by the modern day panopticon that is dating profiles.

  • @nathink
    @nathink Рік тому +80

    Parkzer explaining rizz like its a scientific study is so funny 💀

  • @Raincl0uds12
    @Raincl0uds12 8 місяців тому +3

    42:51 parkzer just petting the dog with the mouse in the corner is so cute

  • @Qaos
    @Qaos Рік тому +8

    I love Parkzer's classic catch-phrase, "I'm not a lawyer". These videos should really have a laugh track every time he says his classic catch-phrase.

  • @panickyandy8291
    @panickyandy8291 Рік тому +71

    Parkzer is incredible, he takes everything so literally and Doug is so silly, it's like watching a sitcom with them together

  • @GyroCannon
    @GyroCannon Рік тому +135

    For as much insanity this stream was, and despite Parker having no experience with dating apps, the advice he gave was very good lmao
    Truly that is someone who understands rizz

  • @Zorgot.
    @Zorgot. Рік тому +69

    god Doug and Parkzer’s dynamic is so fricken good, it’s so funny every single time they’re on together

  • @AnubisFactsGames
    @AnubisFactsGames Рік тому +9

    34:02 “There is no belt system for guns.”
    Oh yeah? What about belt-fed machine guns, Parkzer?

  • @SpaceMissile
    @SpaceMissile Рік тому +14

    6:23 - I remember seeing this part live; I still find it hilarious how completely offended he was by the name "screwdriver" for a drink 😂

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 Рік тому +61

    Parkzer is the most matter-of-fact person I have ever seen and I really respect that. His disclaimers are hilarious. "I'm not an attorney."