I needed this navigation through anger. I’m not particularly skilled at dealing with it when it comes up. It’s sort of a new thing for me. Perhaps I’ve suppressed it all my life. Lol
♥️🙏 Yes! Anger is a secondary emotion and often a mask for something deeper. It’s so important to step away and reflect before acting out. Love your insight and thankful for your videos 🦋
21:00 Re: self-compassion is really important to me. I treated my ex really badly because underneath that was self-loathing, regret, resentment and selfishness. "I wish I could've healed that by now" really struck me. I will, unfortunately, have to do better for someone else (I hope). Thank you, Noah. I hope you're well.
Wow. That last 5 minutes about finding compassion for someone that is hurting or has hurt you by reflecting upon your own pain and sorrow. Truly powerful. Very much sends you into a moment of feeling what Jesus Christ must’ve felt for those that hurt him. Love thy neighbor as thyself. No more powerful way to feel an organic, genuine compassion for someone than to literally become them for a moment and they become you. And when you can find the way to forgive yourself for those same mistakes they’re making… and love yourself because you know why you made those same mistakes- then in every sense of it, you’re loving your neighbor as yourself, because you’ve stepped into their sin and forgive themselves vicariously- because you’ve found compassion in self forgiveness and self love. It translates in the spirit. How beautiful. And this has been a powerful revelation unto me very recently. Replace resentment and anger with compassion and feeling sorrow/sadness for the reasons that brought this person to the point where they treat another like that.
Thank you for these insights, Noah! I agree that when we are angry with others for certain behaviour it is a projection of how we would react to ourselves doing the same thing. The exercise of putting myself in their place, in the case when someone is being abusive in order to eventually find understanding and solace doesn't help me though. I've come to realize that some people are just evil and make decisions which benefit them on the expense of others and defect taking responsibility. Anyone with a narcissist in their family will understand. Trying to emphathise with their state of being doesn't really work for me.
Thank you so much for this wonderful video. My question is how to express anger thats been repressed for decades due to extreme childhood trauma? Teeth are still gritting and unconsciously stuck in fighting mode. I really need some clear direction. What confuses me is in buddhist traditions they say by acting out anger you create deeper imprints. What is the truth and best way to move forwards? Any help appreciated! Sending heartfelt love 💖🙏💖
Penny, he covers anger in this video: ua-cam.com/video/BOX5oNlhIK4/v-deo.html Althought it's about weakness and fear, he talks about how that weakness and fear stems from childhood, and how it formed as a result of repressed anger. Much of the video is about dealing with repressed childhood anger. I'm assuming the buddhist traditions are talking about acting out in anger in real life, against others. Best of luck
thank you for this video! i have been wondering about better ways to deal with my anger but haven’t wanted to look it up LOL. so it came to me :) this popped up on my notifications at the perfect time and was very helpful. i will keep these thoughts in mind
thank you so much for all your wonderful videos and help. I am taking a lot of tips and ideas from you and applying them to my life. I also subscribed to your channel awhile back.
I think it sometimes can be really important to express the anger to that person. And as you said, not in a blaming way, but in a more conscious way, but still stating firmly that "I am angry at you!". I think very often expressing anger by ourselves is not enough. Are you familiar with the concept of Radical Honesty? Expressing anger is a big practice there. And while I think it's sometimes used a bit unwisely, there is quite a magic in watching people express anger towards each other directly - without all the passive aggressive, manipulative ways we usually do it - and then through that finding forgiveness and deeper love.
Noah, I am a soon to be 18 year old man, and I am so confused about the world and my beliefs, did you experience this as well? I remember watching you in my darkest moments.
Noah, thank you 🙏🏽 What would you say to feeling it fully without getting into the mind, ...so no stories, visualizations... just feeling. I find when expressing privately, my mind jumps in, creates more angry stories and I keep going round and round, and it just gets worse and lasts not for hours, not for days but weeks.
I'm a bit confused. I'm the person with too much empathy. I guess I am unkind to myself. But through empathy and forgiveness, the anger disappears immediately. There's simply nothing left to express. So how do I express anger and also strive to let go through forgiveness? It seems that it's not that we need to allow anger, but to express a boundary.
Hmm but if someone is a control freak and treats me in a way that I have never and would never treat someone else, it doesn’t work to turn it back on myself. I never did and never would.. they’re a jerk.
I understand. For me, after I let out the anger, I become more clear as to how to come back to love. It could also be that you are angry at yourself for staying in a situation with someone who treats you unkindly.
Good video, indeed. Have a question: what if they did it on purpose and they meant to hurt your feelings badly because they’re a full-fledged narcissist, for example? Is that enough to discard them? Because it’s really hard to be forgiving in such cases and the pain lives in you... And, another question: why is so hard to love yourself when you’ve been insulted and treated unfairly? Why do I keep believing what I’ve been told about me? 💔
Folks please take this seriously. Bottling anger and frustration and biting your tongue for years and years can end in devastating consequences for you and others around you. For 40 some years I’ve always been the person that never says no, even when he wants to. The guy that will consider your feelings and comfort before his own. One to back down to keep the peace, even if you are right. When someone wrongs you, you let it go because you’re kind and forgiving. Even when it hurts you. When people bully or take advantage of you and you say it’s ok. I’ll be the better person. When you finally do try and start speak up and express your needs and boundaries because your internal world is literally toxic and poisonous to your well being… when you are just seething and the kettle is boiling… but you keep the lid on- you need to see someone about that and deal with it. Be it a pastor or a councilor or even a confidant. You cannot keep that level of frustration and indignation contained forever. You can be the nicest, most friendly and accommodating, considerate person on the planet like I have been my whole life. Then one day… you’re going to explode. It’s all going to come out at once and it will shock you to see what you’re capable of. I held it in for way too long. I thought I could do it forever. And then one day… that frustration and pure rage came out in a moment. For me it came out as what felt like a demonic possession. It was a blur and I wasn’t in control of myself. It’s like I wasn’t there. Like a blackout. I was violent and now I’m facing several years in prison. I didn’t kill or physically hurt anyone but I could have. By the grace of God I was spared from doing something truly horrific. But my trial is coming up and if I’m convicted of my charges my life is over. Career, home, money, family, reputation, my freedom- it will all go away in a slam of a gavel. So don’t ever EVER fool yourself into thinking a) you can bottle anger or intense frustration up forever and b) that you would never be capable of doing something violent or extreme if that cork were to ever pop out of the bottle. Anger, resentment, indignation, frustration, hurt- these are almost literally the ingredients of demonic manifestation within. When it fully possesses you, it will place you aside and take control of your mind and body. And when you return after the blackout rage, you will have a whole new issue trying to assimilate the person that you thought you were your whole life and what that person was capable of- and the truth. It causes a total identity crisis when you have to cope with and accept that a part of you exists that you have never known or expected. It’s like you become foreign to yourself. I think it’s a kind of splitting. The reason you never knew about all is that is because you never gave it a voice to speak when it was an infant, a baby, a child, a teen- you kept it pushed down and denied until it reaches its full form and that is one of a monster/demon. If you let it get to the point where it demands release, you’re doomed. Don’t let it get that far.
Everything you said is fine, dear Noah... But if it is something which you cannot control but you have to support such as arrogant and irrespectful neighbours and if you are sensitive to so much noise and tried everything including talking with them kindly...? And if you have to live in same house?
Thanks for ur video,Very nice approach to deal with anger, for me I will stick with it,but only 90% what about the 10% of times when multiple factor emposed on you in the same moment, giving u a cloudiness to ur judgment and behaviour, oops that is the problem. You can never predict that time.
What if you’re constantly stuck with people who treat you unkindly and disrespectfully and just unable to get them out of your life? And you know they’re not even trying to look inside of themselves they just blame, blame, blame. And take it granted for treating you like that.
Hi :) Are you familiar with the term Diamond Way Buddhism? You're energy somehow resonates like Lama Ole's, would like to see you two have a discussion :) have a great day!
I don't even feel unger anymore, when I feel it coming I look to the big picture and unger disappears, some times I miss the negative feelings, does this make any sense?
I see I am more angry than I like to admit to myself Sometimes I don't express it of fear that I'm hurting someone I feel a very dense contraction in the middle of my solar plexus while listening to you, I feel like I want to puke it out
What we all need is better role models of how to express anger appropriately. What movie... what t.v. show... what literary figure? When Jesus got angry he turned over tables...was that okay? This is a very difficult topic for me. Now I'm angry with you. 🤣
Noah Elkrief: this video is SOOO IMPORTANT nowadays!
You are truly supporting good in the world by posting these videos.
You are an angel
I needed this navigation through anger. I’m not particularly skilled at dealing with it when it comes up. It’s sort of a new thing for me. Perhaps I’ve suppressed it all my life. Lol
There is always so much wisdom in your talks. Thank you Noah.
Soul talk.. probably the one consists of almost all the elements in a talk that one needs to hear about and inside
Superb very nice
Anger is a normal emotion.
♥️🙏 Yes! Anger is a secondary emotion and often a mask for something deeper. It’s so important to step away and reflect before acting out. Love your insight and thankful for your videos 🦋
You have an amazing presence, thanks
Alex Boulos agree!!!
Yes, so true. Anger is useful - it helps us to know when a boundary has been crossed and say "hell no!"
21:00 Re: self-compassion is really important to me. I treated my ex really badly because underneath that was self-loathing, regret, resentment and selfishness. "I wish I could've healed that by now" really struck me. I will, unfortunately, have to do better for someone else (I hope).
Thank you, Noah. I hope you're well.
wisdom and calmness in your voice thanks, love you
You're changing lives brother
People freak out if you get angry, they think something is wrong with you like you're not allowed to express yourself.
Wow. That last 5 minutes about finding compassion for someone that is hurting or has hurt you by reflecting upon your own pain and sorrow. Truly powerful. Very much sends you into a moment of feeling what Jesus Christ must’ve felt for those that hurt him.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
No more powerful way to feel an organic, genuine compassion for someone than to literally become them for a moment and they become you. And when you can find the way to forgive yourself for those same mistakes they’re making… and love yourself because you know why you made those same mistakes- then in every sense of it, you’re loving your neighbor as yourself, because you’ve stepped into their sin and forgive themselves vicariously- because you’ve found compassion in self forgiveness and self love. It translates in the spirit. How beautiful.
And this has been a powerful revelation unto me very recently. Replace resentment and anger with compassion and feeling sorrow/sadness for the reasons that brought this person to the point where they treat another like that.
Helpful information
The timing of this video could not have been better. Thank you so much, I really needed this! ✌❤
You're so welcome!
Thank you for these insights, Noah!
I agree that when we are angry with others for certain behaviour it is a projection of how we would react to ourselves doing the same thing. The exercise of putting myself in their place, in the case when someone is being abusive in order to eventually find understanding and solace doesn't help me though. I've come to realize that some people are just evil and make decisions which benefit them on the expense of others and defect taking responsibility. Anyone with a narcissist in their family will understand. Trying to emphathise with their state of being doesn't really work for me.
Thank you Noah. Your video's helped me a lot!
Noah..this video... no words. Thank you so much for sharing what's inside of you and being a conduit for truth 💙
Thank you so much for this wonderful video. My question is how to express anger thats been repressed for decades due to extreme childhood trauma? Teeth are still gritting and unconsciously stuck in fighting mode. I really need some clear direction. What confuses me is in buddhist traditions they say by acting out anger you create deeper imprints. What is the truth and best way to move forwards? Any help appreciated! Sending heartfelt love 💖🙏💖
Penny, he covers anger in this video: ua-cam.com/video/BOX5oNlhIK4/v-deo.html
Althought it's about weakness and fear, he talks about how that weakness and fear stems from childhood, and how it formed as a result of repressed anger. Much of the video is about dealing with repressed childhood anger. I'm assuming the buddhist traditions are talking about acting out in anger in real life, against others. Best of luck
Love your content! I’m glad you’re back!
I just shared the two videos on anger, with my daughter and her boyfriend. Thanks Noah for helping me be a better parent 😉👍🏽
Love you brother it's really important for people to treat their anger . Thank you really I mean that
You're welcome Rajan
Useful and resolved a lot of anger in me.Thanks Noah
Thank you for this video. It really helps
Very nice superb
Noah, I hope you have a nice day today. Mine is lightened because you exist.
I like this vid.. Just be mindful of the anger and it will pass..
That is helpful. Thank you.
thank you for this video! i have been wondering about better ways to deal with my anger but haven’t wanted to look it up LOL. so it came to me :) this popped up on my
notifications at the perfect time and was very helpful. i will keep these thoughts in mind
thank you so much for all your wonderful videos and help. I am taking a lot of tips and ideas from you and applying them to my life. I also subscribed to your channel awhile back.
Thank you 🙏
I think it sometimes can be really important to express the anger to that person. And as you said, not in a blaming way, but in a more conscious way, but still stating firmly that "I am angry at you!". I think very often expressing anger by ourselves is not enough. Are you familiar with the concept of Radical Honesty? Expressing anger is a big practice there. And while I think it's sometimes used a bit unwisely, there is quite a magic in watching people express anger towards each other directly - without all the passive aggressive, manipulative ways we usually do it - and then through that finding forgiveness and deeper love.
Noah, I am a soon to be 18 year old man, and I am so confused about the world and my beliefs, did you experience this as well? I remember watching you in my darkest moments.
That's normal. Be gentle and patient with that. It's a journey.
Love your work.
Thank you!
Thanks. 😊
Noah, thank you 🙏🏽 What would you say to feeling it fully without getting into the mind, ...so no stories, visualizations... just feeling. I find when expressing privately, my mind jumps in, creates more angry stories and I keep going round and round, and it just gets worse and lasts not for hours, not for days but weeks.
Love your videos! Thank you so much your wonderful!
Thank you😘
Hi Noah. Would love to hear your thoughts about how to help an anxious child who manifests anxiety with anger and insecurity. Thank you
I'm a bit confused. I'm the person with too much empathy. I guess I am unkind to myself. But through empathy and forgiveness, the anger disappears immediately. There's simply nothing left to express. So how do I express anger and also strive to let go through forgiveness? It seems that it's not that we need to allow anger, but to express a boundary.
Hmm but if someone is a control freak and treats me in a way that I have never and would never treat someone else, it doesn’t work to turn it back on myself. I never did and never would.. they’re a jerk.
I understand. For me, after I let out the anger, I become more clear as to how to come back to love. It could also be that you are angry at yourself for staying in a situation with someone who treats you unkindly.
woahhhh, big resonance with this topic
Good video, indeed. Have a question: what if they did it on purpose and they meant to hurt your feelings badly because they’re a full-fledged narcissist, for example? Is that enough to discard them? Because it’s really hard to be forgiving in such cases and the pain lives in you... And, another question: why is so hard to love yourself when you’ve been insulted and treated unfairly? Why do I keep believing what I’ve been told about me? 💔
On this same topic of Anger, is there a different way to deal with others that are Mentally Challenged or that have a Brain Health Issue?
I am scared of showing my anger to people out of reputation purpose . I become so ugly.
I hear you
Folks please take this seriously. Bottling anger and frustration and biting your tongue for years and years can end in devastating consequences for you and others around you.
For 40 some years I’ve always been the person that never says no, even when he wants to. The guy that will consider your feelings and comfort before his own. One to back down to keep the peace, even if you are right.
When someone wrongs you, you let it go because you’re kind and forgiving. Even when it hurts you. When people bully or take advantage of you and you say it’s ok. I’ll be the better person.
When you finally do try and start speak up and express your needs and boundaries because your internal world is literally toxic and poisonous to your well being… when you are just seething and the kettle is boiling… but you keep the lid on- you need to see someone about that and deal with it. Be it a pastor or a councilor or even a confidant. You cannot keep that level of frustration and indignation contained forever. You can be the nicest, most friendly and accommodating, considerate person on the planet like I have been my whole life.
Then one day… you’re going to explode. It’s all going to come out at once and it will shock you to see what you’re capable of.
I held it in for way too long. I thought I could do it forever. And then one day… that frustration and pure rage came out in a moment.
For me it came out as what felt like a demonic possession. It was a blur and I wasn’t in control of myself. It’s like I wasn’t there. Like a blackout. I was violent and now I’m facing several years in prison. I didn’t kill or physically hurt anyone but I could have. By the grace of God I was spared from doing something truly horrific. But my trial is coming up and if I’m convicted of my charges my life is over. Career, home, money, family, reputation, my freedom- it will all go away in a slam of a gavel.
So don’t ever EVER fool yourself into thinking a) you can bottle anger or intense frustration up forever and b) that you would never be capable of doing something violent or extreme if that cork were to ever pop out of the bottle.
Anger, resentment, indignation, frustration, hurt- these are almost literally the ingredients of demonic manifestation within. When it fully possesses you, it will place you aside and take control of your mind and body. And when you return after the blackout rage, you will have a whole new issue trying to assimilate the person that you thought you were your whole life and what that person was capable of- and the truth. It causes a total identity crisis when you have to cope with and accept that a part of you exists that you have never known or expected. It’s like you become foreign to yourself. I think it’s a kind of splitting.
The reason you never knew about all is that is because you never gave it a voice to speak when it was an infant, a baby, a child, a teen- you kept it pushed down and denied until it reaches its full form and that is one of a monster/demon. If you let it get to the point where it demands release, you’re doomed. Don’t let it get that far.
Amazing 👏 I needed this. Do you do private sessions?
Yes, you can learn more here: noahelkrief.com/sessions
Everything you said is fine, dear Noah... But if it is something which you cannot control but you have to support such as arrogant and irrespectful neighbours and if you are sensitive to so much noise and tried everything including talking with them kindly...? And if you have to live in same house?
Thanks for ur video,Very nice approach to deal with anger, for me I will stick with it,but only 90% what about the 10% of times when multiple factor emposed on you in the same moment, giving u a cloudiness to ur judgment and behaviour, oops that is the problem. You can never predict that time.
What if you’re constantly stuck with people who treat you unkindly and disrespectfully and just unable to get them out of your life?
And you know they’re not even trying to look inside of themselves they just blame, blame, blame. And take it granted for treating you like that.
Hi :) Are you familiar with the term Diamond Way Buddhism? You're energy somehow resonates like Lama Ole's, would like to see you two have a discussion :) have a great day!
How about anger towards yourself, for the things you've done to yourself (as in drug abuse and such). How to deal with that?
Try my videos about how to forgive yourself and how to have compassion for yourself. Also how to stop procrastinating talks about it in some way
I've seen them, but the anger as a feeling is so intense it consumes me in seconds. Maybe I just need to try and separate from it somehow. Thanks.
I don't even feel unger anymore, when I feel it coming I look to the big picture and unger disappears, some times I miss the negative feelings, does this make any sense?
Yes, it makes sense. Just check-in with yourself sometimes to see if there is another part of you that is still angry.
I see I am more angry than I like to admit to myself
Sometimes I don't express it of fear that I'm hurting someone
I feel a very dense contraction in the middle of my solar plexus while listening to you, I feel like I want to puke it out
What we all need is better role models of how to express anger appropriately. What movie... what t.v. show... what literary figure? When Jesus got angry he turned over tables...was that okay? This is a very difficult topic for me. Now I'm angry with you. 🤣
Marry me?
women must be throwing themselves at you at an alarming rate