Sean, I heard your father speak once and took notes. I had written down that exact phrase-Rules without relationships leads to rebellion. I still have those notes on my phone. Thanks for your podcast and furthering our knowledge about how to understand the next generation and how to pass on our faith.
Great interview Sean. I found myself saying, "Amen!" quite a lot, perhaps because I came to many of the same conclusions in my book, "Parenting AAA: God's Goals and Guidelines for Generational Spiritual Reproduction." The times I researched outside of the Bible (not oft), I read your parenting book, among others, along with Bengtson's great work on faith transmission.
Loved this interview and can’t wait to read both of your books. I tried to instill my faith in my 4 children. I wasn’t a perfect parent but thankfully I had a good relationship with all 4 of them. Although I have a daughter who I believed to be the most grounded in her faith, only to be shocked that at 44 years old and after 23 years of marriage and 7 beautiful children she decided she was gay and divorced her wonderful husband and is living with her female partner. My faith remains but my heart was hurt and my relationship with her was hurt. I’m praying for restoration of our relationship and yet finding it difficult to converse with her now. What would you advise on this situation?
Hi Tina. I’m glad you’re in good relationship with all of your kids. I hesitate to offer my thoughts because I know this is a complex situation. Yet, since you asked, my biggest encouragement is to keep focusing on the relationship and take a long term perspective. I can understand how hard this would be. You’re certainly not alone as I hear from parents in similar situations regularly.
Thanks Sean - I have had similar responses from clergy and other parents as well. Looking forward to a positive outcome in His perfect time! Blessings!
@@kelseykjarsgaard5774 Why are atheistic parents allowed to teach their children about their philosophical viewpoint, but not theistic parents? Even atheistic philosophers accept that theists are rational. You are being discriminatory.
Kids quickly assess the reality of the faith claims of their parents, looking for consistency between their Sunday/church profile and the actual daily life in the home and world view of the parents. A "good look" on Sunday that is unsupported Mon-Sat undermines faith. Humility by mom and dad goes a long way.
This was very interesting and encouraging. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said the quality of the relationship between the parents and the children is key. Are there any statistics out there on whether homeschooling leads to young people continuing in the faith more? I have a friend who raised four children single-handed after her husband abandoned her. And praise God they are all very much going on with the Lord and three are pastors. So it can be done against the odds.
Great question. I don’t have data on homeschooling, specifically. My suspicion is that the bigger issue is the level of relationship, and the spiritual engagement, rather than the particular schooling choice. This is not to say there may be no difference, but I think the bigger research in his book is the key issue.
Hey from personal experience I was homeschooled all my life and a Christian till I was 24, 31 now and a atheist. At 27 I didn’t think I was a Christian but still believed the Bible was true. Now I don’t. Hope that helps rest of my family is Christian though and brother is a pastor.
@@CalvinR90 thanks for your reply and honesty. Would be interesting to know what caused your decision. I’m also intrigued as to why you still listen to things like this. I was loosely raised a Christian but rejected it and became atheist at an early age due to a poor relationship with my parents. Basically I thought if Christianity was saying one thing and doing another, I didn’t want anything to do with it. They didn’t have a living relationship with Jesus though. Eventually I encountered Jesus and have been praying for my mother to find him since.
@@SeanMcDowell thank you very much for your reply. I would suspect likewise. But as your guest said, you can have one family with different results for different children. It would be helpful if there were guarantees!
If Children are also given opportunity’s to get involved in more activities, other than JUST a Sunday… ! I saw how they love fun activities on Friday nights, and Holiday Clubs. And Christian groups at Schools if they allowed… ! I witnessed many teenagers who came from Aethesist Homes…Whose lives did a turn around! This was all Pre- COVID. They are adults now who still Love The Lord.
Excellent conversation and really interested to find out more data about single parent households and other demographics on raising their children in the faith. Happy New Year Sean, hope you have a lovely time with your family and hope next year the Lord will bless your ministry even more. :)
Holy hell, I have just been binging Christian Smith videos and just read Handing Down the Faith. Although I'm atheist, I think studying sociology of religion is very important!
@@SeanMcDowell of course! I also saw your recent chat about being gay and being biblical too with Colby Martin. I have a story for why I read Smith's book. I had read Vern Bengtson's book 2 years ago, and I think even atheists have to be good parents who understand how to socialize their children with their own values. I came across Smith because I was searching up Moralistic Therapeutic Deism recently and I appreciate Smith's nonjudgemental, data-driven approach. I appreciate your combination of politeness and honesty very much.
I can testify that grandparents are a huge impact. Well my great grandma anyways. If not for her I don’t believe anyone would have introduced me to Jesus.
A good starting point would be to baptize your kids and not withhold the sign of God’s covenant from them. Everything else in this conversation flows from that starting point.
First, embrace God’s grace! This may help. I’ve got a few interviews you can find on deconstruction that may be helpful: m.ua-cam.com/video/QNF2TlD58dg/v-deo.html
So after almost 2000 years someone is going to present us with “research” on how to present the Gospel? Oh PULEEZE. “Sociological data” Ya know, with all due respect (actually none) but with Christian humility- just HUSH. Sheesh. It’s the preaching the WORD that converts. Just QUOTE it if necessary. It has Power. You and your silly methods do not.
Sean and his guest completely miss the point. They totally failed to deal with the real issue . . . many young Christians are leaving the faith because of the credibility and content of the message; it's got very little to do with the behaviour of parents, pastors, etc. Any young person with an Internet connection (i.e. all of them) can find information which presents a serious challenge to the Christian faith. It will take decades and decades, but the Internet will be the place where religion goes to die.
Although I agree with you that religion is full of nonsense, what you are saying here is not true. Most children who have a good relationship with their religious parents stay in the same faith. People have been waiting for religion to die for about 300 years now and it is still around, in many forms. Don't underestimate the social power of religion.
It's certainly true that anyone with access to the internet will be inundated with claims against Christianity. But other than the high numbers of internet sources making those claims, it's really no different than the atheist and antitheist relatives and acquaintances Christian children have always grown up with. And the surrounding society which has grown more secular and even hostile over the years. The role of larger society was actually addressed in the video. Anyone with access to the internet can also use it to find Biblically, scientifically and historically sound answers to those questions. It can be confusing to sort through all the conflicting information and find trustworthy sources, both on and off the internet. But young people are more internet savvy now than a generation ago. And Christian laity, leaders and scholars have become far more involved in internet ministry, realizing not only the reach, but also the need for it.
@@turdferguson3400 Thanks for your reply. I agree with you that people have been waiting for religion to die for a long time. I actually don't think it ever will entirely, mainly because we are pattern seeking apes who seek for . . . "hope, meaning and purpose" . . . plus social connection, and religion provides just that for many people. Nevertheless, I do think there is a major difference when it comes to the Internet, which I think will be the most succesful thing ever for divesting a large number of people of their relgious beliefs. There will always be a core of believers, but the Internet will play a huge role in making that a very much smaller core of people.
@@tinahochstetler2189 Thanks for your reply. I agree with your point that things work both ways. Just as there is more anti-Christian (also anti-Theist) information on the web, so too there is the opportunity for Christians and Theists to put their case. Nevertheless, I think the Internet poses a challenge to one of the biggest issues in Christianity which is rarely talked about - I refer to Biblical illiteracy amongst Christians. Most Christians seem to have what could be termed a "Disney" version of their faith without any real in-depth knowledge of what the Bible actually says. The fact that - via the Internet - atheists and Christians are now having a much more high profile and very public dialogue can only mean that the very many problematic issues raised by Christianity come into sharper focus and I believe that this can only mean many more people deciding to leave the faith. Mark Twain summed it up perfectly when he said . . . "The best cure for Christianity is to read the Bible."
Christianity and every other religion are in the same boat when they come to their ultimate claims. And eventually with time and evolution Christianity and every other religion will be regulated to a primitive history.
Christianity is exclusive in that it is a faith based religion and has nothing to do with Works. Jesus is the only way to eternal salvation and you will be finding that out when you kneel before him for judgment so I would suggest being less arrogant and more repentant and seeking him diligently and he will open himself up to you and you can see the truth
@@jasonbaum7432 The arrogance and delusion is yours for believing you deserve more than winning the lottery of life even if it is just a brief moment in time. Accepting reality is the opposite of arrogance!
@@PC-vg8vn The American Christian worship of Donald Trump was one convincing eye-opener. This one example clearly illustrates the ability to believe in lies while at the same time Christians deny the reality of the science of Climate Change and Vaccines. While I know you say this isn't all Christians...I agree. But I would say it is an overwhelming majority. And this harms humanity. I hate seeing my nation turned into the Taliban lite with States like Texas forcing abused women and children to give birth. These are just a few of the reasons but ulitmately there isn't one shred of evidence that proves otherwise.
@@royhiggins7270 Mr. Higgins, not all Christians believed nor supported Mr. Trump. (Often wondered myself what these folks saw about him that was so righteous !!) Mr. Trump represents everything The Bible talks about false teachers, leaders, etc. Christians should not promote hatred, hate language and hateful propaganda PERIOD.
Sean, I heard your father speak once and took notes. I had written down that exact phrase-Rules without relationships leads to rebellion. I still have those notes on my phone. Thanks for your podcast and furthering our knowledge about how to understand the next generation and how to pass on our faith.
That’s amazing. I LOVE that quote and am glad it’s stayed with you!
21:00-21:30 is a sound-bite of gold
Great interview Sean. I found myself saying, "Amen!" quite a lot, perhaps because I came to many of the same conclusions in my book, "Parenting AAA: God's Goals and Guidelines for Generational Spiritual Reproduction."
The times I researched outside of the Bible (not oft), I read your parenting book, among others, along with Bengtson's great work on faith transmission.
Thanks!
Loved this interview and can’t wait to read both of your books. I tried to instill my faith in my 4 children. I wasn’t a perfect parent but thankfully I had a good relationship with all 4 of them. Although I have a daughter who I believed to be the most grounded in her faith, only to be shocked that at 44 years old and after 23 years of marriage and 7 beautiful children she decided she was gay and divorced her wonderful husband and is living with her female partner. My faith remains but my heart was hurt and my relationship with her was hurt. I’m praying for restoration of our relationship and yet finding it difficult to converse with her now. What would you advise on this situation?
Hi Tina. I’m glad you’re in good relationship with all of your kids. I hesitate to offer my thoughts because I know this is a complex situation. Yet, since you asked, my biggest encouragement is to keep focusing on the relationship and take a long term perspective. I can understand how hard this would be. You’re certainly not alone as I hear from parents in similar situations regularly.
Thanks Sean - I have had similar responses from clergy and other parents as well. Looking forward to a positive outcome in His perfect time! Blessings!
❤
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
As long not indoctrination and true
@@kelseykjarsgaard5774
Why are atheistic parents allowed to teach their children about their philosophical viewpoint, but not theistic parents?
Even atheistic philosophers accept that theists are rational.
You are being discriminatory.
Kids quickly assess the reality of the faith claims of their parents, looking for consistency between their Sunday/church profile and the actual daily life in the home and world view of the parents. A "good look" on Sunday that is unsupported Mon-Sat undermines faith. Humility by mom and dad goes a long way.
This was very interesting and encouraging. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said the quality of the relationship between the parents and the children is key. Are there any statistics out there on whether homeschooling leads to young people continuing in the faith more? I have a friend who raised four children single-handed after her husband abandoned her. And praise God they are all very much going on with the Lord and three are pastors. So it can be done against the odds.
Km M
mom
hmmmm
mmmk
Mmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmlmmmkkmmmmkkkkmmkkkkkmkkkkkkmkkmk
Great question. I don’t have data on homeschooling, specifically. My suspicion is that the bigger issue is the level of relationship, and the spiritual engagement, rather than the particular schooling choice. This is not to say there may be no difference, but I think the bigger research in his book is the key issue.
Hey from personal experience I was homeschooled all my life and a Christian till I was 24, 31 now and a atheist. At 27 I didn’t think I was a Christian but still believed the Bible was true. Now I don’t. Hope that helps rest of my family is Christian though and brother is a pastor.
@@CalvinR90 thanks for your reply and honesty. Would be interesting to know what caused your decision. I’m also intrigued as to why you still listen to things like this. I was loosely raised a Christian but rejected it and became atheist at an early age due to a poor relationship with my parents. Basically I thought if Christianity was saying one thing and doing another, I didn’t want anything to do with it. They didn’t have a living relationship with Jesus though. Eventually I encountered Jesus and have been praying for my mother to find him since.
@@SeanMcDowell thank you very much for your reply. I would suspect likewise. But as your guest said, you can have one family with different results for different children. It would be helpful if there were guarantees!
If Children are also given opportunity’s to get involved in more activities, other than JUST a Sunday… !
I saw how they love fun activities on Friday nights, and Holiday Clubs.
And Christian groups at Schools if they allowed… !
I witnessed many teenagers who came from Aethesist Homes…Whose lives did a turn around!
This was all Pre- COVID. They are adults now who still Love The Lord.
Excellent conversation and really interested to find out more data about single parent households and other demographics on raising their children in the faith. Happy New Year Sean, hope you have a lovely time with your family and hope next year the Lord will bless your ministry even more. :)
Thanks Jennifer. I’m glad it was interesting!
@@SeanMcDowell This is GARBAGE!!!
@@SeanMcDowell
..
.
Holy hell, I have just been binging Christian Smith videos and just read Handing Down the Faith. Although I'm atheist, I think studying sociology of religion is very important!
Well, Turd... I think your mustache is a bit too big... LOL
and... You're not very good at Jeopardy.
Thanks for watching my channel. I’m intrigued that, as an atheist, you’ve been following Smith!
@@SeanMcDowell of course! I also saw your recent chat about being gay and being biblical too with Colby Martin.
I have a story for why I read Smith's book. I had read Vern Bengtson's book 2 years ago, and I think even atheists have to be good parents who understand how to socialize their children with their own values. I came across Smith because I was searching up Moralistic Therapeutic Deism recently and I appreciate Smith's nonjudgemental, data-driven approach.
I appreciate your combination of politeness and honesty very much.
I can testify that grandparents are a huge impact. Well my great grandma anyways. If not for her I don’t believe anyone would have introduced me to Jesus.
👍
I’m curious what factor a kid calling another adult their “mom” or “dad” would make?
Sean thanks. What was the other book?
He wrote a great book SOUL SEARCHING, but it’s dated. The one I mentioned as a “how to” is my book with J Warner SO THE NEXT GENERATION WILL KNOW.
A good starting point would be to baptize your kids and not withhold the sign of God’s covenant from them. Everything else in this conversation flows from that starting point.
What do you suggest for millennials and GenZ who left the faith? I am a mom that messed up.
First, embrace God’s grace! This may help. I’ve got a few interviews you can find on deconstruction that may be helpful: m.ua-cam.com/video/QNF2TlD58dg/v-deo.html
So after almost 2000 years someone is going to present us with “research” on how to present the Gospel?
Oh PULEEZE.
“Sociological data”
Ya know, with all due respect (actually none) but with Christian humility- just HUSH.
Sheesh.
It’s the preaching the WORD that converts. Just QUOTE it if necessary.
It has Power. You and your silly methods do not.
AMEN !
Sean and his guest completely miss the point. They totally failed to deal with the real issue . . . many young Christians are leaving the faith because of the credibility and content of the message; it's got very little to do with the behaviour of parents, pastors, etc. Any young person with an Internet connection (i.e. all of them) can find information which presents a serious challenge to the Christian faith. It will take decades and decades, but the Internet will be the place where religion goes to die.
Although I agree with you that religion is full of nonsense, what you are saying here is not true. Most children who have a good relationship with their religious parents stay in the same faith. People have been waiting for religion to die for about 300 years now and it is still around, in many forms. Don't underestimate the social power of religion.
It's certainly true that anyone with access to the internet will be inundated with claims against Christianity. But other than the high numbers of internet sources making those claims, it's really no different than the atheist and antitheist relatives and acquaintances Christian children have always grown up with. And the surrounding society which has grown more secular and even hostile over the years. The role of larger society was actually addressed in the video.
Anyone with access to the internet can also use it to find Biblically, scientifically and historically sound answers to those questions. It can be confusing to sort through all the conflicting information and find trustworthy sources, both on and off the internet. But young people are more internet savvy now than a generation ago. And Christian laity, leaders and scholars have become far more involved in internet ministry, realizing not only the reach, but also the need for it.
@@turdferguson3400 Thanks for your reply. I agree with you that people have been waiting for religion to die for a long time. I actually don't think it ever will entirely, mainly because we are pattern seeking apes who seek for . . . "hope, meaning and purpose" . . . plus social connection, and religion provides just that for many people. Nevertheless, I do think there is a major difference when it comes to the Internet, which I think will be the most succesful thing ever for divesting a large number of people of their relgious beliefs. There will always be a core of believers, but the Internet will play a huge role in making that a very much smaller core of people.
@@tinahochstetler2189 Thanks for your reply. I agree with your point that things work both ways. Just as there is more anti-Christian (also anti-Theist) information on the web, so too there is the opportunity for Christians and Theists to put their case. Nevertheless, I think the Internet poses a challenge to one of the biggest issues in Christianity which is rarely talked about - I refer to Biblical illiteracy amongst Christians. Most Christians seem to have what could be termed a "Disney" version of their faith without any real in-depth knowledge of what the Bible actually says. The fact that - via the Internet - atheists and Christians are now having a much more high profile and very public dialogue can only mean that the very many problematic issues raised by Christianity come into sharper focus and I believe that this can only mean many more people deciding to leave the faith. Mark Twain summed it up perfectly when he said . . . "The best cure for Christianity is to read the Bible."
@@heynow1388 why are you interested in divesting people of their belief in Christianity? What about other religions?
Christianity and every other religion are in the same boat when they come to their ultimate claims. And eventually with time and evolution Christianity and every other religion will be regulated to a primitive history.
Christianity is exclusive in that it is a faith based religion and has nothing to do with Works. Jesus is the only way to eternal salvation and you will be finding that out when you kneel before him for judgment so I would suggest being less arrogant and more repentant and seeking him diligently and he will open himself up to you and you can see the truth
@@jasonbaum7432 The arrogance and delusion is yours for believing you deserve more than winning the lottery of life even if it is just a brief moment in time. Accepting reality is the opposite of arrogance!
Why are you so convinced Christianity is false?
@@PC-vg8vn The American Christian worship of Donald Trump was one convincing eye-opener. This one example clearly illustrates the ability to believe in lies while at the same time Christians deny the reality of the science of Climate Change and Vaccines. While I know you say this isn't all Christians...I agree. But I would say it is an overwhelming majority. And this harms humanity. I hate seeing my nation turned into the Taliban lite with States like Texas forcing abused women and children to give birth. These are just a few of the reasons but ulitmately there isn't one shred of evidence that proves otherwise.
@@royhiggins7270 Mr. Higgins, not all Christians believed nor supported Mr. Trump. (Often wondered myself what these folks saw about him that was so righteous !!)
Mr. Trump represents everything The Bible talks about false teachers, leaders, etc.
Christians should not promote hatred, hate language and hateful propaganda PERIOD.