No its not done but it doesn still disprove all this bullshit but them under a microscope and they will still be a boy or a girl and we know they dont exist being attracted to more specific things its a preference like short girls or older guys but gender yes you can only be attracted boy, girl, or both because thats all it is. If you want to say all this made up shit is true and these people are one then it would be provable because they are here but they are no different than a boy or girl. yes science isnt done but that doesnt mean they exist and we just havent found one. its all made up bs
Okay sooo let me Say some things, Being Trans scientifically proven, and being Nonbinary as very limited science, and people who are would be extremely rare and must have Dysphoria. In a way it IS POSSIBLE just rare. As some brains are closer to be a less binary label. C:
God, all these sexualities and gender expressions are so confusing and intimidating. I feel bad, because I'm a part of the LGBT+ community (hella bi) and there's so much I don't know. I'm so up for learning more about everyone and everything like this, so I'm so glad you make these kinds of videos. 💕
I'm bi too. There sure is a lot to learn about our community, but I feel it's important that we're all educated and Ashley's videos help us with that. :)
There's nothing to learn - none of this has any basis in reality. The only genders are male and female. The only sexualities are Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual and Pansexual (because I concede that not all Bi people will be attracted to transgender people). There's nothing complicated about any of this, just morons like Ash Hardell want it to complicated - because it's the only hope they have of being interesting and not ordinary...
GoAway LeaveMeAlone honestly i think you should let people be what they want to be without questioning them. I agree with numerous genders and sexualities *to an extent* (i'm not sure about my own sexuality because it's complicated; i just say i'm bi to avoid confusion generally) but if you don't judge someone for being non binary you won't start a shitstorm. just keep your controversial opinions to yourself.
As a girl who was previously thought to be straight, it almost feels awkward as if I'm doing something wrong by saying I'm Androsexual even though I am cis...
Me me me me me, like this has been a new discovery for me & im afraid I’m somehow disrespecting the lgbtq community :/ It’s cool to read the comments though w people who experience similar feelings, ily!
Androsexual is for anyone who is attracted to men (I’d they aren’t cis) and/or masculine people and/or people with the male sex. If your cis, you could use the term if you like masculine people (but not only men) and/or people with (or want) male bodies (but not only men). If you’re cis and only like binary male people, then it’s probably best you go with gay or straight. But if you are cis and have another reason you like androsexual more then straight or gay, please do explain why! There might have been something I missed or didn’t think of, and I’d love to help out!
@@The1stPurpleCat do you think i might be androsexual hear me out i like straight masculine guy and im female but i also attracted to fem boys idc they are so cute also girls who have soft/bold features but have masculine aura sheesh, i like to top her if she looks like a guy or she looks like a cute boy i feel dominant then but if its straight male i would like to top cs the gay in me but im ashamed they won't accept so in this case i feel feminine he is the top.. sry im talking about s*x its how my attraction differs wht u think?
@@axmy0613 ~ Androsexual can mean attraction to males and/or attraction to masculinity. Another way to say it, is that it means you can: be attracted to the male gender (masculine or not) and/or be attracted to masculine people (male gender or not). You can be both or one of those to be androsexual. Anything that’s “___ male” or “masc ____” would fit under the who you’re attracted to under the term. Including… •masc males •fem males •masc females •masc nonbinary •neutral male •etc So in other words, I believe that androsexual would fit you well!
Ashley Mardell I would love to buy the book, but I am a closeted, younger person meaning I can't get your book without my parents knowing whether ordering online or bought irl. I also don't want to lie if they confronted me about it. So yeah even though buying it doesn't directly out me, questions would rise. :( I'm sure it's amazing though (from what I've pieced together from the videos)
People: I really wish people would stop inventing these orientations...you can't just make up words Me: *whispers* Yes you can literally all words are made up. The word homosexual was made up just a couple centuries ago. *shouts* hundreds of thousands of years after people of the same sex started having sex
NC car guy Gender as an entire concept is made up, GUY. You do realize that people are different and have different life experiences from you right? Why do you have to put people in boxes? Let them be who they truly feel.
Ashley, this is so cool! I have never known 90% of this, so I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to inform all of us, in an entertaining way! Now I have to buy your book...
This really resonates with me, I have considered my self bi for sometime but the label fell short for me, mahsexual or androsexual makes more sense. I am attracted to very masculine men, women and non binary folks, I myself am cis and ultra feminine but I swoon for muscular arms, punk rock hair cuts and broad shoulders.
Hey....So...MY BOOK COMES OUT TOMORROW :DD www.amazon.com/ABCs-LGBT-Ashley-Mardell/dp/163353409X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1477337944&sr=8-1&keywords=ashley+mardell Like this video if you are STOKED!
THANK YOU for making a video on Androsexuality/Masexuality!!! I struggled for a good long time on what to even call my sexuality and finally realized that that's what it is! I can't wait to buy your book and just...learn so much about so many things!! Also, I like how you pointed out that they were the same thing, because I literally didn't know that there was a thing as masexuality until I watched this video...^^; either way, I prefer the term androsexual vs. masexuality simply for the fact it's easier for me to say. :D thanks so much for your videos, they're truly helpful and I love them!!!
Thinking about this in tandem with the video collab that Jaclyn put out with her and Arielle yesterday. What I'm seeing here is that people like you and I understand there is complexity in identity that others are either uncomfortable with acknowledging, or just prefer not having to deal with. And when it comes to cis and straight people, I totally get that, because they never really have to think about their gender or their sexuality; it comports with what they'd always been taught is the default, and it "fits", at least well enough that they aren't uncomfortable with it. I have had issues with Arielle in the past (and even unsubbed her channel) because she'd been pretty transphobic in her language. She's gotten better about not saying trans women aren't women, so I suppose that is a positive, though she still seems to believe that trans women aren't woman enough for her to be involved with (at least the last time that I'd checked in). But what boggles my mind is the rejection of anything that is non-binary. I mean, what would they call an intersexed person with ambiguous genitalia? From their video, it would have to be either "man" or "woman". And that really is far too simplistic for that case, and that's just one of many cases, and the case that would probably be easiest for them to understand. Multiple genders and "tumblr sexualities" exist because people don't feel that gay/straight/bi "fit". I was one of the first people I knew trying to find alternative terms to "man/woman" and "gay/straight/bi", back in 1997. I threw around terms like "omnigendered" and "fluidly gendered" and "pansexual" trying to get at terms that I could then define and explain in a way that others might comprehend. That's not to say I invented those terms; I wasn't the only one coming up with them at the time, and some of us would use a term meaning one thing while another would mean something else by the same term. But we were all grasping for ways to explain our gender and our sexuality that would "fit" better than what existed. And why weren't we happy with something that existed even if it didn't "fit" perfectly? Because calling yourself "lesbian" can be tricky when you're a pre-transition trans woman in an age when hard anyone in the wider public knew anything about trans people to start with, especially when you tended to have the very, very rare attraction to a particularly feminine male. I understand why a lot of people make fun of "trendy" identities, especially when they are in a realm where very few can relate. But honestly, 20 years ago very few people could relate to trans identities, and here we are today where trans people are being seen more and more as just another in the variety of humans, and maybe in another 20 years some of these "trendy tumblr identities and sexualities" will come to be seen as being just as normal and human. A lot has changed since I was in college and grasping for my identity. A lot more will change. People who don't understand extended identities shouldn't just dismiss them because it's easier to stay in the rut of their programmed understanding; they should reach out and learn about these extended ideas. Sorry for the book, but between the two videos I had a lot of thoughts that needed to be expressed.
Kat Ehas First of all, i want to say that you are totally entitled to have your own opinion, but I just wanted to clear some things up. In Arielle and Jaclyn's video, they don't say you NEED to identify as either male or female. They just want to get out there that for the group of people who indentify with their assigned gender but wouldn't fit the basic stereotype it isn't neccessairy to lable yourself differently. Of course if you don't identify with being labled as male or female, you should be able to have a different lable. But for the group of people who feel comfortable being male or female, their way of presenting shouldn't change that.
while i understand the crit against gyne and andro, and it really would suck to be rejected romantically/sexually by someone due to your genitalia, i really dont see the big deal. if someone is andro or gyne sexual specifically because of genitalia and they dont want to date you because you dont have that genitalia, oh well. as long as they dont misgender you it shouldnt matter. even if they see you as the gender you are, WHATEVER, it still wont change what they're physically attracted to. there are lesbians who dont like dick, there are gay men who dont like vagina. and calling them bad people for that attraction and not inherent transphobia is something i have a huge moral quandary with. tl;dr: transphobia =/= cool coercing someone into having sex with genitals they dont like becuase of guilt =/= cool
I kind of agree with both of you. I believe that what sexually attracts you isn't your choice, so if you find the thought of whatever genitalia turns you off then there is nothing inherently transphobic about that, as long as you respect and honour other peoples gender identities. In terms of anonymous's point about misogyny, I personally don't think attraction equates to how you view or value people. If you find vaginas attractive, regardless of the gender of the person who has it, then that's what you find attractive. It doesn't necessarily mean that you only view that person as a walking vagina - it's just that's the part of the body you find sexually excites you. It probably won't be what romantically interests you in someone, but I don't believe people have a choice with what sexually excites them / repulses them. I would also argue it's not misogynistic as it goes both ways - someone could just as easily say "I'm only attracted to men with penises". Interesting comment though :)
This is a good comment. I think we need to differentiate between discrimination and preference. You can have an exclusive preference without being exclusionary. Just don't be a jerk about it.
I just use queer because it's easy and people understand it. but I'm ace so normally I just day "i don't like sex I just like ladies and nonbinary people"
Please continue using Queer, because it says far more than you know - it gives a detailed description of your politics and lets the rest of us know we should be giving you a wide birth...
A Wide Berth is keeping you further away than arms length, it's a refusal to engage... Queer says more about your politics than it does about your sexuality - because it's a purely political label, you just fail to understand that for some reason...
So, I'm Gynesexual. But how does one come out to parents? My family is 1. Very sheltered. 2. Doesn't know anything besides gay/straight/bi. So I guess if/when I do Come Out, I'll just say I'm gay? (I'm genderqueer, but biologically a female) I'll just tell my close friends SPECIFICALLY that I'm Gyne, and just say I'm gay for my parents...? Do you think that will work?
One step at a time? Maybe try gay at first and when that shock has settled tell them you're genderqueer and prefer using gynesexual? It's probably best not to start off with a word that will sound to them like it's made up. That will only make it easier for them to deny your very real feelings and say you're just confused or this is all just a fad from the internet etcetera.
not going to lie, I kinda came into watching this video with a closed mind thinking 'ugh more labels', but wanted be proven wrong - dunno exactly who to phrase it, and so far you have and I'm not even finished watching it! I feel really silly I didn't think about these labels before now. You're videos are so insightful and interesting and that's why I had to click on it. Keep doing what you're doing because you have helped me a lot as well as probably so many others! xxx
Its TOTALLY ok to be unaware of some of these labels and their meanings. It would be IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to be completely informed. Its just important to keep an open mind and remember that there are lots of individuals out there different from you, and thats an awesome thing! :)
I think the only real differance is if you want to use Germanic or Greek routed words. The thing is, if you put together words from Latin or Greek to make a new word it sounds scientific and respectable - like a real word - to most English speakers, whereas when you put together Germanic words to make a new word it tends to sound more made-up to English speakers (unless it just sounds like straight-up German). Gyne means pertaining to women, from the Greek gyno, gynaikos meaning woman. We could also use something related to femininus, which means basically the same thing in Latin. For pertaining to men, we can use andro from Greek or masculinus from Latin.
the title and thumbnail: btw androsexuality exists and is valid me, an androsexual girl (who leans towards nonbinary people): *happy representation noises*
i have stumbled upon you while watching echo gillette, and i am very pleased i did. i identity as non binary and pansexual because: •im attracted to straight and gay men •im attracted to straight and lesbian females •im attracted to non binary beanies like myself •im attracted to transgender sweetheart's the list goes on and on. i thought that pansexual was a very fitting label for myself. i just found a place where i am comfortable to talk about my sexuality and gender, so i will do so. thank you, ash!
Cool video! I am agender and I'm attracted to boys but I identify as queer. I use 'queer' because I find femininity in boys attractive and also it's simpler for a lot of people to understand. 😀 I totally understand why someone would identify 'masexual' though! 😊
One of the reasons why I subscribed to you YEARSS ago is because you're editing literally inspires me and I hope to be as great at it as you one day. HOWEVER: although I lovee your transitions, as someone who is colorblind, sometimes I have no fucking idea what they are there for until I hear you say it (0:43). Other than that great video and amazing editing as always. Definitely learned something new! I've labeled myself as "gay" to make it easier for others to understand such as friends and family, but maybe I'm androsexual since really I'm attracted to masculine traits ?? Guess I'll have to explore myself some more :p
I'm so glad these identities exist. This video has helped me start to figure a big part of myself out. Thanks so much for making these fantastic videos :D
Are there words to describe sexual attraction to people with specific genitalia rather than their gender? Like being sexually attracted to any gender of person as long as they have specific genitalia? Or is that just considered sexist/transphobic/etc.? I'm sincerely curious.
Mel Yea idk how exactly genitalia preference would be bigoted in any way but I have seen people say that attraction to only certain genitalia is transphobic. I guess yoni- and phallo- make sense for what I'm thinking of. And yea, I can see how that wouldn't really be a "type" of sexuality since it doesn't relate you and your gender to the gender of people you are attracted to. Thanks for your input!
Mel Maybe something like "phallocentric" or "yonicentric" would be better words for what I'm trying to describe, since it wouldn't really be a sexuality, but a descriptor for your sexuality. I wonder what an all inclusive descriptor could be? As in no preference for any specific genitalia (including any type of genitalia all over the spectrum).
Yeah, I thought "andro" and "gyne" were useful for that purpose, but they've been criticized for having that connotation? So now they can't be used? It's rather unfortunate imo.
The perception of words such as andro-sexual you present here is so interesting. However andro comes from the Greek andras which literally means man, linked to ancient Greek aren=man, and arenopotita= masculinity. Therefore accord to linguistic roots (sorry for being such a linguistic nerd, on my way to my PhD) androsexual has more to do with masculinity than genitalia. I'm an androsexual, which means I'm attracted to masculinity, which includes all genders (men, women, non binary, agender) with strong masculine characteristics and auras. So feel free to use it if you want to! Still, anyone can identify with any words that make them feel more comfortable. Thank you for your video! 😁
Omg I've always told people I was bi with a strong preference for men and this finally gives me a word for it! Because truly it is masculinity I'm attracted to, I'm just as unatracted to feminine men as I am to feminine women! Eureka!
im a cis female who has been struggling SO MUCH lately to find the correct label for those times when I'm forced to label myself, and even though im cis, i think im androsexual ??? i like boys, but i also like non binary people and even lesbians who express great masculinity ??? it's really confusing. like, there is even a gender fluid person I fancy at school who i almost lose attraction to when they have a more feminine day (which sounds horrible, I know lol! I adore them a lot as a person, but just attraction wise, I prefer when they are more masculine). so I have been flipping out lol does this mean I'm just a bisexual who is also a terrible human being or am I something else hahaha
This video could not have come at a better time! I've been trying to find an alternative to 'lesbian', which is what I currently identify with as I am solely attracted to females, however I have been questioning whether or not I fully identify as female, so an alternative is great
this is so sad. you're not a gynesexual, you're just a lesbian. the fact that people are trying to make lesbianism male inclusive is so so horrifically homophobic
I think you might have misunderstood. Gynesexual is mostly for non-binary people who don't want to implicitly identify as male or female when telling people who they're attracted to. It's a way of stating the gender(s) you're attracted to without having to say anything about your own gender. I don't see how that makes lesbianism male inclusive. Gynesexual isn't the same as being a lesbian, and it has nothing to do with being attracted to males, so I don't understand the connection you're making here. Would you care to explain?
Jenna Mueller its not making it male-inclusive? its saying "im attracted to girls, but im not a girl (so therefore not a lesbian) and also not a boy (so not straight"
This is really cool, I've actually always wondered what labels there are for NB people who are specifically attracted to one gender, it does seems strange that most sexual orientations seem to refer to your own gender as well as that of people you're attracted to. Anyway, thanks for clearing that up for me 🙃
okay so i'm an androgynous lesbian and it's to my understanding that our lgbtq movement thing is that we're basically trying to get to a point where we don't have to come out and we don't have to label everything and worry about who you're attracted to right? so...how is labeling every sexuality and gender identity down to the tiniest detail helping with that? I mean it's kinda hypocritical in some ways. i mean i understand wanting to be able to put how you're feeling into specific words that describe it perfectly but... we want to work past labeling and work past putting everything into boxes. Idk just my opinion. Sorry if this offended anybody. this wasn't supposed to hurt anyone i just wanted to start a conversation and understand better :)
Well, that's nice. As long as nobody gets offended when I don't know their specific kind of orientation (rather specific, newer words like skoliosexual or androsexual), I'll tolerate it. I am ready to learn and I am ready to adopt certain words, phrases and kinds of behaviour. Just don't bother me, please.
No, I am just a douche, I guess. Look, I am not in touch with any people beyond the gender binary, at least not in person. Others' lives are not my business. I am just having troubles fully comprehending this whole movement, probably due to my lack of experiences.
I agree with you entirely. I don't personally find it necessary to continue inventing these labels which are arguably fake, but if someone claims such a title, whatever. I'll never be one to judge another person, and I'll comply to their pronouns and such. I'm not going to try to invalidate them even if my views vary. They just can't expect the entire world to agree with them and immediately know what pronouns they use.
even though I don't like labeling myself (atm I call myself bi, but I'm not 100% sure), i love learning about all these words i've never heard! and i can understand why labeling themselves is so important to other people :)
okay i don't want to sound like an asshole but i really don't understand why all of these terms exist?? i'm a female and super gay so i guess i don't really understand what it's like to be on the spectrum but why are there so many terms for gender and sexuality? i mean, i get if you like boys, or girls, or both, but having a billion terms to describe your gender and sexuality seems pretty unnecessary. i definitely know being transgender is valid, and i understand genderqueerness, but why is there a hundred terms to describe genderqueerness? i've heard agender, polygender, pangender, greygender, etc. and it just doesn't make sense to me, and lots of these crazier terms don't seem very applicable or understandable to anyone outside of tumblr.
it makes you feel understood and it's easier for you to find other people who feel the same way. I can see how it seems crazy or waaaay too much for people on the outside, but if you feel like one of those terms fits you after tirelessly searching for a way to describe your feelings, it's a big relief.
i can't speak for the gender terms you mentioned, but the sexuality terms in this video exist because they have to. what other term can a nonbinary person use to express that they're attracted exclusively to women/men?
back when I identified as only non-binary, I used androphile/androsexual to mean that I'm attracted to "men and masculinity" as well. I think maybe I was comfortable with that back then since I've always questioned attraction to women, but only masculine presenting women would questionably catch my eye. Then in 2014, people were criticizing and encouraging that the andro- and gyne- prefixes be thrown out, which I didn't necessarily agree with since no one claims that the genders of androgynes are genitalia-based, but I was like "fine." And then became a long stretch of trying to identify as bi or polysexual. Later that year I realized I was a nonbinary trans man, so I was also wondering if I should just call myself gay, or even homoflexible. I didn't like the exclusivity and implications of everything. and no, queer by itself doesn't work for me because I don't pass, so being an obviously AFAB person saying "I'm queer" sounds like "I'm mostly attracted to women". This year I found achillean and it being an umbrella for gay, bi, pan and queer men makes it perfect for me. I could be gay or bi, but what I'm most certain about is that I'm achillean!
such a great video. i'm definitely putting your book on my christmas wishlist :D also, I was so happy to hear your ending theme song, I've missed it these past few videos. it might be shallow but that theme song is the main reason my cis straight brother really got into your videos and watched them all to the end. it led with him being very educated about all things queer and very accepting of me in all my queerness
Thank you so much I used to identify as pansexul thinking that I liked all genders but when I thought more on it I relized I was not attracted to more fem peaple. But I was still attracted to mass people regardless of genitalia. So I am now androsexul thanks to your education!!
See, my sexual orientation and romantic orientation don't match. And I've always felt a little...idk...maybe guilty for that? I'm sexually attracted to both men and women. But I've only ever fallen in love with men. Because of that, I've never really pursued a sexual relationship with a woman because I always felt like I'd be misleading her somehow. I don't feel like I can even call myself bi, even though that's what I feel I am, because I've only ever fallen in love with men. Idk. Sexuality is complicated sometimes. 😕
Jolie Eastman Its okay for your romantic and sexual attraction not to match! You shouldn't have to feel guilty because of who you are and you're allowed to call yourself bisexual if you feel that way. Being heteroromantic just adds to who you are!
ordering your book, like, this week. then I'll be reading it, highlighting bits that apply to me and giving it to my mom read. she's a less than good ally, and I think some education could ready help. thank you soooooooo much for doing this project!!!
I just wanted to say that I lOVE the content and that your videos have helped me find labels (I'm somewhere between gynesexual and pansexual and bigender) and this series has really helped me with that. ily
i dont intend to sound mean, and i in no way want this comment to blow up, but i no longer like ashley mardell.i dont like her content.i miss when she had a beer and a chat, and those funny little challenges with her girlfriend.
Carrie Mattevi I think she has very strong beliefs that dictate her channel's content- obviously because it's her channel and her choice of what she post, put it's still a change
I'm so glad I know what I can identify with now! I'm genderfluid and I like mainly masculine people (mostly men, but there are some women and nb people I think are attractive too). But saying I'm gay for either doesn't really fit with the feelings I'm trying to express, so masexual really feels like what I'm trying to convey :D
I honestly don't know what I am XD For gender I just don't care, if one day I woke up and somehow was a man I would not care or feel the need to transition, and I don't feel the need to transition from female to male either. I just don't care, so I guess that would make me Agender? I also don't care if people call ma a she,he,they,etc.
I agree. Labels are great when it comes to finding other people to relate too and good for people to discuss struggles / discrimination facing certain minority groups, but if you can't find / don't want a label then don't give yourself one. For some people finding the most accurate label is more hassle than it's worth and it may be something that comes to you in later life. In the meantime you be you and try not to worry about it too much :)
Hey Ashley, I have been watching your videos for a while and if memory serves me right you haven't talked about the terms "eafluid"/"marfluid"/"venufluid". I am not sure if these terms are enough for a whole video of their own but I would be incredibly happy if you could maybe consider putting them in a video. I am personally very interested in these terms, mostly "eafluid", and the way you explain things is very clear and easy to understand and I would really appreciate it if you could incorporate these terms in a future video. Thanks!
Homoflexible...so bisexual but just with a preference? Seriously, there's no need for all of these labels. You could literally just say 'I'm Bisexual but I have a preference towards ____'. It gets confusing and it's unnecessary. I don't care what you have to say.
Its not a preference; attraction is not a choice. The term essentially refers to 1%; 1 in 100 of their crushes being toward another gender; they feel its far too rare for them to go by bisexual.
I hate being called bi, so I go with homoflexible, it fits me better because 90% of my attractions are guys. Why the actual hell do you care how people identify, It's not your life, and bi JUST DOES NOT FIT FOR ME.thank you
I've thought of this a lot before. Sometimes I'll think "if I was a guy... well then I'd be gay"; this usually follows after some other thought process and is just a tangent, but it does come up sometimes. And also in other contexts. So I'm glad there is a way to talk about this - I think it should be the standard!
can you really say that the association of pronouns isn't grammatical? i mean, use the pronouns that people want you to use for them, but im pretty sure that since we have been using pronouns in English for...ever that they are grammatical associations. maybe you can argue that they shouldn't be.
You're spot on. Demi-sexual = not a skank i.e you're an average person. These narcissists have confused minor aspects of their temperament, fashion choices and personality with gender. Incredibly self indulgent.
Guys, stop worrying about labels, just like who you like, you do not need to explain it to other people! For the love of god, the more labels there are, the more discrimination.
Clare Novell So now were supposed to cater towards the needs of people who discriminate? Their hate is their problem. Our labels are our problem. It's quite simple.
(im really late but) i agree, but i think that not having a label to easily express your sexuality is bad because trying to explain is difficult, and if you dont state what your attracted to everyone will assume your straight :/
Thank you for making this!! I had no idea womasexuality or womaromantic existed and had always felt weird explicitly saying I like feminine people or I'm pansexual but homoromantic cuz that never really fit just right. IM WOMA* in every way it comes. Thank you.
apparently not for you, no, it isn't. But everyone else is not you, and you are not everyone else. For other people, yes, it is this complicated. For some it's more so, for some it's less so. Because everyone is different.
No its not, don't feel you are being exclusionary if you don't fancy someone by their genitals, its like not fancying someone because they are fat or a certain look it may not be nice, but its just who you are attracted too, btw have a great day as you are awesome, much love from a small British youtuber
Some would say so but if you're not into penises and they don't turn you on there's nothing you can do about it. I personally feel the same as you. I think the important thing is how you tell someone if you do tell them you're not sexually attracted to penises Edit: I do think that if you just label someone as a no go from the get-go then it is a bit of an iffy thing. But like for me, if I fell in love with someone that had a penis I wouldn't write them off just because of it, you know?
What if you consider yourself as Male or you are one since birth and you are attracted to men but only masculine men, are you considered Homosexual (Gay) or Androsexual? Edit: Or can you identify yourself as a Gay Androsexual?
I had never considered nonbinary people might feel uncomfortable using words like "gay" or "lesbian" to describe themselves and creating new words that feel more accurate to their identities, so thank you for making this video!
Hell I never new about masexuality, but i fell like it ay be my thing Like yeah, im attracted to men, but also i can assume that it would be great for me to have relationships with non-binary folks who are masculine Guess that could be an option
After scouring many sources (including this video, which is great BTW) I realized that sometimes you gotta combine some labels to describe yourself, like me :)
I am a woman and attracted to masculinity over gender but I am sure that I can't have sexual relationship with a female even if she is masculine...Really confused !!
Pre ordered her book on Amazon. If you haven't seen her series I think this would be a good book to read because I can't remember everything she's talked about.
still in the middle of the video but as I'm watching, I have to get this out. josh is cool as hell. never seen him before. he's really well spoken and funny.
also, Ashley, if I can afford it, I will buy your book because I think it would be a great book to have in my collection. either way, I can't wait to read it.
Just ordered the book :) Also, I really want to thank you for the way in which you complicate identity and show that sexuality and gender isn't always cut and dry. (Sometimes I try to explain this to people and they look at me like I'm crazy.) Personally, I describe myself as a bisexual cis woman; however, I am attracted to non-binary folks as well, and I find that hard femme is a better way to describe my gender than just plain "woman." I guess this means I'm technically pan? I don't know! I just say bi because it's the word that feels like it's the best fit, but since I also understand that gender is a spectrum, being bi for me is more to do with being attracted to folks of more than one type of gender presentation. When in doubt, I tell people I like both pie and cake :)
Snaps on snaps on snaps. This video is amazing and so so important. I really wish this was taught better in schools. There are toooo many ignorant fools at my highschool that keep telling my friends and I that we're not valid.
Did or do you have your book at boneshakers? I was visiting in the twin cities recently and feel like I could've seen the cover but am not sure? Either way, I have to order it now because I really have never heard of any of the sexualities you discussed in this video. Definitely informative!
Hey. Also I'm excited to get your book, and I also recommend 'this book is gays despite being apart of the LGBTQIA+ I always love learning about it. You seem to like to learn and grow in your knowledge. I recommend it! (plus the doodles are pretty cute)
Can these terms be used for cisgender people too? Because I'm a cisgender female and I've been trying to understand myself for quite some time now and I think masexual/androsexual fits me best. I don't think I quite identify as bi since I'm not that into the feminine aspects (except sometimes) but I usually find myself being attracted to people (women, men or non-binary) who have a sort of masculine air about them.
Thank you so much, I was just thinking about this recently but I'm still a lil' bit confused as I identify as non-binary or agender so what would I be, as I'm more into people who identify or are females but sometimes into men (occasionally/rarely) . If you would get back, that would be amazing. Thank you!:)
I was unfamiliar with these... so they must be made up...
*Yes, that was sarcasm.*
lolololololololol
No its not done but it doesn still disprove all this bullshit but them under a microscope and they will still be a boy or a girl and we know they dont exist being attracted to more specific things its a preference like short girls or older guys but gender yes you can only be attracted boy, girl, or both because thats all it is. If you want to say all this made up shit is true and these people are one then it would be provable because they are here but they are no different than a boy or girl. yes science isnt done but that doesnt mean they exist and we just havent found one. its all made up bs
Adrian Amorix You were right the first time.
60% of youtube
Okay sooo let me Say some things, Being Trans scientifically proven, and being Nonbinary as very limited science, and people who are would be extremely rare and must have Dysphoria. In a way it IS POSSIBLE just rare. As some brains are closer to be a less binary label. C:
God, all these sexualities and gender expressions are so confusing and intimidating. I feel bad, because I'm a part of the LGBT+ community (hella bi) and there's so much I don't know. I'm so up for learning more about everyone and everything like this, so I'm so glad you make these kinds of videos. 💕
Charlee same here, I'm bi and just learning about everything that's not.. straight, gay or bi :D it's a little confusing but really interesting :)
I'm bi too. There sure is a lot to learn about our community, but I feel it's important that we're all educated and Ashley's videos help us with that. :)
There's nothing to learn - none of this has any basis in reality.
The only genders are male and female.
The only sexualities are Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual and Pansexual (because I concede that not all Bi people will be attracted to transgender people).
There's nothing complicated about any of this, just morons like Ash Hardell want it to complicated - because it's the only hope they have of being interesting and not ordinary...
Charlee I can relate so much
GoAway LeaveMeAlone honestly i think you should let people be what they want to be without questioning them. I agree with numerous genders and sexualities *to an extent* (i'm not sure about my own sexuality because it's complicated; i just say i'm bi to avoid confusion generally) but if you don't judge someone for being non binary you won't start a shitstorm. just keep your controversial opinions to yourself.
As a girl who was previously thought to be straight, it almost feels awkward as if I'm doing something wrong by saying I'm Androsexual even though I am cis...
Same situation for me but i dont feel wrong abt it im attracted to masculine ppl regardless of what they identify as
Me me me me me, like this has been a new discovery for me & im afraid I’m somehow disrespecting the lgbtq community :/ It’s cool to read the comments though w people who experience similar feelings, ily!
Androsexual is for anyone who is attracted to men (I’d they aren’t cis) and/or masculine people and/or people with the male sex.
If your cis, you could use the term if you like masculine people (but not only men) and/or people with (or want) male bodies (but not only men).
If you’re cis and only like binary male people, then it’s probably best you go with gay or straight.
But if you are cis and have another reason you like androsexual more then straight or gay, please do explain why! There might have been something I missed or didn’t think of, and I’d love to help out!
@@The1stPurpleCat do you think i might be androsexual hear me out i like straight masculine guy and im female but i also attracted to fem boys idc they are so cute also girls who have soft/bold features but have masculine aura sheesh, i like to top her if she looks like a guy or she looks like a cute boy i feel dominant then but if its straight male i would like to top cs the gay in me but im ashamed they won't accept so in this case i feel feminine he is the top.. sry im talking about s*x its how my attraction differs wht u think?
@@axmy0613 ~ Androsexual can mean attraction to males and/or attraction to masculinity.
Another way to say it, is that it means you can: be attracted to the male gender (masculine or not) and/or be attracted to masculine people (male gender or not). You can be both or one of those to be androsexual.
Anything that’s “___ male” or “masc ____” would fit under the who you’re attracted to under the term. Including…
•masc males
•fem males
•masc females
•masc nonbinary
•neutral male
•etc
So in other words, I believe that androsexual would fit you well!
#SNUGGLEBOOOOOOOOOOOK! aaaahhh
Lol
Ashley Mardell I would love to buy the book, but I am a closeted, younger person meaning I can't get your book without my parents knowing whether ordering online or bought irl. I also don't want to lie if they confronted me about it. So yeah even though buying it doesn't directly out me, questions would rise. :( I'm sure it's amazing though (from what I've pieced together from the videos)
she will be releasing a free ebook as well!
Audio book maybe? :)
Ashley Mardell im sure it does but does your book cover the demi sexual/romantic area? I feel like it gets called "fake" to often.
People: I really wish people would stop inventing these orientations...you can't just make up words
Me: *whispers* Yes you can literally all words are made up. The word homosexual was made up just a couple centuries ago. *shouts* hundreds of thousands of years after people of the same sex started having sex
@@westep4273 Then why are you even here ?
@@purplekitten6637 I'm sorry if people dissagree on a subject they should avoid the others areasfor discussion like the plague why?
NC car guy Gender as an entire concept is made up, GUY. You do realize that people are different and have different life experiences from you right? Why do you have to put people in boxes? Let them be who they truly feel.
@Thicolas Nicolas wow your a dumbass
androsexual isnt even a made up word. Andro in greek means masculine and so on and so forth. people just want an excuse to hate.🤷🏿♀️
Ashley, this is so cool! I have never known 90% of this, so I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to inform all of us, in an entertaining way! Now I have to buy your book...
Thanks Cassidy!
FYI: Creatively inventing arbitrary categories does not reflect actual human psychology or behaviour.
That's because 100% of it is made up shit, with no basis in reality or science...
90% or 100%? that I wont ever hear again or would want to hear again.
Since a few of them doesn't really make much "sense".
This really resonates with me, I have considered my self bi for sometime but the label fell short for me, mahsexual or androsexual makes more sense. I am attracted to very masculine men, women and non binary folks, I myself am cis and ultra feminine but I swoon for muscular arms, punk rock hair cuts and broad shoulders.
Hey....So...MY BOOK COMES OUT TOMORROW :DD www.amazon.com/ABCs-LGBT-Ashley-Mardell/dp/163353409X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1477337944&sr=8-1&keywords=ashley+mardell
Like this video if you are STOKED!
Ashley Mardell yay! So excited!
Ashley Mardell I will buy your book and snuggle with it
YAY #SNUGGLEBOOK!
oh cool I'm really looking forward too it, much love from a small British youtuber
Ashley Mardell I preordered your book about 2ish weeks ago. I cant wait to read it!!
THANK YOU for making a video on Androsexuality/Masexuality!!! I struggled for a good long time on what to even call my sexuality and finally realized that that's what it is! I can't wait to buy your book and just...learn so much about so many things!! Also, I like how you pointed out that they were the same thing, because I literally didn't know that there was a thing as masexuality until I watched this video...^^; either way, I prefer the term androsexual vs. masexuality simply for the fact it's easier for me to say. :D thanks so much for your videos, they're truly helpful and I love them!!!
I've already bought two one for my friend who's gender fluid and the other one for myself! Can't wait for this book!!!
Thinking about this in tandem with the video collab that Jaclyn put out with her and Arielle yesterday. What I'm seeing here is that people like you and I understand there is complexity in identity that others are either uncomfortable with acknowledging, or just prefer not having to deal with. And when it comes to cis and straight people, I totally get that, because they never really have to think about their gender or their sexuality; it comports with what they'd always been taught is the default, and it "fits", at least well enough that they aren't uncomfortable with it.
I have had issues with Arielle in the past (and even unsubbed her channel) because she'd been pretty transphobic in her language. She's gotten better about not saying trans women aren't women, so I suppose that is a positive, though she still seems to believe that trans women aren't woman enough for her to be involved with (at least the last time that I'd checked in). But what boggles my mind is the rejection of anything that is non-binary. I mean, what would they call an intersexed person with ambiguous genitalia? From their video, it would have to be either "man" or "woman". And that really is far too simplistic for that case, and that's just one of many cases, and the case that would probably be easiest for them to understand.
Multiple genders and "tumblr sexualities" exist because people don't feel that gay/straight/bi "fit". I was one of the first people I knew trying to find alternative terms to "man/woman" and "gay/straight/bi", back in 1997. I threw around terms like "omnigendered" and "fluidly gendered" and "pansexual" trying to get at terms that I could then define and explain in a way that others might comprehend. That's not to say I invented those terms; I wasn't the only one coming up with them at the time, and some of us would use a term meaning one thing while another would mean something else by the same term. But we were all grasping for ways to explain our gender and our sexuality that would "fit" better than what existed. And why weren't we happy with something that existed even if it didn't "fit" perfectly? Because calling yourself "lesbian" can be tricky when you're a pre-transition trans woman in an age when hard anyone in the wider public knew anything about trans people to start with, especially when you tended to have the very, very rare attraction to a particularly feminine male.
I understand why a lot of people make fun of "trendy" identities, especially when they are in a realm where very few can relate. But honestly, 20 years ago very few people could relate to trans identities, and here we are today where trans people are being seen more and more as just another in the variety of humans, and maybe in another 20 years some of these "trendy tumblr identities and sexualities" will come to be seen as being just as normal and human. A lot has changed since I was in college and grasping for my identity. A lot more will change. People who don't understand extended identities shouldn't just dismiss them because it's easier to stay in the rut of their programmed understanding; they should reach out and learn about these extended ideas.
Sorry for the book, but between the two videos I had a lot of thoughts that needed to be expressed.
I love this comment :)
Thank you, Ash. I was hoping that it was understandable and accessible. Sometimes I worry about getting to philosophical and wordy.
Kat Ehas First of all, i want to say that you are totally entitled to have your own opinion, but I just wanted to clear some things up. In Arielle and Jaclyn's video, they don't say you NEED to identify as either male or female. They just want to get out there that for the group of people who indentify with their assigned gender but wouldn't fit the basic stereotype it isn't neccessairy to lable yourself differently. Of course if you don't identify with being labled as male or female, you should be able to have a different lable. But for the group of people who feel comfortable being male or female, their way of presenting shouldn't change that.
Kat Ehas thank you. 🙌🏼
Jasper Perez You're welcome.
I want to buy the book but then I kinda have to come out.
Ikr. Hopefully it comes out in stores so I can buy it with my own money and not have to come out to get it.
Jesus, you are half my age and just helped me put a label on what I am/who I have been for decades. And to coming out, to some degree.
while i understand the crit against gyne and andro, and it really would suck to be rejected romantically/sexually by someone due to your genitalia, i really dont see the big deal. if someone is andro or gyne sexual specifically because of genitalia and they dont want to date you because you dont have that genitalia, oh well. as long as they dont misgender you it shouldnt matter. even if they see you as the gender you are, WHATEVER, it still wont change what they're physically attracted to. there are lesbians who dont like dick, there are gay men who dont like vagina. and calling them bad people for that attraction and not inherent transphobia is something i have a huge moral quandary with.
tl;dr:
transphobia =/= cool
coercing someone into having sex with genitals they dont like becuase of guilt =/= cool
I kind of agree with both of you.
I believe that what sexually attracts you isn't your choice, so if you find the thought of whatever genitalia turns you off then there is nothing inherently transphobic about that, as long as you respect and honour other peoples gender identities.
In terms of anonymous's point about misogyny, I personally don't think attraction equates to how you view or value people. If you find vaginas attractive, regardless of the gender of the person who has it, then that's what you find attractive. It doesn't necessarily mean that you only view that person as a walking vagina - it's just that's the part of the body you find sexually excites you. It probably won't be what romantically interests you in someone, but I don't believe people have a choice with what sexually excites them / repulses them. I would also argue it's not misogynistic as it goes both ways - someone could just as easily say "I'm only attracted to men with penises". Interesting comment though :)
This is a good comment. I think we need to differentiate between discrimination and preference. You can have an exclusive preference without being exclusionary. Just don't be a jerk about it.
I just use queer because it's easy and people understand it. but I'm ace so normally I just day "i don't like sex I just like ladies and nonbinary people"
say*
joshloversts same here nonbinary peoples are my fav and girls are awesome too
Please continue using Queer, because it says far more than you know - it gives a detailed description of your politics and lets the rest of us know we should be giving you a wide birth...
GoAway LeaveMeAlone what? a wide birth? what does that mean? also how does it say anything about politics?
A Wide Berth is keeping you further away than arms length, it's a refusal to engage...
Queer says more about your politics than it does about your sexuality - because it's a purely political label, you just fail to understand that for some reason...
So, I'm Gynesexual. But how does one come out to parents? My family is 1. Very sheltered. 2. Doesn't know anything besides gay/straight/bi. So I guess if/when I do Come Out, I'll just say I'm gay? (I'm genderqueer, but biologically a female) I'll just tell my close friends SPECIFICALLY that I'm Gyne, and just say I'm gay for my parents...?
Do you think that will work?
One step at a time? Maybe try gay at first and when that shock has settled tell them you're genderqueer and prefer using gynesexual? It's probably best not to start off with a word that will sound to them like it's made up. That will only make it easier for them to deny your very real feelings and say you're just confused or this is all just a fad from the internet etcetera.
Laura Backer hmn, I'll do that ^_^ Thank you!
glad I could help :) take care
Laura Backer You too ^^
Or you could just say that you like women, without labelling it. That wouldn't be wrong and you wouldn't have to explain so much.
Also, the song is back!!! *sings* I've been asked on behalf of Ash-ley...
Thanks Ashley!
this video is so well edited omg
I love learning time! And as a nonbinary person, this felt like a hug through the screen. Haha.
Perfect transitions and editing as always, Ash!
It was weird seeing my ugly mug on someone else's channel, but if it can help people come to a greater understanding of themselves, it's worth it.
🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️
I had actually wondered how genderfluid/nonbinary people could clearly express their sexuality, thanks for teaching!
not going to lie, I kinda came into watching this video with a closed mind thinking 'ugh more labels', but wanted be proven wrong - dunno exactly who to phrase it, and so far you have
and I'm not even finished watching it! I feel really silly I didn't think about these labels before now. You're videos are so insightful and interesting and that's why I had to click on it. Keep doing what you're doing because you have helped me a lot as well as probably so many others! xxx
Its TOTALLY ok to be unaware of some of these labels and their meanings. It would be IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to be completely informed. Its just important to keep an open mind and remember that there are lots of individuals out there different from you, and thats an awesome thing! :)
Ashley Mardell thank you!! And I will do :))
I think the only real differance is if you want to use Germanic or Greek routed words. The thing is, if you put together words from Latin or Greek to make a new word it sounds scientific and respectable - like a real word - to most English speakers, whereas when you put together Germanic words to make a new word it tends to sound more made-up to English speakers (unless it just sounds like straight-up German).
Gyne means pertaining to women, from the Greek gyno, gynaikos meaning woman. We could also use something related to femininus, which means basically the same thing in Latin. For pertaining to men, we can use andro from Greek or masculinus from Latin.
Loved Josh's definition, that's the exact one I use too, as I am also Androsexual! More people need to know these terms!
This blessed my little heart so much! 💜💜💜 signed, a newly freed Androsexual✨✨✨
This has once more made me so excited for your book. Can't wait Ash!!
the title and thumbnail: btw androsexuality exists and is valid
me, an androsexual girl (who leans towards nonbinary people): *happy representation noises*
You are completely fabulous
The Awkward Snail so is your profile pic :D
Katie Wigman ayyy whovian
Aww what a lovely person, i hope your having a great day as you are awesome and amazing, much love from a small British youtuber
i have stumbled upon you while watching echo gillette, and i am very pleased i did. i identity as non binary and pansexual because:
•im attracted to straight and gay men
•im attracted to straight and lesbian females
•im attracted to non binary beanies like myself
•im attracted to transgender sweetheart's
the list goes on and on.
i thought that pansexual was a very fitting label for myself.
i just found a place where i am comfortable to talk about my sexuality and gender, so i will do so.
thank you, ash!
Cool video! I am agender and I'm attracted to boys but I identify as queer. I use 'queer' because I find femininity in boys attractive and also it's simpler for a lot of people to understand. 😀 I totally understand why someone would identify 'masexual' though! 😊
One of the reasons why I subscribed to you YEARSS ago is because you're editing literally inspires me and I hope to be as great at it as you one day. HOWEVER: although I lovee your transitions, as someone who is colorblind, sometimes I have no fucking idea what they are there for until I hear you say it (0:43).
Other than that great video and amazing editing as always. Definitely learned something new! I've labeled myself as "gay" to make it easier for others to understand such as friends and family, but maybe I'm androsexual since really I'm attracted to masculine traits ?? Guess I'll have to explore myself some more :p
Every time you upload a video I learn so so much!! Thank you!
I'm so glad these identities exist. This video has helped me start to figure a big part of myself out. Thanks so much for making these fantastic videos :D
Are there words to describe sexual attraction to people with specific genitalia rather than their gender? Like being sexually attracted to any gender of person as long as they have specific genitalia? Or is that just considered sexist/transphobic/etc.? I'm sincerely curious.
Mel Yea idk how exactly genitalia preference would be bigoted in any way but I have seen people say that attraction to only certain genitalia is transphobic. I guess yoni- and phallo- make sense for what I'm thinking of. And yea, I can see how that wouldn't really be a "type" of sexuality since it doesn't relate you and your gender to the gender of people you are attracted to. Thanks for your input!
Mel Maybe something like "phallocentric" or "yonicentric" would be better words for what I'm trying to describe, since it wouldn't really be a sexuality, but a descriptor for your sexuality. I wonder what an all inclusive descriptor could be? As in no preference for any specific genitalia (including any type of genitalia all over the spectrum).
Yeah, I thought "andro" and "gyne" were useful for that purpose, but they've been criticized for having that connotation? So now they can't be used? It's rather unfortunate imo.
T-Shades Yea I thought that would have been the intention for those prefixes too.
Okay, so after some research it looks like the terms would be "phallo-" and "gyno-" which is very subtly different from "gynE-" Alexandra
The perception of words such as andro-sexual you present here is so interesting. However andro comes from the Greek andras which literally means man, linked to ancient Greek aren=man, and arenopotita= masculinity. Therefore accord to linguistic roots (sorry for being such a linguistic nerd, on my way to my PhD) androsexual has more to do with masculinity than genitalia. I'm an androsexual, which means I'm attracted to masculinity, which includes all genders (men, women, non binary, agender) with strong masculine characteristics and auras. So feel free to use it if you want to! Still, anyone can identify with any words that make them feel more comfortable. Thank you for your video! 😁
I did identify as androsexual, but I stopped when a friend told me it wasn't really a sexuality, and more so just a preference thing.
No it’s valid♥️
no it is a preference. you are most likely just straight.
Omg I've always told people I was bi with a strong preference for men and this finally gives me a word for it! Because truly it is masculinity I'm attracted to, I'm just as unatracted to feminine men as I am to feminine women! Eureka!
im a cis female who has been struggling SO MUCH lately to find the correct label for those times when I'm forced to label myself, and even though im cis, i think im androsexual ??? i like boys, but i also like non binary people and even lesbians who express great masculinity ??? it's really confusing. like, there is even a gender fluid person I fancy at school who i almost lose attraction to when they have a more feminine day (which sounds horrible, I know lol! I adore them a lot as a person, but just attraction wise, I prefer when they are more masculine). so I have been flipping out lol does this mean I'm just a bisexual who is also a terrible human being or am I something else hahaha
im a mess sexuality is so confusing for me iT SHOULDNT BE THIS CONFUSING
Aleksi T. thank you for the comforting reply, I appreciate it! :))
Ahh thank you for this :3 I am an Androsexual and I hate having to constantly explain it lol 😊
This video could not have come at a better time! I've been trying to find an alternative to 'lesbian', which is what I currently identify with as I am solely attracted to females, however I have been questioning whether or not I fully identify as female, so an alternative is great
this is so sad. you're not a gynesexual, you're just a lesbian. the fact that people are trying to make lesbianism male inclusive is so so horrifically homophobic
....I think you misunderstood. It wasn't created for binary men to use. Its for nonbinary people.
I think you might have misunderstood. Gynesexual is mostly for non-binary people who don't want to implicitly identify as male or female when telling people who they're attracted to. It's a way of stating the gender(s) you're attracted to without having to say anything about your own gender.
I don't see how that makes lesbianism male inclusive. Gynesexual isn't the same as being a lesbian, and it has nothing to do with being attracted to males, so I don't understand the connection you're making here. Would you care to explain?
Please don''t tell people who they are, this is separate from the lesbian sexuality, it's not a replacement.
Jenna Mueller its not making it male-inclusive? its saying "im attracted to girls, but im not a girl (so therefore not a lesbian) and also not a boy (so not straight"
This is really cool, I've actually always wondered what labels there are for NB people who are specifically attracted to one gender, it does seems strange that most sexual orientations seem to refer to your own gender as well as that of people you're attracted to. Anyway, thanks for clearing that up for me 🙃
okay so i'm an androgynous lesbian and it's to my understanding that our lgbtq movement thing is that we're basically trying to get to a point where we don't have to come out and we don't have to label everything and worry about who you're attracted to right? so...how is labeling every sexuality and gender identity down to the tiniest detail helping with that? I mean it's kinda hypocritical in some ways. i mean i understand wanting to be able to put how you're feeling into specific words that describe it perfectly but... we want to work past labeling and work past putting everything into boxes. Idk just my opinion. Sorry if this offended anybody. this wasn't supposed to hurt anyone i just wanted to start a conversation and understand better :)
oml i cant begin to say how much this video has helped me, THANK YOU SO MUCH
Well, that's nice. As long as nobody gets offended when I don't know their specific kind of orientation (rather specific, newer words like skoliosexual or androsexual), I'll tolerate it. I am ready to learn and I am ready to adopt certain words, phrases and kinds of behaviour. Just don't bother me, please.
.....this comment is so condescending...am I being trolled?
No, I am just a douche, I guess. Look, I am not in touch with any people beyond the gender binary, at least not in person. Others' lives are not my business. I am just having troubles fully comprehending this whole movement, probably due to my lack of experiences.
Can we just forget about this? I feel pretty stupid right now and terrible because of it.
I agree with you entirely. I don't personally find it necessary to continue inventing these labels which are arguably fake, but if someone claims such a title, whatever. I'll never be one to judge another person, and I'll comply to their pronouns and such. I'm not going to try to invalidate them even if my views vary. They just can't expect the entire world to agree with them and immediately know what pronouns they use.
even though I don't like labeling myself (atm I call myself bi, but I'm not 100% sure), i love learning about all these words i've never heard! and i can understand why labeling themselves is so important to other people :)
okay i don't want to sound like an asshole but i really don't understand why all of these terms exist?? i'm a female and super gay so i guess i don't really understand what it's like to be on the spectrum but why are there so many terms for gender and sexuality? i mean, i get if you like boys, or girls, or both, but having a billion terms to describe your gender and sexuality seems pretty unnecessary. i definitely know being transgender is valid, and i understand genderqueerness, but why is there a hundred terms to describe genderqueerness? i've heard agender, polygender, pangender, greygender, etc. and it just doesn't make sense to me, and lots of these crazier terms don't seem very applicable or understandable to anyone outside of tumblr.
it makes you feel understood and it's easier for you to find other people who feel the same way. I can see how it seems crazy or waaaay too much for people on the outside, but if you feel like one of those terms fits you after tirelessly searching for a way to describe your feelings, it's a big relief.
i can't speak for the gender terms you mentioned, but the sexuality terms in this video exist because they have to. what other term can a nonbinary person use to express that they're attracted exclusively to women/men?
gay/lesbian
back when I identified as only non-binary, I used androphile/androsexual to mean that I'm attracted to "men and masculinity" as well. I think maybe I was comfortable with that back then since I've always questioned attraction to women, but only masculine presenting women would questionably catch my eye. Then in 2014, people were criticizing and encouraging that the andro- and gyne- prefixes be thrown out, which I didn't necessarily agree with since no one claims that the genders of androgynes are genitalia-based, but I was like "fine." And then became a long stretch of trying to identify as bi or polysexual. Later that year I realized I was a nonbinary trans man, so I was also wondering if I should just call myself gay, or even homoflexible. I didn't like the exclusivity and implications of everything. and no, queer by itself doesn't work for me because I don't pass, so being an obviously AFAB person saying "I'm queer" sounds like "I'm mostly attracted to women".
This year I found achillean and it being an umbrella for gay, bi, pan and queer men makes it perfect for me. I could be gay or bi, but what I'm most certain about is that I'm achillean!
"I've never heard of these, so it doesn't exist."
Yeah, well, you've never heard of cactus flowers either Carol.
such a great video. i'm definitely putting your book on my christmas wishlist :D
also, I was so happy to hear your ending theme song, I've missed it these past few videos. it might be shallow but that theme song is the main reason my cis straight brother really got into your videos and watched them all to the end. it led with him being very educated about all things queer and very accepting of me in all my queerness
2:44 his voice is soooooooooooo perfect!!!!
Thank you, dearie! I quite enjoy it, myself
Thank you so much I used to identify as pansexul thinking that I liked all genders but when I thought more on it I relized I was not attracted to more fem peaple. But I was still attracted to mass people regardless of genitalia. So I am now androsexul thanks to your education!!
See, my sexual orientation and romantic orientation don't match. And I've always felt a little...idk...maybe guilty for that? I'm sexually attracted to both men and women. But I've only ever fallen in love with men. Because of that, I've never really pursued a sexual relationship with a woman because I always felt like I'd be misleading her somehow. I don't feel like I can even call myself bi, even though that's what I feel I am, because I've only ever fallen in love with men. Idk. Sexuality is complicated sometimes. 😕
Jolie Eastman Its okay for your romantic and sexual attraction not to match! You shouldn't have to feel guilty because of who you are and you're allowed to call yourself bisexual if you feel that way. Being heteroromantic just adds to who you are!
@hazzasgurlie thanks for the encouragement!
Yah, your not the only heteroromantic bisexual.
ordering your book, like, this week. then I'll be reading it, highlighting bits that apply to me and giving it to my mom read. she's a less than good ally, and I think some education could ready help. thank you soooooooo much for doing this project!!!
I'm bi but often times I just say I'm queer.
I just wanted to say that I lOVE the content and that your videos have helped me find labels (I'm somewhere between gynesexual and pansexual and bigender) and this series has really helped me with that. ily
ikr, well done for finding your true self, i hope your having a great day, much love from a small British youtuber
That's awesome! Those are really identities :)
i dont intend to sound mean, and i in no way want this comment to blow up, but i no longer like ashley mardell.i dont like her content.i miss when she had a beer and a chat, and those funny little challenges with her girlfriend.
Carrie Mattevi she changed
Carrie Mattevi I think she has very strong beliefs that dictate her channel's content- obviously because it's her channel and her choice of what she post, put it's still a change
I'm so glad I know what I can identify with now! I'm genderfluid and I like mainly masculine people (mostly men, but there are some women and nb people I think are attractive too). But saying I'm gay for either doesn't really fit with the feelings I'm trying to express, so masexual really feels like what I'm trying to convey :D
I honestly don't know what I am XD
For gender I just don't care, if one day I woke up and somehow was a man I would not care or feel the need to transition, and I don't feel the need to transition from female to male either. I just don't care, so I guess that would make me Agender? I also don't care if people call ma a she,he,they,etc.
Idk, labels are so complicated. Who needs them? You be you
I agree. Labels are great when it comes to finding other people to relate too and good for people to discuss struggles / discrimination facing certain minority groups, but if you can't find / don't want a label then don't give yourself one. For some people finding the most accurate label is more hassle than it's worth and it may be something that comes to you in later life. In the meantime you be you and try not to worry about it too much :)
Ashley you have literally saved my life ngl. I hope you see this ♥
+Ashley Mardell omg boo :)
OMG she replied, love you ashley much love from a small British youtuber
+LifeAsCam I subbed to your channel just now. I love helping small youtubers out with growing their channel :) have a nice night sweetie xx
+LifeAsCam I subbed to your channel just now. I love helping small youtubers out with growing their channel :) have a nice night sweetie xx
#snugglebook
Hey Ashley, I have been watching your videos for a while and if memory serves me right you haven't talked about the terms "eafluid"/"marfluid"/"venufluid". I am not sure if these terms are enough for a whole video of their own but I would be incredibly happy if you could maybe consider putting them in a video. I am personally very interested in these terms, mostly "eafluid", and the way you explain things is very clear and easy to understand and I would really appreciate it if you could incorporate these terms in a future video. Thanks!
Homoflexible...so bisexual but just with a preference? Seriously, there's no need for all of these labels. You could literally just say 'I'm Bisexual but I have a preference towards ____'.
It gets confusing and it's unnecessary. I don't care what you have to say.
Its not a preference; attraction is not a choice. The term essentially refers to 1%; 1 in 100 of their crushes being toward another gender; they feel its far too rare for them to go by bisexual.
halfofakitty It's still a preference and bisexual.
homoflexible is less words though
Homofelxible is actually easier to say, lol, so unless you're a complete bafoons it's not confusing at all.
I hate being called bi, so I go with homoflexible, it fits me better because 90% of my attractions are guys. Why the actual hell do you care how people identify, It's not your life, and bi JUST DOES NOT FIT FOR ME.thank you
i identify as androromantic asexual. i like it more because it is more inclusive toward liking nonbinary and genderfluid people. :]
i really wish i could buy your book Ashley but i just caaant 😡😢😢
oh cool thats so useful thank you, i hope your having great day as you are awesome, much love from a British youtuber
thats great, thanks i hope i can wait that long!
LifeAsCam Not a problem, enjoy!
I've thought of this a lot before. Sometimes I'll think "if I was a guy... well then I'd be gay"; this usually follows after some other thought process and is just a tangent, but it does come up sometimes. And also in other contexts. So I'm glad there is a way to talk about this - I think it should be the standard!
can you really say that the association of pronouns isn't grammatical? i mean, use the pronouns that people want you to use for them, but im pretty sure that since we have been using pronouns in English for...ever that they are grammatical associations. maybe you can argue that they shouldn't be.
emily fuuu no, it isn't grammatical. Feel free to watch the pronoun video if you want to learn more about it!
I love this! I finially figured out the terms for my sexuality and romantic attraction, thank you so much for making this!
Androsexual = “I’m straight but want to join the ‘I’m gay’ cool crowd so I can make videos!”
Lmaooo u commented this on multiple videosss ahaha you're pathetic and dead wrong
You're spot on. Demi-sexual = not a skank i.e you're an average person. These narcissists have confused minor aspects of their temperament, fashion choices and personality with gender. Incredibly self indulgent.
Just ordered your book on amazon finally! so stoked and excited!
Guys, stop worrying about labels, just like who you like, you do not need to explain it to other people! For the love of god, the more labels there are, the more discrimination.
Clare Novell So now were supposed to cater towards the needs of people who discriminate? Their hate is their problem. Our labels are our problem. It's quite simple.
(im really late but) i agree, but i think that not having a label to easily express your sexuality is bad because trying to explain is difficult, and if you dont state what your attracted to everyone will assume your straight :/
Thank you for making this!! I had no idea womasexuality or womaromantic existed and had always felt weird explicitly saying I like feminine people or I'm pansexual but homoromantic cuz that never really fit just right. IM WOMA* in every way it comes. Thank you.
sexuality isnt this compilicated
Labels are, and society is very simple minded so, unfortunately, labels are necessary
apparently not for you, no, it isn't. But everyone else is not you, and you are not everyone else. For other people, yes, it is this complicated. For some it's more so, for some it's less so. Because everyone is different.
^Agreed
lunad poe it isn't complicated. It is diverse. There is a difference.
such a great job giving exposure to lesser known identities. congrats on your book!
is it trnsphobic to only be attracted to one set of genitals? like if I'm a lesbain and i'm not into penises, is it trans exclusionary?
you can't choose who or what you're attracted to, so no it's not transphobic since you don't have control over it
Jordyn Reed some would probably say it is, but if you aren't attracted to people with penises its your life. do what you want.
No its not, don't feel you are being exclusionary if you don't fancy someone by their genitals, its like not fancying someone because they are fat or a certain look it may not be nice, but its just who you are attracted too, btw have a great day as you are awesome, much love from a small British youtuber
Some would say so but if you're not into penises and they don't turn you on there's nothing you can do about it. I personally feel the same as you. I think the important thing is how you tell someone if you do tell them you're not sexually attracted to penises
Edit: I do think that if you just label someone as a no go from the get-go then it is a bit of an iffy thing. But like for me, if I fell in love with someone that had a penis I wouldn't write them off just because of it, you know?
Jordyn Reed no it's not transphobic, just like it's not biphobic to be straight or that it would be racist if your preference was white girls
What if you consider yourself as Male or you are one since birth and you are attracted to men but only masculine men, are you considered Homosexual (Gay) or Androsexual?
Edit: Or can you identify yourself as a Gay Androsexual?
Ahh I want your book so bad but A/ i'm broke right now and B. I don't think my mom would let me anyway :/
Gorillaz, Homestuck, MCDTrash Same, but my parents are homophobic. ya.
I had never considered nonbinary people might feel uncomfortable using words like "gay" or "lesbian" to describe themselves and creating new words that feel more accurate to their identities, so thank you for making this video!
i really wish i could #snugglebook but i'm a minor and my parents are lgbt+phobic so i'll just suffer quetly
i love your youtube channel because it makes people feel so represented,, im gynosexual and this video made me feel very happy
Hell I never new about masexuality, but i fell like it ay be my thing
Like yeah, im attracted to men, but also i can assume that it would be great for me to have relationships with non-binary folks who are masculine
Guess that could be an option
There's an actual word for my feelings WOAH
More left leaning propaganda.
After scouring many sources (including this video, which is great BTW) I realized that sometimes you gotta combine some labels to describe yourself, like me :)
Just stop
you are too cute, and I love your nervous ending about buying your book
I recently found the label homoflexible and I identify with it as well :)
I am a woman and attracted to masculinity over gender but I am sure that I can't have sexual relationship with a female even if she is masculine...Really confused !!
this explains who you are and who you're attracted to. no need to be ashamed etc.
I'm grateful to you for making this lovely video, really wanting to buy your book.
Pre ordered her book on Amazon. If you haven't seen her series I think this would be a good book to read because I can't remember everything she's talked about.
I'm a non-binary and now I can find a label I can identify with! Thank you Ash!!! :D
still in the middle of the video but as I'm watching, I have to get this out. josh is cool as hell. never seen him before. he's really well spoken and funny.
also, Ashley, if I can afford it, I will buy your book because I think it would be a great book to have in my collection. either way, I can't wait to read it.
Why, thank you! Aren't you the sweetest? I'm blushing so much that I look like a slushie.
Just ordered the book :) Also, I really want to thank you for the way in which you complicate identity and show that sexuality and gender isn't always cut and dry. (Sometimes I try to explain this to people and they look at me like I'm crazy.) Personally, I describe myself as a bisexual cis woman; however, I am attracted to non-binary folks as well, and I find that hard femme is a better way to describe my gender than just plain "woman." I guess this means I'm technically pan? I don't know! I just say bi because it's the word that feels like it's the best fit, but since I also understand that gender is a spectrum, being bi for me is more to do with being attracted to folks of more than one type of gender presentation. When in doubt, I tell people I like both pie and cake :)
Snaps on snaps on snaps. This video is amazing and so so important. I really wish this was taught better in schools. There are toooo many ignorant fools at my highschool that keep telling my friends and I that we're not valid.
Did or do you have your book at boneshakers? I was visiting in the twin cities recently and feel like I could've seen the cover but am not sure? Either way, I have to order it now because I really have never heard of any of the sexualities you discussed in this video. Definitely informative!
Hey. Also I'm excited to get your book, and I also recommend 'this book is gays despite being apart of the LGBTQIA+ I always love learning about it. You seem to like to learn and grow in your knowledge. I recommend it! (plus the doodles are pretty cute)
Can these terms be used for cisgender people too? Because I'm a cisgender female and I've been trying to understand myself for quite some time now and I think masexual/androsexual fits me best.
I don't think I quite identify as bi since I'm not that into the feminine aspects (except sometimes) but I usually find myself being attracted to people (women, men or non-binary) who have a sort of masculine air about them.
Anyone else ecstatic aboutAshley's book?.... and pleased that the usual end screen tune is back?
im getting your book in november, cant wait!!
Thank you so much, I was just thinking about this recently but I'm still a lil' bit confused as I identify as non-binary or agender so what would I be, as I'm more into people who identify or are females but sometimes into men (occasionally/rarely) . If you would get back, that would be amazing. Thank you!:)