he will never wake up again
Вставка
- Опубліковано 4 лип 2024
- This playlist is dedicated to my childhood friend who passed away some days ago.
Spotify: open.spotify.com/user/worldha...
PATREON SUPPORTERS:
David Chow
Princess Twiche
Bound
Milan Dojić
Ali Ahsan
Oscar Cumps Ruelle
Tyler Simpson
Mike Bodulow
Tracklist:
1. Lilium - sleeping inside 00:00
open.spotify.com/track/6hbbXq...
2. Sangre de Muerdago - Saudades 3:26
sangredemuerdago.bandcamp.com...
3. Novemthree - Soil Binds Breath and Bone 7:35
novemthree.bandcamp.com/track...
4. Mono - Dream Odyssey 14:48
monoofjapan.bandcamp.com/trac...
5. kristeva - Set Light 22:57
kristevaband.bandcamp.com/tra...
6. Grace Cathedral Park - It's All Well Above Wonder Anyway 26:45
open.spotify.com/track/4AhSvS...
To support me: bit.ly/whprpatreon
WHPR on Spotify: spoti.fi/2JuD7Vx
WHPR on Instagram: bit.ly/whprig
WHPR on Facebook: bit.ly/whprfb
WHPR on Twitter: bit.ly/whprt
To submit your music: submitwhpr@gmail.com
For removal of copyrighted music: submitwhpr@gmail.com
This playlist is dedicated to my childhood friend who passed away some days ago.
Spotify: open.spotify.com/user/worldha...
I've created this playlist thanks to the support of Worldhaspostrock's Patreon members. If you want to be one of the members, visit: bit.ly/whprpatreon
PATREON SUPPORTERS:
David Chow
Princess Twiche
Bound
Milan Dojić
Ali Ahsan
Oscar Cumps Ruelle
Tyler Simpson
Mike Bodulow
Tracklist:
1. Lilium - sleeping inside 00:00
open.spotify.com/track/6hbbXq...
2. Sangre de Muerdago - Saudades 3:26
sangredemuerdago.bandcamp.com...
3. Novemthree - Soil Binds Breath and Bone 7:35
novemthree.bandcamp.com/track...
4. Mono - Dream Odyssey 14:48
monoofjapan.bandcamp.com/trac...
5. kristeva - Set Light 22:57
kristevaband.bandcamp.com/tra...
6. Grace Cathedral Park - It's All Well Above Wonder Anyway 26:45
open.spotify.com/track/4AhSvS...
To support me: bit.ly/whprpatreon
WHPR on Spotify: spoti.fi/2JuD7Vx
WHPR on Instagram: bit.ly/whprig
WHPR on Facebook: bit.ly/whprfb
WHPR on Twitter: bit.ly/whprt
To submit your music: submitwhpr@gmail.com
For removal of copyrighted music: submitwhpr@gmail.com
So sorry for your loss. This playlist is an amazing and beautiful way to commemorate him.
Stay strong!
You were a great friend you have chosen beautiful sounds for your lifelong friend
May they rest in peace.
So sorry for your loss. He returned back home, and you will find him in your favourite songs.
Every person sees the world in a unique way. When someone dies it is, in a way, the death of an entire world.
Can't emphasise enough on how powerful this is!!
Universe does start with U N I (You and I)
has the sheep eaten the flower (the little prince)
The structure of the human brain is very similar to the structure of the universe.
Whenever someone dies, a whole universe is lost to the darkness.
I have learnt a lot of glioblastoma this week. Universe is a bit different to it
My father was an over seas worker. He was rarely around my birthday (which I hated as a kid). But he never forgets to leave me a message saying "Happy Birthday, son! Hope one day I can make it up to you".
Come 2016, he passed away. It was sudden. Somehow, my family recovered and moved on, I never really did. Until now, I still desperately wait for his message. My birthday is in 4 days, and I am foolish enough to believe that one day he'll make it up to me. Im still hoping I'll get my birthday message from dad
I'm sorry for your loss
I pray for you, that one day, it wouldn't hurt so much, and you find your peace.
I losed my father four years ago. I can't know what did you exactly experienced, but I know this is hard. Hard to stay strong, hard to accept and heal, hard to deal with all this pain and anger... Sometimes life gets even worse. I hope you are doing good, my friend. Sorry for your loss.
I know I'm late but... Happy birthday, man.
Yooo. Thank you all for the love amd support. Hope ya'll find peace and calmness in your hearts
@@edgarjaysongejon647 happy late birthday
"he will never wake up again"
"I wonder if he's dreaming of us"
You just made me think about who I dream about. If it's not about my friends or family but some imaginary person I've never met, does that make me a romantic or does it mean I don't love the people in my life as much as I should?
What if they never wake up again?
10Hangman holy fuck now you got me thinking
Yes, he's. He brought us together. He gave us this moment.
Fuck you you made me cry
@@10Hangman Tristoff's comment paired with yours has got me in a sullen mood, and deep in thought. Damn man, just wow.
I lost my boyfriend to suicide a few weeks ago. I think I'll miss him forever. He gave me the most precious memories I'll hold onto until the day I die.
I hope he's in a better place now.
Fly high.
1997-2020.
I am sorry for your loss
He is asleep now, he is dreaming
He is dreaming of the things he loved, of you certainly
I am so sorry for your loss. My sister lost her uncle to suicide about 2 months ago and I hated seeing her in the state she was in
Nothing can change the past, nothing can ever take away the moments of love and connection you shared with him. You two will always be together there, immutably.
It's so strange to feel the loss of someone that never passed away physically but mentally
What does this even mean
Not many understand the kind of grief that comes along with this
@@austinmoon2900 Dead man walking
@@austinmoon2900 Any number of things. They could've lost their mind to drugs, alcoholism, mental disease, or trauma.
And it’s even worse when you watch yourself or a friend in the process
"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."
Bill Konstantakos I love that movie.
But the love dies when people die? Thats a retarded quote.
@@blacklotus561 love doesn't die when people die
What movie is that from?
@@mazzy_vc It's from The Crow.
My son committed suicide 17 days away from his 19th birthday.
I am beyond broken.
My heart, it aches for him.
🖤🖤🖤
It hits differently for me knowing that someone my age decided to commit suicide. I can only imagine what he was going through and why he did it. But I'm truly sorry for your loss. I know this will be a scar you will have to bear forever.
I am sorry for yout loss. I hope you achieve your goals and continu your life even without your son. Take care of yourself.
Don't worry. And don't be sad. RIP and I hope he's having calm and cool in the afterlife. No pain.
I am your son too. You can always talk to me like you did to your son. Life is tough. So is of me. But I'm carrying on, Mother/Father
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve read a lot of people’s comments about their losses but yours is just harshest of all. The parent should never outlive their child and it’s a horrible experience when a mother/father loses their child at such a young age. It will fill you with depression and make you question your own existence. I hope you have other children to spend time with and that you heal together. May he rest peacefully
He's is at peace.
No pain is quite like the pain you feel when you think you didn't love them enough.
She told me I wasn’t enough, even tho I’d never given so much to anyone before, I don’t even think I got a paycheck, money to me was just “a memory I could make with her” but she wanted more men in her life, more money, she wanted more attention, I should’ve loved her more, I should’ve been better, she was fine until I couldn’t love her as much as she needed…
God 😢
@V. Abel 👏👏👏👏👏
@@gatertod2018 I just experienced the same. Try to remind yourself, same as I do: we tried our best, but clearly our best is meant for someone else.
No. There is a greater pain:not loving anyone ever and realising it after hitting 23 years old
I am sorry for your loss. I hope your friend is in a better place now..
Same to you. I hope you and your friend is in a better place.
I hope that place is not exists
There is no better place than earth where you live your one and only life.
@@maxbgn452 exactly. Idu why they talk about "better place" when we all have only the earth. We don't fly away or have magical energy after death 😅... it wourld be very strange.
May our body stays longer, so we theoretical exist for longer time then only 30 or 90 years. But.. yeah
(Sorry for my bad english)
@@spacelore1210 yeah don't let them think eternity exist it's better to unallow religion.
My older brother dies the 9th, 10 years ago, I miss him so much
I made this youtube account 10 years ago the 8th
@Luegar Reynolds oh I guess your right
Sorry for your loss 😢
I'm so sorry for your loss
:(
I have been crying for an hour and I haven’t even lost someone. It just pains me so much knowing there’s so many people out there experiencing so much pain they feel the need to take their life away, and I feel there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’m sorry to all the people who have lost a loved one. My heart goes out to you.
youre so pure
Thank you man, my girlfriend died from cancer so I needed this, you're a good guy.
This is such a sweet comment. Not many people feel so much empathy without ever actually having experienced the pain of loss and grief.
You took the words right out of me🤍
@Air Wrecker ahh I have that empaty level too and it just kills my mind and heart I get so damaged sometimes because of this..
Crazy how life shows that you don’t need to die to be a ghost
That's so true
Some things are hopefully hidden from us for as long as they possibly can be…
As a child I killed who I was because I thought that it was unacceptable. I often mourn the loss of who I could have been.
“Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72”
Mark Twain
My cat got hit by a car 2 days ago. I thought he was going to be all right, as he seemed mostly bruised. About an hour before he passed away, UA-cam recommended me this. We spent his final moments together, because the thought had been planted, although I had hoped it's just a dumb coincidence and he would get well. I loved that cat to bits :'(
Well played UA-cam, well played.
So sorry to hear your lost, I hope you can recover as soon as possible and you can remember your cat with beautiful memories, not the bad ones.
@@worldhaspostrock
I know its been a while for you but I was scrolling through the comments, trying to cope with the fact that my cat was hit by a car last night, we just found him today. I miss him.
My dearest cat suddenly passed away 25 days ago. I still try to make it through, even though I can't help myself from crying and missing him. It's such a dark tunnel I don't know how to find the way out.
I found "You are a memory" by Message to Bears, then this playlist, and then your comment.
Thank you!
Get a new cat.
it’s knowing you’ll never see them again, hear them laugh again.
When you're in your room thinking of all the Now, dead memories.... that's when you know you'll never hear from them again.... at least until we die
Worst part, forgetting the sound of her voice.
I hate endings
this broke me :(
crying while listening to this, it's the most painful truth of all.. I hope whatever experiences we go through will only make us stronger and more appreciative rather than break us.
we deserve love, happiness and closure
I really miss everyone though.
Still haven't gotten over suddenly losing contact with a friend of mine.
My dad hasn't been there for some points in my life, always working or in jail, he had left when he heard my mother had gotten locked up for drug usage.
Nonetheless I still had received a card for my birthday every year he was gone that usually had written in it "Happy birthday, mi vito".
Until this year, on May 2nd, around 11:50 pm, I had heard he was shot and was being rushed to the hospital, I was told he was going to make it, but I knew he wasn't.
Now like most guys I dont cry often, at all actually, not even hearing the news that he had passed. I just stood there, wondering how I should have reacted. It wasn't until we had gotten to the funeral home, where I saw him laying in his casket, it looked like he was gonna jump back up and scare me, tell me how it was all a joke to get me to go visit him.
I wish that was the outcome. My grandparents had some letters that never reached me while he was in prison. One of the letters was titled "I miss you, mi vito" and all of a sudden my world was shook, everything that I had built up just came crashing down, and it fell right on me. I tried to stop myself from letting the tears come out, but to no avail, I cried, not for long, but it felt like I had let out all the crying I've held in for years.
I had always thought "mi Vito" was just a little saying he called me. Like how he had one for my little sister. A day after the funeral I search up what it meant. It was Latin for "my life".
This has been the one year I haven't gotten one of those letters, and I didn't know how much I would miss them. How much I miss him.
I’m sure he loved you with all of his heart even if you didn’t go see him much, sorry for your loss, if you ever wanted to talk i would be there.🖤
I really meant it, i can give you my ig or snapchat if you want to
I believe that we all need someone whom we don’t know or even saw just to actually tell them all that we cannot say even to family and papers.
Ahh, fuck man, this one got me.
Hoping for your best recovery.
I just want to hug every single person in this comment section including the channel owner. Losing someone is extremely painful so stay strong everybody. We'll meet our loved ones again. may your friend's soul rest in peace and may the loved ones of everyone in these comments who passed away rest in peace.
Thank you so much for your words ❤
.
Whenever I go to funerals I always look at the person in the coffin expecting them to breathe, or open their eyes, but they never do.
And it always makes it harder, when they don't sit up.
Just thinking about 1 last hug, and remembering who they were
The very real fact that all of us without exception will be in that same position is terrifying. One day, we won't breathe anymore, open our eyes, sit up or speak ever, ever again. Why don't we run around terrified?
@@SamuelBlack84 Because being obsessed with the inevitable end is a sure way to miss the beautiful journey there.
@@dat_boii My journey is fixed on the most terrible path so death can't come swiftly enough
Bones weight more when you miss someone everyday...
Every single day.
She didn't die. She's alive. Well. She's somewhere in this world and I know she's well. But she left.
I've lost too many people due to death. But she hurt me the most. Knowing that someone is alive and well but doesn't wanna see you, that's another whole thing.
Мне всегда не ладилось с людьми, потому наверное у меня и нет друзей. Были люди и они...любили меня? Мой хороший друг, он всегда был на моей стороне и стоял стеной, даже тогда когда я был груб с ним.
Девочки которые не смотря на мою бессполезность видили во мне что-то большое.
Я уверен у них все хорошо, они любят и их любят тоже.
Я не нужен им, они далеко.
я знаю все у них хорошо, но я больше не смогу быть с ними. Я буду скучать по тем временам когда мы гуляли по улицам и занимались херней....
@@sir_nail7734 Your comment reminds me of a really good friend I have that needed to move far away a few years ago… For a second I really thought it was him
That hit harder than daddys belt
Sorry but for real, too close to home :'c
I feel you man. This month has hurt a lot. Girlfriend left, then my childhood friend's battle with cancer ended. We have to stay strong though, this is not the end.
I lost someone who was the closest to me for 3 last years, earlier I lost someone too and earlier too and it's so hard, I have mental health issues and I hurt them by saying that they will leave me and other bad stuff and then they really do, I don't want it, I'm just so scared and then it happens 😭 I want to be alone now only. I wish you all the best, you'll be ok, I know, you'll be all right, all good people ❤❤❤
I lost a friend 3 months before you guys post this playlist. He passed away, bleeding alone, murdered in the dark of night. I can't thank you enough for this mix. Everytime I listen to it, it makes me remember, memories hit me back, choke me with tears that i always dim. It helps me unload the burden, or just a little bit of it.
RIP Adhem. You lie in a better place now.
a friend of mine died in september. she was hit by a drunk driver. didn't stand a chance. I'm still barely coping. thank you for this playlist; it reminds me of the fact that music is here for me, when I need it most. stay strong, I will try and do the same:) my thoughts are with you
I am so sorry, losing anyone you care about is difficult beyond words. I'm wishing you the best and proud of your hard work to cope.
Are you doing better now? I hope you are. It would give a little hope to the rest of us.
my heart is warmed by these responses! I am in a much better place now. ... it took some tough decisions. my family and friends were there for me. I think loss somehow has the power to bring people together... and I hung on to that. I owe my recovery to my friends and family. music still helps me deal with the loss and the events that ensued. I think I have given most of the emotions a place now. thank you for caring... I can't express how much it means to me, to see strangers this kindly be united by music and empathy... thank you all
@@raoulselten9480 hey dude, I came across your comment, and I'm glad that you came to write back. I hope things are getting better, and that you're doing good during these hectic times! Stay safe and strong🙏
Lost my husband also in September.
2 month ago i lost the only one closet person i had - my mother.
It was too painful.
I was broken into a million small pieces. It was very hard for me to accept my feelings. I closed myself from everyone.
The pain in my heart intensified day by day. I was like
Balloon which could popped in any minute.
Then I found your playlist. This tracks, story of this playlist - its so sad, It touched me very much.
I feel better, because I realized that i am not the only one experiencing something like this, but at the same time it hurts.
During a week I listen to your playlist when I get sad. it really helps me to open my heart and accept my feelings, even if little by little.
Just know you saved one guy from a deep depression.
Thank you
Im so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry that happened man, I hope you live a great rest of your life
In the same boat😢
sometimes, I just feel like running far away, where no one knows me where there's not a soul to care for me. i feel like leaving everything and everyone behind and going somewhere no one cares about me, somewhere I can disappear, be forgotten, and die alone without anyone hurting about it. i really don't wanna live, but the last thing I want is to hurt the people who care for me. I don't know why I'm doing anything, I don't know why I'm saying any of this, it'll probably just disappear somewhere in the comments and nobody is gonna find it.
I used to feel the same way , hope things get better for you love.
:') 🖤
this is the saddest thing... a stranger opens up about his/hers personal feelings and a different stranger finds how he/she was feeling through the entire life time.... i hope you will find some love, interest, flower... whatever that makes you happy. I wish you will find it as soon as possible :') and remember there is no other people will be the same as you. You are unique in your own way.
update: it's been 3 months guys. ive been able to focus on myself a lot more. I've been able to come to terms with myself, and things that have happened to me. i have sought reconciliation. I finally feel like I matter, and I'm worth something, to myself.
I've started doing well in school and kind of been on good terms with the people around me. things have gotten better. I've finally worked things out with my best friend whom I've loved for 3 years, I'm happily in love, and maybe I'll tell her I'm in love with her someday, though we both know it's kind of obvious. I'm just scared if it's going to weigh on her.
the thing is, where I was when I wrote this comment, I know I'll fall back into that place someday again. maybe it won't be this bad, maybe it'll be worse, I can't say for now. but now I know that if I'll fall into it, I'll fall out too.
and idk if anyone is, but if you're reading this and you're in a troubling space right now, i just want to tell you, it's alright. it will get better. I'm sorry you feel this way, and i really hope life is kind to you, perhaps you deserve it.
@@tanmaybe6395 Uwu ಥ‿ಥ thank u and I hope you can tell her
He loved that hat, it was a crooks & castle’s hat and for some reason He always wanted to sleep on the couch didn’t know why, I would walk out of my room and see him right there either sleeping there or just sitting there. I saw him every day, then he was in the hospital for a few days he seemed just fine. I thought he would be fine.
Then I got a call. With a voice I could only describe as hart broke my sister said “Grandpa died”, all I did was hang up the phone. I had no words. He was gone, I couldn’t believe it he lived for 93 years and know he’s dead. How, how could he die he was supposed to live forever with me.we were going to live forever.
I live in a small town so word get around fast. I went to school. It was the same teacher, the same students, same class. Yet everything felt different. I walked down the hallway everyone was looking at me with sorrow, but I didn’t care. I tried to do work but I just stared at the paper. I went home expecting that nice, welcoming, and caring “Hello” but there was nothing.
I touched his hand it was cold. When I saw him get buried, that’s when I knew I will never see him again, I will never hear is voice again, I will never talk to him again, and I will fell the warmth of his hand again. He lives on only in my memory’s now.
I don’t normally were hats. But I decided that I were his and it fit, nothing changed I still got the gazes of sorrow still couldn’t do my work, nothing changed. Don’t know why I thought it would be different, nothing is the same without him here.
2 years ago my grandpa died, and to this day I were his hat, I remember him. But I’m still to scared to see his grave I don’t think I can handle it, I might visit him for Christmas not sure yet. I will try my best so people can remember him, he was the best man I’ve ever known. The name Joseph Montgrand will never be forgotten not will I’m still alive. He will live forever with me, for as long I remember him. He will live on as the greatest man this town has ever seen. I could only try and be half the man he was but I don’t mind. He’s here he will always be here, he will live forever within my memories and in his hat. He always loved that hat.
i hug you bro. Losing childhood friends is losing a part of yourself.
😭
There was a guy on the street which I saw him almost everyday on my way to college.A week ago I was arriving home with my friend and I saw a crowd at the our street.I asked my sister,what's going on?.She said a 25 years old boy drowned at the sea.I didn't really feel much sadness at that time.Because I didn't know who was the dead one.Only later at night mom showed me his photo and I was like shock.He was the guy which I saw him everyday.I didn't know his name, we never really talked.But somehow we both knew each other, and now his death leave me with pain, a pain that I cannot describe.These songs reminds me him, because he will never wake up again
My dad passed away yesterday after complications with his heart. Total organ failure, it was gruesome and he didn’t spend his last moments peacefully. This playlist brings me comfort during these times. I hope this finds all of you well. The last thing I said to him was “I love you” as I was heading out of the door, please tell your loved ones you love them as many times as you can.
❤️
I hope you're some little better, Fellow, and Your Dad in the Eternal Peace. You said something real meaningful, Everybody should Say "I LOVE YOU" to their parents and Family Everyday. Greetings from Tucumán, Argentina.
Sorry for your loss
I pray for you. May god bless you
Oh gods- I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're feeling better now and that he's dreaming of you. I have an orange in my throat and it hurts. Your last words to him are the most meaningful thing you could've ever said.
I need to make a change. Right now. Things are coming to a head.
I’ve never had anyone. I’ve never spoken to my parents. Siblings. Teachers. Real friends I’ve never had. I’m 19 now. I’m at university. And I’ve met a girl. She’s off the table, romance wise, but she seems to want to be around me. She can look past my inability to understand anything not said aloud. She’s honest and kind and smart and achingly beautiful. I’m struggling to deal with it. Because now I have something. I feel like I’ve been sat on a cool rooftop at night, watching the stars glimmer and looking around at all these people laughing and loving and existing without thinking about it. Now I’ve got something to lose, and something to gain. I’ve been so afraid. More stressed than I’ve ever been. Everything I say to her is a risk. But nothing awful seems to have happened yet.
What is one to do when another becomes their world, and you’ve no idea at all what you mean to that person? How does everyone just sink into relationships? It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Almost as though another human is there alongside me on my rooftop, breathing as I breathe. Her warmth is there with me. And I don’t want to lose it.
I’m so afraid.
Hello there, my fellow human! =)
I heard you heartfelt call, and i want to share some wisdom based on my experience with you.
You have two options.
1) You see yourself dwindle in your love for that person, you see yourself dissappering into the cold nothingness. Laying there in the cold winter snow, in a dark forest inhabited by hungry wolves. You will hate yourself for becoming something, that is not you. But what you are doing now, is exactly that. Don't lose yourself, only because of a possibility of something beautiful happening. Remember yourself.
AND THAT IS, why YOU have to ACT!
That is option 2)...
You will not accept your own death, you won't be eaten by the hungry wolf from the inside. You will forget fear, as for such it doesn't exist. Fear is the imaginary animal, which will persecute you into the snowy lonely forest, if you let it. The concept of risk is also only your imagination. You have to stop thinking, that failing is bad. I know you don't want to fail, don't want to do the wrong thing, but life isn't over once you fail once. Or twice... Or many more times. Start slowly, and embrace your fear. Don't let it govern your time with her.
Think about it.. Do you want to enjoy the time with her, or do you want to be constantly afraid of making a mistake... do you want to feel fear, or to fell bliss, love and happiness? Ask yourself. Try to have a clear mind when doing things, don't let fear blur your vision.
Walk your own way, and find yourself in the blissful garden.. don't let fear push you into the bitter-cold forest. This is what it means to be human. You try not to hide in a shell, you bare you chest to all the pains, emotions and situations, you live and enjoy it.
This was a message, which I wrote for you, but also for myself.
Know that I, your fellow human, wrote it to you!
Timur Getslev Oh, I forgot to mention to worst part.
She’s already in a happy relationship.
@@proximacentauri2684 Well then, it's a lost game :)
If it's a truly happy relationship, don't try to come inbetween them. Move on.
Timur Getslev Yeah I never intended to. Still hurts though. I honestly don’t even know what attraction is anyway. Maybe I’m just super hyped over her because she’s the only actual friend I’ve ever had 😂 thanks for the kind words.
Michael Beever go to its one of those nights. You’ll find a discord server. Join it. Trust me
Lost my cousin who was my best friend nearly 18 years ago, we were more like brothers. It was so messed up, the sadness never left, its still right there. Over the years I lost a couple more of my close friends suddenly. And my brother to diabetes. 9 years ago I lost my wife. I try to cry but its just dust. You'd never know if you knew me, that something so dark and deep swallowed the old me up. I just reinvent someone every day, pieces put together of the old me left behind. I don't see myself in mirrors or old pictures, just some person. I don't even remember who I was anymore. So sad..so much sadness. Best to blind it with the beauty of music. Or try to. Or write, or draw, or paint, there has to be something..
There is always something, always.
you're such a great person for handling all this , they're in a better place my friend , stay strong for them
Sounds like you and me should sit down, drink something and watch the sun go down. Hope you get an answer to hope back.
oh my god thats like everyone
I am unnervingly able to relate in such a way it seems eerily destined to find my soul that is had it not been through algorithmic worm holes connecting space time future influences past only could I know no thing yet feel its necessities inherent lie dormant in fully activated truth theirs for me to grasp my end too slip tightly unto grip of them and us sentience awe cache ectly reverberating silently forever till the end both beg in and mercy and et al
Recently lost my dad to cancer, this playlist really hits home.
Sprout sorry for your loss
sorry to hear :( hope nothing but the best for you in days to come
lost someone who was like a father figure to cancer 7 months ago, seems like everyone’s moved on but me. hope you’re doing okay x
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you can take as much time as you need to heal. Try and be soft on yourself, and give yourself space to grieve.
Take care :)
We will spend the rest of our lives thinking about what comes after, but when the day comes, we only think about what we’re leaving behind.
I'm just so glad everyone is expressing their sadness across the comments. No toxicity, no judging, just heart filled words and grieving people. I recently lost my grandfather due to his age, but that didn't stop us from forgetting him. We never will forget his sacrifices, his love, and his past. Miss you pop, I haven't forgotten you.
Directly above this video, before I noticed this video, was another video about a brain related injury, which is what my little brother died of. I paid no attention to it but then the video directly after that one as I was scrolling down was this one.
Either the UA-cam is getting smarter or I’m looking too much into it. I usually don’t mention these things publicly either...
If you’ve lost someone dear and near, you’re not alone. While the pain never really goes away, it does get easier to cope with. The real challenge is not necessarily not letting it cripple you or moving forward, no, the true challenge is not letting it make it so that you start abandoning and ignoring those are are still here with you. Take it from someone who even after seven years is still finding ways to cope.
google is listening haha
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts!
❤️
Thank you for sharing, even though I lost my father and best friend 14 years ago, I still think about him daily, your last paragraph is very truthfully, I will never forget him, but I will try to live as he would like me to and be a good person to those arround me.
I lost my little brother too and this popped up so.... yeah something’s up
It's the anniversary of my brother's suicide this week and this mix is so exactly what I needed. Thank you, and know that days will get bright again. Love, always
This playlist helped me come to terms with my grandpa slowly dying.
Over the span of 3 months, my 86 (turned 87) year old grandpa regressed from a fairly independent man who had daily walks around the neighborhood and generally took care of himself, to completely bedridden and requiring dialysis 2 times a week and 24/7 bedside care.
Sometime early during the first month, I came across this playlist. I listened to it while studying or gaming as a more interesting alternative to my usual chill music like lofi or jazz. A couple weeks later my grandpa’s doctor visited to let our family know that the reason he was getting weaker was because a tumor in his stomach that they hadn’t noticed until now. Though we finally found the culprit for many of his health problems in the last couple years, it was already too late to do anything about it. The doctor let us know he realistically had 6 months left max.
As his sickness got worse and worse, I found myself listening to this playlist more and more. Obviously the music is great on its own, but in combination with the title and art, I felt that my experience listening to this compilation greatly parallels my recent experience with my grandpa.
You see, as my grandpa’s condition declined, the help he needed increased. To the point where our extended family, including myself had to take 24/7 rotating “shifts” watching and caring for him at our house. Though we all loved him very much, there was little we could do to spare him from whatever he was suffering from, physically or mentally. Every attempt to breathe seemed like an uphill battle. He even began to hallucinate at night, confusing his various dreams with reality.
By the second month, he needed oxygen tanks to help him breathe more often than not. His hallucinations extended into every hour of the day, growing vivid still. In his native language, he’d call out to his kids (who are now my uncles and aunts in their 40s and 50s) something about a pick up time for school. Other times he’d have one-sided conversations with my grandma who passed away over a year and a half ago. On one of the worst nights, I was heading upstairs to go to bed but I noticed my uncle who was scheduled to care for him look particularly dejected outside the room. I ask him what’s wrong and he just translates exactly what my grandpa (a lifelong devout Catholic) was saying that night: “God please take me, if I must suffer like this then just end it already”.
Fast forward another month to this entire past week, he could no longer eat solid food and we gave up on dialysis because his body couldn’t keep up. These few nights I didn’t hear him dreaming anymore or even grasping to breathe. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he seemed at peace. He was declared “expired” by a hospice nurse yesterday afternoon surrounded by friends and family.
Though the music has tinges of melodic hopefulness, I couldn’t help but be addicted to the overwhelming sense of melancholy as I found myself playing it over and over these last few months. With the context of this video and my own experience, simply describing this feeling as “sadness” doesn’t seem fair. It’s not just the sadness associated with losing someone dear. It’s about remembering the love for someone you care about, the love that enabled the eventual sense of loss. It’s the hope and the fight and the struggle, and it’s also the secret part of you that knows there’s no real way to win. It’s being angry at the world for taking someone away, and recognizing the blessing that they were given to you in the first place.
He will never wake up again.
But at least he’ll be able to truly rest.
Say hi to grandma for me, love you grandpa.
Sending all of the love from the bottom of my heart to you. My grandpa passed in early 2020 ( from what we think was COVID, the hospital was very non-specific and just labeled it “respiratory infection” ) he was super healthy, loved about 2 minutes away and would ride his bike down the street to our house. He had leukemia but it was very slow progressing, and his treatments were working, he was going to be okay.
Then that February, out of nowhere, he just got sick. A week later, he was gone, just like that.
We weren’t super close, but I loved him very much and I loved hearing him talk. It hurts me that I didn’t get to spend more time with him, I had a lot of mental issues as a teenager and I feel like I missed out with my family then, I was too busy trying to drown out my own pain.
He had lived in our town for all almost 80 years of his life, he has so many stories. He was so so knowledgeable, knew absolutely everything about nature and biology, and he collected Knick knacks he could tell you about for hours.
I wish I could have heard those stories now that I’m better.
My grandma lives by herself now, they had a kitty together that had been there since I was 5, and she passed away this year too. It was my grandpas little lady, he loved her very much. I wish he was still here, not just for me, but for my grandma too.
It hurt worse than anything seeing how it broke my moms heart.
My mom is an RN, who saw everything on the front lines of what the pandemic did to people, and I’m sure it really hurt to just go through with that knowing her dad was gone too.
It’s wild how death not only affects you if you’re close with that person, or if you’re not as close, but how much it can change the lives of the people around you too. Watching everyone around you grieve hurts so bad, you just want to take that away from them, and knowing that’s impossible is defeating at times.
But I know my grandpa is at peace, wherever he may be now. I know it’s a good place, and he’s not hurting anymore. I know he’s gone home.
''So which way should i go now?
The left where nothing is right.
Or the right where nothing is left.''
(Citation)
i heard someone ask this question some time ago, and i saw a response that i feel really works
"forward."
find your own path, you'll get there one day
@@threadsofsaffron i was going to say this ,,but u told already. I have recently watched attack on titan series.and i got to learn that no matter how the situation is ,,we should always move forward.
@@threadsofsaffron I am deeply moved by this. Thank you so much 🙏❤️
my cousin who was my best friend died by suicide 5 years ago, she was about to turn 14. she died two days before my birthday after an overdose. my last attempt at joining her was two weeks ago. i feel nothing but numbness and i blame myself for her death because i could have saved her. had i realized what she said to me her final night she might still been here today. she would’ve been in college right now. we would’ve been living together right now. she will never wake up again because i did nothing that night. i have forgotten how her laugh sounded, isn’t that so sad?
I'm so sorry, i truly am, that must hurt in ways that can't be put into words
i hope you are doing okay
the hard thing about loved ones dying to mental illness is you never stop blaming yourself
It wasn't your fault
I hope you can find some sort of peace or resolvent
Hey, I know I'm a stranger from the internet, but I care. I'm sorry to hear you have been affected by suicide like so many others. I know it's so easy to blame yourself, and feel the heavy guilt, but it wasn't your fault.
If you continue to feel numb, I suggest you try volunteering just to help other people who might be struggling like your cousin. It has helped me.
And I know it's scary when you start to forget things about your lost love ones, but try to remember them through small actions you do everyday. Like every time you get some water think of one thing about that person.
I hope your doing well, and remember to take care of yourself.
Reading this comments make me think twice if I wanna end my life now, I used to not care, becuase there's not many people that know I'm still here, but I guess I'm not gonna do it...
I'm glad you didn't do it. Life could change in so many ways also for good but sometimes we can't see that from the other side of the mirror. Take care.
Write down what you feel. When you emerge on the other side and read what you wrote, you will see how far you've come.
hey just checking.. you still with us?
I care, friend.
I hope ur doing okay, cause you've obviously been seen and still are being seen.
When I turn this video on, I can’t help but feel someone next to me. Someone who I’ve never met.
But I feel them all the same.
My father, who passed away 2 years ago, was in a 5-year coma before that, although there was barely any sign of responsiveness, that glimpse of hope that he might wake up, always kept me going.. But now I realize, it’s me who’s got to wake up. Life goes on, and we shall appreciate that..
(My condolences to your dear friend, may their soul rest in peace)
My guıtar teacher. He was like a grandfather to me. He lifted a lot pain. I understanded his pain. He was glad for it. Now I can't lift his pain anymore. Now I am in pain. Who is gonna lift mine
One of my friends committed suicide in 2019. What hurts me the most is that I can barely remember how she looked. I moved states, and I learned of her death when I was so far away.
I don’t remember her face, I remember I loved her like a sister, but I can’t remember her face.
I know her favorite color is purple, she had a dark-ish kind of brown hair that was very sparkly, and she was in my Girl Scout troop.
Neither of us were teenagers. She was a month older than me.
Sometimes I like to pretend she’s the person that makes the clouds, and i can pretend she’s painting it to send messages to the people she likes.
how weird it is to feel the pain of someone's loss when you dont even know them
was thinking of my friend from school, who ended her own life last year. she always loved music like this. miss you, leslie,
Just sat with a very sick patient as he died tonight. It was my first time doing so and I find your music very soothing. Thanks for sharing it!
At the place I worked at over the summer there was a woman who came in and started looking at me very hard. It was almost a hateful look but I didn’t mind it much and moved on with my day. I’ve recently learned the reason she was looking at me in that manner was because I looked like her son who died in an accident not too long ago. She was looking at me with hate because she knew she could never see him again. I hope she finds peace.
15 days ago, lost my dad. He was full of life, energetic, always had a smile on his face. I can't put death near to my dear father, because it never suits him. He was 63, always patient, motivating people. ALWAYS had our back. I love you dad, i am sorry that i've broken your heart. For yelling at you, for humiliating you... May Allah grant you and me Jannah, may we meet there...
You didn’t break anything. He loved you and he still does
Your comment broke my heart brother, and I wish you peace and calmness. Rest in peace to your dad, he was a great man for sure ♥️
I'm an Agnostic but every time someone I love passes away I pray for heaven to be real.
I miss them, I want them to be in a better place where they can enjoy what they couldn't here on earth and I want a chance to hug them again
I do not believe heaven is a place, nor do I believe in hell. I believe they are a state of soul. Show them light and love and it may give them something to cling to so that their passing is not so harsh.
I'm an atheist my grandma dies several years ago. I still have dreams about her where i have to explain her that she can't remember her life becuse she's just a part of my dreams. Then we start dancing..
Waking up from this gives me feelings like this music does.
You can’t pray for something that isn’t real, to be real… deep down in your heart you know God is real, and that Heaven & Hell are real.. brother, death is a reminder to us, that we are mortal… and life is a reminder to us, that we are loved.
@@cobalius if your grandma believed in Jesus she is in heaven, and more than likely she prayed every nights for you… you know in heaven we will have no pain, only joy.. maybe the dream is God wanting you to know that.
You might already have heard it, but try Cigarettes and Saints by The Wonder Years
"Well I'm sure there ain't a heaven
but that don't mean I don't like to picture you there"
This makes me feel really shitty about listening to this because I'm suicidal, but it's like, there's two. One side of the mirror you have the living, and the other side you have the dead. Sometimes though, a living person gets on the wrong side of the mirror. Through thought, action, or circumstance or all three maybe- I'm on the wrong side of the mirror and I'm sorry.
You aren't on the wrong side of the mirror. Sometimes, no matter how unjust, people have to see the other side -- even due to curiosity, they step to the other side. -- but that other side will always be there, you can always go there when your body's ready. Thing is, you cant come back to this side of the mirror. I'm suicidal too, but sometimes we have to cherish the time we have here before moving on; You could put one piece of a puzzle down and call it finished, but, you'll never see what its supposed to look like.
I'm glad you're on this side of the mirror.
Hey, I know this comment is kinda old but I hope you are doing better. Please message me if you need anything. May GOD bless you.
@@randomperson5912 thank you. Actually I spent most of my life suicidal, and I tried to drink myself to death but today I'm 19 days sober and in AA. When my body began actually breaking down with real medical problems, it scared me. It made me decide to fight. What else are we doing in life if we aren't fighting our demons with everything we have?
@@lavendergilly5843 That's a beautiful way of thinking about it. The mindset that got me through depression was "If I'm going down I'll go down kicking, screaming, biting and spitting." and I'm still here. I'm happy to say while I'm still fighting mental illness, depression is no longer one of them. I believe in you. I know I'm just one stranger on the internet, but I believe in you.
Don't be sorry, life is worth living it. Pain and suffering are a beauty too.
Trigger warning
I remember when my grandfather passed away. I was in my room with my sister, and i heard a terrifying scream. It was very scary. My mother was holding the phone, and screaming. We didn't know what was going on, I asked my father, he said something's wrong with our grandfather. My dad was just talking to different people on the phone, my mother was still screaming. We were packing up to go to his house( different state) throughout the journey I held on to hope that he will be okay. I refused to believe anything happened. Everyone on the phone kept telling us that he was just sick. We reached his house, and there were people all around the house. I entered and heard my grandmother crying loudly. My mother started screaming again, although she had been relatively calm through the journey. As I was entering the room, out of the corner of my eye I saw my grandfather's legs. I was suddenly happy because I thought he was okay, even though my grandmother was sobbing loudly beside him. When I saw him fully, I thought he was sleeping. He was in his normal sleeping position, he would often fall asleep while watching TV. But he wasn't snoring as he normally did, and his mouth was hanging open. I felt my heart shatter when I saw that he wasn't moving. I put my hand on his stomach, and he was completely still. I remember as a kid, I'd get up to get a glass of water, and I'd pass by him, and put my hand on his stomach to check his breathing, and make sure he was ok. But when I touched him this time, I felt nothing. The older people in the room didn't let me see him properly,and then they took him away from me. I didn't even get to see him properly. My mom used to call him papa. When they were in the process of getting him ready for the cremation, she was lying at his feet and shouting "papa" over and over and over. My grandmother, she kept cradling his face in her arms and kept telling us to look at him, because we won't be able to look at him again. The people in the house still didn't let me see him properly. And then they took him away. This was in November 2020, I had newly turned 16.
I'm sorry for the strong details, I've just been keeping it in for so long, it's killing me. I was sobbing throughout the process of writing this. I miss him very much. I didn't even get to see him before he passed away. I don't know why I wrote this. I know this is very long. Just the very night before, I had promised my mom I'd call him everyday, I'd bake him a cake when we meet him, I'd play cards with him like we used to, I never got to bake him a cake. I didn't call him, I thought I'd call him tomorrow. What do I do now that he's not there to receive the call?
I’m so sorry. That must’ve been horrible. I hope you’re doing well though. Loss of a family member is just heartbreaking and I hate to think what you went through. Hope you know how much you are loved even so. God bless.
You look up at the sky, wave with a wide smile, knowing that nothing in this world can ever hurt him or cause him pain anymore. You celebrate his life, and remember all the lessons and memories he made with you. Hold them close to your heart. Maybe, when you have kids of your own, you can tell them the story of their amazing great grandfather whom you love very deeply. This pure love that you feel, hold it tightly like a ship overseas. It will never die. Breathe and smile. You will feel the sun shining on your skin once again.
Im so sorry. I userstand the need to see them.. i wish i had been able to see my stepdad. He drowned last year, and my mom said i wouldnt have wanted to see him that way, but without seeing him its hard to come to grips with the fact he's really gone
Something that helped me cope is writing. I had an aunt that passed when I was in middle school, woman essentially taught me how to read over the phone. I still even have her phone number memorized to this day she had that much of an impact on me. Every once in a while, years later, I be listening to something like this and think back to all the times I used to have a conversation with her over the phone about the dumbest things. And I'll pull out my phone, write a little note to her about how much I miss her and want to do all these things with her that I can no longer do. Makes me feel a bit better afterwards. I am able to say the things I want to, even if she may not be there to read it.
Maybe do the same for your grandfather, give the number a call if its still available to be called or try writing like I do. Everyone deals with death differently but everyone still deals with it. Stay strong and know that your grandfather loved you, hold onto those memories of him that your thankful for and make sure to talk about him when you get the chance. He may not be around to talk to us anymore, but he's alive within you.
I'm sorry, mate. I am in the same spot after losing my childhood friend last week. All we really can do is stay strong for them, drink a toast to them, and remember the memories we made with them. I wish you the best.
“History is all you left me.”
"Hey, take care, see you again!"
"Thanks, see you again when I come back for holidays, take care!"
I came back, and visited him, had a nice talk until late at night. His grave was so nicely lit, but his life was extinguished. RIP friend, you will never know how many times I've mentioned you, or how many times I got sad and angry while holding a bottle in one hand and our pictures in the other.
My condolences to you brother
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, --and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of --Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air...
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark or even eagle flew --
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
--John Gillespie Magee, Jr
High Flight is not about death at all, but being a fighter pilot (although the two at that time were necessarily intertwined). Magee it when he was only 19, a few months before he died. Brave man, and incredibly interesting backstory. Born in Shanghai, parents were American and British, granted a scholarship to Yale but instead joined the Canadian Royal Airforce, and died above England when his fighter collided with another plane, and he now lies in Lincolnshire.
To my friend who died to young and to quickly, you always managed to bring smile to everybody every time you were there. You left unforgettable memory to everybody who loved you and we will miss you.
You went for a routine surgery and you never waked up, did you know what happen ? How strange it must have been for you, going there full of hope that your body will be better in a few day.
I always though the expression "the best person leave first" was bullshit, I never expected to be this wrong.
You still had dream, stuff you were looking to do, friend you wanted to be with, a family to love and the world took you to soon anyway. 18 years old is not an age to go but like your brother said, everything is fast and quick with you so I guess that apply to that too.
In any case I hope you went in peace, I say farewell but you will always be in my heart. If there is something after, I'm looking forward to see you again, if not, I'm grateful that I had the chance to know you.
An aneurism took my best friend while we were talking over a call, not three weeks after the death of his father, another good friend of mine. The medics broke down his door and managed to revive him, but only for a day and a half. He never woke up, and sometimes I wish they never gave us the false hope for that long day. Rest in peace, Zack. You were the best of us whether you believed it or not. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish it were me in your place instead.
To the person who read this,
It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend.
“Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and great years.
I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)
broke down at " [...] but don't your younger self deserve good things?"
It felt like you were speaking directly to me. I really needed it. Just know that you're a gift to this world, thank you for being here :)♥️
woaw.!.merci pour ce cadeau, love light & peace
I was crying when I started to read this, then I smiled thank you so much for these words
That is very beautiful
Death, is not the end, and life is not the beginning. We all simply are, in each moment that has ever been, and each moment that ever will. We are, and forever will, be.
The family dog died a few months. She had been with us for 12 years and was basically another member of the family, especially to me. The months prior she hadn't been doing that great but in last few days of her life she was doing much better. She died in the morning suddenly. I hadn't been there when it happen but when got I saw lifeless her body i knew she was dead before being told. I didn't want to accept it and didn't want to see her body. I was sad for next hour but I don't think I cried.
Our family has a "graveyard" on our property, for all the pets we have lost through out the years. We have a tradition of coming together to say some words about the pet before burying it. It's like a mini funeral.
4 hours after she died my mom, dad, and brother carried out the funeral but forgot to invite me. When I heard that they had done the funeral without me I got angry and kicked a hole in the wall. I don't angry easily but at that time felt so frustrated that I actually kicked a hole the wall. That is the only time I have caused physical damage to anything because of anger.
After I had cooled down a little my mom told/invited me to go where they had buried her (the dog). She showed me where exactly and left me in private. When she left I poured out my feeling to the grave. That is when the water works came and I cried for 3 or 4 minutes while pouring out my feeling. It was a sad day for rain.
She really was like a part of our family. She was like an adoptive mother to all the young kittens we picked up throughout the years. I do miss her dearly. I hope all dogs go to heaven.
Goodbye to my Grand Mother, I will take you in my heart for the rest of my life. You were my first love, and you taught me how to carry on in this cruel world. I'm sorry if I couldn't give you more, but I always loved you.
when i was 14, i woke up one day to see my loved,amazing and caring father passed away in his bed. i miss you dad, you are my favorite thing in this sick and sad world. I think about you to this day , 10 years later .
Since he was an amazing and caring father! Thats means he is happy in a better place now (In heaven)
This was uploaded on my birthday, I turned 16 in 2019, now I recently turned 18. Listening to this is my way of coping with being considered an adult now and forever. In a way, I'm grieving the loss of the little girl I was years ago. But we grow and move on, I still need to learn how to accept that.
hey little grown up girl :) you never lose her. and do not try to. she is precious ;) but yes, there will hopefully be a grown up behind that date of birth as well. and dont neglect the puberty ridden teenager.. if u think lost that part it might hit u over the head without u realizing ^^ well, and if thats too hard to believe from a stranger...maybe the fact that technically the brain isnt out of the state of puberty until the age between 22 and 25 :) After studying the matter my 18y old knows she will be my lil one until 25 at least (oc metaphoricaly speaking ^^ i think its a bit less pressure to think that way.)
This is the second worst thing to happen to those orphans
only if i had someone who genuinely loved and cared for me like you cared for your friend.
My father died days ago... and I miss him so much... he will never wake up again...
but you will see him
@@EngiNetion you are right, thank you...
My brother died one year ago but my grief is still fresh. Hope your friend is in a better place, truly
the loss never gets old...is always fresh and inside you....godspeed to your brother!
it's like a requiem of a childhood I never had, for friends I never made, and for happy moments I forgot bc I was too occupied with the fight against the unwillingness to continue.
if u would live close we could try to become friends that we finally made.... i feel ur comment
@@Monayla :( Im sorry that you had to go through this as well
I miss you techno
I've lost one person every year to suicide for the last 5 years of my life.
It never gets easier.
still catch myself wanting to go over and ask if we can hang or sumn.
fuck.
i hope youre good man.
i hope ill be good, too.
Kendisini burada bulan güzel ruha zamanın paslı demirlerinde eşlik etmeye geldim ❤️
ıts ok youre ok -bonjr
Hayat çok anlamsız ve saçma.
Şurada bir sandalyenin üzerinde gırtlağıma kadar yaşamıma gömülmüş oturuyor ve hiçbir şeye inanmıyorum.
Bu boşluk ve karanlığın sonsuz olmasını isterdim.
My father passed away on the 1st of December, this year, lung failure and heart problems.
He lived separately from us, but was visiting us when I was younger. As the time went, we were meeting less often, and the last couple of years we barely met at all due to coronavirus. I don't think that we've spent nearly enough time together, and now it's too late to catch up.
When me and mum arrived at his place after grandma's phone call, we found him in his room. It looked as if he was just sleeping - he decided to lay down for a nap, grandma said. Only he'd never wake up from it.
This damned winter doesn't get easier, recently I caught a flu which made me pass out for maybe the first time in my life, but I feel like I'm recovering fairly well.
Everything feels like the end as of late though, I hope I get through this accursed winter, but I don't even know what for. I haven't felt like myself for the last few years now
I'm sorry... its still fresh. Try to go easy on yourself. You have my sympathy ❤
Hang in there, buddy. This may all be too much, but there is a sun that will rise just for you. Talk to your loved ones and you will find peace.
what's the point of living without my grandmother? someday I will be happy again with warm memories in my soul, but now there is only the pain of loss and thoughts that everything could be fixed, that I could say goodbye for the last time
I am sorry for your loss..
I hope she is in a better place ♡
In heaven ❤️☁️
I lost a friend in 5th grade to a fire, lost the rest after I graduated high school (was bullied the whole way), went 2 years without any real friends while battling my parents as they got divorced (which lasted 6 years, end of sophomore year to last year 2020), transferred to a university with no one, but my siblings and dad back home and no one at the university. Though I found real friends, my relationship with my siblings and dad have been steady and improving, and I'm on my last semester of college with a good GPA, I am still haunted by the past everyday. Haunted by the loses, the mistakes, the people I've hurt and couldn't help. I say this to not beg for sympathy, but to say that no matter what you are going through, no matter what you face keep moving, find your own happiness, goals and meaning. Learn from the past. Create your own hope and never forget that you are not alone, there will always be others to help you, to walk beside you whether it be family, friends or the random acts of kindness from strangers. Keep Moving Forward, One Day at a Time
When someone hear of someone passing that is close to them usually the first thing that comes into mind is 'this has to be a joke' or 'no it can't be happening' it's sad for someone who usually is the strongest breaks down instantly as they hear it
"I hope you find peace before the end of your world"
"The end of my world is the peace"
I like to think of life that we as humans make as a bubble. Make sure you burst it once in a while.
These are wise words
My friend took his life on 15 june last year. We worked at the same place and would sit and talk everyday. I looked up to him and thought he had it all figured out. I wish he had told me how he felt. Maybe i could have done something. We used to get caught up in the rain a lot. Every single rain i wish he was here so he could enjoy it.
Some years ago I lost a friend who I also considered the most important person in my life at the moment. It was on the dawn of what could have been a love story, and as such, when that story was truncated even before its beginning the idealization of things that never happened, the strike of reality, and the pain of feeling lonely even when I was surrounded by people, were the perfect recipe for depression, which I suffered for most of my teenage years and during my early adulthood.
The pain is still there, and the depression still haunts me from time to time (not necessarily because of that particular incident). I know this blue feeling will be a life companion and I've learned to endure and even to embrace my gray moods. Music like this makes a perfect partner to both, the emotionally cloudy days and the sunny ones. It pours like a soft balm to a never healing injury, not a cure, but a relief.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. There's nothing else I can say to express my gratitude for uploading this. Today I feel less lonely. I hope you receive comfort and your heart finds peace.
That is so awful. I am hoping that you get support and kindness from the world around you while dealing with depression and grief. It never permanently passes, but I'm hoping it can ease up on you as time goes on. I'm so sorry for your loss.
i am so happy you made it this far. so proud of you.
your writing is amazing ! hope you have peace and patience with yourself.
I lost my dad to covid.
it been almost 2 years, but I feel like it was yesterday.
His voice, his smile, his face and that ugly hairsyle. I can still remember it all.
The sad part is I will never see them again in real life.
Inshallah You will see him again in heaven 🕊❤
I have never yet lost anyone important to me, and I fear the day I have to experience that unavoidable feeling.
This comment section is just the best. Sorry to everyone who lost someone, but I'm happy that literally *every* comment I see is nice and supportive. Hope you all have a great day wherever or however you are currently.
Loss is what brought me to post rock in the first place...
same
me too.
This is such a real comment bro.
Me too brother
Same, more than 10 years ago
Reading comments made me cry buckets, im sorry for your losses, may ur beloved people remain into another beautiful place 💜 stay strong, stay healthy, stay positive, dont give up. Life may be diffucult anf hard but you can handle it, you can survive and fight the struggles. Have a blessed day i love you ❤️
This has no relation to suicide but, I lost my cat yesterday. He was on the operating table and his little heart stopped, there was nothing they could do. He would have been 10 years old on the 28th of the month. Somehow I found myself here.
Rest in peace Eddie, my little angel. Thank you for all the love and laughs.
28/02/2013 - 03/02/2023
I am sorry for your loss, Loosing a Cat is really painful .. its like loosing a member of the family...
But listen,Animals don't have freewill , so they wont be judged, MEANS they will go STRAIGHT to heaven ☁
Allah Yarahmou (means May God have mercy on him) ♥
I have two cats of my own and the kind of love I have for them is like no other so I know how you must’ve felt but I hope you’re better now and I am sure you gave him all the love and care throughout his life.
It was in 2012, my grandma was like second mom to me. She meant everything to me. I had millions of memories with her. One day she was lying on the bed in living room and called me " son get me some water" i was playing computer game and replied her like " come on grandma you are not that sick" i think she found a way to drink water by herself but sad thing was she died at the same night. No words to say but saddest part for me is before she passed away i went to hospital to see her. The medical cables were everywhere on her. She was barely breathing and directly ran to her side. And i asked " you good grandma?" and she said to me " you see my son i'm that sick" after that sentence i started to cry. Held her hands and last one goodbye hug. It has been almost 10 years. But you know sometimes it hits suddenly, directly deepest place in your heart. I wish had a chance to hug her and smell her again for hours. I love you grandma, you are my everything even tho i screwed up with you. I am sorry..
I was the last one in the family that saw my father. I was 10 years old in a spider-man tent in the living room and he was on the phone talking to a doctor, he was in his scrubs because he worked in a hospital. I was watching him from the tent for some reason and I remember him getting off the phone and walking through the kitchen and out the door. When the news came in that he was missing, I was convinced he was on another business trips. I could never tell when he would go on one and he wouldn't tell me so it just seemed like more of the same, I didn't even help with missing posters since no one wanted to break the fantasy I was in. It went on for a few days until I found the pastor in the hallway with my mother and she was crying. My mind couldn't even conceive of what happened until I was sat down, surrounded by friends of the family whom I didn't even recognize, and told by my oldest brother that our father had committed suicide.
My life took a horrible turn after that: my mother became abusive, my oldest brother abandoned the family, and my other brother who was also older became broken after trying to hold everything together for years. I even recently found out that I was unplanned and that my father didn't want kids. My father only ever interacted with me when he was angry or pressured so I'll never know if he even loved me. So many of my memories are a blur of horrible things but the only thing from my childhood I can remember clear as day is him in his scrubs, walking out for the last time.
I hope he's dreaming well.
Your story broke my heart. As a dad it just guts me to hear this.
I pray that God would bring you peace and healing, and new hope. I'm here too if you want someone to talk to.
I hope you have a good Christmas and I hope 2023 is awesome beyond compare.
Lumina, you are a great person and I send you big hugs. I also lost my father. Stick to the ones who truly care about you and go your own way.
To My father:
It's been 3 months since you have passed away. And it is only now that I have come to terms with your death. I don't really have much to say to you, given the circumstances of our relationship. Perhaps, you tried showing me love in your own sort of way. It is with regret that I inform you that the funeral was absolutely shit. However, I got to close your grave and read your tombstone out loud. That was the only recognition I got as your son. Seriousness aside, they completely butchered my name during your eulogy. Dad... I am at a very low point in life... Since your death, everything turned upside down. The girl I was going to introduce you to, left me. Mainly because I mistreated her. I pushed her away. I started drinking and smoking and doing all these funny things. Ultimately, I almost killed myself again... And every time I reach that new level of low, I always remember the words you left me with the last time I was with you at home. It is only now after having lost everything, that I realize I have been holding on to all of that anger, bitterness and hurt. It is with great angst that I say the following; hoping and praying that things can't possibly get any worse, I forgive you... Even though you've expressed your affection through the means of causing me misery, I still miss you. I wish, I fucking wish I was a good enough for you. I wish you were a good enough father. But, in your last days I guess you tried, till you fucked up again. And now, we are here. You're dead, I'm flunking out of varsity and have no fucking clue what's next. On the bright side sir, I am still alive... And I choose to free myself from years of resentment. Rest in peace pops. I love you.
@Zane M-D Thanks for asking. The past year has been somewhat interesting. After dropping out, I binged on alcohol and antidepressants. I spent the remainder of 2021 cowering under an office desk of the job I got.
It was nothing major. But, my hard work through all the shit storm payed off. Finally, after resolving almost all the emotional baggage, I had nothing left to feel. So, I ventured on to my next possible misery.
I decided to start a cannabis business. I knew it was not going to work out but I needed something to cling on to. Since that was effort thrown to the abyss, I decided to start a podcast.
Funny enough, it got attention if the local radio station and it became a radio show. My content was very self referential. But, people enjoyed it.
It went on until new years. I quit the show on a high end. In the last episode I voiced my disgust at the seemingly never ending cycle of suffering.
However, that led me to accept that everyone and everything else is what it is. A few people hated it, other accepted the notion that it all is what it is.
"My shit is all fucked up and my fucks are all full of shit. I don't know shit about fuck and definitely know fuck-all about shit. It is what it is, it do what it does and it be what it was"
Sounded cool at the time. I'm still going with that saying.
Anyways, I ended up moving to a different town to focus on my business. It seemed promising at first until it crashed and burned.
Whilst I was busy finding my feet, My ex came crawling back. Seeing that I was thr villain in this situation, I decided to give it one last go. Turns out, she was gas lighting me the entire time.
Despite my dissapointment, I got to experience some sense of relief. For once, I wasn't the bad one. But, I still adopted this weird overly nice guy type of behaviour out of fear of hurting someone. Just for it to turn out that, it was all just a lie.
She was as broken as I was and probably a worse person then me. The only difference is, while she cowered behind false righteousness and morality, I decided to not ascribe to neither titles of good or bad.
I just decided to be. After that sobering discovery, I dipped into depression again.
I spent the April and May loving off beer and meat. Finally, by some luck, I got a call from a lady asking me why the fuck am I not in her office.
Obviously, like most days, I was at the peak of my hangover. I knew I had no real job or income and relied on being a freelance radio show host / wannabe journo/ reporter. So, the unexpected harassment from an unknown boss didn't mean anything.
Before cussing her out, I decided to listen to her. I remembered that months earlier, I had submitted a few voice samples of myself.
She liked my voice and aparently other people did too. I got an interview, that I horribly butchered.
I didn't really take it too seriously because it seems to good to be true, plus I was a bit drunk when the interview happened.
A week later, I got an email with a contract ready to be signed.
I ended up becoming a journalist.
So, with just a guitar clothes, I moved to a different town. No money, nothing.
Right now, I'm a few months into the new job. I have a decent place to stay.
I'm not completely happy because, well, the salary doesn't cover a lot of things but it's something.
I'm not entirely unhappy either. Given where I was and what I am currently doing. I think my father would be a bit proud.
When times are tough, I always remember the nights under the table. As long as it's not like that, I am good.
Right now, I am mildly depressed because of other things, but I am a lot happier than I was a year ago.
Starting over ain't easy...but, like I said.
It is what it is. It be what it was amd it do what it does.
The media company I'm working for is pretty big. I guess, the small case of depression might be due to the pressure of trying to make a name for myself and just trying to find something else to generate more cash inorder to live and not survive. Cost of living has increased dramatically since the last time I lived alone and sort of gave a shit about life.
Once again. Thanks for asking.
I almost sank into a depressive state for a sec, but I remember this post.
Holy fuck. It's been a year.
@Zane M-D you've made my night bud.
From one stranger to another. I love you too man.
If you're going through something as well, just keep this conversation in mind.
On a serious note though, thank you very much bruv.
@@zedd_1 🤣😂😂bud, I agree with you. These comments are cringe as fuck. But, I can't stop laughing at it all. As for who talks like that, cringy people talk like that. On a side note, I think just being open about weird shit that goes on in your mind, is a bit cringy... Perhaps we should have stifled it. But, majority comments here are cringy as fuck. This becomes apparent when you read through them with a less 'pained' state of mind.
Anyways man, I am good bruv. I am also in a weird space where I don't fully recognize myself. But, there is no sadness really. Just chilling and haphazardly looking forward towards what's the next move in life. Hope you're doing good bruv.
I have been thinking of deleting the comment. Let me know what you think, should we remove the thread?
A year ago, I lost the love of my life. And I thought maybe after a year this fire burning inside will calm down a bit, even just a lil bit I said. But here I am, still thinking bout her every minute of everyday, still mourning her loss, nd this pain inside of me just keeps on growing each day That passes without hearing her voice, her laughs. If you can still hear me I just want to say that I still love you and always will, Im still yours and always will till I can hold you between my arms again. And even tho your loss brought me great sadness and pain, i never regretted a day with you. Rest in peace and I hope I see you soon.
Poka.
may god give you patience.. I wish for her to rest in peace, so sorry for your loss.
I know what it’s like to have your brain fail you. I was incapacitated for 5 months due to a concussion mixed with severe migraines. I couldn’t move my eyes. I couldn’t be in bright places or with loud noises. I couldn’t read or think without feeling like my brain was going to explode. It’s hard to recognize pain when it can’t be visually seen. But when someone did acknowledge my pain, nothing made me feel more relieved. It made me realize that’s it’s okay that you aren’t okay. I know your loved ones may not be able to speak or show you their love and pain, but I promise you that if you show that you really care. It means the world to them. It makes them realize that they aren’t alone in their hurt. No matter how small, it helps. Nothing hurts more than someone telling you that you don’t hurt. I realize that my struggles weren’t as serious, but all pain is pain. I think that if I only had one person there for me- it would have made worlds of difference in my recovery.
Living is done through memory and story. Make your friend's story a magical one.
I know it's been some time since you uploaded this playlist, but it's one of my favorites.
Not because i've lost someone, but cause I lost myself, when i hear this i fell like I'm losing myself everyday, like if I'm getting lost in an abyss, it's a feeling I can't really describe, but i feel it deep in my soul, heart, mind and bones.
Eryzon hope everything is okay. stay strong! :)
I feel it too
That's meditation
You will cross the abyss it's all part of the process. All you've got to do is hold on.
I feel the same...
i lost my grandpa earlier this year.
despite him being blind, he was the most upbeat, optimistic man you could have ever seen. no matter his ailment, no matter what weakness his body was put through, he acted as if it were not even there to begin with. even on his death bed, he was not afraid. he shared this happiness with everyone he loved, including me. despite my insecurities of myself, he always saw the best in me despite his literal inability to see. i’ll never forget how often he said that i was going to do great things. those kind of words always made me feel good when he was around. now that he’s left this world forever, i can’t help but think about where his spirit has gone now.
i sympathize with and can’t fathom that my mom never got to truly say goodbye to her own father because of coronavirus restrictions. i can only imagine the devastation she still holds in her heart.
i’m going to miss him.
I see all the pain and the loss of the people in the comments, and I never want to cause that to anyone. So I'm staying alive
My grandpa died from Covid in 2020. Before there was any vaccine or any proper information. And before his death I honestly never thought about any of my family dying, like the thought of any one of them dying seemed somewhat impossible to me. My maternal grandpa died probably 7 years ago but back then I never felt the impact of loosing quite much unlike I did when my paternal grandpa died.
My entire point of view about life changed. The reality...... I realized I'm gonna be all alone if my parents are gone or if any one of them even dies I can't cope. So I pray for them to be with me for a long long time or at least let us die together so that I can't feel the pain of loosing.
I'm so sorry. I can feel what you feel, because my little friend passed away nearly 6 months ago, without any sights of sickness... It's been so long, but I've missed my Marianek, that rabbit was one of very few friends I've had...and most of them are animals. I believe our friends are in better place, being happy. Take care
i miss my grandmother. Mamila apa, i miss you too much
My grandmother died last July 23, 2020. She had lung cancer. I missed her so much but I know living is far too painful for her. I love you grandma, I'll never forget you.
(Bit of a long comment)
Back around 2011 when I was 7 or 8, I was playing with my step brothers on my PS2. My father called me into his room and told me that my great grandmother passed away. I always went to her house for Thanksgiving. The last 1 or 2 years prior, I would always see her with some sort of machine right next to her to keep her breathing. But I don't know whether it was just not me fully understanding or simply not caring. I just... went back to playing my games. Not shedding a tear. I loved her and I didn't even do anything. And then, just last year, my big sister died. I'm not fully sure of what, but I was told of some sort of overdose. She was a single mother of a then 1 and a half year old baby who now will have to grow up without a mother. We were not that close since we would rarely see each other and lived away from each other but we loved each other. And the same thing. I just didn't feel anything. Just kept playing my games. I fear that they watched me from the afterlife just move on and that they think I don't love them. That was August of 2021. Then just a month later as I turned 18, I called my grandpa to see how things were at home and he told me that his dog that has been around for as long as I can remember, had to be put down due to how old he became and how much pain he was in. Then I just couldn't. I was fucked up for a bit after that. Instantly breaking down and finally realizing what that means. Not seeing someone again. Not being able to say bye. I can never go back to my great grandma's house for Thanksgiving. I can never eat lunch with my big sister again. I can never play with grandpa's dog again. And I fear that my grandpa will die someday soon and I won't be able to say bye to him either. But I worry most of all that I'll do the same thing and just not cry over him. I hope they know I love them.
I am sorry for your loss. Remember the good times you had and cherish the time with your loved ones.
A close friend of mine died last year. We would do a lot of writing together and she was one of my biggest supporters, I ended up choosing to major in creative writing because of her. After she passed, I couldn't write. I still can't, not happily. Every time I prepare a page or open a new document, I see her. My eyes trace her smile in the reflection of the screen and I hear her voice in every word I read. It is so hard some nights. I originally began listening to this to grieve, and while I still am, I am able to grieve and write slowly when listening. Thank you for putting unspeakable emotions into a playlist. I'm not able to tell my new friends or professors why I have a 'writer's block' but being here, in the comments, I feel less alone. Thank you.
I am sorry for your loss..
I hope she is in a better place ♡
In heaven ❤️☁️
I'm sorry. 😔
I wonder if it would help you to process it, just to write about this exact thing. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece... I'm thinking of more of a stream of consciousness. Just let it pour out. Sometimes that will get my writers block "unblocked". I've even used it as a form of prayer. Its raw and honest and it can be helpful.
How strange I'm broken up by the loss of others and see so much value in them, and yet feel nothing for the loss of myself and value nothing of myself.
I wish this terrible thing or lack of things in me weren't there for I know it will surely harm what I care for