Relapsed In Love: Benjamin Adams v Chantillae Adams
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- Benjamin says everything changed when his wife, a recovering alcoholic, relapsed. He says she became mean, controlling and aggressive. If she doesn’t get help, he’ll be forced to walk away.
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The idea of a flawless marriage or relationship is unrealistic. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Nevertheless, I've learned that solutions exist for every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I faced the brink of divorce due to challenges in our marriage. Fortunately, we managed to reconcile. It was a tough phase, but we made it through
The wisdom in your words strikes a chord within me, and I genuinely desire that my sentiments align with yours. Despite our separation at present, I cannot conceive of my existence without her; my love for her knows no bounds. I yearn for her return, and I'm committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve reconciliation. We've pursued different avenues, including therapy, in our journey to bridge the gap.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your guidance is valued. I'll immediately seek her out online. Appreciate it. I'm hopeful that implementing this method will also bring me success; I miss her dearly
You definitely should
I agree, you design your own marriage
Trauma bonded relationships can never flourish
Yes if you notice how they met this exactly what it is. A trauma bond
Yes!!
She has to admit she has a severe drinking issue and get back in treatment, it is destroying her 💯
55 & 33 is probably the reason they seems so incompatible 😡
My thoughts exactly. 🤔💭
33 is grown as hell
There you go. Daddy/Daughter syndrome. He's looking to be a mentor, and she's acting out because she wants to convince herself that she's unworthy.
33 is a grown woman. She's not compatible to be with anybody.
Age is just a number,there are teenagers who knows how to show respect and love for their partners!She is an alcoholic and walked out of treatment,because she doesn't care about,anyone her self included!They both need therapy, anger management, parenting and rehab!Else its best they go their separate ways!
He’s a passive/aggressive victim enabler…
She’s an alcoholic passive/aggressive victim
Its safer and less stressful to b single. Im not adding none of this drama to my already complicated life.
Some people needs to be single FOREVER and dont go to any rescue shelter Even the dogs don't want their foolishness🤣
Right😂❤😂❤
@@feliciacoleman6650I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HATED ON ME LIKE THIS. MY MOTHER HAS TOOK IN AND FED YOUR DAUGHTER MANY NIGHTS WHILE YOU WERE HIGH ON CRACK AND SHE DID NOT WANT TO COME HOME PITIFUL HOW LOW PEOPLE CAN GO!!! BY THE WAY WE’RE STILL TOGETHER!!!! 🤡
😂😂😂so true
He’s is attracting women who need healing. Bless this man. I hope he can find happiness
Me 2.
He appeared broken up about his 1st wife. & maybe he's trying to desperately replace her.
Maturity is the key 🔑
Alcoholic lie!!
He's played enough!
Amen I used to do the same thing pick sick people
"Im not an alcoholic." said every alcoholic ever.
This lady favors the rapper " Da Brat" a little bit!
What's the name of the album? 😂
@@BREEZYM6015 🤷 I have no idea! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lmao
Now, I'm not unseeing it...😅
I was just about to say that...she looks just like her
Ok, I see how Judge Starr got to the conclusion that she did… If she doesn’t receive support WHEN AND HOW she wants it, she goes left QUICKLY!!!
He is passive-aggressive low-key that throws rocks and hides his hands. If he wanted to truly help her, he would not be drinking with her, triggering her, saying and doing mean things to her.
I still think Judge Starr will ALWAYS side with the sisterhood, but I see why she’s on him too.
Last thing… he said he loved her and hasn’t loved anyone else before. Sir, what about your previous wife???
Given his tragic past with addiction, as soon as he figured out she had a problem he should have dipped.. I’d bet $100 he’s feeling some serious déjà vu right now..
Nope.. I think he enabled his former wife. That’s why he does it sooo well with his current wife.
I'll give u the $100. Bc I agree with you.
My thing is why is she even letting her family DISRESPECT her husband.
She’s too much in La La Land to know or care. She seems like a binge alcoholic
I’ve seen worse and nastier couples on this show that wasn’t treated like this on the show. Maybe the judge found something worse in her research that wasn’t mentioned 🤷🏽♀️because she went from 0 to 100 😂
I agree. I've seen worse as well. But she did research so she knows. They bonded during covid which was a horrible time and gave them something else to focus on. Now covid is behind us and now they focus on each other. They don't like what they see. Judge Star is right. They need to separate and move on .However the wife needs to get into treatment first before she starts another relationship.
She could have helped them if she actually wanted too I don’t think she wanted to and if there was more to the case she should have had a part 2 for us to understand. I didn’t like her attitude this episode. I have seen way worse couples and she goes above and beyond to help.
Ridiculous how the judge handled that case...case of having a bad day herself... embarrassing to see this episode🤦🏾♀️
Yep. The audience didn’t get to hear enough to understand how the judge came to her conclusion
I thought so as well. The wife obviously has some issues still dealing with addiction because I know at least one of those accidents she said wasnt alcohol related, was indeed alcohol related. I am in recovery and can clearly see she is in denial of her alcohol issues. People who dont have an alcohol problem, do not have so many issues with people, places and driving while drinking!
… this is the 1st time he has been in love but was married for 8years 🙃
Maybe he settled for the first wife🤷🏽♀️
🙂 people get married for reasons way beyond just love at times...Many need companionship, some for financial support or gain, others because it sounds nice or to have status and lots of other reasons/etc...For many people love isn't their priority...
Nah…. You called it sis. I peep game when I see it. He’s not as innocent as y’all want him to be. He’s an enabler. How is he helping her? Especially to be sober when he drinking with her. His WHOLE spill is that she’s an alcoholic.. Then WHY ARE YOU DRINKING WITH HER SIR???
They trauma bonded at a car dealership and he said “I wanna marry her”. He had a savior complex that he has never addressed.
I’m confused as to why he was getting chewed out
Me 2.
What is happening here?! 😐
He’s not innocent either although he appears to be. He destroys the items that he buys for her and her son whenever he gets angry with her. That’s hurtful too. He tore out his part in the family photo that gutted her deeply. They are two very broken people that need healing.
I was confused as why she was chewing him out too at first, but now I see how he was being sneakily shady with her...judge caught that quick lol
Trauma bonding at its finest! When u create a bond because of traumatic events and you and the other person haven't healed or at least on a healing journey it will always be dysfunctional and probably trigger you to go back to what you're healing from.
I agree, but it’s worse than that. He is definitely triggering her on purpose and enabling her.
She's a young drunk! He needs to wish her well, and move on!
Case closed
33 is young now? Y’all so insecure with age y’all have to gaslight what young is lol
So 33 is old ? 😂 wtf
@@ebonyjordan9643 yes tf it is. Do you mfs ever grow up? What you gotta be 50 until you grow tf up?
According to these comments, it’s a lot more people on here that’s traumatized and easily manipulated than I thought. If you think this man is innocent and the victim, you’re worse off than you think.
Im confused. What did this man do wrong?
He is a passive/aggressive victim enabler. I believe he is EVERYTHING she said he is…
He gravitated towards a woman and her child just to buy them things and take it back every time he’s mad, and he threw a TV out of the front door . They’re both toxic
Seems like nothing is her fault!
She needs to take responsibility for her own actions. It's not on him to do anything regarding her sobriety.
Don't waste your time with addicts,it's not worth it,
Damaging your own property is called the stupid tax. Judge Toler said it
She brings the worst out of him because he seem so sweet, calm and layback. I don’t think they should continue this marriage, they got together for the wrong reasons.
They both bring out the worst in each other. He’s just not as innocent as everybody is saying; I just see him through a different lens.
@bryanbeeman5256 Yall act like people can't provoke you.
@@keyairaspivey5093- What did Judge Lynn Toler state about allowing people to control you??? No one can make you act unseemly except you. You sound triggered
This union makes no sense.
They are not good for each other
She don't need him to go to AA, or to go to church ..SHE HAS TO DO THIS HERSELF. That is a solo project!!
This man needs long-term counseling because he keep attracting addicted women either to drugs or alcohol😢 when you see a person with an addiction of any sort you need to leave
Idk why these old men be putting themselves with these younger women and then be surprised when the younger women mess up in the relationship.
Why is Judge Star hollering at this man? Did they edit out something i'm not seeing? I'm just not feeling Judge Star.
She only do that to black men watch how she treat Spanish guys
🤨 She is the cheating alcoholic with a bad temper but SOMEHOW he's the one at fault for standing up for himself during her combative episodes?...
Judge Star be dressed nice but damn she tripping ...Ive seen her give grace to women who did way more than this guy...smh
I wish them both the best ...💯
didn’t understand judge starr at all today?
The sisterhood is strong with Starr
Did u miss he take whatever he buys and destroys it! He cut himself out a family picture??SMH...for his age that is childish..they BOTH need to run away from each other ASAP
I was told anybody having more than 3 alcoholic drinks a week is labeled a Alcoholic. This man is still dealing with his 1st death trauma. He deserves way better than her drinking all the time. Man Please Run 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️🏃🏃♂️🏃♀️🏃.
I am wondering where you read that. I don't think 3 glasses of any alcoholic beverage, wine or spirits a week makes one an alcoholic. Drinking every day or binging is. In her case, yes, I think she is though.
That’s not true. You can have 3 drinks and not become drunk. An alcoholic abuses alcohol.
They're Not Compatible But She takes No Accountability For Anything!!!! Salvage What, it's Nothing to Salvage!!! I feel for the Little Boy.
I don't think they're going to stay married any longer. They don't even like one another. She looks like she prefers women over men, but tried to overcome it by being with him. He tried to turn her into a housewife. SMH!
Damn 😂
Exactly 😂😂😂
I thought she liked women also
Why was I thinking the same 😂
You don’t know how much it takes for people to just KEEP GOING despite what they are facing. Be gracious to people and what you possibly don’t know about them.
He needs to get away from her fast!! She’s in denial.
From the gate she’s in denial and blaming everything and everybody for her drinking. And he is enabling her, which is odd being that his wife died from an addiction. And I feel like regardless she was in her “sobriety” when they met he should’ve been told about the alcohol rehab. He should’ve been able to make a choice if that was a situation he wanted to be in based on his past. Now this man is trapped with an alcoholic who’s in denial. It pays to REALLY get to know the person you’re sleeping with.
They both need to talk to a counselor or therapist. Hope they can co parent for child sake.
There's nothing to salvage get a divorce
Yes!!! Judge basically said IDGAF!! Loved it!!!
Judge Starr was wrong with this one.
She attached the guy when he has been the one enduring the heartache.
He came for help and was just bashed.
CrazieRichie ?
I strongly agree with you.
The Judge immediately came out from left field & jumped on both of them. I felt for the husband. He needed help or some kind of direction, & the Judge didn't deliver it.
She must have had her mind on something or somebody else & needed to hurry up and leave. Something wasn't right. 🧐
Lately, she’s been off.
What episode are you watching? Judge Star stated she's angry at them both. Husband traumatized by 1st wife's overdose death . She's an alcoholic in denial. He's old enough to be her father. No fool like an old fool standing before Judge Star as an innocent victim.
She's gotten quite a few of them wrong lately
Damn what was wrong with the judge today??
Nothing is wrong with Judge Star. I saw what the Judge saw and you don't appear to understand.
1. He married a woman young enough to be his daughter with a serious alcohol addiction in denial who is destroying her young son's life. She's a danger to herself and other's.
2. He never got over his addictive first wife's drug overdose. He's as mean and aggressive by cutting up the Family pic, cussing her out, all the yelling at her, and more,
3. She doesn't face the truth, deflect's her sick behavior onto him, screwed another man, doesn't defend him against her family, and more... She's a total train wreck who married a man standing on the edge of a cliff.
Marrying each other was an abysmal, unnecessary occurrence especially getting 2gether in the thick of the COVID CRISIS.
I'm a jury member who viewed this case same as Judge Star. They don't care, Judge don't care, l don't care. Those two wouldn't receive help via therapy if they were threatened with gasoline drawers
BOTH of their faces jus screams Unhappy tbh!!!🙄
What makes me sad is what they're doing to their little boy, and how SAD he must be! 😪
She said she's willing to do marriage counseling but didn't mention alcohol counseling. They need to go their separate ways
The judge was way out of line on this. I don't think or feel that man did anything wrong
Me 2. 🤔
Me either
He looks like he could be her father....Not to mention he is 22yrs her senior!!!
One of the reasons Judge was upset at him is when he's angry at the wife he even destroys stuffs he bought for the kid and rips his face off family pic. That is extremely mean the kid didn't do him anything. Judge said she did more research. I guess what she found out got her frustrated at them.
Everybody not seeing that part of it. They’re just blaming her for everything.
IF I had a 100 dollars for every time the condom broke, OMG
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You'd be rich. Those darn thin condoms, maybe next time use a glad wrap 😅
She has a drinking problem and he thinks he can bully her into submission. It won’t work. They are going to keep trying I promise you that but it will not work.
That woman needs help and that relationship need to be done with. They are just too dysfunctional. Poor child has to see his mom and step dad act like that😢
Her: he always runs away from problems.
Me: ma’am you are the problem and he needs to keep running!!🙄
Run run!
She is lethargic now. Slurred speech. They need to divorce. She should be in Alcohics Anonymous for treatment and support!
Alcoholics Anonymous!
That’s the way alcoholics look. She probably has some type of altered personality by now due to the excessive amount of drinking in the loss of brain cells. But you can tell she’s been to AAA because she’s brutally honest.
Thought this was da brat from The thumbnail 😂
She's an alcoholic.. childish ,that takes no accountability and he is a sober bully with anger issues. 🤬
🤨 She is the cheating alcoholic with a bad temper but SOMEHOW he's the one at fault for standing up for himself during her combative episodes?...
Judge Starr dress nice but damn she be tripping ...Ive seen her give grace to women who did way more than this guy...smh
I wish them both the best ...💯
Did I miss something, maybe I should watch it again. I feel the Judge was biased against this man.
Definitely watch it again and see if this guy’s words and actions are aligned
That's just what I said. 🤔🧐
The judge mad she can’t find nothing on the man, she had to include him , she has a bias against men because of her past!!!!
🤨 She is the cheating alcoholic with a bad temper but SOMEHOW he's the one at fault for standing up for himself during her combative episodes?...
Judge Starr be dressed nice but damn she tripping ...Ive seen her give grace to women who did way more than this guy...smh
I wish them both the best ...💯
Nah… he not clean peeps. He is purposefully triggering her. Look at the excuses he coming up with. This girl (as bad as she is) has been truthful to me… he’s the one where all of his tales are not adding up.
I think she just caught wind of him being mean too because he threw that TV out the front door and tried to word it as if they both threw it out😅 and he’s giving “I am your pappy”vibes and she’s an alcoholic G……… she don’t play that lmaoooooo they’re both toxic people
She can be his daughter!!! 22 years different. Her family thinks he should treat her like his child
They trauma bonded & that never goes well. I wish them both the best.
Starr says that he's mean and nasty to her, but I didn't see it. This is what I saw. I saw a man who lost his first wife because of drug addiction and jumped into a relationship without with addict. That was the only thing that he did wrong. If my wife or girlfriend climbs under another guy, the relative is over. There's not enough love in the world to overcome intentional or unintentional cheating. He couldn't help her. She won't even admit that she has an addiction.
Hurt people, hurt people!
He old enough to be her dad and that's how he treats her. She needs some rehab for her drinking habits.
they pissed STAR OFF BABY!
Awww, "bestest" friend🙄 their relationship sounds ridiculous & tumultuous
Mixed emotions, you connected through pain, hurt, trauma and confused that with love. You both are broken and need to heal. Beautiful people
Denial! I only drink on weekends… she is pretending to be stupid.. she knows that they are all kinds of alcoholics..get real for her son before he hates her.
The energy is so OFF between them! Almost like they’re complete strangers wow 😢
I saw the potential for nastiness in their attitudes, but I didn't really see/hear it displayed. Send my bus, the short one! 🚌
I do agree - that this wasn't exactly a match made in heaven. There were so many lies, back and forth from both of them. I am an alcoholic, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink, but I don't drink. Only woman I've ever loved, so I guess he didn't love his first wife. They're going to need a lot of tools to fix this - glad I won't be dealing with them. Sheeeze!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Benediction! No sparks in that marriage and NO love lost. 😢
You are so beautiful and pretty. You have a beautiful soul. You will be okay.
19:36 what’s crazy is this is the first time I heard judge say that about anyone ….i was hoping they could get help
They both need help
She must of been so mad today, never seen Judge Star go off like that.
I'll didn't see where the husband was talking mean to the wife. Maybe I missed it. 🤷🏿
She does not take accountability for anything. This will never work
He picked another woman who was an addict after dealing with an ex passing.he enabled her to drink by allowing it in their home. He allowed her to repeat a pattern he should have encouraged her to get sober for her child because that little boy needs her. I feel so bad for that child watch a parent dealing with addiction.
Judge you got this wrong.. you went off for no reason I’m usually with you .. but that was unwarranted .. unless this was edited . I didn’t see them being ugly towards each other in the court room. Toxic absolutely
Both have 🗑️🗑️ attitudes. The good Judge's assessment STANDS 👨🏽⚖️
To each their own, but I respect a person's religious beliefs. However I don't believe church or prayer will help someone with alcohol addiction.
I had to lose a lot in order for me to realize that I had a drinking problem. I've been sober for 8 years. No one can force a person to seek help for an addiction. You have to want to change.
You're entitled to your opinion
Jesus helps more but church helps as long as the church has groups and departments that give people a healthy Avenue to discover talents and abilities.
Judge Star is starting to get on my nerves. She used to be ok but NOT ANYMORE‼️
The last several episodes she's shown a very toxic and biased side. She's ruining the legacy of this show in my opinion. I miss Judge Toler
Da Brat is that you 👀 lol😊
Bottom Line:
In order to be in a relationship or marriage both parties must have self awareness and must be wanting to
be in love,
receive love
and learn how to give love….
Bottom Line!
He saw her alcoholic toxicity from jump street, yet decided to be Captain Save A Love Interest. The extreme generational age difference is an issue at well. Two addict wives, back to back. He need's therapy, too.
Not true she was a the reason I just loved her I don’t try and control anyone but thank you for your opinion about me!!!!
There is no way this isn’t a whole fake situation
Damn “I am not the bad guy here” this woman needs to be alone in rehabilitation. This is a toxic relationship. Also why is this man coming back to her. I hope they find themselves. God bless us all ❤
He's experienced betrayal trauma. Your wife died in front of your child and you couldn't process this while also grieving her. Now they're dealing with more addiction and turmoil. They both need to reset with family counseling. I hate to see decent people and people's relationships fail when there's so much to help. The anger issues will continue to mount
That 55 year old should have no business messing around with a 33 year old. That's disgusting as hell! He needs to grow up and find women close enough to his age and stay away from women young enough to be his daughter
Yes! 👏🏿
&, that wife should not be around that pour lil boy with a drinking issue.
WTH? Alcoholics usually are mean and different people. Starr called HIM mean smh. Yeah she was tripping again on this one.
Serious question if this is divorce court isn’t she supposed to to grant them a divorce and they sign the papers or is this just staged
I think they’re both evil people. Everyone’s ragging on her (rightfully so) but he’s JUST as trash. How do you justify taking everything YOU bought out of a shared house & then get mad at the reaction? He took the SONS tv like??? She’s in denial & needs help, but he REALLY worked my nerves. As soon as he started getting read by Judge Star then his story switched to “I’m saving my marriage” (when he brought the case/divorce papers) & “how am I mean”. At LEAST she stood on her original statement saying that she wanted to reconcile. Idk this is a situation where everyone sucks & only the baby suffers
She needs in patient rehab not just AA and church
Why get in the car when she's driving drunk?
I don’t bully I’m laid back don’t like drama
Are these real cases?
I don’t like what Judge Star did. She didn’t even offer them help. No AAA no counselling just threw them away. They are rude yes but atleast help them! Judge Toler would never
His under cover toxic
This is tragic all round 😢
I'm confused! They're just not compatible she's still a kid he's playing the father role thinking he can change everything.... especially when she has family involved very delusional